Chapter Text
Binghe did not know when it started, but….it seems everyone was very doting towards him? Or very careful at least? Most of them, anyway. Especially the Peak Lords! All of them are really, really nice!
The Bai Zhan disciples keep challenging him to fights….as if they are under the impression that he is a personal disciple. Though they're the ones who ended up getting punished by his many martial uncles and aunts–sometimes, they'd be dragged away from him by their ear, leaving him feeling confused and bewildered.
…Which was, quite frankly, ridiculous! Him? A personal disciple of the Bai Zhan War God?
Shizun was also around more than usual, when he's normally rumoured to always be away due to long night hunts.
Very unlike the Bai Zhan War God that he's rumoured to be!
Actually, every Peak Lord was acting weird and very much not themselves.
….Like a certain immortal scholar.
“....Is Luo-shizhi living well…?”
Said Qing Jing Peak Lord asks, fanning himself slowly, peering over the edge of his fan. Binghe gulped, as he stared up, up, up— at the immortal master looming over him. He was frozen in awe at the beautiful and peerless being, before shaking his head, clasping his hands to do a salute of fist to palm, and bowing respectfully.
“Yes, Shen-shibo! This one is living well and is adjusting just fine at Bai Zhan Peak!”
“And your Shizun….?”
“Shizun is really nice and has been staying around the Peak more often than usual. Does Shen-shibo want this one to call for Shizun….?”
“Unnecessary. This Shibo merely wishes to see if Shizhi and the others are being cared for….your Shizun has the tendency to leave his disciples to their own devices.”
Binghe paused, before nodding slowly as he eventually let go of his respectful bowing.
They stand in silence, with Binghe just waiting for the other to say something.
It was….a little awkward.
Because the Qing Jing Peak Lord was just looking at him with unreadable green eyes, fanning himself as he did so.
“....Does…uhm….Shibo need anything else…?”
Binghe awkwardly questions, shifting a little from foot to foot, until his Shibo finally spoke up.
“Ah, yes. Disciple Luo should take this.”
“....?”
Binghe opens his palms to receive a book from his Shibo. It was another cultivation manual, like his Shizun had haphazardly thrown his way before leaving back then.
“A-ah, thanking Shen-shibo for this!”
“Mn. Luo-shizhi should work hard to be a good cultivator. This Master must leave now—tell your Shizun that this one's Husband requires his presence tonight, and to make haste if possible.”
With a whirl of layers and layers of fluttering robes and billowing sleeves, a gaping Binghe was left behind by the elegant immortal scholar, who hopped onto his sword and flew away.
“S-shen-shibo, you and Shizun are married?! Shizun is married?!”
Shen Qingqiu did not hear his words, as he was already on his sword, Xiu Ya, and flying away from Bai Zhan Peak, too far to hear him begging for confirmation.
Poor Binghe was left behind with this information that was finally confirmed with him
“Why are you sulking?”
Ming Fan asked, from where a certain Bai Zhan disciple was lurking around.
They were supposed to be training, but Ming Fan irritably put it on hold, annoyed by his distraction and trying hard not to be too obvious about it, and failing.
“Shizun is married!”
“....So?”
Binghe let out multiple noises of despair, sitting at a nearby small boulder, head in hands.
“.....?”
“ *sigh* Da-shixiong is so clueless at times!”
Ning Yingying, who was with them, piped up, also sighing as she joined Luo Binghe at the boulder, sitting beside him and patting his back soothingly.
“Wah–I'm not! I really don't know what is happening! I bet you don't know either, Ning-shimei!”
Ming Fan sputtered defensively, while Ning Yingying stuck out her tongue.
(….In the background, it seems Binghe is busy sulking, and growing a dark mushroom farm).
“Yes, I do! I'm not blind and clueless and dense like Da-shixiong!”
And ouch–even Binghe winced at that. Sometimes, his Shijie–ironically enough–was too oblivious to notice that her words kind of….hurts at times. She might mean well, but her words and actions do the opposite of her intent!
“Oh yeah? And pray tell, what is the cause of your brute of a shidi's sulking?”
At Ming Fan's words, it seems to send Binghe into a sulkier mood, and he huffs at this, hands raising up in the air, as if to say he gives up on our dear, dramatic protagonist!
“He likes Liu-shibo! And he's sulking because Liu-shibo is already married!”
“N-Ning-shijie!”
An embarrassed Luo Binghe squeaked out, hissing at her to shush next, but Ning Yingying and Ming Fan ignored him, too busy arguing.
“No, he doesn't. I know Bingbing better–he likes Shizun!”
“No! He likes Liu-shibo!”
“He obviously likes Shizun better! Why aren't you on this team? Sure, Liu-shibo is pretty, but the one to take the number one spot of being liked first is Shizun!”
“Da-shixiong is being silly again! As much as I love Shizun, wouldn't it make more sense for Bingbing to like Liu-shibo first? After all, they spend time around each other a lot, Liu-shibo doesn't leave his Peak as often as he did before!”
“No, it's obviously Shizun!”
“Disagree! I say it's Liu-shibo!”
“Shizun is more graceful and elegant! Obviously, Bingbing would be more in awe of him!”
“G-guys…? Please don't argue–just let me sulk in peace–”
Binghe begged, yet he was shushed by two fingers pressed to his lips, effectively hushing him.
“Shhh, the ladies are talking.”
“Ming-shixiong isn't a lady–”
“Shhhhhh!”
A confused Binghe looked on as the two argued, wondering why they hushed him. His question about Ming Fan’s gender, forgotten. Eventually, the argument escalated a little, and normally sweet, nice Ning Yingying snapped.
“Your argument is invalid!”
A gasp. Both from Ming Fan, then from their extra onlooker, then from Binghe.
“Well, I refuse your statement on the grounds that there is no proof of your statement!”
“There is too! Bingbing gave me enough proof! Bingbing IS the living proof!”
“Objection–!”
“I object your objection!”
Ning Yingying yelled back, getting too caught up in it and throwing down a layer of one of her many layers of outer robes. There was a pause in the conversation, where Binghe picked up and dusted it off for her, before silently and awkwardly handing it back.
"...Thanks, Bingbing."
"You're welcome, Shijie." Came the exasperated response.
“...That was too much, Shimei.”
“Sorry, Shixiong. Moving on—”
They began their senseless and childish screaming match once more, a helpless smile and a disbelieving laughter bubbling up within Binghe.
….Unbeknownst to him, the two had a silent agreement of cheering the other up by being childish with each other, as embarrassing as it was for Ming Fan.
“Shizun!”
“Liu-shibo!”
“Shizun!”
“Liu-shibo!”
Binghe held both hands to the side, like he was stopping two velociraptors from coming over to devour him who stood in between them, desperately begging them to stop. His face was red, eyes shut tight in embarrassment, hair looking a little frazzled.
“Da-shixiong, Ning-shijie, stop! I like them both, okay?! Please stop arguing!”
At the same time that he shouted this out, a veiled face was next to Luo Binghe's face, chin cupped in hand as they leaned over his shoulder and looked at what he had just stopped at a closer look.
“Interesting argument there. I would like more of this topic, and want to join in this conversation.”
With that, a scream echoed in the bamboo groves forest,of a name of a certain Xian Shu Head Disciple.
Meanwhile, Shen Qingqiu looked up from his scrolls, where he was busy pouring over them while having Shang Qinghua and Liu Qingge over for tea.
“Looks like the kids are getting along nicely.”
He smiled, before he scowled and quickly swatted at the hand of a certain An Ding Peak Lord sneaking towards the plate of sweets that Liu Qingge bought for him.
“Ow! Bro! Why?! So stingy!”
“Hack authors don't deserve sweets!”
“You're so mean!”
Liu Qingge sighed, finishing plating some sweets on a small plate, and placing it before the logistics cultivator.
“If you waited a little more, you would get yours. No need for your hand to go neighbouring around for other's food.”
He scolded lightly, to which the other just pouted.
Other than that, it was a very peaceful day.
(A few days later:)
Shang Qinghua blinked calmly down at the boy he accidentally ran into.
“Ah, Luo-shizhi! Apologies–are you alright? What brings you here?”
On the inside, he was sweating nervously, hoping his dear protagonist son would take no offense to this, and wouldn't end up slaughtering him for even daring to bump so harshly into him!
Binghe blinked up from where he had fallen to the ground, before popping back up to stand before him, as if nothing had happened, and he bowed at the surprised and bewildered An Ding Peak Lord.
“Shang-shishu! Please help this disciple out! This disciple begs for guidance!”
“W-wha……?”
(A few minutes later...)
“So let me get this straight—your Shen-shibo came over to your Peak to inquire about your well-being.”
“Yes, Shishu.”
“And then talked to you about bettering your cultivation and such, to be a good cultivator, gave you a cultivation manual as well, then left a message with you, stating that you should tell your Shizun that ‘Husband’ requires his presence later?”
“Yes, Shang-shishu.”
“And then he just left like that?”
“Yes, Shang-shishu.”
Shang Qinghua resisted the urge to bang his head on his desk, resisted the urge to stomp over to Cucumber-bro's peak just to strangle him, and resisted the urge to cry.
“....And so you are now here for love advice, because you like both your Shizun and your Shen-shibo, and don't know what to do about it? And Liu-shizhi just…told you to go for both and, ah…squeeze yourself in between their….ah….relationship?”
Shang Qinghua weakly confirmed, looking more and more done with his life. After all, why was he here? What was he, a counselor? A therapist? Why is this his life now?
Binghe nodded.
“And…what, your Ming-shixiong and Ning-shijie were also there….?”
“They were uhm…actually arguing who is better, Shizun or Shen-shibo. But this disciple just…said that he likes both! Which is, well, the truth! They're….all nice.”
Shang Qinghua–aka, Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky, aka, creator of the world of PIDW and technically Luo Binghe's dad–choked on the tea that he was in the middle of drinking, nearly dying a second time.
‘Nice’? Nice?! Those two, nice?! No, they weren't! That's like saying pigs could fly! They teamed up on poor, ol’ him all the time! Just where did his protagonist son got the impression that they were nice?!
Shang Qinghua coughed, and sputtered, accepting some nearby handkerchief from his worried protagonist son.
…Then again, he IS the protagonist! Of course the others will be nicer to him than poor Shang Qinghua!
Shang Qinghua suddenly felt old. He slumped on his cushioned seat, feeling more tired than usual. He's not getting paid enough for this!
“...And what…did those two say? And what else did Liu-shizhi say?”
“They said I should just marry both. Because the more, the merrier. And take the place of the Husband. And oh, as for Liu-shijie….she said I have two hands anyway…? I don’t…know what she's trying to say, but I guess that means I can both hold their hands….?”
Splurt!
Shang Qinghua began to have a coughing fit once more, choking over his tea, wishing he could just die and wither away–but his asshole of a System probably wouldn't allow that!
What were his fellow transmigrators teaching on their peaks?! Why were they like this?! And ‘Husband’?! What Husband, ah?! There was no Husband!
“A-ah, I s-see! I…hahah, you know….if you think they're nice, don't you think the other Peak Lords are also nice? Why not just marry them all? Hahaha~! Don't make that face! Isn't it better to have all the nice people surrounding you be a permanent part of your life and be with you for a long time? Ah–by the way, don't take this too seriously or your Shizun will kill me, okay? It was just a joke!”
An unreadable gleam flickered briefly, before disappearing when Shang Qinghua tried to look more into it, but he dismissed it as just an imagination.
You know what? Shang Qinghua wasn't going to deal with this. He's not paid enough for this. He loves his protagonist, but not enough to deal with this insanity.
….Shang Qinghua decided that he very much wanted to dump this problem on someone else and make his protagonist son their problem! Now, the question is....who pissed him off this month?
Shang Qinghua did a bit of thinking...Ah, right! He has someone in mind!
“See, this Shang-shishu isn't really…well equipped enough for matter like these, you know? Ah, how about this? I write you a letter to Xian Shu Peak Lord, Qi Qingqi? She knows a lot more on this topic! You can go to her for advice! I'm sorry if I wasn't able to help you out….”
“No, no! Shang-shishu helped very much! This disciple learned a lot! Thanking Shang-shishu!”
His earnest and sweet protagonist thanked him, and he gave him a letter, before shooing him off.
….Unbeknownst to Shang Qinghua, he just planted an idea on the future Demon Emperor’s head.