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Part 30 of UU Oneshots
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Published:
2025-11-22
Completed:
2025-11-28
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2/2
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God’s Blessing (Or Maybe Not…)

Summary:

This was, without a doubt, the worst day of his entire existence.

Wemmbu had experienced a lot of terrible things in his time on this server. He'd been hunted, betrayed, blown up more times than he could count. He’d helped to defeat the Mafia. He destroyed PrinceZam Empire.

But this? This took the cake.

Because he was a cat.

A gods-damned, four-legged, fuzzy little cat.

Wemmbu shook himself violently, water flying from his curled ears—and yeah, those were new and weird and he hated them—and tried to piece together what the hell had happened.

Notes:

AUTHOR’S NOTE

everyone calling wemmbu soggy wet cat so hi im here with the wemmbu cat fic. lmk if you want a dog flamefrags version 😋

im back from my break! watched the newest flame and wemmbu videos and WOW… spoke was not expected there. my theory is flame is prolly going to farlands to get stronger and find mane. parrot was at the speech and maybe might save wemmbu. wemmbu will go to the farlands to get more OSC and meet flame. they team up along with parrot, who run into spoke, and together they get rid of the law, ending season 2. lmk what you think 😋

flame loves dogs but forced to take care of a cat and wemmbu loves cats but forced to take care of a dog trope

guys we love kitties

WEMMBU IS NOT A PURPLE CAT I REPEAT HE IS NOT A PURPLE CAT OKAY🫩✌️

Hes an american curl :3 But the species can be changed to your preference if wanted! Pelt/Coat colour is up to interpretation!

I am a heavy warrior cats fan and i fear i may have gone too much with the cat descriptions he does not have his horns or tail here but his cat tail is twisted and spiked at the end to look like a demon curled tail

before invis wemmbu arc

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───────────

HEADCANONS

-Wemmy is a demon hybrid human born from the energy of chaos itself and chose to be a humanoid creature on the server and has retractable demon claws.

-Flame is a blaze hybrid human that has mild fire powers (not blaze-level fire nor weak fire, just normal fire levels) (Nether born)

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───────────

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Cat’s Coat

Chapter Text

This was, without a doubt, the worst day of his entire existence.

Wemmbu had experienced a lot of terrible things in his time on this server. He'd been hunted, betrayed, blown up more times than he could count. He’d helped to defeat the Mafia. He destroyed PrinceZam Empire.

But this? This took the cake.

Because he was a cat.

A gods-damned, four-legged, fuzzy little cat.

Wemmbu shook himself violently, water flying from his curled ears—and yeah, those were new and weird and he hated them—and tried to piece together what the hell had happened. He'd woken up that morning feeling worse than usual in his makeshift bed. 

His perspective shifted down, way down. He'd looked at his hands—paws—and nearly had a heart attack.

No horns. No demon tail. Well, he had a tail, but it was a cat tail. Granted, it was twisted and spiked at the end like his usual demon tail, which was something, but still. Cat tail. Attached to a cat body.

He'd panicked. He'd run outside, maybe thinking the fresh air would help, maybe just fleeing on instinct. And then the sky had opened up and decided to dump rain on him like the universe had a personal vendetta.

Now here he was, trudging through mud that came up to his—ugh—paws, getting more drenched by the second, and the only shelter nearby was—

Flame's base.

Of course. Of course it was Flame's base.

Wemmbu stopped in the rain, his tail lashing behind him, and seriously considered just finding a tree to hide under. Flame was his rival. His enemy. The guy who'd probably laugh himself sick if he knew Wemmbu had managed to poison himself into becoming a cat. Showing up at his door as a pathetic wet cat was possibly the most humiliating thing Wemmbu could imagine.

Thunder cracked overhead, loud enough to make Wemmbu's new ears flatten against his skull, and he flinched so hard he nearly fell over.

Okay. Fine. Fine. Pride wasn't worth getting struck by lightning or drowning in a puddle because he was too small to climb out.

Just for tonight. He'd figure this out tomorrow. He'd stay hidden, Flame wouldn't recognize him—how could he?—and in the morning he'd leave and never speak of this again. Easy. Simple.

Wemmbu forced himself forward, each step squelching in the mud. His fur was plastered to his body, making him look even smaller and more pathetic than he already felt. By the time he reached Flame's door, he was shivering so hard his teeth were chattering.

He sat down, curled his stupid twisted tail around his paws, and did something that made his soul shrivel up and die.

He meowed.

Soft. Pitiful. The kind of sound that made humans go all soft and stupid.

He wanted to claw his own ears off. If he had his normal body, his retractable demon claws, he'd be using them to dig a hole and bury himself alive right now.

The door opened.

Wemmbu looked up, rain dripping from his whiskers, and met Flame's eyes.

"Oh bro, no way," Flame said, and his expression went all soft and concerned in a way that made Wemmbu want to bite him. "Dude, you're soaked!"

Flame crouched down, and Wemmbu tensed. This was it. The moment of truth. Would Flame recognize him? Would his purple eyes give him away?

But Flame just reached out slowly, carefully, like Wemmbu was some fragile thing that might bolt. "It's okay, little guy. You're safe."

Little guy.

Wemmbu was going to kill him. When he got his body back, when he had his horns and his tail and his claws again, he was going to hunt Flame down and make him regret every single word.

But right now, he was cold and wet and miserable, so when Flame scooped him up, Wemmbu went rigid but didn't fight it. Flame's hands were warm—stupid blaze hybrid and his stupid fire powers—and despite everything, it felt good against Wemmbu's soaked fur.

He hated this. He hated everything about this.

The door shut behind them, and immediately Wemmbu heard it.

Barking.

Loud, excited barking that was getting closer by the second.

Oh no.

A large dog—some kind of husky mix with bright, intelligent eyes—came bounding around the corner, tail wagging. The moment it spotted Wemmbu in Flame's arms, it skidded to a halt and the wagging stopped. The dog's ears went up, alert, and it started barking. Aggressive, warning barks.

Wemmbu's fur puffed up instantly, making him look twice his size. His ears flattened against his skull and a hiss tore from his throat before he could stop it. Every instinct in his body was screaming.

"Whoa, whoa, hey!" Flame quickly adjusted his grip on Wemmbu, holding him higher and away from the dog. "Ashen, no! It's okay, boy. Easy."

The dog—Ashen—kept barking, bouncing on his front paws, clearly very concerned about this strange cat his human had brought home. Wemmbu hissed again, louder this time, his twisted tail puffed up to twice its normal size. He could feel his claws extending, ready to shred if that dog got any closer.

This was Flame's dog. The same dog Wemmbu had seen during one of their fights. And now Wemmbu was small and helpless and the dog probably wanted to eat him.

"Ashen, sit!" Flame commanded, and to Wemmbu's surprise, the dog actually obeyed, dropping onto his haunches. Still tense, still watching Wemmbu with those bright eyes, but sitting. "Good boy. It's okay, bro. This is... uh, this is a guest. A guest cat. We're being nice."

Ashen whined, clearly not convinced this was a good idea.

Wemmbu was still hissing, pressed as far back into Flame's chest as he could get. He hated this. He hated being scared of a dog. He usually liked dogs! But right now, with his cat body screaming that this was a threat, he couldn't help it.

"Easy, little dude," Flame murmured, and one of his hands started stroking Wemmbu's back, trying to calm him down. "Ashen's not gonna hurt you. He's a good boy. Just protective. Right, Ashen?"

The dog's tail gave a small, uncertain wag.

Flame slowly crouched down, still holding Wemmbu securely. "Look, see? He's friendly." He looked at his dog seriously. "Ashen, we're gonna be nice to the cat. He's had a rough night. Got caught in the rain. So no barking, no chasing. Understand?"

Ashen tilted his head, then gave a small "woof" that sounded almost apologetic.

Wemmbu's hissing died down to a low growl, but his fur was still puffed up. He watched the dog warily. Ashen watched him back.

"There we go," Flame said, standing back up. "See? Everyone's calm now. Ashen, go lay down."

The dog hesitated for a moment, gave Wemmbu one last suspicious look, then trotted off to a corner of the base where there was a dog bed. He circled it a few times before flopping down, but his eyes never left Wemmbu.

Wemmbu's heart was still racing. That had been... not great. He forced his fur to lie flat again, tried to look less terrified. He had some dignity to maintain, even if he'd just hissed like a scared kitten at a dog.

Flame carried him over to the furnace, pointedly away from where Ashen was lying. "Sorry about that, bro. Should've warned you I had a dog. You two just gotta get used to each other."

Get used to each other. Like Wemmbu was staying long-term. Like this was going to be a regular thing.

Wemmbu let out a low growl that was somewhat similar to his growling in his human body. 

"Hey, I'm helping you, dude," Flame protested, but he was grinning. Like this was funny. "Man, you're a grumpy little thing, huh? You remind me of someone.” 

Grumpy. Little. Thing.

Wemmbu's mental list of ways to murder Flame was growing by the second. Stabbing him. Orbital Strike Cannon. Pushing his dead body off a cliff. Maybe all three in succession.

"Where'd you even come from?" Flame continued, working the towel over Wemmbu's back. The touch was gentle, methodical, and Wemmbu's fur was starting to fluff up as it dried. "Don't think I've seen you around before. Those eyes are wild, bro."

Wemmbu just glared at him. If looks could kill, Flame would be a pile of ash right now.

Flame laughed. Actually laughed. "Not much of a talker, huh? That's cool. I'm more of a dog person anyway, but I'm not gonna leave you out in the rain."

Dog person. Of course Flame was a dog person. The irony was not lost on him, and it made him want to scream.

Flame's hand reached up to scratch behind one of Wemmbu's curled ears, and—

Oh no.

Oh no.

It felt good. Really good. The kind of good that made Wemmbu's eyes start to close and a rumble build in his chest before he even realized what was happening.

He was purring.

Wemmbu caught himself immediately, cutting off the sound, but the damage was done. Flame's grin had gotten even wider.

"Aw, you do like it," Flame teased. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

That was it. Wemmbu was going to bite him.

He lunged forward and sank his teeth into Flame's hand. 

"Ow! Okay, okay, no more ear scratches. Got it." Flame pulled his hand back, but he didn't even look mad. Just amused.

Wemmbu wanted to bite him again.

"You hungry?" Flame asked, standing up and moving over to his chests. "I don't really have cat food, bro, but I've got some fish somewhere…"

Food. Okay. Wemmbu could admit he was hungry. He'd burned through a lot of energy panicking about being a cat, and he hadn't eaten since yesterday.

Flame pulled out some cooked salmon and broke off a piece, offering it to Wemmbu. Those weird purple irises studied Flame for a long moment. Was this a trick? Was Flame going to pull it away at the last second? Make fun of him?

But Flame just held the fish out patiently, waiting.

Fine. Wemmbu leaned forward and delicately took the fish from Flame's hand. It was actually pretty good. He hadn't realized how much better his sense of smell was as a cat, and the salmon tasted amazing.

He still wanted to murder Flame, though. That hadn't changed.

"There we go," Flame said, sounding satisfied. He sat down on the floor next to Wemmbu, watching him eat. "You can stay the night. Storm should pass by morning. Then we'll figure out where you belong, yeah?"

Wemmbu paused mid-bite to give Flame his flattest, most unimpressed stare. Where he belonged? He belonged somewhere in his actual body, not being a cat.

"Mysterious and grumpy," Flame noted, propping his chin on his hand. "You're making this interesting, little dude."

Little dude.

The murder list was getting very, very long.

Wemmbu finished his fish and sat there, trying to figure out his next move. He needed to stay here tonight—that much was non-negotiable. But he also needed to maintain some dignity. He couldn't let Flame keep petting him and talking to him like he was some cute stray.

Flame reached out again, and Wemmbu tensed, ready to bite. But Flame just ran his hand down Wemmbu's back in one long, slow stroke.

And it felt… nice.

No. Nope. Absolutely not.

But Flame did it again, and Wemmbu's traitorous body started to relax despite his brain screaming at him to stop. The warmth from Flame's hand seeped into his fur, chasing away the last of the cold from the rain. Another stroke. Another.

Wemmbu's eyes were starting to close. This was terrible. This was a nightmare. He was going to kill Flame so hard when he got his body back that there wouldn't even be ash left.

But right now… right now he was warm and dry and fed, and Flame's hand kept moving in those slow, steady strokes, and the purr was building in his chest again and he was too tired to stop it this time.

 

Wemmbu woke up to warmth.

Not the warmth of the furnace—something different. Softer. Moving slightly with steady breaths.

His eyes cracked open, still bleary with sleep, and he realized with slowly dawning horror that he was curled up on Flame's chest.

On. Flame's. Chest.

On his enemy's chest. The same chest he'd tried to stab with a sword multiple times.

Flame was asleep, lying on his back on the floor—must have fallen asleep watching over him, the idiot—and Wemmbu had apparently decided at some point during the night that Flame made an acceptable bed. His twisted tail was curled around his body. His head was tucked against Flame's collarbone. He could hear Flame's heartbeat, steady and strong.

Wemmbu needed to move. He needed to get off of Flame before the guy woke up and made this even more humiliating.

But Flame was warm. That stupid blaze hybrid body heat was like a magnet, and Wemmbu's cat instincts were telling him that this was the perfect sleeping spot and he should stay right here forever.

No. Absolutely not. He had some dignity left.

Wemmbu tried to shift, but the movement must have registered because Flame's hand came up—still mostly asleep—and started scratching the top of Wemmbu's head.

And Wemmbu… Wemmbu leaned into it.

He hated himself. He hated his cat body. He hated that it felt good and his eyes were closing again and the purr was starting up before he could stop it.

Flame made a sleepy humming noise, his fingers moving behind Wemmbu's curled ears, and Wemmbu was doomed. Absolutely doomed.

When he got his body back, he was going to kill Flame. Slowly. Painfully. He'd already planned it out—lava pit seemed like poetic justice for a blaze hybrid. Maybe he'd dangle Flame over it first. Make him beg for mercy.

But right now, traitorous cat body and all, he just… stayed there. Warm and comfortable and purring, because apparently he had no self-control whatsoever when it came to warm things and head scratches.

"Bro, you're kind of heavy for a cat," Flame mumbled, voice rough with sleep.

Heavy. Heavy. Wemmbu was going to push him into that lava pit twice.

But Flame didn't push him off. Just kept scratching his head, gentle and careful, and Wemmbu couldn't bring himself to move.

Just a little longer. Just until Flame properly woke up. Then he'd jump off and pretend this never happened.

The minutes ticked by. The sun was starting to filter through the windows, casting warm light across the floor. Birds were chirping outside. The storm had passed.

Wemmbu should move. He really, really should move.

He didn't move.

Flame's breathing changed, becoming less deep, more aware. His hand stilled on Wemmbu's head.

"Okay, little dude, time to get up," Flame said, and Wemmbu felt himself being carefully shifted off Flame's chest.

He made a noise of protest—an actual cat noise, not words—and immediately wanted to die. But he rolled over onto the floor, curling into a ball, stubbornly keeping his eyes closed. Maybe if he pretended to sleep, Flame would just leave him alone.

He heard Flame moving around, getting dressed, splashing water on his face. Preparing to leave.

To get cat food.

For him.

Wemmbu was going to commit arson. Specifically targeted at this base. Maybe while Flame was sleeping.

"Lazy," Flame said, but there was amusement in his voice.

Wemmbu's tail flicked in irritation, but he kept his eyes closed.

He heard Flame moving toward the door, heard the clink of a sword being picked up. Good. The guy was leaving. Finally.

And then—

The world lurched.

Everything felt like it was expanding, stretching, pulling in ways that made Wemmbu want to throw up. His bones ached. His skin felt too tight and then too loose. Colors exploded behind his closed eyelids.

And then it stopped.

Wemmbu lay there for a moment, trying to breathe through the nausea. Something felt different. Everything felt different.

He opened his eyes.

The ceiling was closer. No—he was taller. And when he looked down, he didn't see paws.

He saw hands.

Human hands. His hands. With his retractable demon claws tucked safely away.

Oh thank everything unholy—

"What the—" Flame's voice cut through Wemmbu's relief. "Wemmbu?!"

No.

No.

Wemmbu's head snapped up, and he met Flame's eyes across the room. Flame was standing by the door, sword forgotten, staring at Wemmbu with his jaw hanging open.

Wemmbu pushed himself up on his elbows, feeling his horns—his horns, finally—catching the morning light. His demon tail swayed behind him, and he'd never been so happy to feel it.

"Flame?" Wemmbu's voice came out rough, unused after hours of being a cat. "Why am I in your base?"

Maybe—maybe—he could play this off. Pretend he'd just woken up here. Act confused. Flame didn't know. Flame couldn't know.

For a long moment, they just stared at each other.

And then Flame started laughing.

Not just laughing—cackling. Doubled over, clutching his stomach, barely able to breathe.

Wemmbu's soul left his body.

"Oh my god," Flame wheezed. "Oh my GOD, bro. You—you were the cat?!"

"No," Wemmbu said flatly, scrambling to his feet. His tail lashed behind him in agitation. "No, that didn't happen."

"Dude, you were purring!" Flame could barely get the words out between fits of laughter. "You fell asleep on my chest! I was gonna go buy you cat food!"

This was it. This was how Wemmbu died. Not in battle, not in some epic confrontation, but from pure, unadulterated humiliation.

"Shut up," Wemmbu snapped, his claws extending slightly in threat. "That—nothing happened. You hallucinated. You hit your head. Something."

"Bro, you bit me!" Flame held up his hand, showing the tiny marks. They were barely visible, already healing, but they were there. "And you showed up at my base! Out of everyone on this server, you came to me!"

"It was the closest base," Wemmbu snapped. "And you're making this up."

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening.

"You had curled ears and the weirdest tail I've ever seen on a cat!" Flame was grinning now, that predatory, delighted grin that meant Wemmbu was never going to hear the end of this. "And you liked it when I pet you."

"I did not—"

"You purred, Wemmbu."

Wemmbu's face felt hot. He wanted nothing more than for the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

"That was—" He tried to find words, any words. "Look, something went wrong, and I just—I needed somewhere to stay for the night."

"So you came here?" Flame's grin widened, and Wemmbu wanted to punch it off his face. Wanted to remind Flame that they were enemies, that this changed nothing. "To my base? Your biggest rival's base? Aw, bro, I'm touched. You really do care."

"It was close," Wemmbu said through gritted teeth, his tail whipping behind him in sharp, angry movements. "That's all."

"Sure, sure." Flame started walking over, and Wemmbu tensed, but all Flame did was reach up and pretend to scratch behind where Wemmbu's cat ear would've been. "Who's a good kitty?"

That was it.

Wemmbu swatted Flame's hand away, harder than necessary, and seriously considered following through on all those murder fantasies. "I will actually kill you."

They stared at each other. Flame was clearly enjoying this way too much, his eyes bright with amusement and victory—like he'd won their rivalry in the most unexpected way possible. Wemmbu was weighing the pros and cons of actual murder versus just disappearing forever and never showing his face on this server again.

The worst part was that Flame had ammunition now. Real, actual blackmail material.

Flame started laughing again, and despite himself—despite the humiliation, despite everything—Wemmbu felt his lips twitch. Not quite a smile. Definitely not a smile. But… something.

"This never happened," Wemmbu said firmly, crossing his arms. His tail was still lashing, but less aggressively now.

"Oh, this definitely happened, bro," Flame countered, his grin never faltering. "And I'm never letting you forget it."

"You're the worst." Wemmbu meant it. Sort of. Maybe.

"Says the guy who showed up on my doorstep meowing for help."

Wemmbu made a strangled noise that was half growl, half dying. "I'm leaving."

He headed for the door, trying to maintain whatever scraps of dignity he had left. He made it two steps before Flame called after him.

"You want breakfast first? I've got salmon! You liked it last night!"

"I hate you so much," Wemmbu threw over his shoulder, but his tail gave a little twitch that was almost playful.

He heard Flame laugh behind him as he pushed out the door into the morning sunlight.

The rain had stopped. The world looked clean and fresh. Birds were singing. It was a beautiful day.

He wanted to kill himself.