Chapter Text
You’re having a bad time.
Two days ago, you said goodbye to your best friend. She had gotten a job offer in the south that was just too good to say no to. You had helped her pack her stuff and accompanied her to the airport, where you promised each other to stay in contact. But you know how difficult it is to keep up with people who move so far away: you’ve done it with all your other friends already. Lives change and move into different directions, and it gets harder and harder to relate to each other. You’ll try of course, but you feel defeated. She was the last of your friends still in the area and you can’t deny you feel pretty lonely right now.
Of course it didn’t stop there. When does it ever? Yesterday, you lost your job with a startup company with no prior notice. The company had apparently been badly mismanaged for a while now and was so deeply in debt that it just exploded. Being in charge of nothing but the social media accounts at the place, you’d had no idea this was happening. You hadn’t heard anything through the office grapevine.
And then today, you had a fight with your mom. She wasn’t angry about you losing your job. She knows that’s not your fault. But she was angry that it happened and she couldn’t help, because she always wants to help. And then you told her she shouldn't baby you, and she got emotional, and you got emotional, and then you both started saying things you didn’t mean. You really want to take back some of the stuff you said. Knowing her, she wants that too. But you also know that at this point, you’re both still too upset to forgive or even talk to each other. This has happened often enough in the past already that you know you both need time to cool down your tempers and take a step back from your emotions.
So that’s your day today. Lonely, fighting with your mom, jobless. You really should be looking at job offers at least, you have a small nest egg to tide you over for a few weeks if you cut down your expenses, but you’d really rather not push your luck. But you’re tired and emotional and you keep staring at your laptop without being quite able to muster the energy.
Honestly? Fuck the job offers. At least for today. You’ll allow yourself one single day to take a break and properly wallow in your misery, because you really deserve that. You’re going to indulge in your misery-wallowing. That means you’ll eat ice cream straight from the tub, watch crappy TV, and maybe open that bottle of vodka you’d been gifted a while ago to make some vodka-cola. Actually, you think you’re going to start with that. Not too much, but a nice little buzz while watching the worst that cable has to offer should lift your mood.
Decision made, you snatch your TV remote and switch to your usual station for bad days, where they mostly show cooking duels and cheaply produced, overly dramatic telenovelas. The volume is off and you don’t really look at the screen as you throw the remote into a corner of your couch and march over to your kitchen nook to make yourself a drink and fetch the ice cream tub. You have one drink right then and there. The burn of the alcohol feels nice in your throat right now. Two trips have you sitting in front of the TV with the vodka and cola bottles, your glass, the ice cream tub and a big spoon on your coffee table. You’re sipping your second drink (okay, maybe you’re not exactly sipping but gulping, but psh, details) when you finally look at the screen. There seems to be some sort of fantasy movie on, you can see a collection of colourful creatures behind a shaken looking reporter. The special effects look pretty good you have to admit, the creatures seem very life-like. Animation technology sure has come far over the last decade. Normally you love stuff like this - fantasy, sci-fi, adventures with action and some fantastical element in them, that’s right up your alley. But you’re not in the mood for fantasy, not right now. You need something domestic. Preferably of the cheap, overdramatic and silly kind.
You switch channels and shovel the first spoonful of ice cream into your mouth. Mmmh.
The same movie seems to be on. Weird. You switch channels again and are greeted by that same scene yet again, only this time it’s a different reporter, looking just as pale and shaken as the first one. Huh. What? You finish your second drink and finally turn on the sound.
“ - dramatic turn of events, monsters have appeared at the foot of Mt. Ebott.”
What?
”The monsters, a species claiming to be magical in nature, were apparently trapped behind a so called barrier for the past millennium, which they claim was put into place by human mages.”
What??
”The King of Monsters, visible here in the background, states that monsters have no intent to enact revenge for their imprisonment and instead wish for a peaceful integration into human society.”
You stare at the screen wide eyed and completely dumbfounded. There aren't enough “what's” in the world to express your emotions right now. Even a ‘what the fuck’ doesn’t seem enough. This is a prank, right?
You switch channels again, cracking down hard on the ice cream tub. You need it.
“-have come out of the mountain in great numbers, with more still following-”
“-might be the biggest illegal immigration crisis the country has ever faced-”
“-proposes this as an elaborate hoax, although experts already disagree-”
“-nothing will be the same anymore-”
“-come to eat us all-”
“-no reason to panic, authorities say-”
“-military involvement to prevent potential casualties on both sides-”
“-the day of reckoning where we will atone for our sins-”
“-complete humbug-”
“-implications of which could change entire branches of science forever-”
“-relief efforts, although no official organisation has come forth yet-”
“-daughter is crying because she's afraid they'll come out of her cupboard-”
“-act of terror as far as I'm concerned-”
“-human ambassador, who is still only-”
“-unprecedented uproar in the community-”
“-monster gold-”
“-effects on the economy not entirely clear yet; experts predict-”
“-stock market absolutely crashed, Bob, we haven't seen numbers like that in decades-”
“-not with my children-”
“-no telling how long-”
“-monster rights? Who will? There's a clear precedent here if you look at-”
“-nothing but filthy animals-”
“-don't see why, we can assume they have no reason to attack-”
“-disagree, calling them ‘naive hippies’ and demand a decisive preemptive strike-”
“-temporary solution, long term the paperwork required for legal identification is-”
“-Hashtags Ebott and Monsters trending, search engines and social networks see more traffic than-”
You keep staring at the screen, reeling with disbelief. You want to think this is a joke, but the only news stations that aren't taking this seriously are ones you normally never look at because you know they aren't worth their salt. And you're not drunk enough yet to blame it on the alcohol. Monsters. Actual, real life monsters, ready to join the world.
What the actual fuck.
You pour yourself another drink. It's just that kind of a day. You’re not really sure what to feel - you love fantasy and all that stuff, but you never expected this to be real, and now it is. It leaves you deeply confused. If this is real, then how many other things you were comfortable believing don’t exist could be real? Honestly, you feel as if reality itself is crashing down around you as all your layers of comfort are ripped away. No friends, no job, no mom to cheer you up, and now monsters? If there's a time to get shitfaced, it's now.
So that's exactly what you do. You lose count of how many drinks you're having as you keep watching the news in utter fascination and no small amount of worry. You watch as a sweaty, pale reporter musters up the courage to interview the King of Monsters, who looks a bit like a cross between a goat and a bearded Canadian lumberjack and keeps insisting the reporter should just call him Asgore, please, no really, it's okay, he doesn't insist on the title, it's fine. He has a nice voice, very deep and rumbling. He's also large enough that he has to sit down and curl up hugging his knees in order to have his face in the frame. You giggle a little. Poor guy, he looks so uncomfortable.
King Asgore conducts his interview with a surprising amount of dignity considering his cramped position and the jumpiness of the reporter. He keeps insisting that the monsters don't want to harm anyone, that they want to live peaceful lives alongside the humans, and that they're really just happy to feel the sunshine again after all that time under the mountain.
That last bit has you choke up a little. You're always very emotional, and even more so when you're drunk, but in this case it feels warranted. A thousand years in a cave, with no sun, no fresh air, no moon and no stars, just darkness and the pressure of stone - you can't even begin to imagine it. You suddenly feel really sorry for these creatures, for having to go through all of that. You don't know why they were trapped down there exactly, it was probably mentioned somewhere but there was so much information that you don't remember. But you feel that nobody deserves something like this, especially not if it happened so long ago.
You pour yourself another drink in order to lift the mood as the interview with King Asgore ends. The reporter seems very relieved, you think he's overreacting a bit. The news move on and focus on another interesting facet of the situation: there's a child with the monsters who introduces… himself? Herself? It's hard to tell. Who introduces themselves as the monster’s human ambassador. Aww. That's so cute. This kid is adorable. The reporters seem to share your opinion, but glancing at the monsters nobody seems to be able to muster up the courage to tell them that kids can't legally act as ambassadors for entire new species. Although you have to admit, they express themselves very well for being such a shrimp. How old are they even? Nine? Ten? Must be one of those kids who spend too much time around adults, it's something you've seen before. What was their name again? You missed it - oh there it is on the screen again. Frisk. Huh. Unusual, but it sounds kind of nice? You try to focus back on the interview, your capability to multitask has been drowned in vodka by now.
“So what exactly will you do, as ambassador, to help the monsters integrate peacefully into human society?”
“I'll be going with Asgore and Tori - uh, the King and Queen, to all their official functions of course and try to mediate between them and the human politicians. Humans and monsters aren't really that different from each other even if it looks like they are, but there's still a potential for misunderstandings and unnecessary tension. I won't be doing everything alone of course. My friends will help me - and I'm very sure that there will be humans willing to help, too.” Here, Frisk stops looking at the reporter and looks right at the camera instead. “I encourage all humans to think about what they can do to help. We would be happy to receive your support!” Oh, this kid is good. Working it like a champ, you feel like they're talking directly to you. It’s a standard trick, but still effective. Impeccable technique and execution, really. Even knowing this, you can feel it work, because you start to think. What can you do to help?
You suddenly have an idea. A stupid, crazy, brilliant idea. You shouldn't do this. You're buzzed. Okay, no, you have to be honest with yourself here, you’ve long passed the mark of buzzed and hopped straight into drunk. Really drunk. But hey, what harm can it do? You were supposed to look for a new job anyway, right?
Giggling, you pull your laptop over and wake it up from sleep mode. It only takes you a little bit of fumbling on Google to find what you've been looking for: Frisks Facebook profile. Of course they have one, what kid doesn't these days even if they're technically too young? You’d be lying about your age too, if it were you. Now comes the hard part. You pull up your credentials and the template letter you use when you apply for jobs. Putting all the names in is the first hurdle, it's kind of hard to check if you spelled them right with how drunk you are. Fiddling with your credentials is even harder. You've done this before though. Back in college when you suddenly remembered you had a paper due while you were drunk or hadn't slept or both. You're pretty good at bullshitting your way through stuff like this. And eh, if one or two mistakes slip through, no biggie. It's a crazy idea anyway, you don’t really expect this to work.
You giggle to yourself again when you look at the final result:
Application as Monster Social Media Manager
Followed by an application letter, a list of your previous jobs, your college, recommendation letters, and a short description of your capabilities. Looks pretty good, you think. You'd totally hire yourself. Oh, wait, you found a spelling mistake. Drunk? Please. Orthography game on point! There. Now you'd totally hire yourself! You click send and collapse into a fit of laughter. It's hard to say why, but the idea of guiding King Asgore through the details of why he needs to update his twitter status more often is just really hilarious to you. Must be the vodka. Speaking of vodka! You reach for the bottle to pour yourself another drink. You broke your promise to use today as a job-search-free day after all, you deserve another one.
You eventually fall asleep on the couch like this, the news still running in the background, occasionally giggling about what you just did.