Chapter Text
Monday Morning
(11:34) wake up, say good morning to
(11:34) that sleepy person
(11:35) sending texts to you
(11:35) Good morning to you too.
(11:37) Have you been up since I woke you?
(11:39) yeah but i'm not tired
(11:41) should we continue our game of questions?
(11:43) Are you sure you don't need sleep?
(11:45) Pine Tree, you worry about me too much.
(11:46) i'm practically invinciBILL.
(11:46) I should have anticipated that and yet I did not.
(11:48) Anyway, it's your turn.
(11:52) alright, well, what are you always researching?
(11:54) Lots of things, I may have grown out of my paranormal phase a little, but not completely. It’s all stuff that might be real. Like cryptids.
(11:54) What time is it where you are?
(11:55) 11:55. but that is subject to change, as is most things involving me!
(11:57) You move around a lot?
(12:03) i've been all over the world, kid.
(12:04) Do you have any stories?
(12:08) i have had my seat on an airplane kicked by 37 children over the years, heard so many different horror stories from different cultures that i'm immune to all of them at this point, and know some of the best places in the world. but my favorite thing that has ever happened was when i was a little kid, as were all my cousins and my sister, when we were much closer. we'd make up little stories that always suited the area we were in, and occasionally we'd act them out.
(12:08) anyway, Pine Tree, have you ever gone anywhere?
(12:10) Well, I used to go to places around where I lived when I was younger, family vacations and stuff. Nothing as exciting as what you seemed to have done, though. We never left the west coast.
(12:12) Do you ever do anything but sit by your phone?
(12:13) i'm currently in between trades. so as of right now, no, i do not do anything else.
(12:13) rest assured, i have an idea.
(12:16) Is it legal?
(12:22) some questions, Pine Tree, are best left unanswered.
(12:23) Alright well I’m gonna go before I get implicated in any of your semi-legal activities. Talk to you later, Bill.
(12:25) see ya!
Tuesday Evening
(6:37) Pine Tree
(6:38) Pine Tree there's a cat in my room
(6:38) i don't have a cat
(6:39) Make sure it doesn't have any diseases before anything else.
(6:39) okay i'm gonna get some gloves and try to get it into a box or something
(6:43) shit it just ran under my bed
(6:46) WHY IS IT SO HARD TO LURE IT INTO A BOX
(6:47) Bill stop trying to text me while you're doing this!
(6:48) okay i finally got it
(6:48) its fur is the same color as my hair
(6:48) it looks like a stray
(6:50) Bring it to the vet and set up a found cat ad.
(6:52) okay but how do i keep it calm in the car?
(6:55) I....have no idea.
(7:01) wait i think it might be falling asleep anyway
(7:06) i’ll text you once we get there
(7:09) Alright.
(7:23) well we're here and i may end up with a pet cat
(7:26) Bill no.
(7:27) BILL YES
(7:31) But think about it in in a 'do I have the time and money for this' state of mind.
(7:33) ...
(7:33) i mean, i had one when i was a kid
(7:35) How many kids do you know that actually take care of their own pets?
(7:37) fair point.
(7:37) however, counterpoint,
(7:37) seven year old me did not have google. twenty-six year old me does.
(7:40) Please don’t inadvertently kill an animal.
(7:40) but it’s okay if i do it on purpose?
(7:42) Okay that’s not what I meant.
(7:43) ooo hang on Pine Tree the cat doctor’s back
(7:30) I heard there was a KITTEN?
(7:35) there is.
(7:35) i don’t actually own it yet tho
(7:36) BILL
(7:36) BILL
(7:36) YOU GOTTA GET THAT CAT
(7:38) working on it, Shooting Star
(8:30) i now own a cat
(8:34) Please do not harm it.
(8:34) i can’t believe you would think so lowly of me
(8:40) You could still be a serial killer.
(8:42) yeah but even they aren’t that heartless
(8:43) i’ve seen buzzfeed unsolved. i know that serial killers only care about killing humans.
(8:43) and like, you know what, i kinda get that. humans are terrible. i kinda understand the urge to murder them.
(8:45) Did you just justify murder? Like cold-blooded murder?
(8:45) yeah I GUESS but don’t get all donna tartt on me
(8:45) henry was right don’t @ me
(8:50) aw Pine Tree come back i promise i won’t throw you off a cliff
(8:52) Honestly, I never left, I just don’t know how to respond to that.
(8:54) what should i name my cat?
(8:55) What a subtle topic change.
(8:56) well i wanted to keep talking to you but i couldn’t really pick it up with ‘so when do you think murder is justified?’
(8:56) Never?
(8:56) yeah exactly
(8:57) so. cat names.
(9:00) Um
(9:01) Adam.
(9:02) James.
(9:02) Matthew.
(9:02) why are you giving me human names
(9:03) Because I am not very good at this.
(9:03) correct.
(9:03) WAIT I GOT IT
(9:04) No-Name!
(9:05) That’s creepy.
(9:05) i’m sorry did you expect less?
(9:10) True, true.
(9:13) Hey, I’ve got good news.
(9:13) what??
(9:15) I’m going to bed. Right now.
(9:16) i’m proud of you, Pine Tree.
(9:16) Yeah I know being a functional person is quite the achievement.
(9:17) don’t be sour
(9:17) if it’s something hard for you then it’s an achievement.
(9:27) Pine Tree?
(9:30) is he asleep?
(9:33) Yeah.
(9:33) alright good.