Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Thank you all for coming here today.  This is a momentous breakthrough, and I wouldn't want any of you to miss it!" Golf Ball said, beaming proudly.  

She then walked along the stage towards a large mass, covered by a white sheet.  "As some of you know, back during IDFB I found a Wall Teleporter in the Science Museum.  Since we haven't needed it since then, TB and I were fiddling around with it, trying to figure out how it works so we can improve it.  And we made an amazing discovery."

She turned towards the audience, smirking.  "When supplied with a large enough power source, the Wall Teleporter has near-endless potential.  In fact, with enough power and a few modifications, it can take a person to places outside the universe!  And what better powerhouse than a number?" she continued, gesturing with her foot towards Four, Two, and X, who were lined up next to the covered machine.

"With the power of these three lucky symbols, my new machine can take the user to dimensions unknown to objectkind," she explained as she grabbed the cloth with one foot.  "May I present to you... the Multiversal Travel Machine!"

The machine resembled a giant microscope, with a small stage next to a glossy-screened terminal.  Out of the top of the terminal was a mechanical arm that ended in a head similar to the original Wall Teleporter.

"Any questions before we begin?" Golf Ball asked the audience.  Blocky raised a hand, soliciting a sigh from GB.  "Yes, Blocky?"

"Where are the concessions being sold?  I was promised snacks," he deadpanned.

"Yeah! I want some chips!" Eraser insisted next to him.  Golf Ball smacked her head on her lifted foot in a facepalm. Or rather, facesole.

"Outside the left exit, turn to the right," she droned.  Eraser promptly rushed out to grab some grub for him and his friends.

Golf Ball sighed again.  "Any OTHER questions?"

Donut spoke up. "Yeah, uh, how did you get Four and Two to cooperate? They hate each other, and Four can be pretty stubborn."

"Bribery!" Four happily squealed.  "Golf Ball said that if I do this, she'll give me a whole bunch of funding to fix up the EXIT!"

"I'm gonna get a WHOLE new set of basket weaving supplies!" X cheered.

"I just didn't want to miss out on this," Two calmly added.

"Is that it?" Golf Ball asked the audience. After a silence, she continued.

"Will all BFB contestants please come forward?" she asked.

They all came forward one by one: Flower, Gelatin, Teardrop, Leafy, Firey, Bubble, Lollipop, Woody, Loser, Blocky, Taco, Ruby, Spongy, and Balloony.  

Profily skipped up the steps to the stage as well.  “6th place contestant, coming through!” they sang.  Golf Ball stopped them.

“And who are you meant to be?” she asked with an air of scrutiny.

“Uh, Profily?  One of the oldest and coolest BFDI contestants?” they offered.

“Hmm...” Golf Ball hummed as she eyed the blue icon up and down.  “I don’t remember you at all, but you do seem pretty cool.” Then she perked up. “Alright, you can go ahead!”

Once everyone was on stage, Golf Ball cleared her throat.  "Congratulations, you will be the first objects to venture to a whole new plane of being!" Several of those on stage were taken off guard by this.

“Wh-what?  I didn’t agree to that!” Blocky stammered in anger.

Four tried to explain.  “Sorry folks, another part of my end of the deal is that I had to find some test subjects for GB as well.  Just think of this as a fun little adventure!”

“And why should we go along with this? There isn’t a competition as an excuse to make us do this now, quad-digit,” Lollipop asked.

“If you do it, I’ll put you all on the waiting list for a TPOT, each.  It’ll be a while, but I’m planning on making multiple this time, so there won’t be any need to fight over them.” Four offered.

Two got riled up at this. “Hey!  You can’t just do that!  It’s my show, that’s like, piracy or something!”

Four rolled their eyes at this.  “You’re one to talk.  At least I got the Announcer’s approval for my season in the end.  You’ve been using the BFDI brand as part of TPOT, and you don’t even have the original show creator’s consent!”

Two sputtered at this, then took a deep breath.  “Fine. But it better be a limited run,” they said, crossing their arms.

Balloony was intrigued, but took caution.  “It would be pretty nice to be able to watch all my old friends compete on TPOT, but is this machine even safe?”

“Oh, absolutely!  I actually tested it on bugs before today, and they all came back fine,” Golf Ball assured.

“Then… I guess I’m in!” Balloony said with a shrug.  Everyone else seemed to be willing now too, nodding and mumbling in agreement.

“Great then!  It’ll just be a quick trip, but there’s a few steps to get ready first,” Golf Ball said.

"Now, the first step to prepare is to-- **BANG**

When the reverberating sound of the explosion blew through the air, everyone there had been deafened.

Those who were closest to the machine weren't: instead they were knocked unconscious by the blast. And teleported to a completely different universe.