Chapter Text
My notes started to look like they were swimming across the page from staring so long. A faint passion remained from when I first wrote them, back when I had just met Akali, and when I'd thought this choreography would be used in the finale against her team. But now it just felt wrong to imagine it without them. Without her.
Her voice shot into my mind again. Stuck together in the hallway, she told me how production kicked her off due to "repeated disruptive behavior", as well as a handful of "anonymous" complaints who we all knew the source of. The show still needed its finale, though, which meant True Damage was back in the competition by default to fill The Baddest's place. I knew it was just business, and I could respect that—but what they were sorely overlooking was the expectations of the very audience they claimed to be acting on behalf of.
"What's the haps, Caps?" Becca called out from above, raking my attention from the page and reminding me of the rehearsal I was supposed to be running. "You've been staring at that thing like it's got the secrets of the universe written on it."
I shook my head, and without waiting for a proper reply, she sank down beside me and eyed over the contents. Becca had to squint at my unusually sloppy handwriting in a few spots—since I had been so excited I forgot to make it legible—but she managed.
Her lips tightened into a straight line. "Ah, I get it now. I know things didn't exactly go as planned, but hey—at least we're still in the running, right?" she nudged.
"Winning against someone who uses dirty tactics isn't a satisfying victory," I answered glumly, "and that's if we can beat her fair and square."
Becca ran a hand over her chin. She glanced over at the rest of the girls, who were mulling around aimlessly as they waited for guidance, and popped up from the floor like she'd made up her mind.
"We're getting nowhere fast here. So, here's what I propose," she started. "Why don't you take the hour off and go pay the bad girl a visit, and I'll keep the team occupied and stretched for when you get back. Sound like a dealio?"
I wasn't opposed to the idea, but I felt the urge to raise an eyebrow at her anyway. "And just what are you insinuating?"
"That you clearly aren't in the headspace to choreograph right now, so maybe seeing Akali will cheer you up and get that creative juice flowing again." Becca answered with a surprising lack of teasing in her tone. It was like she'd accepted Akali as a normal part of our lives, and something about it made me too happy not to agree.
The bright sunshine of an early afternoon scorched my skin the moment I stepped out of the hotel. Never in a million years did I think I would willingly skip a rehearsal like this—and especially not one for a final performance in the world's most well-known dance competition. But, I suppose there's a first time for everything, and this competition had already shown me plenty of firsts. What was one more?
My thoughts scattered once the scent of a sweet, warm something filled the breeze blowing past me on the sidewalk. I glanced up. "Pantheon Pastries", the adorably-decorated sign read. I recognized the name—it was where Sera had gotten Akali's custom birthday cupcake, which I heard ended up being quite good—and as if to convince me further, my empty stomach growled below.
I wavered on the decision all the way up to the front of the shop, which had a large window and tall tables full of customers on the other side. My choice would be left up to how busy the shop was, I decided, as I held a hand up against the glass to peer inside—and that's when I noticed the sheen of long, mint green locks overhead, and I decided not to argue with fate today.
On the other side of the brightly-painted door, I found a small and busy, but efficiently-run business. Happy patrons filled what little space you could find in the dining area, all except for one empty chair situated across from Sera. She was tucked into the corner at one of the rare tables, deep in thought as she scribbled onto a notebook and gently nodded her head to the soft music playing on the radio.
I waited for her to perk up with one of her warm welcomes as I approached, but she was captivated by the decorative paper beneath her fuzzy pom-pom pen, which hadn't moved an inch since I spotted her. She looked different, too, with a muted gaze cast over her work. It didn't suit the bubbly girl I knew.
Without meaning to, I'd found myself drawn into her pretty handwriting. I had no idea what to expect Sera to be working on in her free time, but I certainly hadn't expected what looked like lyrics for a song, and good ones at that—
"ACK!"
Sera jumped at my sudden presence—or at least what seemed sudden after being lost in thought for the last minute—and slammed the notebook shut. "How long have you been standing there?!"
My lips pulled into a sheepish grin. "Not long! I just saw you through the window and thought I'd come say hi," I quickly explained.
"Oh, sorry...that was nice of you to come check on me! You can join if you'd like, I just wasn't expecting company." she said, tucking the book beneath her elbows before she gestured at the empty seat.
I offered no argument and joined her, feeling proud of myself for the spontaneous decision. Akali would be proud too, I thought.
Sera had relaxed since the awkward encounter, but her gaze still tugged down at the worn leather cover concealing her thick stack of notes every once in a while, which made my curiosity harder to ignore.
"Okay, I swear I wasn't trying to spy, but I couldn't help noticing what you were working on. May I ask what it's for?" I requested.
She clammed up on reflex, running a thumb over it. It was like I could see the thoughts dancing in her eyes. "I haven't told many people this, but...before I got into dance, I actually wanted to be a professional singer and write my own songs," she explained. "I love to sing, but I have trouble actually doing it in front of anyone. At least with dance, I can use a mirror to practice until I know it looks good before I perform it—but with singing, I feel like there's no way of making sure it's good enough."
I almost laughed, but I refrained when I saw how serious she was. "Are you kidding? Sera, your voice is beautiful. I heard you at karaoke, and when I looked around, we were all impressed," I explained.
"Really? Oh, um—thank you." she muttered. "Even if you're right, though, I still don't think I could sing in front of people I don't know like famous singers do. I could think I'm doing great, but I have no idea what they're thinking, or how they'll react. It's just...it's too much pressure."
Thoughts of my early career as a dance captain crossed my mind as I nodded along. "I get it. It's hard to be confident in your work until you get feedback for it, and in order to get it, you have to perform and risk rejection. But you won't get closer to your dreams until you reach for them," I offered.
Sera chewed her lip beneath her taught eyebrows, but her eyes sparkled for a moment. She scooped up the book with both hands, then shoved it through the air over the table, wincing like she didn't want to think about it and risk losing her nerve.
Curious, I gingerly took the fragile book, which felt like it could unravel at any moment. The pen was still clamped inside, leading me right to the page of her latest piece:
And no one, is perfect
You don’t need to be strong, every single day
No one really knows along the way
That the best things in life won’t be, perfect anyway
Something panged inside me. Maybe it was the emotional weight of last night catching up, or the timely relatability of an imperfect situation—but whatever it was, it came at the perfect time.
"Sera, this is..." I glanced over to find her fiddling with her jewelry in anticipation, until her attention hesitantly flicked up. "This is amazing. You have something special here." I finished.
She struggled to hide a smile at my reaction, but it faded just as fast. "I appreciate it, but it won't do me any good if I never work up the courage to sing it," she said, letting her voice dim to a mumble. "Maybe I'll just ghost write songs for people who can actually sing. At least that way my work won't completely go to waste—"
"Don't hand away your talent to others like that. If you have a dream, then you owe it to yourself to do everything you can to make it a reality," I interrupted, not realizing how loud my voice had gotten until after I said it.
Sera was taken aback at first. I guess she didn't expect my passionate tone, either. She took back her journal and settled into thought for a moment, pondering something much larger than our little corner of the bakery, then shook herself out of it with a nervous laugh.
"Well, um, how are your rehearsals going?" she asked.
My shoulders slumped—a sharp contrast to the power-speech I'd just given. "To be honest, I think I could stand to take my own advice," I admitted. "This shit-fest with Qiyana is taking a toll on my creative process."
Sera nodded along. "Yeah, I don't blame you. But it sounds like you're fairing better than Kali, at least."
"Kali? Why, what's going on with her?" I asked, feeling a little embarrassed by how I leaned over the table at the mention of her.
"We've barely heard from her since last night," Sera frowned. "I went with Ahri and Kai to check on her this morning, but when she opened up, she didn't even bother to take the chain off the door and just said she was tired and wanted to be alone. She hasn't answered any of our texts since, either."
My chest sank at the thought. My messages had gone unanswered as well, which I was hoping was a result of Akali going on a bike trip somewhere and making the best of her unexpected free time, but it seemed my hopes were a bit too optimistic.
"Is this normal for her? Did she do things like this before the competition?" I wondered aloud.
Sera shook her head, confirming my fear that this was hitting Akali a lot harder than she was letting on—and giving me even more reason to pay her a visit.
I excused myself under the cover of needing to get back to rehearsal, and thanked Sera for letting me join her and peek at her work. I didn't get far before she stopped me for a hug, one that I didn't realize how much we both needed, before speaking up with her usual, cheery tone.
"You should pick up a treat before you go," she urged with a short giggle at something. "Oh—and tell Kali I said hi."