Chapter Text
“Alright!” Ellen and Tony looked directly at the cameras as they started recording again. “We’re back with Tony Stark, and it’s time to play one of my favourite games called 5 Second Rule.”
The crowd went wild.
"My, you’re all so enthusiastic,” Tony winked.
“To be fair, you could probably do anything and they’d love it,” Ellen admitted. “So here’s what’s gonna happen. My good friend and assistant here,” she gestured to the tall man standing between them holding cards, “is gonna ask us to name three things of something, like... three types of cars, or TV shows, and we’ll have five seconds to name them and then hit the big red button.” She demonstrated. “If you do it you get a point. If time runs out you get no points at all,” she looked over at Tony. “Are you prepared?”
“This is meant to be a challenge how, exactly?” he leant against the table with a smirk.
“Oh believe me, five seconds goes very fast,” she warned and gestured to the large screen behind all of them. “The clock will be up there, you can time it yourself.”
“If you say so.”
“Okay I’ll go first, as an example to you, then we’ll take turns.”
When Tony nodded to show he understood, she turned to her assistant who said, “Ellen. Name three things you do in a car.”
“Uh – uhhh -” a timer ticked down around them. “You drive, you park, you – uh, uh, say hello to people,” then she hit the red button and shook her head in dismay at herself.
“Say hello to people?” Tony challenged.
“You do! When you – when you park or when you see someone you know, you might – look, it’s a lot harder than it seems,” she challenged over the laughter of her assistant. “Let’s see if you do better.”
“Yes, let’s see if I can follow your example. Hit me,” Tony turned expectantly to the assistant.
“Tony, name three things you should never do in a car.”
The timer ticked down as Tony said, “Easy. Eat greasy food without washing your hands, drink and have sex.” He hit the red buzzer triumphantly and gave a bow to the cheering audience.
“In that order?” she asked with a grin.
“I like my cars,” he shot back.
“Uh-huh.”
“Okay Ellen, name three shows you binge watch.”
“Uh… uh… Game of Thrones…” she stuttered, the clock kept ticking and then eventually she screamed in frustration just as the timer finished. “Just Game of Thrones? I couldn’t think of anything else to binge watch?” she looked so frustrated at herself.
“So that’s one nil, right?” Tony gestured between them.
“Yeah you – yeah,” Ellen sighed in resignation. “Look, you started with an easy question. Give him his next one!” she turned to her assistant who obliged.
“Name three things you wouldn’t want to do in your Iron-Man suit.”
“What?” Tony stared. The clock started ticking. “Well,” his brain raced. He wouldn’t want? He’d practically done everything already! But he needed - “Sleep sex kill!” he barked out and hit the buzzer just a split second after the timer hit zero.
Ellen looked at him. “I’m not sure which one to address there…”
“Does it count?” he glanced at the person keeping score off the side who gave a thumbs up.
“But he was too late!”
“The Maestro has spoken,” Tony declared “You sure you can actually play this?”
“Ugh…”
The assistant said, “Ellen, name three things that make you cry a river.”
She stuttered, then at three seconds said, “Movies, commercials – animals!” and hit the buzzer. It was a split-second late as well, but the person keeping score allowed it. “I’ll catch up,” she promised.
“I’ll be waiting,” he smiled back.
“Okay, Tony. Name three people you want to go on a road trip with.”
He blinked. “Pepper Rhodey and -” split choice, Happy or Peter? Happy would hate it so probably – “Spider-Man.” He hit the buzzer.
“Spider-Man?” that damn amused smile from earlier returned. He narrowed his eyes, refusing to be embarrassed. It was a logical choice – Pepper would organise the trip, Rhodey would play the responsible adult, if Happy came he’d only bitch whereas the kid would be so excited he’d never sleep.
So… Vision was probably a better choice than them both.
“What can I say?” Tony gave his most charming smile. “The kid’s entertaining.”
“Yes, that’s definitely the reason,” she teased, then turned to her assistant.
“Ellen, name three words to describe Tony.”
“Oh!” she stared, wide-eyed at him. “Uh… uh… funny, um -” the timer ticked mockingly. “Genius, uh – dedicated?” she hit the buzzer just as the timer finished. “Does that- we counting that? Yes!” she grinned.
Tony raised his eyebrows slightly. “Dedicated?”
“Well I just – you always seem to come across that way,” she defended. “To your company, to your fiancé -” she broke off with a shrug. It was one of the nicer things she could have chosen, so he rewarded her with a small but honest smile. She seemed to sense that, by the way her eyes widened, but then he turned to the assistant and gestured for them to go.
“Tony, name three words to describe Ellen.”
He studied her. He’d never really known of her before going on the show, but so far she’d been, “Kind, cheerful, sensitive.” He hit the buzzer.
“Aww,” she smiled sweetly at him. He nodded at her. “Okay one more,” she added to her assistant.
“Ellen, name three different ways to say bye bye bye.”
“Uh…” she paused. “So long – uh, adios – and ciao!” she triumphantly hit the buzzer.
“Tony, name three things made of iron.”
He stared. “Steel or -?” the timer ticked down and he decided it didn’t matter, “Ingots, tablets, irons.” He hit the buzzer.
“Okay, we have to take a break -” she turned to the camera with a smile. Tony raised his eyebrows.
“Wait, who won?”
“It – we – you did,” she admitted, a little reluctant, but then clearly got over it. “Alright everyone give it up for Tony Stark, who didn’t slip up once!” she clapped along with rest of the cheering audience, but her attention was on the camera. “We’ll be back shortly.” Then she turned back to him and said, “We’ll have to have a rematch one day.”
“Swing it by Pepper,” he shrugged. “Hell maybe you can get her on next, who knows?”
“Maybe Spider-Man?” There was a cheeky look in her eyes.
Tony snorted. “Yeah no, that kid’s staying far away from this crap if I have anything to say about it.”