Chapter Text
Wooyoung's screen time skyrocketed during the holidays.
Don't get him wrong: he'd slept a whole lot back at his parents' house, and he's been smooched and cuddled senseless for all he was worth.
However, on his last day before taking the train back to Seoul, Kyungmin had climbed into his bed wearing one of his million-dollar-worthy Chrome Hearts shirt and a shit eating grin.
- Hyung! Come look at this cool website I found!
At first, Wooyoung doesn't pay him any mind; he's playing League, and he's used to his younger brother coming by just to make him lose a match. However, Kyungmin's gone suspiciously silent, so he pauses his Nintendo to look at what's got him so focused.
What he hears next changes his life forever.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Wooyoung calls an emergency meeting as soon as everyone's back at the dorms from Chuseok.
Hongjoong, the last to arrive since his flight got delayed, nearly takes down the door as he enters.
- What is it?! - he grips Wooyoung's shoulders, breathless and wide-eyed, not bothering with taking off his shoes. - Were you seen with someone? Did you get someone pregnant?!
Wooyoung makes a disgusted face and gently slides out of his grip.
- Ew, hyung. You think so lowly of me, I'm wounded!
Seonghwa fixes him with a nasty stare.
- An emergency meeting is for serious stuff, Woo. You better have a good reason for this.
Wooyoung smiles triumphantly, connecting his phone to the big TV screen and mirroring the contents. It opens on a slideshow, the first one showing a big table with over a hundred lines and six columns.
Yeosang squints, trying to read.
- What's this?
Wooyoung sports a shit-eating grin as he announces.
- These, gentlemen… - he claps his hands once for extra effect. - Are the 100 top ships of 2024 on ao3.
All the members look at him like he's finally gone mad.
- What does that mean and why does it concern us?
Wooyoung makes a show out of putting on his glasses and pulls out a laser pointer, ready for his presentation.
- I'm so glad you asked!
It takes him fifteen minutes to explain to his baffled members (minus San, who already knew it existed and actively engaged in fandom spaces since he was 14) what is fanfiction, what is ao3, and how it could boost their popularity in real life.
- You see! If we get good rankings on the top ships, people will wonder about us! And they'll look it up, and hear our music, and see Mingi shirtless, and then BOOM! New fans!!
Hongjoong keeps looking at him like he's seriously considering kicking him out of the dorm, but the other members seem to be in varying degrees of seeing his point.
- You see, our most popular ship is Matz, at the 49º position. A whooping seven spots up if you compare it to the 2023 ranking! - Wooyoung points to the slide with his laser.
Seonghwa smiles shyly and blushes. Hongjoong pretends to gag.
- Then we got YunGi at 99. - he points lower in the screen. - Which, by the way, fuck you. WooSan was there before you took our spot and now we're no longer on top 100! Sannie, we gotta do something!
San looks up at him like he might ask if he had any ideas for that, but all the free space in the cramped up living room is taken by the two giants, jumping around and screaming in joy.
- Yun! People really are shipping us!! - Mingi exclaims, grabbing Yunho by the waist and hoisting him up in the air.
- I know! I started it!! - Yunho exclaims, just as ecstatic. - But wait!
Mingi puts him down, and Yunho stands in the middle of the room, fixing the two oldest with a nasty stare.
- How is Matz more popular than us? Me and Mingi are always together and touchy-feely and-
- Exactly. - Hongjoong interrupts nonchalantly, smoothly sliding an arm behind Seonghwa's shoulders on the couch. - You give them too much content. Couldn't be us. Gotta keep the fans wondering, you know? Give them something to fantasize about.
Wooyoung applauds his logic. Jongho scoffs.
- Then Sangie and I should be the highest ranking ship!
Wooyoung rolls his eyes.
- No, because you give them nothing at all! JongSangers are starving, y'all gotta step it up a bit more!
San pouts.
- What about us, then?
Wooyoung runs a hand through his hair, defeated.
- I don't know why YunGi passed us. But obviously we can't leave it at that!
Hongjoong raises a hand.
- I really don't think it's that serious-
- Yes it is! - Seonghwa shushes him. - I agree with Woo. This could be beneficial for the group as a whole. Aren't we always seeking more exposure? This is perfect, and it's for free! We just gotta convince atinys to write more about us!
There are nods and murmuring agreements all over the room. Yeosang pipes up.
- But how do we do that?
Wooyoung jumps up from his seat again, gathering some copies of the material he carefully put together along with his brother (an 'expert in the field', as Kyungmin called it himself).
- I'm so glad you asked! Minnie and I crafted a five-step-plan tailored to each one of our ships, y'all just gotta study and eventually make some changes-
San gently pulls him back down to his lap.
- Babe, calm down. What if we make it a challenge instead?
Seven pairs of eyes look at him.
- What?
San's eyes glisten with mischief.
- Let's make a bet. Each pair of us should make their own strategy, and then…
(Mingi starts dancing and singing strategy by Twice in the corner. San ignores him)
- …At the end of the next year we'll see who got more new fics. The ship placed last in the ranking has to buy everyone else dinner at that fancy barbecue.
Yunho raises his hand.
- Are there rules?
Wooyoung shrugs.
- As long as you don't get, like, expelled from the group or cause a major crashout, I don't think so.
- So, like, the Hunger Games, but for fanfiction? - Mingi chimes in.
Wooyoung high-fives him.
- Genius! We'll call it The Shipper Games!
No one seems particularly excited about that name, but they turn to look at Hongjoong for the last word of approval all the same.
The leader sighs heavily and sinks down more on the couch.
- …Fine.
Everyone cheers loudly, the pairs already coming together to think of a thousand ways to be the fandom's biggest object of attention. Even Hongjoong drops down his unbothered facade and takes a notepad to start writing it down.
They order chicken and beer, and the rest of the night is spent in utter concentration, the government assigned ships scattered across the living room, planning and scheming and testing and eventually giving away ideas that they liked but didn't suit their ship specifically. As the clock strikes midnight, Wooyoung gets up again and claps to get everyone's attention.
- Alright, let it be known! - he announces commically, with a grave voice in a dialect only ever heard in historical dramas. - I hereby declare open this Shipper Games season. May the odds be ever in our favor, and may the best ship win!