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Chapter Text

Steph slammed the door to Tim’s room open, out of breath as if she'd taken all the manor steps two at a time, but with a huge, evil grin on her face that immediately had Tim pushing his chair away from his desk and giving her his whole attention. Last time Steph looked like this, she’d invited Tim to join her on an extremely successful and wildly hilarious prank campaign on Dick. Whatever she was about to say, Tim was already halfway on board.

“Tim,” she gasped, brandishing her phone. “It’s fucking genius.”

Tim held up a hand and she tossed her phone to him before bending over herself to catch her breath. He caught the phone easily and flipped it so he could read the screen.

Steph had found a YouTube video about haunted mansions. And someone had commented on that YouTube video: 

Idk why but this makes me think about Wayne manor. I mean that place has to be haunted by Bruce Wayne’s parents… and just a few years ago there was that whole Jason Todd tragedy. Someone should do a seance or smth

“Oh Steph,” Tim breathed.

Her head popped up, eyes alight. “You see it, right? You see it?”

He saw it. He hated that he saw it, but he did. “Steph, B is going to kill us.”

She threw her head back and laughed. “Yeah, but it’ll be so, so fucking worth it.” 

Jason was in the second Steph said, “pretend to be dead,” and Dick jumped on at the words “prank the Internet.” Cass followed those two with a mischievous smile, and Damian trailed after the rest of them because he had “acquired a recent interest in the occult” and he “would be needed to ensure no one fumbled it.” Duke was on a mission but would be indoctrinated the second he got back.

Babs refused to be involved. Something about plausible deniability, as if such a thing existed in this family.

Out of everyone, Jason was the most enthusiastic. He threw himself into it with a fervor not even Tim anticipated. In hindsight, he probably should have known, since the entire concept sat right at the crossing of several of Jason’s deep loves: utilizing his excessive knowledge of theater, being the center of attention, and making people look like idiots.

But even Tim hadn’t anticipated Jason taking point on the operation.

“I wrote a script,” Jason said, passing out packets. Steph had this expression on her face like Christmas had come half a year early. When Jason’s back was turned, she caught Tim’s eye and mouthed, What the fuck?

He shook his head, amazed.

“It’s more of an outline than anything because I don’t trust you losers to memorize lines, but there are some key beats and everyone has particular character traits to emphasize. If we’re going to pull this off, we’re going to make it fucking tight. It will have plot. It will have flair. Timbit, I know you’re good with cameras. We’ll have to talk about angles. We will absolutely be doing multiple takes. I refuse to mess this shit up.”

Tim fought to keep a straight face. Across the room, Dick was hiding a laugh behind his hand. Cass wasn’t trying to hide hers, but her laugh was quiet, and also, it was Cass. She could get away with anything.

“Jayce,” Steph said, flipping through her packet. “This is the best thing I’ve ever read.”

Jason preened. “Thank you.”

Damian sniffed and put his copy of the script down. “Not bad, Todd. Although I do not understand why I must pretend to be a skeptic.”

“It’ll help sell it.”

“I’ll make a shot list tonight,” Tim volunteered. “We can video it next weekend. Duke will be here then too and he can mess with the lighting to make it super creepy.”

Silence fell. Everyone stared at Tim for so long he started to get uncomfortable with the attention. He shrank down in the armchair he was perched in.

“Tim. Timbelina,” Jason said. “Your mind is so big and so beautiful. How could I ever have tried to murder you? Where would we be now without you?”

A smile tugged at Tim's lips. “Together in hell, probably.”

“Hear hear,” Steph cheered. “Okay, I’m making a list of props we need according to the script. Does anyone know where to find an EMF meter? And we’ll need to rig it somehow. Damian—”

Damian nodded, resolute. “I will do the rigging. Perhaps I can convince Barbara to assist me, despite her request to remain uninvolved.”

“Cass,” Jason said, beckoning her over to him and Tim as Damian, Steph, and Dick dove into planning about the different props they’d need. Cass stepped over, light on her toes, and crouched down next to Tim’s armchair. Jason sat down crosslegged on the ground. “We’ll need your help with body language,” Jason explained. “The goal is to make it as believable as possible. Can you be our acting coach?”

She grinned and nodded. “I’ll watch practice. Give feedback.”

“Exactly.”

Cass patted Tim’s knee, widening her eyes at Jason. “Tim can do make up.”

That…wasn’t something Tim tried to advertise, but it was true. Jason shot him a curious glance and he explained, “I got some pretty bad bruises being Robin, and my parents…”

“Ah.” Jason nodded.

“Plus, you know.” Tim gestured at his face generally. “I don’t really sleep. Concealer does wonders at galas.”

Cass touched his knee again for attention and pointed at Jason. “Make him look creepy.”

A shit-eating grin spread over Jason’s face. “Fuck, you’re so right. Could you, Tim?”

Tim was already nodding. “Yeah. Steph should help, too, but I could do it, easy. We can raid B’s stash—he has some good stuff.”

Jason released an awestruck laugh. “God I love this family.” 

The week of prep was agony. Not because of the prep work itself—no, that was a joy. Tim, Jason, and Duke (who got dragged into the plot against his will) spent hours walking all over the manor debating which rooms would be best to shoot in. They mapped out a route from Jason’s old room to the library in the East Wing for the filming. Tim spent an entire night planning angles, sitting on the carpeted floor of the hallway with his camera and trying to figure out how to hold it just right to catch the corner.

He and Steph watched several YouTube videos on special effects make up, cackling to each other and scribbling down ideas. Damian rigged the EMF meter. Several times, the siblings concocted really terrible excuses for each other when Bruce gave them suspicious looks.

Every night they piled up in the library to plan and practice, Cass giving them critiques on how to stand and where to look. Alfred, who definitely knew what was going on (it was Alfred), brought them cookies. Damian rigged a spirit box. Duke convinced Barbara to watch the video when they were done, just to give it a set of fresh eyes.

So in many respects, the week was awesome.

But every day dragged on and on. Tim wanted it to be the weekend already. He couldn’t wait.

And then finally, Friday arrived.

Dick texted the second he got off work and everyone ran straight to Jason’s room to finish setting things up, already laughing and talking over each other. They had forty-five minutes until Dick arrived and they were going to use every last bit of it. Jason sat on the end of his bed and Tim and Steph attacked his face with make up, artfully applying just enough that he looked vaguely ghostly without completely washing him out. It had to look realistic, after all. They were trying to be convincing—it wasn’t any fun otherwise.

They also put temporary dye in his skunk stripe, despite his protests. It was too distinctly different from Jason-of-the-past.

“I brought a bloody shirt and hoodie,” Jason said, opening the duffel bag he’d shown up with, and Tim and Steph bent over each other laughing.

“Of course you did,” Steph cackled. “Of course.”

“Is that sanitary?” Damian asked, nose wrinkled up.

“Absolutely not,” Jason said, pulling his shirt off and replacing it with a white tee covered in convincing splotches of rust brown. When Damian’s face twisted in rare concern, Jason softened and explained more seriously, “It’s fake blood, buddy. I’m not risking getting sick over something as stupid as this.”

Damian’s eyes widened a fraction before he reset his expression and sniffed, turning his head. “I knew that.”

Jason smirked as he stuffed his arms into the zip-up hoodie, which he’d artfully ripped up in several places. “Uh huh.”

“I was merely trying to assure you that your ruse would be effective,” Damian insisted.

Biting back a smile, Tim pulled his camera out from the case.

“Do not break her,” he said to Steph, passing it off. “I will never forgive you.”

Steph saluted. “Aye aye.”

As the only member of the Wayne family present who was not actually a part of the Wayne family, Steph had been demoted to camera operator. They’d all decided this was a great way to increase the cryptid nature of the whole situation—random girl films the Waynes as they do a ghost hunt in their own mansion. Tim had drilled all the shots into her every day for the past week. She was ready.

Dick rushed into the room in a flurry of movement, shucking off his sweatshirt. “If I was on duty right now I’d have to give myself several tickets for the traffic violations I committed to get here,” he said, throwing the sweatshirt into the corner. “Are we ready?”

Everyone looked at each other.

In the far corner of the room, Duke raised his hand and said, “I think you’re all crazy.”

Jason said, “Let’s do this thing.” 

They ended up filming the video nine times before they managed to a) get through the whole thing without one of them breaking down laughing at any point and b) get Cass’s stamp of approval on everyone’s acting.

That ninth video, though. It was solid gold. As soon as they had the room to themselves, Cass watched it back over Steph’s shoulder with narrowed eyes. When the video was done she looked up at the library full of her tired, hopeful siblings. She beamed. “It’s good.”

The cheers could have woken the neighbors. And Bruce Wayne was rich. Those neighbors were over half a mile away.

Tim took his camera back and waited until the wee hours of the morning when both Bruce Wayne and Batman were fast asleep. Then he snuck down to the Batcave with it to edit the video on the big computers, where he could catch every detail.

Cass had been right. It was high art. It was possibly the greatest thing Tim had ever seen. His proudest accomplishment—and he’d done a lot to be proud of. This, though. This was really something.

Bruce was absolutely going to kill all of them the second he saw it, though. So the triumph would be short lived. Tim could already taste the lecture—and the PR disaster they were causing.

He threw himself into editing with gusto. There wasn’t much to do—the point of the video was to make it feel unplanned. Steph and Jason had practiced the timing to get it down to a science, making full use of the secret tunnels behind the walls. But Tim messed with the filters and the audio, trying not to snicker every time he got to the part where Damian was scanning a Jason-occupied hallway with a screaming EMF meter.

The Internet was going to freak out over this. Luckily, Jason had been planning his “rebirth” (his words, not Tim’s) for a few months now and promised they could make it official once the wake of chaos after the posting had died down a little. The ultimate Gotcha! moment.

At six in the morning, he was done. He sent the file off to Babs for a final check and grabbed his phone to text Steph.

Timberly
whose account are we posting this on

Queen Steph
IS IT DONE OMG OMG
See I would suggest my account but idk I worry people would start connecting dots

Tim blinked at the quick response, checking the time again. Steph was usually dead to the world at this time, along with everyone else in the family. The adrenaline of the filming session must have kept her up.

Timberly
true
on the other hand it would be really funny
and b can’t get you in trouble like he can the rest of us

Queen Steph
Don’t underestimate him lmao I already know we’re all going to be grounded
[Batman_Scolding_The_Second_Robin.gif]

Timberly
akalkfjaskfdj where did you find that 
send that to jason rn

Queen Steph
It was just in the gif library lol
I already hear B now 
“Until I know you can be responsible without the mask, I can’t know you’ll be responsible with it”

Timberly
that is probably word for word exactly what he’s going to say
so are we posting it on yours then

Queen Steph
It’s either mine or yours, friend
B likes you, I think youd escape with your life

Timberly
it can’t be me bc of wayne industries lol as much as i’d love to 
the board would not be impressed 

Queen Steph
Oh right
Damn if only Jason had an old youtube account we could resurrect

Timberly
steph
aklsjkdflfsd steph 
ilysm
he totally had one
let me dm babs rq

Queen Steph
Oh my god klfLKDSFLKJ the internet is going to think we’re all so insensitive 
Texting jason as we speak
lmao we’re all getting disowned

Jason, of course, was ecstatic about the idea of them posting it on his childhood YouTube account. He, Duke, and Tim spent a few hours agonizing over the caption, Cass providing feedback over their shoulders.

Babs sent the video back to Tim with a note: 

I edited the end a little to make the camera blur more. Otherwise it’s actually really good. If Bruce doesn’t kill you for it I hope he appreciates your vision.

That was a big if, but Tim hoped so, too. 

Finally, after another week of talking it over and checking the video and discussing social media fallout, the group determined the video was ready to post. They called everyone in again on Friday night to do it together, all of them huddled around Tim’s laptop in his room, where hopefully Bruce wouldn’t come looking for them.

“I think we need to do a countdown,” Dick said. “From three.”

“Do I post it on one or after one?” Tim asked, finger hovering over the button.

“On.” Cass leaned her head over the screen, her hair falling in Tim’s way. Tim nudged her back so he could see.

“I can’t breathe,” Steph said, grinning from ear to ear.

“Do you need to be resuscitated?” Damian asked. She socked him in the arm without changing her delighted expression. “Ow. Last time I offer to save your life, Brown.”

“Three,” Duke said.

“Two,” the whole room chorused. “One.”

Tim pressed the button to post. The screen loaded. And loaded. And loaded.

“That was anticlimactic,” Jason remarked.

YouTube continued to load.

“It’ll get there,” Tim said.

Duke leaned in to look. “It says it’s going to take twenty minutes.”

“Dear God,” Dick said.

“Is it actually going to take that long?” Tim asked, twisting to check Duke’s expression. “We can’t sit here staring at it for twenty minutes. That’s a huge waste of time.”

Duke frowned. “Nah, it’ll be done in half a minute.”

“Oh.” Tim settled back to wait. “That’s all right, then.”

They waited the thirty seconds. Sure enough, the video slid through, and there it sat in all its glory on Jason’s old YouTube page, innocuously entitled “Is Wayne Manor Haunted By Jason Todd???”

Tim snorted, slapping a hand over his mouth. He’d laughed so much about this over the past two weeks it was almost concerning. The snort was too much for the rest of the room, though—everyone broke into laughter at once. Except Damian, who looked around at them like they were all idiots. Which they were.

“This is the best day of my life,” Steph wheezed. “Please, for the love of God send me the link so I can post it everywhere. B might kill us but I am going to die so happy.”

Tim copied the link and pasted it into the group chat. A couple pings sounded throughout the room as it went through, and Steph made an inhuman noise of excitement, already tapping through her phone to post the link on her many social media accounts.

“So I think we need to place some bets,” Jason said, “on how long we have until B finds out. Ten dollars each.”

Dick shrugged. “I don’t know, sometime tomorrow morning.”

“Two hours,” Damian said, getting up to leave.

Tim shook his head. “Ten minutes. Tops.” Cass pointed at him in agreement, seconding it.

“I’m with Damian,” Steph said.

“Same,” Jason said. “Duke?”

Duke sighed and said, “I bet he already knows.” 

Chapter Text

Is Wayne Manor Haunted by Jason Todd???

Jason Todd Official Subscribe
759K subscribers

The video starts in a huge, dusty bedroom filled with the easily recognizable Wayne family. Dick Grayson is in the middle of the screen next to a pristinely made bed. Damian Wayne stands next to him with his arms crossed. Tim Drake and Duke Thomas are nearby peering at a few blocky black devices. Perched on the window sill, which looks out on the setting sun, is Cassandra Cain.

“So here we are in Jason’s room,” Dick says, gesturing, and Tim and Duke look up.

“Did you start filming?” Tim asks.

Duke shushes him.

Dick continues, “We’ve been hearing some weird noises in here over the past couple weeks.”

“You haven’t,” Damian says with a sneer. “You don’t live here.”

Dick shoots him a glare, then turns to the camera with a helpless smile. “I feel like we should start over.”

“No,” the person behind the camera, Stephanie Brown says, laughing. “No, keep going. This is great.”

“Damian doesn’t believe we’re being haunted,” Tim says to the camera. “Don’t mind him.”

Damian rolls his eyes.

“Anyway.” Dick gestures around the room. “This is Jason’s room, where everyone except me has been hearing weird noises. It looks pretty untouched.”

“Yeah.” Tim passes the devices off to Duke and looks around. “I don’t think anyone’s been in here since…” He trails off with an anxious glance at Dick.

“The accident,” Cass pipes up from the window.

An uncomfortable silence falls over the occupants of the room. Even Damian looks remorseful. Dick takes in a shaky breath. “Right. So we were thinking Jason’s ghost might be here, haunting us. We’re not really sure how to do this whole ghost hunting thing, but we got a few of the tools and thought we’d use them. What do we have?”

Duke holds the items up. “A spirit box and an EMF meter, which might be broken.”

“Tt.” Damian crosses his arms. “Wastes of resources.”

“We wanted a ouija board but it’s still in shipping and last night…” Duke hesitates, sharing a look with Tim. “Last night, Tim thought he heard a scream in here. So we wanted to investigate as soon as we could.”

“It was pretty late,” Tim admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “I could have imagined it.”

“Well, that’s what we’re here to find out,” Dick says cheerfully. He crosses to Duke at the foot of Jason’s bed. “What should we start with?”

Cass hops down from the window sill. “Spirit box,” she says.

Duke holds it out to Damian.

“Why do I have to do it?” Damian sniffs, but he takes it.

“You’re the youngest and therefore the least likely to get murdered by Jason’s ghost,” Duke says. “And you’re the only one who knows how to use it.”

“I’m the only one who read the instructions, you mean,” Damian grumbles, but he flips the box in his hands and turns it on.

The box crackles with static. Words flicker into the space as the box tries to channel whatever the ghost wants to say. Scattered noises fill the room. Everyone watches the box in Damian’s hands with sharp focus for a long minute.

“I don’t think it’s getting anything,” Dick says finally.

“I thought I heard the word ‘pancakes’ in there somewhere,” Duke says. “I don’t know what that means.”

“Alfred’s bad pancakes?” Cass guesses.

The family considers that, all furrowed brows and pursed lips. Their expressions all match—it’s clear they spend a lot of time together.

Dick breaks it first by shaking his head. “I don’t know why he’d bring that up to us right now. Only Bruce is crazy enough to actually eat those.” He sends the camera an anxious look. “Ah, sorry Alfred, if you’re watching this. Your cooking is really good. Super good.”

“Amazing,” Cass agrees, nodding many times.

Tim taps the top of the spirit box and Damian moves it away from him with a quiet, “Tt.” The tapping accomplishes nothing—the sounds coming out of it are still incoherent.

“Maybe he’s not in this room right now and we should move to the hall?” Tim says.

“Good idea,” Dick agrees, and they all start toward the door. The camera follows them to the open door of Jason’s room. In the shadows of the dark hall outside, a tall boy with black hair stands. His eyes glow toxic green. He’s wearing a ripped hoodie, hanging open over a bloodied white shirt.

No one seems to notice.

The spirit box crackles and spits. “Wait, wait!” Cass says, pointing at it. Everyone gathers around Damian again, eyes on the box. The camera person steps closer to keep them all in view, and in doing so inadvertently moves the view of the camera away from the open door. The person outside falls out of frame.

The spirit box makes a few more incoherent sounds. And then—

Get

out of

my

room

Everyone stares at the box.

It spits out a final:

you

jerks

And then it goes back to a mix of static and random noises and words. The Wayne family all share looks of deep horror and worry. “That seemed pretty clear…” Duke says weakly.

Tim says, “I’m thinking we should maybe get out of his room.”

Everyone books it. The doorway and the hallway beyond aren’t clear in the chaos as the entire family crushes out of the room, talking over each other and shoving one another out of the way, but the boy from before doesn’t seem to be there. By the time Steph and the camera get out, all traces of him are gone.

They reconvene a few steps down the richly furnished hallway. The walls are decorated with ornate framed artworks, and a deep-red carpet sprawls all the way down to the end of the hall. The crew stands in a loose circle, glancing back toward Jason’s door every so often.

“I’ve been sleeping next to that,” Dick gasps, pointing at the next door in the hallway, which must lead to his room.

“Only occasionally,” Damian reminds him. “Drake is the unlucky one, as he is a permanent resident on the other side.”

Tim says seriously, “It’s a good thing I don’t sleep.”

Cass nods several times in gratitude and pulls him into a hug which he takes without protest, still clearly in shock.

Duke wraps his arms around himself. “Was that actually…?”

“Jason?” Dick’s expression is grim. “It had to have been.”

“I don’t believe it,” Damian declares. “From what I have heard, Todd’s vocabulary of profane names for people is expansive. I don’t believe he would call anyone a jerk. [BLEEP] or [BLEEP] would be more appropriate.”

“Damian!” Dick sounded strangled. “How do you know those words?”

“They don’t say stuff like that on the radio,” Tim explains as Dick shakes Damian, demanding answers. “He was doing the best he could.”

“Do not let Alfred or Bruce hear you using those,” Dick says.

“Of course not.” Damian sourly extracts himself from Dick’s grasp. “I am not a complete fool.”

Behind the camera, Steph snorts. “I am videoing this. They’re definitely going to see it.”

Dick looks straight at the camera. “I will burn the evidence.”

“No, you won’t,” Tim says. “That’s my best camera. If you burn it, I will break into your house and systematically destroy everything you own so that it falls apart the second you touch it but not before. I will make your life a living nightmare. Do not touch my camera.”

“I suddenly feel more worried about my position as cameraman,” Steph says.

“Okay, but”—Duke’s eyes are wide—“are we completely ignoring what just happened? That was Jason Todd speaking to us from the beyond? Guys?”

Cass raises her hand. “Girl.”

“Y’all?”

“Right, okay.” Dick composes himself. “Where’s the spirit box?”

Everyone looks at Damian. Damian points back to where they came. As one, everyone’s heads and the camera turn to Jason’s door.

The boy is standing in the doorway, staring.

“Okay, yeah, well we’re not going back in there,” Dick says. “So forget the spirit box. We still have the EMF meter, right?”

The camera turns back to the family. Duke holds up the device. If anyone noticed the boy standing in the doorway, they don’t show it.

Damain grumbles when he’s handed the EMF meter but takes it anyway.

“Should we go down to the library?” Tim suggests. “That place has always seemed kind of creepy to me. It creaks.”

Several noises of assent sound and the group starts moving.

Well. The group except for Duke.

“What is wrong with you people?” he splutters. “We’ve clearly found the ghost! He told us to keep out of his business! Why would we keep doing this?”

They pause. Their expressions range from confused to impatient. Cass says, “Haven’t found Bruce’s parents.”

Dick tips his head to her in agreement. “Yeah, who knows how many more ghosts are here? Where there’s one, there’s probably more, right?”

Tim starts walking again.

“You’re all crazy,” Duke says. But he follows them down the hallway anyway, the camera a step behind.

The EMF meter buzzes as Damian turns it on. He keeps an eye on it as they walk, Dick and Cass signing to each other just ahead of him. Cass laughs silently and Dick jabs her lightly in the ribs as they pass an adjoining hallway.

The EMF meter screams.

Everyone freezes, turning back to Damian. Damian shifts the EMF meter around until it's at its highest pitch, pointed down the shadowed hallway Cass and Dick just passed.

“That means ghost, right?” Duke says. He doesn’t sound excited by the idea.

“It does,” Damian confirms. He sticks his arms out, pointing the EMF meter more insistently. It continues screeching.

Because of the angle of the camera, only part of the hallway is in view, the rest of it blocked by the corner. At the very edge of that corner, though, is what could be a sliver of a person. An ear. A shoulder. A foot.

Damian is pointing the EMF meter straight at the figure. His eyes are narrowed to see through the darkness. “I don’t see anything.”

“Why did we decide to do this in the dark?” Duke asks. There’s a thumping sound. “Ow, Cass!”

“Ghosts like the dark,” Cass says.

The camera swings to catch the rest of the family again, all of whom are peering toward Damian and the hallway ahead of him. They don’t seem to see anything unusual, from their puzzled faces.

“But there’s nothing there,” Damian says. “Is the sensor broken?”

Suddenly, the screeching cuts out. The EMF returns to a low, quiet buzz. The camera shifts to put Damian in the middle of the frame again. At the corner of the hallway, the maybe-figure has vanished.

“Holy [BLEEP],” Dick breathes. “We’re totally haunted.”

“Again,” Damian says, “who is this we?”

Tim leans forward to peer down the hallway. “Where do you think the ghost went?”

“No way to know,” Cass says.

“Library?” Dick suggests.

There doesn’t seem to be a better option. Sharing glances amongst themselves, the family continues on. The buzzing from the EMF meter fluctuates as they go but they don’t get anything as high pitched as before, and no one seems worried by the levels. Tim nudges open a door and everyone files into the room beyond it.

Rows and rows of books flank the walls, every surface covered in them. Two huge windows span the far walls, but the thick curtains are drawn shut. The only light comes from the hallway the family just departed, casting a long yellow rectangle onto the floor and the leather sofa in the middle of the room.

The Waynes spread out, walking around the room and peering into every dark corner. Damian follows the buzzing of the EMF around the library, and the camera follows Damian.

“It feels really creepy in here,” Duke says, and promptly gets shushed by most of his siblings.

Damian finishes his sweep of the room. “I don’t think there’s any ghost in here,” he says. “Not that—not that I believe in ghosts.” Even in the darkness of the room, the camera picks up a flush on his cheeks.

“Of course not, bud,” Dick says. “No one would accuse you of such a thing.”

Damian glares at him.

“Okay, so the library’s a bust,” Tim says. “Where else do we check?”

The room falls quiet as everyone considers it. A loud creak interrupts the silence and everyone stiffens, looking around.

“Did you hear that?” Dick whispers.

Damian takes a step closer to him, eyes wide.

“Oh my god,” Steph breathes. “Are we about to die?”

“Shut up, Steph,” Duke snaps. “Not a good time to mention death.”

The EMF meter suddenly snaps to a high pitch again. All eyes and the camera immediately turn to Damian, who’s staring at the device with a horrified expression. It’s pointed toward the corner of the room, where the same shadowed figure from before lurks. His arms hang loosely by his side. He stands unmoving, unblinking.

The family looks blankly to the corner.

“I don’t know why we thought we’d be able to actually see the ghost,” Tim says finally. “Like there might be a ghost in here, but other than that EMF thing, which honestly might be broken, there’s no way to know for sure.”

Dick sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “So the manor probably is haunted, but we can’t see the ghosts?”

In the corner, the figure of a boy still hasn’t moved. It could be a statue.

“So this was all pointless,” Duke says flatly.

“Well, at least we know we’re haunted now,” Tim says.

“Do we?” Damian asks.

Something creaks. A long, tall shadow appears in the yellow rectangle on the floor. The camera whips around to catch the doorway.

There stands Bruce Wayne, dressed in all black, frowning at the room and its occupants.

“Oh shoot,” Steph murmurs.

“What are you all…” His eyes flick to the corner and his mouth drops open. In a horrified voice, almost like he’s seen a ghost, he says, “Jason?”

The camera whips around again to catch the boy in the corner. Someone, possibly Duke, screams. The camera tumbles to the ground.

By the time the camera focuses again, sideways on the carpet, the boy has disappeared.

An advertisement for life insurance starts playing. The video has ended.

671 Comments

@WayneFanNo1 2 weeks ago
Holy crap I think that’s actually Jason Todd

@user13990 2 weeks ago
IS THIS FOR REAL
I keep thinking no they have to have faked it but??? THIS LOOKS REAL?? THAT’S JASON TODD? HELP
#HelpTheWaynes bc their house is HAUNTED by the GHOST of Bruce Wayne’s DEAD SON????? Everyone needs to see this I’m freaking out

@crimealleycat 2 weeks ago
Who let them post this lmao

See more comments...

Chapter Text

We Owe the Internet an Apology | Meet Jason Todd

The Wayne Family Subscribe
1.2M subscribers

All the Wayne kids and a blond-haired girl are arranged in a familiar-looking library. On the leather sofa sit Duke Thomas, Damian Wayne, and the blond-haired girl. Perched on the back of the sofa between Damian and the stranger is Cassandra Cain. Richard Grayson and Timothy Drake are both sitting crosslegged on the floor in front of them.

Behind the sofa are two huge windows with red curtains stopping the light from coming in. Still, the room is well lit, making everyone’s sheepish expressions all the more clear.

“So, we messed up,” Tim says. “According to Bruce, the video we posted a few weeks ago on Jason’s YouTube account was insensitive and disgraceful. We’re here to issue a formal apology.”

“See, Bruce says these things,” Dick says, eyes wide with sincerity, “but I know he laughed when he watched it for the first time, even if he’s pretending he hated it. He’s got his whole dad schtick going right now but he could not possibly have watched that video and not loved it.”

“He did the disappointed voice,” says a stricken-looking Duke. “It was terrifying.”

The blonde-haired girl snickers and reaches across Damian to jab Duke lightly in the shoulder. “Welcome to the family.”

“Thank you?”

“You’re not even in the family, Brown,” Damian grumbles from behind her arm.

Tim’s head pops up. “Right, introductions. I’m Tim. He introduces all the familiar faces and then points up behind him at the stranger. “This is Stephanie Brown, our close family friend and amazing videographer.”

Steph does a little pose for the camera, smiling sweetly. “For the record I didn’t actually drop the camera at any point,” she says. “I’ve seen some very concerned comments about my wellbeing after Tim threatened the life and health of anyone who damaged his camera, but fear not.”

Dick grins. “Yeah, Steph took a huge dive to make it look like the camera was falling without actually dropping it.”

“I thought she’d passed out,” Duke says.

“Nope,” Steph says. “I was just doing my job, protecting Tim’s most prized possession. And speaking of concerned comments…” She holds a hand up to Cass, who passes her a stack of index cards. “I’ve compiled a list of frequently asked questions, which I thought we could use this as an opportunity to answer.”

She starts passing them out.

“Aren’t we supposed to be apologizing?” Duke asks, frowning as he takes a card from Steph.

“We’ll get there,” Dick says.

“Tim, you go first,” Steph says.

Tim reads his card to himself, eyebrows furrowed, and then grins, looking back up at the camera. “Okay so a lot of people have been asking if Bruce knew what we were doing. And the answer to that is no, he definitely did not.”

Dick runs a hand through his hair. “We’d done probably about eight takes of the video and were almost done with the one we posted when he showed up. We sort of just ran with it.”

“Made it better,” Cass says.

“It was really funny,” Steph agrees. “He looked so confused. Mostly because Jason’s a theater kid and went crazy trying to make himself look like a ghost, and Bruce is super protective of Jason for reasons entirely unknown.”

Off screen, a deep, rough voice says, “You and Tim did most of that.”

Everyone gives the person off screen flat looks. Damian says, “You bloodied and destroyed an unused shirt and hooded sweatshirt for the purpose of the video.”

The person off camera splutters but doesn’t seem to have any concrete counterarguments. Damian sneers and turns away.

“He asked what we were doing,” Tim explains, pulling them back on topic, “but we told him we were trying to film a horror movie, and he left pretty soon after that.”

Duke shakes his head. “I still can’t believe he bought it.”

“Bruce is gullible,” Cass says.

Steph laughs. ”He should have known something was up. We love causing him PR disasters.” She gestures at the group present. “As evidenced by the contents of this apology video.”

“Actually,” Dick says, beaming, “it took Bruce a whole day to find out we posted the video. And that brings me to the next item on the agenda. I believe I’m owed some cash.”

Everyone present groans and starts fishing through their pockets. Money is passed forward to Dick, who gathers it up with a smug smile. When he’s finally gotten it all (after fighting Damian for his portion), he turns to someone off camera, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Jaybird,” he says. “You too.”

“[BLEEP] you.”

“Come on, Jay.” Dick holds out a hand palm up and bends his fingers twice in a gimme gesture. “Pay up.”

A tall, broad shouldered man walks into frame. He’s wearing a leather jacket and has a shock of white at the front of his black hair. Viewers will recognize Jason Todd, although he’s certainly not fifteen anymore.

He passes Dick a bill and then steps between him and Tim, scoops Damian up, and steals Damian’s spot on the couch. Damian punches him in the shoulder, spitting and hissing like a cat, but Jason doesn’t even flinch. He puts the unhappy Damian down again between him and Duke. To the camera, he says, “Hey [BLEEP]. I’m back.” 

Dick says, “PR disaster in the flesh.”

“The most commonly asked question,” Steph says, holding up an index card, “is whether or not that’s actually Jason. And we are pleased to announce that it is! He’s mostly not dead!”

“Mostly,” Jason agrees.

Dick reaches back and pats him on the knee, which he tolerates with a frown. “Jay’s been through some pretty traumatic things between dying and then coming back to life, so we’re not going to talk about what happened. The important thing is that he’s back now, and he’s the mastermind behind the content of the video from a few weeks ago.”

Jason grins at the camera. “I wrote the script. But I can’t take all the credit—without Steph here we wouldn’t have had the idea at all.”

Steph does a little bow from her seat on the couch, flailing her arms dramatically. “Thank you, thank you.”

“And without Timmers we wouldn’t have been able to get away with half the camera magic we did.”

Tim flushes. “Everyone helped out in their own way.”

Jason grabs the top of his head and tousles up his hair. “Take the compliment, Timbo. I don’t usually hand those out for free, you know. ‘Specially not to you.”

In a motion not unlike someone trying to get rid of a particularly irritating fly, Tim waves his arms to free himself from Jason. “Well aware, thanks.”

“We’ve had some questions about said camera magic,” Duke pipes up, holding up his index card. “Like how Jason kept getting behind the camera without being seen.”

The family all share looks and then turn back to the camera with matching evil grins. “Some things are better left a secret,” Dick says. “But what we can say is that Damian did a lot of work rigging the spirit box and the EMF meter. Everyone say, ‘Thank you Damian.’”

The group groans but they all manage to mutter out a thank you. Damian gives them a smug smile and says, “You are all in my debt.”

“No, we’re not,” Tim says, scowling. “We all played a role here. Everyone’s even.”

Damian reaches his foot past Jason’s knees and kicks Tim in the shoulder. Tim twists around, expression furious, and Dick grabs him by the arm, holding him in place and smiling at the camera. “Everyone loves each other in this family. We all get along super well.”

“Demon spawn,” Tim spits at Damian.

“Imposter,” Damian snaps back.

Steph dives over Jason to pluck the index card from Damian’s hands. Still half-draped over Jason, who looks like he’s not sure what to do with her, she reads, “What swear words did Damian say in the video?”

A great stillness falls over the family.

“Damian,” Dick says, voice lilting up in a warning. “Don’t…”

“[BLEEP] and [BLEEP],” Damian says calmly.

“Damian!” a shocked female voice says from off screen.

At her disapproval, Damian shifts guiltily. “I was making an important point at the time.”

“It was my proudest moment,” Jason says, “hearing you say those. Completely ad libbed, too, before people on the Internet get on me for making him do it. I didn’t. I have no idea where he learned those words.”

“I wonder,” Tim says drily.

He gets kicked again for his trouble and a new scuffle begins.

Over the squabbling of his siblings, Duke says, “I don’t know why, but I thought we’d be actually apologizing at some point in this video? No?”

“Oh, Bruce will actually kill us if we don’t,” Dick says cheerfully. “So, everybody?”

At once, the room goes still. The Wayne kids (and Steph) all turn to face the camera, plastering bright, guilty smiles on their faces. In unison, they say, “We are very sorry.” They hold the position for a few seconds, and then Cass jumps off the back of the couch.

“All done,” she says, heading off screen.

“Great,” Jason gets up, dragging a protesting Damian with him. “Good job, team.”

Duke looks around, bewildered. “Guys, that can’t be it.”

“Sure it can,” Steph says easily. “We apologized, we introduced Jason, we answered some important questions. What else is there?”

Dick reaches back to give Steph a high five. She leaps off the couch and leaves. With a pat on Tim’s shoulder, Dick goes out of frame. Tim, already buried in his phone, trails after Steph. That leaves Duke alone on the couch, looking very confused.

“Duke!” someone off screen yells. “Come on!”

Duke gives the camera a helpless look. He gets up from the couch, checks the area around himself, lost, and leaves the frame.

802 Comments

@WayneFanNo1 3 days ago
JASON TODD’S ALIVE????? HELLO?????????????? HOW CAN THEY BE SO CALM ABOUT THIS

@JessParker 3 days ago
I’d almost say ukulele video but who am I kidding this is the best thing I’ve ever seen

@invisibat 3 days ago
Bruce Wayne: apologize to the internet
His kids: [make a video explaining how they pulled off pranking the internet]
Bruce Wayne: no you have to actually apologize
His kids: [reveal that jason todd’s alive]
Bruce Wayne: [disappointed dad face]
His kids: Oh and we’re soo sorry so so sorry deeply sorry

@sandra.simpson 3 days ago
So glad to see Jason Todd alive and well! His death was such a tragedy. Happy that he’s with his family again!

@superman_stan 3 days ago
pretty sure duke thomas is the only sane one in that entire family lmao poor kid looks so confused at all times

@cheese56 3 days ago
AKLJDFLKLSKD I NEED THE BLOOPERS RN

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