Chapter Text
Langa returns to class half an hour later. Not that Reki acknowledges it much.
He’s kept his face hidden in his arms the moment he sat down at his desk, and he assumes the teacher pities him when he doesn’t give him shit for it for once. He’d felt the stares burning themselves into his skin the entire period and Reki wanted so badly to just itch, itch, itch at his whole body, in hopes of making the horrible feeling go away.
Though, now, everyone’s attention is on Langa, who stands silently by the doorway. The teacher has stopped his writing on the board, any quiet chatter coming to a dead stop. Langa’s eyes flicker through the rows of students, as if daring them to say something. His gaze eventually lands on Reki and his slumped form, stopping there, and they briefly make eye contact.
The older man clears his throat. “You may take your seat, Hasegawa.”
Langa nods, bowing swiftly, and makes his way toward the back of the classroom. He slides into his seat none too gracefully, as if he’s in a rush. The teacher resumes his lecture, the other kids are still staring, but Langa ducks his head and leans over anyway. “You went to the nurse, right?” he whispers.
Reki did not go to the nurse. In fact, he had only gone into a nearby bathroom where he promptly had a panic attack. Thankfully, he’d been alone. So, in short, Reki only feels worse than he did before.
He doesn’t say any of this though. He doesn’t say anything at all, because he knows Langa knows the answer to this question. Reki only watches him tiredly, the upper half of his face visible.
Langa frowns deeper at Reki’s lack of response. His eyes are filled to the brim with worry as they search his face in earnest. Reki appreciates the effort.
The rest of the day continues on like that. Langa sticks close to his side, closer than normal, whenever he can. People still stare and whisper to each other, it’s the only thing they really do, despite the occasional nasty looks or words he overhears. Langa always shoots them a glare that’s enough to shut them up and Reki tries his very best to not let it all get to him.
Do others really think of him so lowly? These were the kids he’d grown up with, he doesn’t understand where the sudden hatred had come from. He thought he could trust them.
Even worse, they think Reki has done something to Yuri. Like he was the one who almost lost his best friend for the third time, like he was the one who’s always shown just how good for nothing he is any time the chance came up, like he was the one who had never felt so lost in all of his short life, like he was the one who almost died—
“Um, excuse me?”
Reki is snapped out of his daze at the sound of a timid voice. He and Langa were at lunch in their usual spot, eating in silence. He could see the other boy tense up in his peripheral vision, like he has been any time someone tries to approach. Ready to fight back again if need be. Reki hated feeling so helpless and he hated that Langa felt the need to protect him.
He glances up at their visitor, eyes squinted as the sun temporarily blinds him. People aren’t usually around here when they are.
“You’re Reki Kyan, right?” It’s a girl, seemingly a first year by her smaller stature and higher pitched voice. She plays with her fingers like she’s nervous about something, her shoulder length brown hair rippling slightly with the wind.
“Is there something you need?” Langa asks bluntly, not leaving the suspicion and warning out of his voice. The girl’s eyes widen and Reki suddenly understands exactly why she looked like she was about to bolt.
“Langa…” Reki says with some exasperation. He turns back to the girl. “Yeah, that’s me. Sorry about him, he’s just being really cautious.” It was sort of endearing, though he’d never admit it.
The girl smiles warmly. “Oh, no, it’s no problem! I get it…” She glances down at the ground. “I, um, I just wanted to tell you that I think those rumors are bullshit.”
A beat of silence. It’s Reki’s turn for his eyes to widen as he and Langa glance at each other in surprise. That was the last thing they’d expected her to say. “You do?”
She nods adamantly, taking a seat on the cement in front of them. She smooths out her skirt as she continues. “Of course. I know how lies like that can be spread like a wildfire. I dealt with something similar in my second year of middle school…” Her face turns slightly pink, whether from shame or embarrassment or a mix of both. “It’s just horrible that others have to go through it too.”
Reki sets his sandwich down, leaning forward. “I’m sorry that happened,” he says honestly.
The girl perks up, face brightening a bit. “Oh, no, it’s alright! It’s in the past.” She tucks some hair behind her ear. “I moved to Okinawa after middle school and I’ve made some really awesome friends, way better ones than where I was before. I practically trust them with my life.” Her face turns an even deeper shade of pink. “Plus, I’ve got a girlfriend now, and…”
“I get that,” Langa says. Reki whips his head around upon hearing the other boy’s voice, only to find Langa is already watching him.
The girl nods. “That’s right, aren’t you a transfer student?” Langa smiles, nodding back. “Anyways, my point is that I’d say you’re extremely lucky to have someone like Langa there for you.”
Reki’s face burns like it did the day before. “We’re not, uh…”
The brunette smiles softly, knowingly. “I know.”
Reki opens his mouth to reply, but his voice quickly dies in his throat. He doesn’t even think he can deny it anymore. “Uh- we didn’t catch your name?” he says instead.
“Oh!” she exclaims. “I’m Tanaka, but everyone calls me Chiyo. I’m a first year, in case you couldn’t tell,” Chiyo chuckles.
“Uh, I’m Langa, but you already knew that…” Langa awkwardly rubs the nape of his neck. “Sorry for seeming so standoff-ish earlier.”
Chiyo waves her hand dismissively. “It’s not a problem, I told you I didn’t mind.”
The conversation carries on all the way through their lunch hour, and soon enough they’re headed back to class. Reki feels a little lighter than he did all day.
“We should go to the skatepark.”
Reki’s leisured steps falter, his brows furrowing. He turns to face the other boy. “Huh? But I thought you said—”
“No, no, I mean,” Langa shakes his head. “Not to skate. Just to… hang out.” He slips his hands into his pockets, keeping his eyes trained on the lone pebble he kicks across the sidewalk they walk on, his eyes staring quizzically into space as he appears to think of something Reki can only guess. The boy was walking Reki home after their post-class studies had ended, relentlessly keeping up his end of the promise. Not that Reki minded. “I think it’d be nice and to— you know, get your mind off of…” Langa glances at the boy alongside him. “Things.”
Ah. The truth comes out.
“Oh,” is all Reki says in response. “I mean, sure. I guess it has been a while since we’ve gone?” His gaze is set back in front of them.
Langa nods wordlessly, still caught up in his own head. He’d seemed distracted in that way ever since their unexpected confrontation with the first year girl. Whenever he got like that, Reki could never tell what he was feeling or thinking, despite his own talent at reading people like a book. It made him feel a little helpless.
They take a detour from their usual route back to Reki’s house, but it’s familiar all the same. All the while, the pair keep up their usual playful banter and stupid remarks (that part mostly on Reki’s behalf), and the redhead basks in the normality of it all. He was almost able to let himself feel like nothing had ever even happened in the first place.
The concrete structures and metal railings materialize as they come closer, exactly the same as they’d left it. No one was there as usual, the way the two teens liked. A warm feeling blooms in Reki’s chest at the sight of it, consuming any of the gross, heavy stuff that had been occupying it all day. Even if the euphoria wouldn’t last forever, he was going to relish it while he could.
Sudden giddiness crashes over him like a tidal wave, and then his feet are moving, hauling Langa along with him when he grasps his hand. The jolt has the blue haired boy yelping in surprise.
“Reki, wait—” Langa nearly trips over the sidewalk. “Be careful!” he shouts indignantly, though he’s smart enough to know that there’s nothing he can do to stamp Reki Kyan’s determination.
The redhead finally slows to a stop on the cement platform, chest heaving, but he doesn’t care. He’s here . He’s back . Reki could cry, he hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed it. If he couldn’t skate, he at least wanted to be back in that kind of environment. Baby steps.
Langa is significantly less out of breath from where he stands to his right. “I don’t think this is exactly what the doctor meant when she said you need to start gaining your strength back…” he huffs. He tries to appear annoyed, but Reki knows he’s just being the worrier he is.
Reki ignores him, turning to peer over at the bay just yards away instead. The hour made the water appear a magnificent, glittering gold under the sun’s rays, light bouncing in every direction. It had always been one of his favorite views (coming in close second with the stars he watched from his roof).
His legs feel like jelly and Langa grips his elbow, not painfully, as he takes one shaky step forward. Maybe breaking into a dead sprint wasn't the best idea after just laying around for weeks. But hey, it’s not the first time he’d acted without thinking, and it definitely won’t be the last.
“Here, let’s sit,” Langa says quietly, gently guiding Reki to sit on the cool cement. It’s none too graceful with his wobbly knees.
They sit side by side, legs crossed. Their knees press together, but neither boy moves. Despite the way his body aches, the warmth is soothing and inviting and they're both just unapologetically there . Just existing together, and it’s times like these that Reki loves the most.
“The ocean’s on fire,” Reki murmurs.
Langa looks at him in question, but Reki keeps his gaze set on the pier. “Hm?”
“It’s a thing my mom would say when I was younger,” he glances down at his shoes and begins to fiddle with the white laces. “She said it made her think of my “fiery personality” and the way my eyes were always the same color as the water.” He uses air quotes, huffing a breathy laugh. “It’s probably one of my only qualities that I ever grew to like because of her.”
“Your eyes are very pretty,” Langa states bluntly, causing the latter to pause his mannerisms and whip his head up to attention. This doesn’t faze Langa though, as he continues. “And you have tons of good qualities.”
Reki’s face is getting gradually hotter and he fumbles for something to say that won’t make him ultimately embarrass himself. “Pff, like what? Being fluent in Japanese?” he teases, trying to play off how rattled he must seem.
Langa gives him a deadpan stare at the mockery, though Reki can tell he’s fighting the urge to smile. They fall into another comfortable silence. Reki thinks it’ll stop there until Langa speaks again.
“Reki, can I tell you something?”
“What’s up?” Reki hums and turns in response to the other boy. He’s got this expression that Reki finds difficult to decipher for once, though he’d thought he had Langa’s expressions fully memorized by now. His features are twisted in a sort of conflicted manner but he also looks kind of… constipated?
Reki lets out a small laugh at the thought. Langa’s face seems to fall and Reki panics momentarily. “What?”
The redhead waves his hand dismissively. “Nothing. What were you saying?”
“Uh, okay…” Langa mutters. Reki notices the way he wrings his hands together slowly, a telltale sign that he’s nervous. “Um…”
Reki frowns. “Is… something wrong?” Why is he nervous?
“No!” Langa shakes his head vehemently. “No, nothing’s wrong. I just—” he drags his hands down his face in exasperation. “Sorry, I’m so bad at this stuff.”
Reki only grows more confused, one eyebrow raised quizzically. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I’m—” Langa sighs, seeming irritated. He repositions his body so he’s facing the other boy at a better angle. “I’ve just been thinking… a lot.”
Reki huffs a breathy laugh. “Yeah, I can tell.” He shuffles his body to mirror Langa’s, but he can feel his own anxiety rising.
Langa smiles, but it doesn’t stick. His mouth opens, he pauses, hesitating. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you this before—or anyone, really.” Langa stares down at his criss-crossed legs. “I mean, I’ve always been terrible with all the feelings and stuff and opening up. But it—it got a lot worse when my dad…” he voice breaks off there. Reki watches him with a pained expression, pitying.
“I barely talked to anyone, unless it was a few words with my mom. I stopped doing the things I loved, and I was just… numb. For a long time.” He takes a breath, and Reki realizes that he’s holding his own. “I’d go day to day not even noticing the difference. And once my mom told me that she thought it would be a good idea to move and have a fresh start, it was like some wake up call.”
“What do you mean?” Reki murmurs gently.
Langa glances up at Reki for the first time since he’d begun talking. His eyes are sad. “That things really weren’t ever gonna go back to normal, you know? That everything was about to change really rapidly and quickly whether I liked it or not.”
I do know, Reki thinks. But he only nods, throat feeling too tight.
“So, we came here, and I was still stuck. I was living underwater. I’d started to let myself believe I would always feel that way, all hollow and empty and hopeless.” He pauses again. “I was wrong, of course,” he says with a ghost of a smile. The pair lock eyes and Reki is entranced by how blue Langa’s eyes look in the orange light, it’s almost devastating. “Because then I met you.”
Reki’s eyes widen to a comical size and he feels his breath stutter.
“You jumped into my life, quite literally,” Langa grabs one of Reki’s hands and gingerly intertwines their fingers. “You taught me everything from skateboarding to learning how to be happy again. It only took me so long to realize it, and once I thought I’d lost you for a second time, I knew—” he rubs his thumb over Reki’s knuckles, feels the ridges through the pad of his finger. “That you’re my happiness, Reki. You were like the sun, and you made me happy , indescribably so.” Langa’s eyes shine with emotion. “You saved my goddamn life, Reki Kyan.”
The burn behind Reki’s eyes is unmistakable and the tears are breaching before he even realizes it. A sob chokes it’s way out of his mouth, face crumbling into a mess of bittersweetness. “And you saved mine.”
Langa brings his hands up to cup Reki’s cheeks, thumbs swiping at the endless stream of tears. He brings their faces close, almost touching. “I’m so glad,” he whispers with a watery smile. “You deserved to know, especially after everything today. You’re worthy of so much, you know that?”
Reki only responds with another whimper, and Langa immediately pulls him into a tight embrace. The younger boy grasps at the back of Langa’s shirt like a lifeline.
“Thank you,” he breathes, words muffled into Langa’s shoulder.
Langa squeezes tighter, reassuring. There. “Thank you .”
Reki pulls back momentarily, to look Langa in the eyes. With a shuddering breath, he takes a leap of faith. “Langa, I like you.” His face feels hot. “Like really really .”
Langa’s cheeks are rosy and he looks bombarded for just a split second before his mouth splits into the biggest smile Reki’s ever seen him wear. He never wants it to fade.
“I like you too, Reki. Really really .”
It's at that moment Reki understands that he is still young, he still has time. And the universe is endless, and somehow, everything will be okay.