Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a Saturday night and Dan wanted nothing more than to sit in his room alone quietly reading a book. Maybe he would reorganize his flower crowns and pastel sweaters if he was feeling a bit frisky. But no, that couldn’t happen. His mother was forcing him to take his little cousin to see some concert. Dan had never even listened the guy’s music before. Besides what was on the radio that is. But from a quick google search he saw that Phil Lester was rather attractive. Or extremely attractive. Whichever, both adverbs work.

Phil Lester was a pop singer that twelve year old girls liked to call punk to feel edgy, kind of like Five Seconds of Summer. Dan would not fit in at the concert. Everyone would be wearing black and semi punk clothes while he didn’t own much that would not blend into a nursery. He did have two exceptions to that pseudo rule though. He wore exclusively too tight black skinny jeans and one outfit that he wore to his true punk concerts, which he didn’t want to get out for this. Dan didn’t really care if he was going to fit in though. The opinions of prepubescent girls meant nothing to him. He looked through his closet trying to find something to wear and decided on a white button down with a mint green cardigan and a flower crown made out of small daisies. And of course, his black skinny jeans.

He still had an hour before his little cousin was supposed to arrive, so he decided to play with his hair. Even though he didn’t care what the people there thought about him, he enjoyed doing his hair and still wanted it to look nice. He pulled out his straightener and went to work. His hair was naturally corkscrew curly, almost like a hobbit. Dan hated it. His family members would always comment on it, saying it looked so cute on him and it really added to his pastel vibe. But he still hated it. Not only did he think that is framed his face awkwardly, but Dan thought that with a flower crown, his head was too busy.

While trying to get his bangs to have the perfect right sided swoop, his cousin snuck up behind him and grabbed his sides, startling him, causing Dan to burn his hand.

“Fuck!” He yelled out in pain. There were not many times that Dan swore. It only happens on two occasions actually. Pain and, well, you can guess the other. Krystal stepped back in shock, not sure of what happened, never hearing her older cousin curse before. She looked down and saw the red on his right forefinger where he got burnt.

“Oh god. Should I go get your mum?” She asked while trying to stay calm. Dan could detect a trace amount of worry and guilt in her voice.

“No, I should be fine. You did scare me though. I thought you weren’t coming until six?” He walked over to his connected bathroom and ran his hand under cold water. Krystal trailed right behind him.

“Well, I was, but then mum got annoyed at me because I wouldn’t stop talking because I was so excited and when I get excited I talk fast and forget to breath and just say super random things in run on sentences so my mom called your mom and your mom said that I could come over for dinner and that you would help me do my hair. Oh. Will you help me do my hair?”

Dan just stared at her with raised eyebrows with a slight smile.

“Are you almost done?” She just gave him a dirty look and grabbed his hand to drag him over to his bed. Dan walked over to his bookshelf and turned on his iHome, playing Muse. He gave a stern look directed at Krystal that said not a word, I’m already taking you to your concert. She wasn’t thrilled with the music choice but didn’t complain either.

He sat on the bed and she sat on the floor leaning against Dan’s legs.

You could be my unintended. The song started playing and Dan hummed along. He leaned back to grab his comb and straightener, letting it rest on his nightstand. Choice to live my life extended. Her hair was short, dyed a vibrant red, and was naturally curly like Dan’s own. You could be the one I'll always love. Even though they don’t see each other very often, he knew exactly how she wanted her hair. You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions. He stated straightening it, being careful not burn himself again. You could be the one I'll always love.

Once he got all the hairs down, including that really annoying piece in the back that just wanted to stand straight up, he got up and grabbed his hair putty.

“This will help keep its shape tonight,” he explained to the patiently awaiting girl. He asked her to stand up and face him so he could do this part easier. Even at seventeen, Dan was still six foot one, an entire foot taller than his tiny cousin.

He started to work the putty through her hair until it had a nice evenly spread and was workable. Once he got the shape exactly how he wanted it, she turned to look in the mirror.

“I look like a real emo,” she whispered in amazement. Dan let out a chuckle and lightly pushed her out of the way so he could finish his own hair. When he finally got his hair how he wanted it, his mum called both of them down for dinner.

“Wow Krystal, Dan really knows how to make your hair look amazing,” Dan’s mum said in astonishment, in which Dan rolled his eyes to.

“Thanks. I’m hungry and we have to go soon, Food?” The two girls looked at Dan like he was crazy but all three of them sat down to eat.

“Okay. Before we go, you need to know some rules because this is your first concert. We are on the floor and I don’t know if this will be like a punk concert, but if it is, if someone falls down, you stop and help them up. No matter what. Don’t hit anyone, even if things get crazy and a mosh pit starts, which I highly doubt will, don’t participate. Just leave that area. And please don’t scream perverted things to the poor guy. You are thirteen and he is twenty one. No one wants to hear about how you want to do nasty things to him. Okay?”

“Yes father,” Krystal sarcastically responded. “Are you almost done with your food? We still have to pick up Charlie and Sherlock.”

Dan almost spat out his dinner.

“You have a friend named Sherlock? I could see that in other countries but here? Really? What were her, um, his parents thinking?” Dan wasn’t sure of the gender so he said both.

“Their,” Krystal responded nonchalantly. “They are agender, so use they them pronouns. And they changed their name about six months ago. Not their birth name. Did your mum not tell you about my friends?”

He was surprised but also proud about how chill his cousin was her friend’s gender. He looked up at his mum questionably.

“No, she didn’t. I thought it was just going to be the two of us. That’s okay though. Maybe I can ditch you guys and just pick you up later.” He winked at his mum letting her know he wasn’t serious. Krystal just rolled her eyes. It seemed to be a common thing for his family to do.

“Well kiddo, you ready to go? You don’t want to be late to your first concert. Plus, the floor doesn’t have assigned seats so we need to get there as early as possible. Krystal jumped out of her chair and ran to the door.

“I’m ready if you are. Got the tickets?” Dan held up two tickets with his unburnt hand and gave his mom a kiss on the check. It’s going to be a long night, Dan thought to himself.

Chapter Text

Krystal would not stop talking the entire car ride. Dan already didn’t know where any of her friends lived, so trying to find their houses was hell. She was rubbish at giving directions and often got distracted by whatever random thought crossed her head. He soon gave up and just pulled out his iPhone and prayed that apple maps would be better at directions than whatever nonsense was coming out of her mouth.

When he finally found Charlie’s house, a little red haired girl wearing a Harry Potter shirt was waiting on the porch playing on a 3DS. When Dan honked his horn, being a little impatient, she quickly put it in the mailbox and ran to the car.

“Hey bitches,” she greeted as she slid next to Krystal. Dan gave her a death glare in the rearview mirror for her language. Krystal sure had a unique taste in friends.

“The mailbox?” Dan asked questioningly, deciding to leave her statement alone.

“What? Oh, it’s for safe keeping. I didn’t want to go back inside.” He thought that she was odd but didn’t seem like a bad kid.
“This is the gay one, right?” Charlie directed to Krystal.

Dan got caught off guard at that question and swerved a little.

“I take that as a yes,” Charlie responded smugly. Please kill me ran through Dan’s head more than a few times. “Don’t worry, most of my friends are. Like Dean and Cassie, who I think are secretly banging. I am too. Gay that is. Not secretly banging. So no judgment from me.”

Dan’s face became hot and thought it best to not respond. There was no way he could pull this conversation in a normal direction. He also realized excessive talking might be a trait with all his cousin’s friends.

After about half an hour more of miserable direction giving, he finally found Sherlock’s house. Krystal gave them a quick call, which Dan thought was weird because who actually calls their friends anymore. But before long, they walked out.

Sherlock had short black hair, high cheekbones, and pale skin. He could understand why they chose that as their new name.

Dan mostly tried to block out their conversations. He did not need to nor want to hear what they were talking about. He soon realized that this might also be their first concert, and decided to give them the speech too.

“Listen up. I already explained this to Krystal but you guys need to hear it to. I don’t know how crazy this will get, but if it gets too violent for your liking, leave the area. We are on the floor so it will be a lot worse than if we had regular tickets. You guys can always get me and leave for a little bit if you need to, okay? And also, no screaming nasty things at the poor guy. Yet again, thirteen and twenty one. It’s gross.”

Dan got mumbles and eye rolls in response, but he was the adult, term used lightly, here and was responsible for them. He also wanted them to have a good time and if they were uncomfortable, that would be rather difficult.

After another fifteen minutes of lost driving, they stumbled upon the building where the concert was being held. Dan looked around and saw only prepubescent girls. Everywhere. He had a feeling that this would happen but he kind of wished he was wrong.

He was so out of place with his outfit and was feeling very judged. He didn’t know that thirteen year old girls could be so judgmental with just their looks.

Doors opened half an hour before they got there, making there be no wait line. Dan showed the ticket collector all four of their tickets and they strode to the pit. The second he walked in, his internal sigh began. His regret for saying yes to Krystal and her friends was quite strong at this point.

Not only did he stick out from his outfit choice, but he was also the tallest person. And pretty much the only guy. He groaned when he walked through the doors. Charlie, Krystal, and Sherlock were ecstatic though. They were laughing and smiling and already shoving their ways to the front row. Dan tried to push along, knowing the he should stay with them for a least a little bit. He felt bad about being so tall, blocking the people behind him views.

The room was at least thirty two degrees and Dan was already starting to sweat. He looked over and the girls were giddy with excitement. Ew, he thought to himself. He understood their excitement, he really did, but he felt so out of place and so hot that he couldn’t help but be a little bitter.

They stood there for what felt like ages waiting for the opener band to come out. Dan didn’t recognize the first band, probably some local group that was just playing this one show. He was agitated for the other opening band though. Hands Like Houses. A band he secretly enjoyed.

It was a small venue, so he didn’t have much room to move. Dan just kind of stood there stiffly with his arms plastered to his chest so he didn’t accidentally hit anyone walking by. He wasn’t even able to turn without the very likely possibility of knocking over a preteen girl, so he waited motionless for the lights to dim.

Finally, after at least half an hour, the opening band came out. Nothing too exciting happened with them. They played some songs, screamed a little and most of the people were too awkward to actually jump or move, so everyone just stood there. After their set was finished, they welcomed the next band to the stage.

The room went black and all you could hear was bass. It made the floor shake and sent vibrations up Dan’s body. He was pretty sure he was the only person here who knew who they were, but he didn’t care. He wanted to enjoy himself at least a little bit tonight. The band entered the stage under a strobe light, making Dan dizzy but also eager. He could see them moving but only when the lights flashed, giving them a cool robotic look to them.

Dan was jumping as much as his six foot body could, but soon felt very light headed. He was sweating in his mint jumper, long sleeve shirt, and skinny jeans. Stay, don’t go. The song was roaring thought the hall. Realizing that he needed to get out of the unduly hot room, he tapped Krystal’s shoulder and pointed to the door. I’ll eat you up, I love you so. She looked confused but quickly realized that he was leaving. I want you to follow and find me. Dan battled his way out of the pit and finally found the door. Howl like it’s us and no-one else. He stumbled about, needing to find some fresh air. We could keep out the sadness and stand so tall. He saw a back door and decided to go outside to try to regain himself. We could run like wild things, and lie right where we fall.

The music just became noise when the door was closed. Once outside, he noticed that maybe he wasn’t supposed to be out there. There was a giant truck that was unloading loads of music equipment. Speakers, guitars, basses, drums, mics, and things he didn’t recognize.

All of a sudden everything turned sideways and Dan’s head hurt. What the fuck, he thought. He felt the ground under the side of his face and put it together that he must have fallen over. Jesus fucking Christ way to go Dan. He cringed at his own stupidity. “Are you okay?” Dan heard a sweet, soothing voice ask. Before Dan could reply, everything went black.

Chapter Text

Dan woke up with a black haired boy just inches from his face. Confusion overtook him and he couldn’t remember where he was.

“Ow,” he moaned out. His head was throbbing and he felt very weak. He tried to move before the stranger grabbed his shoulders.

“Woah, hold up mate. Don’t try to stand. Here, drink.” A bottle of water was put in front of Dan’s face and he graciously accepted, drinking most of it in one go. He started to remember what happened and panic filled his veins.

“Krystal,” he muttered, banging the back of his head against the wall. “I have to go find her. I’m her ride!” Dan stood up with urgency, almost falling over before grabbing onto the other boy once again.

“Don’t worry, you weren’t out for long. Like, two minutes max. I haven’t even gone on yet. Are you okay? What happened?”

What? Gone on? What did he mean… Dan tried putting the pieces together.His eyes widened as he realized who the onyx haired mystery boy was.

“Oh god, I’m sorry. It was hot and I was dizzy and I just found a door and,” he was quickly cut off by the other boy insisting that it was fine and that he needed to sit back down. It was at that moment that Dan realized he was still being held up by Phil. Krystal won’t believe me when she hears about this one.

He leaned up against the wall and slid down so he was sitting with his knees in his chest. He was handed another bottle of water and slowly sipped from it, feeling a little sick from drinking the first one all at once. The other boy sat down in front of him.

“So… I overheated, wandered outside, found my way to Phil Lester’s bus, and passed out. That’s a new one,” Dan joked, trying to lighten the mood. Phil reached behind him and grabbed something off the ground.

“First time for me too,” Phil giggled, placing Dan’s lost flower crown back on his head. “I think you lost this.”

Dan blushed at how close he was. Pictures couldn’t do this boy justice. His face was angled, but not pointy. He was soft while still having a manly face. In all the photos he saw, Phil’s eyes looked an unbelievable shade of grey, adding to the mystery of the punk singer. But up close, Dan could see that they were a piercing blue. His eyes looked like the ocean and Dan was certainly getting lost in them. He had gauged ears, but they didn’t look harsh or out of place. He had tattoos down to his elbows, elegantly inked into his skin.
Phil’s hand lingered on Dan’s head, slowly tracing down to his face. Phil touched Dan’s cheek with the back of his hand before a fellow bandmate coughed, bringing him out of his trance.

“Oh, um, I mean, you okay mate? You can stay out here if you want, so you don’t pass out again. My detail will be out here with you too. I have to go get ready, it’s almost time for me to go on.”

Dan felt oddly cold at the loss of Phil’s hand. Oh god, I forgot to pay attention to what was just said. Smile and nod? That usually works. Dan was too busy staring into Phil’s eyes to hear what he had said.

Phil laughed at Dan’s odd response and pushed himself up using Dan’s knees.

“Stay safe, okay?”

Dan nodded again, perplexed by Phil’s accent. It sounded very stereotypical for a British guy, but it had hints of Northern in it. He wondered if the other boy was trying to hide his upbringing by masking his accent.

Phil walked through the door that Dan come out of, looking back and smiling before going in. His tongue poked out of the right side of mouth, which Dan thought to be utterly adorable. He picked up the water bottle, taking another sip, and touched his flower crown. Did that really just happen? was all that ran through Dan’s mind.

He laughed to himself, thinking about how amazing that would have been if he was actually a fangirl and not just a guy who thought he was cute.
……..

Phil went inside and was happier than he had been in a while. That boy didn’t seem to only want to talk to him because of who he was. In fact, he seemed a little uncomfortable with it. It was so refreshing. And judging by his clothes, Phil thought maybe he wasn’t even a fan. Phil had a rule against dating fans. He stopped dead in his tracks at that thought, causing his bassist run into him by accident. Why am I thinking about dating him? He is just some really attractive guy that I meet literally five minutes ago.

Phil suddenly felt a wave of anxiety wash over him. He couldn’t do anything with the boy anyway. He wasn’t allowed to be gay in this industry. His band mates knew, but only because they were lifelong friends of his. And wait, didn’t that guy say something about being there with a girl? He had a girlfriend, so he should just forget about it. Literally nothing about this could end well. He lost all his drive and just wanted to lay down. He hated that his band mates asked him to not be with guys. “What kind of punk singer is a homo?” they would constantly remind him. It was the 21st century, no one cared anymore. It was stupid.

He realized that he didn’t even know the boy’s name and thought he would have to ask him after the show. Phil hoped that he would be okay. He heard the crowd cheering and knew that he was about to have to go on. He tried to get himself amped up again, but couldn’t stop thinking about that pastel boy. He wanted nothing more than to sit down and have coffee with him. He seemed more like a coffee than a tea kind of guy.

Normally before Phil would perform he would get these psyched pre-show jitters, but right now really just wanted to lay down and forget.

Chapter Text

Dan sat outside until he felt somewhat normal again, still trying to process the night’s events. The detail that was out there just kept looking at him like he was about to commit a homicide. Any attempt at conversation he made was rudely ignored. Dan felt like he did something wrong. Which he guessed he did, but he didn’t do it on purpose. If he went back inside right away, chances are he would just pass out cause a scene, and disrupt the show. Quietly sitting outside was the best option at this point.

The sky was dark, yet the stars were non-visible because of a thin layer of smog. Perks of living in a big city, Dan joked to himself. Dan laid on his back with his arms behind his head, admiring the beauty of the night sky. The moon was full and illuminated everything with a mystic glow. A tree rested above him and the leaves looked like fire, becoming shades of yellow, orange, and red from the changing season. The temperature was starting to drop and Dan felt a little more at ease. He gave up trying to make friendly conversation and decided to just enjoy the night. Although this beautiful scenery wasn’t the whole of why Dan’s evening was made.

Dan soon let his mind wander, always feeling more emotional when he was alone at night, not counting the speechless bodyguards.

Phil seemed really cool, Dan thought to himself. Really down to earth and actually sweet. Dan moved his arm from under his head and grabbed his flower crown at the memory. He looked at it, almost able to feel Phil’s hand again, then hug it against his chest. And when he touched my face, his hand was so soft. Why did he do that anyway? It was a bit odd. It didn’t feel odd though, it felt natural. Like it was meant to be. Oh fuck, when did I get that cheesy?

Dan let his thoughts take over and he zoned out what was going on around him. All he focused on was the ideas running through his head, which always seemed to come back to Phil, and the moon filtering in between the trees.

Dan must have fallen asleep and when he came back to reality, his head was foggy and he couldn’t really remember what happened. Panic ran through him for a second time that night about his little cousin again. He promptly sat up and swiveled around, trying to find his phone.

While extending his arm in a rushed panic, he accidentally hit his burn against a tree and winced in pain. Nice going Howell, Jesus Christ! Dan used his other hand to prop himself up and walked around the tiny outside area in search for his missing phone.

The whole time that he was looking for it, Phil’s detail would not take an eye off him, acting like he was about to poison the water supply or cut the breaks to their bus. Dan wandered around looking everywhere, but it was gone. He knew he would have to ask one of them to call it, but he was not looking forward to it, deciding to busy himself.
As he walked by the bus, he saw his reflection and realized how messed up his hair was. What used to be perfect was now a chaotic jumble of hair sticking in wrong directions and a crooked flower crown tangled in his longer fringe. I look like I’ve got sex hair going on or something. Ha, I wish.

His hands went to work trying to regain control over it but nothing he did seemed to help any. He had far too much hair product in for it to do anything remotely normal. The humidity was making it revert back to his natural hobbit hair, so there really was nothing that could be done at this point.

Dan still tried though, pushing and pulling his hair in all directions. His fringe was sort of in the right spot again, but the back of his head was totally sticking up because of how he was lying. While trying to get the pesky hairs to just go back down where they are supposed to be god damn it you fuckers, a cracked giggle startled him, causing Dan to jump and let out a high pitched squeal. The culprit let out another giggle at Dan’s reaction.

With a very irritated and stern expression, he turned expecting to find one of the rude bodyguards but instead found, a now very sweaty, Phil.

“Having fun out here?” Phil said, winking to exasperate the innuendo.

Dan stared at Phil’s new look. Before he looked good, but now he looks downright gorgeous. His black fringe was plastered to his forehead and dripping with sweat. His skin glistened in the restricted lighting and his oceanic eyes stood out even more, lighting up his entire being.

“Uh, yeah. I mean no,” Dan awkwardly blurted out, reaching his hand up to rub the back of his neck. “I may or may not have accidentally fallen asleep out here.” Smoooooth Dan. Way to totally not show how nervous you are. The sarcasm was thick even in his own head.

“Was my show just that boring?” Phil retorted, leaning his shoulder against the bus. Damn charisma, Dan thought.

“I didn’t even get to see the show. I was stuck out here the whole time. More like, the night was so beautiful and captivating that it lulled me to sleep,” Dan poetically said, trying to regain some of his usual self.

“Well that’s no good, you paid for tickets but missed out! Maybe you shouldn’t have worn a cardigan to a punk show,” Phil winked.

“As pathetic as it sounds, my mother payed for my ticket. But, to be fair, I brought my cousin and her friends here and my mum asked me to supervise. Which I did a horrible job of.. I really should go find her,” Dan sadly realized.

“Wait, your cousin? Krystal is your cousin..” Phil quietly said, trailing off at the end.

Dan looked up at Phil’s face and was puzzled by the mixed emotions displayed on it. He looked confused and almost, pleased? But why would he be pleased? Oh god. Does he want to bang my cousin? His skin went cold at the thought. She would definitely do it too. Oh god. Oh fuck. This is not happening. Does he know her age? I should try to casually slip it in.
“Yeah, she’s my little cousin. My mom thought she was too young to come alone and forced me to take her. Though I went to my first concert when I was thirteen and lived to talk about it. But I guess that since she’s a girl her and my mom both thought she could use extra protection.”

Phil turned to look at Dan and a confused smile crept onto his face.

“Yeah, I understand that. Young girls are more likely to do something stupid.”

“Yeah, anyway, I should probably go find her. Oh, my name is Dan by the way. Dan Howell. I don’t remember if I told you or not.”

Dan’s smile made little dimples and Phil couldn’t help but stare that them.

“Phil. Phil Lester, but I’m guessing you figured that out by now. Give me your phone.”

Dan questionably looked at Phil, wondering why he wanted his phone before remembering that it had magically disappeared.

“I actually have no idea where it is.. I seemed to have lost it when I came out here. Mind giving it a ring?”

Phil pulled out his phone and handed it to Dan without a second thought. He wondered what rock star would actually be this trustworthy. When Dan got it in hand, he turned it on and immediately laughed at his pink and yellow floral background, clashing with his black spiked phone case.

Phil looked at him before realizing what was happening and his face turned a deep cherry, not realizing the real reason behind Dan’s laughter. On Dan’s own phone, he had a phone case that was almost identical to Phil’s wallpaper, but he himself had a dark Muse edit for his background. Total opposites. He secretly loves pastels and I secretly love darks. Kind of amazing actually.

Dan went to the phone app, completely oblivious to Phil’s now reddened face, and rang his own phone. A buzzing came from under the bus and Phil dropped on all fours and grabbed it.

He was down under the bus for quite some time, presumably trying to find the lost phone. He emerged soon after and gave the phone to Dan and dusted himself off.
“Nice background by the way. Muse is amazing. Total badasses too. They are such an inspiration,” Phil said.

“No way! Muse is like, my favorite band ever!” Dan excitedly exclaimed. His phone then buzzed in his hand. Looking at it, he saw six texts and two calls from Krystal.
“Shit, I have to go find Krystal and her friends. It is already past their bedtimes,” Dan joked.

“This conversation isn’t over, Dan Howell,” Phil lightly said.

Dan turned around after saying his goodbyes and called up his cousin. She was not pleased with being abandoned and the three of them were waiting at the car for the past fifteen minutes. Dan walked out and found three very pissed off small people.

“It’s about time. Let’s go,” Krystal rudely said. “Where did you even go? You left before Phil Lester even came on stage. It was a waste of money for you to buy a ticket.”
Dan was about to answer that he went outside to get air, which wasn’t a total lie, before Charlie spoke up. Her hair was now matted and sticking in awkward directions. Maybe next time she'll realize that you are supposed to wear long hair up.

“He probably went and hooked up with some emo guy. It doesn’t matter, let’s just go. I’m tired.”

They all mumbled in agreement and filed into the car in silence. They sure are bitchy right now.

The drive was mostly silent except for Dan’s phone telling him when to turn, giving him time to try to understand what had happened.

He genuinely enjoyed talking to Phil. They seemed to have a lot of the same interests and he wasn’t stuck up or rude like he naturally thought a punk singer would be. Plus he wasn’t actually trying to sleep with Krystal, which Dan felt kind of bad for thinking now. He just seemed like a great guy. Not to mention he was really fucking attractive.
Dan dropped them all off at Krystal’s house, they wanted to have a sleepover and it was definitely not happening at Dan’s house, and went home.

He hopped in the shower and when he got out, he saw a text on his phone. When he picked it up to look at it, he saw that Phil made a contact for himself, complete with picture and personal information. Except that instead of his name, it said Lion. The only way that Dan knew it was him was the fact that the picture was taken from underneath the bus.

Lion: bored. where do you live? i’ll be there in ten.

Dan was in shock, but his emotions were purely joyous. He wondered why he put his name as Lion, Dan found it cute and endearing. He really liked Phil, and maybe this meant that Phil liked him too. Wait, no you idiot. He's straight.

He put a towel around his waist, walked to his room, and replied to Phil.

Dan: already miss me?

He pulled out his blow dryer on the off chance that Phil would actually come to his house but didn’t even have time to plug it in before his phone vibrated again.

Lion: of course Daniel Howell. you intrigue me. like seriously though, who the heck wears a cardigan to an event like this?

Dan laughed at the use of heck, giving who Phil is. He was a bit louder than originally anticipating and he hoped that it didn’t wake up his mom.

Dan: amazing people, that’s who. 7891 West Wokingham Ave. give me some time though, i just got out of the shower.

Dan threw his phone onto his bed and quickly tried to dry his hair. It was not really wanting to listen, but he used his straightener and got it to look semi decent and with product it didn’t look too bad. His closet was a mess by the time he finally found something he wanted to wear. He changed into a floral button down, a lilac jumper, and some classic black skinny jeans. He wanted something to be at least a little punk.

Right as he was placing the flower crown on his head, his phone started buzzing, telling him that Phil had arrived.

Chapter Text

Dan raced down the stairs so fast that he almost face planted, but he luckily caught himself on the railing. He was excited but also nervous to see what Phil had planned for their night out. It still seemed unbelievable to him. Why would Phil Lester want to hang out with him? He wasn’t exciting or fun or even a fan. He was just some random guy at a random show.

Dan got to the door and quietly opened it, trying not to wake up him mum. Only a few more months until I can move out. Then I won’t have to sneak out to hang out with incredibly attractive guys at two am. …what am I doing with my life?

Phil was sitting on the railing and in a completely different outfit than what he was wearing earlier. Somehow he looked softer. He was still wearing all black, but his shirt was a regular loose crew cut band tee and his skinny jeans had no holes. His hair was more relaxed and wasn’t stiff with product, trying to make it stay perfect. He showered too, Dan noticed.

“Hey Dan,” Phil loudly said.

“Shh, my mum is asleep.” Dan said as he stepped outside, closing the door behind him.

He could see the contorted look on Phil’s face, probably on why he still lives with his mum. At that moment, Dan realized that Phil doesn’t even know his age. “I’m seventeen by the way. Eighteen in three months. In case you were wondering.” Dan saw Phil’s face relax a bit, probably happy that Dan wasn’t fourteen or something ridiculous like that.
“Nice. I’m twenty one.” Phil awkwardly stated.

“Yeah, I googled you before the show. And wow, I am just making myself sound more and more lame. Your music is good, I really do like it. I just never really listened to it so I wanted to look you up so I knew what kind of concert I was being dragged to. Not dragged, graciously forced to go to?” Dan’s voice inflexed at the end as he realized that he was making a complete fool of himself.

Phil let out a laugh at Dan babbling.

“I don’t really care that you google me or that my music isn’t your cup of tea. In case you didn’t notice, most of the people there were under the age of fifteen and female. Now, will you please get into my car? It’s really freaking cold out here.”

Dan and Phil briskly walked to the Porsche Panamera S E-Hybrid and quickly filed in, trying to escape the cool air of the night. Without all the excitement of the concert, it was actually rather cold outside.

Under the dim light from the car, Dan could get a better look at Phil’s tattoos. There was a dragon going up his neck, most of it was hidden under his shirt though. He had flowers on his arm, but they were intertwined with skulls and thorns, as if to prove that he was punk. On his left hand, he had the bone structure of his hand and the ring finger had a crack right below the knuckle. Everything on him was so interact and detailed, they must have taken hours and multiple sessions to do. Phil sure what dedicated to his tattoos. They looked kept up too. None of them were even faded.

They drove around the city, seemingly with no destination in head, just laughing and joking and getting to know each other.

“Truth or dare,” Phil smiled, looking over at Dan.

“Seriously? What are we, four?” Dan laughed out. Even though this night is ridiculous and they haven’t really talked about anything, it had been the most fun he had had in quite some time. They were laughing about stupid things and just letting go of the world.

“Come on, it will be fun. Where’s a nearby park? We can sit down and not be in a cramped car.” Phil slowed down, giving Dan more time to think of an answer.

“We might be out of a car but we will be surrounded by scary homeless people and drug dealers waiting to murder helpless people like up.”

Phil looked over at Dan and smirked, letting what he said sink in.

“You don’t look that intimidating Phil,” Dan said, raising an eyebrow. “You are more of the adorable punk type than the scary punk type.” Dan froze up when he realized what he said but Phil didn’t seem to notice. “Whatever. There’s one a few miles from here, let me pull up directions on my phone.”

They found their way to a semi light park that seemed to be void of people, which Dan was thankful for. Wondering around a bit, they found that there was nowhere to sit. They also soon discovered that the grass was wet when Phil sat down and came back up with a wet butt. So they decided to sit of the hood of Phil’s car. Dan felt safer that way too; they could just get up and leave if the needed to.

Phil looked at Dan was a playful grin.

“Truth or dare?”

“More like ‘who do you like or perform an awkward sexual act,’” Dan sarcastically retorted.

Phil raised his eyebrows and Dan got the message.

“Fine. Truth.”

Phil seemed satisfied that he got Dan to play along, but soon realized that he didn’t have a question for Dan. It should have been easy because he didn’t know anything about the boy, but that only made it harder. He didn’t even know where to begin.

Trying to be cheeky, Phil asked “who do you like?” with a wink.

Dan rolled his eyes at the use of his own words against him.

“Or would you rather do an awkward sexual act? I mean, either work.” Phil’s tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth again. Dan wondered if it was a habit and he hopped so, because it was damn adorable.

“Come on, ask me a real question. You don’t know anything about me so there’s a whole world of questions.” Dan leaned over and slightly bumped shoulders with Phil, trying to tease him about his lack of creativity.

“Rude.” Phil retorted. “Um, tell me about yourself then.” Realizing that wasn’t a question, Phil reworded what he said. “I mean, what are three things about yourself that you want me to know? Or anyone in general I guess. A friend. Someone you just met but want to be close to. So like three secrets that you don’t want hidden? Feel free to stop me anytime, I am just blabbering now and it will probably happen a lot..” The words turned into laughter by the end.

Phil was looking at the ground while trying to form too many thoughts and too many words. Dan looked over at him and stared. Phil is beautiful. He's so much more than attractive or hot or sexy. He's absolutely gorgeous. Dan caught himself smiling at the way Phil’s eyes lit up when he spoke. The blue seemed to glow in the night light and Phil’s awkward gaze at the ground only made it better.

“I would rather listen to you go on. It’s quite entertaining,” Dan said after Phil stopped talking and looked back up.

“Three things about myself,” Dan quietly mumbled. Should I go deep, basic, or funny? One of each. That works, right? “Well, I once peed my pants in first grade and I still have nightmares about it; I am very pastel as you can tell, but I have a secret punk side that only comes out when my favorite bands come to town;” Dan’s voice got quite as he switched his gaze from the clouds to the ground and continued, “and I’m gay.”

He knew that he had to tell Phil. It was a part of who he was. His identity. Dan could only wish that Phil would be okay with it.

Before Phil got a chance to say anything, Dan asked him truth or dare. He was too afraid of losing whatever might be there because of something like that. He would rather have Phil not answer then risk having that answer be full of hate.

In between his self-loathing thoughts, Dan heard Phil say truth. He looked over and saw a true smile on Phil’s face, causing Dan to blush.

“Which tattoo is your favorite and why?” They kept each other’s eyes until Phil finally broke it to look at his body. He inspected his arms and his hands before smiling and raising his shirt, exposing his chest.

“This one,” he said pointing to an anatomically correct heart over his own heart. Dan was awkwardly staring at Phil’s naked chest while Phil pointed to his heart. Damn, he shaves? His chest is perfectly hairless.

Phil made eye contact with the ground and was fiddling with his fingers.

“My cousin, who I used to be very close with, was born with a weak heart. He lived his life relatively normal, minus a lot of exercises, but we all knew he had a short life expectancy. They said he would live to be about twelve and on his twelfth birthday, he was moved to the top of the heart transplant list and within two weeks would be able to get a new heart. It was a miracle. It happened right when he would be entering his deathbed. The doctors said that with the surgery, he should be able to live until at least twenty five.

“But that night, the night of his twelfth birthday, he fell asleep and never woke up.” Phil looked up and Dan could see the tears in his eyes, but he still had a smile on his face. “A little girl got moved up on the list and she is still alive today. I was fourteen at the time. This, this is for him. I will never forget.”

Dan was a very sympathetic person and felt pins in the back of his eyes, telling him that he was about to cry. Feeling a tear run down his face, he leaned his head against Phil and wrapped an arm around his waist. In a totally supportive and platonic way. Phil laid his head on top of Dan’s and they both sat there for a few minutes.

“Well, that got sad quickly. While the mood is down, have any depressing things to say?” Phil said without moving his head.

“Hm,” Dan said in acknowledgement. He thought for a moment before deciding to say it. “My dad is dead. He died a few years ago in a car crash.” He didn’t say anything else and Phil didn’t push. They just stayed still laying on each other, soaking up the comfort, and silently letting tears fall. Phil’s hand found its way into Dan’s but neither boy were complaining.

After what felt like hours but was probably closer to ten minutes, Dan finally spoke up. He was afraid that Phil might think this was too gay and hate him, so he didn’t want it to go past platonic support.

“Truth or dare.” Dan lifted his head up, but was still leaning against Phil.

Phil laughed at Dan’s attempt to bring the mood back up and played along.

“Dare,” Phil said, looking Dan in the eyes as if he just gave the other boy a challenge.

“Oh, dare you say. You will regret that decision.” Dan looked around, trying to find the most horrible thing to do but this park was rather empty and sad, only having a small play area for children. “I dare you to go down the slide head first on your back.” Dan knew that it was lame but he couldn’t really think of anything else. He might turn to google after this if Phil doesn’t think that’s too lame.

Phil gave Dan a confused look.

“That’s your idea of horrible. You are so lame man. Like seriously.”

Phil got off the hood of the car and started to walk over but when noticed Dan wasn’t following him, he walked back, grabbed his hand, and told him that he has to come too.
They walked over to the play equipment in the middle of the park, but Dan was no longer nervous or afraid of what lurks in the dark and he realized that it might have been because the fact that Phil’s hand was still secured around his own.

Fuck. I can’t be thinking like this...

They reached the playset and Dan’s hand felt cold when Phil let go of it. He felt like he was missing something and became a little sadder at the loss of the new guy’s hand.
Phil jumped up onto the black perforated structure, skipping the stairs entirely, and walked over to the tallest slide. It was yellow and one of those ones that have three paths, all with different bumps on them. Dan stayed on the ground and walked to where the end of the slide was. Phil laid down on the far right one so he was staring at the stars and slid down, but didn’t get off the slide.

“This is surprisingly comfortable and the sky is so beautiful tonight. Come lay next to me.”

Dan giggled at Phil’s whinny command and got onto the slide in the middle, right next to Phil.

“I no longer have any blood in my feet and my brain is swimming in it. How exactly is this comfortable?” Dan complained.

“Oh come on. Look at the stars. They are just lounging up there, twinkling, not having a care in the world. It’s truly amazing.”

Dan let out a sigh and looked up. It was a rather clear night and the stars were dancing around the sky. He was lost in thought when he heard humming coming from next to him. He looked over and saw that Phil was zoned out, staring at the stars, and humming a song that Dan didn’t recognize.

Dan was entranced by Phil. He seemed like he should be so hard and cold, with gauged ears, tattoos, and piercings, but he was actually a super sweet and insightful softie. He didn’t even swear outside of his songs.

The humming slowly turned into soft quite singing and Dan refused to look away. A smile grew on his face that made his eyes get all squinty, but he couldn’t care less.

“Calling out your name,

while you call out mine.

sweet kisses shared.

You’re looking so fine.

And I just want to love you all night,

all night.”

Dan just watched in awe as he heard the lyrics sung so beautifully. He now recognized the song, it was one of Phil’s more popular ones, but normally that part sounds so harsh and is screamed, not sung. It sounded so beautiful when it was like that.

“Now that I can actually understand the words, that song is pretty vulgar. Like seriously. ‘Calling out your name while you call out mine?’ That’s just wrong.” Dan criticized.
Phil turned his head so he was inches away from Dan.

“It has to be. I mean, I would love to sing sappy happy fluffy songs, but that’s not what my band is. I don’t really like it either though. Some of the songs are okay, but I am forced to sing really gross songs and the main people who listen to them are preteen and teenage girls. And that’s just..” Phil shuddered at the thoughts of all the young girls listening to him sing about sex, then gave Dan a half smile.

He didn’t know why he was opening up like this but he felt like he could tell Dan anything. He trusted Dan in a way that he had never trusted anyone before. It felt kind of nice to have someone like that, even if he did have to leave the next morning.

“Ew. I never thought of that before. That must be gross, knowing that people so young are listening to your songs.”

They were still looking in each other’s eyes and neither had the intention of looking away anytime soon. Phil noticed how Dan’s eyes weren’t just brown, they had gold flakes and a ring of yellow. They were incredibly beautiful and Phil would never get bored staring into them.

Dan slowly leaned forward without realizing it as Phil did the same. They both knew what was about to happen but at the same time they were completely oblivious. They were centimeters apart and Dan could feel Phil’s warm breath heating up his cold face. He looked like he had a dragon’s breath because it was so cold outside.

He closed his eyes and leaned in more, slowly becoming aware of the situation. Phil did the same and their lips met in a sweet and unsure kiss. They stayed like that for a few moments, almost too scared to move. It was a bit awkward but they didn’t seem to care. Their lips just sat their gently touching each other’s before Phil pulled away just enough to look into Dan’s eyes, their noses and foreheads resting against the other, giving some warmth on this cold autumn night.

“Dan, I have to tell you something.” Phil whispered, as if talking any louder would shatter their small little world.

Dan just looked at Phil with a sparkle in his eyes and he continued.

“Dan, I’m gay too.”

Dan was attacked by laughter before he could stop himself. It only lasted a few seconds before he got control over himself again and looked back at Phil’s horrified face.
“Well I fucking hoped you were something after tonight.” Dan said, trying not to laugh more.

Phil playfully hit himself on the shoulder and sat up, simultaneously deciding to walk back to the car because it was cold as fuck outside. Hand in hand, they found their way to the car.

Chapter Text

“You can’t just go now. We’ve hardly started the night!” Phil said, trying to convince Dan again that it was too early to drop him off at home.

“Phil, it’s three AM. Aren’t you tired at all?” Dan replied with only a mildly different answer from the what felt like thousands of others he had given that night.

“Tired? Me? Clearly we have to get to know each other enough for you to know that I never get tired”.

“And now I know. And I also know that I am.” He just had to say it. This was fun but he was just so fucking exhausted.

“Oh come on! I only get to be here for a day, so we might as well make the most of it.” Phil uttered. He needed to convince Dan. It was rare that he found a boy that he liked. Heck, it was rare that he found a boy who liked him. And if he only had a few hours left with somebody who he actually liked, then he was damn well going to make the most of it.

“When do you leave?” Dan asked, suddenly remembering that he was with a fucking celebrity who was leaving and oh god he’d never see him again.

“Tomorrow, eight AM”.

There was a moment of silence.

Under the night’s harsh lighting, and in the somewhat-comforting heat of the car, Dan couldn’t help but wonder to himself how in heaven’s name he was here with such a big name, with such a pretty face, and feelings for him. At least he hoped he actually had feelings for him. Maybe it was his inner teenage girl who wanted him to like him back, or maybe it was actually Dan. But either way, the other boy seemed to feel the same. And Dan really wanted to go out and spend more time with him.

“Fine, I’ll do it” He finally replied.

“Alright! Now, you know the city. Where’s the best place that we can go to have fun at three in the morning?”

At this, Dan thought to himself. Sure, he had stayed out until dawn with his friends before, but they were usually camping or sitting at home after a night of fun, not going to places where late was early and early wasn’t even late yet. Maybe he could propose the abandoned gift shop just out of the city limits? Or his friend Harry’s house? He was sure to be awake smoking a joint with somebody. Or maybe…

“That depends. You hungry?”
______

“Welcome to the finest early morning bakery in the city,” Dan exclaimed as the two boys entered The Pie Hole Bakery, the only non fast-food restaurant open at three AM.

“Smells like pure sugar,” Phil replied, sniffing the air and staring blankly at the menu.

“What do you want? A cupcake? A cookie? A life?” Dan chuckled pathetically at his own joke.

“Excuse me but I have a great life, thank you very much,” Phil replied, “I’ll tell you what. If you surprise me with something that I actually like, I’ll pay for you.”

“You, sir, have got yourself a deal,” Dan laughed, taking it as a legitimate challenge.

As Phil went and sat down at a table by the window while Dan went and ordered for them both, he felt really lucky. Here he was, with a guy who liked him back, in a bakery where he didn’t seem to be recognized at all, just having a good time. He really did live for moments like these, where he could take back time and go back to being the easier, nicer version of himself. When he first blew up at the age of seventeen, he was molded into himself, but he still had his old self at heart. Although he was punk-y and loved tattoos, he was softer than magazines made him out to be. And now, in a bakery he never thought he would end up in, he could relax and be that softer version of himself for a bit. Finally.

“Are you ready… for the best. Croissant. Ever?” Dan said in the best announcer voice that he could make up as he sat down across from Phil.

Startled by the sudden voice, Phil turned his head to face Dan while shifting his elbow and accidentally knocking the plate that Dan was setting in front of him off the table. Luckily, Dan was still holding the plate and managed to save it from tumbling to the ground.

“Phil! I could’ve dropped your croissant!” Dan said, not really faking the high-pitched annoyed tone in his voice.

“Sorry! You just startled me...I guess”.

“Sure. Anyways, give this a try,”

Phil looked at the seemingly normal croissant for a moment before hesitantly taking a bite. As his face contorted into a confused but decent one, Dan let out a contagious laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Phil exclaimed, laughing along with a bit of berry-filled croissant in his mouth.

“Your face,” Dan replied. He wasn’t sure if it was a late-night hallucination or if Phil’s face could actually look so weird, but either way it was funny as fuck.

“Hey! My face is gorgeous and you know it!” the other boy joked along.

Phil laughed with him for a moment before realising that Dan was in full-on hysterics and was not coming out of it any time soon.

Eventually though, and to Phil’s relief, the other boy calmed down and they returned to banter.

“So, Mr. Famous, what’s it like to be a true pop-sensation,” Dan joked not-so-seriously as he bit into his own vanilla cupcake.

“Hmmm… Well I have to admit that it’s fun, touring and making music, so that’s pretty cool. And the fans are nice to meet. But I have to say, it’s pretty exhausting.”

“Oh really? Why?”

“You just have to be acting all the time. Like not totally different from yourself, but a more energetic version of that,” he started, “And you can go out and stuff, but there’s always some teenage girl who knows your name and is willing to chase you to the ends of the earth- or the grocery store- just to get a picture with you. I love it, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I want to be tired and grumpy and not have to put on a smile for a kid to go and brag to her friends at school the next day”.

“Wow, that sounds harsh. I can’t imagine not being able to go out without pretending to be myself,” Dan replied. He never really thought of fame that way…

“Yeah. I swear I could win an oscar for the amount of acting I do every day”.

“Better than Johnny Depp,” Dan giggled to himself.

“Probably,” Phil smiled.

There was a moment of silence where the two boys just looked into each other's eyes, unaware of the world around them, unknowing of what to do next. No wonder everybody loves him, Dan thought to himself, He’s angelic.

Phil leaned in subconsciously as did Dan, and reality and the world melted away as their lips met. The kiss was still soft careful, but also more certain than their last. And as their lips moved in harmony, it seemed like nothing in the world could break such a moment of bliss.

Until Phil realised that they were in front of a window and there was still the risk that somebody could see them, that is.

He pulled away, suddenly aware of the risk that was. Not in public, he reminded himself as he tried to straighten his back and himself on the uncomfortable chair.

“Right,” he mumbled without looking up at Dan’s concerned face.

“Are you okay?” Dan asked, sympathetically confused.

“Yeah just… wanna head out? I’ve got a hotel room downtown if you don’t want to wake your parents,” Phil asked, feeling a strong need to get out of the restaurant as soon as possible.

“Oh yeah um...We can go back to yours if you want” Dan said as they both got up to go to the car.

“Hotel it is then,” Phil stated as they exited the bakery. He most definitely did not want this night to end. Not after how it had been going so far.

As they left, Dan (being the snarky little devil he is) remembered to say, “By the way, you owe me ten quid”.

Chapter Text

A wig. Phil, even though he knew nobody sane would be up this early and see them together, made Dan wear a fucking wig just to enter his hotel room.

Dan wasn’t necessarily angry at this, considering the fact that he was already very feminine, but having to disguise himself didn’t exactly please him. There were few things that Dan had to cling to his masculinity, and his hair (although it was longer than the average guy’s) was one of them. And now it was stuffed in a long red-ish wig. Not cool.

But nonetheless, he was okay with playing along in Phil’s act to distract the public from what was really happening, if only for a second. Only for a second, Dan repeated to himself as they entered the hotel and made their way to Phil’s hotel room.

“Stay out here for just a minute?” Phil asked quietly before opening the door to his suite.

“Why? Do you need to make the bed? I’m a teenager Phil, you don’t need to impress me,” Dan replied, clearly content with his humour.

“Just hold on a second,” Phil said as he entered as quickly as possible.

There was a lot of noise for a moment as Phil tried his best to put together all that was in the fridge into some sort of snack plate. Dan waited outside the door wondering what the hell could possibly be going on in there. Phil couldn’t be cleaning the place, could he? Surely not after housekeeping had gone through. And there was nothing else to be doing, was there?

Dan knocked on the door impatiently, making Phil half-hurry into making the crackers and leftover pizza pretty enough to make him look like the romantic he secretly was and fully hurry to open the door as soon as he was done. After all, there was nothing about what he wanted to do tonight that made him want to wait.

“Fucking finally. This wig kills,” Dan stated as he walked into the suite, immediately throwing the ginger hair onto the table by the door. “What took you so long anyways?”

“Oh, you know, just getting some food out for the guest,” The other boy said, gesturing to the cheese and crackers scattered on a plate next to a half-empty pizza box.

“Wow, impressive,” Dan joked sarcastically.

“Why thank you,” Phil played along in a mock posh accent, “anything for the princess”.

Dan laughed at this, “Phil, I am probably the exact opposite of a princess”.

“I don’t know. You dress like one, you act like one. And I’m sure that with some minor convincing you could be screaming Dadd-”

“No!” Dan flushed, “Not yet anyways…”

“Are my ears deceiving me or did I just uncover Daniel Howell’s secret kink?”

“Definitely not.”

Phil stared at him for a moment, arms crossed, unconvinced.

“Okay maybe not,” Dan said, to Phil’s amusement.

“Either way, I’m treating you like a princess. And speaking of treat, would you like some wine?”

“Of course I do.”

“Alright. It’s red Jacob’s Creek if you were wondering,” Phil stated as he walked to the bar to get out two glasses and pour some of the liquid courage into each.

“I honestly couldn’t care less unless it tasted like vomit.”

“It won’t, and that’s a promise,” Phil chuckled.

“So what do you want to do, other than sit around and eat snacks until sunrise,” Dan said as he sat on the couch and stared out the window at the city. He’d never seen it from this high up at night, and it was absolutely stunning.

“Well, my buddy just gave me a little game of Cards Against Humanity if you’re into that,” Phil offered as he handed Dan his glass of wine.

“Drinking and being offensive? Of course I’m up for that,” Dan smiled, taking his glass of wine gratefully.

As Phil set his glass of wine down and got up to search through his suitcase for the box, Dan stared out at the open night’s sky. They were on the 19th floor, and Dan had never been up that high at night before, so the view to him was about as new as it was to Phil. And it was absolutely stunning. Buildings flooded the ground with their lights with promises of comfort or luxury or money. There were hardly any cars on the roads due to the time, and only a few people shamefully walking home from their nights of drunken sex and yelling to get a point across. Suddenly it felt as if, from the ground, their issues were mountains waiting to be climbed, but from up there every problem in the world was so tiny a bumblebee could crush it.

Dan gave a small giggle at his sudden late-night metaphors and Phil sat down with a small red box in hand.

“Alright, let’s be offensive,” Phil spoke, turning Dan’s train of thought around to focus on the boy he was with.

“Crabs Adjust Humidity?” Dan read the box as the other boy started dealing cards.

“Yeah, it’s like a travel version I think. Or an expansion. You know how to play, right?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Sane people,” Phil joked, laying out the cards on the sofa. “But anyways, pick your cards, any cards”.

Dan proceeded to take from the deck as Phil chose his own cards and took another large sip from his glass of wine, getting only the slightest bit tipsy, but still enough to pass off any mistakes as drunken thoughts. They had just started playing when Phil came up with an idea.

“Okay. Just a thought, but , what if we make a bet,” he offered the younger boy, taking another sip of his wine.

“What kind of bet?”

“The kind where whoever wins gets to choose what we do after this.”

“Okay, I’m listening,” Dan looked at Phil, expecting just a bit more elaboration. After a few moments of them both thinking, he knew exactly what he had wanted. “How about... If I win, you’ll have to take me wherever I want to go in the world.”

“Hmmm…” Phil thought for a moment as he fiddled with the edge of a card, “And if I win, I get to do whatever I want to you.”

Dan paused for a moment, struck by the words in which he knew the exact meaning, even if it wasn’t really said. He would have to have sex. With Phil. With a person he had just met. And in the wierdest way to him, he honestly wanted to do it.

“I don’t usually have sex on the first date,” he confessed. It’s true that Dan slept around a bit, but he usually had one rule: not just after meeting somebody. Maybe he would just have to make an exception.

After a few awkward seconds of Phil wondering if he could take back his words and Dan realising that whatever situation this was, he loved it, Phil leaned in, centimeters from Dan’s face.

“Then win.” he said in a voice that was nearly a whisper.

“We have a deal, then,” Dan replied, making almost daring eye contact with the man in front of him before pulling away and looking to his cards to continue the game.

The rounds continued, no more provocative than before but filled with more ironic winking from Dan and fits of giggles from both of the men who knew that ‘Plowing that ass like a New England corn farmer’ could most definitely be another one of their early-morning activities. For a while, it almost seemed like Dan was going to win and be taken to God knows where, until Phil got ‘I’m not like the rest of you. I’m too rich and busy for the miracle of childbirth ’ and their scores tied.

Phil let out a laugh of victory.

“9 to 9! Now all I have to do is get one more and I win!”

“Oh, not so fast. I’m a natural at this game, clearly I’ll win over some pretty superstar,” Dan teased, getting borderline too close to Phil’s face as he spoke.

“We’ll see about that, you camel ass!”

“What the fuck is a camel ass?”

“You, clearly.”

Phil reached for the next card at the top of the pile and read it out loud: “Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore blank at their own pace.”

Both boys stared at their cards briefly, before deciding on their cards and saying “got it.”

“Okay are you ready for this?” Dan said, clearly chuckling on what he had on his card.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Okay okay, so. “Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore driving into a tornado to learn about tornadoes at their own pace,” he said, giggling throughout his whole sentence.

“Hmm… A fair challenge, but I think that mine is much better,” Phil laughed with him.

“Then what are you waiting for? Say it already!”

Phil tried to compose himself, returning to his mock-posh accent and posture that made Dan laugh just a tad harder.

“Here at the Academy for Gifted Children,” he started, sounding like he could actually be the headmaster of a preppy private school, “we allow students to explore being white at their own pace.”

Dan stared at Phil for a moment, feeling tragically defeated by the probably too offensive statement but also cracking up because it was funnier than his could ever aspire to be.

“So I guess I win then,” Phil said, basing the assumption off of Dan’s tipsy fit of laughter and his own opinion of which card is funnier.

“Sadly, yes.”

“What do you mean sadly? You don’t look too upset.”

“Okay maybe not,” Dan said, gathering the cards in a pile and moving them onto the coffee table so that he could move closer to Phil.

“Besides, in what universe is my victory a bad thing?” Phil asked, shifting towards Dan.

“None, really. So now that you have me, what do you think you’re going to do?”

Phil though for a moment, before grabbing brunette’s hips and pulling him into his lap.

“I don’t know. How about… This!” He exclaimed as he started to tickle Dan’s stomach, attacking him so much that he sat up and tried to move away. This new position, however, only allowed Phil more access to his neck and back, making Dan cry out  with laughter as he most definitely couldn’t be touched there without bursting into laughter or slapping somebody’s hand away. In this case, he tried to do both.

“Ph-phil! S-stop it!” He laughed, lying down on his back to prevent Phil from touching his neck and letting Phil fall forwards to lay between his legs.

“Never!” Phil Stated as he continued to tickle Dan’s stomach and sides until Dan started kicking him away. “Okay fine, I’ll stop!”

“Finally! And who gave you the right to tickle me?”

“You said I could do whatever I wanted.”

“I thought that meant you fucking me into an alternate dimension, not tickling me like a child.”

“Well as much as I like this, the other option could be arranged,” Phil said with a smirk, resting his head on Dan’s stomach.

“So is this where we start then? You between my legs on a high of cheap wine?”

“Sadly, no,” Phil said, shimmying down to leave a brief kiss to Dan’s lower stomach before getting up and taking both of their wine glasses to the mini-kitchen.

“Hey! You can’t just leave me here!” Dan said from the other side of the wall.

“I can do a lot of things, Danny. And this is probably the best one,” Phil replied as he set the glasses on the countertop and looked out the  massive window at the city, wondering what to do with the boy.

Suddenly, he had an idea. He ran to the bedroom, rummaging through his belongings before grabbing exactly what he needed and heading back to the kitchen. After placing the materials in the cabinet, he went back to the living room to get Dan, who seemed to be staring longingly out the window at the darkened world. With what Phil had planned, his thoughts could continue later. After all, he needed to get one last activity out of the way before tying the time to a close.

Chapter Text

Generally speaking, Dan had a fairly active sex life. Sure, you could say that he slept around a bit, but for him, it was good. He did, however, have one rule to regulate his habit: not after first meeting somebody. He could do every “straight” boy he knew, any new kid or old friend and believe himself when he said “it’s just physical pleasure”, but he wouldn’t have sex until after the first meeting. But, like the ancient teenage rebels said, rules are made to be broken. Even by the original writer. Dan never was one to understand that saying, although he did try.

It wasn’t until Phil had him pinned up against the kitchen window, that is, that he finally believed the saying to be true.

It all happened quickly, in a sweet-but-rough broken way of getting the orgasm that most people desire by the age of thirteen. Dan got up to see what the fuss was in the kitchen, finding Phil shirtless focusing on something on the countertop. Dan admired the sight at first, staring at the curve of Phil’s somehow spotless back, but then he thought about what those hands were doing and what they could be doing to him , and he couldn’t fight the urge to walk up behind the older and immediately start attacking his neck. In a state of surprise, Phil dropped whatever he was doing and spun around.

“Why so fast?” He asked, now pinned between Dan and the countertop. Dan didn’t respond, instead moving to Phil’s lips, asking for more with the only language he could remember because, fuck, he wanted this.

Then Phil flipped their position so that he was pinning Dan to the countertop and Dan didn’t know how it was possible to want this more. He quickly removed his shirt as Phil reached behind him to get something from the cupboard and Dan was absolutely beside himself about what was happening, how it could escalate as fast as a cliff, but it sure as hell did and he sure as hell was loving it.

He was loving it throughout the whole thing, from being bent over the countertop and finger fucked to being pinned against a window overlooking the city with a sunrise lighting up his face to make him look like an angel and wow , Phil was amazed, too. He was loving it even as they finished their high and Phil went to shower, leaving him on the bed to ponder about exactly what was going on under the soft light of a morning sun and the beautiful whine of an awakening city in the hours that fall like arrows.

In Dan’s little universe of a brain, this was honestly heaven. Sure, there was a more perfect world out there where the afterglow was a lot more glow-y and a lot less tired, but compared to days that didn’t start with sex, this was amazing. If only the man to share it with didn’t have to leave at eight.

Knock knock knock!

Dan rolled off of the bed, in a minor state of confusion at who could possibly be knocking on the door at this hour.

“Open the door! It’s just Jacob!”

Dan stood, covering himself with a blanket, to look through the peep-hole on the door of the suite. There stood a fairly tall man (without a doubt taller than Dan) in black jeans and a t-shirt with hair as brown as Dan’s but straighter than he could ever be. He looked familiar, probably a member of the band or something. Either way, Dan was in no state to meet him.

“Come on, Phil. I know you’re in there! Just open the goddamn door!” Said the lad-like voice.

“Hold on, I just need to put some clothes on!” Dan yelled in the best northern accent he could muster.

Dan then ran to the bathroom, practically knocking down the door as he scrambled to get in and tell Phil about the person outside the room . Dan opened the shower curtain and Phil shrieked, thinking briefly that Dan was a shadow monster or something trying to kill him for facing the water as he showered. Thankfully, he soon realized who it was with a sigh and asked Dan why the fuck he was interrupting his shower. Dan panted as he explained everything, shaking his head at himself for being s painfully out of shape.

“Jesus Christ, really?” Phil more-than-asked as he draped his lower half in a towel and shoved his way past Dan, making an incoherent phrase involving a word that sounded like “hide” and “shower”. Dan figured that he must mean to hide in the shower, under the running water, to make it seem like he was caught getting ready and that he forgot to turn off the water, so he did. The warm water made Dan feel like boiled broccoli for a moment, but it soon felt nicer on Dan’s skin. He couldn’t make out much of a conversation of the sound of water in his ears and the layer of wall that separated the two, but Dan could tell how long they were talking, and it seemed like a lot more than just a wake up call from a friend. Like he was going to be in there a while.

“Why’s the shower on?” Jacob asked as he sat down on the sofa.

“Well you caught me off-guard, clearly. I missed turning it off,” Phil lied, gesturing to the towel covering his lower half.

“Are you gonna turn it off then? Help the environment a little?” Jacob asked in a joking tone. It really wasn’t anything like Jake to be concerned about the environment, with his obvious enjoyment of substances and litter that Phil had tried to get him to stop doing but, hell, it was Jacob. Nothing could stop that boy from causing harm to something .

“Oh- uh- yeah, of course,” Phil started towards the bathroom.

“And put some clothes on while you’re in there!” Jake ordered loudly, “Don’t want your dick hagnin’ out for too long!”

Phil walked into the bathroom, immediately shutting the door and telling Dan as quietly as he could that, as long as he stayed quiet, this would just be the most laddy thing Dan could ever dream of hearing. He found some clothes from the other day on the floor and put them on, not really caring if they smelled like sweat and booze and the “rock star life” (although, let’s face it, he was only a pop star), then went back to finish his conversation with Jacob.

The thing with the pair is that, even though sometimes they would be a bit much, they were the best of friends. They had known each other since year four and had been inseparable since that one fateful day on the playground when Jake tripped in football and Phil was the only one with the decency to help him get back up. After that it was pretending to have a band, then being in orchestra together on the sax, then starting their own band with their other friends and making their way to  the top, together . That’s all they had ever been, really. Everything they knew had happened together. Every memory involved the other in some way, and so everything was perfect when they were together. They knew each other  inside and out. They could direct their lives like a movie. And, to be honest, it was the best thing in the world to Phil. Being dumb, together .

But anyways.

Phil went back out after having turned off the shower and talked more with Jacob as he packed some of his things. He was still pretty relaxed about timing though, as he had an hour before he had to get on the bus to start the France leg of the tour. It was amazing, going around with your friends, seeing the world. Exactly how he liked it.

They talked for a while, about life and girls and projects, and Phil got so caught up in the discussion he didn’t think twice when showing Jacob to the bathroom.                                        

In fact, the only time where he did think twice was when he heard two screams coming from the bathroom.

Phil ran in, opening the door only to find a towel-covered Dan in the bathtub and a horrified Jacob, whose expression was both unreadable and also completely certain.

“Shit- um- I-I can explain!” Phil said in defense, positioning himself between Dan and Jake.

“Explain what? A twink in your bathtub? We talked about this, Phil, you can’t do this to us!” Jacob yelled back, clearly unamused.

“Do this to what?” Dan mumbled to himself, worried that he’d been too much of a lover to know if he was just a mistress.

“Us?” Phil replied, “Jake, the only one I’m hurting is me, and I’m fine with that. It’s just a secret to keep.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! Phil, you can’t be doing this. Not on tour. Not with boys. I’m sorry, but if your secret gets out and the world finds out you’re doing this, then what happens? You can’t just fuck random twinks, Phil. It’s immoral, it’s wrong !”

“It’s not wrong,” Phil replied, “It’s me. You know me, I can keep secrets! And he is by no means just a ‘random twink’. He’s a person, not just sex.”

“Sure, yeah, ‘not just sex’. How many others have their been, Phil? Five? Ten? One for every stop we-”

“None! He’s the only one, I swear to God,” Phil interrupted.

“It doesn’t even matter. I told you. We agreed . I know who you are, and I’ll live with that. But risking the band, our band ? We can’t do that, Phil.”

“I’m sorry, but we were being safe. The wig and everything, like we agreed.”

“We agreed on not having sex on tour. Even if they wear a stupid fucking wig.”

“Jacob, please-”

“I have to go pack,” Jacob stated as he shoved his way past Phil and out of the hotel room.

He would never tell, Phil knew that, but he was also one to hold a grudge. And to add to that, Phil was guilty. He had broken one of their most important promises: No risky relations. But it wasn’t exactly risky, was it? Phil couldn’t tell what the definition of risky was anymore. He just knew that he hurt Jake and would have to pay the price until he could cut it off with Dan. But here’s the thing: he didn’t want to cut it off with Dan. He wasn’t one to kiss and push away either, and he had a feeling that he should keep this boy around for a little while. Maybe this could be something special.

Phil bent down and reached for Dan’s hand, helping him out of the bathtub. “I’m sorry for that,” Phil apologised, “We just have this agreement that I guess I messed up on a bit and-”

“It’s okay, Phil.”

“Really?” he replied, confused as heck would allow.

“Yes I get it. Now go get packed, you have to leave in, like, half an hour and you’re hardly finished stuffing things into your suitcase yet.”

And with that, Phil continued with packing, leaving Dan to wonder what the hell just happened. Am I really just another twink he’s fucked? Dan thought to himself, strongly willing that that wasn’t the case. It couldn’t be, right?

Chapter Text

“Come with me,” Phil proposed, sitting in the rental he still had to drop off.

After the dispute with Jake, Phil had finished packing and drove Dan home, giving him a pair of his own clothes with the hopes of avoiding the whole ‘night after’ effect the world had in store for them. He also managed to ignore the wig in hopes that Dan wouldn’t put up a fuss about it. He didn’t seem to mind the “Morat” baseball tee and plain, black jeans that had been picked out for him, but the older was sure that anything else would have Dan teetering on the edge.

“Are you out of your mind?” Dan replied, almost taken aback by the sudden words. He had expected for this to just be a one night thing after what Jacob had said. Phil would drop him off, they would pretend this never happened until Dan saw his friends and confessed his life away while the older moved on and never thought of him again. The thought stung a little, but that was how he assumed that this would happen.

“Probably, but I think that you coming could still be reasonable.”

Apparently, Dan was wrong.

“I have to go to church. And to work.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie. Dan’s mother was never one to skip out on church, and he did have a job at a summer camp that he would have to be at the next day. It’s just that Dan’s mum never really forced him to go (although she did try to convince him), and he could just say that he was sick or on a last minute holiday. No, Dan thought to himself, that doesn’t mean you can go with him.

“Do you really wanna go to church after that ?” He had a point, but he seemed to be missing the big one.

“Maybe not, but I still have to do stuff!”

“Then postpone it. You get one chance in your life to do this. So do it. ”

Dan thought for a moment. Sure, he could excuse himself from his tasks to go out with Phil, but he also had no clue where he was going and no clue of how to explain his disappearance to his mum. Maybe she would understand, though. Yeah.

“You’ve got me for the week, and that’s it Lester,” Dan decided. A week. Nothing bad could possibly happen in a week, right?

Right.

Chapter Text

From the outside, busses don’t usually seem that big, and certainly not big enough to house five (six, now) people. And on the inside, that presumption is 100% correct. But does that stop musicians from stuffing busses with their entire lives? Absolutely not. Dan learned this the hard way. And so, yeah, he realised that this wasn’t going to be the best of living, but he figured that he wouldn’t spend too much time with everybody on the bus unless they were sleeping, or driving, so he decided to stay. And thank God for the fact that the bus had wifi.

Getting the entire team to agree with him coming along was not, per say, easy. At all. It took a hell of a lot of convincing from Phil to get them to let 'Phil’s old family friend who moved to London when they were twelve' tag along for the week, but he managed within an hour. Jake wasn’t convinced at all of their lie, but he let it slide. At the very least he would talk about it in private with Phil later. Dan’s mom, on the other hand, had been just a bit harder to get to allow Dan to go off and live with several strangers for more that a few hours. For the first time in Dan’s entire life, he was almost thankful for having been forced onto the debate team in year eight. Almost.

But even through all that, Dan himself wasn’t sure if this was the best idea. There were just too many ways where this could go wrong, too many voices in his head telling him how absolutely insane he was for getting on a bus with a stranger (a stranger he likes , but still a stranger) to go to France. What if people question why I’m here? Dan thought as the bus was just starting to leave, What if they don’t want me here? To be honest, he felt like he didn’t know anything. Except for the fact that this was the most mind-boggling thing that he had ever been through and that there was no way in hell he wanted this to stop. At least not for another week.

So there he was, laying in the tiny bunk, on his phone, hoping that this would turn out fine. The bus itself was in a state that he had never expected a tour bus filled with twenty-something boys to be in. Every bed was fairly tidy, the floor was clean, and the air even smelled like lavender . The kitchen was used, yeah, but not completely gross, and the table and benches that sat across from it were in (mostly) perfect condition. In fact, the only thing messy about the place was his own bunk and the occasional pile of clothes here and there. But overall, it was not what he had expected.

He also didn’t expect how literally nobody was talking to each other at all. The only sound was the hum of the bus moving on the road, and the only thing exciting was the sights they passed on the way. Everybody was either on their phones or asleep, and suddenly Dan was feeling like he should be joining the napping club, too. Maybe it would be for the best, considering the fact that he would probably have to be up pretty late. At least, he hoped so. There was no point in following somebody to France unless you’re excited for something, and Dan just wasn’t feeling it yet. Whether the reality just hadn’t sunk in or he was just too tired to bother, he wasn’t sure. I’ll sleep on it , he decided, tucking himself under the covers and putting his headphones in. He was probably just too tired, yeah.

Phil, on the other hand, was so confused about what kind of out-of-body experience it took for him to not only invite this kid over to his hotel room, but to invite him to bloody France . Every time his mind wandered from the Seven Deadly Sins episode to the subject at hand, he thought of himself as an idiot. This would be awkward and boring and there was no way that the younger boy could enjoy himself around a punk band. He might even want to go home. But then every time he looked over at Dan something in his stomach dropped and all he could do was want. All of a sudden he knew exactly why he did this, what he wanted to do. He just hoped that the night before wasn’t an act and that he actually was that sarcastic idiot that he had spent the night with. Hope. Maybe that’s what it would take for them to do this.

So yeah, the reality of the situation wasn’t as good as either of them had planned, but so what? The night before they had gotten to know each other, they had fun. There would be more of that, the each hoped, and less of a lousy time caused by a poor last minute decision on each of their parts. They could make this interesting. If there was one thing the two could do separately, it was have a good time, ruin it, then apologise and have a good time again. Together, who knew what that power could turn into. It could be miraculous or disastrous, and all they had to do to find out was get past the awkward phase of this. While Dan was waiting for a sign for that to happen, Phil was ready to make it. Whether it meant rushing into things or not.

........

Dan awoke to two things: the sudden stopping of a bus and a very prominent need to piss. Oh, and the sudden feeling of pain when he sat up and slammed his head into the roof. That too.

“Fuck,” Dan swore to himself, grabbing the top of his head and blinking due to the brightness surrounding him. “Wait, where the-”

“Isn’t it rude to swear, princess?” Another one of Phil’s friends was standing in the kitchen, his dark frame leaning against the countertop and holding a bowl of pasta. Jesse, Dan  remembered his name to be. Either that or Jeremy, John, Joshua, Jam- “Relax, I won’t hurt you. Want some noodles?” He asked, breaking Dan’s train of thought and making him realize just how confused he actually was.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Dan managed.

The outside world was fairly dark now, leaving the bus set in a yellowish glow cast by the ceiling lights. The others were still in their beds other than Jesse, leaving everything to be a mildly darker version than it was before, except now it was raining. Dan got out of bed and went to the washroom, looking at the others who were mostly now all fast asleep, including Phil, who was curled up in a ball under his covers. Pretty soft for a punk star , Dan thought as he headed towards the toilet. Seeing as it was dark out now and they were still driving, he guessed that there wouldn’t be a show tonight. Which was alright with Dan, except for the fact that he slept for eleven hours for nothing. Well, maybe not for nothing , considering the night before. Dan smirked to himself thinking about it while washing his hands and making his best effort at fixing his hair in the mirror. It was hardly worth it, though, since his hair could never be fixed no matter what he did.

When he left the bathroom, Jesse had already set out a bowl of spaghetti across from him at the booth and seemed to be captured in some show on his computer. Dan sat across from him and stared out the window as he ate, engulfing himself in a philosophy once again. This time, though, he was just wondering when the reality would actually hit him as he stared out at the open world moving in lines of missed light. Maybe he could try drawing that sometime.

“You could head to bed, you know. Nothing’s happening tonight,” Jesse offered, breaking Dan from his entrancement with the world.

“I’m not exactly tired after the power nap,” he replied, taking a bite of the plain pasta.  

“You could take a sleeping pill or something. That would help.”

“I don’t really do that stuff.” It was the truth. Dan drank sometimes, and that was it.

Okay maybe he got high every once in a while with some friends but it wasn’t often enough and he never took pills so he was good, technically. Either way, the thought of taking a pill for sleep honestly made him kind of scared because he was such a lightweight even wine could get him fairly tipsy. Maybe that explained the previous night.

He continued eating his suddenly really, really good plain noodles and let the silence be awkward when Jesse crossed to room to put his bowl in the sink and said, “So why are you actually here?”

It took a second for the words to actually register in his brain, but even when they did, he had to think for a minute about why the hell he decided to go along with this. “To be honest, I don’t really know? We had a great night yesterday and all but I’m not sure why he even asked me to come with him, or why I said yes.” Dan was looking out the window again, thinking out loud to the person who offered to listen. “Sorry, you probably didn't need to know that.”

“It’s cool. Nothing new, at least,” Jesse shrugged, leaning against the counter top.

“What to you mean?” The confusion in Dan’s eyes was not only real, but also borderline worried. Because he didn’t want to be what Jacob thought he was. He couldn't be.

“You’re just not the first person that any of us has brought. I’m surprised that you’re from Phil though. Jacob usually couldn’t stand the thought of him bringing somebody for a bit.” Dan relaxed at that, almost relieved.

“That’s good, I guess,” At least he wasn’t ‘just another twink he’s fucked’. He was more than that.

“Do you wanna hear a song?” Jesse asked, bringing the tone of the conversation up a bit.

“Sure?”

Jesse’s face lit up at that, clearly excited to share something new. He went to the back of the bus for a moment, returning wit a little book and a guitar.

“Now you see, it’s still in the works, but I think it’s good for the band if I just speed it up or something.” Jesse sat down across from danin the booth, setting the little brown notebook in front of him.

“Well get on with it, then,” Dan laughed.

“Okay, okay. Just let me-” He said, putting a kappo on the guitar, “there.”

And he started.

The thing about Dan was that, although he didn’t know much about music, he knew about words. They were the closest thing to art than art itself, and so he loved when they were changed around to make something beautiful. So when Jesse started the song with fair poetry, Dan was pretty impressed.

You can say that it’s forever for as long as you want

But you just can’t offer proof until the day that it’s gone

We used to take our chances now we bet with our luck

We’ll play a game of loss and victory until our odds run up

There’s too many snake eyes

To get through the night

And feel so alive

For a while

You used to want your life

Now it's just time

Too many bright lights

To crack a smile

Clinging onto miles

“Impressive,” He said when Jesse stopped playing, scribbling something down in his notebook.

“Thanks. I’ve been working it for a while, but it just doesn’t feel right, you know?”

“I get it. Every time I draw or anything there’s always just a little detail that feels wrong,” Dan shared.

“So you’re an artist?” He quizzed, looking down at Dan’s hands for any sign of artist-ness.

“When the time lets me be, yeah. I like to think of myself as one.”

“Nice.”

More awkward silence. This time, though, it wasn’t just Dan looking out the window, but Jesse, too.

“You know,” Dan started to break the pause, “if you write in a bridge and put in some metaphors about trades and shit, the song could be a lot better.”

Jesse thought for a moment, staring at Dan. “I like where your head’s at, kid. Any ideas as to what, though?”

“Maybe something along the lines of: When the morning breaks, will we be the same? Let me run the Jack of all trades,” Dan sang.

“Cheesy, but I like it. Maybe you should be in the band,” he joked, figuring how to replay the melody on the guitar then writing it into his book.

“Good one, but that seems more like a you thing.”

“Probably. Thanks, though.” Jesse got up to go to bed, grabbing his things and leaving Dan alone again.

“Any time,” Dan said with a smile before returning to his window philosophy time. Maybe these guys were softer than he thought in the first place, or at least a lot nicer than he anticipated. Just as long as they didn’t become  rougher or awful, Dan figured that he would be okay. Or at least he just hoped that Phil wouldn’t be rougher or awful around them. At the very least.

Chapter Text

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

I'm so sorry for not explaining anything but I need to make you guys wait until the world is done exploding for me to write another chapter. i was going to explain earlier but I deleted both drafts of my explanation so this shit should do. My bad.

In the meantime i accidentally wrote something thats kind of cool but its chaptered and if i posted it it would probably become priority but i wanna write for this but the elves in my writing brain won't shut up about disertations so i can't really do that rn but i will later. but if you want content then the new thing is pretty cool sooooooo yeah idk its a wierd writing style oops

i gotta go study

fuck me

pray for me

bye

Chapter Text

hey fuckers

so uhhhhh its been a phat year since i wrote this and oH bOY i did not expect the shit thats gone down to go down but here we are
pretty much i was looking through my drive working" and i remembered this happened and im lowkey wondering now if i should continue it because ive got a lot going on but im a depressed thot now so i could make it work
it might be different because ive changed and i dont actually like dnp anymore but if y'all are down im down 2 give it a shot u never know what'll happen and i have some more things i can put up if u rEally want

anyways thats the tea good noog

p.s
if i wrote this story higher hOw much better do you think it would be

Chapter Text

Stories like this are supposed to have happy endings, where the lovers end up together despite outer tensions and inner turmoil. They'll get in a fight towards the climax, based around one of their struggles and the one hanging on to the other, but then they learn, they forgive, and happily ever after. In an ideal version of Dan's story, he stays on the bus. Jacob continues to be a dick, and Phil starts to break under the pressure of staying in the closet, and Dan tells him it doesn't matter, so he comes out on the Ellen show and everyone is proud of him. Jacob either learns to accept it, or gets kicked out of the band. And they stay together-- maybe not forever, but they love each other for a long time, until they grow apart and find love on their own terms again.
In the real story, Dan gets off the bus. He's crushed, mad, and stubborn as hell, and he gets off the bus at a pit stop in France, and doesn't want to look back.

What the fuck- what the fuck- fuck- fuck. He was walking away from the backstage of the show in Paris, and he couldn't tell if he should be angry or sad. Angry, because he couldn't handle any minor betrayal, and sad, because he should have known this would happen. You can't be a rockstar without sleeping around, especially if you're Phil Lester, and Dan just saw it with his own eyes. He was starting to fall for the guy making out with a girl backstage while the opening band played, and he couldn't believe he thought maybe he was the only one. Because he wasn't, he was just one of the bunch.

So Dan ran to the bus to pack his things. Maybe he could call his mom to get a flight back, or sleep with a rich guy in exchange for a fairy ride back to the island he called home. The idea was tempting -- it wouldn't make him more of a slut anyways.

"What're you doing there, Princess?" He heard a voice from behind him. Jacob, who has not ceased to stop calling him anything demeaning for the past weekend, clearly wasn’t stopping now. "I thought Phil was getting another night out of you.”

"He's not, he found another prick to do." His frustration crept out through the clenching of his jaw, a sign that there was no chance he could stay on the bus without dying on the inside. "I'm gonna head out early. Spare us both the trouble."

"Damn. That's news," Jacob responded, to which Dan gave out a small "what?". "It's just that usually they stick around and try to prove that Phil wants them for more than a couple nights."

"Well then he'll have to be disappointed this time."

"I almost feel bad for him." He went to the kitchen at that, and started pouring himself a rum and coke. "Hey, what do you say I pay for your ticket home? You'll be back before you know it so you can forget about this all."

"Seriously?" Dan put his toothpaste in his suitcase, finishing his packing. "That'd be great, thanks."

"It's no problem, especially since you proved me right. Gay guys are all such sluts." He poured a drink for Dan. “Want one?”

“Excuse me?” Dan stepped toward the kitchen.

“I asked if you wanted a drink.” Jacob said, confusion radiating in his face.

“Yeah, and you called me a slut.”

“So what? It’s true anyway,” he said, passing Dan the rum and sitting on the couch.

“Are you fucking with me? Phil might be a slut, yeah, but I sure as hell don’t just run around with anyone”

“Then why did you start running around with Phil?”

“I… what?”

“I’m saying that Phil didn’t force you to come here. He didn’t force you to have sex with him. You came here, for some random guy you never knew, on your own terms. That’s awfully slutty, isn’t it?”

“I mean yes but-”

“No buts. You did a slutty thing. Now you’re a slut. Now you can either take the ticket or not but you had better leave because I’m not out there, and Phil should chase after me in about a minute.”

“Fuck. fine, I’ll take it. But I am not a slut.” Dan sat down on the couch next to Jacob.

“Really? Then why aren’t you fighting me doing this”

And then Jacob moved his head to the side and kissed him, and Dan did the worst thing he could do, and kissed back. Not really because he wanted to, but because he was exhausted and upset and so fucking determined to do something to spite Phil that he, in the moment, kissed Jacob back. Dan had to admit to himself in his head that it was nice, but it didn’t last too long, because one minute his lips were locked to Jacob’s and the next--

“Jacob we needed you like five minutes-” Phil stopped dead in his tracks, confused and anxious as hell.

Dan and Jacob broke apart within a fraction of a second, both staring up at Phil, one with a worried look on his face and the other with a wide grin.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Stepping forward, Phil looked between the pair before locking his eyes on his best friend.

“Proving myself right, once again,” Jacob stated, standing up to look he lankier man better in the eye. “You gay guys really are just massive sluts. This one was even about to do it with me.”

“That’s not true,” Dan muttered, but neither of the boys standing in front of him were really listening.

“Jacob what the fuck.” The look on Phil’s face wasn’t exactly one of anger, but you could tell he was a little hurt and just so, so confused.

“You tell me. You said this wouldn’t happen again, now it did and I have the right to prove my point.”

“I told you, Jake, this one is different. Why the fuck are you messing arrund with it.”

“Because I’m right.”

“No, you’re not.” Dan stood up and interrupted. “He wasn’t messing with anything, and I wasn’t being a slut. I saw you kissing that girl in there, Phil. I’m not down to just be another one of your groupies. I’m going home.”

“Sounds like a great plan to me,” Jacob agreed, “I’ll send you ticket information once the show’s over, Princess.”

Phil looked at Dan, a little surprised. “You’re kidding? You’re not actually leaving, are you?”

“Does it even matter to you?”

“I-I-I can’t do this right now, guys,” the gears were turning rapidly in Phil’s head, “You and I need to be on stage right now, so Dan why don’t you just stay here and e can figure this all out after, yeah?”

“Sure, but if you’re trying to get off then I’ sure that girl will be available, too.”

“What-no- I have to go but just- just stay here,” Phil said before running out of the bus.

“See you later, babygirl,” Jacob said before following behind him.

And so Dan was left standing there on the bus, confused and tired and ready to go home. He figured maybe staying on the bus would be his best bet, so he did what any rational person would do in this case, and left it.