Archive of Our Own ^beta

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“You’re fun to have around, r/n!” She says.  But does she know that it’s my way to be able to seek comfort and praise from others? Can I find someone who will see through me and know what I feel every day?  

I miss that figure in my dreams. Faceless but yet knows how I feel. ‘I’ll come find you. Just wait a little longer for me, my love.’  The last thing that I remember from the faceless figure. It’s been days, maybe even weeks, since I last saw that figure. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just a hallucination from the stress of work.

“R/n!” 

“Earth to r/n!” I flinch at the yelling of my name. 

“What’s gotten into you?” She says.

“It’s nothing,” I tell her. 

Her eyes pierce into my face, and I already knew that I couldn’t hide it any longer. My best friend, Eli, set down a cup of coffee she got from the company’s cafeteria on the table I was sitting at. 

“Fine,” I say, defeated and just staring at the coffee on the table. “It’s just that I keep thinking of that faceless figure.” My hands travel down to my lap, and I turn my head to the side to look at everyone in their own worlds.

“You can’t keep being like this r/n,” Eli says. She’s right, if I keep being like this, it’ll just be a burden to those around me. I’ve been so burnt out and lost touch with reality ever since the figure started appearing in my dreams. 

“That figure, it seems so real. They even told me to wait a little longer and that they’ll find me.” I tell her. That just sounded a little off. As if I were so attached to something fictional, I didn’t want to set foot outside anymore. 

“Hear me out, r/n, if that figure seems to be real and they actually do come and find you, then what? Will you give up everything you have now and go to them? Will you leave us in the dark?” What she said did hit me. I couldn’t just leave her like this; it would be very weird too if they just suddenly appeared in my life and said, ‘It’s me, the figure in your dreams. I’ve been looking for you.’  At this point, you try to forget it again and go on with your day. 

You and Eli head back to your office. Both of you majored in fashion. Different roles but the same area. You guys have liked working together ever since high school. You met Eli in middle school when she had transferred to your school. At first glance, you had thought it was your cousin who had moved down to where your family lives. But after much staring, you knew that wasn’t your cousin but rather someone you wanted to be around. 

You remember you gathered up the courage to talk to her during break in between classes. You introduced yourself to her and asked her a bunch of questions. How you had thought she was your cousin, or if she was new to town. You didn’t know how you did it. Even your introverted self didn’t know either. Sure, you know everyone else in the room, but she didn’t stand out to you as Eli did. She’s slightly taller than you and has black hair that is longer than yours. 

You and Eli are like sunflowers, looking at the sun together, but then looking at each other whenever the sun isn’t around.  You remember her telling you how her parents thought both of you were girlfriends because neither one of you stopped talking to each other, or you and she were always together. You guys always had your ups and downs. You were there for her when her first boyfriend broke her heart. She was there when your beloved dog, Rocky, passed away. Actually, you were also there when her dog Archie had passed away. Both of your dogs came from the same litter. That’s how close you guys have gotten since then. 

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You and Eli also happen to share an apartment not too far from work. Both of you thought it would be convenient to share one, since you were hired together under the same company. Many might think that best friends shouldn’t live together because it could ruin their relationship.  You both wanted to give it a try and see if it might have that impact on both of you. Since that day, you never once thought to move out because of someone's way of living. That’s what both of you like. One is different from another, but can yet fit in with another, like the last missing piece of a puzzle. You two consider each other soulmates. That might be cheesy, but she doesn’t get you as another one does. You adore her very much. 

07/15

The stupid alarm that’s screaming its soul out to my ears notifies me that it's time to get ready for work. Once again, disappointed that I didn’t see that figure in my dreams.  Will I see them again? 

You start to get ready for another day at work. You say your morning greetings to your tuxedo cat, Mr. Butterfingers. You chose that name for him since he always slides down on everything he climbs on. He just can’t get a grip on anything. 

“Will Mr. Butterfingers have breakfast today like he’s a very disciplined gentleman? Or will he be picky about the food and refuse to eat until I give him a treat?” You ask the furry ball who is now playing with a yarn ball. 

You make your way to his bowl and place his favorite food, along with a small treat. You see Eli come out of her room with her hair all over the place, yet looking very beautiful as always. 

“Come eat, I’ve heated up leftovers from last night,” You say.

“Thank you, my very lovely wife~~ What would I do without you,” Eli says with sarcasm, yet with love.

“No luck yet with that figure?” Eli asks. You sigh and look at your cat eating. Eyes filled with hopelessness. 

“Nothing yet,” You say

Both of you finish breakfast and start heading out to work. You say your farewells to Mr. Butterfingers. You let Eli know that you’ll stop by a cafe to get yourself something. She tells you to make it safely to work and not to be late.  You assure her and make your way to the cafe.

You open the door to the cafe, and you’re welcomed with the scent of coffee. It’s a cozy little cafe that you’ve been to for years now. You greet the cafe’s pets. A cute little white ferret, her name, Salt, and her twin sister, Pepper, a cute little black ferret.  You hear someone welcome you, and it's Seungkwan. The coffee shop's owner.

“Hi r/n~, long time no see~” He says.

“Hi, Kwan-ah, I’ve missed your coffee,” You say and smile. 

“She only came back for my coffee and not for me,” He says, upset.

“I’m just kidding, you know I missed you too,” You say, trying to get him to cheer up.

“Will you have the regular today, or do you want to make it complicated for me?” Seungkwan asks.  

“How about you make me something this time that requires some knowledge. Something that maybe another person has ordered. But make sure it’s also something I like too!” You say.

“I swear you always complicate this for me,” He says jokingly. “Also, where have you been during this time? I barely see you.” He adds on.

“Just work and home. Never going out, always staying late.” You say as you take a seat near the counter. 

“You workaholic. Start taking better care of yourself. Go out and meet new people. You should really start going out with me.” He says as if he were your mom. 

“You know it’s hard for me to meet new people. I’m already comfortable enough to just have you and Eli.” You say. Meeting new people was always an obstacle for you. This being an obstacle also meant that dating was a problem. You dated a few people in the past. It always ended with losing feelings to one another. You just couldn’t find the right person who shares the same interests as you. 

Seungkwan’s words also hit deep within you. You’re always one to be lonely most of the time. You’ve tried to fit in with many groups in the past. But it had seemed that most of them had already known each other for many years. 

In your own little world, you don’t realize that Seungkwan was in front of you with your drink ready in his hands. 

“What are you thinking about so much? Hurry up and take this. I have customers to take care of,” He says, bringing you out of your thoughts. 

“Thank you, I’ll be heading out now. I’ll see you soon, alright.” You say and make your way out of the cafe. 

“Take care, r/n!” He yells out.

Looking at your watch, you realize you have roughly 10 minutes to get to work. You start walking rapidly to make it in time. You bump into a tall figure. You weren’t able to see their face, but you apologized and kept the pace you were going to work. You made it just in time before the boss got there. 

“R/n, where were you?!” Eli asks. 

“I was catching up with Seungkwan and forgot about the time. I’m glad I made it just in time, though.” You tell her.

“Like barely,” She adds on.

Mr. Chwe makes his way into the office, and everyone greets him. “Good morning, everyone!” He says. “R/n? Is r/n here today?” He asks for you, and you think to yourself if you’re in trouble today. What did I do this time that he has my name in his mouth?  You keep thinking to yourself until Eli points you out. 

“Oh, there you are!” He says with that heart-shaped smile. 

“What would our president need help with today?” You ask nervously.

“I’d like you to create some clothing for our partnered company, Aprico. You have created many great ideas with past projects, and I thought of you with this one. Will that be possible for you to complete?” He states. 

“That would certainly be my pleasure,” You say and smile at him. 

“Great! You have 2 months to give me your final draft, and you can also send in rough drafts for me to look at.” He says. 

More work for me means more stress for me, and no more being able to go online. I really wanted to spend the rest of the week with my pc games. 

Mr. Chwe isn’t a bad president, but he can turn into one if you don’t turn in projects on time. He likes to have things organized and doesn’t like being late or having stuff turned in late. These are things you keep in mind when it comes to these kinds of projects. Your projects in the past have been very successful for both you and the company. 

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What do I do now? The original plan has been thrown into the pit with no backup. Whatever, I’ll just see what I can get done tomorrow since today has already been a long day.  I still feel bad about the person I ran into in the morning. So many things are happening already. 

“R/n?” Are you feeling alright?” Eli asks.

“I’m okay, no need to worry. Just another project that has to get done.” You say, looking over the project already, with slight hope it’ll turn out better than the past projects you’ve done. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to come up with things that fall under the theme he gave me,” You say, your head hitting your desk. 

“Oh, come on, it shouldn’t be that bad,” Eli assures you while looking over it as well.

Eli looks through the project, and her smile fades away. “Maybe it might be. Just slightly, though.” She says. 

“My weekend plans are over. I wanted to spend time on my computer and hop on games I haven’t played in weeks.” You say, upset.  Maybe I’ll get on tonight. It can’t be that bad, right?  Time to put my skills to work now that I've seen tricks online.  

At last, it was time to go home. The thought of that meant being able to hop on for a few games and then get started on the project. You hop on Dead by Daylight and join a lobby. You greet everyone in the lobby and start the game. You were the killer a few times and won. However, you were unlucky whenever you were a survivor. 

In Game:

[eyesofT1GER] - the person who uses the plague skin is very good at being the killer but the worst at being a survivor.

[talkwon] - they’re really good though, i’ve never seen anyone on my level like that

[chriern] - ty ty, its very nice to see others appreciate my skills

[angelpire] - its good yes, but as good as wonu’s? I dont think so hehe

[oozinwoozi] - but you have to admit theyre good tho

[angelpire] - i guess yeah

[talkwon] - chriern lets play sometime again :p

[chriern] - sounds good! lmk when :3 

[talkwon] - ill add you and lyk when im free or when im on

[chriern] - ok! it was nice meeting with you all ^^

You’re happy you made a friend online. Most of the time, there would be jerks who trash-talk so much that you just give a look of disgust through the screen. It was very different today. 

I wonder if the person who added me plays a lot? They're also good. I’m scared and also happy. They considered my skills very good. “R/n time to freshen up and go to sleep,”  You say and start the shower. Once you’re out of the shower, you do your nightly routine, which consists of brushing your teeth and applying your nightly face mask. Once you’re in bed, you make yourself comfy and put in your headphones to listen to music. You slowly start dozing off, and before you know it, you’re sound asleep.

“R/n! R/n! It’s me,” You hear a faint voice say.

“Leave me alone, you’re not here for me. You’ve forgotten about me.” You say eyes closed. 

“Open your eyes and look at me.” A deep voice says.

You open your eyes to see that same tall figure that you kept yearning for. A nice comfort, that then brings you out of your shell. The new figure is a man with fair skin and black hair. 

“I’ve found you,” He says.

You look around you. Everything looks so unfamiliar, yet it doesn’t. Have I been here before? Is my head playing tricks on me right now? Why are you showing up now?  Your head is filled with questions, yet the man right in front of you just smiles at you. 

“Why are you smiling at a moment like this?” You ask.

“Because…I found you. I found my person.” He answers, still not breaking eye contact, and keeps that same smile, this time a little bigger. 

“You’re weird.” You tell him.

“I know, and I know you’ll love me for that.” He says.

“Why am I even here? I had started to forget about you. I kept holding on to that little hope that you would come back. I eventually stopped, thinking you had forgotten about me.” You say, upset that he had taken an eternity to come back to you. 

“I’m sorry,” He only says. 

Oh, what am I supposed to do now? He’s come back to me, and now all I can do is wake up and forget everything here.  It’s not real. He’s not real. If he were, he would really look for me and not here. Why here? What’s so special about it being in a dream? 

You force yourself to wake up from the dream. You know the man isn’t real. That’s what you think. As you turn around from him, you feel a hand on your left wrist. He turns you towards him. He takes your face into his hands, and next thing you know, he’s kissing you. Never in your life has a guy kissed you like this. They’re always rough with you, but this man, this man’s touch felt so soft and comforting. You start melting into the soft kiss. The kiss is very gentle with a warm touch. You get a quick taste of his lips. Cherries? Did he have cherries before kissing me? Or was it before falling asleep? He breaks apart the kiss that lasted an eternity to you, but was only a few minutes.  He stares at you while you are trying to avoid looking into his eyes. Looking only down at the ground where the flowers are. 

“Do you still think I forgot? Does it not feel real to you, r/n?” He asks, still trying to make you look at him.

“This isn’t real!” You tell him, eyes shut while pushing him away with your hands. 

“Look at me, r/n. Just look at me, please.” He says a little upset.

You turn your head to look at him, and there he was. Eyes filled with worry, knowing he might once again lose you. He then pulls you into his chest and hugs you. 

“I’ve already lost you once. I’m not going to lose you again.” He says, and you can hear the shakiness of his voice. 

“I’m going to need you to take one good look at me, please,” He says and pulls apart from the hug. His hands on your shoulders.

“I know you think I won’t actually find you, but I’m actually closer to you than you think.” He says.  

You look at his face carefully, trying to see any unique features. And there it was, that singular beauty mark under his right eye. You notice the necklace he was also wearing. A blue rock that your eyes can’t distinguish just yet, that hangs on a silver chain. 

“Remember it, please.” He says. He grabs your hand and traces something on it. 

“My name, remember it too,” He says while rewriting it again. You start hearing something, but you try to focus on what he’s writing on your palm. You still can’t figure out his name, and your vision starts to get blurry. The sound you had heard is now ringing louder in your ears. You were able to figure out just the first three letters of his name. Won. 

There you were again, on a bed filled with blankets and plushies. Rain hits your window, and you sigh in relief. Just a dream, but I was able to see them again. He, to be exact. I hope you come to me. I miss you already. 

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