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Chapter Text

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Taehyung asked Jungkook while making sure his documents and all he needed were inside his wallet. 

Jungkook looked at him right away. “Of course, it is!” He paused. “Tae. I need a break and it’s my brother’s engagement party. The label was ok when I said I needed one or two weeks by myself. I just finished thirty concerts, I really need a break.” He shifted his gaze back to the backpack on the couch, the one where he was putting his stuff.

“Your brother doesn’t talk to you, Kookie.” Taehyung felt the need to remind the younger one who bit his lower lip. 

“He’s my brother. He won’t hold this grudge forever.” He paused and a melancholy bloomed in his voice. “It’s been four years, maybe he’s ready to talk to me. I don’t know. Anyway, I miss my mom and my friends. I want to go there.” Jungkook smiled weakly. “Besides, Seokjin invited me. I’m sure Namjoon knows. I should go.

“Fine by me, if you know what you’re doing.” 

“I do, Tae. I really do. I appreciate your concern, though.” 

“I’m basically your soulmate, of course, I’m concerned.” Taehyung, then, pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Just so you know, the company already posted that you’re taking some private time for yourself and they told your fans to keep their distance if they get to see you, to respect your privacy.” 

“Ok, thank you.” He zipped up the bag. “Did you get everything?” 

“Can’t we go by car?”

“I thought you liked Harley.” 

“First, it’s stupid how you refer to your motorbike as a living person. Second, the name Harley for a Harley Davidson is not original at all. Three, I do like it and I feel safe when I ride with you but we’re talking about spending, possibly, two weeks there and all we can take is a big backpack.”

“We can buy what we need there… and also there are lots of clothes that I’ve left behind at my mother’s house. We can wear them if needed.”

Taehyung sighed and looked at the clock on the wall.

“It’s almost 5 am. Do you have everything? I’m thinking about leaving in ten minutes.” 

“I do. I packed all my stuff and stuff you forgot to put in your bag. It’s ok, though. That’s why you pay me-“

“You’re not coming with me because you’re my employee. I want you there as a friend!” Jungkook's scowl was displayed and he rolled his eyes. “You’re taking days off as well! If you feel like doing anything else these days, you can always tell me and go after what you want.” 

“I know. I’m just kidding. I’m going because you asked me to be there, as a friend. And because I think we’ll have fun. And because you need me there. Taking care of you is just natural. You’re my best friend, my dongsaeng after all.” 

That made Jungkook smile. That would always make him smile. He was far from home and he did feel lonely a lot so knowing that he had someone like Taehyung by his side was comforting and made things a bit easier. 

“You’ll have fun. My friends are great and Jin knows how to make a party.”

“Did you tell your father that you’re going to Busan?” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“You should, Jungkook. He’s not your mother’s, or your brother’s, biggest fan.”

“I’m 25, Taehyung.”

“I know but he deals with part of your public figure. He needs to know from you. I guess he already saw it on social media but you should give him a heads up.” 

“I’ll leave a message to him.” 

“Great. Do it now. I’m going to get some snacks for us to eat on the road.”

“The ride is not that long!” He exclaimed.

“But we might get hungry!” And just like that, Taehyung went back to the kitchen. He probably wouldn’t get any snacks. He was clearly just giving Jungkook some privacy.

Jungkook sighed and picked up his phone. He sent an audio message to his father. “Hi, dad. Uhm, you might have seen it on the official account, or maybe in the news. I’ll take some weeks to myself. Usually, I’d be at home but I’ll actually go to Busan to see Mom and Joon. He’s getting engaged, you know? I guess he wouldn’t want to hear from you but I think it would be nice if you could get him a gift to congratulate him. Well, yeah, that’s it. See you when I come back.” 

And that was it.

He ended the audio message nervously, biting his lower lip. 

Jungkook’s relationship with his dad was weird and complicated and it felt like a transaction, a work deal. 

Jongho, his dad, divorced his mother when Jungkook was 9 years old. It was terrible because he pretty much left them behind. He didn’t send any money to help with the expenses and his mother had to do it all by herself. 

For the longest time, Jungkook hated him so much. He saw his mother crying way too many times for him to not hate him. She worried about money a lot and they struggled financially until Jungkook and Namjoon could start working. 

When Jungkook turned 16, his father went back to Busan - searching for them as if nothing ever happened. Jungkook and Namjoon were rude and made sure to let him know they didn’t want him there… But he managed to stay at a hotel and force some visits. It was always awkward and terrible but their mother said that they shouldn’t hold grudges, that he was their father even though he was not a good person. 

Namjoon tried hard to make a relationship bloom but as soon as their father found out that Namjoon was part of the LGBT community, identifying as gay at the time, he flipped out. He said terrible things to him and blamed their mother for being too soft on them. It went terribly wrong and Jungkook and Namjoon kicked him out of the house making sure to yell that he was not welcome anymore.

Never again. 

Namjoon was crushed and heartbroken. 

He didn’t show how much that affected him but in the middle of the night, Jungkook heard him crying. They shared a bedroom and the room was really small so he couldn’t prevent Jungkook from hearing it. Jungkook hugged him until he could fall asleep and, once again, he thought about how Namjoon deserved a better life and how Jungkook would easily move mountains to not see his brother like that again. 

But Jungkook was never too good at keeping his promises. 

After a few years, they were still struggling a lot. His mother paid for his studies and when he finally graduated, he simply didn’t find any job related to it. Jungkook was so disappointed and so sad - and so worried. His mother was trying her best to give them a good life and Namjoon was working twice as hard just so they could have something to eat. 

It wasn’t fair.

There was a lot of crying involved, a lot of people involved as well, but Jungkook decided to give his dad a call and ask for a job in Seoul. 

And he managed to get one at the label he was now signed off as a singer. At that time, he worked at the label's coffee station until someone found out he could sing and dance - he sneaked off to the practice room when it was empty  (The lead choreographer liked him a lot and gave him the key so he could use it) The thing was, Jungkook spent a lot of time there - not really wanting to be at home with his dad for longer than necessary. 

Things just happened and soon enough he was already training alongside the other guys. He was already considered a bit old for it but he was so talented that people didn’t really care about it. He debuted when he was 22 with a debut song that simply was catchy enough for people to want to get to know him more and more. 

Jungkook wasn’t able to pinpoint when everything changed and how fast it did but, now, at 25, he was one of the top singers in the country and his solo albums were acclaimed whenever and wherever. 

Jungkook did tours and had lots of fans. Tabloids and paparazzi followed him quite a lot, almost every day - at least when he was in Seoul. 

His dad still worked at the label, he was in the finance department and kept it that way, especially because Jungkook didn’t give him any money whatsoever. He sent a lot of it to his mother back in Busan though. 

His father knew he couldn’t demand a lot, especially because the first thing Jungkook did with his money was buy an apartment so he would no longer live with his dad. 

He wanted to keep things simple, easy and formal. 

That was it. 

He still called him to tell his whereabouts, like now. 

“Ok, are we ready to go?” 

“Yeah, I think so. No stops until we’re there, ok?”

“Ok. I know that. I just asked you to stop once and I don’t know what you wanted me to do. Would it have been better if I had puked on your back?” Taehyung raised his hands in defense. Jungkook chuckled. “Actually, we could stop so I can ride it for-“

“No.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “I know how to ride a motorcycle, Jungkook-ah.” 

“Then go buy your own.” 

“Rude. I’m not a multimillionaire idol.” He paused. “But I will buy one, one day, and I’ll call it Davidson to be just as lame as you.” His best friend finished and looked at his phone while Jungkook laughed out loud.

“You’re dumb. Grab your helmet, let’s go.” 

— x —

“Why do you hate me so much?” Yoongi asked while helping Namjoon put a bow on the gift they would distribute at the engagement party.

It was so silly. A mini swan, made of glass. 

Cute, but silly. 

“What did I do now?” Namjoon looked up at him, after finishing one more bow. 

“I’m supposed to be only the best man on your wedding day and I’m working for the engagement party. On a Sunday morning! Wrapping gooses-“

“Swans.” Namjoon corrected. “And we haven't chosen the best men yet. You know that.”

“Fuck it. Wrapping swans with a tiny bow on a Sunday morning.” 

“Well, you are my best friend. Deal with it.”

“You must hate me so bad.” Yoongi repeated and Namjoon chuckled. “How many people did you invite?” 

“I wanted something simple but Jin went all out. I think maybe there’ll be more than a hundred people at the party.” He said. “Family and friends.” 

“It’ll be a nice party, I’m sure.” 

“I just wish it was a bit more private but that’s fine. Jin wants a big party and it’ll be great.” 

“Do you want a big party?”

“I want what Jin wants. I’m happy if he’s happy with it. I’m sure it will be great. I’m excited about it too. I never imagined myself hosting a big party because I struggled to imagine that I would ever get married to someone.” And he was being totally honest; Yoongi could see that. 

“You and Seokjin are made for each other.” Yoongi stated and Namjoon smiled. “It will be great.” 

“Thanks for helping, hyung.” Namjoon said in a calm voice and Yoongi faked an annoying sound. “Ugh, don’t thank me yet. I might run away and leave these hundreds of ducks-“

“Swans!” 

“As I was saying, I might run away and leave you to do this all by yourself.”

“Yes. Right.” 

“Don’t tempt me.”

Yoongi was kind, generous, liked to take care of others and loved being able to help his friends. 

He liked being useful, liked being active and doing stuff. 

That’s probably why he turned out to be great at doing stuff at home. He was a great handyman and was able to do repairs all over the place. He also still worked with music, producing and writing songs for three labels from Seoul. It was rewarding and he would never stop doing music, that much he knew already. 

He had opportunities to go to Seoul and start over from there, to be there, but Busan was his home and he felt comfortable - and loved - there. 

He lived alone and sent money monthly to his family so he could help with the expenses. He was doing fine on his own and his friends who lived close by helped him a lot daily.

He had a goal of opening a business, where he could put a producing team to work. It was a distant dream but that was what he was aiming for. 

He’s been friends with Namjoon and Jin ever since the first day they met and they were really close. 

But even being that close didn’t make it any less awkward when he asked: “Uhm, Joon. Can I ask you something?” His voice was a little low and he could not look straight at Namjoon’s eyes or else he would lose the courage to do it. 

“Yes, sure. Always.” His friend was too preoccupied with making a tiny purple bow to really notice that Yoongi was kind of shy now. 

“Will Jungkook come?” 

Silence. 

Yoongi expected Namjoon to look at him and get angry about it but he simply showed his annoyance by tightening his jaw while still working with his hands. “No.” 

That was it.

Final. 

“Oh. I guess I thought he would come because, well, he is your brother and you’re about to announce that you and Seokjin are going to get married to hundreds of people and give them glass pigeons on the way out.” He tried to lighten up the mood and to disguise his curiosity. This time, Namjoon didn’t correct him when he tried to twist the bird’s name. 

“He’s not coming. I didn’t invite him.” He said. “Why are you asking? Did you want him to come?” This time, Yoongi was met with Namjoon’s really wide eyes. Surprise all over it. “Oh, hyung-“ and Yoongi could hear pity on those words. 

Too bad.

Too bad the answers to those questions were not that easy. 

“I didn’t. I just wanted to know. Curiosity.” 

Yes, that was it. 

And maybe the fact that Jungkook used to be his boyfriend. 

Actually, he’s been wanting to know if the man was coming or not because he wanted to be mentally prepared. He should be, at least. 

They didn’t end on good terms and during his last visit, they had this revival moment and they ended up in bed once again - a terrible idea. 

“I just wanted to know, that’s all.” He reinforced it when Namjoon’s eyes kept staring at him. 

“I thought you were over it. It’s been years.” 

“I am. But it’s never nice to meet your ex, you know that. I just wanted to know, really, I’m not hung up on it or anything.” 

“Ok.” The younger one let out and shifted his gaze back to the swan in his hands. “If you say so.” 

Jungkook’s story with Yoongi was… Complicated. 

They had a cute start and it was perfect until it wasn’t. Until insecurities and changes got in the way. 

Yoongi shook his head; he would not drown in those memories again. 

He couldn’t.

He had these things to wrap.

“Stupid swans.” 

— x —

“So, Yoongi, I brought you here because I have something to confess and Namjoon can’t know.” Seokjin started like that and Yoongi could feel his own legs shaking. 

Jin asked him to come get some food, saying that he needed to talk about what to wear, and they left Namjoon to finish with the swans. Of course, he thought it was weird because usually Seokjin would never talk about clothes with Yoongi but he said over and over again that he needed Yoongi to help him. 

“Oh, God. What did you do?”

“It’s nothing crazy.”

“What did you do?”

“But it is kind of messy.”

“Hyung-“

“And you also can be a bit angry.”

“What did you do?”

“I, uhm, Jungkook is coming.” He paused. “To the party.” 

Yoongi blinked a few times and tried to digest the information. He was sure Jungkook wouldn’t come at all because Namjoon was very adamant about what he said and he was even a bit annoyed by the fact that Yoongi was asking so… “Why? Did you invite him?”

Seokjin only nodded faintly. “I mean, yes. I did. I miss the kid and it will be good for him to spend some time with us. He’s been working so hard-“

“Hyung…” 

“And Namjoon’s mom also asked me to invite him. She said Namjoon wouldn’t and that I should make sure to invite him. She wanted them together that day and I understood her. As a parent, you want your children together, no matter what. She misses him. And, come on, I miss him too.” He paused. “I bet everyone does. We don’t even know if he’s coming. He is an idol and has a lot to do but the invitation is out.” 

“Namjoon is not going to like this.”

“Or maybe he will. What if they decide to talk?”

“I mentioned his name earlier and Namjoon got all weird. I don’t think he’s ready to talk, or if he’ll ever be.” Seokjin sighed after hearing that. 

It was so exhausting dealing with the brothers’ relationship. Seokjin always tried to make them talk because he knew that both of them were not completely happy and he wanted to help the way he could.

“Namjoon is stubborn. I understand why he’s angry and disappointed at Jungkook but he could hear what his brother has to say.” He sounded defeated. “Well, it’s done. My mother-in-law also asked me to do it. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to say no.” 

“Huh. Are you going to tell him?” 

“Only if Jungkook says that he’s coming; otherwise I think there’s no need to.” Yoongi agreed on that. “And what about you?”

“Me?” Yoongi asked, knowing damn well what Jin wanted to say. “I’m fine.” 

“Really?”

“It’s been years, hyung.” He adjusted his posture. “I don’t know if we’re going to talk at all but, well, it’s been years. I’m over it. I swear.” He repeated what he told Namjoon; not really knowing if it was a defense mechanism or the truth. 

“Mhm.” 

“I don’t care if he’s back or not. He’s important to all of us and we, him and I, we have a past, I know… But I’m more worried about Namjoon.” That was a lie. Not completely, though. Because he, indeed, was worried about Namjoon but he was also really worried about having to see him again. 

It was so stupid. Yoongi had known Jungkook since they were teens and, now, he can’t really manage the idea of looking at him without worrying about the whiplash that might come with it. 

Seokjin only stared at him. 

His friends knew him way too much.

“Of course, it won’t be easy. Our break up…”

“The second one.” Jin pointed it out.

“Yeah, the final one… It was hard on me, on us.” 

Jungkook left to work and it was bad enough but when he came back to visit, they fooled themselves and believed they could be together again. The thing was: they couldn’t. 

The first time they talked about ending stuff hurt a lot but the second time, well, it was way too cruel on both of them. 

“It was not meant to be. I’m happy that he’s happy in Seoul.”

“You haven’t talked to him since that night?” 

“No.” 

“I’m sure that if he decides to come, everything will be fine. It’s been a while since the last time he showed up. We’re all more mature and healed a lot from our past.”

“Are we?” Yoongi chuckled. He was not sure.

“I surely hope so.” Seokjin sighed. “Now, come with me. I was going to buy some food. There’s no way I’m cooking in that apartment. It’s messy as hell.” 

“Do you guys really think I have nothing to do all day?”

“Do you?”

“I do!” He nudged Seokjin’s shoulder. “But I finished the songs early so I could help with the party.” He paused. “I have some repairs to do at that burger place you like. They’re paying good money for me to fix the door but I told them I’d only be able to do it next week.” 

“When we were younger, I’d never imagined that you would get great at fixing stuff.”

“We do learn a thing or two when we don’t have money to buy new stuff, hyung. You probably don’t know how that feels.” Yoongi teased.

“Yah! I do know! I don’t waste money just because I have it.” Jin mumbled the end of the sentence and Yoongi smiled at him. “I’ll make sure to hire you when I need something.” He added.

“I’m sure you won’t need me. Namjoon is pretty good at fixing stuff as well which is really ironic since he’s the one always breaking them in the first place.” 

That took a laugh out of Jin’s mouth. “You’re impossible, Yoongi. And I noticed you changed the subject before but you know I’m here for you, right?” 

“Yes, hyung, thanks.” 

“And I’m sorry to be the one telling you this but Jungkook is hotter than before-“

“Hyung!” Yoongi rolled his eyes. “I know! I have social media and he’s all over the place.” He whined. “But, please, let’s not talk about this anymore.” 

“Ok, ok. Let’s go. Namjoon might be hungry. I know I am.” 

“I really hope they have some whiskey.”

“It’s lunchtime!”

“Whatever.”

— x —

It took them some hours but Jungkook and Taehyung made it to Busan without stopping, not even once. 

It was better that way; Jungkook didn’t want to risk meeting people on the way and being followed. Of course, his fans knew he was from Busan and they would wonder if Jungkook went home or abroad but he would do anything to keep his privacy and try to be a little more discreet. 

The last time he went on vacation, he went to Paris with Taehyung and people followed him even in the few clubs they went to. He hated it so much. He loved meeting his fans and loved the attention, the support and all the love he received back but he was just 25 and, sometimes, in his vacation days especially, he’d like to spend being ordinary. He was very happy with his life and very thankful but he couldn’t help but wonder how different it would be if he was anonymous again. 

The lack of privacy always made him mad and frustrated. 

He couldn’t go to nightclubs; couldn’t really go anywhere because people were always watching: sasaengs, paparazzi… There were days when he found people literally waiting for him outside his apartment. 

It was also scary as well.

That’s exactly the reason why he usually would end up on chill nights (with or without alcohol) in some friends’ houses or even being the host of a get-together. 

And dating was not really something Jungkook would do. The media, the fans, the company and his dad didn’t know he was bisexual. He made sure to hide it because being openly LGBTQIA+ in Korea was not that easy. He didn’t want to be labeled - or targeted. He just wanted to live freely - as free as he could. 

In front of his friends, he could be as free as he wanted. He dated only two guys after going to Seoul, after his break up was official. 

It’s been a year since he last kissed anyone.

But he endured it because he was living the dream, being able to do something he truly enjoyed and to give his family the comfortable life they deserved. 

But some days were harder than others. Jungkook liked touching and skinship - with people he trusted - so you could say that it was hard for him to not be able to do it as much as he wanted. 

There was a time when he and Taehyung were too drunk and ended up making out on Jungkook’s bed. They were both feeling lonely - and needy. 

But it was just that time; Taehyung was already his best friend at the time and Jungkook trusted him with his life. They talked and they were fine. 

Nothing ever happened again and they lightly flirted every now and then because they were comfortable doing it, but it was very clear that they didn’t see each other as more than a friend. 

“Are we staying here or going to a hotel later?” Taehyung asked after putting down the helmet he was wearing. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know if there are guests here already. We’ll have to see.” 

“Alright-“

“Jungkookie!” A voice resonated, coming from the door of the green house. It was his mother. 

Jungkook held back the urge to cry right then and there and rushed to get close to her. She opened the house gate and hugged him as soon as she could. 

Jungkook was smiling widely and tightened the hug. 

“Hello, mom. I missed you so much.” 

“I missed you too. It’s been more than a year… I haven’t seen you in so long!” She put some distance between them and cupped his face. “My beautiful boy. I only get to see you on TV and screens. I missed you. I love you.” And then she placed kisses all over his face. “You have to come home more often!” She added and he smiled.

“I’ll try. I’m just… Busy.” 

“I know that. And I’m so proud of you but I worry a lot, you know? You’re a grown up but I’m always worried.” 

“You have nothing to worry about, I promise.”

“Oh! I didn’t see you there!” His mother took a step back as soon as she saw Taehyung standing near the motorcycle. He bowed and greeted her:

“Hello, Mrs. Jeon. It’s great to finally meet you. I’m Taehyung. Kim Taehyung.” He bowed again. 

She greeted him back and looked at Jungkook. “You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend-“

“Oh, no! No!” They both chuckled. “He’s not my boyfriend. Tae is my best friend and he also works with me… He’s kind of my assistant?” He tried to explain. “But he’s not working right now. I invited him, I hope it’s not a problem.”

“I don’t want to intrude. I came but I can busy myself with other stuff. I’m sure Busan has lots of things to do.” Taehyung started.

“Nonsense.” She said. “It’s great that you came with him. I’m happy to see that Jungkook has a friend in that company, in that city.” She smiled. “Come inside, I made a lot of food and it’s almost lunchtime. 

— x — 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” His mother asked while washing the dishes. Jungkook was helping her dry them while Taehyung went outside to take a phone call from work - which Jungkook greatly disapproved of since they were taking days off -.

“I assumed you knew? I mean, I was invited and Jin-hyung asked me to be here a few days earlier… I didn’t think I needed to- Is there a problem?” He asked, a bit confused. His mother never asked him to let her know when he would show up.

Ok, It’s been a while since the last time he went there.

“Of course, not! I just wished you would’ve told me. I didn’t organize the rooms and I didn’t make your favorite today-“

“Mom, everything's perfect. Don’t worry about it, really.”

“You can stay in your room and Taehyung-ssi can use the guest one.” She paused. “Unless…” She looked at Jungkook, inquisitive. Jungkook rolled his eyes; he knew it was coming.

“Mom, we’re not dating. I promise you. We’re just friends.” He assured her for the nth time already. “I don’t really have time for dating, nor do I want to. I told you that.” 

“You’re young. You’re allowed to fall in love.” 

“Been there, done that. Didn’t end well.”

“Jungkook-“

“Mom, please, don’t. Things are going great for me at work and I’m just focusing on that, huh?” He paused and thought about a way to change the topic of their conversation. “And you should stop calling it my room. I never used it here-“ And it was true, Jungkook didn’t live in this house. He bought it not long ago and Namjoon and his mom were the only ones who actually lived here.

“It’s our house, baby, you’ll always have your room. Your own space. If someday you decide to leave it all behind, you have a home, and a room, to go to.” 

Jungkook placed a tiny kiss on her forehead. “I know what you mean, thanks, but my life is in Seoul now. I really love what I do, mom. I’m good at it and people seem to like it.”

“But you have to be careful and you can’t fully be yourself, huh?” She sounded worried. “I’m really proud of you, you know that. I’m not saying that your lifestyle is bad. You know what you’re doing, but it worries me that you have to keep this mask on for so long.” 

“I’m fine. Really.”

“Promise me you’ll tell me if things get hard. I’m always here, you know that, right?”

“Of course, I do. Thank you, mom. Really” Jungkook tried to stop that talk but his mother kept going.

“I’ll always worry. Namjoon lives close by and is older than you and I still worry about him too.” That made Jungkook laugh. “And, uhm, speaking of him. Does he know you’re here?” 

“Not yet. I came straight here, remember? I might text him and Jin-hyung to meet-“ He mumbled those words. It was still surreal for him that, after so long, Namjoon was willing to talk and invite him to his engagement party. Jungkook interrupted his sentence when he saw his mother a little unsure. “What?”

“I’m 90% sure your brother doesn’t know that Jin invited you.” 

“What?” He asked in a low tone of voice. “What are you saying?”

“Listen, Jinnie wanted to invite you and he was sure Namjoon would not agree, so he asked me what to do and I also told him that I wanted to see you… He decided to invite you without telling Joonie. I know that because we were together in this same kitchen when he did it.”

“Mom!”

Jungkook felt like someone had just punched him. 

When he received the invitation, he thought it was weird and he talked exclusively with Seokjin but he believed that his brother knew about it. 

Better than that, he thought Namjoon was ready to talk to him again. 

Knowing that he was not aware of it and that he probably still hates Jungkook made his stomach churn. 

“I can’t believe this.” He said after putting the dishcloth over his shoulder. “Why would you do that? I shouldn’t be here-“

“Yes, you should!” His mother argued. Jungkook shook his head. “I missed you and I’m sure your brother misses you too!”

“Mom, he hates me!” Jungkook tried to remain calm but his voice was loud enough to make himself flinch at it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just- I can’t stay, mom. How am I supposed to show up to their engagement party? I can’t.” 

The look of complete sadness that took over her face made Jungkook’s heart clench. 

His relationship with his brother was hard and already broken but it wasn’t always like that. 

When their father left them, Namjoon, at age 11, tried to be the man of the house . Their mom had to work a lot and Namjoon had to grow up way too fast so Jungkook could still enjoy his childhood. 

The younger one had great memories of their time together as children and even when they were teens, they had each other's backs in any situation. 

Namjoon taught Jungkook everything and sacrificed a lot of his time and happiness just to be there for Jungkook, so it was only understandable that he wasn’t thrilled with the fact that Jungkook decided he would live in Seoul, with the guy who left them and mistreated him, just because he wanted more. 

Jungkook remembers that talk clearly, trying to explain that he was only going to Seoul so he could work and send more money to them.

“You can work here! You just graduated, Kookie! Give it time! You’ll find something.” , he had said. Namjoon said that he didn’t want Jungkook near that man. That it was dangerous and it would be too humiliating but, when he found out that Jungkook had already contacted their father, asking him to help him find a job there, Namjoon didn’t take it lightly. 

He was mad.

Really mad.

Jungkook had already seen Namjoon angry but it was never towards him. His brother usually protected him but, that night, the younger one could see how fiercely Namjoon would fight. It was expected, really. The man had dealt with a lot even though he was only 24 at the time.

And Jungkook knew where he was coming from but he was young and frustrated so he said that Namjoon was being selfish… And that’s when he saw fire in Namjoon’s eyes.

Actually, thinking about it later, Jungkook realized that he wasn’t being selfish at all. He was overprotective and felt betrayed.

Jungkook had come out as a bisexual not that long before; Namjoon wanted to protect him from his father and Jungkook could see it now. 

He wanted to protect his younger brother from his father’s words, lack of care and rudeness. Especially because Namjoon himself had experienced it, the rejection and cruel words from his father when he told him that he was gay.

“I should call Jin-hyung and tell him that I’m here but I’m not staying.”

“Son… I’m sure your brother will be happy that you’re here.”

And Jungkook wanted to stay, damn, he took weeks off to be around his family and friends - but he didn’t want to ruin Namjoon’s day. 

“I- I don’t know.” He sighed. 

“I’ll let you think about it but can you stay? At least for today?” 

Jungkook couldn’t say no to that - and he didn’t want to. 

“Of course, but I can’t promise to stay until the weekend.”

His mother finished washing a glass and turned around so she could take a really good look at him. 

“Let’s not worry about it right now, ok?” Jungkook nodded and pressed another kiss on her forehead. “There’s another thing-“

“Oh, God. What now?”

“I mean, you probably know by now that Min Yoongi will be there, right?” Jungkook blinked a few times. It’s been a really long time since he last heard that name. He thought about Yoongi a lot, often enough to make him embarrassed about it, but in Seoul no one knew about him. Not even Taehyung.

“I expected that, yes. He’s Hyung's best friend.” Jungkook said, his own words tasting a bit bitter. “Is he doing well?” He asked and his mother smiled, knowingly. 

“He is… But I think you should ask him yourself.” 

“He’s another person that doesn’t want to see me, mom. We stopped talking since, uhm, since the last time I came to Busan.”

His mother frowned at that. “Oh.” 

“We, uhm, we talked at that time. It didn’t end well. Well, it was over when I decided to move out so, yeah.” Jungkook bit his lower lip. A lot had happened between him and Yoongi but his mother didn’t need to know all the details. 

And he didn’t really want to remember it but Busan screamed and it was his past that it was yelling.

— x —

Taehyung was helping Jungkook with the rooms, changing sheets and all, when he said: 

“So we are not staying.” 

It was not a question. 

“I don’t know. I mean, why would I?”

“You were invited, Kookie. Your brother-in-law invited you. He wants you here and, who knows, maybe your brother does too.” Jungkook shifted his gaze to the pillow in his hands. 

“I’ll call Jin-hyung.” 

“That’s good.” 

“Who were you talking to earlier?”

“A few magazines were reaching out to me asking about your time off.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “They wanted to know where you were and what you were doing. I didn’t say anything, of course, but called the company to let them know people are already after you.”

“Just great.” 

“Your fans are chill, though. A lot of them are happy that you’re finally taking time for yourself.” That made Jungkook smile. His fans were an important part of his career. He could never thank them enough. 

“That’s good to know.”

“Yeah…” Taehyung put the pillow in his hand over the bed. “Jungkook, can I ask you something?” 

That piqued the younger one’s attention. Taehyung, most of the time, didn’t beat around the bush a lot. He usually just says what he wants to say whether Jungkook likes it or not. 

“Yeah, sure?”

“Who is Yoongi?” Jungkook shot up a look at Taehyung. 

“What?”

“I’m sorry. Earlier when I finished the call I was going to help out in the kitchen but you were talking about your brother and I didn’t want to intrude… And then Yoongi was mentioned.”

Oh, God. 

“He’s my ex.”

Taehyung widened his eyes and stared at Jungkook for a while. 

“Like… Ex-boyfriend?” 

“Yes”

“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend in Busan. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend at all.” 

“What do you mean? I’ve dated Yugyeom and JunHo.” 

“You were not boyfriends. You kissed one and hooked up with the other. That was pent-up sexual tension, not a relationship.”

Jungkook shrugged at that. “Well, now you know.”

“Why did you never tell me?”

“It’s in the past, Tae.”

“Jeon Jungkook.”

“What?”

“Tell me.”

“There is nothing to tell. I moved out. We broke up. The end.” 

“Why do you sound bitter?”

“It didn’t end well.” 

“Huh.” Tae huffed. “And you’re going to see him.”

“I guess?”

“Do I need to punch him?” Jungkook shook his head fast. 

“No!” 

“You said it didn’t end well. I assumed he was a jerk-“

“I moved out. We had a… Thing… when I came back to visit and we broke up for real. A revival moment and then we crushed everything. Terrible.”

Taehyung waited for more but Jungkook could only offer silence. He didn’t want to dwell on it much - even if he couldn’t stop thinking about it. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s ok. It’s been years. I think we might be ok by now.”

“I want to see him, come on, show me pictures of him.” Jungkook chuckled at that. He was thankful that Tae tried to lighten up the mood. 

“Why do you think I have pictures of him? He’s my ex, Taehyung.” 

Taehyung crossed his arms and he got a bit closer. “Don’t you? Really?” 

Of course he had. Jungkook didn’t gather up the courage to delete them. 

“I may have one or two.” Taehyung smiled widely.

“I knew it!”

“Ugh. Alright.”

Jungkook picked up his phone from his pocket and searched for the album he made with photos of them together. It’s been months since the last time he opened it. He knew what he would find there and he felt all those emotions bubbling up once again. 

He saw the first picture. The oldest one. Yoongi and Jungkook were holding hands shyly and a shy smile on both of their faces. Jungkook stretched his hand and gave the phone to Taehyung. 

“Is it really ok if I see it?” The blonde asked softly. “If you saved it, it must be special, huh?”

“Don’t just assume things, I have photos with everyone.” 

“Uhm…” Taehyung, then, grabbed the phone and started looking. “He’s cute.” He said after scrolling and Jungkook could see how he was restraining himself from talking; he was being cautious. “His name is Min Yoongi, right?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook couldn’t just stand there and watch Taehyung analyze all of those pictures; They hold way too much meaning for him.

Jungkook got back on making the bed and putting the old sheets away when Tae exclaimed:

“Damn it. Of course, his instagram is going to be private.” 

“Taehyung!”

“What?! I just wanted to see an updated picture. He is indeed pretty cute.” He added and gave the phone back to Jungkook. “Why don’t you delete those?”

“I just said it. I have photos of everyone. Don’t know. I just like keeping them.”

“Do you have any pictures with Junho? Or Yugyeom?”

“Not with Junho, no. We were way too careful about it. Yugyeom hangs out with me and the others from time to time so, yes, of course.”

“O-kay.”

“Tae, I mean it. It’s not like that. Yoongi and I, we are over. That’s it. You’ll meet him eventually, if we stay, and if you do please don’t embarrass me.”

“I would never.” Jungkook side-eyed him at that. “I mean, I totally would! But I can see you really mean it so, of course, I wouldn’t.”

“Thank you. Now, come, let’s do this quickly. I want to see some of my friends, introduce you to them.”

– x –

“Ok. Fine. Cool. Cool. Cool. Jeon Jungkook is standing right in front of me. Cool.”

“Hobi, please, calm down!” Jimin exclaimed and Jungkook couldn’t hold back his laughter. “And you knew I was his friend, why are you so surprised?”

“It’s really nice to meet you, Hoseok-ssi.” Jungkook bowed a little and Hoseok was clearly starstruck.

“It’s really nice to meet you too!” He looked at Jimin. “Why didn’t you tell me I would meet him today, I was not ready!”

“I didn’t know!” Jimin then, finally, looked at Jungkook. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I managed to take some days off and got on the road. This is Taehyung, by the way.” Jungkook introduced his friend who smiled widely at them - especially at Hoseok. Jimin noticed it too and looked back at Jungkook. 

“Hello. It’s really nice to meet you.” Taehyung’s eyes were fixed on Hoseok when he said that and then he shifted a bit and looked at Jimin. “Jimin-ssi, I heard a lot about you. Jungkook talks about you quite a lot, you know?”

“Is that right?”

“Taehyung lies quite a lot, don’t trust him.”

“I don’t!” He argued. “I mean it, Jimin-ssi. He’s quite fond of everyone he loves here in Busan.”

“Ok. Alright. No more of that.” Jungkook said and Jimin laughed. His laughter was so contagious that everyone laughed along. Hoseok’s laughter was louder than everyone’s.

And that’s when Jimin finally launched himself to hug his best friend. Jungkook missed hugs and missed his friends and family so much. 

That hug lasted too little. He wanted to hug for more time. 

“I’m really glad that you’re here, Kookie. You’ve been working non-stop for months now. I’m sorry I couldn’t go to any of your concerts from the last tour. I was just so busy with Hobi. We, uhm, I guess I didn’t tell you, but we opened a dance academy? I guess? It’s still really small and we have only a few students. Hobi here still teaches in another school to help with income but, yeah, I think it will work out.” 

Jungkook looked at him, so proud. “Hyung! Why didn’t you tell me?!” 

“I guess I was so caught up in the moment? It’s been only a couple of months and there is tons of work to do.” Jimin said and shared a look with Hoseok who just nodded. They looked stunning together. Jimin was sporting honey blond hair and Hoseok had some blond strands in his brown hair. They were hip.

“Yeah, managing is not that easy.” Hobi added.

“If you’d like, I could help with a thing or two?” Taehyung asked directly at Hobi. “This is exactly what I do, actually. I’m Jungkook’s babysitter and conscience but I also majored in business and management.”

“You’re not my babysitter. I don’t need a babysitter.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “And, yeah, hyung! Taehyung is really great! We don’t have much time here in Busan but I’m sure he could help you with a thing or two.”

“Oh, no. You’re on vacation, both of you. You just said that you didn’t want to think about work.” Jimin shifted a bit; this time he was looking at Tae.

“I promise, it’s ok. If you want my help, just let me know. I’ll gladly do it.” Taehyung’s big smile was so kind and he was genuinely trying to help. His heart was way too big sometimes. Hoseok seemed impressed by his sudden offer - and thankful; Jimin bit his lower lip while looking at their interactions; he looked excited but not that excited. 

“We can talk more about it another day? Maybe tomorrow?”

“Great.” Taehyung agreed. “I’m going to grab a drink. Do you guys want something?” 

“A beer for me is fine, Tae.” Jungkook said.

“I’ll go with you!” Hoseok promoted and Jimin blinked a few times, clearly wondering if he should go as well. He looked conflicted.

“Wine for you, Jiminie?” He asked and Jimin nodded after sighing. 

“Yes, please.”

“I’ll be right back.” Hoseok said close to Jimin’s ear and Jungkook didn’t fail to notice the reddish on his cheeks. 

The younger one waited a few seconds and made sure that Taehyung and Hoseok were not close when he asked:

“So… How long?” Jungkook asked and Jimin frowned. His eyes followed the other two at the bar.

“How long? What? The business? I just told you, a couple of months. I have some pictures but I took them before the renovation.” Jimin finally looked at Jungkook to answer.

“No, hyung, how long have you been completely and utterly in love with Hoseok-ssi?”

And that seemed to pick his attention enough for him to really pay attention to what he was saying. “W-what are you talking about? What? No!” The blonde one stuttered and his voice was high-pitched enough to sound suspicious.

“Hyung…” 

“I mean it, we-“

“Taehyung clearly took an interest in him and you’re telling me you’re not affected at all? You just shoot daggers at Tae with your eyes!”

“What? I did not!”

“You did!” Jungkook shifted his position a little and looked at the bar once again. Taehyung was laughing at something Hoseok was saying and they looked cute together. It was the first time Jungkook saw Tae being kind of shy near someone. “He seems like a good guy. Hoseok-ssi.”

“I’m not in love with him.” Jimin stated in a serious tone but Jungkook knew his best friend well enough. He didn’t want to pressure him but he could see it.

“If you say so, I believe you.”

“And, besides, Hoseok is clearly having fun with Taehyung-ssi. I’d hate to get in the middle of that .” Jimin sulked and stopped talking when he saw both men getting back to the table.

Taehyung placed Jungkook’s beer and his cocktail over the table and Hoseok did the same, putting down his red funny cocktail and Jimin’s white wine. 

“Here it is, Minie.” 

“Thank you, Hobi-hyung.” 

“I was just asking Jimin how did you two meet.” Jungkook lied and Hoseok smiled widely. 

“I love that story! Did Jimin tell you he got drunk that night? He always forgets to tell this part.”

“I did not!” Jimin denied it vehemently. 

“He didn’t tell me that part.”

“Ugh, I’ll tell you. Jimin broke up with his boyfriend-“

“Not my boyfriend.” He rolled his eyes.

“Ok, he broke up with his situationship or whatever and went out to dance with some friends. Friends we have in common. I found him on the dance floor being the most absolutely beautiful man ever but, as soon as he started drinking, he started getting sad. The next time I saw him, he was crying outside the club and it was so cinematic and so dramatic.”

“Oh, God.” Jimin said and Jungkook chuckled. He was really invested. “The guy was not even that important, I just got sad.”

“Well, I found him outside and he was so sad. He recognized me and asked if I was going home. I said yes and he said that he would come with me. At first, I thought he was joking because we barely knew each other… Well, he was not. He really went to my place and I was scared he was thinking about,  you know… There was no mood for it. He didn’t. He genuinely asked me to distract him, to put on a movie so we could watch it while talking trash. It was so fun!” Hoseok’s eyes were shining so bright. Jungkook wondered if Hoseok also was into Jimin. “He got drunk on wine and passed out on my couch.” 

“When we woke up the next day it was like we were already friends for years… And then I found out he already knew Yoongi-hyung and Namjoon-hyung.”

“Oh, wow.” 

“Right? It was meant to be. I was supposed to meet Jimin that night. I’m sure.” Jungkook nodded at that and Jimin was a blushing mess near the older one. 

“Hyung believes in destiny, in fate. I’m not that keen on that stuff.” Jimin grimaced and Hoseok nudged his shoulder.

“I believe too!” Taehyung exclaimed and it was true, he really did believe in fate, destiny, zodiac signs, prophecies, everything. 

“See? We’re not all skeptical like you, Jiminie.” 

“I don’t know if I believe it or not but there are things that can’t be only coincidence, right?”

“See!” Hoseok pointed to Jungkook, happiness all over his face. 

“Tell me, Hoseok-ssi, what’s your zodiac sign?” Taehyung asked and drank a bit. 

“ Hyung. ” He corrected Taehyung, who looked a bit confused. “You can call me hyung .” 

Taehyung widened his eyes and felt warm all over. “Alright, hyung.” He said and stared right at Hoseok’s eyes. 

Jungkook saw the scene unfold in front of him and, again, it’s been a while since he saw Taehyung that invested in someone right up from the start. It was clear that Tae was a charming man but he was shooting his shot - and it seemed to be working. 

Jungkook would feel giddy about it in any other circumstances. At that moment, he got a bit worried because of Jimin who sighed and had a smile stamped on his face trying to blend into the conversation.

— x —

“Have you seen Namjoon yet?” Hoseok asked.

“Not yet. Don’t know if he wants to see me, for that matter.”

“What do you mean?” 

“We don’t get along that well.” Jungkook replied and Hoseok frowned at that. He shifted his gaze to Jimin. 

“Really? I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t talk about you a lot but in the few times he did, he sounded a bit proud.” 

“Hobi…” Jimin warned him. 

Jungkook could understand that. It was a sensitive topic between their group of friends. 

“Uhm, I don’t know about that.” He said and drank more of his beer. 

“And what about the others? Jin-hyung?” 

“Yoongi-hyung?” That was Jimin’s voice and he sounded really curious. 

“I texted Jin-hyung but I don’t know if he’s seen it yet. He didn’t reply.” He looked at Jimin. “And, no, I haven’t talked to Yoongi since that day.” He said simply and he couldn’t fail to notice the looks Taehyung and Hoseok shared. 

Jungkook was a bit surprised, to be honest. 

He never told Taehyung about his relationship with Yoongi. Right. He just mentioned it briefly a few hours ago.

But he thought Hoseok would know about it, especially after they said that Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin and Namjoon were really close.

“Why do I feel there’s gossip in that sentence?” Hoseok asked Jimin who chuckled lightly.

“I mean, there kind of is.” Jimin said and he looked at Jungkook. 

“We dated. We broke up.” That seemed to surprise Hoseok a lot. 

“What?! So you’re the ex!” Hoseok exclaimed way too loudly. Jimin tried covering his mouth, shushing him. They didn’t want to bring much attention to Jungkook. People didn’t recognize him yet - or the ones who did were trying to give him his privacy. “Sorry.” He whisper-yelled. 

“I can’t believe you’re Hyung's ex! He mentions you quite a lot-“

“Hoseok!” And that was when he realized he was spilling some tea.

“No, I want to know!” Jungkook argued and, this time, Jimin rolled his eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t expose my best friend like that.” 

“You were about to!” 

“Not anymore. Sorry.” 

“So… You guys broke up and never spoke to each other again?” Taehyung asked.

“Yes. Kind of.” 

“Kind of? Why are you being so secretive?” Taehyung asked. 

“We’re not talking about this here. I’m sorry. Let’s talk about anything else, please.” He pleaded and the others nodded. They could all understand that talking about an ex-boyfriend in an open place could cause trouble; people could overhear them.

“Are you staying for the wedding?”

“Don’t know yet.” He shrugged and finished his drink. “Seokjin invited me but apparently Namjoon doesn’t know and I’m not here to mess up with his day. It is his party. Theirs.” He paused. “I’ll try talking to them today or tomorrow and we’ll see.” 

“If you want me to be there…” Jimin offered.

“Thank you, hyung.” 

“Now, tell me, how was touring? What’s new in Seoul?” Jungkook smiled at that. 

He needed that.

Easy conversation.

— x — 

Yoongi was organizing the table when Namjoon looked up from his phone and said: 

“Hyung, mom is asking me to go there.”

“Is everything ok?” Seokjin asked, stopping what he was doing: writing thank you notes for the people who would go to their party. 

“She said that everything’s fine but she has something important to tell me.” He was reading and texting back while talking. 

“Do you want me to go with you?” Jin asked but Namjoon shook his head. 

“No need to. You’re busy with all these notes and I’m sure everything’s fine. I’ll be back quickly, I promise.” He stood up and his eyes were still glued to the phone. “I’ll grab my bike.” 

Yoongi looked at him. “We finished the ducks, right?” 

“ Swans. Yeah, now Jin is writing the notes and I’ll sign it too later, when I get back.” He paused. “We have to write a few more things to put over the tables but I think the majority is done. Why?” 

“I’ll take you there. I have my car outside.” 

“No, hyung. I can go by bike. It’s close. We live literally four blocks down-“

“But it will take you longer and it’s fucking Sunday, Namjoon. You should rest a bit today as well.” 

“Yes, he’s right, love.” Jin said. “Go with Yoongi. This way you can get there faster. What if it’s something serious?”

“If it were serious, she would’ve called me. My family… We call on emergencies.” Namjoon put his keys in his pocket. “I’ll go with you. But what about you resting a bit? As you said, it’s Sunday.” 

“Joon-ah, I told you, I made my schedule clear so I could help out with the wedding. I’m all yours this week… And I’m also really happy for you two so I’ll make myself available to drive you up and down around town if you need me to. Only this week.”

That made the couple laugh. 

“You’re too soft on Namjoon.” Jin pointed out with a smile.

“I’m soft because you two are getting engaged and I want to be remembered when you guys choose a best man.” 

“Yoongi, we appreciate all your help but you don’t have to-”

“I know. I’m offering. Let’s go.” He concluded and Namjoon realized it was useless trying to talk.

“Text me!” Seokjin yelled before they left the apartment.

— x —

Jimin and Hoseok went home when the clock hit 7 pm - after Taehyung successfully got Hoseok’s number.

Jungkook and the guys spent quite a lot of time talking in that bar and no one seemed to notice that Jeon Jungkook was sitting there. He was happy that he could enjoy an outing with his friends - and act like an ordinary person.

“Hyung, I want to walk for a bit.” Jungkook said and adjusted his black hat. He could sense Taehyung’s hesitation. “What?”

“Don’t know if this is a good idea, huh? Inside the bar was ok. Here, outside, we can bump into some of your fans.”

Jungkook knew he was right.

“You’re right.” He paused. “But I want to. Please.”

“Jungkookie, we don’t have bodyguards with us-“

“ Please .”

Taehyung looked at the time and agreed, finally. 

“Alright, but if we bump into any fan, we’re going home. People tend to call other people and it can get messy, crowded. You hate crowds.” 

He did hate crowds. Once, in the airport, things got really messy, as Taehyung would say and a huge crowd waited for him. He had just got out of a really long flight and the bodyguards weren’t enough to contain the fans. He got really scared and when he made it inside the car after being literally pushed by his team, he couldn’t breathe properly. He had a panic attack and cried without even noticing. Definitely not a fan of crowds anymore.

“Alright. Ok.” He quickly agreed and they continued walking, passing by the street they were supposed to go to get to Jungkook’s house. 

“I have lots of questions for you.” Jungkook looked at him. “Don’t look at me like that! You never told me about your relationships in Busan - I guess I assumed you’ve never had anyone here.”

“Of course, you’d assume that.”

“You never talked about it. Actually, you barely talk about Busan at all.” 

“I… it’s true. I don’t know. Everybody has a place that knows them a little too well. A place they are desperate to leave behind but that is also a place that comforts us. Busan is like that for me. It’s weird, even hating it, something in me loves it so.” 

“Were you?”

“Huh?”

“Desperate to leave?”

“We didn’t have what to eat, Tae. I wanted to leave it all behind so I could go after a better life. I love a lot of things about this city and I love the people a lot but I needed money. My family needed money.”  Taehyung nodded at that; he heard that story more than once. “I know it might seem like I’m ungrateful or that I was running away-“

“I don’t think that.” Taehyung interrupted him. “Never thought of you like that, you know?” 

“Yoongi said that I was running away. Namjoon-hyung too.”

“They were probably hurt that you were leaving.” 

“Yeah, maybe.” 

“I do want to know more about him, you know? But not out here.” 

“Alright.”

“Why did you never tell me?” Jungkook only shrugged.

“Don’t know. Guess I didn’t want to talk about it.” He looked at Tae. “But I’m glad that you know now; that I can talk about it with you too.” 

“I’m happy about it as well.” 

“And… Hoseok?” The name was enough to make Taehyung blush. “What?”

“He’s cute, right?”

“You’re really interested!” 

“I kind of am. I mean, I’m sorry, I know we are not here for this but I just felt- I mean, Jimin is really nice! I’m really happy to finally meet him and I’m happy that you got to see your best friend but I just… Hoseok is something else. He’s really polite, funny and I’m not hallucinating, I think he was flirting with me as well.”

“Tae, it’s fine. You can do whatever you want to.” The older one smiled a lot at that. 

“And how was seeing Jimin after so long?” 

“We talk often, actually. Of course, I missed him but, gladly, we text quite a lot - when I do have the time.” Jungkook looked at Taehyung. “I talk quite often to Jin-hyung as well. To know how everyone’s doing.” He paused. “I mean, I do have just a little time but I try to keep in contact with everyone… And with my fans.” 

Taehyung got closer to Jungkook and shook his shoulder. “You’re almost a superhuman, you know that?” Jungkook shook his head. “Do you want to go to the beach?” 

“No, not yet. I do want to go but not today.” 

“Ok.”

They walked for a few minutes and Taehyung suggested they go home. 

Jungkook agreed. He wasn’t hungry enough to have dinner but he wanted to spend some more time with his mother. He missed her a lot and being near her made him feel safe, made him feel like he never left at all. 

Don’t get Jungkook wrong, he loved his life and his fans - and even the fame - but whenever he was reminded of how simple his life could be, he got a little nostalgic. 

They walked calmly and Jungkook noticed a blue car outside the house but didn’t pay too much attention to it. 

He should have.

Maybe if he had paid more attention to it, he would have at least prepared himself to meet some guests.

“Jungkook-ah?” That was it. That was enough to take his breath away, to freeze him in place. 

He hadn’t heard that voice for so long.

Too long.

It was Yoongi. 

Jungkook’s brain short-circuited for a second there and his mind glitched a bit. Yoongi was standing in front of him, his hair was shiny and longer than before, his clothes were not that huge for his frame anymore - still pretty baggy though. 

He was surprised, maybe just as much as Jungkook.

“Hello.” Taehyung’s voice resonated behind Jungkook who was still shocked. His friend bowed at Yoongi. Yoongi widened his eyes a bit more.

“Oh. Oh. ” The older one shifted his gaze between the two men in front of him. “Hello. I’m Min Yoongi.” 

“Wow… It’s been a long time, huh?” Jungkook started and tried calming down his own nerves.

“Yeah.” Yoongi said and wandered his eyes through Jungkook’s whole body. Of course, he didn’t live under a rock, he saw Jungkook on TV and sometimes his pictures popped up on social media but he wasn’t ready to see him in person. He was even more beautiful than he remembered: Jungkook’s hair was longer, he had cute bangs, and was wearing a loose black shirt with really baggy pants. 

The guy near Jungkook was also really handsome, he noticed. For a second there he wondered if he was Jungkook’s boyfriend or something but he schooled himself to not think about it. 

He shouldn’t.

He couldn’t.

“Uhm, I didn’t know you were in town.” It was true. Yoongi kind of expected Jungkook to show up to the party but not that soon.

“Seokjin-hyung invited me and I had some days off so I came. What about you? What are you doing here?”

Yoongi grimaced at that. “Namjoonie is talking to your mother. I gave them a bit of privacy.” 

“Namjoon-hyung is here.” Jungkook repeated to make sure he heard it right.

“Yeah. I drove him here.” Yoongi knew that their relationship was not easy, not anymore. When Yoongi met Jungkook, the brothers were inseparable and it was even a whole drama when Jungkook and Yoongi realized they liked each other; both of them were afraid of Namjoon’s reaction. They didn’t want to let him down and breaking the news that his little brother was in love with his best friend - and vice versa - was challenging. “Seokjin-hyung is not here, though.” 

“Oh.”

Silence. 

Uncomfortable silence. 

Jungkook looked around while biting his bottom lip nervously. 

“I have to get something upstairs and charge my phone so I’ll let you two talk.” Before Jungkook could stop Taehyung, he quickly left. 

“He seems nice.” Yoongi said and Jungkook frowned a bit. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm… and really handsome.” Yoongi didn’t know why he was saying that but anything was better than awkward silence with Jungkook, even talking about his possible new boyfriend.

Jungkook nodded. Taehyung was indeed very handsome. A pang of jealousy hit his heart. “How have you been?” He decided to ask. He didn’t know, that was true. He promised himself he wouldn’t stalk Yoongi’s social media and all he knew about Yoongi was what his mom let slip during their phone calls. She knew quite a lot of what was going on in his life since he was still Namjoon’s best friend. 

She was always gushing about him - after making sure by questioning Jungkook that he was fine with her talking about him. Apparently, Yoongi was still really present in her life as well and helped her when Namjoon couldn’t. 

It was expected, Jungkook would say. 

Yoongi took care of people, that was his thing. 

He took care of his friends, he took care of Jungkook when Jungkook was just Namjoon’s brother and when they dated. He also took care of his family from afar. 

Yoongi sent money to his parents back in Daegu; his father didn’t work anymore due to health problems and Yoongi moved to Busan so he could work and send money back. 

Jungkook went to Seoul with the same motive: to give his family a better life, send them money… Maybe that was why Yoongi never questioned his decision. 

Jungkook remembered him asking Jungkook if he was sure of it, if it would help as he wanted to and even Yoongi saying that he wished Jungkook stayed… But he never asked Jungkook to stay. He knew they were struggling and he knew by experience that Jungkook had no other choice. 

He woke up from his own memories when his ex-boyfriend said:

“Ok, I guess? I don’t even remember what happened these past years but I guess everything’s fine.” Yoongi smiled. “You?”

“Busy.” He said, simply.

“Sure. Of course.” He smiled. “Sometimes I forget that you’re a superstar now…”

“Yeah… Kind of.”

It was so awkward. 

Jungkook hated how awkward they were around each other… But was there any other way?

“Should I go there? And talk to Namjoon-hyung?” 

“I… don’t know?” Yoongi answered. “I mean, he’ll find out you’re in town sooner or later so, yeah, maybe you should.” 

Jungkook bit his lower lip again and, this time, Yoongi’s eyes stared right at his bottom lip with the two new piercings he had there. They were new.

Actually, Jungkook looked different. More mature… And Yoongi didn’t know what to do. He felt his heart race just as much as it did back when they were boyfriends.

“Right. I will be back in a minute. Don’t want to intrude on their talk if it’s something that doesn’t include me-“

“You’re back.” It was Namjoon’s voice, startling both of them. Jungkook looked at the door he was coming from, followed by his mother. 

“For a few days, yeah. Hello, hyung.” 

Namjoon’s hard stare made Jungkook fidget a bit. “Mom was telling me you showed up earlier today and that you’re going to stay for the party.”

“Yeah, and a bit more. I have two weeks off, so…” 

“I didn’t invite you, you know that, right?” He asked in a cold stone tone and Jungkook felt so vulnerable under those eyes. 

“I thought you did. Mom told me earlier that she and Seokjin-hyung were the ones who thought it would be a good idea to have me here for the party.” He shifted his gaze to his own hands. “I don’t want to disrupt your party or make you uncomfortable on a day you should celebrate and be happy so if you’re not comfortable, I’ll get back to Seoul.” 

Yoongi and his mother gasped loudly at that.

“Jungkookie-“

“No, mom, if he doesn’t want me here, I won’t stay. It’s hyung’s day, hyung’s party, hyung’s engagement…”

“I don’t want you here.” Namjoon said, his tone unsure. “But you can stay. Mom, Seokjin and… others want you here.” 

Jungkook looked up at him and Namjoon didn’t look like he meant those words. When they fought, years ago, Namjoon looked fierce, mad. Now, he could see only sadness in his face and it made Jungkook’s heart clench. 

“You don’t want me here.” Jungkook repeated and shifted his gaze to Yoongi. The last time he visited, Namjoon said the same thing… But, at that time, Yoongi was by his side at the end of the night saying that Namjoon didn’t mean it - that he was still hurt. 

Well, Jungkook was also hurt at that time and was getting hurt at that very moment. 

If anything, Jungkook was really strong; that he could assure.

And, this time, there would be no one to hug him through the sadness he was feeling. 

“I should get going. Jinnie is waiting for me.”

“Hyung?” He called. “Namjoon-hyung.” That made Namjoon stop to look at him. The older brother was already putting on his shoes. 

“Yeah?”

“I was hoping we could talk… not today, if you don’t want to… But someday? Any time this week?”

“What about?”

Well, that was a hard question.

Jungkook wanted to talk about them, primarily. He wanted nothing more than to get along with his brother once again but he also wanted to update Namjoon about his life, share his little victories and dreams. He hoped Namjoon would be interested in sharing things with him as well.

It’s been years since they had a nice conversation and Jungkook wanted that so bad.

He was so tired of fighting.

“A lot.” He answered, simply. Namjoon frowned at that. 

“Don’t think it’s a good idea, Jungkook. I have nothing to talk to you about.” 

That hurt just like a slap and his mother intervened: 

“You should listen to what he has to say, Namjoon-ah!” She said to her oldest son. Namjoon shook his head. 

Jungkook knew he was stubborn, but Namjoon was even worse.

“I don’t-”

“Please.” Jungkook asked. “I have a lot to say.”

A few years back, Namjoon only gave him the cold shoulder and didn’t even look at him. This time. he seemed to be pondering.

“I’ll see what I can do. I’m not promising anything and this is not me wanting to talk to you. You left us to live with that son of a bitch- Ugh. You know what? I don’t want to talk about it. I’m leaving.” He looked at his mother who was by Jungkook’s side: “Bye, mom. Love you.”

Yoongi, who was standing there, watching the whole scene unfold, knew he should follow Namjoon but he was still digesting the fact that Jungkook was there. 

“Hyung?” Namjoon called him and he nodded fast. 

“Bye, Mrs. Jeon. It’s always good to see you.” He smiled and Jungkook was looking at him. Jungkook’s expression was a mix of surprise and sadness with a bit of frustration. It hurt Yoongi to see him like this - not that Yoongi would ever admit it out loud. “Bye, Jungkook.”

Jungkook gulped and waved at them, not trusting himself to be able to let out a word without stuttering or sobbing. 

When both men left the house, Jungkook felt the urge to hug his mother tightly, just like he did when he was a teenager and was overwhelmed. 

“Baby, I’m sure Namjoon will talk to you soon enough. He’s not angry anymore, huh? I can tell.” Jungkook kept hugging her, not looking at her eyes. 

“Were you mad at me when I decided to leave? Are you still?” That question made her put a tiny distance between them so she could look at his eyes.

“I was never angry or disappointed at you. I was sad that you were leaving, of course, but that was because I’m your mother and I want all my children close and I felt like I failed you somehow-“

“You didn’t-“ He tried to interrupt her but she kept going. 

“I just wanted what was best for you and your brother and I wished I was able to provide for you like a good mother. It made me sad that I wasn’t capable of it. It made me sad that I would have to watch you go and know that you had a reason, a motive. It made me sad that you had to contact your father about it. I know, really, I know that it wasn’t easy for you.” She caressed his face while talking and Jungkook was crying silently. He tried to hold back the tears but he couldn’t. 

“I guess I never gathered up the courage to ask these questions, nor the courage to talk to Namjoon-hyung… I was always afraid of the answer.” 

“You have nothing to worry about, I promise. I love you very much and, if anything, I’m really proud of you and I think you are so talented and so loved. I’m really happy for you, Kookie.” She put a strand of his hair behind his ear. “And I’m sure your brother misses you too and that he’s proud of you as well. He’s just hurt. Your father did break his heart more than once, you know that.” She added. “I was always so scared that your father would treat you badly. He’s not a good person. Not anymore.”

“He didn’t. I lived with him only for a few months so we didn’t share much, you know that. At the company, he always tries to be the cool dad in front of the others because I’m famous now but I don’t fall for it, mom. I’m not there because I think he’s better than you. I didn’t leave because of that. I went to Seoul because I needed a job. I looked for him because I need a place to sleep and I’m his son.”

“I know, Kookie. I know that.” She dried the tears on his cheeks. “Your brother and I, we just tried to protect you from anything and everything so letting you go there, it was nerve-wrecking. Do you remember how I called you almost every hour?” She chuckled. “I was so worried. Seoul is really big and you were there on your own.”

“I appreciate all the worry and, indeed, it wasn’t easy at first. I told you. I cried on the phone quite a lot.” He laughed a bit and cried a bit more. His mom was still caressing his face. 

“You’re really brave and I know for a fact that your brother loves you. He seems tough and all but he’s just trying to preserve his own heart from breaking again.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m happy you’re staying and I’ll make sure that Namjoonie talks to you.” 

“No need to. I’ll manage it.” He assured her and used the back of his hand to dry the tear stains on his face. 

“Kookie, answer me one thing, does your father know that you’re bisexual?” 

Jungkook shook his head. 

“No. No one knows in Seoul. I mean, Tae does and I guess the guys I kissed? Not that many…”

“I’m sorry you have to hide.” Jungkook shrugged. “And… Yoongi was here:” 

“Yes, he was.” 

“How are you feeling?” 

“It’s so weird. I guess I’ll always feel a bit overwhelmed near him.” 

“I think he still loves you-“

“Mom!” He interrupted. “No. Don’t do this. We broke up, we fought. I still cherish what we lived but I don’t know. It wouldn’t work. I have my head on other things… Please, don’t.” 

“You never told me why you broke up, the second time…” 

“We just don’t click anymore, I think. It’s fine. We talked for a bit and I’m sure we can be friendly. He is a really nice guy, after all.”

“He is.”

“I should go upstairs and see Tae. He gave me privacy to talk to Yoongi-hyung and I’m sure he’s waiting to know if he can come down.” 

His mother nodded and pressed another kiss on his cheek. “Go do that. I’ll fix some snacks so we can eat and talk. I want to know more about your life and update you.” 

— x — 

“Ok. Talk.” Yoongi said after parking the car.

“I have nothing to talk about.” He mumbled.

“You’re sad, Namjoon.” Yoongi stated the obvious. He was not feeling that great either; just saw Jungkook after so long but he had Namjoon to worry about. 

“I just don’t get it. Why is he here?” 

“He was invited.” Yoongi repeated what he heard. “And he still looks up to you. You know that.” 

“You always defend him.” Namjoon sighed. “Everyone does.” 

“I-… Uhm, your brother and I, we have history and we have our divergences but when you two had that really big fight, I was still with him.” Namjoon gave him a pointed look. “Kind of.” He sighed again. “Look, I know it’s not what you think and that you think he had other choices but I talked to him and I know he did what he did to help you and your mother. You know I always understood his reasons. I know you have every right to be hurt about it and that it goes beyond only moving to another city but I always understood him… I’m sure one day you’ll see it too. You’re too stubborn sometimes.” He paused. “That kid loves you a lot, Namjoon-ah.” 

“I… I miss him, you know? But it’s so hard! Before I could only hate him and get angry but, now, thinking about him, seeing him, it makes me sad and frustrated.”

“Maybe that’s a really good time for you to talk.” 

“I have too much on my plate this week already, hyung. And I need to talk to Jinnie. He invited Jungkook and didn’t tell me.” 

“I’m sure he was thinking about you and what’s best for you.”

“I need to talk to him either way.” He concluded. 

“Ok. I might get home and get some rest as well-“

“What about you, hyung?” Namjoon interrupted. “We were talking about me and I know it’s really hard on you to see him too.” 

“I don’t know.” Yoongi said, true to what he was feeling. 

“I didn’t expect to see him today. I knew Jin-hyung had invited him. Yeah, sorry about that.” He added quickly when Namjoon widened his eyes at him. “But it’s hard. We… everything is too much when it comes to what I felt for Jungkook.” 

“I’m here if you want to talk.” Namjoon assured. “I’m always here.” 

“I know, thank you. Now go inside. I have to go and you have to talk to hyung. Please don’t get in any petty fights. We have an engagement party to run and I already rented my clothes.” He tried to let the air a bit lighter and Namjoon smiled at him. 

“We won’t fight, hyung. We never do.”

And it was true; even when mad or sad, they always talked things through and never got really angry at the other. 

Yoongi envied that. When he dated Jungkook, they had petty fights and useless arguments here and there. They were too intense.

Always intense.

“If you want to stay, you can use the spare room.” Namjoon suggested and Yoongi shook his head. He really needed to go home. “Alright.”

— x — 

Jungkook spent some quality time with his mother and Taehyung. When she went to sleep, Tae asked what happened between him, Yoongi and Namjoon. 

The younger one told the story to his best friend and added: 

“I’ll tell you all about Yoongi and I, but not tonight. Ok?” 

“Alright, you don’t need to rush to tell me. You don’t have to tell me at all if you don’t feel like it, please, don’t worry.” 

“I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you.” 

Taehyung’s boxy smile was on full display when he said: “For someone so confident, so strong and so full of himself, you’ve been quite insecure ever since we arrived in Busan.” 

“I am not.” He replied. 

“Don’t worry, Kookie. I know that there are things that are too hard to say. Don’t worry.”

Taehyung was indeed an angel. 

Jungkook would’ve gone crazy without him. He knew that, for sure.

When Jungkook lay on his bed, he couldn’t fall asleep. He was too overwhelmed with everything that happened. It was far late in the night when he decided to act on instinct and maybe do something dumb. 

He grabbed his phone and searched for Yoongi’s name. He bit his lower lip, hesitating, before pressing the button to call him. 

As soon as it rang once, he regretted it. It was so late; it was the middle of the night already - and he should just text like a normal person-

“ Hello? ” The raspy and groggy voice made something churn inside Jungkook’s stomach. It’s been so damn long. 

“Yoongi-hyung?” 

“J ungkook? Is that you? ” A pause. “ Oh, shit. ” 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called. It’s late-“

Yoongi was wide awake at that moment. “ No, no. What happened? Is everything ok? Are you ok? ” 

“O- fuck, this feels so stupid. I’m sorry. I just… couldn’t sleep.”

“ You couldn’t sleep and decided to call me? ” 

“Yeah, I’m really sorry.” 

“ What did you have in mind? ” 

“To be honest, I wanted to meet up.”

“ You want to see me ? ” 

“I want to talk. I was afraid you’d never talk to me again but earlier you were-“

“ Meet me in twenty minutes? ” Yoongi suggested not letting Jungkook finish his sentence. 

“Oh, ok.” Jungkook was very surprised to hear that so he just agreed. The first thought was that he shouldn’t go meet anyone in the middle of the night without telling Taehyung - or his agency - but he couldn’t care less. “Where?”

— x —

That was such a terrible idea. Yoongi knew from the start. 

He woke up with the call and asked to meet Jungkook on a whim. He shouldn’t make decisions right after waking up.

He and Jungkook decided to meet in a secluded place - their usual place. 

And that was terrible because it held way too many memories. 

“Were you waiting for long?” Jungkook showed up out of nowhere. He was wearing the same clothes from earlier, with a black comfy jacket over his black oversized shirt.

“Five minutes, I guess?” 

Jungkook nodded at that and took place by sitting on Yoongi’s side. They had this safe space in the middle of the Busan beach. They used to call it their spot. 

The beach barely had any lights and the ocean was pitch black; the only way to clearly see it was because of the moon’s reflection and the wave’s movements. “I’m sorry for calling this late.” The younger one repeated and Yoongi shook his head. 

“It’s ok.” 

Jungkook bit his lower lip. “I guess I just wanted to talk to you.” 

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry, hyung.” 

“You have to stop apologizing and I mean it.” Yoongi warned him and adjusted himself a bit. “Why did you call? What did you want to talk about? I can’t lie, I was surprised.” 

“I don’t really know.” He confessed and it was true. Jungkook knew he wanted to hear Yoongi’s voice. That was it. “It’s just… We saw each other early and it didn’t feel like you hated me and I thought I should talk to you.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“You kind of did, back then.”

“I never did.” Yoongi reassured him. 

And it was true, they had a story, yes, but Yoongi never hated him. Not even for a second. 

And that was the problem. 

“I thought that you were the one disappointed in me.” Yoongi mumbled and Jungkook grimaced at that. He used the word ‘disappointed’ in their last fight and it clearly stuck with Yoongi. 

“I was immature as fuck.” Jungkook shifted his gaze back to the ocean. 

“We both were, Jungkook.”

They met years ago when Yoongi moved to Busan and met Namjoon. It didn’t take long for them to be friends and Jin joined right after - when Namjoon successfully asked him out.

At that time, Jungkook saw Yoongi here and there and it didn’t take long for him to have a crush on the man. 

Jungkook was 18 when he had his first kiss. 

And it was with Yoongi.

They were talking outside and it was Namjoon’s birthday. The younger one confessed that he had never kissed anyone and boldly asked Yoongi to kiss him. He had nothing to lose, after all. His crush on Yoongi was totally one-sided, he thought.

At first, Yoongi was hesitant - especially because Jungkook was Namjoon’s brother - but he quickly answered that he didn’t believe Jungkook had never kissed anyone, and asked if it was a kind of prank. 

It wasn’t. 

They kissed and Jungkook explained after that he didn’t feel like kissing just anyone but that he did want to kiss Yoongi and that was why he asked. Yoongi was flattered and got shy about it, which was really surprising since the one who always melted around the other was Jungkook. 

But that wasn’t the kiss that stuck. 

That wasn’t the kiss they thought about when reminiscing about their relationship was their second one - the one that started it all. 

They didn’t address their very first kiss often and Yoongi wondered if Jungkook regretted it. It took them a year - without talking about it - to change their dynamics. Suddenly they were a lot flirty with each other and things were easy, and chill. 

Jimin noticed it and mentioned it to Jungkook who denied it vehemently. He always said that it was friendly flirting and that if Yoongi was interested in him at all he would have acted on it after their shared kiss. 

Jungkook had turned 19 and they were doing a chill movie night at Jungkook’s house. Jimin, Jin and Namjoon were also there. 

Jungkook decided to be bold and follow Jimin’s tips (he really didn’t know why he decided to follow Jimin’s idea, really). When Yoongi got up in the middle of the movie, Jungkook shared a look with Jimin and followed the older one right away. 

“Hyung? Do you need help?” 

“I was just getting some water and I’ll take these candies there- What?” 

“Can we talk?” That took Yoongi off guard and he just nodded. 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Am I a bad kisser?” He asked and Yoongi wasn’t expecting it. “I mean, we kissed once and then we pretended it never happened and we flirted and it’s fun but you never kissed me again. Am I a bad one?” 

And Yoongi laughed. 

Laughed hard.

At that moment, Jungkook felt embarrassed. He, for a second there, thought that Yoongi was making fun of him - which would never happen because Yoongi was the kindest soul ever -. 

“Jungkook, no, you’re not a bad kisser. I assure you.” 

“Then why?”

“Why what?”

“Why didn’t you kiss me again?” He asked and Yoongi crossed his arms after putting the glass of water over the counter.

“Why didn’t you?” The older one asked. 

Jungkook was not that experienced but he could see that Yoongi was flirting, teasing. 

“Do you want me to?” He asked to be sure because Jungkook didn’t want to misunderstand that. 

Yoongi didn’t answer him; he placed a kiss on his lips right away. A tiny peck.

That was when everything changed for them. 

They kissed more and went back to finish the movie. 

At first, in their relationship, they tried to keep it on the low, afraid of Namjoon’s reaction but they were too affectionate and Jin once said: “You’re not fooling anyone. I’m sure Namjoon knows about you two already.” 

And he did.

He asked them separately what was going on. Gladly, both of them were serious about it and all Namjoon said was: “I hope you don’t hurt each other.” 

The relationship was good, great even.

They understood each other and they made time for dating even though both of them were busy. Yoongi was producing and writing music - and also working as a handyman here and there. He had to pay for rent and he also sent money back to his family in Daegu… That’s exactly the reason why he was the first to be really understanding when Jungkook mentioned that he wanted to move to work and get more money to help his family. 

Jungkook’s family needed money and that was a fact. They had to pay for the house, food and other necessities and his mother couldn’t work at that moment due to back pain. Namjoon did his best teaching and Jungkook pitched all the money he made but it was not enough. Never enough. 

He didn’t find a job in what he studied and the part-time jobs were not doing it for him. 

So he decided to leave. 

At that time, they tried a long-distance relationship but it only went on for a few weeks. When Yoongi visited Jungkook in Seoul, he was scared of their future and when they talked, they broke up. 

Right before debuting, Jungkook went back to Busan to spend some time with his family and friends and he and Yoongi had a moment again.

They slept together after so long and there was so much love surrounding them but when Jungkook told the older one that he loved him, that he still loved him, Yoongi didn’t say it back. 

Yoongi never said that he loved Jungkook, not even when they were dating - he had this commitment issue and Jungkook tried to understand but, at that moment, it hurt a lot more. They were pouring their feelings back on the table and Jungkook felt wronged.

Their relationship was over, so Yoongi was trying to save his own heart. A revival moment wouldn’t make them boyfriends again. Jungkook was about to debut and possibly become famous, that was what Yoongi thought. He knew that once he debuted his private life would be hard, that his sexuality couldn’t be out in the open and that they needed more time to mend their relationship - if they wanted to. A night together was not enough. 

That’s why he refused when Jungkook suggested between breakfast that they try a long-distance relationship again; that he wanted to be with Yoongi and that he would try his best. 

Jungkook was hurt and it even made their previous sweet night a bit bitter. “Yeah, sorry, forgot you don’t love me enough for it.” He spat those words out of frustration and it turned into a huge fight. Their last one. 

“… So…” Yoongi said taking them both out from memory lane. 

“I’m comfortable around you. I don’t feel comfortable around many people these days.” 

“It must be hard, being famous.” 

“Some days are bad, some days are great… But overall I pretty much love what I do, hyung. I really do. I never imagined the life I’m living now, I think I never thought I was capable but it turned out that I am and I am good at it as well.”

“Who would’ve thought?” He smiled at Jungkook.

“Maybe we could write a song together.” Jungkook thought about that a lot.

“Did you wake me up to say that you wanted to work with me?” Yoongi laughed and yawned, making Jungkook shyly shift his gaze.

“Of course, not. I just mentioned. I called you because I wanted to.” He proudly answered. “And I’m happy you agreed.” He paused and looked at Yoongi once again. “I’m really happy. I don’t get to be myself around people and I know it’s been a while but, as I said, I feel comfortable.” 

“I- I regret a lot of what we said the last time we talked. I’m sorry.”

“Me too. I’m sorry too.” Jungkook put his arms around his own body. “I guess we just had a lot going on, huh?” 

“We kind of still do?” Yoongi asked and Jungkook adjusted his hair by shaking his head and smiled. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

That was a relief to both of them. They knew they had a lot to unpack but to know that the other didn’t hold bad grudges after everything… That was a huge relief. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s new here in Busan?” 

And they fell into easy conversation, respecting their distance (sadly). 

Yoongi told him all about Jimin, Hoseok, Jin and Namjoon. He told him all about the city and the songs he’s been making… “I’m sorry, I’m talking too much.” 

“I like to hear you talking and I get the updates and gossip. Jimin doesn’t gossip this much. You always were the one who knew everything.” 

“I’m too observant and Jimin doesn’t talk about himself because he’s always afraid of making a fool of himself.” The tone in Yoongi’s voice was soft and caring. 

Jungkook had a lot to ask as well but he decided to follow Yoongi’s lead, letting him speak about what he feels ok to share with Jungkook. 

He was curious about Yoongi’s family and all but he knew they were a soft spot and maybe Yoongi wouldn’t share so soon.

“Uhm, it’s almost 5.” Yoongi stated and bit his lower lip a few times before asking: “Shouldn’t you go home? I’m sure your boyfriend won’t be pleased to know you left him alone to meet your ex in the middle of the night.” Yoongi teased and Jungkook took his time to understand. 

“Boyfriend? I don’t have a boyfriend- Oh! Taehyung?” Yoongi only stared at him. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s probably the reason why I haven’t gone crazy yet in Seoul. He’s my friend, he works with me as well. Not my boyfriend, no.” Jungkook was stuttering a bit and talking fast. “He’s interested in Hoseok-ssi.” That caught Yoongi off guard and he looked genuinely surprised. Yoongi shifted his gaze back to the ocean, the sky a bit lighter now; clearly the sun would rise at any moment.

“So… You’re single.”

Jungkook smiled at the corner of his lips. He didn’t stop looking at Yoongi when he answered: “Single, yes. I guess I’m trying to focus on my career… so, yes, single. You?” 

“I’m single as well.” He answered and finally gathered up the courage to look back at Jungkook’s eyes. 

It was so hard being near Jungkook; every word made him feel something. 

And Jungkook could say the same about Yoongi. 

“That’s good to know, I guess.” Jungkook mumbled. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” That was all Jungkook let himself say about it and Yoongi chuckled.

“You’re… You’re a tease.” He paused. “Insufferable.” 

Jungkook laughed at that, eyes still lingering at Yoongi. The older one was looking at his own hands and shook his head to adjust his own hair against the ocean breeze that was hitting their faces. 

It was hard to stare at Jungkook and not feel a wave of nostalgia, of feelings bubbling up. Feelings Yoongi couldn’t really name. And he shouldn’t feel like that, especially because it’s been years since they broke up and years since Yoongi realized he was not boyfriend material, per se. 

He had a really huge problem with commitment and he was mature enough to acknowledge that now. Showing vulnerability was hard for him. Sharing what he was feeling was even harder but he tried to be better at least with his friends and family, allowing himself to feel whatever he needed to feel and to say out loud what was inside his heart.

He was not like that during his relationship with Jungkook, though. He, of course, shared a lot with him; they were boyfriends after all… but Yoongi never told him he loved him even though they dated for a long time. 

Yoongi did love him. Immensely. Greatly. 

He never told him because he sabotaged himself quite a lot when he was a bit younger. 

Yoongi decided to stare at Jungkook’s big eyes and, at that moment, he didn’t know exactly what he was feeling but, yeah, he couldn’t pretend that seeing his last boyfriend right in front of him after so long wasn’t messing up with his head. 

“Should we go? The sun is almost up.” He blurted out after getting rid of the whole thinking ordeal inside his brain. 

He was tired and he shouldn’t dwell on the past when he was like that. 

Yoongi was known for not making good decisions when tired. 

“Or… We could stay a bit longer.” He shrugged and the confident aura around Jungkook subdued a bit. “It’s been a long time since the last time I enjoyed the sunrise. Whenever I’m filming something in the crack of dawn, I barely pay attention to it.” Jungkook suggested it because he didn’t want the night to end. 

The talk was nice and chill and he also knew they had a lot to unpack; they greatly avoided any sensitive topics that night. 

Yoongi knew it wasn’t a great idea; Again, he did not make good decisions when tired.

Staying out with his flirty famous ex-boyfriend, losing sleep because of it… It didn’t sound like a good idea.

“Sure, we can stay a bit longer.” He gave in.

Jungkook smiled at him widely, his nose scrunching a bit and the wind blowing strongly and pushing his hair back. 

“Thank you, hyung.” The younger one bit his lower lip, trying not to look that much excited about it.

They don’t talk much after that, just a few words here and there. None of them wanted to ruin the moment.

Jungkook was being cautious. He didn’t think he would have a moment with Yoongi that soon. He didn’t think he would talk to Yoongi at all; he spent years thinking that Yoongi hated him a lot - and Yoongi probably thought the same about Jungkook. 

The younger one definitely didn’t expect them to meet, have a comfortable conversation, and even tease and flirt along the way. 

It was so weird.

So liberating.

The last time they saw each other was also the last time they talked. 

Mixed feelings.

They were missing each other; Jungkook was homesick; They slept together; They talked; They fought; They broke up for real.

Jungkook could easily remember every word they threw at each other during their fight. Accusations, insecurities, jealousy and sadness float everywhere.

Yoongi didn’t remember it to that extent. He tried really hard to forget all about that night. He didn’t but at least he forgot the hurtful part.

The sun was already up when Jungkook started to overthink. Usually he was very impulsive and that was the whole reason they were together at that moment in the first place.

But he also always managed to overthink his decisions after some time.

“What are we doing?” His thoughts were interrupted by Yoongi’s voice. They looked at each other and Jungkook felt his heart beating faster, skipping a beat. Yoongi’s hair - now longer than what Jungkook remembered from a few years back - was getting messy because of the wind. His eyes were shining, the sunlight making his skin glow lightly. He was clearly tired and dark circles under his eyes - not really evident but, for Jungkook who was just that close, it was visible.

If Yoongi wasn’t looking straight at Jungkook, the younger one would think he was talking to himself.

“Does it matter?” He answered after a while. 

And that was it.

It didn’t matter.

They were enjoying being around the other and even knowing they still had a lot to unpack, a lot of unsaid things, they were living the moment.

Yoongi also took his time watching Jungkook’s features. His cheeks were lightly blushing. Sunkissed. His hair made him look softer than usual and his eyes hold a lot of secrets in them.

And Jungkook was right.

It didn’t matter.

He would leave in a few days.

Yoongi would move on just like the last time.

It didn’t matter, did it? 

Chapter Text

“Hyung, I’m fucked.” Yoongi said as soon as Jin showed up at his door. He was wearing gym clothes and was slightly out of breath. 

“Yeah, you told me that over the phone. I’m worried! What happened? Are you ok?” 

Yoongi let him in and closed the door behind them with a frown. “Why are you so worried? I told you I wanted to talk to you and that I’m fucked not that I’m dying.” 

“Isn’t that the same thing?” 

“No?”

“Ugh, but the call- You never call!” 

“That is true. I’d rather text but I thought you would be busy and I’m in a crisis. I needed you to reply.” 

Jin took a deep breath and after leaving the shoes on the doorstep, he said: “Ugh!” He sighed. “I’m just… I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m getting used to Namjoon and his habits. In their family, they call only in emergencies and I guess when you said that you were fucked and the fact that you were calling-“

“Ok, I get it. It’s ok. It’s not an emergency. I’m in a crisis, though.” 

“Are you?”

“I saw Jungkookie.”

“Yeah, I know. Namjoon was mad at me because I invited him-“

“No, I mean, he called me in the middle of the night and we met again.” 

“What?! I thought you weren’t talking.”

“I thought so too and, I mean, we have a lot of backstory and a lot of wounds but I was happy to be there with him.”

“Did you fuck?”

“No!” He deadpans. “We talked and, hyung, it was good. Too good!”

“Is this your way of telling me that you still have feelings for him or is this you telling me that you’re lonely?” 

Yoongi shook his head and sat on the couch. 

“I’m not lonely. I have you guys.” He mumbled, trying to make a point but he knew he sounded pathetic doing that. “I was dating Yijeong not long ago-”

“It’s been at least seven months, Yoongi.”

“Well, it was intense. He wanted to marry me. I’m allowed to be single now after something that serious.”

“You dumped him as soon as he said he saw a future with you.”

“It wasn’t fair- Stop it! We’re not talking about that. We’re talking about Jungkook.”

“Ok… So you still have feelings for him.”

“I don’t-“

“Yoongi, come on, when you broke up it took you months to be excited about something. You were so sad all the time and it was terrible. I didn’t know other ways to make you happy. And then you started sleeping around and I don’t know I lost count of how many guys you introduced me to… Until Yijeong and, then, it took you forever to get to call him your boyfriend and, as soon as he said he wanted more, you broke up with him.” He paused. “I mean, you have some commitment trauma-”

“I don’t!” He tried. “It’s not something that happened after Jungkook. I was always a bit skeptical. I loved Jungkook so much and I never told him that.”

Jin looked at him and frowned, puzzled about what he just heard. “What?”

“Can you believe it?” He laughed, no humor in his voice. “I dated Jungkook for years and I never told him I loved him.”

“You’re saying it to me, that you loved him. You acknowledge that easily in this conversation. Why didn’t you tell him when it mattered?”

“Because whenever I think about relationships and all, the idea of being vulnerable freaks me out.” He confessed. “When we broke up, in Seoul, when I went there to see where he was living and all… Jungkook was so excited about me being there and he was making plans! He was all about ‘ Oh, when I go back to Busan ’ or ‘ You should come to Seoul, work here, be here with me ’... We talked and we broke up when he made his point that Seoul was his life at that moment and I told him I could not be a part of it.” 

Jin listened with his full attention. “You know what? It’s the first time you’re telling me what happened in Seoul.” He said. “But, Yoongi, being in a relationship is not easy. We make lots of sacrifices and we do it because we want it to work. I saw you and Jungkook together and you were great together. Always great. I’m sure that you showed your vulnerability at some point. Fuck, we’re vulnerable even when we fuck the other person-“

“I know. I’m sure of it. He knew me better than anyone. I could be myself and he never judged me. And that was mutual. We talked a few weeks after he first said that loved me.” He paused. “I needed him to know that it wasn’t that easy for me to say it but that I cared about him quite a lot. I needed him to understand that I loved him but I couldn’t say the words. He understood. Jungkook was always so good, so patient, so understanding.” Jin nodded at that. It was true. “But when he decided to move out, I knew he needed to do it and, I don’t know, I built up walls around my heart because I knew, deep down I knew, that it wouldn’t work long distance.” 

Yoongi was talking, still standing up. It was like he was vomiting all those words. They were locked inside of him for far too long. Jin was trying to wrap his head around the fact that Yoongi was opening up so he quietly watched it all. 

“When he came to visit. Do you remember? Everything was great until it wasn’t. We spent the night together and it was so good. Hyung, it was amazing. Amazing!” He exclaimed. “But, in the next morning, he asked me to get back together. He asked me to try dating him again. I said no. And that’s why the fight started. He said that I didn’t love him enough and we said way too much stuff. I regret most of it.” 

“Oh.” Jin said. “It’s the first time you’re telling me that as well.” 

“I need to vent to someone. I’m sorry to just dump all of this on you.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad you trust me.” 

“I didn’t want to think about that anymore and I didn’t want to talk about it. Especially not with Namjoon. He may be angry at his brother but he would easily punch me in the face if I told him.” 

“He wouldn’t-“ 

“We don’t know about that.” He retorted. “And everything was good. I moved on. As you said, not the healthiest way of coping but I met people, I ended up dating Yijeong for a while, and, then, ok, I was lonely and all but things were ok. I was ok!” He finally sat on the couch.

“And now Jungkook is here.” Jin said.

“Exactly! Now Jungkook is here.” He put his hands over his face. “And he is gorgeous, still so pretty, his voice and his eyes are still the same… and he called me in the middle of the night because he couldn’t sleep. I thought I was completely over it, over him. It’s been so long.”

“And what did you two talk about?”

“Life? I guess. About a lot of things.” 

“Yoongi.” Jin called him and when their eyes met, the older one continued: “I don’t want to be this person but… Listen, I hoped you two would talk - I also hope Joonie and Jungkookie could talk - but I also need to remind you that he will leave in a few days. Joonie told me he’s staying for two weeks only.” He adjusted his own hair. “He’s not only our Jungkookie anymore. He’s Jeon Jungkook, the biggest idol in our country. Realizing that you maybe still are in love with him, well… Damn, it comes with a lot of baggage.” 

“I’m not in love with him. I don’t even know him anymore. Our time together last night was nice. Really nice. I missed him a lot. We didn’t really talk about us and what went down in our relationship. We just talked. It was nice.” 

“Are you going to hang out with him again?” 

“I don’t know? Maybe? I want to. But I don’t know how wise it would be, you know? You said it yourself.” 

“You have to pinpoint exactly what you’re feeling now that he’s here and that you saw him. I think that would be a start. You’re clearly confused.” 

“Yeah.”

“I’m sure Jungkook is just the same right now.” 

“Don’t know about that. He’s mature, you know? Living there on his own clearly made him lose that ‘ baby’ aspect. He is different. Well, I think all of us are. It’s been years… it’s just that, he probably meets all kinds of people, famous and rich people. I’ve seen pictures of him with actors and all and they’re all better looking than me.”

“Do you think he’s dating someone?” That surprised Jin because Jungkook would have mentioned it to him or his mother, right?

“He told me he’s single.”

“He told you he’s single.” The older one repeated. “Why on earth the so-called friendly chat turned into a talk about whether he’s single or not?”

“He came here with his friend, Taehyung. I thought they were dating so I told him that his boyfriend was probably worried since he left in the middle of the night to meet me. He told me that he was single. And he said that it was good to know that I’m also single.” 

“Ok. You’re totally going to fuck before this visit ends.”

“Hyung!”

“Am I wrong, though?”

“I don’t know!” He exasperated. “It’s so messy.” 

“Come on, you. Let’s do something to take your mind off Jungkook.” 

“Yes, please!” 

— x —

“Do you mind telling me why you arrived from the front door and not upstairs, where you should be sleeping?” Taehyung asked while sitting on Jungkook’s bed.

He was there when Jungkook arrived at the break of the morning, unfortunately. His best friend and assistant didn’t say anything at the moment but the questioning look said it all. And, even though it annoyed Jungkook a lot, he understood. It was his job, after all. If Jungkook was clubbing or something, Taehyung should know because if the media posts something, he would be the one writing a note.

“Are you my mother or something?” Jungkook asked; he just got out of the shower and was hoping to have a few hours of sleep when he saw Taehyung waiting for him, sitting on his bed. 

“I’m not but we could call her here-“ 

“Tae.” He said simply and his friend sighed.

“Were you clubbing? Drinking?” He paused. “Were you with someone?” He meant as if Jungkook was fucking someone. “I need to know, Kookie. If there are pictures of you-“ 

“There’ll be no pictures. I was with Yoongi.”

A hint of relief and then confusion on Taehyung’s face. 

“As in your ex-boyfriend Yoongi?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, lord, his dick game must be no joke. You just saw him yesterday and rushed to fuck him?”

“We didn’t fuck. We- I called him. To talk. We were at the beach. Talking.”

“Only talking?” 

“Yes.”

“Something important?”

“Not really, no.”

“Did you see someone near you? Is it possible that-“

“We were the only ones there. No one saw me. I swear.” 

“Ok. Good.” He paused. “And how are you feeling?”

That question made Jungkook realize he was no longer talking to his assistant; Taehyung was talking as his best friend.

“It was good. Really.” He was already in pajamas and used the towel in his hands to try to dry his hair. “I missed him. It’s so pathetic.”

“It’s not.”

“I missed him a lot. Of course, it made something sparkle inside of me… but besides that, I missed our talks, missed having him as a friend, you know? To be honest, I miss having friends.” He then shifted his gaze to the floor, avoiding Taehyung’s eyes.

“I get it. The people we usually meet in Seoul, we’ll, they’re not really your friends. I think I can count on one hand how many of them truly care about you.” Jungkook nodded. 

It was true.

He was pretty lonely in Seoul. He knew a lot of people but they weren’t his friends. Most of them always wanted something from Jungkook. 

Maybe that was it, right? Maybe he just needed someone he could trust to be near him, to talk to him. “Is it weird if I say that I missed all of this? My family near me, my friends, the beach, Yoongi…”

“It’s not weird at all. Damn, I’m not the famous one and I miss the anonymous life every day.” 

That ripped a chuckle out of Jungkook. 

Being famous was not easy. He hated that part. He wished he could make his art without all the fuzz. Especially because being at the top, as Jungkook was, came with a lot of lack of privacy, a lot of rumors, a lot of eyes around…

“Yeah.” He agreed.

“The guy must still like you a lot. To come and find you in the middle of the night?”

“Stop writing fanfic plots inside your head.” Jungkook said and Taehyung chuckled. 

“Not possible.” He said. “Ok. I’ll let you rest a little.”

“You can feel at home. I’m sure Mom loves you already.” 

“That’s fine. I’ll find ways to keep myself busy. Have a nice rest. Come find me when you wake up.” 

“Alright, hyung.” 

— x —

“Look who’s here!” Jimin exclaimed and rushed to hug Namjoon. “You haven’t been here in months!” He added.

“Sorry, Jimin. I promise I’ll try my best to come often. Life just got… Busy.” 

“I know, with the engagement and all, it’s really rare to find time to talk to you or Jin.” He finally put space between them and watched his friend’s eyes. “Hoseok is in a class right now, with teenagers. It’ll end soon-“

“I’m not here for Hobi this time. I mean, I’ll say hello and all but actually I’m here to talk to you.”

That was weird. 

Jimin nodded, warily. “Talk to me.” He repeated.

“Yes. I mean, are you busy? Is there a class waiting for you?”

“Not at all. My next class starts in twenty minutes though. Let’s go inside. I’m sure you’re not willing to talk to me in the middle of the lobby.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go.” 

When they got inside Jimin’s tiny office, the younger one had a brief idea of what Namjoon was about to talk to him. 

“Is everything ok?” He asked. “Not that I’m complaining but, well, I think we never had a one-on-one before. We’re always with Seokjin or Hobi-“ 

“Yeah. I know. I’m sorry to just show up like this.” He paused. “I just thought about coming here because I want to talk about Jungkook.” 

There it was.

“Jungkook? Is he ok?”

Namjoon closed the door behind him. “I don’t know? Is he?” 

Jimin frowned at that. “I talked to him yesterday and he seemed fine.”

“I know but- why is he here?”

“Joon-hyung, I’m sure you could ask him that.” 

“I saw him yesterday. He told me he’s here for the party, and that Jinnie invited him… He also said that if I was uncomfortable he would go back to Seoul.”

“Are you? Uncomfortable, I mean.”

“I don’t know.” He confessed. “I used to get angry but yesterday, when I saw him, I got sad.” He said. It was clear how he wanted to say more but didn’t know how to elaborate. Jimin then interrupted:

“You should talk to him, hyung. And really listen, you know? Jungkook is not the monster you try so hard to believe.” 

“He hurt me a lot, Jimin.” 

“And he got hurt too.” Jimin sighed. “Look, I have my opinions but I won’t intrude on your relationship. I just think you should give him the chance to talk to you.” 

Namjoon put his hands inside his pockets. “I don’t know if I can do it, Jimin.” 

“Why not?”

“Because-“ He hesitated. “Hm, I just… I’m pretty good at avoiding emotional confrontation because I’ve got pretty good at protecting myself from getting hurt.” He added.

It was the first time Jimin saw Namjoon being so honest. He knew about everything that went down between the brothers and he even saw Namjoon getting angry once.

“I’m getting engaged at the end of the week. I just don’t want to deal with it. I have too much on my plate-“

“Hyung, it’s ok. You don’t have to talk to him right now. Baby steps. It’s ok.” Jimin rushed to say. Namjoon sighed again and he still seemed nervous. 

“I told Jin I’d let Jungkook come to the party. He invited him. My mom also wants him there.”

“I think it’ll be good.” Jimin paused. “He also needs some time with family and friends. It worries me that he’s so lonely.” 

“He’s not that lonely.” Namjoon retorted but Jimin only smiled weakly at him. Jimin knew all about Jungkook’s struggles but he wouldn’t be the one to share with Namjoon. He had no right to. “Is he?” 

“Talk to him.” Jimin answered and Namjoon frowned at him, a bit confused, probably wondering about his last question. “I really should go to my next class. The students must be arriving already. Can we talk more later?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You can crash into Hoseok’s class. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Hoseok in teacher mode? I’ll pass. He’s quite scary.”

“He is!” Jimin exclaimed with a smile and grabbed his stuff for the class.

“Thank you, Jimin. I know we’re not that close but I appreciate it.”

“We’re not that close because we’re always with the others. This was nice. We should hang out more often.” 

“I’ll try to make that happen.” 

— x —

Three days passed. It was Thursday and Jungkook was feeling at home, finally. 

At first, the quiet and the lazy hours made him feel a little out of it because he was kind of used to his crazy schedule (and, truly, he enjoyed it) but, three days in, he was in rest mode and it was amazing. 

He couldn’t recall the last time he had three whole days with nothing else to do.

He spent quite some time at home, just being there with his mother and talking a lot.

He wanted to go out but he didn’t want to get recognized so he usually went to almost empty places and shops - with his mask on -. He also went to the beach in the early hours of the day or during the night. 

Being able to feel the breeze coming from the sea and to watch the sun rise or set, well, Jungkook loved that.

At this point, he was really used to Seoul and even enjoyed life there. Everything was really practical and the city was no longer as scary as it once was. He had a really amazing apartment and all but being by the beach in Busan made him wonder (more than once) if he should just stay. 

It was like he had two different lives. The one who loved being famous, loved the attention, the fans, Seoul. The other one craved home, family, the sea and his raw version of himself. 

“You’re only one person, Jungkookie. You should try to find a balance. I know how much you miss me, miss us, but I heard you talk about your fans and your music quite a lot. I know it’s a huge part of you. You’d miss it all too much if you decided to give it all up. You’ll learn how to be yourself whenever you are and things will get easier, you’ll see.” His mother once said when he cried on the phone during the tour. He sobbed, saying that he wished he could go home.

He really hoped that his time back in Busan would help him put his thoughts in place. 

About Yoongi, well, Jungkook didn’t reach out to Yoongi, not even once. And the memory of them watching the sunrise on the beach was starting to feel like a dream. 

He wanted to talk to him but he had no idea of how to initiate a conversation with Yoongi. 

That call that made them meet in the middle of the night was on a whim and, to be fair, Jungkook was not sure Yoongi wanted to talk to him. He didn’t reach out either. 

Gladly, Taehyung spent time with him during all the days Jungkook decided to stay in and have only nice and calm walks. He also needed to relax, Jungkook knew that; Tae’s work was as demanding as his own.

“Jungkook-ah?”

“Huh?”

“Do you plan on going out today?” Taehyung asked and his eyes were fixed on his phone. 

Jungkook shook his head but realized Taehyung was too focused on whatever it was that was going on in his phone and answered “I should get a suit for the party. We should .”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Tae finally looked at him. 

“Why?”

“I was about to go see Hoseok. He asked if I could come over to their studio to help, just like Jimin and he asked when we met.”

“Have you guys been texting?” 

“Yes.” Taehyung answered quickly and he seemed a bit giddy about it. 

“Is it going well?”

“What?” He asked. “Flirting?” He paused and sat by Jungkook’s side on the couch. “I’d like to think that it’s working. He sounds like he’s also into me and we flirt a lot. A lot . But he’s been busy.”

“He seems like a good guy. Jimin talks about him quite a lot.”

That caught Taehyung’s attention and he bit his lower lip before asking: “Do you think something is going on between the two of them?” He asked, genuinely concerned, and Jungkook widened his eyes. 

He found out Jimin had feelings for Hoseok quickly - but he’s been Jimin’s best friend for years.

“What? Why?”

“Hobi-hyung talks about him quite a lot as well, you know? I wonder if there is something unresolved between them. Don’t want to be in the middle of any kind of relationship drama.”

“You should ask Hoseok.” Jungkook said, simply. 

He knew about Jimin’s feelings about his hyung but he had no idea if Hoseok had some kind of feelings towards Jimin. He wouldn’t bet on it. Hobi just seemed really nice and outgoing. 

“I’ll do that.”

And Jungkook knew he would. Taehyung was really straightforward. He really went for what he wanted. The younger one never knew if he was always like that or if his job with Jungkook forced him to be that way.

All Jungkook knew was that he envied it sometimes. 

“And, well, going back to the topic, we do need to look for suits today. I didn’t bring any. And I bet you didn’t bring one either.”

“How are you so sure?” 

“You’re wandering around in my old clothes because you literally have just a few of them in your backpack.”

“You made me travel on a motorcycle. All I brought was a backpack!”

“Exactly my point.”

“I… Can't we do it later? I can spend the morning with Hoseok and Jimin, help them out there and we meet for lunch and shopping?”

“Are you ready to go?” 

“Actually, yes.” He nodded. “I’m just going to eat something and talk a bit with your mom.”

“My mom loves you already, you don’t need to stay for breakfast for her to like you more.” 

“I like talking to her.” He said nonchalantly and Jungkook smiled at him. 

To be completely honest, Jungkook was worried about how well Taehyung would fit in Busan.

Don’t get Jungkook wrong, Busan was by no means a small city but Taehyung was used to the rush of a big city like Seoul. He moved out of Daegu because he liked the rush and even though they were there for days off, he was a bit worried about whether Taehyung would like spending his time there. He knew that Tae had his own life and all and even though they were best friends, he still wasn’t sure if he decided to come with him only because this way he could keep an eye on Jungkook. 

He promised he wasn’t going there because of it. He said (more than once) that spending time with Jungkook during his days off was going to be amazing because they could be only friends hanging out and no longer boss and employee. 

“Are you going to have breakfast with us? Come on, it’s the first day in the week that you’re up at a reasonable hour.” 

“I’ll be there in a minute.” 

— x —

“Kim Taehyung. You’re a genius!” 

“I’m really not. I just know a lot of apps and things that help our management daily. I’m not the one who invented it. I just really need a lot of this to keep Jungkook’s agenda in check and to work on whatever I need to work at the same time.”

“I didn’t even know about any of this! I’m so happy! This will help us a lot. We can finally have more time!” Hoseok shifted the wheeling chair so he could look up at Taehyung who was standing right behind him. “I could easily kiss you right now! Thank you!” That came out so easily that made Taehyung blush a bit. 

“You could take me out on a date first.” He answered fast so he wouldn’t miss the timing for it and Hoseok blinked a few times before a smirk bloomed on his lips. The older one stood up from his chair and Taehyung took a step back so they could be in front of each other. 

Hoseok was kind of intimidating. He had this aura . Taehyung was taller and visibly stronger (even though he was sure he wasn’t because dancers were really really really strong) but Hoseok was the one who had all the power in their dynamics.

And it was new.

Taehyung’s personality always made him the one to lead in flirting and relationships but between the two of them things were a bit different and it was new to him, intriguing.

“Tonight?” Hoseok asked. “I mean, I have some classes but we can grab a late dinner or something. Or we could do it after the engagement party?”

“We could do both.” Taehyung grinned.

“Already so sure about a second date?”

“Yes.” He said and Hoseok smiled at him. 

“You’re confident.” Hoseok nodded and placed his hand over Tae’s wrist. “So can you pick me up after class tonight?” 

“I don’t have a car because I came in Jungkook’s motorcycle but we could take a nice walk to a place where we can find dinner.”

“That’s fine by me.” He paused. “and if we decide to go a bit far away, I do have a car.”

“It’s settled.” Taehyung nodded. “Now sit back, I have to teach you how to pre-schedule all your payments.”

“Bossy.” Hoseok mumbled to tease him and they got back to work. 

— x —

When Jungkook got inside the small studio, he saw Jimin sitting on the floor, looking at his phone. His bag by his side. 

He got inside the lobby and took off his mask and his cap. “Why are you on the floor?” Jungkook asked after looking around. At least five empty chairs in that room. 

“I like sitting on the floor.” He answered fast, and it was not a mocking tone. He genuinely meant that. 

“Why are you sulking?”

“I’m not sulking.” A fast answer once again. 

“You kind of are.” Jungkook said and Jimin shrugged; He seemed to be about to say when laughter was heard. 

Hoseok’s laughter. 

He was with Taehyung.

“Kookie, finally! I thought you had forgotten about me. Shall we go?”

“Did you eat?”

“Not really, no.”

“Let’s have lunch then.”

“Thank you, Tae. It’ll really help a lot.” Hoseok said and they kept looking at each other.

“Yes, thanks.” Jimin said, still looking at his phone, typing fast, probably texting someone.

“You don’t have to thank me. Really. Anything for Jungkook’s friends.”

“Have you guys eaten already? Want to come with us?” 

“I have to teach in 15 minutes. Jiminie, why don’t you go with them? I bet you’re hungry and you’re free for the day, right?”

Jungkook stared at his best friend and he nodded lightly. “Is it ok if I go with you?”

“The more the merrier.” Taehyung said. “And Jungkook’s paying.”

“I’m the dongsaeng!” He argued, trying to be funny.

“You’re the rich one!” Tae answered and Jimin, for the first time, laughed about something Tae said.

“He’s right, Kookie. You have more money than both of us could ever imagine.”

“You win this time, but I’ll be waiting for the day you’ll treat me to some food!”

“Ok. Someday.” Jimin was the one saying that and Taehyung laughed loudly at that.

– x –

“Do you want to go shopping with us?” Taehyung asked between munching his food. They managed to find a place with some secluded seats. Jungkook was still wearing his cap. “We have to find suits for the party but I know nothing about the city. Jungkook said he knows where to look for but I’m sure he doesn’t.” 

“Hey!”

Jimin smiled at them. “I don’t know…”

“It’s going to be fun, hyung, come on.” Jungkook tried. He would love to spend some more time with Jimin and he would also love to make him a bit happier. He was gloomy… And Jungkook had a feeling it had something to do with Taehyung and Hoseok. 

It was hard for him because his two best friends were interested in the same guy. Of course, Jungkook imagined that whatever Jimin felt was really deep and it came from their shared time together, their growing friendship. What Tae felt was intense and bloomed out of nowhere. Pure attraction. But Jungkook would never invalidate his feelings. 

They came from another setting but Jungkook could tell that both of them felt a lot for Hoseok.

It would be the older one’s decision in the end… if Jimin managed to speak his feelings out.

“Jungkook always told me how we would click together. Why don’t you give us a chance?” Taehyung asked, his voice deep and inviting. 

“Us?” Jimin frowned.

“Yes. Me and you! I like you and you’re the other best friend of my best friend. We should hang out.”

Jungkook was waiting for Jimin to answer that and he knew that Taehyung had no clue about Jimin’s dilemma - and probably all the jealousy - but the younger one couldn’t help but smile. Taehyung was really trying to get to know Jimin. It was genuine.

“I don’t have any more classes today. I guess I could tag along.” He nodded.

“Great!” Jungkook exclaimed and poured himself a bit more food. “It’s going to be fun! We should spend a lot of time together, once I’m back in Seoul I have no idea of when I’m going to have free time.”

Before they could say anything else, Taehyung’s phone rang. It was the company. Jungkook could tell because the ringtone for company calls was the same on his phone. 

“Shit. I have to take this.”

“You’re on vacation!” Jungkook argued. “And I’m your boss!”

“Technically, you are my client. My boss is the one who’s calling.” He messed up Jungkook’s hair on his way out. “Be right back.” 

“You’re really close.” Jimin pointed out, his voice a bit shakier than before.

“Well, he’s my best friend… And we do see each other every day - even now, on vacation.” He said. “You’re sulking again. What is it?”

“I’m not! I just- I met Taehyung before, right? The day you arrived, and I liked him a lot. Really. What’s not to like? He’s fun, outgoing, caring, smart…”

“It sounds like you have a crush on him. Not even me, who works with him, would pinpoint that many adjectives that fast-“

“Hoseok is the one with a crush on him.” He said.

“Oh. I get it.”

“You do?”

“You're jealous.” 

Jimin couldn’t deny that. “I went to the office today and they were laughing and teasing each other while Taehyung tried to teach Hobi something. It felt like I was intruding. So I left and waited at the lobby, when you found me.” He paused. “And I get it. Taehyung is really like a force of nature. It’s impossible not to like him. He makes everyone feel comfortable around him… but he already gets to be your best friend and now he is about to steal Hobi from me as well.” 

“What?”

“I’m glad you have him. I do. I wish I could be the one to do that. I’m not the best at being someone’s best friend.” 

“Jimin, no-“

“And I guess I’m just jealous of him because he gets to be the friend you deserve and gets to have you having his back at all times… and now he’s getting to know Hoseok and Hobi likes him. I can tell.” 

“Wait, wait. He’s not stealing anyone. Not me, not Hoseok.” Jungkook said. “It’s just the way things are. You’re still my best friend even though we are physically apart for long periods. I- We talked about it once. You can count on me whenever you need-“

“I didn’t tell you I opened the studio because I thought you’d be too busy. I needed you but I was afraid of, I don’t know, being pushy.” 

“Where is this all coming from?” Jungkook stopped eating and stared at Jimin. “We talk almost every day and, ok, both of us are busy but I’m here for you! I always am.” 

“Jungkook, you’re an idol.”

“I’m a person, hyung. I’m my mother’s son. I’m your best friend. I’m Jungkook. My work is too demanding and I live in another city, I know that. I can’t be here every day and I can’t even do much from afar but if you need me, you should call me. Easy as that. If I can’t do anything, I’ll find someone who will. Easy. I mean it.” 

Jimin was clearly getting emotional over those words. 

“Why are you doing this? Yah!” He joked, trying to lighten up the mood. 

“Taehyung is not a threat, hyung. You have your settled place with me. And I’m sure Hobi hyung has a very special place for you in his heart too. You’re attached to the hip.”

“I like Taehyung, please, don’t think I don’t like him.”

“I don’t think that. And I’m sure, really, that you would be great friends if you tried. Even better friends than with me. He is your age, you know?” 

“I…” he sighed. “Thank you.” 

“I love you.” Jungkook said and Jimin smiled shyly. The younger one always made sure to say that he loved his friends and family quite often because he was too busy, that was true, and he didn’t want anyone thinking he didn’t care. 

“You’re so cheesy. Argh. Enough of this talk. Eat.” Jungkook chuckled and got back to eating his delicious food. 

— x —

Choosing a suit was difficult, especially because Jungkook was sure the saleswoman was taking pictures of him from afar and he was getting self-conscious. 

“I like this one.” Taehyung said after trying his fourth suit. “It’s fitting and we need that. There is no time to adjust it. The party is in two days.” 

“What about you, Jungkook-ssi? The woman asked and he looked at the mirror once again. He was also trying a suit for the fourth time but he didn’t like it. “I don’t know.”

“You should look for some tighter pants.” Jimin said and he agreed to that. “Can you get some for him to try?” She nodded fast and Jimin smiled. “She’s a huge fan, asked me to tell you she loves your music.” 

For a second there he got relieved. “Thank God, I was starting to think she didn’t like me at all. And all the pictures-” 

“You’re the nation’s sweetheart. I do not know a single person who doesn’t like you. They may not listen to your songs but everyone loves you.” 

“Thank you.”

“And what about you, Jimin? Do you have a suit already?”

“Yeah, I do. It’s not this expensive but, yeah, I do.”

“I’m sure you’ll look good. You’re pretty.” Taehyung said and Jimin blushed at the spontaneity of that sentence. 

He liked Taehyung and his straightforward comments. 

— x —

“You’re telling me you spent the night with Yoongi-“

“I didn’t-“

“You did! The whole night out, at the beach.”

“That’s so romantic, it’s kind of gross.” Jimin teased.

“It wasn’t romantic.” Jungkook tried.

“And you haven't talked since that? What are you waiting for?”

“He didn’t text me either!”

“Dear Lord, you lost your touch.” Jimin laughed.

“I did not!”

“Did he ever have one?” Taehyung asked and Jimin laughed more. 

“Hey! I just- We’re exes!” He paused. “I don’t know how to act around an ex-boyfriend. What am I supposed to do?” 

They were all in Jungkook’s place, in the living room. Jungkook’s mother was outside taking care of the plants and they decided to have some snacks because trying all those suits tired them out. 

“It’s not rocket science. You ask how he’s doing and talk like normal people do.”

“Ugh. It’s weird. I felt really comfortable around him but I didn’t get to know if he was feeling the same… and we pretended it was all ok but we do have a past. We do have to talk. We broke up and it wasn’t nice. You know that.” He paused. “And he must be busy with the party.” 

“You’re finding excuses to not text him. Jungkook, it's just a text!” Jimin rolled his eyes and Jungkook’s jaw taut.

“Ok, fine. I’ll do it.” 

And he really does, sending a quick hey :D

“That’s good. Now we wait.” 

“He won’t answer me that fast. He mentioned that he was helping my brother with the party. He really must be busy right now.” 

“I have nowhere to go.” Jimin said, supportive. “I’ll be here with you so you don’t have to look that panicked.”

“I do know how to talk to other people, hyung. We just didn’t talk for a long while and we didn’t settle what hurt us the last time. Not sure if this is a good idea.”

“We’ll find out together.”

“I would love to stay and be part of this but I have somewhere to go.” 

“Where? Don’t tell me you’re going to work- I’ll call them and say you are on your fucking vacation-“ 

“No. Not work. I kind of have a date with Hobi hyung.” He stood up from the couch. “I should get ready.” 

“A date?” Jimin’s voice was a bit strained and Taehyung nodded. 

“I will pick him up at the studio and we’re going out to eat. I guess.” 

“That’s nice.” Jimin said, his tone soft. “Have fun, Taehyung-ah.” 

“I’ll do my best to give your best friend a good night out.” He said to Jimin who nodded, movements still soft. “It’ll be fun. Hoseok is fun.”

When Tae went upstairs, Jungkook looked at Jimin. He wanted to say something but Jimin beat him to it. “I’m fine. Let’s focus on you.” 

— x —

“Tell me about the people you hooked up with in Seoul.” Jimin asked out of the blue, in the middle of the living room. Jungkook’s mother was in the kitchen, finishing dinner. They insisted on trying to help her but she said that everything was under control.

“What?” 

“Come on!!”

“I told you already and why are we talking about me fucking people when my mother is in the other room?!” He whispered-yelled the question.

“You told me about Yugyeom and the other guy.”

“Junho.” 

“Yes, those, but it’s been what? Almost two years?”

Jungkook remained silent.

“No.”

“Shush!”

“You haven’t fucked anyone in almost two years?!”

“I don’t keep counting. It just… it’s been a long time, yes.”

“You’re Jungkook !”

“Shhhh!” He tried and looked at the kitchen door. “I know but that’s exactly why it’s so hard to date anyone… and, uhm, people look at me like I’m a prize. Don’t like it. Can’t connect with them.” 

“You’re still a romantic.”

“Try paranoid.” Jungkook chuckled at his own pitiful joke. 

“I know it must be terrible for you-“

“Jiminie, terrible? The media tried with all their might to find out if I had a girlfriend, and it would already be the end of the world. If they find out that I also like men, and that I had a boyfriend, and that I hooked up with other people, well, that would be the end of my career.” He paused. “People look at me and put all those weights over my shoulders. They want me to be perfect. Dating a man? Casual sex? Not in their wildest dreams.”

“It’s so weird. All this pressure…”

“The fans and the music make it all worth it but it’s hard. Really hard.” Jungkook shrugged. “So that’s why I don’t have anyone at the moment. That’s why I haven’t slept with anyone for almost two years… And I was busy!”

“Not only because you’re hooked on Yoongi-“

“I’m not!” He hissed. “Hyung broke my heart so, yeah, forgive me if I’m overly cautious about getting into another relationship or situationship, whatever.”

“Alright, alright. Sorry. I was just a bit surprised but I get it.” Jimin raised his hands. “I get it.” He repeated and Jungkook bit his lower lip. He didn’t want to sound that defensive.

“Now, please, let’s not talk about who I’m fucking or not in front of my mother.” He looked at the door again. “Please.” 

— x —

Yoongi didn’t know what to reply. 

He got a message from Jungkook hours before and he had no idea of what to say; he wasn’t sure if Jungkook wanted something or if he only wanted to start a conversation. 

There was only one way to find out: asking.

But he was out, busy with balloons this time around. 

Namjoon really should start paying him for all the effort he was making to make that party a great one.

Yoongi:

Hey! Are you ok?

Jungkook:

Oh! Hi! I’m fine. u? 

Thought you wouldn’t answer anymore.

It was late at night, and Jungkook should be sleeping.

Yoongi:

Sorry. I was busy with your brother. He made me go after golden balloons for the party. 

As soon as I got home, I took a nap.

Why are you up? It’s late.

Jungkook:

It is.

I can’t sleep.

  Yoongi:

Are you sure you are ok? You used to sleep like a baby. 

I remember that even eating made you sleepy. 

A baby.

Jungkook:

I’m not a baby

i’m fine, really. I just got used to long hours of work and a few hours of sleep.

Yoongi:

you texted me earlier. did you have something to say?

i’m sorry i couldn’t reply before.

Jungkook:

nothing important

don’t worry

i’m glad you did, though.

Yoongi:

are u really?

Jungkook:

yes

Yoongi:

are u flirting with me?

Jungkook:

wouldn’t you like to know?

so

tell me

are you sleepy?

They exchanged messages for at least two hours, again talking about life in general. Nothing specific.

Yoongi had so many questions.

So. Many. Questions.

But he would not make them in the middle of the night by text. 

Yoongi:

Jin hasn't decided yet but he’ll probably host a get-together tomorrow night. 

Are you going? 

Jungkook:

if i’m invited, yeah

are you?

i’d like to see you

Yoongi replied that yes, he was going. Jungkook never answered. 

He probably fell asleep. He mentioned being sleepy a few minutes before - and there was no way in hell he would admit he wanted to see Yoongi that easily if he was in his right mind.

Yoongi was about to try to sleep as well but decided to send another text. This one’s for Jin.

Yoongi:

Please, make that little party happen tomorrow.

invite Jungkook, please.

don’t tease me for saying ‘please’, please.

don’t ask too many questions as well

see you tomorrow

night, hyung.

Again, he didn’t know if he was doing the right thing, but Jungkook was his weak link still. 

Jungkook messed up with his head too easily.

And he wanted to see him too. 

— x — 

The first thing Jungkook saw when he turned on his phone the next morning was that his face was everywhere. Pictures of himself shopping with Taehyung and Jimin were all over the internet. People already knew Taehyung so they even mentioned his name in the articles. The pictures were a bit more intrusive than usual. The person who took it was clearly from one of the two magazines who disrespected artists in that way or it was some sasaeng who followed them and sold the picture to the media (that happened quite a lot in the industry) 

He hated that because he knew that now Jimin had probably a shadow (one photojournalist as they liked to be called) after him. And by now they probably already knew that his brother was engaged. The media worked fast and they always seemed to have someone from the inside, it was insane. 

“Morning.” He mumbled as soon as he saw his mother looking at her own phone.

“Good morning, Kookie. Did you sleep well?” 

“Yes, fine.” He was lying. He barely slept. He was too engrossed in his talk with Yoongi in the middle of the night. He fell asleep with his phone in his hands. “Is Taehyung around?”

“He wants to talk to you. He’s outside.” 

“I’ll talk to him in a bit.” He said and sat by her side, hugging her. 

“Someone woke up a bit clingy.” She laughed and he pretended to let go so she was the one pulling him close. 

“I miss having you around so much. You’re so grown up.”

“I swear I’ll try my best to be home more often.” 

“I’d appreciate that but I know that you’re busy.” She paused and threaded her fingers through his hair. “Your hair is so long. It’s pretty.” 

“I always wanted long hair so I’m trying it out.” 

“The bangs are nice. It fits you well.” 

“Thanks.” He smiled at that. His style was always the same, always following what the stylists told him, always black on black on black so when he decided to cut his hair this way, he got a bit anxious if it would fit him. Gladly, he liked it a lot. And people around him liked it too.

“I’ll have some lazy days when I get back to Seoul. I just finished touring and most of my content is already recorded. Maybe you could stay a few days in Seoul with me.” 

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it? When you get back, make sure to call me and ask if this is possible. I’d like that.” 

Jungkook was beaming at that. He sometimes felt too lonely in that huge apartment so the possibility of someone sharing the space with him - even if it was just for a few days, made him really happy. 

— x —

Turned out the company sent some bodyguards to Busan. They were in charge of keeping Jungkook and his family safe and away from the spotlight. 

Especially because someone leaked the information about his brother’s engagement party and people knew even where it would be held. Jungkook was upset over it; he never wanted his family to be dissected under the media's microscope (maybe that was one of the reasons he barely posted pictures of them) and that was what they were doing at that very moment. 

In less than a day, there were threads on social media about his family: who they were and a lot of information with pictures. Jungkook had no idea how they managed to get it. 

Jungkook made sure to call Jin to say what was going on and Jin didn’t seem to care much. “ I have security in my building and the party will be super safe and super private. I do not worry about that. Are you ok? ” He had asked and Jungkook said that he was. 

But he wasn’t, not really. 

The last time he’d been in Busan he was completely free to do whatever he wanted to - still pre-debut, people did not know who he was. He was just Jungkook.

But now he was worried about paparazzi and sasaengs invading his space.

He, unfortunately, was used to this situation but his mother, his brother, and his friends weren't - and he didn’t want them to get used to it, so he asked the bodyguards to call on the cops whenever someone decided to invade their personal space or seemed to be over the top. 

He knew that his true fans would not disregard his messages asking them to let him have private time with his family, so he wasn’t really scared that they would crowd in front of his house or whatever. 

Seokjin also asked him to come for a little get-together at his place that night, just like Yoongi mentioned and it was a bit overwhelming.

Overwhelming because Jungkook was sure he and Yoongi were on good terms and because he missed Yoongi quite a lot.

But they haven’t talked about the serious stuff. They didn’t talk about their past, about other relationships, about Jungkook’s routine in Seoul, about things that could upset either of them. 

They were beating around the bush and Jungkook was sure both of them were aware of it. 

Before coming to Busan, Jungkook didn’t even know if he would talk to Yoongi at all. 

They were broken-hearted when everything ended but it was quite obvious that they missed each other more than they would like to admit. 

Jungkook didn’t know if these little talks they had over the last few days would bloom into some kind of friendship again or if it would fade away just as fast as it began but he knew he should give his all to these moments. 

Living in Seoul and being an idol taught him all about schedule and expectations but, at that moment (after too much thinking before sleeping), he just wanted to go with the flow, to let whatever happens happen. 

His therapist would be proud, he should totally write that thought down to tell her. 

Yes, it’s overwhelming but wasn’t his life full of overwhelming events? 

— x —

When he got into Jin's apartment, he realized he’d never been there. Not even when he lived in Busan. To be honest, he didn’t know if Jin had moved to a bigger one once he decided to live with his brother. 

Jungkook knew too little about them.

The apartment was huge. 

And Jungkook could see a lot of Namjoon there. 

They’d been living together for a while now, so it was only natural after all. 

“Wow. Even your apartment is not as big as this one.” Taehyung said by his side. “How rich is he?” 

“I don’t know for sure. I just know that his family has money.” 

“Oh, wow.” Taehyung was really impressed but so was Jungkook. The living room was gigantic and the view was breathtaking. 

“You’re here!” Seokjin exclaimed and rushed to them, hugging Jungkook tightly. He hadn't seen Jungkook before so he was a bit overly excited. “Everyone is here already. It’s just a small get-together so don’t expect much. I called for food-“ He talked fast and Jungkook nodded, trying to follow up his words.

“I brought some wine. I’m Taehyung.” Taehyung lifted the bag he was holding up, interrupting him, and Jin thanked him.

“It’s really nice to finally meet you properly, Taehyung.” Then he looked at Jungkook. “You look…” Seokjin started, looking at Jungkook. He did take his time to get dressed and even applied make-up on his own - he didn’t use it that much on his free days, choosing to let the skin breathe a little but he wanted to look nice. He even applied eyeshadow.

“Like an idol? It’s the makeup and the expensive clothes, I’m sure you’re used to seeing me in old clothes.” He joked and Jin rolled his eyes. 

“You look hot.” 

“You’re about to promise to marry my brother. You shouldn’t be wooing me, you know?” He tried to lighten the mood and Jin, holding the bag with wine Taehyung brought, laughed.

“You’re so stupid. Glad you didn’t change that much.” He said and Jungkook’s lips curved in a smile. “Where are your shadows?” 

He meant bodyguards.

“Outside. In the car.” He said. “There was one photographer outside my mom’s place but I’m sure we lost him.” 

“Good.” 

“The building has a huge security system as well. You don’t have to worry.”

“You do realize that I’m worried about the people around me, right? I’m good. Kind of used to it by now.”

“You shouldn’t be used to people invading your personal space.” Jin retorts.

“I shouldn’t but I kind of am.” Jungkook said flatly. 

It was true.

Sad but true.

“Go, explore the place and see the others. I’m going to pour some wine for you… Or do you want something else?”

“Wine is fine.” Jungkook said. 

“For me as well.” 

“Alright. Make yourselves at home.” Seokjin hugged Jungkook once again and, damn it, Jungkook wished he could hug for longer. 

He didn’t realize he was that touch starved before coming to Busan.

Jimin was sitting on the floor, his back on the couch. “The others are in hyung’s studio, something about a table for Yoongi to fix and a speaker that he needed to see.” He said as soon as they got closer. “Hi. You look hot!” 

Jimin was holding a glass of wine himself and he was elegantly eating some chocolates. He narrowed his eyes, a final once over.

Jungkook was literally wearing loose black jeans and a white t-shirt, showing his tattoos. His hair was pretty and his makeup was probably doing all the rest.

“Thanks.” 

“You also look hot, Jimin-ssi.” Taehyung was the one speaking and by the way Jimin started coughing, he was not expecting a compliment from Taehyung of all people. 

“Oh, I’m just ok. Thanks.” He thanked anyway and Jungkook was quick to say:

“Did hyung invite anyone else? Or is it just us?”

“Just us.” He paused. “The party is tomorrow, I’m sure hyung doesn’t want to see anyone but us tonight.”

“Why?”

“I’m sure his family is going to make him go nuts sooner or later.”

“Sooner than later.” Seokjin said behind them and Jungkook was startled by his voice. “Your wine.” 

“Thank you, hyung.” 

“They are acting like this is the wedding. It’s ridiculous. Gladly, I was really adamant that Joon and I would be the ones to make all the decisions. They can simply not go if they don’t like it that much.” Seokjin crossed his arms. “But enough about me. You’ll have tomorrow to make it all about me and my beauty. Now I want to know about you, you brat.” 

Jungkook smiled and sat by Jimin’s side; Taehyung and Jin followed him right after and sat around.

“What about me?”

“How was your tour? What’s new in Seoul? Are you seeing someone? Is it true that you have another album on the way? I need you to sign the last one-“

“Why does it sound like an interview?” Taehyung adjusted his posture. 

“Tour was great, it’s the fun part of making new music.” He paused and tried to remember the other questions. “Seoul is pretty, you know that. I know you visited the city quite a few times. You should go there to see me and also watch a concert.” Jungkook suggested being fully aware that Namjoon would never go to his concert and that maybe Seokjin wouldn’t want to make him sad. “I do have an album coming up but it’s too early to talk about it… And, no, I’m not seeing anyone. As you can tell by the shadows outside, people follow me quite a lot and I can’t just be seen hooking up. I’m an idol.” 

“Boring.” He smiled, teasingly. Jungkook shook his head. 

“I’m not boring.” 

“He really isn’t.” Taehyung backed him up. “Jungkook is the life of the party whenever we have one.” 

“That is also a lie-“

“It’s not! I saw you dancing last time.” Taehyung remembered and Jungkook felt his cheeks reddening.

“I like to dance.” He added but before he could say anything else, a voice Jungkook knew too well resonated from one of the rooms:

“Seokjin-hyung, I’m about to kill your boyfriend one day before you get engaged. I advise you to keep him away from me!” 

Yoongi marched to the living room, eyes focused on Seokjin. He was holding a toolbox, wearing a blue apron and gloves. His hair was tied up in a messy bun and he was walking fast. “I just fixed the table and he almost let a hammer-“

“I was just trying to help, and I needed it-.” 

“I’m sure you know how to get around with tools. I’m actually sure of it. I’ve seen you do it!-“

When they got to the living room, they realized at the same time that Jungkook was sitting there. 

It came as a surprise to both of them, who quickly stopped exchanging accusations and stopped picking on each other.

Namjoon narrowed his eyes. 

Yoongi blinked a few times before believing in his own eyes. He didn’t ask but he kind of knew Jin would invite the younger one but Jungkook was late and Yoongi thought that he wouldn’t show up at all. 

“Hi.” Jungkook said and the playful expression on Namjoon’s face shifted to something serious. 

“You’re here.” Yoongi said and Jungkook nodded. 

“Jungkook and Taehyung arrived not long ago.” Jimin said.

“Hey, you!” Hoseok yelled when he showed up in the living room right after following Namjoon and Yoongi. He hugged Jungkook and Taehyung before sitting between the latter and Jimin. 

Namjoon also was polite with Taehyung, getting to know him for the first time ever and asking. 

“Are you boyfriends or something? Why did you bring him here?” He asked, and for a second there Jungkook thought he was being protective of him. It sounded quite nice for Jungkook but he answered what he’s been saying for a while now.

“No. Tae is just a really good friend and he works with me as well.” 

“It’s really nice to know you, Namjoon-ssi. Jungkookie talks about you quite a lot.”

Namjoon only nodded tightly and turned to look at Yoongi. “Give me the box, I’ll put it away.”

Yoongi didn’t really have time to tell him he could do it. Namjoon grabbed it and went in the direction of what Jungkook assumed was a kind of closet.

“Excuse me. You can go to the kitchen, if you want something to drink, Hobi.” Jin was after his boyfriend while talking. 

“Let me guess, no one told my brother I was invited again?”

“Actually, he did know about you coming here but you’re both late so we thought you wouldn’t show up.” Hoseok answered what was on the tip of Yoongi’s tongue. “It’s really surprising for me to see Namjoon so uptight.”

Jungkook sighed and looked between Jimin and Yoongi - who was still standing up - “I think I should go-”

“No.” Yoongi answered quickly, catching everyone’s attention. Hoseok snickered. “I mean, you’re welcome here. Jin invited you and Namjoon knew… You don’t need to go.” Yoongi added and Jungkook sighed again, taking a big sip from his glass of wine. 

Yoongi finally sat down, by Jungkook’s side. 

— x —

Jin and Namjoon came back to the living room when the food arrived. They were sitting around the table, Namjoon right across from his brother and Jungkook didn’t fail to notice how it was the closest they’d been in a long, really long, time; 

Yoongi was still by Jungkook’s side. 

They haven't talked to each other yet. Only the basics.

It was driving Yoongi insane. 

They talked about Jungkook’s busy life and he apologized once again to the paparazzi who would probably try to catch a glimpse into his friends’ lives because now they knew Jungkook was in Busan and visiting them all. 

“At least, this time we’re sure your friends wouldn’t sell your pictures-”

“Tae!” Jungkook tried shushing his best friend who widened his eyes, not really understanding why it was such a big deal.

“What?” Seokjin asked in a whisper and Jungkook rolled his eyes. 

“It’s nothing, really. It’s just that- I had my fair share of terrible friends and once one of them took pictures of me at parties, selling them after to the media. The company had to make quite a deal to make those photos disappear. Imagine what would happen if the nation’s sweetheart had drunk photos exposed.” He grabbed more food and stuffed his mouth, waiting for a teasing tone, waiting for anything light. His friends only looked at him with worry.

“The piece of shit tried reaching out after but even though Jungkook hates fighting, I don’t.” He said, proudly. Jungkook remembered the day Tae met the guy backstage and gave him a piece of his mind. At that time, Jungkook was not worried about other people seeing that. He was actually happy to see Tae defending him.  

“Is that the reason why you-” Jimin started and stopped right away. Jungkook gave him a sympathetic look before asking:

“What?”

“You mentioned that you felt lonely a few times, when we talked on the phone.”

“Uhm, it’s really hard making friends with my tight schedule and when a lot of people only want to be with me for a picture to increase followers or for five minutes of media attention.” Jungkook smiled a bit. “It’s not that bad, I swear. Sometimes, I do miss my old life and miss you guys a lot but it’s fine. I know my way around fame nowadays.” He smiled, trying to ease the stern faces in their friend’s faces.

“You shouldn’t get used to having shitty friends. I’m glad you know how to pick them out.” Namjoon’s voice was heard for the first time since they sat down to talk. 

Jungkook had to school his expression to not smile at the fact that his brother was talking to him.

“But you do have all of us as well. We’re far away but I’ll easily kick some celebrity ass for you.” That ripped a laugh out of Jungkook. Jin was being serious, though. 

“Thank you, hyung, but I’m sure I have enough bodyguards for it - and I know you all see me as the youngest and all but I’m all grown up now… You don’t need to worry about me. I mean it.” 

A few drinks more, a few hours later, they were all laughing at something Jimin said.

Jungkook was not sure what because he went to the kitchen to grab a few snacks; Seokjin told him they had gummy bears somewhere-

“First drawer near the fridge.” Yoongi’s voice. It came from the door. Jungkook found the drawer and grabbed a few chips and candies before turning around. He could feel the heavy gaze on his back; he knew Yoongi would still be there. 

“Thanks.”

“I think your brother and Hoseok might be a little drunk. Maybe we should get them some water as well.”

“Good call.” He placed the packages on the kitchen counter and turned once again, this time so he could get three bottles of water inside the fridge.

“Their fridge is organized by section.” Jungkook snorted and put the bottles near the chips. Only one in his hand because he was thirsty as well. 

“For the amount of money Jin has, he’s a pretty humble guy.”

Jungkook agreed with that right away. 

Yoongi took a few steps until he was close to Jungkook, he grabbed the bottle from his hand and took a big sip of water. 

He was not sure exactly why he was doing that.

Jungkook’s eyes were trained on Yoongi’s lips until he shifted his gaze to his throat and it was even worse to keep his cool. Jungkook gulped. 

It was hard for him to focus on whatever they said to each other when they broke up when Yoongi got dangerously close, or when they had nice talks.

It was especially hard because there was too much history, and too much pent-up tension between them. 

“I always thought I’d be mad at you for, like, forever.” He shrugged his shoulders. Yoongi’s eyes searched for him as soon as he lowered the bottle, barely any water inside.

“You don’t hate me.” Yoongi affirmed.

“I guess not. You don’t hate me either.”

“I don’t.” Yoongi finished the rest of the water in one go. “But we’re avoiding the important stuff that went down. I noticed, I’m sure you did too.”

Jungkook nodded. “I’m sorry-”

“No, we’re not talking about that now.” Yoongi interrupted him and an inviting smile formed on his lips. “I don’t want us to get hurt tonight.” That made Jungkook take a deep breath. He knew Yoongi was probably right but the fact that they both knew that a talk about everything would probably just hurt more than do any good was quite scary. “I just- I missed you.” The older one said and Yoongi seemed to not believe that he was actually saying those words. If Jungkook wasn’t astonished to hear that, he’d probably think Yoongi was quite adorable. 

“The wine is making you say things you’ll regret, hyung.” Jungkook warned.

“I’m not drunk. I didn’t even finish my wine. It’s back on the table.” A pause. “I came here, to the kitchen, because I wanted to talk to you. Talking to you by text is really easy and all but I wanted this. To look at you.”

And it was true. Yoongi spent the whole week thinking about Jungkook and he wished he had a better excuse for it, better than that he missed him, but he really did. 

Jungkook had become a distant memory… and it was kind of easier to get through the day because Namjoon also didn’t talk much about him; he reserved those comments to Jimin, who also knew how hard it was for Yoongi so he barely talked about Jungkook when it was only him and Yoongi. But, now, Jungkook was there, in front of him, talking to him… and also calling him in the middle of the night, texting randomly.

Yoongi could at least pretend that things weren’t so brutal between them, between their feelings, for a while. 

Jungkook, on the other side, was just the same. Getting by without thinking about Yoongi was easier day by day because people didn’t know Yoongi existed and it made things a bit easier - except for the moment when Jungkook reminisced about their relationship when at home or when he talked to his mother on the phone and she decided to tell him all about Busan. 

“What Taehyung said, about people pretending to be your friend and all so they can get a closer glimpse of you and your life… Is it true?” 

“Yes.” He answered quickly. “Not like that anymore, but it used to be. I just… I don’t have many friends in Seoul. I don’t trust anyone that easily, not anymore.” 

“It sounds scary. And sad.” 

Jungkook shrugged and wanted to get out of the spotlight of that conversation. “What about you? Made any new friends around here?”

“Uhm, you know Hoseok already.” He was talking while thinking. “And I enrolled in some courses so, yeah, I kind of met a lot of new people… I even work with some of them who moved to Seoul for work.” 

“Oh, that’s nice. You told me you were working on some songs. You need to send me some of those. I want to hear it…. and also hear something Namjoon-hyung produced.” Jungkook smiled weakly. “You found a way to work in the industry without being in Seoul for it.” 

“Yeah, I think I did.” Yoongi said and it turned into an awkward silence for a second. Jungkook looked down and sighed. They just said they wouldn’t make this talk any heavy and here they were. 

“I… Uhm… Have you dated anyone?” Jungkook decided to finally ask, he was already there, diving into a conversation that he was not sure should have even started so, yeah, he was doing it to himself.

Yoongi took his time to answer. Jungkook pretended he didn’t really care, eating more of the gummies in his hands, not really looking back at his ex-boyfriend. 

“Do you really want to know that?” Yoongi asked, his voice was not as soft and desperate as before, it was cautious. 

Jungkook had his answer.

And, of course, he expected that. 

He also had some flings.

But they were just that: flings. 

He didn’t have the time nor the patience to deal with a relationship under the covers… especially because more than just hiding the relationship itself, it was just twice as hard to hide that he also likes kissing men. 

It was too much effort. 

Too risky.

He got interested in a dancer, a really pretty and tall woman from his crew but never acted on it. It was hard. 

Yugyeom and Junho were kind of easier to meet because people didn’t pay too much attention to him when he was at guys’ nightouts. They didn’t make it a big deal when he spent the night at their place. 

Just two good friends hanging out.

Easier because he didn’t let it grow into a relationship, to a serious one. 

It would be nearly impossible to have a boyfriend, per se.

So, yes, he expected Yoongi to have had flings during this time.

He expected him to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, which would hurt more because that would mean he made it work with someone else for a while; that he was the go-to person for someone else; and that he shared a lot of feelings with them. 

That never happened to Jungkook, not after Yoongi.

It was so silly to care that much about it. 

“I kind of do, yes. But not really.” He answered the contradictory sentence and Yoongi chuckled.

“Look at me.” The older one said and Jungkook did. He looked up at him. Gummy bears in his hand. “Do you want to know?”

He shrugged and put the gummies inside his mouth. “Why not?” He asked. “We were not dating and we’re not together now. I’m just curious.” 

Yoongi blinked a few times and, after a few seconds of consideration, then said: “Yes, I did.” 

Jungkook didn’t know why he was surprised to hear that. He, logically, knew. He imagined. 

“Oh. You said you’re single so it clearly didn’t work out.” He paused. “What happened?” 

“I didn’t know you’d ask questions.” He joked and Jungkook blushed. 

“I didn’t mean to-“

“No, it’s ok. Yeah, it didn’t work out.” He paused. “I actually slept around quite a lot after we, you… After we broke up.” He was gesturing quite a lot.

“Oh.”

“And then I started dating this guy.” 

“Do I know him?” 

“No. His name is Yijeong. He’s quite nice.” 

“Mhm.” 

“We broke up not long ago.” 

“Oh. So you must still like him.” Jungkook tried and Yoongi snorted a bit.

“I do like him. He really is a great person… But it ended because I didn’t like him enough.” 

“You never told him you loved him?” Jungkook joked, a sinister and sour taste in his mouth when he said that. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to-“

“He asked to marry me. I said no. We broke up.” 

That took a turn. 

Jungkook took a second to understand what he had just heard.

“I think I’ll need more wine.” Jungkook laughed weakly and put the package he was holding down on the counter. 

“You said you wanted to know.” Yoongi remembered.

“I did.” He answered and his head was still wrapping around the information. He brushed by Yoongi’s side, getting to open the fridge, searching for more wine. He knew they should have some in there. 

And he found it. 

He poured himself a glass of wine and took a sip from it. 

“Are you regretting what you asked?”

“No. It’s good to know.” 

“And what about you?” 

Jungkook widened his eyes and chuckled, smiling behind the glass near his lips. “No one asked to marry me, no.” 

“I figured, or else you’d be news everywhere.” 

“Do you search for me in the news?” He tried to lighten the mood and not answer the questions. Jungkook got quite good at misleading conversations.

“Sometimes.” Yoongi said. “Sometimes you just pop up. You’re just that famous.” Yoongi then took a step closer. He was just in front of Jungkook, who halted his breathing for a second due to the closeness. “What about you?” He asked again. “Or you can’t say because they’re also famous?” 

“I didn’t really date anyone. I had this, uhm, casual encounters?” He tried and he couldn’t hold his laughter after his choice of words. 

“Casual encounters?”

“I’m not- I didn’t get to sleep around- I didn’t want to, actually- and we, uhm, that’s it. I’m famous. It’s really hard to date, you know?” He paused. “And it’s not that recent either.” Jungkook didn’t know why he was sharing that part.

Yoongi believed him, he knew he did, but there was some kind of curiosity still in his eyes. 

Jungkook smiled at him and tried to compose himself; he was the flirty one between them, not the other way around. 

“Is that everything I’m getting? I shared a lot.” Yoongi said.

“You did not, and, yes, that’s all you’re getting. Maybe you can overthink it and I can tell you later if you’re right or wrong.” He shrugged his shoulders and his big eyes stared right back at Yoongi’s. 

Yoongi nodded at that and took the glass out of Jungkook’s hands, taking a big sip of it. 

That wine was strong and not sweet at all. 

“That’s mine.” Jungkook said, fake complaint. 

“It’s good.” Yoongi pointed out and Jungkook took the glass back. 

“It is.” Jungkook drank a bit more. 

They shared a look and it was clear to both of them that there was some kind of tension - sexual tension - between them still, which kind of freaked Jungkook out a bit.

It freaked him out how easily he could fall back into what he tried really hard to climb from.

“Oh, God, Jungkookie. We've been waiting for those snacks for so long!” Jimin showed up at the door and it startled Yoongi enough for him to take some steps back.

“Can you take the snacks there? I’ll talk to Yoongi a bit more.”

Jimin shifted his gaze between the two of them wondering what was going on. Yoongi looked just as surprised. 

“Are you sure?” Jimin asked, looking straight at Jungkook. 

“Mhm.” 

He also gave Yoongi a look, making sure he was also ok with that.

When Yoongi and Jungkook broke up, Jimin was there to help both of them - but he was slightly more protective of his dongsaeng, and everyone knew it.

“Do you really want to keep talking?” Yoongi asked as soon as Jimin vanished from the kitchen, talking loudly in the living room. 

“Yes? Don’t you?”

“Actually, yes.”

They talked and talked for almost two hours. None of their friends interrupted them during this time and Yoongi wondered if Jimin asked them not to. 

They talked about Yoongi’s songs, Jungkook’s songs, Jungkook’s life and how it was to be on tour. 

“I’d like to hear some of them.” Jungkook said when silence fell over them. “I didn’t search for any of your works. I just… wanted to be distant. I guess.”

“From me?”

“Well, yes. We broke up and I knew you worked with my brother - who also doesn’t really like me so, yeah. I tried my best to avoid your name.”

“That’s cruel.”

“Nothing about us breaking up was nice.” Jungkook acknowledged. “I know you must felt that way too.”

“Yes, to be fair, I didn’t search for your songs. You just became so famous that it was everywhere.”

Jungkook chuckled at that. “I’m sorry about that.”

“They’re great. Your songs. Your albums. As soon as you started training, I knew you could make it.”

“It was quite hard.”

“I can imagine that.”

“When we broke up the first time, I didn’t really believe that was happening. I thought to myself that it was just a matter of time until you decided to go to Seoul and stay with me. I thought you were scared but if you gave it enough thought, you’d try to be there.”

“I was scared. When you asked me, I spiraled. I guess I was thinking you’d go to Seoul, collect some money and then go back. You were living with your father, thinking about a future there and you included me in it without even talking to me.”

“I guess I was just over-excited, trying to make everything work. I wanted all the good parts of Busan there with me, that included you.”

“Your father would never allow us to date.”

“I was an adult-”

“But you were living under his roof-”

“We could’ve found a place for us. You were afraid of commit-” Jungkook argued, the same tone he used that day. Yoongi realized he was getting a bit worked up.

“Jungkook. It’s in the past.” Yoongi reminded him. “We’re here now. Why dwell on those things?”

“I’m not dwelling on them, I just wanted you to know how I felt. I said that because we were talking about music and, at that time, I thought that you would’ve made it big in Seoul, selling your music.”

“I kind of do it while living here.”

“Yes, you mentioned.” He paused and it was clear how he had a lot to say still. “I’m also quite proud of you.”

“Are you?” Yoongi smiled. “My life is not as luxurious as yours.”

“Not everything is about money.”

“Yes, you’re right.” Yoongi was still smiling. “Look at you, all grown up and shit.” That made Jungkook roll his eyes, playfully. “You know what? I don’t know if I should say this but I’m really happy you’re here. I’m happy we’re talking.”

Jungkook stared at him for a while, he felt just the same. “Me too, hyung.” He nodded. “Maybe one day we could talk about the past.”

“Maybe we could talk about the future instead.” Yoongi suggested and Jungkook didn’t know how to respond to that, so he remained in silence for a few seconds before saying:

“I think I should get going.” 

“It’s early.”

It wasn’t. Not really.

“I need to rest for the party tomorrow and I have to-“ 

“Jungkook?” He was interrupted by his brother’s voice. The light expression on his face hardened a bit. “Can we talk?” Namjoon’s voice was raspy and a bit strained.

That seemed to surprise Yoongi as well, who shared a meaningful look with his ex-boyfriend. 

“I was about to go to the living room and find Hoseok…” Yoongi started. It was a lie and both of them knew that. Yoongi stepped in front of Jungkook and whispered: “Fighting.” for only him to hear.

The older one rushed out of the kitchen and gave Namjoon a look at Namjoon, almost questioning what he was doing. Namjoon just waited for him to leave.

“Hyung-“

“Let me speak first.” Namjoon started. “Please.”

Jungkook nodded. His heart was already a confusing mess thanks to Yoongi and now Namjoon was making him even more nervous.

“I don’t know why you’re here in Busan. I don’t know why you’re here in my place… So I thought it would be nice to talk frankly with you.” He paused. “I didn’t want you here. I didn’t want Seokjin or Mom to invite you, damn, I didn’t want you to know anything about this engagement.” Jungkook wanted to ask why but he promised to let Namjoon talk first so he listened. “I didn’t want you to know because I knew you’d show up. I knew that even if you were busy you’d make time to be here. That’s what you do.” He paused. “You can’t physically be here most of the time but I know all the times you call mom to make sure she’s ok or the times you call Jimin or Jin to make sure everyone is ok as well. I know all of it. And it makes it really hard for me to be angry at you- and you know what? I’m not angry anymore.” He confessed and based on his own expression, it was something he was saying for the first time out loud. “I’m not. I wished I was, but I’m not. At least, not like before.” Namjoon was keeping his distance from Jungkook. “I didn’t want you here because I don’t know how to act around you. I didn’t want you here because seeing you makes me remember everything that went down, makes me remember Jongho and how you ran away.”

“I didn’t-”

“You kind of did.” Jungkook disagreed completely with that and he would wait for his turn to say what he couldn’t for the past years but, yeah, if that was how Namjoon felt, he’d let him speak what was on his heart. “I asked you so many times to stay! You decided on a whim! And when I was trying to make you stay, trying to tell you that we could manage it, you were already talking to Jongho, asking for jobs and a place to stay.”

Jungkook took a deep breath, he had so much to say.

“That hurt so bad!” He exclaimed and then schooled his expression and lowered his tone, not wanting his friends to hear them. “I was doing everything I could to protect you from him, to protect you from everything and when you told me you wanted to move out so you could get another job, you didn’t even take into consideration what I was telling you. I- We were there, we know what happened. I just- That’s not why I asked to talk. I just need you to know that I didn’t want you here. I’m not mad about it; if anything, I’m most sad about it because it’s not how it’s supposed to be-”

“And how was it supposed to be, hyung?” Jungkook decided to ask, not holding back his words any longer. “You never gave me a chance to talk, you never gave us a chance to reconcile. You stopped talking to me, blocked me from everywhere, never showed up at my concerts, never called on my birthday and not even texted on New Year’s,” He paused. “You get sad by looking at me but you never moved an inch to make things better between us. It was always me. You made me carry the weight of being alone only because you were selfish enough to not recognize that I was trying to do what I could to help our family. We didn’t have anything to eat, hyung!” Jungkook was talking fast and suddenly all the guilt and shame he used to feel transformed into something bigger than him: “I’m sorry! I really am sorry I didn’t tell you before calling father; I’m sorry I hurt you in the process but we needed the money. We needed it! I’m tired of feeling guilty for something that was our only way out. I tried for jobs, I tried really hard, you know that!” His eyes were getting teary and Jungkook sighed, and closed his eyes for a second to hold back his feelings. 

He didn’t notice the moment his friends entered the kitchen, cautiously. 

His brother had that sharp look still, but Jungkook could see how he was also holding back a lot by looking at his eyes. 

“Going to Seoul was our only way out; It was the perfect plan, I’d work, make money, send it to you guys and it was one less person to feed at home- I… It was so hard to watch you and mom doing everything and not being able to do anything. I didn’t choose Seoul as a place to run away, I didn’t go there to live with my father and try to have a happy life with him. I went there because it was that or living in the streets; he owed me, at least, a bed to sleep in after everything he did to us. I never imagined that my life would become this. I never expected to be famous. I was there to work with whatever and I’d be perfectly happy if I kept making coffee as long as I knew that money could provide for you and mom. What happened, happened, and thankfully I can make enough money for us not to worry about it anymore.” He said. “I don’t even talk that much with father; I made sure to leave his home as soon as I could but I don't even know if you know that. Do you care at all? I don’t think you realized it was a really hard decision to go there and even harder to stay there. I left everyone I know and love behind. I left my whole life behind, I left everything in Busan, hyung! So, no, you don’t have the right to come to me and say that looking at me makes you sad because it makes you think about how I fucking ran away.”

“Ok, guys, you should stop.” Seokjin’s sweet voice tried to interrupt Jungkook’s rant and he was putting himself between the brothers. 

“No, I finally got him to listen to me! I felt guilty and I felt bad because you hated me, you were very clear about it and it was cruel, hyung. I know dad is a jerk, trust me, I know. I was there when everything happened and I lived with the guy long enough to know that he is a piece of shit.” Jungkook let out. “And even when you made sure to let me know over and over again how much you despise me, I decided to come to your party after being invited by your boyfriend. I kept hoping you’d change your mind, listen to me, try to understand me… And when Jin invited me, I thought you knew about it and I thought you wanted me here so, yes, it hurts a lot when you say you don’t want me here but say that you wanted things to be different when you never tried.” He snorted. “You can’t say that.” A beat of silence. “As you said, I try my best to be here for the people I love and I know I’m mostly busy but I try my best, I always try my best for everyone around me. I’m here now and I told you over and over again that if you don’t want me here, just say the word and I’m on my way back to Seoul. What’s stopping you? You enjoy watching me crawl for attention that much?”

“Mom wants you here.” Namjoon answered almost as a reflex. “Jin and the others too.”

“What about you? Do you really mean it when you say that you don’t want me here or you just say it to make me feel bad?”

“Jungkookie-” Taehyung also got between them when Jungkook took some steps closer to Jin and Namjoon, staring right at his brother. 

“I think you should leave.” That’s all Namjoon answered. “It’s late.”

Jungkook felt his heart pounding inside his chest and he left a humorless laugh out. “Of course.” He replied, knowing that Namjoon would not try to talk. “I don’t know why I expected you to actually listen.” He shook his head and looked at his brother waiting for something, anything. 

Nothing. Namjoon was avoiding his eyes. 

Jungkook wondered if he was affected by any of his words; if he would try to understand him. 

“I’ll go but I need you to know that I won’t wait forever, you know? I’m so tired of feeling bad about what happened to us. I’m your brother!”

“Jungkook, come on, we should go.” Taehyung tried again and Jungkook sighed, nodding right after seeing Namjoon leaving the kitchen and going to the giant corridor. Jin gave him a sympathetic smile. “Don’t worry, Kookie, everything will be alright.” He said and rushed out after his boyfriend. 

“You’re crying.” Yoongi said and Jungkook frowned at that. He didn’t feel the tears, too blinded by his own emotions. 

“I’ll wash my face and then we’ll go.” He said to Taehyung who agreed. Jungkook rushed outside the kitchen and went to the bathroom, not really caring about closing the door or not. He just needed to erase the tear stains from his face.

He could hear faint talks but tried to not hear what his friends were saying. He splashed some water on his face and was startled when he heard: “I think Namjoon needed to hear that.” 

It was Yoongi. 

“I’m his best friend but even I can say that he was being stubborn when it came to you two. He’s hurt, mostly for what your father said years ago. I think that, maybe, his way of accepting that you would leave Busan was by hating you, by holding this grudge.” Yoongi got inside the bathroom, staring at Jungkook in the mirror - he was standing right behind him. “I think it was his way to make your absence hurt a little less.” Yoongi didn’t stop looking at him when he added: “I know I tried to do the same. I tried to hate you, and that made everything easier… But then time passed and I thought you’d be the one to hate me. Either way, it made everything a bit easier.”

Jungkook didn’t stop looking at his ex-boyfriend through the mirror until the silence was broken by:

“I can take you home, if you want.”

Another beat of silence. Jungkook’s eyes didn’t leave Yoongi’s through the mirror. 

“Or I can ask Taehyung to call someone. He told us you didn’t come with your motorcycle-” Yoongi didn’t complete his thought. Jungkook shifted and turned around, his back on the sink, his front way too close to Yoongi. 

“I tried hating you so bad too.” Now, Yoongi was the one in complete silence. He knew Jungkook had more to say. “But it didn’t make anything easier. It was just as hard. Then I started hating myself for everything that went down between us, about what went down between me and my brother, about what went down-” Jungkook was talking fast; he only stopped talking when Yoongi put his hands on his waist.

Jungkook blinked a few times and gulped. It’s been so long since the last time someone made him feel safe only by touching him. 

Jungkook liked being touched, liked feeling the love and care of his skin. He liked hugs, kisses, lingering touches… And he missed it all so badly. 

“Do you want me to take you home?” Yoongi asked once again. Jungkook was thankful he was trying to make the youngster not think much at that moment. “I can take you and Taehyung; I can also take the others-”

Yoongi didn’t get to finish his sentence. 

Jungkook’s lips were against his. 

Jungkook was kissing him.

Jungkook was fucking kissing him.

And he didn’t know what he should do; He didn’t know if he should kiss back, if it was a mistake, if it was Jungkook’s messy feelings playing a big role in his actions. 

Jungkook, on the other side, felt how unresponsive Yoongi was and it was enough for him to regret acting on an impulse. He put his hands over Yoongi’s shoulders and pushed him away a bit - since he couldn’t take steps behind - , stopping the kiss. “Shit, I’m sorry.” He mumbled, looking straight into Yoongi’s eyes to properly apologize. 

Jungkook kissed Yoongi simply because he wanted to, because he wanted to feel.

Because he wanted to reply to what Yoongi said with actions.

Because the tension between them was suffocating.

Because he wanted to remember how safe was to be held and kissed by Yoongi. 

Because he had nothing to lose.

Turned out that the fact that Yoongi wasn’t kissing him back made him feel like he was falling into an abyss. 

For a second there, he felt like he was free-falling.

He used to feel safe kissing Yoongi but, for those seconds, it became too scary.

When he put distance between them, he stared at Yoongi trying to understand if he had read all the signs wrong, if he was the only one thinking about it, if-

He didn’t have time to think much more because Yoongi got closer again, one hand leaving his waist and holding his face. A second later, the older one was kissing Jungkook. 

This time, the kiss was not rushed and unresponsive. It was mainly lips touching, not going any more deep than that. There was tons of emotion in it. 

Too many emotions;  more than what they could handle. 

More than what they wanted to face at that moment. 

But neither of them stopped. 

Jungkook’s lips were exactly like Yoongi remembered, soft. He still kissed with all of his might and it gave Yoongi shivers down his spine. 

The younger one placed a lot of small kisses on Yoongi’s lips, putting a pause to it, and making them stop for a bit. “I- I think I should go.”

He didn’t want to but he was well aware that he was kicked out of Namjoon’s house a few minutes ago and that kissing his ex-boyfriend in the bathroom could lead to more impulsive decisions.

“Should I take you there?”

“I think it’s best if I call someone. Don’t want anyone following you and trying to write articles about you.” Yoongi frowned. “There are a few paparazzi around my mom’s house.”

“Oh, alright.” Yoongi took some steps back, cleared his throat and tried to stop staring at Jungkook’s shiny and reddish lips before saying: “Are we going to talk about this?”

“We should but not tonight. I just want to go home, take a shower and go to sleep.”

Yoongi bit his lower lip, stopping himself from asking if Jungkook would leave for Seoul - now that Namjoon and he had this argument, it was possible. 

“Alright.”

“I really should get going.”

“Alright.” Yoongi repeated and Jungkook gave him one more meaningful look before leaving the bathroom, and going around him.

Chapter Text

“I’ve never seen you like that.” Taehyung mentioned after all the silence between them inside the car and when they arrived at the house.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized. “I just- I just couldn’t keep my cool.” 

“That’s fine. It’s understandable, really. Your brother never listened to your side of the story and you were finally able to do so. I’m just sorry that it ended how it did.” 

“I think we should go back to Seoul, Tae.” He blurted out what was on his mind, even though it was not what he really wanted.

“Yeah?” The older one was clearly not that happy about it but Taehyung had this great quality (that sometimes was not so great for him) that he cared a lot and that he would never put his friends in a position they didn’t want to. It was an amazing quality for the field of their work; he never convinced Jungkook to do what he didn’t want to. 

It reminded him of Jimin quite a lot. 

“I don’t know. I mean, I’m obviously not invited for tomorrow and I promised myself I would not ruin Namjoon’s day and here I was arguing with him the day before his engagement party. I know I needed to say what I said but wasn’t it too selfish? I could’ve waited-“

“He went after you to talk, Jungkook. Why are you trying to blame yourself again? It’s not like you were both right but it’s not like you were both wrong. It was pent-up anger and disappointment. It was just natural to end up in an argument and you know what? Brothers fight. A lot. I’m sure you’ll sleep on his word and he’ll sleep on yours. At least, now you shared what was inside of you. If he decides to keep avoiding you and making you feel bad whenever you’re close, we’ll, that’s his choice. You laid all your cards down.” He paused. “And so did he.” Taehyung bit his lower lip before adding: “You clearly care about each other. Visibly. If you didn’t, neither of you would make any kind of effort. If he didn’t want to talk to you at all, he could just pretend you don’t exist. I know how that feels because that’s how my family treats me.” He said and those raw words made Jungkook’s breathing halt for a second. Taehyung never talked about his family. It was a sensitive topic, Jungkook knew it. “May I say what I think?” Taehyung continued.

“Sure, go for it.” 

“I think Namjoon hates your father a lot.”

Jungkook snorted at that. He knew that. Everyone knew that. “He does.”

“And he feels frustrated. By what he said, it’s clear that he felt betrayed when you went to Seoul but, mostly, it sounds like he was frustrated for not being the one to help you.” Taehyung reasoned. “I think he’s more angry at himself than he is at you.” Taehyung smiled lightly. “Maybe it’s a family thing, you know? Take the blame for everything.”

Jungkook thought about it once as well. 

He thought of all the possibilities. 

“You told me once that he had to grow up too fast and he tried hard to be the responsible one, right? I’m not trying to justify his actions and his words but I think that he doesn’t hate you and that he really is not sad to see you. I think he’s frustrated that he wasn’t there for you for this chapter of your life and it hurts him that your dad was.” Jungkook nodded slowly, considering every word. “I just don’t know if he realizes that, so I think he mistreats you because he doesn’t know why he’s feeling what he’s feeling.” 

Jungkook only stared at his best friend; Taehyung had such emotional intelligence; he was an old soul for sure. 

Sometimes Jungkook envied him for it. He was great at one-night stands because he never got too attached - and only because he knew he shouldn’t. He also read people easily and he was always too transparent about what he was feeling - except when it came to his family, which he didn’t talk about at all. 

“Hyung gave me everything and he taught me a lot. I’m so thankful. He must know that already.” He paused. “He just can’t get over what dad said to him when we were young and I get it, I really do. I was there. I saw it and I was figuring myself out at the time, it messed me up as well but I never told anyone that because it wasn’t about me. It was about him and I was there for him!”

“People heal differently, Kookie.” Taehyung smiled weakly at his friend. “I remember you told me that when your father fought with you two, he especially insulted your brother and his sexuality. I’ve been there and, just like him, I’d do anything to not need to look at them again in my life. He thinks you ran away but, after what you said, he might think about it and try to understand.”

“Do you think so?”

“I really believe that he will try, Jungkookie. He was being kind of nice in the living room when we were all talking. He’s a good person… And a bit shy, even. I always thought that a teacher would not get easily flustered in front of people. I was wrong.”

“He left the room and-“ Jungkook got back on talking about their argument.

“He was probably digesting everything you said. It probably hurt him. No one ever put your perspective on the situation in front of him; maybe he was overwhelmed. Just like you are.” He paused. “When you were talking to Yoongi in the kitchen, he asked a few things about you. One of them was if you were out to your father. I told him that I was the only one who knew and he was visibly upset at that.” 

“I don’t know-“

“He told you, Jungkook. He wanted to protect you and I guess that the fact that you can’t fully be yourself in Seoul must upset him a lot. Maybe he’s scared you’re going to go through a wave of intolerance just like he did - and that you possibly will deal with it by yourself - since you’re not on good terms. I don’t know him at all. I don’t know what he’s thinking but I’m good at reading people, you know that.”

“I understand, but how cruel is this? He’s my brother, hyung- You know what? I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Jungkook sighed, his head hurt.

“If you want to go to Seoul, just say the word and we’ll go.” Tae said. “I only brought a backpack, it’ll be easy to pack.”

“Really?” 

“I’m here for you.” Taehyung said it like it was the most obvious thing ever. 

“And what about Hoseok?” 

“I literally just met him…” Again with emotional intelligence… But there was something there. A hint of disappointment? Jungkook couldn’t pinpoint. “And I can talk to him over text and I can take some days off and meet him-“ 

“Oh, you’re serious about him.” Jungkook frowned. He never knew about Taehyung following up with someone. Taehyung was always too busy for relationships and he always said that his heart was too big, that he could love a lot of people… He never talked about previous relationships. All Jungkook knew was that he had been in serious relationships before. The younger one was sure he got dumped because of all the bitterness around the topic, but Taehyung was great at avoiding questions… And Jungkook learned his lesson, he stopped asking. He was sure that Taehyung always made sure to share what he felt comfortable with and that was more than Jungkook could ask for. He knew Taehyung trusted him but people heal differently, just as Tae said. 

“I’m not- I just like him, that’s all. I mean, I’m excited about him and our talks… It would be nice to stay more and see him a bit more but I’m here for you, I just said it. Say the word and I’m packing.” Taehyung was staring at him. “And my boss made me promise I wouldn’t leave you alone, so...” He joked. 

“You’re not working!” He exclaimed. “I’ll call the company and turn off your phone-“

Taehyung chuckled. “I have bills to pay, Jungkook. I just take orders.” 

The younger one sighed, making a mental note to really talk to the company about it. “I can’t leave in the middle of the night without saying bye to my mother.” 

“We can leave in the morning.” 

“That’s better, yes.” He paused and then looked at Taehyung once again, this time hesitating.

“What?” Taehyung noticed that he had something to say.

“I kissed Yoongi.”

“What?! When?! In the kitchen-?”

“No, when I went to the bathroom to wash my face, he followed me there and we ended up kissing and it was rushed, emotional, impulsive… and great.” Jungkook said, letting out a lot of air.

Taehyung blinked a few times. “And you want to leave in the morning? Without saying bye to any of them? Without saying bye to him?”

Jungkook sighed. “Yes? Uhm, You know what? I just need a shower and some sleep.” He was nowhere near making decisions that night. He really should get to bed and think… And maybe text Yoongi. 

— x —

“I think we should go.” Jimin said after a while. He was sitting on the floor by Hoseok’s side and in front of a really quiet Yoongi. Namjoon and Jin were still inside their room. “I don’t know if Namjoon will leave the room and it is quite late so we could-“

“Jungkook kissed me.” Yoongi blurted out before he lost the courage to do it; and he looked up at his friends. 

He wasn’t sure of what to expect. 

He didn’t know if they would be happy for him, or worried, or maybe that was just him. 

Yoongi’s eyes were wide and he was clearly overthinking, Jimin could tell just by seeing his expression. 

“He did what?” Hoseok, who was drinking water, almost choked and asked after composing himself.

“He kissed me. I went after him, right? He kissed me and then he left and said that we would talk about it but not tonight because, yeah, a lot happened. It was rushed, impulsive and I’m not even sure if he realizes what he did. I think he just needed to feel something, to ground himself.”

“Hyung, you’re his ex-boyfriend. He wouldn’t kiss you if he didn’t want to.” Hoseok pointed out. He was angry but he didn’t kiss me or Jimin. He kissed you, his ex-boyfriend - who clearly still has feelings for him.” Yoongi decided to ignore the last part of Hoseok’s rant and said:

“But- it was weird. Great! Really great! But the timing was off and I told him how I tried to hate him and we talked a bit and he just went for it.” He paused and was trying to see if his friends had anything else to say. “I kissed him back and, oh shit, I shouldn’t have-“

“Why not?” 

“Because it was too hard to get him out of my head the first time and now I see him a couple of times and everything is overflowing. And then we kiss? It’s messy already! We should just try to be friends or, at least, acquaintances. He’s famous! He barely comes to Busan; there’s no way we are going to-“

“Ok, breathe a little.” Jimin said. “You’re overthinking and you’re worried. Understandable but you need to chill. Talk to him tomorrow, everything will be ok. You were always great at communicating when you were together so just keep it up.” Jimin smiled, comforting. “I’m sure you guys have unfinished business and maybe you’ll talk and things are going to turn out great… If they don’t, well, I’m here for both of you to cry.” He teased and Yoongi tried to take it lightly, but he was sure that maybe, just maybe, Jungkook had the power to break his heart once again. 

Maybe he also had the power to break Jungkook’s heart once again as well. 

There was no way that could end well. 

Why was he only reasonable when he was not in Jungkook’s presence?

Why was it so hard to keep his distance?

For some reason, Jimin’s voice and Hoseok's reassuring look were always great at calming him down. 

It’s been a huge while since the last time Yoongi was so confused and so on edge.

Jungkook did that to him. Jungkook always left him on the edge of feelings.

“I think you have nothing to worry about, hyung.” Hoseok said simply and they were all interrupted by the couple showing up again in the living room, holding hands and Namjoon visibly calmer, eyes a bit lost… Yoongi didn’t fail to notice that he searched for Jungkook in that room.

“Uhm, sorry.” The younger one of the couple was the first to speak.

“Nothing to be sorry about. Sit down. Let’s drink some more before we have to go.” Jimin tried to lighten up the mood and Jin smiled at him. 

“Already? It’s not that late.”

“It is, hyung, and you two need your beauty sleep for tomorrow.”

“I’m down for more alcohol… And you can stay for more, really.” Namjoon said and Jin agreed quickly. When Namjoon got distracted while saying something to Jin, Yoongi made sure to share a look with Hobi and Jimin and mouth “ please, don’t tell Joon.”

He was not ready to tell Namjoon that he and Jungkook were in this mess that probably none of them really knew how to solve.

Seokjin kissed Namjoon’s hand and they got back into the conversation.

Yoongi envied their relationship sometimes, the amount of love and how easy their relationship seemed to be. Ever since day one, everyone knew they were it to the other. They were complete when together and Namjoon's clumsiness matched Jin’s overprotective personality. They were perfect together. 

People (Yoongi’s family) usually said the same thing about him and Jungkook, but well… Look at them now.

Yoongi wondered quite a lot if people thought that his relationship with Jungkook was something to be envied; or even his relationship with Yijeon . Yoongi wondered if his friends ever looked at him and one of his boyfriends and thought that they were perfect for each other just like he did when it came to Namjoon and Jin. 

Of course, he knew about their struggles and fights - both of them looking for him whenever they needed to talk - but they were so strong together that it was almost impossible to see any different outcome when it came to them. 

Of course, they’d get married.

Of course.

“Are you guys excited about tomorrow?” Hoseok asked and he managed to get a smile out of Namjoon, a shy one.

“I’m not ready.” He said and before everyone in that room could question him about it, he added: “It’s a huge party and there’ll be tons of people. I’m nervous about meeting everyone in Jin’s family. Nervous about talking to so many people.” He looked at his boyfriend: “But I’m excited to be your fiancé.” 

Jin pressed their hands together and smiled at him. Jin was always shy whenever Namjoon said love confessions like that.

Yoongi smiled at them. 

Maybe there were people destined to be together with someone… Yoongi was not sure if he was one of them. 

—- x —-

“Enough about that. Enough about me. I’ve been dying to ask Hobi something.” Jin started after they spent quite a while trying to talk about the party and make Namjoon a bit more comfortable after what happened. “You seemed pretty close with Taehyung…”

“Aish, why make it about me?” He laughed loudly. “We went on a date already.” He proudly said. Jimin shifted his gaze to the wine bottle in front of him.

“Did you? When?”

“Last night.”

“Was it good?”

“He didn’t kiss me.” He pointed out. “But, yeah, it was good. We said we’d see each other at the party but then you invited us here and all…”

“He’s really handsome.” Jin said and everyone in the room agreed. “Really polite and he seems to be quite a catch, you know?”

“Should I be worried?” Namjoon asked with a pout and Jin kissed it away. 

“I’m just saying! Why didn’t you kiss?”

“I don’t know? I’m not that great at taking the initiative… I mean, I do take the first step eventually but he’s been the one to do it in our dynamic. It’s stupid, I know, I should’ve done it… But I also got a vibe from him.”

“Yeah? What vibe?”

“Hm, that I should take things a bit slow between us.” 

“Slow? It’s not like you have a lot of time. He’s going back to Seoul in a few days. I thought you were just going to hook up.” Jimin let out a hint of annoyance in his tone. 

Hoseok said: “I feel like things can get a bit serious… I don’t know, I guess I’m just excited about it. I may be thinking too far. Don’t mind me.” Hoseok added, a bit shyly, not leaving space for others to talk about it more. “Ok, but let’s not talk about me. I’m going to get some water, please, feel free to talk about someone else's love life.” The dancer got up quickly and went to the kitchen avoiding any further questions. 

“Jiminie, you should make your move-“ It was Namjoon’s voice waking Jimin up from his own thinking - he was staring at Hoseok until he left the room. 

Jimin shook his head sharply. “We’re not talking about me.” 

And that was it. Final.

His friends knew that tone and they knew when to stop talking about it. It was a sensitive topic to him, after all.

Jimin didn’t want to talk about it. 

He heard about the date Hobi went before; his friend texting him right after. 

Hoseok seemed impressed by Taehyung and really interested. He was a good friend and listened to it all even if his heart was breaking at every word. 

— x —

Jungkook woke up startled. His ringtone blasted against his ear and he rushed to grab it under his pillow. 

“Hello?”

He didn’t check who was calling him.

“Jungkook-ah? I’m sorry I’m calling this late…” 

It was Namjoon, which surprised - and alarmed - Jungkook a lot.

His family only called in emergencies.

“Namjoon-hyung, what’s going on? What time is it?” 

“It’s, uhm, three. In the morning. I want to talk.”

“What’s going on?” Jungkook asked again. 

It was an emergency, right? And Namjoon called him and not his mother so he was starting to get a bit frantic about it.

“I’m sorry for calling. I thought it was important enough to call but then I realized it is the middle of the night and, well, you’re already awake-“

“Talk. That’s it? No emergencies?”

“No. No emergencies.”

“Oh, shit, you almost gave me a heart attack.” He sighed. “Now?”

“Yes. I’m actually down the street. Two minutes and I’m there.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” 

—

“Why are you here?” Jungkook asked. He was sitting on the couch, far from his brother, engulfed in one huge gray sweater.

He had no idea of what Namjoon would want to say in the middle of the night after they argued. 

“I told you, I want to talk.” 

Jungkook had lots of questions and he was still sleepy. He just adjusted himself on the couch and stared at his brother.

“I want you there tomorrow.” Namjoon said after what felt like three minutes of complete silence. 

Jungkook stared at him still, not really saying anything. He could tell Namjoon had a lot to say. “I really do.” His voice was tiny and strained. “I- You gave me a lot to think about.” He paused and made sure to look at Jungkook’s eyes. “I never thought about your side of the story. I know you had your reasons and mom, Yoongi… Everyone… They always tried to tell me what was right in front of me, but I was always so blinded by hatred and hurt that I didn’t listen at all. Really. I just tuned out whenever they talked about it.” He continued: “And I never wanted to hear anything from you because I always thought you’d hurt me even more. I always thought that whatever you would tell me, it would feel like being stabbed. Again. So I made it very clear that I didn’t want you to speak with me. I know how that sounds and it’s terrible but I’m telling the truth.” 

“Ok.” Jungkook’s voice was only a whisper. 

“What you said today, oh well, we don’t have to repeat all that… But I get it. I get it now. It’s not easy to understand because I have my own feelings but I get it now.” He started fidgeting with his hands. “I don’t expect everything to just be ok by tomorrow but I’m here to apologize, for not listening and for leaving you behind for so long.” 

“I’m sorry too, for a lot of things, but I never intended to hurt you in any way. I did what I had to do. And you know what? I’d do it all over again, if needed.” 

“I know.” Namjoon smiled at the corner of his lips. He knew Jungkook was stubborn and that he would do anything he could to make people around him happy, even Namjoon - who ignored him for years.

“It was not easy, hyung. It still isn’t.” He crossed his arms, trying to hold back himself. “I left everything behind, my family, my best friend, my boyfriend… But I knew we needed it. We needed it so badly. I got lucky, yes, in the middle of the chaos I’ve found out that I’m good at something, maybe the only thing I’ll ever be good at. Thankfully, it pays me enough money to make all of our lives comfortable now and I barely look at father nowadays. I can’t just ignore him because he does work in the same place as I do… But I didn’t forget what he did to you. I didn’t choose to go after him. I needed his help so I could help you and Mom.” Jungkook’s eyes were sharp. “I train for I don’t know how many hours per week, I have a lot to do and I have my own life, you know? I’m not there for him or because of him.” He paused. “I’m sorry if my decision, at the time, made you sad and hurt but we needed it.” He repeated. Namjoon nodded, trying.

“I want you there tomorrow. At the party. I came here at this hour because I had this feeling you’d leave in the morning and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you did, unless you don’t want to go-“

“Do you really want me there?” Jungkook’s voice was small and his bulk body and aura didn’t look that confident anymore. 

“I do. I know it won’t be easy for us to, you know, go back to what we were. I know that. I’m aware of that.” He said. “But I want to try. We should start somewhere- and I want you there. I wanted you close quite a lot.” 

Jungkook could say the same but he didn’t want to ruin the silence and Namjoon’s words. “I really missed you, hyung.” He bit his lower lip. “I know I hurt you but you hurt me a lot too. I want to try as well. Let’s do this. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore and it makes me crazy to think about it.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t go to your concerts.” The older one said. “I did listen to your songs and bought your albums online. I am proud of you, Kookie. A lot. You’re really good.” 

That was enough for Jungkook to break; he was holding up quite well but hearing that made him remember all the nights he spent doubting himself and wanting to be reassured, wanting to talk. 

His eyes got teary and he dried them quickly, before he started crying. 

“Thanks. It means a lot, hyung. Uhm, there’ll be another concert, you can go on the next tour.” He smiled weakly and adjusted his hoodie. “I’ll give you good seats.” He promised, still with teary eyes and Namjoon’s heart broke a little. Jungkook sounded fragile and vulnerable, it made his older brother wonder how many times he had to hide his feelings to be The Jeon Jungkook. 

“I’ll take Jin with me next time.” He smiled and Jungkook nodded.

“Alright.” To be honest, Jungkook really needed a hug. A tight one, but he wouldn’t ask for it. Not yet. “It’s late, are you staying?” He asked instead.

Namjoon looked at his watch and tilted his head. “I guess I will. I’ll text Jinnie and I’ll sleep in my room.” 

“Yeah, we should get some sleep. You’ll have a big day tomorrow.” Jungkook tried to lighten up the mood. 

“I’m so scared, it’s not even funny.” He confessed and Jungkook felt his heart skip a beat to hear his brother saying something that worried him after so long. “Jin’s family, they’re filthy rich. I don’t even know if I know how to eat around them.” 

“You’ll be just fine, hyung.” The younger one said. “You want this, marry Jin hyung, right?” 

“More than anything.” He sounded extremely sincere. Jungkook was not used to hearing his older brother open up his heart, not with him. 

“You’ll be fine.” 

— x —

When Jungkook woke up, his brother was drinking coffee by the kitchen door and his mother was talking from inside.

“Good morning.” Jungkook mumbled, going after his own cup of coffee. 

“Good morning.” The two of them replied; his mother stopping what she was doing to hug him. 

“Namjoonie told me you talked.” She said, it was clear that she wanted to see for herself that they were trying to be ok. 

“Yes, we did.” 

“I’m so happy, you both can’t even imagine how full of love my heart is now!” Her voice was loud and excited, making the brothers giggle a bit with her enthusiasm. 

“Calm down, mom.” Jungkook said, hugging her back. Namjoon watched them from the door, a small smile on his face. It made Jungkook remember the old days. “You should be hugging Namjoon-hyung, he’s the one getting engaged tonight.” 

His mother let go of him and rushed to his brother, hugging him as well, and saying sweet words. 

“Seokjin is a really great guy. Everyone knew you would end up together-“

“You’re lying. When we broke up, I didn’t know if we’d ever get back together… I’m actually impressed, and happy, that we made it this far.” 

“Broke up?” Jungkook asked. She nodded and Namjoon started: 

“Last year, things were not great for us… So we broke up for a while. I guess it was five or six months apart.” 

“No one ever told me that.” The younger one frowned.

“I didn’t want you to know.” Namjoon shrugged. “I thought Jinnie would tell you or Jimin…”

“Why did you break up?” Jungkook asked, genuinely curious but Namjoon didn’t seem that comfortable to share about it. “I mean, you don’t need to answer-“

“I got a bit obsessed with work for a while— Look, it doesn’t matter. I just, uhm, we fought a lot for all these stupid things and I was too stubborn.” 

“You are stubborn.” Jungkook agreed.

“Yeah, I kind of am.” 

“Seokjin almost found someone else in the meantime…” Their mother said and Jungkook widened his eyes.

“What?!” Jungkook asked, not really believing what he was hearing. “When? With who?”

“We were apart for almost five months and he called me to ask if it was ok for him to have a date with someone else. He said that he felt the need to talk to me about it even though we were broken up. I said that we weren’t dating anymore so he could just do what he wanted. I know he went there but the part that matters is that I went after him and we made up.” 

“I’m glad you went after him.”

“Your brother was miserable. He spent all those months writing sad songs and trying hard to be alone. Yoongi was the one who didn’t let him isolate himself.” 

“I was not miserable-“ 

“You were.” Mrs. Jeon retorted. “Not even your students could cheer you up.” She continued.

“Ok! But now we’re happy and I’m about to get engaged to him, so, please, let’s not talk about this. Where is Taehyung?” He quickly asked, trying to change subjects and Jungkook was still trying to digest the fact that Jin and Namjoon broke up for a while and he had no clue about it. 

He remembered a time when he performed in Busan and he invited Seokjin there. At the time, he sounded cryptic, and uncomfortable and denied the invitation. It might have been during their period apart. 

“Jungkook?”

“Oh? Sorry. I was thinking about something. Tae, I don’t know, he must be sleeping. Why?”

“He is really nice, huh? I got to talk to him a bit last night and even though we didn’t say much, I could see how protective of you he is… And he is really interested in Hoseok.” 

“That he is. He and Hobi-hyung went on a date and they’re getting to know each other.” Jungkook mentioned. 

“It would be great if they started dating. Taehyung is really handsome and Hoseok is such a nice person-“ Mrs. Jeon said.

“I actually got a bit confused if he was interested in Hoseok or Jimin, at first.” 

That sounded quite absurd to Jungkook. He saw Taehyung flirting with Jimin, calling him handsome and making small talk, but he was way too invested in Hoseok. Jungkook thought that he was trying to include Jimin in their talks to win him over so he could date Hobi-hyung without having to worry about his best friend talking trash about him. 

But, well, if Namjoon was right, that wouldn’t be the first time.

Taehyung was really open when it came to love. 

He loved in a lot of ways.

“I don’t know.” Jungkook said. 

And it was true, he didn’t know what Tae thought of Jimin. He didn’t know if Jimin would ever confess what he felt to Hoseok. He didn’t know how all of that mess would unfold and he learned to not meddle when people are trying to figure themselves out. 

Maybe he would ask later. 

— x — 

Namjoon went home to get ready for the party right after having breakfast with his family. 

“You’re back.” Seokjin said as soon as he saw Namjoon. The older one was still lying in bed. 

“Hi, love.”

“Good morning, baby.” 

Namjoon knew how much Jin hated it when he didn’t change clothes before sitting or lying on the bed but he couldn’t help it this time. 

“Is everything ok? How was it?”

“I think we’re ok. At least, we’re trying. I am willing to try.” 

Seokjin beamed at that and shifted a bit so he could look at Namjoon. “That’s really great to hear, Joonie. And how are you feeling about it?” 

“I missed him, you know that. It’s a bit awkward and sometimes we both forget that the other knows so little about our current lives. I don’t know anything about Jungkook’s life, if I’m being honest. I don’t know who his friends are, if he is dating anyone, what he likes to do after a concert—“

“Baby, you’ll be able to talk a lot from now on. Give it time.” 

“It’s just a bit weird. I still look at him and feel part of the anger and disappointment, but I know better now… And when I was going there, I was thinking about all the times we could’ve been together, spending holidays, texting, and I didn’t.”

“No, you’re not doing this.”

“What?”

“Blaming yourself for something that’s in the past. We need to focus on what you both can do now. No focusing on the past, please.”

Namjoon nodded and a tiny smile bloomed on his lips. Jin caressed his face for a second but he was interrupted by Namjoon pulling him by the tiny waist. Seokjin yelped. 

“What—“ He laughed. Namjoon manhandled him and put the older one over him. Seokjin adjusted himself and straddled Namjoon, his hands on his boyfriend’s chest. Namjoon’s hand on Jin’s thighs. The older one was wearing only a shirt, naked underneath - just like every day. He hated wearing pants to sleep and that included underwear. 

“It’s kind of late and you’re still in bed. Are you ok? You’re such an early bird and you didn’t get up, not even to get dressed.” 

“Yes, everything is fine.” Seokjin assured him. “I was waiting for you. I also had a bit of a headache. I tried to not drink any wine last night but, yeah…”

“Did you take an aspirin? Want me to go get it?” Namjoon asked, now a bit worried and being careful enough to whisper his question. Jin smiled at him. 

“I’m fine, really.” He leaned a bit and placed a quick peck on Namjoon’s lips.

The younger one didn’t even realize when he started drawing circles with his fingers on Jin’s waist and thigh while talking. 

They were so domestic and so in love that their touches were always comforting, always sexy, always loving. Even though they were really used to it, it was never boring between them. If anything, they were so sure of each other that it was exciting. 

Namjoon let his hands wander a bit and Jin said in a whisper: “We shouldn’t get carried away… We have a lot to do… Joonie!” He called out his boyfriend and laughed loudly when Namjoon’s hands pressed the older’s ass. Namjoon also laughed and shifted them again, this time Seokjin was on his back and Namjoon was hovering over him, their faces really close, their lips brushing against each other: “I love you so much.” Namjoon said and Seokjin rolled his eyes, his ears red, a blush creeping up to his neck. 

“I love you.” He replied. “You still have some time to think if you really want to do this.” 

“What? Getting engaged to you?” Seokjin nodded lightly, his hands caressing Namjoon’s nape slowly. “I really want it. I want you. I want us. For as long as you have me.” He paused. “I know we can’t really get married, not here, but I want it all. We can get married in another country or just have a ceremony anywhere you want it. I don’t need a paper to be your husband. I just want to tell everyone that I love you and that I’m here, loving you, for as long as you want me.” 

“You can say that tonight… The wedding, well, we can think about it some other time but I’d like to be as official as it can get. I want everything.” 

“And you’ll have it. We’ll have it.”

“I think you’ll have to deal with me forever because I’m thinking that far.”

“Fine by me.” Namjoon whispered. This time his lips caught Jin’s and he started slowly, with languid movements, just as relaxed as they always were near the other. 

It only changed when Namjoon shifted again, this time his leg between Jin’s legs and when he pressed down a bit, a crude moan ripped out of Seokjin’s mouth. 

The friction was too good. 

“Fuck, baby— If we’re doing this, let's do this fast. We have a lot to do— Namjo-o-on!” He whined, overwhelmed by the touches, his horny thoughts clouding his mind. 

“I only need three if I’m making you come with my mouth.” Namjoon said and Jin was sure his brain stopped working for a second.

“You’re too confident. Are you sure you can do it? Then get to it, baby.” 

“Gladly.” Namjoon left another kiss on Jin’s eyes and got to it. 

(Seokjin lasted more than three minutes and they ended up doing much more- and getting late) 

— x — 

They arrived at the rented space - which Jungkook realized was a hotel - and he hated to see so many paparazzi.

“Shit.”

“It was expected, really.” His mother said, her hands gently adjusting his hair. “But Seokjin has a great security team, they’ll stay here. Outside. No media inside.”

“And Seokjin-ssi said that he’s asking everyone to hand in their phone at the reception; that he has almost fifteen photographers to register everything and make the guests happy. He won’t allow pictures with personal phones and cameras. I mean, he said it would be a big party and all but this place is huge.” Taehyung pointed out. “Really. How rich is he?”

Jungkook’s mother snorted and shook her head: “Very rich.” She said. “He did say that the venue was not that big but, well, he showed me the guest list once and I was already expecting something extravagant.”

“That’s good, the security part.” Jungkook got back to talking. “But he didn’t need to go through all this trouble for me.”

“He just wanted to make you comfortable.” 

“And I’ll make sure to thank him for it.” 

When Jungkook entered, people from Seokjin staff started talking, probably surprised by his presence. 

He didn’t want to steal the attention so he quickly said to his mother that he’d like to lay low, being on the corner and not drawing too much attention.

Seokjin’s relatives didn’t seem that impressed though, which was great. 

A few kids asked for pictures and that was it. 

After twenty or thirty minutes in the party, people were no longer stopping to look at him and the fact that none of them had phones was great because Jungkook was not hyper-aware of his surroundings and his own actions. 

Seokjin showed up in front of them not much after that. He looked stunning; Jungkook wondered if Namjoon had already seen his boyfriend. 

“Hello!” His hair was shining and his skin was glowing. Seokjin bowed politely to his mother-in-law who quickly pulled him for a tight hug. He also hugged Jungkook, who complimented him. Taehyung also made nice comments especially about what he was wearing and Jin got a bit shy. 

“You arrived on time. A lot of people are still on their way but make yourself at home… We have food there, the dance floor is on that way, there is also a place to relax near the garden and, for the family, we made sure to book some rooms-…”

He kept talking and Jungkook realized it was not a hotel per se, it was a big mansion, with a big garden and a huge free space - that was now all decorated -. “You can go up and rest at any time and even if you decide to crash in here, it’s ok. Here.” He then gave a key to Jungkook and another one to Mrs. Jeon. “I’m sorry Taehyung-ssi. The rooms are only for family but if you feel like you drank too much or if you don’t want to bother Jungkook’s driver to take you home later, there’ll be some drivers outside to take you.” 

Taehyung was stunned.

As much as Jungkook.

“Oh, sure, yeah. Ok. Cool.” He said and Jungkook laughed. 

“Thank you, hyung. This is bigger than I thought.” 

“The place?”

“The party.” He explained and Jin nodded. 

“I wanted to do something big. I know a lot of people as well…” He started justifying and Jungkook shook his head, making him stop. 

“It’s great, hyung. You deserve everything! I just- I didn’t know there was a place like this on the outskirts of Busan.” 

“It’s nice, right? Look, feel free to drink and eat and if you want anything ask the staff, they’ll get it to you.” He paused. “And that’s about it. If something goes wrong, tell Joonie about it. I don’t want any more stress.” He confessed and they all laughed. 

“Everything’s great, hyung, really.” 

— x —

Yoongi was sitting by the bar, alone. Jungkook wondered if he should go there to talk to him but, at that same moment, a tall guy approached Yoongi who, with a smile, replied. 

“Why are you here by yourself?” Hoseok asked and it took a second for Jungkook to realize that he was talking to him. 

“I thought Tae was with you.” The younger said, not really answering. 

“He was. He is. I just went to the restroom. I’m sure he and Jimin are talking somewhere.” 

“Taehyung and Jimin? Together?” 

Hoseok smiled. “They don’t really get along, do they? I mean, they’re always nice to each other but I think that maybe Jimin is a bit overprotective when it comes to me and you, well, his friends in general.” 

“Yes, maybe that’s it.” Jungkook would very much like to say that Hoseok had his two best friends wrapped around his finger but he let it slide, not wanting to meddle. 

“Why are you here alone?” Hoseok tried again. 

“I’m not- I mean, Tae was here with me but he went after you and the couple are busy… I was just about to go there-“

“Oh, with Yoongi-hyung?” Hoseok wiggled his eyebrows. “It’s cute. Both of you- oh.” 

“What?” He followed Hoseok’s eyes, still on Yoongi and his guy friend, laughing and clinking drinks.

“I didn’t know Yijeong would come. I should go there and say hello.” 

“Yijeong? Hyung’s ex?”

“Yes.” 

“They look, uh, good together.” Jungkook tried to pretend he was not phased by it - and he shouldn’t be! 

“They are exes, Jungkook. You have nothing to worry about. It’s over for a reason.” Jungkook pondered and was about to say that he was not worried and that he and Yoongi were also exes, that they also were over for a reason when Hoseok said: “Hyung told me you kissed him last night.” 

“Oh.” That was everything he managed to voice out loud, not knowing how to react. He hadn’t talked to Yoongi about that kiss yet, he was not ready to talk with his friends either.

“You shouldn’t do that if you only plan to mess with hyung.” Hoseok’s voice was serious, a tone lower than how it usually was. He was trying to be a good friend and Jungkook really appreciated it; he liked to know that Yoongi and Namjoon still had such nice friends.

Jungkook wasn’t playing a game with Yoongi, he wouldn’t. 

“I don’t plan on it. It happened and, well, Yoongi and I have a lot to talk about, I guess… Or maybe not. Maybe we should just leave it be.” If Hoseok wanted to say something to that, he didn’t. He only stared at Jungkook for a second or two before adding:

“And you shouldn’t be worried. They are exes, they are just being nice to each other. You don’t know Yijeon, but I do. He was always nice and couldn’t hurt a fly.”

“He must have loved Yoongi a lot.”

“Well, he did ask to marry him. I think that maybe he still does but he respects hyung quite a lot.”

“Yoongi and I are exes as well, you know? And it’s also over for a reason.” Jungkook said what was on his mind.  

“You know it’s different.” Hoseok said, simply. As it was obvious. “I heard Yoongi talk about you quite a few times and, well, it’s different.”

“Is it?” 

Hoseok looked at Jungkook with fire in his eyes. It was clear how ready he was to defend Yoongi, if needed. They were best friends after all. Jungkook might be someone he looked up to as an idol but he clearly didn’t like the way Jungkook was talking at that moment.

“Well, if you’re that insecure about yourself…”

“It’s not that- It’s just. I know that what Yoongi and I had was strong and all but he told me he almost married this guy, what they had must’ve been strong as well, wasn’t it?” Now he was fishing for information and something inside him knew Hoseok would answer exactly what he wanted. 

“It was a strong relationship, yes, but Yoongi says that he didn’t love him enough so they are better off apart.” The older one said and it matched with what Yoongi had told him the prior night. 

Huh.

“Yoongi never told me that he loved me.” Jungkook sulked for a second.

“But you know he did.” Hoseok said instead of questioning more. It didn’t seem to surprise him. Jungkook gulped. “Even I know this, just by what he tells me.I just told you, it’s different. When he talked about you, there was love all around his words.” He paused. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Yeah, maybe deep down I knew it… but I needed to hear it, you know? I needed more and he gave me nothing.”

To be fair, he knew it. Yes. It was obvious that Yoongi loved him. Their touches, the times they made love, their kisses, their care towards each other… Everything screamed love. There was no way someone could fake it that well. But Yoongi never said it back, never let himself say those words, not even when it mattered.

And, oh, how Jungkook wanted to hear those words that night.

Jungkook sighed.

That was totally not the reason why he decided to go to Busan. If he knew he would spend a lot of time thinking about his ex-boyfriend during the whole stay here he probably wouldn’t have come… It’s too hard to confront his past, his regrets and his doubts all at once.

The guy is laughing with Yoongi and they’re visibly talking about the drinks in their hands. 

“Should I go there?” He asked and Hoseok shrugged. 

“I don’t know? You do what you feel like. I need to get back to my date.”

Jungkook wanted to tell him that he should be careful, that too many hearts could be broken by him at the moment. “Can we talk tomorrow? I mean, I have something to talk to you about but I don’t want to do it here.” 

At first, Hoseok nodded slowly, a frown of confusion on his face, and then he agreed vocally. “Yes, sure. Tomorrow.” The older one left Jungkook alone once again and went after his best friends. 

Jungkook decided to not interrupt Yoongi and his ex-boyfriend, especially because he didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. He and Yoongi might have kissed the prior day and they still had to talk about it but he couldn’t be moved by jealousy.

Unfounded jealousy. 

He grabbed his first flute of champagne.

— x — 

Yijeong was always nice to talk to, that was something Yoongi could easily say. He’s very attentive and very curious, every conversation with him always extends and he never makes Yoongi feel like he is bored with the most random talks.

He couldn’t shake the fact that he felt Jungkook’s gaze over them for a while. He thought, at first, that maybe Jungkook wanted to talk to him but he quickly realized that Jungkook was probably jealous.

Which was crazy.

They weren’t boyfriends anymore.

He was probably just searching for some familiar face to talk to.

But Yoongi could tell by the way Jungkook poked inside his cheeks with his tongue that he was annoyed.

Ugh.

“Are you ok? You seem a bit distracted.” Yijeong said and Yoongi looked into his eyes right away. 

“No, sorry, I was just wondering if Namjoon needs me to help with anything.” 

“Do you want to look for him? I can help… But I’m sure he’s probably making out with Seokjin somewhere. It’s been a while since they are nowhere to be seen.”

“No, it’s fine. He would call, right?” Yoongi said and when he got his eyes back to where Jungkook was, the younger one was no longer looking. 

“You know? I heard that your ex-boyfriend is here.” The man in front of him said, no bite in his words, just general curiosity.

“Who? You?” He joked. Yijeong rolled his eyes, a quirky smile on his lips.

“Namjoon’s brother.”

Yijeong knew Jungkook was famous, he knew everything there is to know about Yoongi and his past… They were boyfriends after all.

He knew Yoongi really well. He knew what Yoongi liked and disliked, he knew his favorite food, his favorite songs… Just like Jungkook once did.

“Yes. He’s here.” He answered. “It’s only right, his brother is getting engaged.”

Yijeong was never the one to get jealous of Yoongi’s past. He was never jealous of Jungkook, and not even about all the guys and girls Yoongi hooked up with before they started dating… Maybe because Yoongi was always adamant to say that his past was in the past.

Anyway, they were no longer together, he shouldn’t be jealous at all.

“Have you seen him?”

“Yes, I did. He’s staying with his mother and I went there with Namjoon once… And then we kept meeting a few times randomly…”

It was clear how he had so much more to ask but he just nodded at the information and quickly changed the subject.

“You’ve been busy lately. I barely could get a hold of you.”

“I had to work twice as much so I could free my schedule to help the couple. Turns out, Jin has a lot of money but he wanted to make a lot of gifts from scratch - and also needed my help quite a lot for the most trivial things, like the food and drinks for this party. And I was basically Namjoon’s personal driver for the week.” He confessed with a hint of a smile. He enjoys helping. “Next week, I have a lot to do as well.”

“Are you going to see Jungkook again?” The other asked and Yoongi blinked a few times; he thought they were over-talking about Jungkook. 

And it was the first time Yijeon ever said his name; when - rarely - mentioned, he was always Namjoon’s brother.

“I have no idea.”

“Huh.”

“Why?”

“I guess I’m just worried.”

That made Yoongi bite his lower lip before saying: “Jeonie, we’re no longer dating. You shouldn’t worry if I see one of my exes or not.”

“I’m worried as a friend, Yoongi. He’s famous now and you barely know him-”

“I appreciate your concern but I’m a grown man.” He didn’t want to sound so defensive.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Yoongi sighed. “Ok.”

— x —

Taehyung was sure Jimin hated him. 

It was clear like water.

“Why don’t you like me, Jimin?” He asked, his tone chill and calm. Taehyung learned from a very hard place to always say what’s on his mind and try to understand people around him. 

“Who said I don’t like you?”

“You never said it with words but it’s clear.” He chuckled. “We’ve been here for almost ten minutes and you barely looked at me.”

“I don’t hate you, Taehyung. Really.” 

And he was being honest. If anything, he envied the other. 

“Ok.” Tae sighed and drank more of his champagne, looking around once again. 

“I just- I don’t know how to talk to you.” Jimin said and Tae frowned. “We’re very different, you and I.” 

“Funny. Jungkook always said we’re very similar in some aspects.” Taehyung pondered. “I know you’re probably worried about your best friends. I’m getting to know Hoseok and I do basically live with Jungkook if you consider all the time we spend together because of work. It's understandable to be worried since you don’t really know me… But we could talk. I mean, I even said you look stunning and you basically turned your back on me.”

Jimin felt his cheeks burn, he was probably blushing. He did ignore Taehyung’s comment and he was rude without noticing.

“I thought you were making fun of me.” Jimin pouted a bit and Taehyung frowned, holding a smile back because Jimin was adorable sometimes.

“What? Why would I do that?” 

“Do you have a mirror? You’re the stunning one.” Jimin paused. “It feels like you’re trying to win me over, trying too hard to please.” Jimin reasoned. “If you’re trying to woo Hoseok you should keep those comments to him. There’s no need to try to sweet-talk me. And Jungkook, we’ll, he’s your best friend already.” That seemed to make sense. Taehyung smiled at the corner of his lips. 

“I am, indeed, trying to win you over and hoping to please you.” He answered and Jimin felt himself blush even more. Why was he blushing?! “Am I doing it right?” Taehyung asked, his charming voice and genuine curiosity laid out on that question. 

Jimin didn’t get a chance to answer because Hoseok was back and Taehyung’s smile was twice as big as soon as the older one stopped by his side. 

“I’m here.” Hoseok said and Jimin deflated a little. Hoseok was really interested in Taehyung and everyone could see it; his own heart clenched whenever he saw the two interact. 

“I’ll walk around a bit.”  

“Do you want us to come with you?” 

“There’s no need to. I’ll find the others.” He answered quickly and Hoseok tried to reach his wrist, trying to hold him back but Jimin just left quickly. 

“What happened?” Hobi asked, looking at Taehyung this time. 

“I think he doesn’t like me that much.” The taller one whispered.

“Why?”

“Maybe because I’m getting to know you, maybe because I’m friends with Jungkook, maybe just because he doesn’t… I don’t know.” 

“I’m sure he likes you.” Hoseok said and looked back at Jimin who was now walking out of his sight. ”I’ll talk to him later but you must know that it’s really hard not to like you.” 

“Do you like me?” 

Hoseok rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Tae's cheek before saying.

“I do.” 

They continued talking and Hoseok was aware of his surroundings for a while, trying to find Jimin. 

Hoseok didn’t want to make Jimin uncomfortable and he knew by experience that Jimin was always uncomfortable whenever Hoseok decided to date - or just hook up with anyone. 

He never asked why and he decided he would, soon.

— x —

“You know? People will start to wonder why the Korean golden boy is all alone during a party.” Seokjin showed up and gave Jungkook a glass of something Jungkook assumed was whiskey with carbonated water.

Jungkook chuckled. “I’m sure they would rather see me alone than with someone.” 

“Ugh, I don’t know how you deal with it. Fame.”

“There are pros and cons.” He shrugged. He knew by experience that it was really hard to explain how his life was to a non-famous person. Jin could quite understand the pressure because his family had old money, but almost no one could understand how terrible the lack of privacy was… And how much love was involved in his relationship with his fans. 

People usually thought that famous people didn’t really care about their fans but Jungkook did. 

The ones who loved him dearly and respected his privacy and his boundaries, at least. 

“Are you ok? I was a bit worried when I saw you here all by yourself. Are you feeling uncomfortable?”

“No, hyung, everything is great. Really. Thank you for the photographers and the no-phone rule by the way. I’m just chilling. Everything’s fine, really.” He said and he couldn’t help but look at Yoongi’s direction. Seokjin caught up on that. 

“That’s Yoongi’s ex.” 

“I’m aware. Hoseok told me.” Jungkook said and Jin smirked. 

“You’re so obvious, it’s ridiculous.” Seokjin chuckled and Jungkook frowned. It didn’t take a second for Jin to raise his hand, Yoongi noticed them there and he gestured for him to come near them. Yoongi excused himself and rushed to Seokjin- and Jungkook.

“Is everything ok?” He asked quickly and Jin hugged him. Yoongi wasn’t a hugger, that much Jungkook knew. “What’s going on? Are you drunk? Are you having second thoughts? Is Namjoon missing?” The urgent voice was trying to find the reason why Seokjin was hugging him. 

That was the moment Yoongi put some distance between them and seemed to finally really look at Jungkook. 

“Jungkookie, hey.” He smiled and Jungkook felt hot all over. “Hyung, what is it? What should I do?” 

“Nothing to worry about, Yoongi. I was just saving you from your ex.” At that, Yoongi laughed loudly. 

“I didn’t need any saving but thank you.” He answered and, for a moment there, Jungkook thought he might have been intruding on their talk.

“Jungkookie here is all by himself, you could stick together for a while.” Seokjin said and Yoongi looked at Jungkook again, his eyes widened in surprise.

“Yes, sure. Don’t you need any help?” 

“No. Everything’s going smoothly. I just really didn’t want Yijeon to sweet talk you again.” Yoongi rolled his eyes and the oldest one left to talk with some other guests. 

“Sweet talk you again ?” Jungkook asked and drank more of the whiskey in his hand, trying to act nonchalant.

“Yes. I- We hooked up once after we broke up. Hyung always makes it look more serious than it really is.” 

Jungkook widened his eyes and bit his lower lip. Jungkook and Yoongi also slept together after breaking up - which led to them actually breaking up for real-

“Oh.” 

“Yes. Seokjin says that I lack judgment when I’m horny.” His words were easy and he didn’t seem embarrassed by it. Clearly the champagne on his hands - and his system - left him a bit loose-lipped. Jungkook snorted at that and he clearly had something to say. “What?”

“I kind of agree?” Jungkook joked and Yoongi rolled his eyes. “When you were horny, you used to be really, uhm, eager.” 

“I was not that eager!” He laughed loudly, fully aware that Jungkook was messing with him. 

When he was horny - and dating someone - he usually, of course, would ask them if they were down to fuck. 

With Yijeong, the time that Jin mentioned, it was more about feeling lonely than anything. Jungkook didn’t need to know about that. 

Yoongi didn’t want to hook up with strangers - he’d done that when he broke up with Jungkook and he realized it was a terrible coping mechanism. - After he broke up with Yijeong and both of them spent some time on their own he needed to feel that someone was taking care of him, so they met and hooked up. They talked after and that was just it. 

Yijeong was really a good person. Yoongi didn’t love him enough but he was indeed a great man. 

“You know? He’s kind of cute.” Jungkook mentioned it and Yoongi looked at him. “Your ex-boyfriend.”

“Are you trying to woo my ex?” Yoongi asked, clearly joking, and the younger one laughed. 

“Of course, not.” 

“Right.” Yoongi chuckled and drank a sip more. “I saw you looking at us quite a few times.”

“If anything, I am still trying to woo you.” 

That was expected, if Yoongi was totally honest. Their kiss the night before was a subject hanging between them.

“Jungkook… What are you doing?” 

To be honest, he had no idea. He just knew he wanted to be close to Yoongi and that the wave of nostalgia and love that came with all his meetings with Yoongi always made him feel great. 

He knew, deep down he knew, he shouldn’t engage in anything for many reasons:

1. Yoongi was his ex;
2. It ended for a reason; even though they clearly were shaken by the other, there was a reason. He could think clearly most of the time but when Yoongi was right in front of him, it was like he forgot everything that could stop him from being straightforward;
3. He was famous, things were not that easy

“I think we should not get ahead of ourselves.” The older one said and Jungkook nodded, smiling teasingly. 

“We really should talk.” Jungkook reminded him.

“We should.” Yoongi agreed. “Not right now. Your brother is about to get engaged and something tells me they will need me at any time.” 

“What? Why?”

“I think you already know how emotionally constipated your brother is.”

“Yes, I do, but I’m certain he’s not backing out.”

“No, I don’t think he will back out but maybe he’ll get nervous.” He paused. “Not all of us are used to attention like you.” 

“Ugh, I’m used to it but I don’t like it. If people pay attention to me when I’m on stage or during interviews, that’s great, but in the middle of crowds and on the street, it’s terrible.” He paused. “I’m used to it but I don’t like it.”

“I would hate it as well. My private life is mine… Even now when I write songs, I go with a pseudonym… And I’m not nearly as famous as you are. My anxiety would be so high, I can’t even imagine.” 

Jungkook understood that it was not an easy life. Maybe Seoul wouldn’t be a great fit for Yoongi, after all. 

“I need to hear your stuff. Will you show me?”

“You could just search for it, huh?”

“I want to hear it with you, hear your thoughts about it as well.” 

Jungkook almost missed Yoongi blushing. “That’s ok. If you stay a few days more, I can show you. You haven’t heard anything from me?”

“Not that I’m aware of.” He paused. “I can show you some songs as well.”

“That would be nice. Let’s do it before you go back to Seoul.”

“I’m staying here for a few more days.”

“Yes, Joon told me. And he also told me that you’re on good terms now.” 

“Kind of, yes.” He paused. “A lot happened but he listened and I think that’s already a win.” 

“It is. Joon is really stubborn.”

“Tell me about it.” He joked and finished his drink. “Should we meet later? To talk?” 

“We’re not talking when we’re drunk.” 

“I won’t drink anymore.” The younger one said. “I’m used to not drinking much. I have to be aware of my surroundings at all times. I mean, most times.”

“I won’t either. The hangover now that I’m older is terrible and I’d like to get a good night of sleep.” 

“Then it’s settled? We can talk later.” Jungkook asked. “We really should talk because I have a lot to say and we, uhm, I acted on an impulse last night.” 

That was enough to make Yoongi doubt a lot. He was actually believing that Jungkook would want more, maybe talk about it positively but after that sentence, he wondered if he got it all wrong. 

“But I do have something to say right now, if you may.”

Yoongi was a bit wary but he nodded. 

“You look amazing, Yoongi. You really do.”

And it was true. Yoongi was wearing a really fitting suit and his hair was styled but still a bit messy. His cat eyes had a tiny line of eyeliner on them, most people wouldn’t be able to notice.

“You look nice too.”

“Nice? Only nice?”

Yoongi chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“I should have put more effort into it, I aimed for stunning.”

They both laughed at it and Yoongi would not back out on what he said, he was not that good at giving compliments to an ex-boyfriend. 

But conversation fell easy between them after that… It broke the ice and just like the day on the beach, one topic led to another and then another.

It felt right.

— x —

Jimin couldn’t find any of his friends and talking to people all over was tiring, he wanted to relax a bit, and laugh over something stupid. He decided he should go back to the storage room; there were probably workers going in and out of  there but it was enough for him to recharge his battery - and maybe find something to drink besides the champagne those waiters were serving tirelessly. 

Walking there he saw what he didn’t want to. 

By distance, he recognized Hoseok’s slim frame.

He was being held by a taller and a bit stronger one. Taehyung. 

They were hugging and sharing a really intimate moment. Jimin should’ve stopped looking at them but his eyes betrayed him and his gaze was firm on the two. 

Taehyung was smiling, and strikingly beautiful (as always).

Hoseok was talking even while hugging and when they put some distance between them and looked at each other, Taehyung tentatively held Hoseok’s hand. 

Jimin knew where that was going. 

He’s seen Hoseok flirt and date people a lot. 

Well, Jimin himself dated a few people as well.

But seeing Hobi so comfortable and so happy in Taehyung’s embrace upset him. 

He didn’t like to talk about it and mostly denied it to all of his friends but, yes, Jimin had feelings for Hoseok. 

Really strong feelings.

And by the way everyone always asked him about it, he was pretty obvious about it.

Sometimes he wondered if Hobi suspected as well, which would be his worst nightmare. 

It hurt to see Taehyung and Hoseok together.

He should’ve expected though. 

He gave up on going to the storage and went back to the party, finding Jungkook and Yoongi chatting. 

That was interesting. 

Jungkook was always so adamant about how they had ended things on bad terms and not even mentioned what happened to Jimin. Yoongi was the one who told him his version of the story and Jimin, at the time, told him off for hurting his best friend like that. 

To see both of them chatting and knowing that they texted a few times - and even kissed - was a new development and Jimin was quite proud of them - and really hoping for them to talk and maybe make up. 

Jimin snorted at that thought. Jungkook was famous, so a relationship would be complicated. 

Almost impossible.

It was a bit selfish but whenever Jimin received long texts from Jungkook saying that he was tired or that he felt sad, he wished Jungkook was not famous at all. 

He wanted all of his friends to be happy but he knew it wasn’t that easy.

Jungkook even told him he hadn’t slept with anyone in years because being famous took away a lot of his freedom to be himself.

Jungkook smiled and left Yoongi’s side for a bit. He found Jimin right after. 

“I see you’re talking to your ex.” Jimin’s voice resonated behind the younger one.

“Erm, yeah.”

“Yoongi said you kissed last night.” 

Jungkook widened his eyes and looked around; Jimin quickly realized that he should definitely not talk about that out in the open. 

“We did, yes.” He answered after making sure they were not being overheard.

“And are we happy about it?” He asked. Jungkook rolled his eyes, a defeated smile blooming on his lips.

“Are you going to call me stupid if I say yes?” 

“Probably yes but I’m not in a position to judge.” 

“Hyung, really, what is wrong with me?” Jungkook melted a bit, his shoulders sagging. He sighed and quickly, almost in an instant he readjusted his posture and his expression.

He couldn’t be caught slacking. 

“It must be tiring.” Jimin said. Jungkook frowned. “Being alert at all times.”

Jungkook quickly caught on to what he meant. 

“I’m used to it.” He confessed, again a melancholy behind those words. “And you? Why were you alone?” 

“I was going to the storage but I saw Taehyung and Hoseok together…”

“Together?” 

“Yeah, I mean, they were hugging. They seemed close.” Jungkook was clearly torn about what to say. “I know he’s your friend, Kook. It’s fine. It’s good that they are having fun.” 

“You should tell Hobi-hyung, Jimin.” 

Jimin chuckled. “Jungkook, I just told you, they are together.” 

“I know but you’re feeling bad. Maybe if you tell him, it will make you feel better.” 

“Or maybe it will ruin everything. It’s fine. I mean it.” 

Jungkook sighed by his side. “We’re doomed.” The younger one laughed lightly and Jimin followed. 

— x —

Jungkook was having a good time after all. 

His friends were all together now, everyone waiting for Jin and Namjoon to say something before the party really started with the DJ and lights that were set up. 

The younger - and everyone that knew Namjoon - knew how Namjoon hated attention and to speak in public - the only exception when he was in class or talking in a seminar - so it would be interesting to see him saying something meaningful to Jin in front of anyone.

If he would do it. 

Seokjin showed up in front of everyone first, he was glowing and a big smile stuck on his face ever since the celebration started. Namjoon followed him with a shy smile, their hands intertwined and a big smile on his lips as well.

There were mics near them but the silence was enough for Jin to be heard by everyone around.

“I’m really happy that everyone came. I know it’s a big party and maybe too much for some of you but I always loved loudly and I wanted to show everyone that, yes, I’m getting engaged to a man and even though we can’t really get married in Korea, I want to promise Namjoon, here, in front of everyone that I want to be with him for as long as he will have me.” Seokjin then turned to his boyfriend and said: “I love you. Thank you for choosing me and thank you for putting up with this big party that I know you only agreed to because I wanted.” He smiled a bit more and Namjoon pulled him closer, pecking his lips. 

“I want to be with you. I love you.” Namjoon paused. His voice was a bit lower but still loud enough for Jungkook - who was in the front row of people around them - to hear: “I would get married to you today if we could. I’d do anything for you.” 

“I know everyone says that your brother is the hottest in your family but I kindly disagree. It’s you.” Jin said, making everyone laugh and Jungkook jokingly pouted in front of the guests. “I love you so much, Namjoon.” 

“I’m going to kiss you now.” Namjoon whispered and took Jin by his tiny waist, pulling him closer for a kiss.

All the guests went crazy and some popped bottles of champagne and whistled loudly, making the couple chuckle between their kisses.

Jungkook was so happy for them and especially for his brother. He always hoped Namjoon would be happy; he always thought that he deserved happiness in all forms. It was fulfilling to see him like that. 

The youngest one shifted his gaze to his friends by his side. Taehyung was loudly calling the couple’s names for a picture. Hoseok and Jimin were whistling and laughing - but Jimin was kind of avoiding talking to Hoseok at the moment; he didn’t want to say too much. 

Yoongi was crying. Not full-on crying, but happiness was overflowing and tears were streaming down his face.

Jungkook was quick to hand him a tissue that he strategically has in his pockets at all times - mostly to clean after eating or to clean any smudge on his makeup.

“I see you’re still a softie.” 

“I’m not.” Yoongi replied in a rushed whisper after drying his eyes. People were still too engrossed in what was happening and with the couple to notice their little chat. “Thank you.” He said in a low tone of voice while using the tissue Jungkook handed him.

The answer was adorable and Jungkook couldn’t hide his affectionate smile. He shifted his gaze to the couple again and Namjoon was looking directly at him. A hint of confusion in his eyes. 

It didn’t last long, though. 

“I hope you all have fun tonight. There are rooms for the family. Jin rented basically the whole place - and there will be some drivers to take people home, just ask the staff about how it works and they’ll tell you. Now, we’re starting the party on the dance floor and for those who want a piece of quiet, there are seats and food inside.” 

Some people made a quick line to congratulate and hug the couple, which surprised Jungkook quite a lot. 

He’s been in an intolerant industry for so long, that he sometimes forgets about how open some people are.

“We’re going to dance, right?” Taehyung asked with a full smile. “I just need to go to the restroom for a bit but I’ll be back shortly, you guys can go ahead.”

“I’m not dancing.” Yoongi said, trying to hide that he was still tearing up. Adorable.

“Not even with me?” Jungkook asked, looking straight at Yoongi and the older one rolled his eyes. 

“Ugh… Do you really want to? You used to be shy…”

“I’m still shy but I really want to dance with my friends. I want to enjoy the party.” 

“Ok, you get yourselves together. I’ll be right back.” Taehyung added and winked at Hoseok before vanishing in the middle of the crowd.

Jungkook really meant what he said, he wanted to dance. Freely. 

And he did.

For the first time in his famous life he could enjoy a dance floor like there’s no tomorrow - and with people he had missed dearly. He obviously went to a club in Seoul (once or twice in his life before he started training) but the fact that phones were banned from the party was really helpful; that made him feel at ease. That made him feel like he could dance the way he wanted to without being hyper-aware of his surroundings or afraid of being who he was.

Being in Busan brought a lot of that, a lot of feeling like he was being himself. The only place he felt free like that in Seoul was inside of his own home - which was lonely. 

“What are you thinking about?” Yoongi asked when Jungkook took a breather when a slower - still upbeat - song started. 

Yoongi was there, dancing with him, even when he said he would not.

Jungkook took a deep breath and thanked god for the low lights because being that close to Yoongi was making him blush just like he did when they first flirted, when they first kissed. 

Why was Jungkook thinking about their first kiss? 

“Uhm, nothing, actually.” Jungkook answered after taking his mind out of his own thoughts for a second. “I don’t know.” He looked around and then Jungkook looked back at Yoongi, in front of him. “I just feel really happy right now.” 

That made Yoongi smile widely and Jungkook smiled back; he shifted his gaze and saw the couple was already between the guests dancing a bit while talking to some people. 

Jimin was dancing to a random guy and Hoseok was also dancing but on his own. It was clear how Jimin was trying his best to avoid his friend and Taehyung was nowhere to be seen, probably stuck still in the bathroom line or maybe being friendly. He was, indeed, a social butterfly. 

Hoseok didn’t seem to be having a bad time. He was smiling and Jungkook could see how dancing made him happy. 

Jungkook, then, shifted his gaze back to Yoongi in front of him who was still staring. “I think I haven’t seen you smiling like that in years.”

“You haven’t seen me in years as well.”

“I may have watched one or two videos of you backstage-”

That ripped off a loud laugh from Jungkook. “Did you really?”

“I tried not to! But you’re really famous, you know? Whenever I tried to keep my distance, there you were on another billboard, there you were on TV, there you were in a YouTube ad.”

Jungkook laughed even harder. “I’m sorry?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and Jungkook could bet that he was blushing; that time he wished the lights were on. He wanted to see it. 

Jungkook’s voice was not the only one on that dance floor, people were talking and laughing loudly which made Jungkook feel even better.

— 

Yoongi felt his heart beating faster and faster. Dancing with Jungkook was not on his bingo card for that year but, well, fuck it. 

While dancing, he saw a supportive look coming from Hoseok and it was so stupid how his friend cheered him to make a move on his ex. Namjoon, on the other hand, looked at him a bit puzzled and for a second there Yoongi thought that maybe he would try to interrupt them. 

Yoongi could not blame any of them. 

He really talked really highly of Jungkook to anyone he ever met (even though he always mentioned how hard it ended) - and that included Hoseok. 

And he also cried a lot with Namjoon when they broke up, when he realized Jungkook was not coming back to Busan - or him. 

He excused himself for a minute only so he could go get water for both of them and once he was back, Jungkook was radiant. 

Yoongi felt his heart clench a bit.

“Hey, here.” He said before handing the younger one a bottle of water. Jungkook happily accepted it and he drank almost all of it in one go. He was sweating a bit, a bit of his hair sticking on his forehead and his eyes shining. 

Mesmerizing. 

Yoongi was so pathetic. 

He could fall in love with Jungkook all over again that night. 

Did he ever fall out of love? 

Jungkook finished his water and took his and Yoongi’s empty bottles to the nearest bin. 

“Already tired of dancing?”

“I was tired before even starting.” He said and Jungkook chuckled. 

“You don’t have to stay here with me if you don’t feel like dancing. I’d love to keep dancing with you but don’t want you to do something you don’t feel like-”

“I’m having fun. And we haven’t danced with the couple yet, we should-” Yoongi started and then Jungkook pulled him close, alarming Yoongi because they were in public and even though Jungkook was feeling free and all, he didn’t mention it to Yoongi. 

And Yoongi would never do anything to threaten his career; Yoongi would never do anything to hurt Jungkook in any way. He still cared about him a lot - even after all the shit they’ve said to each other. 

Yoongi took a step back and Jungkook blinked a little. 

“Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You’re not- We’re in public.”

“There’s no one with a phone here and we’re just dancing. It’s not like we’re kissing or anything.” Jungkook said, his voice hanging with a smile. Yoongi rolled his eyes. Before he could say anything, someone called him:

“Yoongi.”

It was Yijeong. Again.

Yoongi smiled at him, surprised actually: “Look at you, on a dance floor!”

“I could say the same.” Yijeong said and added. “We dated for a long time and you never even danced side to side in front of me.” 

“That’s a lie. I make music, of course, I dance sometimes.” 

“Yeah, bobbing your head up and down is not really a dance.” He pointed out and Yoongi snorted. Yijeon looked at Jungkook. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Can’t believe we’re at a party with a pop star.” And then he bowed a little, greeting Jungkook properly.

“I’m Namjoon’s brother-“

“Yoongi’s ex and Jimin’s best friend. We all know it.” His tone was friendly still but Jungkook looked a bit taken aback, his eyes widened.

“Oh, you did your research on me.” The younger one pointed out.

“Not really, no. Just came to say hi, really. I don’t want to intrude any longer.” He paused and looked at Yoongi. “See you around?”

“Yeah, sure, see you.” 

When Yoongi turned to Jungkook once again, the guy looked a bit puzzled. “Did you tell him I was your ex-boyfriend? Does anyone else know?” He didn’t want it to feel like he was pointing fingers at anyone but he couldn’t pretend that it didn’t worry him. 

“Well, I am his ex-boyfriend as well. We did cover all the past relationship talks so, yeah, I told him… But you have nothing to worry about, I swear. He’s sweet and really respectful. I mean it. I know that sometimes it must feel like the whole world rotates around you but I promise you, it does not.”

“It almost sounds like you miss him.” That sentence had no sugarcoating on it and Yoongi could understand that people knowing that he dated a guy could lead to a lot of problems but, really, he had nothing to worry about.

“Jungkook-”

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to sound rude. I’ll just… go take some air.”

“Jungkook!”

At that same moment, Namjoon, who was talking to two women alongside Jin just near him, showed up in front of him.

“Yoongi…” Namjoon started and he had no idea of what he wanted to say; probably another speech about protecting Jungkook - or maybe this time would be about protecting Yoongi from Jungkook, who knows? “You know what? I’m not going to ask. Is everything ok?”

“I don’t know? I thought so but I'm not so sure anymore.” Yoongi looked in the direction Jungkook went. 

“You should go after him.”

That made Yoongi frown. “Really?”

“Don’t make me say it twice because I won’t.”

Yoongi knew he and Jungkook were trying to be on good terms but he wasn’t expecting Namjoon rooting for them to get along again. 

He did go after Jungkook.

— x —

“You’re avoiding me?” Hoseok’s question took Jimin by surprise. 

He was not, per se, avoiding the other.

But ever since the moment he saw the two of them being cozy on that corner, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being left out, of frustration for never being able to tell Hobi how he felt, of being jealous…

“I’m not.”

Hoseok only stopped swinging his body from left to right and crossed his arms. “Really? Because we started dancing and you danced with everyone but me.” He pouted. “We always danced together.”

“I- Shouldn’t you dance with your date though?”

“Tae went to the bathroom and it’s been a while. I bet he’s stuck in line or stopped to talk to someone, he’s very friendly.”

“Friendly.” Jimin repeated and also stopped following the rhythm with his body.

“So? What is it?” Hobi asked and Jimin knew by experience that the older one would not stop asking questions. He’s a kind friend, really worried too.

“I’m not avoiding you. Why would I?”

“Yeah, why would you?” His hair was a bit messy and Jimin adjusted it for him, earning a small “Oh, thanks.”

“Hobi, I-... I saw you and Taehyung a bit earlier.” 

Hoseok frowned at that, he was trying to recall what situation would be Jimin talking about. “Yeah?”

“I mean, you seemed cozy . You’re good together, you know?”

“Jimin, I’m a bit lost here. Were we doing something? I mean, we pretty much only talked-”

“You were hugging… And being really close.” That seemed to help Hoseok. He nodded, understanding. 

“Ok? You’re avoiding me because you don’t want to get in the way? I mean, that’s a good friend move but we were just talking and I really want to dance with my best friend-”

“See? You just don’t get it!” Jimin let it out loudly and right away looked around, no one was paying attention to them.

Hoseok, though, hated when people raised their voices to him so his expression closed off a bit. “What? What am I not getting? Is he a bad person? You don’t want to dance with me? What?”

Jimin only stared at him for a good minute or so before letting the longest sigh ever. He could easily blame what he was about to do on those infinite glasses of champagne and cosmopolitan that he had but, to be honest, he was really conscious and aware of what he was doing. 

He was fully sane when he groaned and invaded Hoseok's space, placing his hands on his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. 

He closed his eyes and let the feeling of the kiss, probably the first and last one he would give to Hoseok, sink down. 

For a second there, he cursed himself for doing that. Stealing a kiss was bad- he pulled back for a second, ready to apologize. When he opened his eyes, Hoseok’s eyes were on his and before he could say anything, the older one closed his eyes once again and pulled Jimin by his waist, a hand quickly placed on his neck and Jimin’s hands falling lightly to the other’s shoulders. 

Hoseok was the one initiating the kiss this time and Jimin was going crazy. 

Fully crazy.

He could only be imagining it, right?

There was no way Hoseok would kiss him, right?

There was no way Hoseok was kissing him in front of everyone while on a date with Taehyung. 

Or, technically, Taehyung was not his date. He was invited as well but they were together the whole night and going on dates, flirting… Jimin was overthinking when Hoseok deepened the kiss, his tongue touching Jimin’s and making him forget everything he was thinking.

All he could feel was his heart beating like crazy, his stomach full of butterflies, Hoseok’s hands holding his waist tightly, his lips against Jimin’s. 

The songs were fully blasting on that dance floor. Jimin could hear the pop song as the backtrack of their kiss just like in an old school movie. 

It was perfect. 

Almost perfect.

Until Hoseok realized what he was doing. He pulled back, holding Jimin’s waist, this time as a way to keep him a bit distant. Jimin opened up his eyes, still dizzy about that kiss, but seeing Hoseok’s expression was enough for him to wake up from that brief daydream. 

“Jimin, what-why?”

That was it. 

Hoseok’s brown orbs were staring at his own and Jimin was so scared. 

But he couldn’t keep it to himself. 

“I like you.” His voice was trembling. “A lot. Really.” Hoseok stared, his gaze fixed on Jimin’s lips now. “I’ve liked you for so long, hyung, but I never said a thing, never thought I should- always thought it would mess things up.”

“Why now? Why- Shit, I-“

“I was not going to tell you! But you asked why I was avoiding you and I was, indeed,  because you were with Taehyung and I-“

“Taehyung.” Hoseok widened his eyes and he interrupted Jimin. “Shit, shit, shit.” His eyes wandered around the place and there he was. 

Taehyung, in all of his glory, stared back at him. 

Jimin followed Hoseok’s gaze and saw. Taehyung looked serene, almost as if he was expecting it. Did he see the kiss?

By the way he only gave them a nod and turned around, he probably did. 

“He saw it.” Jimin said, his cheeks blushing right away, finally he realized that everyone there saw them. Jimin had a lot to say, he was in the middle of confessing his feelings when Hoseok interrupted him to search for Taehyung. 

It hurt a lot. 

But what did he expect, right?

“I should go after him, I was with him.”

“You should.” Jimin said, simply, holding his own heart on a string. 

“But Jimin, this, what was this?” He paused again. “You like me.” He said as if getting a reality check, Jimin had so much more to say but it just felt wrong. 

Wrong because Hoseok was clearly trying to assimilate everything and Taehyung was probably upset. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he also hurt Taehyung. The guy was nothing but good and nice to Jimin- Jimin should’ve told him that he had feelings for Hoseok. 

Jimin should’ve told Hoseok before. 

Jimin should've kept quiet. 

He was spiraling. 

His heart was still on a string. 

He didn’t realize when his eyes teared up. “You should go after him. It’s ok.”

“It’s not!” He exasperated. “I’m worried about him, and you! And trying to understand… Jimin, I never noticed it-“

“O-Kay.” That was Seokjin’s voice. “You’re starting to make a scene now and I know you don’t want this. Should we go somewhere more private?”

“Yes.” Hoseok almost pleaded. 

“No.” Jimin said. “Hoseok has to go after Taehyung and digest what we did. I need some space as well.”

He didn’t, not really. 

“I really need to go after him but I’m your best friend and I also want to hear you, talk to you-“

“Hobi-hyung, go!” Jimin said after hearing the best friend once again. “Please, go.” The last sentence was almost in a whisper, a plead. 

He daydreamed and reality crashed hard. 

Hoseok seemed to be unsure of what to do but Namjoon was quickly talking to him and Jin held Jimin’s wrist gently and took him out of there. It took him a second to realize Jin was taking Jimin to the kitchen. 

“I’m going to get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“You need to calm down, you’re crying.” Jin sternly answered, a lot of gentleness around his voice still though. 

Jimin didn’t know he was crying. 

He was so embarrassed. 

He started laughing at how pathetic he must look and Jin looked at him, worried. “Are you drunk?”

He shook his head and cried between his laughter. Jin handed him the water. 

“I’m so embarrassed. Why did I hear you and the guys? Everyone always told me to talk to him, to tell him how I feel. I feel so humiliated, sad and even guilty! It’s terrible.”

“You kissed him.” Jin stated, trying to understand better what happened.

“He kissed me back.” Jimin felt the butterflies all over again. The feeling of being kissed is ingrained in his body. “But then he came to his senses. We pulled apart and he asked, I started confessing… I put everything down and he was trying to understand, still confused and all. He looked nervous and frantic. I thought I’d fucked up but, well, I was already there so I laid all of my feelings and he saw Taehyung. He couldn’t care less about what I was saying and I know, really, I know he was worried about me back there mostly because he realized I was saying something important and he was about to run to another man. I just made it easier for him. It was not me who he wanted. He spent the week with Tae, he went on dates, and he hugged him close today… Hobi didn’t want me to kiss him. He wanted Taehyung to do it.”

“You just said he kissed you back.” Jin reasoned, grabbing the empty glass from Jimin’s hands. 

“Yes, he did. But I don’t know? All I know is that he wanted Tae and I messed it up… and we have a business together, oh, god, what have I done?”

“No, we’re not doing this. You’re overthinking and you didn’t even talk.”

“I saw Taehyung too. He looked calm, oddly calm. I feel bad for him too. Guilty. We talked before and he was nothing but nice to me the whole time… My timing was the worst.”

“I love you with all my heart and I really wanted you to confess your feelings for Hoseok because I do believe you’re great together but, indeed, your timing was terrible.” He paused. “But you were acting with his heart. That was good, it’s really hard to make you think with it.”

“I’m sorry. It’s your party and I’m ruining it.”

“You’re not ruining anything, darling.” Jin smiled gently. “I’m already engaged. I should now start helping my single friends.”

Jimin chuckled wetly. “You’re the worst.” Jin placed a kiss on his cheek. 

“You know I’m not. Want to go back there?”

“I want to go home.”

“Jiminie…” 

“I mean it. The party is amazing, hyung, but I can’t be here anymore.” He bit his lower lip. “Have you seen Jungkook anywhere?”

“Actually, no. It’s been a while since I saw him. I can let him know you went home. I’ll tell one of the drivers to drive you home.”

“Thank you, hyung.” 

— x —

“Mrs. Jeon, hey.”

“Taehyung, my darling. I thought you were dancing with the others.”

“Actually, I was talking to some people I’ve met near the bar but, uhm, I’m here to say that I’m going back home, I mean, to your home. I’m kind of tired and got a headache, I’m feeling a bit nauseous as well.”

“Oh, no, baby.” She said and got up from her seat. “Do you want me to go with you? Where is Jungkook?” 

“I haven’t seen him in a while and, no, you don’t need to come with me. I’m ok. I just need to rest and sleep. I promise. It’s your son’s party, you should stay… And he also has rooms for you and Jungkook to rest here.”

“I know but I can’t leave you alone if you’re not feeling good.” 

“I promise, I’m ok.” Taehyung said and Mrs. Jeon raised one hand to caress his hair, gently.

“Do you have the keys?” 

“No and I can’t find Jungkook-“

“Take mine. I know there are drivers outside to take you there.” She reached for the keys inside her purse that was on the table. “If you need anything, call me. I know I don’t have my phone inside here but I’ll let the staff know that if it rings, they need to let me know.” 

“Thank you so much but, really, you have nothing to worry about. I just need to rest and I have medicine inside my backpack.”

“Alright, sweet.” 

“Please, let Jungkook know I went home if you see him.” 

“Sure, I‘ll let him know.” 

It didn’t take him long to rush out of the party. He knew it was rude to go without thanking Namjoon and Jin for the invitation but he needed to go.

The fact that Hoseok was not looking for him made it clear that Taehyung was being rejected, once again.

He should be used to it by now.

He didn’t bother any of the drivers of the party; as soon as he picked up his phone he texted Jungkook’s driver who quickly found him and took him to Jungkook’s home. 

He only felt calm when he found himself inside the quiet house. 

He was glad Jungkook was nowhere to be found in the party because he really didn’t feel like talking to anyone. 

He rushed to take a shower and he would try to sleep early - because he realized was only a bit late in the evening. 

– x –

“You’re jealous.” Yoongi stated as soon as he found Jungkook in the middle of the elevator's hallway, near the main stairs. That was not a question ad Yoongi didn't know why that was happening.

Jungkook scoffed and shook his head. “You found me.”

“Well, it wasn’t that hard, I literally followed you after you rushed-”

“I’m not jealous.” He said, simply. 

He was. He totally was.

Wasn’t he?

“If you say so…” Yoongi shrugged. “You have nothing to worry about, you know? He won’t tell anyone. He’s known about us, about my past, for a long while now and he never said a thing… And you also have nothing to worry about when it comes to me missing him.” Yoongi stopped right in front of Jungkook. “I don’t. I think I never truly did.”

“Do you miss me?” 

That question was loaded, Jungkook was being vulnerable and even though they were pretty much out in the open - which Jungkook himself said was risky a few minutes ago - they were about to talk about feelings. 

Yoongi sighed after looking around, making sure no one could hear them. “You know I did.”

“You know what I’m talking about, not only Jungkook- I mean, as your boyfriend. Did you miss me at all?”

“You know I did.” Yoongi repeated and Jungkook shook his head. 

“I don’t, not really. You left me without even saying you loved me, I’m not sure-”

“You know I did.” Yoongi said again, his tone sober and serious. Jungkook was not sure if he was repeating that he missed him or if he was trying to say that he loved Jungkook back then.

Jungkook was not sure about a lot of things between them. Not back then, not now.

Yoongi was not sure where that conversation was going but they shouldn’t talk about things in that stupid hallway.

“You were having fun back there. Want to go back?” Yoongi asked and Jungkook sighed with a small smile, noticing how Yoongi changed the subject between them.

“I was, yes, but it was careless. Even without cameras, people could gossip.”

“Gossip is just gossip.”

“Not when it can make the headlines.” He said and shook his head. “Sorry. It’s just… I’m not out to anyone in Seoul besides Taehyung and a few people… I sometimes overthink it.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I know it might be scary but you can’t stop living-”

“Let’s just not talk about it, huh? You were saying how you missed me.”

Yoongi nodded and looked around once again, his hand met Jungkook’s and he held it, intertwining their fingers. 

Jungkook’s gaze was on his eyes. 

“What are you doing?” The younger one asked in a whisper and Yoongi retrieved his hand, saying:

“Sorry, you used to like holding hands, hugging, kissing and all. It always made you calmer- I thought you-”

Yoongi did not finish his sentence, Jungkook was holding his hand again.

“I still like it. A lot. And I’m really deprived of it.” He joked. “Thank you.” He whispered those last words after pulling Yoongi close by the hand. 

Again, Yoongi knew he should look around but the sound of everyone having fun on the dance floor - and the fact that the hallway they were in was only for family, the ones with access to the rooms - made him not that worried.

So Yoongi decided to just go for it. He let go of Jungkook’s hands and hugged him.

Tightly. 

It took Jungkook a second to hold him back because, even though the air was tense between them and every word was loaded with expectations and unsaid feelings and wants, he was not expecting it. 

Yoongi’s perfume was the same, his hair smelled good as well. 

Jungkook hugged Yoongi tightly and after realizing they would stay there for a bit, he allowed himself to close his eyes. 

“Closer.” Yoongi mumbled against his chest and Jungkook pulled him even closer - if it was possible.

They hugged for what felt like a long time, taking a step back only when Jungkook whispered: “I was spiraling because I really can’t afford a scandal but, maybe, I was also a bit jealous.”

That made Yoongi laugh, his laughter making him smile widely, gums showing and all. “I knew it! You’ve always been really jealous-”

“I’m sorry, I know we are not boyfriends anymore and it’s wrong but I couldn’t help the feeling bubbling inside of me- I guess I always knew you’d find someone else and I thought I was mature enough to deal with it. Turns out, I’m not that mature.” Yoongi was laughing still and he added:

“I don’t blame you. I guess I’d do the same. I’m not that much better when it comes to you.” He confessed. “To be honest, I have no idea what I’m doing whenever we’re together.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“To be fair, I’m just the same. You make me so confused, it’s not even funny.”

“Why are we like this? We’re acting like teenagers. All shy and bold at the same time.”

“We’re acting like we did at the beginning of our relationship, hyung.” Jungkook corrected.

He was right. 

They were like that.

Nervous, horny, affectionate, lovingly, teasing… 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Our kiss last night. I need you to know that I know the timing was terrible and I was indeed trying to escape what was going on with Namjoon-hyung and all but I wanted that. I really did. I guess I've wanted to kiss you ever since we met again, at the beginning of the week.”

“You’re lying. We were just getting to see each other after so long...”

“And I called you in the middle of the night.” A pause. “And you came.” Jungkook smiled, looking straight at Yoongi. 

“I did.” Yoongi nodded and, again, Jungkook pulled him close. “Am I reading this wrong, hyung?” He paused. “I basically started every conversation and I’m the one taking action…”

“I just didn’t think I should start anything, you know? When things ended, for real, basically it was my fault. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just thought it would be wise to let you set the pace of our … Whatever this is.”

“You know I’m not big on controlling things.” The younger one teased and smiled at Yoongi as if he had said nothing.

That had a double meaning and both of them knew it. Yoongi bit his lower lip momentarily. 

Jungkook was impossible. “Jungkook…”

“That day, back then, we both hurt the other. It sucked. I’m not here to discuss it and I don't think we have enough time to solve all that, to get deep in our feelings. I have to get back to Seoul in a few days and I’m not looking for, I don’t know, getting back together without properly talking to you. I mean, we barely know each other right now, right? I’m not that naive and not that stupid. It would be nearly impossible for us to date - for me to date anyone, really. I just… Missed you a lot.” Jungkook blurted out everything he was thinking, even though he didn’t believe in every word he was saying. "And I just feel a lot when I'm close to you."

“What are you saying then? What do you want?” Yoongi asked because he was getting fed up with all the teasing and unsaid things.

“You.” He paused. “I feel safe, cared and you know me. I… Fuck, I still like you a lot, hyung. And it’s no use to pretend I don’t. I saw you after all those years and here you are messing with every unresolved feeling I have.” He confessed, his voice lower than usual. Yoongi always loved when Jungkook used his low register to talk. Yoongi’s eyes focused on his mouth when the younger one asked: “Can I kiss you, Yoongi? I’ve been thinking about kissing you since last night-“

Yoongi was not made of steel; he had blood boiling inside his veins - and his inside was screaming for a kiss.  

He wanted it so bad. 

He dreamed about it even though he would deny it out loud. 

He remembered what Jungkook said about being the one taking action; something inside of him ignited and he put one hand on Jungkook’s cheek, kissing him right away.

It was just a long kiss but he didn’t deepen it, not yet.

With their faces close, their foreheads touching, Jungkook’s breathing rapid - just like Yoongi’s, they shared little kisses. A lot of them.

So intimate, so gentle and, at the same time, so eager. Their hands wander the other’s bodies, rushing the touches and being the opposite of the soft kisses they’ve been sharing.

“Jungkook, are you sure this is a good idea?” Yoongi asked between those kisses. His ex-boyfriend (and now superstar) was holding his waist tightly and pressed even more when he heard Yoongi’s voice raspy.

“If I’m sure? Hyung… Not at all. I’m not sure of anything.” Jungkook put some space between them, staring right at Yoongi’s eyes for a second. “I am sure of only one thing: I want you.” His gaze shifted to Yoongi’s lips. “What about you? Do you want me too?”

Yoongi couldn’t believe that was happening. “Fuck.” He kissed Jungkook again, this time biting his lower lip with a smile. “Where’s your room for the night?”

Jungkook chuckled and winked at Yoongi, trying to look smug. “Come with me?”

Jungkook held Yoongi’s hand and called for the elevator that quickly arrived. 

They were so focused on each other.

They didn’t even realize someone was filming them from afar.

Chapter Text

Yoongi could never forget how great of a kisser Jungkook was, which was stupid because he’d slept with a lot of people since he and the younger broke up, and even after everything, Jungkook was still the best kisser he knew. 

There were some quirks to it now, a bit of experience made him try new things but Yoongi would not think about how Jungkook kissed other people. It was expected and they even talked about it but he could not stand the thought of it, the thought of Jungkook chasing another man’s lips-

“Wait.” Yoongi pushed him lightly, making room for him to breathe and recompose himself so they could leave the elevator without being caught by possible guests who may have gone to their assigned rooms already. 

Jungkook smiled, his lips loosely smiling, a smug posture. Infuriating.

“Where is the room?” To be honest, Yoongi was kind of used to the luxury perks that came with being Jin’s friend but even he couldn’t stop thinking that the couple spent way too much money that night.  

“I think it’s the second door… Here.” He said, his tone a bit urgent. His hands were a bit unsteady and Yoongi’s heart was racing as if he just ran a marathon. 

Jungkook quickly opened the door and both of them got inside just as fast. 

The room was big - just as expected based on what Seokjin was offering at this party. 

Yoongi turned around, being right in front of Jungkook who was near the door still taking his shoes off. 

“You got better.” Yoongi said, trying to control his voice in a low tone to not show that he was actually getting nervous. 

The older one was not emotionless but he always bragged about being level-headed. It’s been a while since the last time he had a one-night stand (was that it? A one-night stand?) because he was dating Yijeon for quite a long time but Yoongi used to be good at it, used to not getting nervous before sex.

“Better?” Jungkook asked, this time genuine curiosity peeking from his voice. He loosened up the tie and took a step closer to Yoongi. 

“At kissing.” 

Jungkook laughed. “It’s good to know I didn’t forget how to do it.” That made Yoongi frown for a second before he added. “Full disclosure. I haven’t kissed anyone in a year. I haven’t slept with anyone for even longer.”

“What?”

“I told you, I haven’t got the time and it’s risky.” 

“It’s risky even now and you’re here.” 

“Because I would regret it if I wasn’t .” 

Jungkook was great with words; he’d probably say otherwise but Yoongi loved how honest he sounded every time he spoke. It was refreshing. No measured words, no lies, no hiding, only what he was feeling in its full truth.

“I feel like I’m hallucinating.” Jungkook said and he was clearly waiting for Yoongi to do something, to take the lead. Yoongi knew him enough.

So he did. 

Yoongi pulled him close by his tiny waist and put one hand on his face, kissing him right after. 

The kiss started heated, desire all over it. They both could feel it. 

The thing was that: Jungkook was sure he was losing his mind. He was pretty reckless and he knew that but he couldn’t care at all at the moment because just as he said he would regret not being there with Yoongi.

There he was, years later, jealous of Yoongi and wanting nothing more than to kiss him silly. 

He was already trying to think about how he would tell that to his therapist. 

A small smile escaped his lips but he was quickly grounded by reality when Yoongi pulled him closer and closer - and Jungkook was such a sucker for touches in general, he almost moaned. He didn’t lie, he was a bit deprived of intimacy and touches and he missed it badly. He never intended to be a clingy person but he did like all the affection he received whenever his friends were near. He loved falling asleep while hugging someone. He loved hugs. He craved kisses.

Just as if he was reading his mind, Yoongi wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s waist and held it tightly. 

Jungkook put his hands on Yoongi’s neck and deepened the kiss they were already sharing. 

Just as Jungkook remembered, he felt safe in Yoongi’s arms. 

The older one stopped for a bit and let kisses down his jaw , his neck… He put his hands over Jungkook’s shirt and started unbuttoning. The younger one had a tank top on and more tattoos.

“I lost count of how many I have by now.” He confessed as soon as he saw Yoongi gasp at seeing the ink decorating his arm and shoulder. Of course, Yoongi knew about some of his arm tattoos. Jungkook’s pictures were everywhere but the hidden ones-

“They’re pretty.” The older man said as soon as they got rid of the clothing, Yoongi’s fingers tracing some of them and making Jungkook’s muscles spasm a bit.

“I don’t really show my arm that often, you know, tattoos are not for everyone so it’s kind of a privilege for you to actually see it .” 

“Yes?” Yoongi arched one of his brows and shifted his gaze from the drawings on Jungkook’s skin to look at his eyes. “So that may also mean that nobody ever cherished them, kissed those lines on your shoulder…” 

Jungkook gulped, his breathing halted for a second.

Oh, God, he wanted that. 

And Yoongi knew exactly what he was doing. 

He knew, by experience, that Jungkook loved praises and being worshiped in bed. Jungkook always wanted to be good in bed.  

And judging by his reactions, Yoongi was sure that didn’t change. 

Yoongi was a bit different. He liked the attention and sometimes even liked being told what to do but usually he was in control and he liked it a lot.  

The few times he let go of it, also with Jungkook in different situations, he also liked it a lot as well but it came only with a handful of trust… and he didn’t trust a lot of people.  

Yoongi wasted no time and quickly gave Jungkook’s exposed shoulder a tiny kiss, trailing it down a bit before going back up and kissing his neck and collarbones. 

“Take it off.” Yoongi said and Jungkook took his tank top off in a second. His toned body is even bigger and buffier than before. “You’ve been working out.” 

“Yes… and doing concerts with choreography for three hours straight. It works wonders for my body, mind and stamina.” The last one made Yoongi chuckle.

“You used to have good stamina, if it got better, I’m doomed.” 

“If I remember it well, you used to have good stamina as well.”

“I do.” 

Jungkook’s eyes held a lot in them. The younger one sighed when he felt another light kiss on his jaw. 

Yoongi was mesmerized. Jungkook still had a lot of innocence and cuteness even though his body was the complete opposite. 

Jungkook also couldn’t help but admire how Yoongi looked better , even healthier than before and how he remained beautiful .

“Should we move this to the bed?” The older one asked.

“Yes, please.” Jungkook let out and Yoongi guided him slowly, by the waist, until they reached the enormous bed in that room. 

It was Yoongi’s turn to take off his shirt and all. Jungkook watched him eagerly while still standing. 

As soon as Yoongi threw the shirt he was wearing somewhere on the floor, Jungkook’s warm hands found their way to Yoongi’s belly and chest. 

He also was a bit toned , definitely working out - and he remembered him saying that he did because he felt the need to do something - but he was not as defined as Jungkook.  

Still crazy hot in Jungkook’s eyes. 

The younger one decided to act on what he wanted at that moment and his hands quickly found Yoongi’s zipper. Yoongi looked at him, a question in his eyes. He was making sure Jungkook really wanted it, always the ever gentleman.  

“Take your pants off. I’m going crazy here.” 

Jungkook himself was still wearing his pants - and they were getting a bit tight in the front. 

Yoongi took off the piece of clothing and Jungkook manhandled him, making him sit on the edge of the bed and, before Yoongi could ask anything, he said: “I want to suck you off so bad.” 

“Jungkook-“ He let out and Jungkook was already on his knees. 

“Thank god for this rug-“

Yoongi was still a bit astonished. That was really happening. Jungkook was indeed kneeling in front of him and asking to suck him off. 

“You should put something under your knees, the rug will be comfortable only for a bit.” 

Jungkook arched his brows. “Ugh, you’re right.” Both of them laughed and the younger stood up, grabbed one of the extra pillows inside the room’s small closet and put it on the floor, kneeling over it right after. “Great. Now I’m great.” 

Yoongi was wearing black underwear. 

And he was visibly getting hard. 

Jungkook’s mouth watered a bit just by looking at it. It’s been a really long time since he last did it. It was with Yoongi. The time he hooked up with JunHo he was at the receiving end every time.

“Are you ok? You spaced out for a second-“

“It’s just that it’s been a while.” He answered a bit unsure but still with a lot of want in his voice. 

“You don’t have to- I can do it for you.”

“I want to. I really want to.” He confessed and rose a second just to place a light kiss on Yoongi’s lips. “Come on, help me here. We need you out of this.” He said and one of his hands, previously on Yoongi’s knees, was now cupping the older one. Yoongi let out a tight moan. 

“Fuck-“ 

And just like that, he took off his underwear in a record time. Jungkook watched it and that’s when he looked at Yoongi, fully naked. 

“God, you’re so hot.” The younger one said and got his hands back on Yoongi’s thighs. His eyes wandered and he stared at the other’s cock, semi-hard, a bit red on the tip, inviting… Jungkook trailed his fingers until he got a hold of it and Yoongi was sure he was about to lose his mind. 

“It’s a bit bigger than I remembered. Guess my memory is not that great.”

That ripped a chuckle out of Yoongi. “You’re such a liar. You’re just saying it.”

Jungkook laughed as well, his hand moving slowly up and down. He was not lying, though. It was not only to boost his ego. 

He adjusted his position so he could be as comfortable as he could be and asked: “Do we have lube and condoms in here?” A sudden worry in his voice. He would just hate to stop everything.  

Yoongi seemed to wake up from his dazed expression for a second and his eyes wandered through the room. 

There was, indeed, a mini basket on the bedside table with everything, he could see it.

Seokjin was definitely a great host.

“Good. Great!” Jungkook said and before Yoongi could say anything, he tightened his hand a bit, Yoongi gasped right away. The younger one started placing kisses on his knee, his thighs, and his inner thighs and still moving his hand. 

Yoongi was about to lose his mind, the teasing being too much. 

“Jungkook…” He called and Jungkook, with a sly smile on his face , shivered. “Get to it. I’m dying here.” The younger one chuckled and after a bit more teasing, he placed his mouth near Yoongi’s cock, the warmth of his breath hitting it and Yoongi could not look away, too entranced with the view: Jungkook millimeters away from his cock, smiling. 

The younger one left little licks on the tip before actually leaning and putting it inside his mouth. 

Yoongi’s legs trembled a bit, a reaction to the feeling and Jungkook made sure to press his thigh with his free hand, this way avoiding the older one to thrust as a reflex and make him gag. 

Jungkook knew how to give oral but he was not good with deepthroating; he had a gag reflex and he always regretted trying to fit more than he could inside his mouth - that’s maybe why he didn’t even bother to try with JunHo, gladly accepting to be on the receiving end. 

Yoongi used to know that, maybe he still did.

“Are you ok?” Yoongi asked and put his hands over Jungkook’s. The younger one kept going and Yoongi understood that as a yes. 

Jungkook couldn’t fit that much in his mouth but he surely knew how to kiss and use his tongue; he was sure he could make his ex-boyfriend come only by it. 

He stopped for a bit and got back on placing kisses on Yoongi’s length. 

Their hands that met on Yoongi’s thighs were now intertwined and Yoongi’s eyes were focused, staring at Jungkook who was trying his best to give Yoongi a great blowjob and look up at him at the same time. 

When Jungkook kissed Yoongi’s balls while still stroking the older one, Yoongi was rock hard. Jungkook’s eyes widened at the first involuntary twitch and he proudly smiled, getting back to it, trying his best to fit what he could and bob his head up and down. 

It was working for Yoongi. 

He was reminded of how much he always loved to have sex with Jungkook, of how his quirks and little sounds made him way too turned on. 

Jungkook was a diligent person and he was determined. He let go of Yoongi's hand and placed it over his pants, over his own hard-on, trying to find some relief, whining a bit when he felt good while also sucking Yoongi off. 

Yoongi could collapse right there, and reach his climax at any moment. That’s when he threaded his fingers over Jungkook’s hair, holding it up so he could see more of his face and also pulling it a bit, not trying to hurt him in any way but just to make him a bit more eager. 

When he did it, Jungkook’s eyes met him and his shiny lips were glossy and reddish, a bit of drool escaping the corner of his lips. 

“You’re going to make me come if you keep going and I really really really want to fuck you tonight.” 

He could see how those words messed with Jungkook and the younger quickly melted, sitting back for a bit. His big eyes stared right at Yoongi’s. He still held Yoongi’s cock with one hand and cupped himself with his other one. 

“Can’t you go for round two after?” Jungkook teased and Yoongi laughed. 

“I do. And I plan to… But I prefer coming inside of you.” 

Jungkook groaned at that and adjusted his position, the pants clearly uncomfortable. “Take it off. It must be really uncomfortable.”

“It really is.” He said and stood up, getting rid of his pants and underwear in one go. His cock, not as big as Yoongi's, sprang free - and hard. The tip was also a bit flushed, and reddish. 

For a moment, Yoongi only stared at him and Jungkook was getting self-conscious. 

He knew he was good-looking, god, he worked hard for it and all but the look of adoration… That was new. 

His face also got a bit red; he started to blush. It’s been a few years since he was fully naked in front of someone. It was scary and also exciting. 

He knew he did a good job by sucking the other off because Yoongi’s eyes were filled up with lust and desire… And something else.

“Why are you looking at me like this?”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m precious or something. You’re staring…” 

“Because you are and because I must admit not even in my wildest dreams I thought we’d find a way to do this again.” 

“Neither did I.” Jungkook was smiling.

“I thought you hated me.”

“We thought a lot of things about each other.”

“And now we’re here.”

“Yes, we’re here.” Jungkook nodded, still standing right in front of Yoongi whose hands found their way to his waist and pulled him a bit. 

“Come to bed.” And he did listen. 

Jungkook and Yoongi were sitting in front of each other, in the middle of that huge bed, and Yoongi knew that Jungkook was waiting for him to do something. Anything. 

He leaned a bit and caught Jungkook’s lips on his own. 

“I just sucked-“

“I know and I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you a lot, kiss you senseless.” He whispered against his lips and Jungkook, with closed eyes, nodded lightly in response to his actions. 

“That would be good, yes. I like kissing. I like kissing you .” The younger one confessed and they were kissing again, this time a bit more heated and with a lot of tongue involved. Jungkook was fast to climb his way over Yoongi’s lap, which made both of them moan at the same time. Jungkook’s cock between them and Yoongi’s cock hard right under Jungkook. 

“I really want to fuck you, but if you want to do it the other way around-“

“I do want to fuck you as well but not right now.” The younger one left more kisses on Yoongi’s lips. “I want to be fucked and you know just how I like it.” 

“Am I the best you’ve ever had?” He joked and Jungkook who, unconsciously, was humping Yoongi, moving his hips, chuckled. 

“I don’t have that much experience. The answer is easy.” He paused. “Am I the best you’ve ever had?”

“I need to remember…” Yoongi started and Jungkook slapped his shoulder lightly, laughing right after.

It was still crazy to Yoongi how Jungkook didn’t have the time and freedom to sleep around now that he met a lot of people - but Yoongi can’t say that he didn’t like it. He loved the fact that he was probably the only one who shared a lot of things with Jungkook, sexually and emotionally.

Jungkook, on the other hand, was also being reminded of how much he needed and missed intimacy with someone he knew and cared about. He started the night thinking that they were just exes trying to have fun, trying to deny every butterfly he felt throughout the times he’d seen Yoongi again.

Yoongi’s fingers were again threading Jungkook’s really messy hair and he pulled it lightly just the way he knew Jungkook liked, stopping their kisses to say: “Can I eat you out?”

Jungkook groaned at the question and answered: “I’m so hard, I will come in seconds if you do it.”

“Can you handle another round later?” He asked basically the same question Jungkook did. The younger one laughed. 

“I can. Ten minutes and I’m ready for another one- Oh, fuck.” He interrupted what he was saying after feeling one of Yoongi’s fingers brushing over between his asscheeks, right over his hole. 

“I’ll make you come only with my tongue.” The older one said and Jungkook usually would doubt anyone who would promise that but he knew Yoongi could do it. 

He’d done it before.

Plenty of times. 

“Talking big, I see.” Jungkook joked and held Yoongi’s wrist avoiding his fingers for a while so he could recover his breath for a second. 

“Do you want to lie on your stomach or get on fours?”

Jungkook didn’t really answer it, he just got off Yoongi’s lap, his cock smeared with pre cum and really hard - just like Yoongi’s, for that matter - and he laid comfortably on his stomach, opening his legs a bit and using his elbows to hold his body up so he could look back and see Yoongi if he wanted to. 

“Like this.”

Yoongi could not stop looking at Jungkook and his perfect body ; His back was wide and his waist so tiny. So beautiful.  

His ex-boyfriend was always athletic and his body was always bigger than Yoongi but, now, years later. Well, Jungkook was even more defined, the idol routine gave him more muscles, and more strength.

Yoongi made himself comfortable and hovered over Jungkook, placing tiny kisses along his back, going down and leaving small bites on his cheeks and thighs, before adjusting the younger’s legs and going down on him without hesitation. The first lap on Jungkook’s hole made him react right away , his legs spasmed, trembled, and he visibly relaxed his tense body, melting in seconds. 

“Fuck, Yoongi-” Jungkook’s voice was low and he closed his eyes, now resting his head on his arms, not being able to focus on looking back. All Jungkook could focus on was the feeling.

Yoongi was great at using his tongue, it was almost unfair. 

The guy gave the best kisses, the best heads and the best rimjobs.

The older one was using his hands to hold Jungkook open, hard enough for Jungkook to know that it would probably leave marks. 

He liked it. 

Yoongi spent his sweet time licking it, kissing it and teasing Jungkook a lot . 

When he saw that Jungkook was reaching his limit, he breached the rim with his tongue, fucking him with it and Jungkook let out a sound that Yoongi was not expecting. 

It was loud, raspy and needy. So needy. 

To be honest, not even Jungkook knew he could make that sound.  

It was embarrassing . He bit his lower lip trying to hold back and Yoongi chuckled. His hands which were previously pressing and massaging his ass, were now caressing it. He was glad he could make Jungkook react like that and, the second he stopped doing what he was doing, Jungkook pushed his ass back a bit, wanting Yoongi to keep going. 

The older one gave him a light spank, to which Jungkook moaned again. “Eager, huh?”

“Don’t fucking stop, please, please, please- I’m so close, hyung. Please, please.”

Jungkook was not the one to beg that easily (at least not when they were dating), so hearing him desperately wanting more made Yoongi himself groan and feel his cock harden even more.

When Yoongi got back to it, he dared to probe a finger in Jungkook’s exposed hole. It was wet and loose enough to make it slide quite easily. 

By the sounds Jungkook made, it was the right call. 

Yoongi could see how he really was close to coming and he didn’t want to make him wait any longer; the whole point was to make Jungkook feel good.

He was still probing his finger until it was fully inside. Yoongi angled his finger a bit and searched for the spot.

“It’s not fair.” Jungkook’s voice was loud and clear. Yoongi stopped to look up at him and met his big doe eyes staring at him. “You said you’d make me come with your tongue.” He had a smug smile displayed and closed his eyes when he felt Yoongi thrusting his finger inside of him, slow movements, in and out. “Fuck-”

“Do you not like this? I can stop-” Yoongi joked and Jungkook sighed loudly and opened his eyes:

“Don’t you dare-” 

Yoongi didn’t stop, he actually finally found his prostate and Jungkook’s body convulsed uncontrollably for a few seconds and he closed his eyes again, pliant. Yoongi used his other hand to raise Jungkook’s hips for a bit but the movement matching his finger brushing over his prostate continuously made him come without any warning, with a silent scream. As soon as his cock was no longer trapped between the mattress and his body, he couldn’t hold it anymore and came all over the sheets. 

Yoongi slowed his finger and took it out even slower, he placed one last kiss on Jungkook’s lower back, making the younger one basically whine. 

His rapid breathing, his legs like jelly, he shifted his position as soon as he could, laying on his back, not really caring about the mess on the sheets.  

“Fucking hell, you still got it.” That made Yoongi laugh loudly. “I can’t even remember the last time I came this fast.” He added with a huge grin on his face , pure bliss all over his features.

“Glad you liked it.” He said and he was quick to lay by his side. Yoongi was still painfully hard but chose to ignore it-

“We’re not done. You’re still hard and I really want you to fuck me. I just - I just need a few minutes.” He giggled, his eyes still a bit unfocused and his head on the clouds. 

Jungkook hadn’t been fucked since Yoongi. The times he went to bed with JunHo, he was always the top. 

He would be lying if he said that besides being excited and in complete port orgasm bliss, he wasn’t nervous about it. 

Yoongi started caressing his waist lightly, making circles with his fingers, watching Jungkook’s chest go up and down while he tried to manage his breathing. He was still pretty horny and all but he couldn’t help but feel a bit emotional for being there . With Jungkook.

So stupid.

Jungkook moved a bit, this way looking at Yoongi and a smile escaped. 

He was so happy. 

So happy. 

Jungkook placed a kiss on his lips, making their bodies touch again. 

Their proximity made both of them super aware of every touch. Yoongi adjusted their position slowly, getting on top of the younger. Their legs intertwined, Jungkook’s hands on his waist. 

They were touching everywhere, electricity running through their veins, fire in their eyes. 

They stared at each other for a few moments, almost making sure the other was feeling the same. 

Jungkook was the one who broke eye contact, closing his eyes and relaxing his neck, stretching it back a bit.

“I’m glad we’re here.” The younger one whispered, almost as a confession. Yoongi smiled and placed tiny kisses on his jaw and neck. 

“Are you still up for another round?” 

Jungkook laughed, the movement making Yoongi’s body shake with his own. 

Adorable.

“Yes. I am.” He looked back at Yoongi once again. “I really want you to fuck me, hyung, but if you want the other way, I’ll gladly-“

“You can’t expect me to refuse when you repeatedly say that you want me to fuck you, right?” Yoongi laughed and Jungkook did as well. “You’ve been saying it like a mantra. What kind of person would I be if I refused it?”

“Yeah, you can’t miss the opportunity of fucking Jeon Jungkook, the popstar.” Jungkook joked and Yoongi shook his head.

“I can’t miss the opportunity of fucking Jungkookie, my first love and the best fuck I’ve ever had.” He said, correcting the previous sentence from Jungkook and making him giddy. 

Jungkook loved when people saw him for more than the popstar he was - and gladly in Busan he knew a lot of people who did.

“You’re so silly.” Jungkook laughed and put his hands over Yoongi’s arms, pressing it. 

They were so comfortable around each other. Jungkook lowered down all the walls around his own heart and he was fully loving that moment , he was giving his all, being himself.  

Jungkook‘s hands wandered around Yoongi’s torso and he was recognizing all of Yoongi’s traces and curves ; he took his time trying to memorize what was new with his hands between little kisses and praises. Yoongi had a few more muscles and his shoulders were broader than before.  

“I’m going to get condoms.” The younger one said after feeling himself getting hard again only by being this close to Yoongi once again. 

“I can reach it.” The older then stretched his arms and reached the small basket over the bedside table. Yoongi was not sure of what exactly he was grabbing but he just got a handful of the things inside. Gladly, he managed to grab the mini lube bottle and a few condoms. “Your brother and Jin-hyung are so silly, they put tons of condoms here. Ripped ones. Big ones. Thin ones…” He said, reading through some of the packages.

Jungkook laughed hard at that. “They’re really considerate.” 

“They’re silly!” Yoongi repeated and Jungkook kept laughing. The sound of his laughter warmed Yoongi’s inside. “Do you want to choose one?” 

“The thin one?” Jungkook suggested, feeling a bit of warmth on his cheeks, he was probably blushing at that. He knew it. 

But Yoongi knew him… And he probably remembered how much Jungkook liked being fucked raw. The thin condom would be the next best choice . The closest to it.

“Great choice.” Yoongi said and placed a kiss on his jaw.

Things were getting real. 

What they were doing - and about to do - finally sank. 

Jungkook felt nervous again. 

“What is it?” Yoongi asked and Jungkook widened his eyes. He hadn’t said a thing. 

It was weird being near someone who knew him so well - even after years.

“What?” He questioned.

“You’re a bit tense. What is it?” Yoongi said in a soft tone.

Jungkook tried relaxing. “Guess I’m just a bit nervous.”

“Do you want to stop?”

“Not at all! I’m just a bit nervous, I swear. It’s not bad. I’m excited as well. It’s just that it’s been a while since I’ve bottomed.” He started and Yoongi was fully paying attention to him.

Jungkook loved how he always made sure to listen to what he had to say - even when they were fighting. 

“We really can switch. I know you were overly confident a few minutes ago but if you feel nervous-”

“Yoongi, please, I want this. Really. So much.” Jungkook said and Yoongi studied his eyes before ripping the condom package. Jungkook looked at him while he put on the condom and when he put a lot of lube on himself. He could feel goosebumps all over his body just by watching the older one move and when he got ready, Jungkook was more than ready. He adjusted his legs, opened them a bit more, and Yoongi put some more lube on his fingers, this time using it directly on Jungkook. He made sure to warm it a little bit so it wouldn’t be too cold. 

“Hyung, please. ” Jungkook said. “Put it in, please, please, please. ” Jungkook begged and Yoongi was only a man. He delicately pushed it in and as soon as he breached the rim, Jungkook gasped, a whine with a mix of pain and pleasure ripping out of his mouth. 

“You’re so tight, fuck, Kookie.” Jungkook chuckled at that, hearing Yoongi cursing in bed was a bit funny. He tried to focus on the pleasure but he was still feeling a bit too much.

“It’s good, great, fuck, keep going-“ Jungkook closed his eyes as Yoongi moved, the feeling of him getting inside bit by bit making him almost go crazy. 

Jungkook was not even sure about the sounds he was emitting. He was calling Yoongi’s name, moaning, hissing a bit due to the small amount of pain - he was not used to being a bottom anymore - and asking for more. 

When Yoongi bottomed out, Jungkook focused his dazed eyes on the man on top of him. Yoongi had these creases on his forehead , he seemed focused , his cheeks were a bit red and a tiny layer of sweat covered his face.  

Jungkook, with an open mouth, and saying Yoongi’s name like a mantra, could not stop staring at his beauty. 

He felt emotional right away and even though he wanted sex and usually went after something a bit hard, he could only think about how much he wanted them to enjoy it slowly. 

Yoongi waited until he was ready. “You can move. ” Jungkook said in a low voice. Yoongi placed a tiny kiss on his lips and started moving, slowly, paced. “Oh, F-fuck. Yes.” He let out and it made Yoongi speed up a bit. He knew what he liked, knew what Jungkook liked as well. He wouldn’t forget that. They slept together way too many times for him to forget that Jungkook liked a bit rough, liked a bit extra.

“Wait- Just- Slow.” And it caught Yoongi by surprise, honestly. Yoongi searched for his eyes. 

“Slow? Are you ok? Does it hurt?” 

Jungkook was quick to shake his head. “No, it’s just… Can we go slow this time?” He asked and he was feeling so full , he needed to take a deep breath between words.

“Oh . Ok. Ok .” Yoongi nodded right away and Jungkook smiled, closing his eyes, letting the feeling of being intimate with someone, with Yoongi, take over.  

Yoongi was good at it too. Great even.

It was infuriating how good he was at everything sexual… Or maybe he just memorized a lot about what Jungkook liked and disliked. 

Or maybe - and probably - Jungkook was touch starved. 

Before Jungkook could say anything, Yoongi started moving, slowly, just like Jungkook wanted. Just like Jungkook craved.

Yoongi’s hands caressed, drawing circles on Jungkook’s hips and thighs while moving. 

Only grunts, moans, pants and small words filled the room. 

Jungkook closed his eyes, a loud cry escaping his lips when Yoongi hit it just right in his prostate. His body trembled on Yoongi’s hands. 

“Right there, please, right there.”

Yoongi smiled at his reaction and kept doing what he was doing, angling his hips a bit to reach what he wanted constantly . Jungkook’s eyes rolled and he was leaking pre cum already, untouched. 

Jungkook could easily come untouched if Yoongi kept doing what he was doing but he was grateful when the older one placed a kiss on his lips and used one of his hands to jerk Jungkook off while moving inside of him. 

Just the feeling of Yoongi’s hand around him was enough for him to feel like his body was on fire; with each thrust and praising words, Jungkook was sure he was in pure bliss. 

“I’m so close, hyung. St-stop. I want you to come first. I want to make you feel good too.” His mouth was running those words and Yoongi’s thrusts sped up a bit - not that much. He still wanted to give what Jungkook wanted, what Jungkook asked. 

“You’re making me feel great.” He said, his eyes trying to look right at Jungkook’s. 

“Yeah? Oh- Fuc- Yoongi!” Jungkook halted his breath for a second and threw his head back, his hair sticking all over his forehead. Yoongi wasn’t that much different, his long hair strands sticking in his face and nape.

Yoongi flipped his wrist just right and Jungkook could swear he saw stars, his body announcing another orgasm coming and his eyes unfocused, his mouth displaying a huge grin from satisfaction and bliss. 

“I’m close too, baby, just let it go.” Yoongi said and Jungkook really couldn’t hold it anymore. 

At another thrust right over his prostate, Jungkook’s body arched and trembled. He let out a loud cry between loud moans. He came so much, his release spilling all over Yoongi’s hand as he shuddered violently; his breathing was ragged. Yoongi’s hand pumped him slowly, milking his orgasm. It was too much, Jungkook was really sensitive, his cock needed a break, but he wanted Yoongi to come - and he could endure a bit of sensitivity.

“Hyung, I want you to come inside of me-” Jungkook didn’t even finish that sentence and Yoongi was coming as well. He clearly held back so Jungkook would come first. He let go of Jungkook’s cock and held his waist tightly, his hips still thrusting - slower this time - and his moans sinful, staccato sounds making Jungkook’s head spin. 

He did that. 

They did that. 

They shared kisses, rushed ones. Yoongi was still inside Jungkook, still moving his hips and thrusting agonizingly slow inside of him even after coming. He probably didn’t even notice that he was doing it. They were basically making out again-

“T-too much, hyung.” He said and Yoongi stopped his kisses and his thrusts altogether, searching for Jungkook’s eyes. “I’m- I’m sensitive-”

Yoongi nodded and gently pulled out. Jungkook's hole clenched empty. 

The younger one let out a sigh and his mind was still a bit hazy after amazing orgasms.

They both had a lot to say but it took them a minute to break the silence. Yoongi already got rid of the used condom and put it inside the bin near the bedside table.

Jungkook watched him closely, hoping he would stay for a bit.

Yoongi moved and, exhausted, lay by Jungkook’s side. “Are you ok?” He asked, a tone of worry lacing his voice. “You got quiet.”

Jungkook looked at him, smiling. “I’m great.” He paused. “Really.” Another pause. “I’m just regaining my breath and refocusing. You fucked me into oblivion.”

Yoongi laughed at that and the sound of his laughter made the room warmer. Jungkook watched him for a bit, still smiling and his breathing a bit erratic.  

“You’re still overdramatic, I see. ” Yoongi said.

“I learned a lot from Jin-hyung when he called me.” They both chuckled at that and the tense silence from a moment before was now comfortable and sweet.  

“We just did that. ” Yoongi said and he shifted his body, being able to look at Jungkook - who was staring at the ceiling. 

“Yes, we did.” 

Yoongi didn’t waste any time , he quickly got even closer to Jungkook and wrapped one arm around his torso. “Is this ok?” He asked.  

“Yes. I like hugs, I like hugging and cuddling. You know that.”

“I do, but I was not sure you would like cuddling with your ex-boyfriend.”

“Well, we just fucked so I can say that cuddling and hugging is not that big of a deal.” He joked and Yoongi pinched his side, Jungkook laughed and arched a bit for a second. 

Jungkook put one arm around Yoongi, letting him rest his head on it. It was still sinking the information and the feeling that they really just fucked, after years of being apart, after years of breaking up- It was great, the sex was amazing and exactly what Jungkook was hoping for when he decided he would take Yoongi to his assigned room. 

But, now, after the orgasm bliss and all the horny thoughts, he wondered what they were doing-

“Jungkook?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t overthink it. I know I’m trying not to as well. Let’s just enjoy tonight, huh?”

As always, Yoongi was great at reading Jungkook. 

“Right, yes.” And he felt his limbs relaxing, Yoongi clearly felt it too and his fingers started drawing patterns on Jungkook’s chest.  

“We can talk and be serious tomorrow. Tonight, I really just want to focus on the fact that we had the best sex I’ve had in a really long time and that you’re here. Crazy.”

Jungkook snorted at that. 

“In a really long time? You were dating-”

“Yes, I was. But this? This was amazing.”

Again, Jungkook laughed. This time, endeared and a bit shy. 

“You’re just saying that to boost my ego.”

“I’m not- You said you haven’t bottomed in a long time as well…” The older one said, trying to casually make Jungkook say more .

“It was with you. The last time.” He confessed, still staring at the ceiling and starting some caresses on Yoongi’s hair and scalp. 

He was glad that Yoongi could not look at him directly because of the position they were in , because Jungkook was sure he was blushing.  

“Really? It’s been years…”

“Yes. I mean, I’ve had sex after breaking up with you, I told you. Not that much, but yeah… But I never bottomed. I guess it requires a lot of trust for me-” He stopped his words. 

“And you still trust me?”

“I know a lot went on between us, I know and you do too. But I trust you just the same. Things were just too hard on us and a lot happened- but never lacked trust between us. And I feel just the same still, I feel like I have a lot to learn about you - and everyone really - but I also feel like I know you so well.”

“That’s nice to hear, especially because you said earlier that we barely know each other. And it’s true, we have a lot to talk about and update each other… But deep down, we’re still the same? I mean, not the same-” Yoongi said and he was starting to stutter. Jungkook smiled. “Thank you for trusting me, even after everything.” Yoongi completed.

Jungkook believed that Yoongi would never hurt him in any way if he could avoid it. He knew they both hurt the other when they broke up because they were frustrated, angry, jealous, sad… It was never intentional.

“I do. Don’t know if I should but I do.” He answered and Yoongi placed a tiny kiss on his shoulder. “I need to say something, though.”

“Yes?”

“You’ve got better at this.”

“Ugh, shut up. Don’t need to review it-”

“I mean it!”

“I’ve always been good.”

“We, together, always have been great.” Jungkook chuckled and he put his free hand over Yoongi’s, intertwining their fingers right away. 

“We should take a shower, change these sheets…” Yoongi said.

“We should.”

None of them moved, their bodies tired and entangled. 

Jungkook remained where he was, afraid of popping that bubble around them and going back to reality.

The night was filled with light conversation and small talk; they didn’t dare to talk about feelings again. After a while, both were too sleepy to focus on anything. 

They slept like that, holding hands and with their bodies entangled, going back to memory lane.

–- x --

Taehyung was awake. 

It was hard to sleep with so much in his mind. He tried but he just couldn’t. 

He decided he would treat himself and watch some random movie in the living room while eating some gummies he brought for Jungkook.

He found a random fiction movie on TV but he was not paying attention at all. 

He stopped looking at his phone once he received a text from Hoseok asking where he was. 

Taehyung didn’t want to talk to him - or anyone - so he just put his phone on airplane mode.  

He was feeling so stupid; stupid for not realizing how Jimin and Hoseok felt about each other - which was obvious by Jimin’s actions and the fact that Hoseok talked a lot about his business partner.  

He also felt stupid because he clearly got in their way without even meaning it.

And because he let himself believe that it could work. 

He snorted as soon as he remembered how naive he was just a few hours ago. He flirted quite a lot with Hoseok and he decided he would take his time to get to know the dancer, he would do things right and respect his own limits , his own boundaries.  

Taehyung was never the one to kiss on first dates , he always needed a bit more for it. It usually made some people think he was not interested and they usually gave up on trying to woo him but Hoseok was different. He understood and it made him feel wanted in ways he was not used to.  

Not anymore, at least. 

Taehyung didn’t have a great experience with relationships - and he barely talked about it either. He was great at making deals, at managing Jungkook’s busy agenda and even his personal life but when it came to his own, he was lost.

When he came out as bisexual, he got kicked out of his home. His parents didn’t want him around and that was it. He had to work a lot to be able to study and find a nice job like the one he had now. 

And it was only possible because his boyfriend and his girlfriend helped him. 

Yes, Tae had a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time. They were a throuple for the longest time. They met at a part-time job and fell in love; as soon as they understood that they could love more than one person and that their relationship could be about the three of them, they decided to live together. Besides all the love, they really needed to save some money and it felt right.

Taehyung managed to study and had help from them, especially from his girlfriend who was also in college at the same time. They helped each other a lot. 

It went on for 4 years; their relationship almost reached the 5-year milestone when the fights started. 

At that time, Taehyung felt like he was being left behind and it made them fight and argue a lot.  

They made Tae believe that he was paranoid and probably just insecure - which was insane because Taehyung trusted them blindly and he loved them greatly. He was not paranoid, he could see how both of them started avoiding alone time with him and that they weren’t going on dates together - not with Tae, at least. Both of them always said that they were just busy but it was not entirely true. They always made time for each other but never for Taehyung, even when he tried really hard to be with them.

After a few more fights, he wondered if they were right and he started doubting himself. He caught himself wondering more than once if they were right and if he was just being clingy and annoying. Maybe he was indeed paranoid.

Their relationship had rules; it was not an usual one so they talked a lot about things that upset the other and adjusted everything so no one would get hurt throughout the whole time of it . They were learning as it went , none of them ever had a relationship like that before. When something didn’t feel right, they sat together and talked. It was always like that. 

At their relationship milestone, they pretty much knew what the other felt and all the rules by heart- and that was exactly why Taehyung was so confused when, one day, they went overboard. 

Did they want to hurt Taehyung? 

One day, they broke one of the rules and Taehyung cried a lot… and they fought again. 

That time, his boyfriend said that they should break up - that it wasn’t working out anymore. 

Taehyung was so naive, for a minute there he thought they were all breaking up but it was not the case. They wanted to stay together; they just didn’t want Taehyung anymore. 

After a week or so, when Taehyung was grabbing his stuff and putting it inside a suitcase (because, of course, he wouldn’t stay there any longer than he needed to), they finally talked. 

They helped Taehyung pack and his boyfriend confessed he fell out of love. 

She told him the same. 

Taehyung asked what he did wrong. It must’ve been something, right? None of them answered. They just said that they fell out of love and that they talked about trying to be a couple, the two of them, but they didn’t want to hurt Taehyung, so they endured being with him. 

Endured.

That made him feel terrible, a burden, a person not worthy of love.

He got hurt anyway and, worst of all, he felt humiliated.

He was still deeply in love with both of them; the moment when they fell out of love with him never hit him. He never stopped being grateful for them, never stopped caring about them, never stopped wanting them - even though they barely kissed or touched Taehyung for weeks at that point.

Taehyung cried the loss of two loves, cried because he was in Seoul all alone, cried because he had nowhere to go back to, cried because he doubted himself and genuinely wondered if he was paranoid, cried because the people he loved the most turned him into someone insecure, cried because his heart was shattered, cried because he learned that love could be bigger than what people think but he wished he wouldn’t love anyone anymore, cried because he felt wronged.

He cried because people who claimed to love him unconditionally let him go. 

Again.

Just like his parents once did. 

He managed to find a place to work, to find another job and, well, there he was after years. He started working at that company almost at the same time Jungkook started training , he was also diligent and organized, managed to be promoted and the rest is history.

He was good, great even but sometimes he felt lonely. He had hookups here and there but he never let himself connect with anyone, afraid of not being able to deal with a relationship with his now busy schedule and responsibilities - at least that’s what he told himself and Jungkook. 

Jungkook didn’t know much about his past , he never talked about it. It hurt too much and he could not crumble in front of his best friend. All he knew was that Taehyung had a long relationship, that it didn’t work and that he was not made for one-night stands.

He couldn’t be that weak, not anymore. 

He, on the other side, knew a lot about Jungkook because they were best friends and because his record was on Taehyung’s phone. It was his job , literally, to know everything about him - and that’s exactly why he was surprised to hear about Yoongi.

He never knew Jungkook had it in him to keep a secret that well from him. 

It made him wonder if his best friend had more secrets.

Jungkook always told him to go out and meet new people. He always told Tae that he was a social butterfly and that people could easily fall in love with him if he let them. 

Taehyung didn’t know how willing he was to let someone in.

Until Hoseok. 

They barely knew each other but he felt butterflies inside his stomach when they talked… And he always paid attention to everything he said , he was funny, he was outgoing and made Taehyung feel a lot.  

He kept going back and forth inside his own mind and memories, when he heard:

“You’re still awake.” He was startled, almost falling over the couch. It was Mrs. Jeon. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t-” He laughed lightly, she totally did. “I just thought you would sleep there, I was not expecting anyone.”

“I love parties and love my sons but there’s nothing better than sleeping in my own bed after a tiring night. Namjoon gave me his key and I came; I couldn’t find Jungkook. I even thought that he’d be here as well.”

“No, he’s not here.”

“Huh.” They were both thinking the same but neither dared to say. “And why are you still up? Are you feeling any better?”

“ No longer have a headache but I just couldn’t fall asleep, so I came to search for some trash TV.”

“My favorite.” She said and unceremoniously sat by Taehyung’s side. “You know? I thought you’d end the night with Hoseok.” She mentioned, nonchalantly, clearly fishing for information but being gentle and kind enough to not stare at him or anything. 

“I- Yeah. That would make sense but, no, I’ve had a headache-”

“We both know you didn’t.” He gulped at that, still staring at the TV. Mrs. Jeon finally looked at him. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it. I’m a great listener but I won’t make you uncomfortable. I just really want to help.”

Taehyung could see how genuinely worried she was, she had Jungkook’s expression . Kind and understanding. 

“Let’s just say that Jimin and he hit it off. It didn’t feel right to be there anymore.”

“Oh.” She said, clearly surprised. “Is that so?”

“They look good together, honestly. It makes sense.” He confessed. It was true.

“You and Hoseok also made sense.” 

“Yes, I guess.” He paused. “Nothing can be done now. I’m fine. They’re good for each other.” 

He was not that fine.

She knew. 

“I’ll make hot chocolate for both of us. It’s comforting and you need one of those.”

Taehyung chuckled and gratefully nodded. He couldn’t remember the last time someone offered to give him comfort with food.

The last time someone offered a hot chocolate to make him happy was probably his mother when they were still talking. 

It was almost 4 in the morning and he was having some quality time with Jungkook’s mother who was visibly tired but being kind enough to keep him company.  

The trash movie they were watching just ended and Taehyung decided to finally answer one of the questions Mrs. Jeon did during it. 

“I’m not sad… Or maybe I am. I’m just really tired of not being the first choice. To anyone.” He sighed. “I should get used to it, it happened quite a few times… But I always think that maybe, if I give it another chance, it will be different. Well, It never is. I was not the first choice in my last relationship; My parents didn’t choose me, they’d rather keep the family image than have a bisexual son… Even with Jungkook, I’m sure Jimin is his first choice- and that’s fine. I’m not mad about it. I know I’m important to Jungkook. I know that and I’m not the one to measure love, I’m all for loving a lot of people and being there for them but, when it comes down to it, I’m not the one who people ask to stay. I guess seeing Jimin and Hoseok just made me think about it.” He paused. “I don’t know how I’m going to stay here for a few more days, I’m embarrassed. I really should go back to Seoul and work, try to go forward with some paperwork-”

“Darling, we both know you don’t want to go back to Seoul alone, and to work.” She, then, hugs him. 

For a moment there, he felt like her son. 

“I have much to say but I’ll tell you only this. You’re clearly loved and I'm sure a lot of people enjoy your presence, you’re like a shining light wherever you go. I know you’re sad and those things made you think about not-so-pleasant moments of your past but think about now, about your future. You’re young and have so much to live. Don’t drown yourself in work to avoid your feelings.” She looked at him. “You mentioned that your parents are not in the picture anymore and I’m sorry they were that harsh on you. I know we don’t know each other for long but every friend of Jungkook is another son for me. I’m here for you.”

Taehyung didn’t mean to tear up when he heard that but he did. 

He was an emotional person when he let himself feel what his heart screamed. 

“Thank you. Really. For listening and for caring.” He shyly said. She adjusted his hair, gently. “Can I ask you something?” He asked.

“Anything.”

“Don’t tell Jungkook. He has enough to worry about and I’ve never told him about my parents, not with details and-”

“Your secret is safe with me… But I’m sure he would love to know more about you. You’re his best friend after all. I know Jungkook has a lot to deal with but he is a great friend and also a great listener when he puts his mind to it. He learned with the best, me.”

“I promise I’ll think about it.”

Taehyung never dared to tell Jungkook any of that because it hurt to remember, because he didn’t want Jungkook to see this side of him and he didn’t want Jungkook to worry. 

Again, maybe, he was afraid Jungkook would leave him behind as well - at least their friendship part because he couldn’t really get rid of Tae as his manager. 

He needed to sleep, that would do wonders. 

— x —

Hoseok tried calling Jimin and Taehyung at least a hundred times but neither of them answered. 

He went back home and it was really late. He should have slept and tried to deal with everything the next day but his mind didn’t stop.  

Hoseok liked Taehyung . A lot. They’ve known each other for days and he felt a huge connection with the guy. He was funny, caring, outgoing and really beautiful. He liked the small things and was always smiling. 

Hoseok felt a lot when they met; it’s been a while since Hoseok was interested in someone and they hit it off.

Their date was super nice even though they didn’t kiss and Hobi thought about Taehyung quite a lot, and texted him memes and selfies. 

He knew that he shouldn’t get that involved with him, he would be back in Seoul in a few days, and by the busy life he knew Jungkook had, he could only assume Taehyung’s was even busier. 

But he couldn’t keep away. He let himself have that, all the flirting and nice words. 

He was sure their first kiss would happen at the party but suddenly Jimin rocked his whole world and he was not sure about what he was feeling anymore. He never looked at Jimin with those eyes, they’d been friends for years and that was only it. After Jimin’s confession something shifted, he was sure of it.

He was so confused.

He texted both of them once again before deciding to finally go to sleep . 

— x —

Jungkook woke up smiling. They managed to stay close during sleep and he woke up holding Yoongi’s waist, breathing in the scent of his hair.

He couldn’t help himself and placed a tiny feather kiss on Yoongi’s nape.

“Good morning. ” Yoongi mumbled and his voice was not groggy , he probably was awake for a while now.  

“Good morning. ” Jungkook replied and placed another kiss on the same spot.

A brief silence between them until Yoongi asked: “Are we ok?” 

Jungkook knew that was coming. If Yoongi hadn’t asked, he would have done it as well. 

“Yes, I guess. Are we?” 

“ Yes. ” Yoongi answered, making Jungkook tighten their hug. The action made them get even closer and Jungkook noticed when Yoongi tensed a bit under his touch. “Just making sure because the last time we slept together, we ended up fighting and not talking to each other for a long time.” It was true, they had that big fight but it was different. That time, there were too many unsaid promises and feelings. It was way too different from how things unwrapped between them during the past week. They clearly felt a lot but they knew where they stood, they knew that some unsaid things would remain unsaid. 

“I know. But we’re older now and we’re not boyfriends-”

“We weren’t either, we had broken up- ”

“But it was too fresh, too deep.” Jungkook paused. “Now, I don’t know, we’re a bit more mature about this. Right?” 

It was also true, they were. 

At first, he thought he was imagining it but when Yoongi adjusted himself by making them touch everywhere he knew Yoongi was suggesting something. 

Jungkook placed a kiss on his nape again and then his shoulder. “I think I could stay in bed with you for the rest of my life.” Yoongi laughed at that. 

“You’re only saying this because we closed our bubble. Once reality hits, things will no longer be this easy.” 

And, again, it was true, Jungkook knew it.

A lot went on during the past years and even though they were clearly attracted to the other still , there are lots of things they don’t know about each other anymore .  

“I don’t care. Not right no w.” Jungkook said and he put one hand over Yoongi’s thigh, caressing it and teasing, making Yoongi flutter.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Jungkook?” Yoongi asked, trying to act naive but Jungkook was feeling how he moved his hips back, searching for friction. 

“Is it working?” 

“Only if you stop teasing- oh. ” Yoongi said with a smile on his face, still not facing Jungkook. He let out a gasp once he felt Jungkook’s hand around his cock. 

“Is it good?” Jungkook asked right in Yoongi’s ear before biting it lightly. He was glad to know that Yoongi also woke up with a hard-on. 

Yoongi answered: “Yes- oh, fuck, do something. Anything.” 

And Jungkook moved his hand, stroking the older one. The slide was not so easy because they needed lube or something. Jungkook moved quickly and got back to his initial position after grabbing the discarded bottle of lube on the floor. He put a crazy amount in his hand making Yoongi laugh before touching him again.  

Yoongi was trying to restrain his movements, trying to not sound or look as desperate as he already was that early in the morning but he was really horny and Jungkook’s hands on him weren’t making anything easier. 

“Jungkook-“ 

“What do you want, hyung?” Another kiss on his shoulder blade and Yoongi was sure he was going to lose it.

“Fuck me.” He took a deep breath as soon as Jungkook’s hand stopped moving and a whine left his mouth involuntarily. He shifted his body, still managing to be in Jungkook’s embrace but now looking at his eyes. “Fuck me, Jungkook.” He asked with lust in his eyes and Jungkook was probably just the same. “I don’t know if we’re going to have any other chance-“ Yoongi stopped talking when Jungkook kissed him, interrupting him. 

“Don’t.” He said. “Not right now.”

“Alright.” He said and placed another kiss on Jungkook’s lips.

Morning sex was Yoongi’s favorite. Jungkook knew that, he could remember how needy Yoongi usually woke up. 

Just like he was at that very moment. 

The younger one took his time prepping Yoongi, slowly teasing and getting him on edge. Yoongi was about to curse at Jungkook when the younger one got inside of him.  

The feeling of being together overpowering everything. The rhythm in Jungkook’s thrusts, their sounds, their feelings… All of it was overwhelming. 

Yoongi came quickly and Jungkook couldn’t hold much longer as well. 

Smiles plastered on their faces, pants and deep breaths, sweat all over their bodies, reddish lips due to all the kissing, and red bruises where they bit each other. 

Jungkook was beautiful, and Yoongi once again was struck by that thought. 

The man on top of him, with a loose smile was breathtaking, looking happy and relaxed.

Every time he saw Jungkook smile, he was taken to memory lane back when they were dating. 

“We really need a shower. You came so much.” Jungkook said after being under Yoongi’s stare for a while and kissed his lips leaving the older one, who was still trying to think of anything after that orgasm - and after realizing that maybe Jungkook was always inside of his heart even when he was not supposed to. - “It’s getting sticky.” Jungkook scrunched up his nose and Yoongi watched his every move, shaking off all of his thoughts. 

Jungkook came inside of him (he was using a condom) and Yoongi came in their stomachs and all over Jungkook’s hand - about this one: Jungkook licked his fingers clean and Yoongi was sure he could pop another boner in record time if he didn’t stop the younger when he was doing it. 

A menace. 

“Give me two minutes .” He said and Jungkook nodded. Yoongi pulled him closer in a hug. Jungkook didn't expect it but he loved it.  

For a minute there, he wished that he could have Yoongi in his embrace every day. 

For a minute there , he wondered if life would be like this if he had stayed.

“Jungkook?”

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you took the time to see your family. I’m glad you achieved so much.” Yoongi confessed and Jungkook smiled at that. 

“I’m proud of you as well, hyung. You managed to be the producer you always strived to be and kept the normalcy, stayed where you wanted to.”  

Jungkook was about to say that they both lost each other on the way but they managed to make it work for them . He remained quiet.

What the younger said stung enough but he knew Jungkook didn’t mean to do any harm with his words.  

He was used to Jungkook talking with no filter at all , always trying to be as transparent as he could be .

“Do you think we would’ve done well if we had tried?” 

“Tried what? Being together?” Jungkook asked, his chest clenching at the thought.

“Yes.”

“I don’t know.” Jungkook sighed. “Maybe? I try not to think about what I lost on the way to get where I am.” Another punch, this time to both of their hearts. A comfortable silence took place and Jungkook placed kisses on his collarbone, gently. “Why are you trying to think about it now?” The younger one asked. He really wanted to understand because he thought they would eventually talk about the fact that they just slept together twice but not right at that moment .

“I don’t know. Just thought about it.” He paused. “Are we doing the right thing?” 

Jungkook sighed before looking at Yoongi. 

“Yoongi…”

“I’m sorry, I know you said that we would need a proper talk and that last night wasn’t about that.”

“Let’s shower, have breakfast and talk. Ok?” 

Yoongi was not sure about what he wanted , maybe he just wanted to know where they stood. He needed to know if that was a hookup, if that was them trying to maybe deal with more, if that was their final goodbye… It was probably the latter.

“Fine.”

Chapter Text

Yoongi was drying his hair with a towel, sitting on the bed while Jungkook was still in the bathroom adjusting his hair in front of the mirror. 

The younger one sure took his time before going back to the room with only a towel around his waist. 

“I didn’t bring any other clothes.” Jungkook said, looking at Yoongi, who was already in his pants from last night and had an open shirt. “God, how do you look so hot with yesterday’s wrinkled clothes? It’s unfair.” Jungkook joked with a pout and Yoongi chuckled lightly. 

He never felt that he was the epitome of beauty but Jungkook always made sure to let him know he looked good even on the smallest occasions. 

He was glad that didn’t change , he quite missed, the random and unexpected compliments.

Yoongi watched Jungkook apply some body moisturizer and held back the urge to help him , to touch him again.  

Yoongi’s body missed Jungkook’s already; he wondered for how much longer he would be able to be that close to Jungkook… And, to be honest, that was messing up with his head. 

He loved everything about the prior night - and about every time he met Jungkook in these past few days - but it wasn’t supposed to be like that , was it? How did they come from not talking at all to where they were right at that moment?

“I’ll wait for it to dry a bit before putting on some clothes.” He said and sat by Yoongi’s side. Yoongi smiled at that. Jungkook still had the same habits and it made him happy to know that between his crazy busy life he found time to take care of himself here and there.

“When are you leaving?” Yoongi asked after deciding to rip off the bandaid as soon as possible. He knew they were supposed to talk over breakfast or lunch but he couldn’t wait , not anymore. Not when he really wanted to hold Jungkook close again but he didn’t know if he should.

Jungkook looked at him ready to say that they should talk later, repeat what he suggested earlier, but the urgency in Yoongi’s eyes made him answer:

“I guess I can stay for eight more days… I don't know exactly, I really should ask Taehyung that. He knows my schedule like the back of his hand.” 

“Eight days.” Yoongi repeated, trying to sink in the information. 

“Yeah, I took two weeks off and, well, I need to go back…” He paused. “I’m sorry. I can see that it’s not what you wanted to hear.” 

Yoongi schooled his face right at that moment. He wished he had more time, yes. Last night even made him pretend that they had all the time in the world… But he knew Jungkook would go back to Seoul eventually. That was how things were. 

If things were different, maybe that would be the time he would stay but he was an idol now and he talked passionately about it. He really loved what he did and everyone around him could see that… And Yoongi worked in the music industry long enough to know that a singer should be in Seoul, where everything happened. 

“Well, we knew from the start that you’d only stay a few days. It’s not exactly a surprise. I’m more surprised with what happened between us than with the fact that you have to go back to your work.”

“Surprised with what happened between us?” Jungkook frowned a bit.

“Neither of us can really say we expected that to happen. We haven’t talked for a really long time… It’s a good thing, though.”

“Last time we slept together, you said you regretted it.” Jungkook reminisced and Yoongi bit his lower lip.

“I didn’t.” He paused. “I was just frustrated that we got into that really big fight and I probably said that meaning that maybe if we hadn’t crossed the lines, we’d be ok at that moment.”

“Yeah, I know what you meant. It’s fine, it’s been a long time, you don’t have to explain yourself-”

“I missed you, Kookie.” Yoongi stated, interrupting Jungkook. The younger one looked at him and blushed violently. “We said it already, I know, but I did. This week has been surreal if we stop to think about it. I loved spending time with you.”

“Please, don’t do this.” Jungkook said, finally. Still blushing but trying to be rational. “You’re making it hard.”

“What?”

“You’re making it hard for me to leave again.” He confessed. “We met again, spent some time together and realized we don’t hate each other which was great. We hung out, we kissed, we fucked… But we both know that our lives are so different. Don’t talk like that if you’re not willing to dive in with me.” He bit his lower lip and avoided looking at Yoongi’s eyes. “These past few years were hard for me. I told you that I don’t have many friends, my brother didn’t speak to me until yesterday, my father is a dickhead, I spent years thinking you hated me and it broke my heart every time I thought about it.” He sighed. “I’m just saying that I made decisions to help my family out and the initial plan was to make money and come back to Busan, back to my family, maybe come back to you… but now I’m an idol , I have responsibilities, fans, a job I love and it’s all in Seoul. I gave up a lot when I had to go to Seoul for money, I left my family, my friends, and you behind. I did it thinking about the people I love… Now this? My music and the life I’m currently living, this is my choice. This is for me. I know it has a lot of downsides and a lot of lack of privacy and a lot of things I can’t do but I chose it.” He paused. “I can’t and I won’t come back to Busan to stay so soon. I’m sorry, Yoongi. I know that is probably not what you want to hear but it’s the truth . I can’t pretend that being with you doesn’t make my heart flutter and want more, it does! But I don’t want my heart to break again because of you. You can’t say that stuff to me. You can say that you missed me and all - I missed you too - but you can’t say it like you wish I could stay when you probably didn’t spare a second to think that maybe you could go with me.”

“We tried a long-distance relationship before. I’m not made for a city as big as Seoul, it makes me anxious and I have a life here-“

“Did we really try?” Jungkook chuckled, sadly. “We broke up on your first visit. We didn’t really try.”

And he was right.

It was hard being away from each other, when they met they talked about how lonely they felt and how they thought that they were holding the other back.

“So… Is that it?” Yoongi asked.

“I’d like to keep seeing you until I have to go. I don’t know if it’s wise, if it will break our hearts at the end but I want it.”

Yoongi stared at the man in front of him. Jungkook indeed matured a lot, his shy demeanor still showed up and sometimes he was really confused and really torn between what his heart wanted and what would be reasonable but seeing him act like that, talk like that, articulate his words like that… Yeah, he definitely got better at pinpointing what he was feeling and how to deal with it. 

Yoongi was about to answer when someone knocked at the door, taking him both by surprise. Jungkook even jumped a bit, startled. 

The knocks continued, multiple knocks.

At first, they thought they were overstaying in the room but Yoongi was sure Seokjin and Namjoon rented the place for the whole day. There was still a brunch in the line, he was certain of it. 

The knocks didn’t stop and then: “Jungkook-ah? Are you there?” More knocks. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” It was Taehyung’s voice. Frantic and urgent. 

Yoongi didn’t know what to do but Taehyung’s alarmed voice made him feel that something was wrong. 

Jungkook felt it too. His features became serious once he realized it was Taehyung by the door. 

“Maybe he went home-“ It was Namjoon’s voice and it all became way too weird. 

“I am going to get the door. ” Jungkook said to Yoongi before rushing to it, the sound of their voices was making him anxious. 

The door opened.

Namjoon, Seokjin, Jimin and Taehyung were standing there.

Something was definitely wrong.

“Oh, thank God, you’re here!” 

“Uhm, hi.” Jungkook was confused but he realized all of them had their phones in their hands. “Is everything ok?” He asked and Taehyung looked at him intently .  

“Do you have your phone with you?” 

“Uh-“

“We left it back in the lounge. We came here and didn’t go there yet to claim it again-“ Yoongi said, interrupting Jungkook’s train of thought.

None of them batted an eye to the fact that Jungkook was almost naked and Yoongi was in his room with an open shirt.  “Shouldn’t you be packing? I thought you were going to Jeju for a couple of days.” Yoongi asked.

“What is going on? Is mom ok? Why are you looking at me like that? Why did you ask about my phone? Were you looking for me? Did you call?” Jungkook’s eyes wandered through all of them, trying to catch whatever hint he could and trying to avoid thinking about what his friends were thinking to see him in a room with his ex-boyfriend.

“I think you should sit down.” 

Ok, something was very very wrong. 

“What is going on?” Jungkook asked again and this time he looked at his brother who, for the first time in years, looked at him with a pang of genuine worry. 

They made their way inside the room and Jimin closed the door.

“It’s not about mom. She’s fine. It’s about you.” Namjoon spoke. His tone was calm and collected, too behaved . It was the same tone people in his company talked to him to tell him bad news. 

“Me?”

“You two.”

Yoongi frowned. “Me?”

Taehyung just showed them his phone. 

It took a second for Jungkook to understand what he was looking at. It was a video, a terrible one, the quality was deplorable. 

“What is this?” Yoongi’s voice was cold when he asked, trying to make sense of what he was watching.

“Someone filmed you guys last night. ” Jimin said and Jungkook finally made the connection and finally understood the video.

It was him with Yoongi, near the elevators.

The video was short but enough to show them kissing and hugging . Those intimate kisses, kisses that were supposed to be only theirs. 

The quality was terrible but it was easy to say that it was Jungkook and another guy.

“Now, the media started talking shit about your brother’s engagement as well. They knew your brother was getting engaged to another man but we managed to keep it on the low but now, with this video, they are talking shit about you, Yoongi and even Namjoon and Seokjin.” Taehyung was in work mode, Jungkook could tell.  

That was bad . 

A dating scandal could easily destroy someone’s career. The industry was terrible when it came to it. And, in that case, it was even worse. Jungkook was hugely famous and a dating scandal with a man could only be worse. The country was way too conservative to accept it lightly and with an open heart.

Jungkook never wanted people talking about his family and definitely he never wanted the media to research about his ex-boyfriend. 

He looked at Yoongi who was visibly surprised and worried, with wide eyes.

“What do we do? They want money?” Jungkook quickly asked.

Taehyung shared a look with Seokjin.

“Kookie, it’s everywhere. They posted it on social media and-“ Seokjin started and Jungkook blinked a few times. He no longer listened.

He was probably just having a nightmare.

“What?” His voice cracked. “I thought they sent it only to you- They usually do that, no? They ask for money before posting anything!” 

“They couldn’t get a hold of me earlier and- well, someone posted it on twitter and then it was all over TikTok and Instagram. People already found out who Yoongi is and the company is calling me nonstop.” Taehyung said.

Jungkook watched the words come out from Taehyung’s mouth but they were not making sense.  

It couldn’t be real.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook.” Taehyung apologized and looked at Yoongi who was sitting on the bed again. “I’m sorry, Yoongi.” 

Taehyung shouldn’t need to apologize. 

“It’s not your fault.” Jungkook rapidly said.

Jungkook’s blood was boiling, his heart racing, his mind overthinking. 

Yoongi, by his side, looked a bit terrified but he managed to hold back the emotions. Always try to be level-headed and analyze the situation to calm Jungkook down. 

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t know someone managed to get inside with a phone. We did our best to keep the electronics away.“ Jin started.

“Stop apologizing. This is not your fault either.” Jungkook said after a whole minute of silence. “These people, these journalists , they’re like vultures.”

“Can I watch it again?” Yoongi’s voice was small and Taehyung gave him the phone. Jimin rushed to him and sat by his other side.

He watched that video on a loop at least six times before locking the phone and staring at the guys in front of him. They were in silence, thinking. Jungkook was looking straight at him.

Yoongi had nothing to say, which was rare.

“I’m fucked.” Jungkook let out.

Yoongi didn’t know how to comfort Jungkook, he didn’t know what to do. He worked for the music industry but he never had to deal with these situations. He never had to deal with the scary part of the media. 

At the end of the day he was just Yoongi, not Agust D. He was Yoongi, the handyman of the neighborhood , Jin’s poor best friend. He could switch on and off when he was Agust D, when the industry cared about him… People didn’t know his face. 

But for Jungkook that was immensely different , the complete opposite. He was Jeon Jungkook all the time, there was no switching off. there was no escaping and trying to play anonymously, not when he was that famous. Not when every person in the country would like him to be theirs.

Yoongi felt how jarring that would be, he worried about Jungkook and how a job he loved that much could take away a lot from him.

“We should do something, right?” He asked and Jimin nodded, agreeing. 

“No.” Taehyung refuted. “Not yet.” 

And this time Seokjin agreed. 

It was clear how they were used to attention and how to divert it. Seokjin was not famous but coming from a wealthy family restricted him in a lot of areas; he also knew a lot about dealing with scandals.

Yoongi, of course, worried about himself and he was totally not ready to be all over the internet but his mind was not there. 

He was focused on Jungkook, who looked defeated and stressed. 

His easy smile and light features were no longer there. He was on edge.  

It’s been a rushed morning for them.

Jimin rushed outside and claimed Jungkook’s and Yoongi’s phones, giving them back as soon as he got inside that room again.

Jungkook’s phone had dozens of missed calls. Taehyung, the company, his father, his mother…

He took a deep breath.

Yoongi had a few calls only. Hoseok, Jimin, Namjoon and Seokjin… But lots of notifications.

A lot.

He gained almost 80k follower requests on Instagram and his family also texted him asking if it was him in the video. They knew about Jungkook , obviously, they dated for a long time. His mother texted him asking if they got back together. 

The world was upside down.

Jungkook was lost.

He didn’t have the time to think but he was scared and also worried about Yoongi and how he was taking the news.  

Jungkook was never in a scandal. Of course, the media tried to spread dating rumors about him, he was the biggest soloist in the country after all, but it was never true so it was easy to deal with it.

They should’ve been more careful. He’s been dealing with the press for years, he should’ve listened to his guts and held back the night before - but being with Yoongi blurred his sanity, his vision and his focus on the life he had. 

It was too easy to fall back in place, acting like he would do if he stayed in Busan, if he and Yoongi were still together, if he was still not famous. 

“We have to bring you back to mom’s house. There are tons of paparazzi there but you should go home.” Namjoon’s voice resonated and he nodded, taking a deep breath right after .  

“You can stay in our place, Yoongi-“ Jin started and Yoongi shook his head.

“No.” He said. 

“There are people who already found out where you live. They figured out your name and, well, Jungkook’s fans and the media know how to find stuff.”

“Why are you here?” Yoongi asked, his tone a bit more aggressive than he intended it to be. “You just got engaged! You were supposed to have brunch with the guests that were still here and leave for Jeju! You’re not supposed to be here at all. You have to enjoy-“ Yoongi was talking fast. He knew how the couple wanted a few days to themselves, how they wanted everything to be perfect and there they were, worrying about Yoongi again.

“Yoongi, I wouldn’t be able to rest well knowing that you and Jungkookie were in trouble. Namjoon and I have already rescheduled our little trip and the guests have already left.”

That was a punch. 

Yoongi never wanted his friends to stop their plans, their engagement plans, just because he decided to relive something with his ex-boyfriend.

He never wanted to disrupt Jungkook’s career; he never meant to make things hard for people around him.

Fuck.

Yoongi was good at being invisible, and always has.

“Or you can stay with me. Or Hoseok.” Jimin said; Taehyung’s face scrunched up at that, Jungkook noticed.

“You should come with me, Hyung. ” Jungkook suggested, at last, and Tae bit his lower lip. 

“If the paparazzi see it-“

“Fuck them. They and the world know we were together last night, it won’t be a surprise.” Jungkook said what he wanted to but he knew that it would have consequences. He knew the company he worked in and he knew how to read Taehyung’s expressions. “Come with me? We should talk after all.”

Yoongi stared at Jungkook for a second too long. “I don’t think I should? I want to be with you,” He confessed, maybe too loud, maybe too soon. Maybe answering the last question he made before their friends interrupted them. “but if I go there… Taehyung’s right, it’ll make it worse. Your image-“

“We’ll find a way. Don’t worry about me. I’m the one who’s worried about you!” 

“Jungkook, I'm nobody. All my work is under a pseudonym. This probably won’t affect it-”

“But it’ll affect your personal life, hyung. I can’t help but worry… I’m worried about myself too but it’s easier if I focus on one thing at a time.” He paused. “We should talk about what to do, come with me. Please.”

Everyone in the room knew already that they slept together. It was obvious at that point judging by Yoongi’s wet hair, yesterday's clothes, and Jungkook’s naked body wrapped only in a white towel - and also the fact that they were in one room with only one - really messy -  bed. 

But Yoongi didn’t want everyone to know about them like that. He was still processing what went on between them.

He totally didn’t plan to need to talk about what to do with the paparazzi. 

Jungkook expected the same. When they were showering, he thought about having lunch with Yoongi so they could talk and enjoy themselves at the same time . They anticipated the talk but they no longer were naive or young, they could deal with it and, this time, hopefully, they wouldn’t have a fight.

If any of their friends were judging them for falling back in bed with their ex, they were not showing at all and both of them were thankful for that.  

They didn’t regret the night they spent together but after how it ended a few years ago, they knew their friends wouldn’t really support it entirely. Maybe they’d be ecstatic about it if they could see a future for them. Not the case based on what they were talking about before this hurricane.

Especially because Jungkook was famous now and there was no way Yoongi could fit in his life again. 

Everyone knew that they were from different worlds.

Yoongi needed to go home, text back his family, and try to understand what was going on and hopefully people would not dig deep enough to find his work… He was sure that if people knew where to look they would find out that he was Agust D and he really didn’t want that.

Jungkook was staring at him, his eyes wide, clearly afraid of what was going on . He was biting his nails without realizing he was doing it and his naked torso shivered a bit, he probably was a bit cold. He got out of the shower and then they talked and now this… Yoongi grabbed Jungkook’s discarded shirt that was near him over the bed. “You’ll get a cold, put this on.” He said instead of saying what everyone was expecting. Jungkook thanked him and put on the shirt, his eyes searching for his underwear and pants on the floor.

“I need to put on some clothes.” He said and excused himself to put some clothes on and got inside the bathroom for it , leaving Yoongi with the others for a few minutes.  

The first two minutes were filled with silence and knowing looks and then: 

“You guys slept here?” Namjoon asked what was already obvious but made sure to get the answers everyone wanted. 

“Yes.”

“Together?”

Yoongi didn’t have to answer that, they knew it already…. But he nodded either way. They needed confirmation, there they had it. 

Namjoon nodded slightly and it was clear how he wasn’t that happy about knowing his brother's sex life with his best friend. Seokjin, on the other side, had a concerned look. It was more than just the worry of the tabloids and the media. He had something to say, Yoongi knew it. 

“You better know what you’re doing, hyung.” Jimin was the one to say it, a slightly dangerous tone in his voice. They were really good friends and got closer over the years but Jimin was still Jungkook’s best friend and everyone knew how Jimin protected, fiercely, who he loved.

Jin added. “Yeah, both of you.” 

Yoongi bit his lower lip; the last thing they needed was their friends trying to be overprotective.

Taehyung was too busy thinking about work to judge anything or anyone and he probably wouldn’t give him an earful since he barely knew Yoongi but his eyes wandered throughout everyone in the room - and Yoongi noticed that he avoided looking at Jimin when he did it. 

When Jungkook got back in the room, Yoongi sighed. 

“I’ll go with you.” He decided.

It was the logical thing to do; they needed to sort the problem out and maybe being in the same place would make them deal with it a bit faster.

— x —

Overwhelming.

It was hard to get inside the house because paparazzi cars were mainly blocking the street. Taehyung called the police and they knew it was just a few minutes until the road was clear but Jungkook wanted to get inside the house as soon as possible. 

The crowd was a problem even though it was not that big. 

“Are you ok?” Yoongi asked, only for Jungkook to hear. The car was big, it fit seven people so everyone was really close. 

Jungkook was, again, biting his nails and on the end of worried glances from Taehyung.

“I don’t like crowds and the street is packed.” Jungkook said, simply. Usually, he would not just tell that to anyone but everything was different with Yoongi. 

And he was not explaining himself so he was only letting him know.

“We can stay in the car until the security and the police clear the street-“ Yoongi suggested. 

“No. I want to go inside.” He assured and Yoongi nodded. The older one wanted to ask more , wanted to know why Jungkook was scared of crowds but he just decided to hold the younger’s hand. He’d ask later.

“I’m sorry, hyung. ” Jungkook whispered, intertwining their fingers. He didn’t want the hectic part of his life to disrupt the quiet life in Busan and, well, things were a mess.

A huge mess. 

He knew that fame and that much attention wasn’t for everyone. He got used to it but it was not pleasant.

Yoongi shook his head. “I should’ve known that hooking up with a celebrity would not be that easy .” He tried to lighten up the mood , tried to smile to disguise his own worries.

Jungkook tilted his head, not really keen on hearing that it was only a hook-up - but it was exactly that. Wasn’t it?

— x —

Taehyung was on the phone, speaking loud enough for everyone to know that he was arguing with someone. 

Yoongi and Jungkook were on the couch, and neither of them gathered the courage to really look at their phones again.

Seokjin brought tea for them and Namjoon was looking at his phone.  

Jimin was sitting on the other couch with Jungkook’s mother by his side.

“You guys need to eat something. ” Jin said. 

“I can’t eat anything right now, hyung, but thanks.” Yoongi said and Jungkook agreed, still pretty nervous. 

“Are you ok?” Mrs. Jeon asked and Jungkook, who was trying really hard to avoid his mother, felt his cheeks burning. He never wanted his mother to see that video and never wanted to be exposed like that. He was embarrassed. It was just a bad video of a kiss but he never wanted his mother to see him kissing someone that passionately. He also was totally not ready to come out to the public because he knew it could ruin his career and because the industry was shitty and hateful.

He also thought about his father seeing that video-

Jungkook had so much to say but he remained silent when Yoongi stood up and bowed. “I’m sorry.” He was apologizing to Jungkook’s mother. Jungkook widened his eyes.

“What? Why? You have nothing to apologize-“ Mrs. Jeon started and shook her hands trying to make Yoongi sit again.

“I do. I should’ve been more careful. I’m the older one, I should also be the responsible one . And I’m sorry about the video and about all the paparazzi. I’m really sorry.” 

“Yoongi, darling, you have nothing to apologize for.” She paused and gestured for him to sit once again. Her voice was soft and gentle. 

“I’m sorry too, mom. ” Jungkook said. “I’m sorry for- “

“Don’t finish that sentence. You didn’t embarrass me or our family. If the people around you in Seoul can’t deal with the fact that you, and your brother may I add, live your life loving whoever you want to, it's their problem. I’m always proud of you, Jungkookie. I’m sorry it happened like that, I’m sorry you didn’t get to choose how to come out publicly. I’m sorry your privacy was invaded like that.” 

Jungkook felt tears in his eyes. He was always the strong one around people but there, with his family and the ones he loved the most, he could easily cry and let himself be taken care of - at least for now, when he was still trying to figure out what to do. 

“Ok, I’m back. ” Taehyung announced, his fingers fidgeting around his phone; he was agitated. “The company is freaking out. That’s it. We, meaning the company and I, will find a way to make this go away but the video is out and there’s no denying it. It’s clearly you both in it and we can’t pretend it isn’t.” He paused. “Things are heated and social media is blowing up. I’d advise you to stay away from it for a while… There are supportive and nice comments about you but there are also the hating ones.” 

“Are my fans upset?” Jungkook’s voice quivered a bit. All the emotions getting to him at once. The fear of losing everything he worked hard for lacing his voice.

“Some of them, yes. Most of them are not, though. We are monitoring it.” Taehyung assured him. “You don’t have to worry about it. I mean it.” He said. It was hard for Jungkook to not worry about it. He endured all of the cons of fame because of his fans. “People are after information about Yoongi but they still don’t know that he is Agust D and, by now, I think they won’t find out at all.” He sighed. “The guy who leaked it was one of the guests. A journalist. He doesn’t write about celebrities; he writes about gardening tips but I guess he couldn’t help himself when he saw Jeon Jungkook kissing a man. He got a big scoop.”

“Give me his name later, we have a lot of friends but I didn’t think any of them would do something like this to my fiancé’s brother.” Jin said, in a stern voice. “And I don’t know if I’m friends with any journalist… I really can’t think of one-”

“It’s not important anymore, hyung. The video is out already.” Jungkook said and Taehyung tightened his lips, looking at Yoongi right after .  

He took his time to ask: “Can I believe the fact that you’re not involved in this?” Taehyung was sure that everyone in that room could patronize him for asking but it was his job and , not only that, it was a scandal with his best friend.

“What are you implying?” Yoongi was genuinely surprised by the accusation and, for the first time in a really long time, Jungkook saw him clearly and utterly annoyed. 

“I’m not implying anything. I’m asking. It’s my job. I’m sorry if it offends you but I need to work with the truth and running in circles is not my style. I need to know.” 

Jungkook bit his lower lip and he knew it was a harsh question and kind of an accusation but he understood where Taehyung was coming from. 

Jungkook’s trust was betrayed several times before. 

And it was indeed his job. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Of course, I have nothing to do with that video.” 

“Good.” And Taehyung got back to his phone, texting someone. “I trust you wouldn’t lie here in front of your friends.”

“He’s not being rude, it’s literally just his job. ” Jungkook told Yoongi who was visibly still offended and feeling wronged. 

“I know. He’s brutally honest and practical.” He looked back at Jungkook. “I’m getting used to that.”

“It comes with the job.” Jungkook shrugged. 

“You believe me , right? I really have nothing to do with it. I know you must be deceived a lot-“

“I believe you.” Jungkook said, simply. Calmly. “I actually didn’t even think about it. Taehyung doesn’t know you so , of course , he would be wary. We pushed our luck by kissing in front of the elevator, out in the open. Someone saw the opportunity and took it.”

“It’s your privacy, your life… It’s so wrong.“

“Well, people don’t seem to believe that idols need privacy.” 

“That’s bullshit.”

“It is.” 

“We have to talk to Yugyeom and JunHo.” Taehyung’s voice again. He looked at Jungkook. “I know they are your friends and all but we need to remind them to not talk about what happened between you guys in the past.” 

“ O-Kay. ” Jungkook answered loudly, interrupting Taehyung’s last words. He was not ashamed about his past encounters with his friends but he never told his mother about them and she already saw too much of his love life. He really didn’t want her to know more details.

“Yugyeomie? Did you date him?” His mother asked, a hint of betrayal in her voice for not knowing it before . She loved Yugyeom, he even met her once. 

Yoongi shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

“No. We just… Kissed a few times.” He tried to answer nonchalantly, but the situation was terrible. He didn’t want to talk about Yugyeom - in that context - with his mother nor in front of his ex-boyfriend, current hookup. “That’s not important. Tae, I’ll call them…. But I’m sure we have nothing to worry about. Yugyeomie is not out yet so he wouldn’t want this kind of attention and JunHo is loyal.” He paused. “I don’t even know if being my friend is a good thing right now, people will probably assume things…”

“No, don’t go there. ” Jin said.

Namjoon was standing there, clearly wanting to say something but he probably thought it was too soon to share any advice with Jungkook since they have barely talked in the last few years. 

Jungkook watched him, he wished he’d say something. Namjoon was always level-headed and stubborn. Jin and Namjoon were a really down-to-earth couple and a really determined one. 

Their relationship made sense to everyone who knew them enough, despite all their differences. 

“I’ll go to the kitchen, I still have some calls to make.”

“Tae, I’m so sorry.” Jungkook apologized. He could see how stressed his best friend was and he knew that he was softening the blow he was receiving on those calls. Taehyung protected him quite a lot and endured too much from his job. 

Jungkook was always thankful for that, but a scandal like that, well, Jungkook couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. 

Taehyung, on the other hand, was trying his best and he couldn’t lie, being useful was taking his head off things he want to forget so it was not all that bad for him to focus on something else.

“You know what? I should also call my family. They must be worried and they called me a few times before.”

“If you want to, you can use one of the guest rooms for some privacy. ” Namjoon suggested.

“Ok, I’ll be right back.” And just like that Yoongi rushed upstairs to one of the rooms. Jungkook followed him with his eyes until he was no longer in sight. 

“Are you going to talk to your father?” Jungkook’s mother asked and he snapped his head back to look at her. 

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“I- I’m not even thinking about him right now.” He said and shifted his gaze to Namjoon, who was staring.

“He must be pissed.” Namjoon snorted, unamused.

“I don’t care, hyung. ” Jungkook said. “I never cared about what he thinks-”

“I know what we talked and I know you barely talk to him but you , kind of , have a close relationship with him - compared to anyone in our family - . I know you say you don’t care and that you’re not worried… But I know it’s not that easy to erase his mean words. If he decides to treat you poorly, please, don’t overthink it. He’s hateful and despicable. We don’t need him to fuck with your mind as much as he did with mine. You already have too much on your plate.” Namjoon spat out the words he’d been holding for a while now. Jin held his hand, intertwining their fingers.

“He won’t. ” Jungkook assured. “I promise you, he won’t.”

But, honestly, he did not know how he would deal with it. 

He saw when his father treated Namjoon poorly and he promised himself he would never let his father or anyone make him feel bad for being in love with someone else.

But words held power and even though Jungkook would like to believe he was beyond that, he couldn’t say for sure.  

– x –

“You shouldn’t be so rough with Yoongi-hyung, you know?” Jimin’s voice resonated coming from the kitchen’s door. Taehyung looked up from his phone and saw his slim frame coming close, walking carefully. 

“Why? Because he’s Jungkook’s ex? Because he’s your friend?” Taehyung got back on texting. “People like to take advantage of famous people all the time and Jungkook was unfortunate enough to meet some shitty people so forgive me to care and not trust anyone that fast. It’s my job to doubt and don’t even get me started because I was about to ask if you or Namjoon would have anything to do with it too.”

Jimin rolled his eyes. “I know you’re worried and I know it’s also your job but this is overwhelming for Yoongi-hyung as well.”

“I know.” And it was true. Taehyung was well aware of how Yoongi might be terrified once he realized how much attention that video was getting. And he would try his best to make the right decisions for Jungkook’s sake - and also Yoongi’s . 

Jimin stared at the man in front of him who was trying really hard to ignore him. “Taehyung, can we talk?”

“I knew this was coming. ” Taehyung said, again looking up from his phone . This time, putting the device inside his pocket. “I have nothing to talk to you about, Jimin, I’m sorry. I’m busy and I think things are settled-”

“They’re not. I need to apologize to you.”

That visibly surprised Taehyung who widened his eyes and frowned right after . “You don’t need to apologize to me.”

“I do.” He paused, and bit his lower lip before saying. “I was the one who kissed Hoseok-”

“Jimin, stop. ” Taehyung said, his voice an octave lower. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I’m sorry if it hurt you-”

“Stop apologizing!” Taehyung exclaimed and tried to calm down for a second. Jimin kept looking at him, waiting for something. “If anything, I feel stupid because I should’ve seen the signs. It was all over your faces that you had feelings for each other.”

“Hoseok-hyung doesn’t like me that way.”

“He does. It’s clear that he does. And you know what? It’s ok. I’m not mad about it.”  Taehyung scratched his head lightly, a deep sigh. “Listen, I don’t want to talk about this. I have a lot of things to worry about now. You and Hoseok spent the night together, great for you-”

“We didn’t-” Jimin tried to talk, but Taehyung kept going.

“- But I really shouldn’t focus on it right now. I’m upset, yes. I thought something nice was blooming between him and me… And between us as well. You should’ve told me the truth, about how you felt about him on that first day, when I went on a date with him. Things would have unfolded differently and I wouldn’t feel this bad.”

“I barely knew you. I still don’t know you that well. How was I supposed to talk to you about my feelings?” 

Taehyung sighed. Jimin had a point. “And he should’ve told me as well, about what he feels for you. ” Taehyung added.

“He doesn’t like me that way, Taehyung. That’s what I’m trying to say. He went after you last night.” Taehyung didn’t want to talk about it. He saw Hoseok’s texts early in the morning; He looked at Jimin and said: “I really wanted to be your friend, Jimin. Jungkook always talks wonders about you and I really thought you were nice, gentle, pretty, caring… But I can’t deal with this. Not right now. You and Hoseok can talk it over between you guys and forget all about me. I don’t want to be in the middle of anything. Been there, done that and it never ended well for me.” He confessed. 

“What’s going on here?” Jungkook asked and both of them adjusted their postures, and shared a look before staring back at Jungkook.

“We’re just talking. ” Jimin answered.

“You were arguing. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Jungkook. ” Taehyung said and the younger one raised one of his eyebrows, surprised by his tone. “Sorry. I’m just tired.” 

Jimin looked at him. “Can we talk more later?”

“I don’t think we need to- “

“I want to.” Jimin insisted. “Please.” Taehyung nodded, hesitantly. 

When Jimin left the kitchen, Jungkook looked at Taehyung waiting for something , anything . “I have some calls to make.” The older one said instead.

Jungkook frowned and then went after Jimin - who went to the backyard of the house .

Taehyung didn’t ask him to stay there but he knew Jungkook would go after Jimin. He was never mad about not being the top priority but that morning, everything stung a bit more when it came to it.

“Taehyung?” Seokjin called him. “I think I have an idea.”

Work. Great. Tae should focus on that.

“Yeah, right. And the company called me, they also had an idea.”

— x —

“What was all of that about? And don’t tell me it’s nothing.” Jungkook asked.

“I confessed last night. I kissed Hobi-hyung, and he kissed me back. Taehyung saw it and he was Hoseok’s date for the night so, yeah, as Jin-hyung said it I have terrible timing.”  He just spit all the words, fast. The younger one was surprised about how easy it was to make him say what was going on.

“Oh, shit.” 

“And I know you have lots of things to worry about right now so don’t sweat it.”  Jimin was still talking fast, his hands going through his hair constantly. “I will talk to him later. And maybe with Hoseok, I don’t know…” 

“And what else? Did you and Hoseok go home together? Did you talk?” The younger one asked, curious and partly glad for finally taking his mind off of his own problems.

“He went after Taehyung.” Jimin smiled sadly. “And he texted me, wanting to talk, but yeah I woke up with you all over the news so I didn’t exactly have the time to talk to him. And the worst part is that I’m sad and feeling guilty and I really, really didn’t want to hurt Taehyung. You need to believe me. I was just following my heart!”  

“Jimin, I believe you.”

“I’m sorry. You must be freaking out with everything that’s happening and I’m here complaining over something that is not really important.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. You’re feeling sad and I’m here for you. I must admit, your timing was terrible. I’m proud of you for finally pouring your heart out but I can’t help but also be worried about Taehyung.”  

“I understand.” Jimin said. “I kind of am too. That’s why I wanted to talk to him but it’s hard. I’m not sure how to talk to him, since the beginning… It’s hard, he’s quite intimidating and he makes me nervous most of the time… And now I’m sure he hates me.”

Jungkook couldn’t relate to that feeling; he knew Taehyung had this aura and all, especially when he was working, but he knew he was kind-hearted and soft.

“Are you going to reply to Hobi's texts?”

“I don’t know. Right now I’m more worried about you and Yoongi, to be honest .” He bit his lower lip. “I have so much to ask you but the most important : are you ok ?”  

“Don’t think I didn’t see what you just did there, making this conversation about me when it was about you.” He warned, Jimin smiled weakly. Of course, Jungkook would notice. “And, well, not great actually.” 

“I know you’re talking about the craziness outside but I’m curious about your feelings. You spent the night with Yoongi.”

“I did.”

“He’s your ex!” He whisper-yelled.

“I know!” He whisper-yelled back. 

“Was it good?” Jimin asked and Jungkook blushed violently, not expecting that question. He wasn’t a prude by any means but remembering the prior night made him feel warm inside. 

“It was but then we woke up and, well, a lot happened. We were talking, a real talk… Probably we would end up arguing like last time… and then the world went down.” He paused. “I don’t really want to talk about this now. I need to talk to him first, I guess.” 

“That’s ok. We have urgent stuff to deal with. We need to think about how to soften the blow in your career… I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but I’m sure the media will not leave you alone.” 

When Jungkook got back inside, without Jimin, he rushed to the kitchen so he could talk to Taehyung this time but he stopped in his tracks when he saw his best friend talking to Seokjin, his phone in hand and an indignant look on the elder’s face. 

“I think you should stay out of this one. ” Namjoon suggested

“Why? What is going on?”

“Taehyung and your company had an idea. Jin is not that keen on it… He was thinking of something else.”

“I can see that. Why? What is it? Where’s Yoongi? Is he still talking to his family?” Jungkook asked, looking around and Namjoon nodded.

“Jungkook! Your friend is going insane, tell him this is a terrible idea!”

“What? What is the idea?”

“He wants you and Yoongi to tell everyone you’re really dating. He wants you to go online and tell everyone he’s been your boyfriend for years!” Those words took a while to sink in. 

“W-what? We’re not-”

“Jungkook, listen to me, please, I’ll explain the company’s idea.”