Chapter Text
“Holy shit,” Stammers out of the man's mouth as he laughs “I did it! I captured the not so great anymore Radio Demon!” Alastor's stomach twists as the office chair is sent spinning, when it stops he’s face to face with the most shameful man in hell, Vox, who was still rambling.
“-ean I knew I could do it, but it feels so so good to finally have you here with me. You must feel like an idiot for turning me down back then-” Alastor sneers behind the gag, his ever present smile tightening. “-you said I was an idiot but look around ya Al-” The man grabs the front of Alastor's hair and tugs his head up to look at him. “-you’re here now, at my mercy, at my whims! You’re an idiot.”
Alastor tugs his head back, leaning back in the chair, crossing his legs, and glaring silently at Vox. This childish bickering wasn’t beneath him per se, not much was, he was rotting in hell. Oh that one was funny he’d have to save it for his next broadcast! There he goes, losing his train of thought again. He supposes he just wasn’t in the mood for the bickering he typically enjoyed. He simply wished to get his staff repaired and go on air, he wasn’t surprised Rosie refused but he wasn’t pleased with her refusal.
He ignores Vox as the man continues to ramble, his overinflated ego always drove Alastor mad. Alastor ignores him as the man rambles about how he’s singlehandedly defeated Alastor despite the fact that if it weren’t for Voxs, far stronger partners, Valentino and Velvette, Vox would have lost, miserably, despite Alastor’s injuries left over from the last extermination. Eventually Vox tires himself out, he twirls the chair Alastor is in again so he’s facing the bed.
Vox calls in Valentino and the two, Alastor would prefer not to describe it, perform coitus. It takes far longer than Alastor would have liked, hours too long.
-~*~-
Vox sighs and lays his head on Valentino's chest. This, this is what he was talking about. This was his own personal heaven, a good long fuck session with Valentino and a suffering and humiliated Alastor. Everything that he had wanted. Power, love, and revenge.
He turns his head to look at Alastor, the deerlike man is glaring at him with the force of a thousand suns. Despite his tantrum he was still tied to the chair, Vox smiles back and blows a kiss. Alastor blanches and presses one of his feet to the floor and kicks back, he slides backwards and hits the wall hard. A growl escapes his lips from behind the muzzle, Vox rolls his eyes, scoffing. The man had always been so dramatic about sex and romance, something had to be wrong with him, well other than all the obvious stuff. Vox stands stretching and grabbing the nearest article of clothing, pulling Valentino's cloak around him. From the bed the larger man purrs.
“Voxxxxy~ you look so good in my clothes. You should wear them more telequito~”
“Not now Val, can’t you see I’m talking to my guest.”
-~*~-
Alastor rolls his eyes, he wouldn’t exactly call walking towards someone who’s gagged making conversation, but what did he know about talking, he was only a wildly successful radio host.
Valentino catches him rolling his eyes and giggles, wiggling his fingers and smiling.
Alastor grimaces. He certainly didn’t want to be friends with the porn director. He sneers at Valentino as much as he can, Valentino returns the favor with a glare of his own.
“Oh c’mon Voxxyy we were just having fun you can’t just leave me!”
“Valentino I am busy!”
“You’re not replacing me with him, are you?”
Alastor who had slowly been removing the gag freezes at that, his stomach dropping and turning, that was his worst nightmare.
“I certainly hope our friend Vox wasn’t planning on it, I’m afraid I find coitus entirely sickening, and he’s already crazy enough, we couldn’t send him over the edge now could we, dear?”
“Certainly not deer.” Vox says as he shoves Alastor's chest, his gaping wound doesn’t make it any less painful for him, when Alastor stiffens from the pain Vox quickly uses his cables to resettle the mask over his face.
“Valentino get out, I am trying to talk with Alastor.”
“You’re always talking about him to me, why can’t I see you talk to him?” The moth whines.
“I said get out!” Vox exclaims, using his cables to shove Valentino out and slam the door behind him.
“Now where were we Mr. Prim and Proper,” Vox says the second half in a poor imitation of the transatlantic accent, Alastor rolls his eyes. “Oh right, I was reminding you how much better I am, have always been.” While Vox is speaking he runs his clawed hands over Alastor's face in a way that makes the deer deeply uncomfortable. Alastor represses a shudder, refusing to give the TV even an inch.
This doesn’t seem to please Vox, the man growling and clawing at Alastors skin.
-~*~-
Alastor is three years old. He had wet the bed during his nap, like a failure. His father was incredibly angry. He is curled up on himself underneath his bedframe, crying softly as blood drips from his nose onto the floorboards beneath him. He’s being careful to sob quietly, he knows if his father is made aware of this he won’t be pleased. He hopes his mommy returns from the grocers soon. She will make him soup and sing to him until he feels better, like she always does.
-~*~-
“I have some questions.” Vox announces as he finally pulls his hands away from Alastor's body.
Ask away, it’s not like I’ll answer Alastor thinks as he shrugs absentmindedly
“How is some random serial killer from the fucking thirties so powerful?!”
Making a deal with someone before death dear Vox, something you would never be able to comprehend, much less do, particularly while alive, though I doubt you could manage it now.
“Why does that random serial killer disappear for seven years completely randomly?!”
I’m afraid the answer is the same, when you sell your soul you don’t exactly have complete free will, something we both understand considering I am the most powerful overlord, which involves owning a great many souls, and you were friends with me once.
“The why the hell does he show up at some rinky dink hotel, for the bullshit idea of ‘redemption’ run by Lucifer’s cheesy optimistic fucking bitch of a daughter?!”
How many of these questions will have the same answer you small brained idiot. Though I have come to enjoy the hotel. The last extermination supplied quite a lot of angel meat, the wings are too gamey for me but the rest simply fantastic, I’ll have to see how often I can cut parts off of Lucifer.
“Why did you lose our fight, we both know you’re stronger than that, as much as I hate to say it- WAIT-” the man breaks into a laugh “Wait WAIT don’t tell me you care about those two, the- the cat”
His name is Husker.
“and the bug”
And her name is Niffty.
“You- YOU caring about people?!” Throughout this mini monologue the man is laughing “I didn’t think it was possible oh you’ve made this so so so easy for me, you are a fool Alastor.”
Ahh yes I’m certainly the fool here.
Vox has lost himself in hysterical laughter, Alastor simply rolls his eyes as he watches the man make a fool of himself.
-~*~-
Charlie was curled up in her bed, bawling her eyes out, she was so so worried about Alastor, sure Vaggi was convinced he was scheming but she wasn’t so sure, and if Vaggi was wrong and Alastor was truly at Vox’s mercy without a plan. She gasps in another sob, the last time she’d ended up like this Alastor had been there to comfort her, what could she do, what should she do?!
She feels a gentle hand on her shoulder and jolts upright, looking behind her quickly, when she feels the weight of disappointment in her gut at seeing Vaggi makes her feel extremely guilty. Charlie throws herself into the ex-exorcists arms, sniffling against the smaller woman's shoulder.
“Char I love you but c’mon Alastor is always scheming he’s fine, the hotel however cannot scheme and therefore needs us.” The woman says with a smile
Charlie nods, which all she can manage with the anxiety running through her mind. She takes a few deep breaths and stands up, with the help of Vaggi.
“You’re probably right but-”
“I love you, you know that, but please Charlie you have to focus. The hotel needs you.”
“I love you so much Vaggi.”
Vaggi pecks her on the lips quickly and tucks some of her hair behind her ear.
“Yeah yeah, love you too, now get dressed and meet me in the lobby.”
-~*~-
Alastor had been at the Vee’s tower for nearly a week now. His opinion on the experience? Well it wasn’t entirely negative. Vox was certainly annoying and just as clingy as he’d been all those years ago when the two were friends. Alastor found Valentino disgusting, the man may have been tolerable if he wasn’t so focused on sex. Velvette however was a delight to spend time with. She was still relatively new to hell and to being an overlord, not to mention she’d died relatively young, traits he normally found entirely unbearable, but he didn’t have full choice of his company presently. They’d been formally introduced when she’d barged into Vox’s office to yell at the man, Alastor had assisted in berating Vox and the two had bonded.
He hums and shifts in the chair, Vox had gotten lazy with the restraints lately, not that Alastor would escape, he had made a deal after all. He looks up as the door to Vox’s bedroom is kicked open by the doll demon. Velvette's hair was braided into cornrows and set into two space buns. She was wearing a simple crop top with matching shorts, for someone who typically cared so much about her looks this was low effort for the woman.
“Vox is being a major cunt!” Velevette exclaims as she enters, slamming the door shut and flicking her wrist to cut the gag around Alastor's mouth with an enchantment.
“Vox being annoying, I simply cannot believe it.” Alastor replies sarcastically watching as Velvette flops onto the bed.
“He let Valentino, who’s being pissy by the way, into my fucking studio, the bastard tore up one of my models so bad she’ll take a week at least to regenerate, not mentioning all the clothes he tore apart, weeks of work.”
“As much as I hate to defend Vincent, it seems that this is Valentino's fault.” Alastor's smile grows sharper when he hears Velvette laugh.
“I still can’t believe that Vox’s name in life was Vincent, it’s so stupid!”
“If you wish for more to make fun of our dear Vincent, I would be most pleased to offer more ammo.”
“Oh that sounds fan-fucking-tastic!”
The two gossip for a while, bringing up things about all the other overlords, Alastor is quite excited to share what he’s learned with Rosie and Zestiel the next time they have brunch. He even thinks that perhaps Velvette should be included in their weekly soiree, the young woman had a ton of gossip and seemed more tolerable then she acted at the overlord meeting.
“You mean to tell me Zeezi died from a failed skydiving expedition?” He asks as he crosses his legs, Velvette was now laying upside down on Vox’s desk, looking back at him, her doll joints allowing her to turn her head 180°.
“Yeah, she crushed people when she landed, that’s why her demon forms a kaiju!”
“Oh dear-” Alastor laughs but he’s cut off by the sound of static as a bolt of electricity shoots from a security camera and lands between Alastor and Velevette, when and where it hits the ground Vox materializes.
“Oh deer indeed, Velvette why the fuck are you talking to my prisoner?!” As Vox exclaims this he walks towards the woman.
“Last I checked Al is the Vee’s prisoner, so he’s mine too, besides I’m not talking to a prisoner, I’m talking to my friend.”
“About what exactly?”
“Oh plenty of things dear Vincent,” Alastor says inserting himself into the conversation “namely other overlords.”
“Other- Other overlords?! You’re not an overlord anymore, remember Radio Demon, or did the old age finally get to you?!”
“Well firstly you’re older than I, you died at what fifty, I was merely twenty seven, and secondly my position as an overlord is quite stable, I am your prisoner, you don’t own my soul. I still have possession over all that is mine.”
“Why you-”
“Oi you cunt! Don’t tell me you're pissy he's right?!” Velvette interjects with a smile.
“Get out of my room!”
“Fine, wait one more thing.”
“Okay, fine Vel, what?”
“Tell Val to stay the fuck out of my studios, got it V?”
“Yeah yeah whatever, I’ll tell him now get the fuck out!”
“Toodles! See you later Al, I want to do your hair, I can’t believe you straighten i-” Before the doll demon can finish her sentence Vox uses his cables to shove her out and slams the door.
“FUCKING CUNT!” Velvette shouts through the door and Alastor can hear her storming off.
“Shame you didn’t let her finish her sentence, maybe you could’ve learned more about me, since you’re quite obsessed.”
“What the hell was that?! You’re my fucking prisoner-”
“-and our dear Velvettes friend.” Alastor finishes for him, which seems to corrode the rest of Vox’s patience and the man punches him in the face.
“What was that? Charlie’s handshakes are stronger than that punch!” Alastor laughs despite the feeling of blood trickling from his nose. Another punch.
“Goodness gracious are you certain you're the serial killer and cult leader Vincent Whittman, this is pathetic!” Another punch, this one his chest, hitting right against the unhealed wound he had left over from fighting Adam during the last extermination. He coughs and blood spews from his lips and splashes onto Vox’s television face.
“Oh lucky shot!” He exclaims, hanging his head slightly, his smile was certainly more of a grimace now.
-~*~-
Vox pants, he was hunched over Alastor's unconscious form, he’d been beating the lights out of that stupid fucking deer for hours now. He wipes his sleeve over his face, however he only manages to smear the blood as opposed to cleaning his face. If the Radio Demon wanted to play friends with Velvette he’d just have to give them a special surprise.
Vox shoves the chair Alastor was slumped in into a corner and tightens the cables and quickly replaces the gag. One look at the gag told him it wasn’t enough and he tears it off, prying open the bastard's smiling mouth and reaching in he wraps his clawed hand around the man's tongue, he pulls back and tears it out with a spray of blood. He stares at the hunk of red bloody meat in his hand, grimacing, gross. He looks up to the glass wall of his aquarium and sticks two, admittedly bloody, fingers into his mouth and whistles for Shock.wav.
The large partially mechanical shark arrives quickly, dwarfing Vox and Alastor with its body, cloaking the two in his shadow. Vox looks down at Alastor’s tongue and hurls it over the rim of the tank.
“Din-dins sharky!” The shark eats it quickly, though it was likely just a snack for something as large as Shock.wav.
Now that the tongue was disposed of, though the quick regeneration of hell would surely return it to Alastor quickly Vox would never complain about some quiet. He growls and sits down at his desk, glaring at Alastor’s slumped form. It was time to put his plan into action, really make the radio demon regret everything.
-~*~-
Alastor had no idea how long he’d been unconscious, however he could solidly guess it had been at least a day, but that wasn’t the most pressing question at the moment, right now he simply wanted to know where he was. He was obviously in a room of Vox’s if the bright blue brutalism told him anything. His ropes had been so graciously removed so he shifts to sit up, stumbling to his feet and biting down a grimace as he observes the room.
The room is a small and claustrophobic square, roughly four by four feet, around three of the four walls there's a blue concrete and metal ledge, presumably a bench, it juts out about a foot leaving only a two by three area of simply floor, no wonder Alastor’s back hurt. There was no obvious door but there was a slight seam on the wall that didn’t have a bench. Vox had been feeling fancy with Alastor’s cell, lucky him.
But perhaps the most annoying part of all of this was his tongue, or lack thereof. He could feel it regenerating, it would be back in a day or two, still a day without speaking was annoying. Alastor did love speaking. Alas he could annoy Vox in a great many other ways.
He sits down on the bench, crossing his legs and studying his claws, absentmindedly picking at his cuticles and the tips of the claws, he usually took good care of them but he hadn’t been able to lately, though he and Velvette had plans to spend a spa day together soon. He assumes that’s now off the table. Perhaps they could still get to it someday.
-~*~-
It had been two days since Vox had locked Alastor away, the man had woken up a day in and had been keeping his cool, which pissed Vox off. He wanted to watch the radio demon squirm and suffer and regret every choice he’d ever made, unfortunately he was not getting his wish. He flicks the lights again, which once again doesn't cause a reaction. He needed to figure out how to fuck to get him to care.
He sits down at his desk, pulling out a pen and paper, sure he had a TV for a head and was the media overlord but he would use good old fashioned stuff occasionally, not that anyone but him would ever know that. He writes his plan slowly and carefully, rage simmering under his skin, the sound of the pen scratching against the paper keeping him focused. Eventually he finishes it and sets up the orders he needs to make to Carmilla Carmine, the weapons overlord. He turns on his computer and types out the orders, sending them quickly. By the time he’s finished his rage at Alastor has grown stronger, he breaks off a chunk of the desk growls, when he stands up he scratches across it.
Vox storms out of his room and forces his way into Valentino's room.
“Out.” He barks at the actors.
“Telequito what's this about?”
“I want to calm down.”
Vox shoves Valentino against a wall.
“Ohhhh~ I seeee~!”
-~*~-
Alastor was bored, a man could only memorize so many jazz songs to perform by himself. He’d been in this room for a little over a week now, he was pretty sure at least. He places his staff firmly in the center of the floor, keeping it standing upright with his left hand as he paces along the bench, jumping across the two foot gap in front of the door every time he comes across it. He wasn’t typically antsy but he was typically able to do the things he enjoyed: cooking, baking, playing piano, dancing, inking, and calligraphy.
He had paced the total of the room a few hundred times, he had counted. Vox seems to finally get fed up, cables fly from all the security cameras and restrain him quickly, taking him into the air and flipping him upside down, how uncouth. Before he has time to fully comprehend it a bolt of electricity jolts from a security camera and Vox appears standing in front of him, Alastor is lifted up slightly by the cables so that the two of them are eye to eye.
“Well Alastor looks like you’re antsy in here.” The man says with a sneer on his face.
“Naturally, a gentleman requires his exercise.” Alastor replies politely.
“Gentleman?! YOU KILLED AND ATE PEOPLE!”
“Can a soul not contain multitudes?”
“I wish Adam had killed you!”
“How queer I wish the same thing for you!” Before Vox can reply Alastors monocle slides down off of his face and falls to the floor, shattering from the seven foot drop to concrete.
“Ohhh old man's bifocals fell.”
“Thats not what ‘bifocals’ means”
“Are you always this annoying or is this special just for me?”
“Depends on who you ask.”
Vox growls and the cables around Alastor’s limbs tighten, he's certain he heard a few cracks, though he can swallow quite a bit of pain to annoy Vox.
“Well deer, I recently received quite a large order from Carmine industries.”
“Perhaps I truly am old but I don’t see what weapons have to do with your industry of mediocre technology.”
“Oh they aren’t for Voxtech actually, it's a present for an old friend.”
“Oh my, who’s the lucky victim?”
Before Vox can retort or Alastor can continue taunting the TV a sharp pain tears through Alastor's body as he spots a metal spear protruding from his stomach, not angelic steal so it wouldn’t kill him but it was painful and would be a nightmare to regenerate from. Before he can gather his thoughts the same pain shoots through his left leg a quick glance confirms his suspicion, his calf is skewered clean through. This continues, for a long time, when it finally ends the once blue room is stained red, Vox had left, to avoid being skewered, and Alastor is fairly certain more of him is splattered across the room then directly connected to his body.
He’s been impaled through his stomach, his left calf, his right thigh, his right hand, his left forearm, his right eye clear through the back of skull, his left ear, his tail, and his chest. He was coughing up blood, had been the entire time. Now don’t get Alastor wrong, he loved gore, however this was a bit too much for his tastes.
-~*~-
Lucifer sticks his forked tongue out of his mouth subconsciously as he carefully flicks the paintbrush over the sanded rubber.
Carefully, caaaarefully, careful now Luci
Don’t ruin this like everything else
Like your marriage, your relationship with your daughter, your time with your fa-
NOPE! Nope nope nope, he had started this to ignore the negative thoughts. He’d been making rubber ducks since Lilith left to try and stay sane, the amount of rubber ducks he had probably didn’t help his whole ‘totally sane, thanks for asking, daddy loves you char-char!’ routine. But the ducks helped, it was nice to hyperfixate, and when one was immortal a hyperfixation that could last a mortal days could keep you going for years, it was what year eight now of the rubber ducks and he loved every minute of it.
He flicks the brush carefully on the duck’s face, finishing the things eyeliner, wow that was great, he was great at makeup, I mean yeah he’s looked in a mirror before but his dad this is fantastic. If he ever quits the whole king of hell thing he could be a makeup artist. Wait he kinda had quit the whole king of hell thing when he went into that depression after Lilith left. Man he really should get back in contact with the sins at least, if for nothing else than the fact that he missed gossiping with Beelzebub and Asmodeus. But honestly the sins probably hate him for the unannounced eight year disappearance.
WOW! He needs to focus! He made ducks to distract from his depression, not worsen it! He takes Scales, his snake, yes THE snake, from his hat, which was on the table, and places her on his shoulders, she settles wrapped around his neck half asleep and very comfortable. She’d always comforted Lucifer. She’d always been there for him. She was actually the first thing he’d created.
-~*~-
Lucifer was six years old, still a fledgling, he and his, older by three minutes but loved to brag about it, twin Michael were playing hide and seek with their elder brother Raphael, who was nine, in heaven's garden. Lucifer giggles as he crawls under a stone bench, folding his wings tightly to his back and hoping no down feathers fall off. He knew Raphael would look up since he and Michael always hid in the trees but there was no way anyone would expect this. He was the smartest!
He can hear the sound of Michael’s frustrated protests as Raphael spots him in the tree. Lucifer watches and Michael jumps from the branch into Raphael’s arms.
“Help me find our littler brother Mikey?”
“Luci was really smart! He hid under a bench! He said you’d never look low!” Michael exclaims with a giggle and points Lucifer out, Lucifer crawls out from under the bench with a huff and he crosses his arms over his chest.
“No fair, Michael traitored me!” He huffs and kicks a stray leaf over the path, he hears a warm laugh behind him and whirls around to see his Father, standing behind him is the youngest archangel, Gabriel, who’s only three now. Lucifer kneels, his other brothers do the same.
“Stand my children.” Lucifer obeys and walks back to his brothers, it wasn’t that he wanted to be farther from his Father, but he did want to be closer to Michael since the two had just been bickering and he didn’t actually want to fight.
“Gabriel run along and play with Raphael, I have something very important to do with Michael and Lucifer.” At their names Lucifer and Michaels heads pop up, staring at their Father. While they look up at their Fathers face Gabriel runs over and climbs into Raphael's arms when the angel crouches to set down Michael.
“Michael, Lucifer walk with me to my office, you have a very important task in front of you.”
“What is it Father?” Lucifer asks as he reaches up to take God's left hand, Michael mirrors the action but with God's right hand. God smiles as he leads the two towards His office.
They walk for a while, first through the expansive gardens of heaven, crossing over babbling brooks and pausing so Lucifer and Michael can look at the koi pond, they race through the tulip fields and fly over the waterfall. Then through the gilded streets, Michael and Lucifer say hello to all the cherubs and chase each other through a maze of alleys. Finally through the heavenly palace, Lucifer challenges Michael to a race to see who can reach Father’s office first, and wins obviously. They’re both out of breath and giggling by the time God catches up to them, He’s smiling as He opens the door to his office and ushers the two of them in.
The room is large, the part that one enters into is a small hallway with alcoves covering the edges, everything is made of a light warm wood, the lighting is warm, each of the alcoves have something different, an expansive library of scrolls in one, another set of bookshelves except all the books are these are intricately leather bound journals, floor to ceiling shelves stocked with meticulously organized art supplies, one is empty except for the walls which are covered with drawings and paintings. However most of the alcoves have desks, one desk is empty except for a blank scroll set in the middle with a quill and ink well on the side, another is covered with sketches, one has an open note book with a quill still dripping ink onto it, another is empty, one has a little bit of everything on it. Lucifer loves this part of Fathers office, it feels so comfortable, however the other part, the larger, and louder, part is Michael's favorite.
If one is to continue walking down the hallway they’d find what Father calls his replica; it is a recreation of his main focus of his biggest project, The Garden of Eden. It freaks Lucifer out more than a little. He gets lost too easily, it is always noisy, there is no true silence, Father thinks that's a good thing, he knows he’s not supposed to disagree with Father but how can anyone tolerate constant noise, he thinks he’d go insane living there. However the garden does have some wonderful things, Father and Raphael call them animals. He and Michael both loved the rabbits most, Michael called them bunnies, Lucifer really liked the idea and called them bunnies too.
Lucifer and Michael watch as father leads them to a desk with two chairs, the two little archangels struggle to climb into the chairs even as their Father offers help, both determined to do it on their own. When they get up they look at the desk which has three pieces of paper on it. Surrounding them there are a variety of art supplies, God sits down at the other side of the table and smiles at His children.
“It is time for you both to create,” He says with a smile “you will both create a being to go on Earth in Eden. I will create one too.” As He says that He takes a pencil and begins sketching on his piece of paper.
They spend a while sketching in silence, when all three of them are finished they take turns showing what they’ve made. Father made a butterfly, a creature that will go through three distinct stages of life to represent that this was Lucifer and Michael’s chrysalis stage as He put it. Lucifer wasn’t sure what to draw and just drew a squiggly line he liked and then turned it into something, a snake. But Michaels was Lucifer's favorite, he created a duck!
God then shows them how to create life and the three do it, Lucifer hugs Scales to his chest and decides right then and there that she was the best thing in the whole universe. How in the world could something be this adorable.
-~*~-
Alastor was beginning to consider he’d misjudged Vox. Perhaps whatever lingering romantic feelings Vox had for him were outweighed by his hatred. Alastor coughs up more blood, he hates regenerating. He forces himself to lay as still as possible as his limbs twitch, more blood spilling through his lips. Eventually the door is forced open and the doll demoness walks in.
“Hush up, Vox won’t be happy I’m doing this but I don’t give a damn what he thinks, we have plans so I’m making sure they’re happening, this isn’t some sappy shit.” Velvette says and slams the door shut as she begins to use her powers to whip up some bandages, a curved needle, and string. She sews his wounds shut expertly, she was a seamstress afterall. Alastor’s smile softens into something genuine and he makes a mental note of this.
“Naturally my dear.”
“What part of hush up don’t understand geezer?”
Alastor gives her a toothy grin but stops fighting as she takes care of the wounds. Grateful for the clever young woman's assistance.
-~*~-
Alastor is seven, he had spilled some soup on himself during dinner and father had locked him in the shed overnight summer. It was only fair. He was laying on the dirt floor panting, it was so hot. He only hopes he’ll pass out soon so he can wake up and go to his bed. His eyes flutter shut.
When he opens his eyes his mother is smiling down at him, those comforting crinkles around her eyes soothe him as she brushes her hand through his hair.
“Come back inside mon bebe, you need breakfast before you get ready for school.” She says and helps him to his feet.
When they go inside Helen walks over to the kitchen and begins preparing food while Alastor walks into the bathroom, he washes the dirt from his face and grabs the tin of the McBradys High Brown Talcum powder that father made him use. He grabs a glass jar of cocoa butter and pulls it over to him. He pours roughly a teaspoon of the powder into his hand and grabs a tablespoon of the cocoa butter and puts it in his hand and mixes the two together before rubbing it on his face. He hates the feeling of the lead against his skin but father insists. He doesn’t want Alastor to look at all like his mother. Alastor is supposed to look like his father, white. Once he’s finished with that he grabs the glass jar of Madam Jones hot comb oil and dips his comb in it. He brushes out his hair, tugging through the coils and letting the chemical mixture straighten it.
When he’s finished he looks in the mirror and can only see his father in himself, his skin is lighter than his mothers and his hair is straight. Even his facial features looked more like his father than his mother. He sighs as he walks towards the dining room where his father was reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of tea, he looks at his mother, who was setting the table up for breakfasts, and spots a faint bruise blooming around her eye. Alastor balls his hands into fists that familiar rage bubbling in his stomach but he forces himself to stay calm as he walks over to the table. His mother fills his plate and he eats quietly staring at it.
-~*~-
Velvette was getting pissed off. Vox has been such an annoying cunt lately. Alastor had been locked in that ugly cell for a month now and Vox was either torturing the deer or obsessing over torturing him. Velvette didn’t have many friends outside of her girlfriend, Melissa, and her allies in the Vee’s, so yeah she was being a sentimental dumbass about this, but could you blame her?
Besides it wasn’t entirely because they were ‘friends’ or whatever, there were only so many black overlords and not at all shockingly racism was rampant in hell, she wasn’t gonna lose another one. Well she supposed technically Alastor was creole and, goddammit, focus Velvette!
She wanted to get Alastor out of here so that she could y’know finally get that planned gossip spa day, definitely that. She just needed a plan, she knew that Alastor worked with Charlie Morningstar's stupid little redemption hotel, and everyone in hell knew that the princess was the universe’s biggest sap, she could probably just go to her. Actually wait, that was a great idea, she wouldn’t even technically be betraying the Vee’s! She really was the best.
“Babe-” Melissa says which snaps Velvette out of her thoughts, they were on a date at Dante’s Inferno, the best restaurant in Sin City and she couldn’t even focus on her girlfriend, how rude.
“Sorry love, just frustrated that Val fucked up my studio.”
“Still on about that?”
“You know it.”
Melissa laughs and Velvette was sure that if she was a cartoon her pupils would’ve turned heart shaped, sure she was a cold hearted business mogul and overlord but she still loved a few people, and Melissa was one of those people.
-~*~-
Charlie to put it nicely was so stressed she was losing her mind, Alastor had been gone for a month and half now and the Hazbin Hotel desperately needed its hotelier. Charlie darts through the lobby, almost crashing into Vaggi.
“Watch out!”
“Sorry babe!”
Charlie vaults over an empty couch and ends up at the reception desk out of breath to see a line of sinners looking for assistance.
“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”
“Heres your key!”
“Vaggi’s working on the broken TV’s.”
“No, I can't make the barkeep nicer.”
“Niffty isn’t that creepy! But yes I can have her make sure to clean your room while you're out.”
“The hot towels are in the fridge labeled hot towels.”
“Please stop ringing the bell ‘just for fun’.”
“Group therapy is at nine PM every day and there's an extra session on weekends at nine AM.”
Before she can make half of a dent in the line her phone buzzes and jumps out of her hand.
“Oh crap! I’ve gotta get this! Someone will be right with the rest of you!” She says and runs out of the lobby into a broom closet.
She hasn’t checked her phone yet but she hopes it’s the same thing she dreams about. Her mom calling her again for the first time in eight years, saying ‘hey Charlie tell your dad I’m sorry I left and I’m coming back home!’ and then Lilith tells Charlie what she did to drive the queen of hell away and then everyone's happy! That has yet to happen, but that doesn’t mean it's impossible. However that is not what this is, an unknown number is calling.
Charlie answers tentatively and a clear British voice comes through. “Is this Charlotte Morningstar?”
“Velvette?!” Charlie exclaims, more angrily than she would’ve liked, but Velvette was a Vee so she was working with the people who kidnapped Alastor.
“Listen Charlie, and I mean listen, shut up, I’m using my girlfriend's phone for this so Vox doesn’t find out. Listen, you and your little hotel parade need to come fetch Alastor. I’m not telling you this because I care or anything! But it’s boring, Vox is just torturing him all the time, I don’t even get to talk to him, which is a shame because we had plans to- forget about it! Just come get that stupid deer before I wring Vox’s neck!” Before Charlie can fully process anything that just happened Velvette hangs up on her.
“Vaggi holy shit!” Charlie shouts as she runs out of the closet looking for her fallen angel girlfriend. She definitely runs into some hotel guests in her panic but people seem to get the idea and get out of her way as she sprints towards the kitchens to see if she can find Vaggi.
-~*~-
Lucifer is laying on a pile of rubber ducks and slowly letting it swallow him when the knock on his door comes. He sits up, or tries to, drowning in the mountain of his own rubbery creations.
“I’ll…I’ll be right there! Who-whoever it is!” He calls out as he flounders out of the ducks.
He grabs one and glares at it. “Traitors, all of you.” He says before remembering what he’s supposed to be doing. As he runs for the door he tosses the duck back into the pile.
He opens it to see his beautiful, wonderful, and delightful daughter Charlie standing next to her tough girlfriend, whose name he could not remember, man he needed to work on that.
“Charlie, Charlie's girlfriend, come on in!” he says with a wide smile and throws open the door. The two women walk in, it’s then that Lucifer realizes he really misread their faces, they both look apprehensive and worried.
“Dad, me and Vaggi need to talk to you.” So that was the woman's name, Vaggi, he would try to remember that.
“About what Char-char?”
“Well you know Alastor, right?”
“Who?”
“The…the hotelier dad,” Charlie sighs seemingly disappointed and Lucifer has to look away, wow he feels really shitty about this one “he’s about seven feet tall, really red, deer features-”
“Ohhh yeah! The bellhop, Red Guy, Bambi! I haven’t seen him around lately, lucky me!”
“Sir you haven’t seen him because he’s been kidnapped.” Vaggi interjects, squeezing Charlie's hand.
“Aww you don’t have to call me that Vaggi, call me Lu- wait what?”
“Yeah dad- Alastors been- been kidnapped and I’m really worried and I need- we need your help-” Charlie says, trying, and failing, to stifle tears.
“Welllll Char-Char you know I can’t really huuuurt sinners, can’t really do anything with ‘em so I don’t know what I can do. But nobody gets away with making my daughter cry so I’m at your service, as much as I can be at least!”
“We know that sir, sorry Lu, old habits.” Vaggi says as she comforts Charlie, rubbing the woman's back softly. “We need you to be a distraction and do some healing, that’s all, can you do that?”
“Oh distraction and healing? That’s easy! What's the plan?!”
-~*~-
Charlie crouches just outside the entertainment district after going over the plan with the team again. She watches as her father flies off into the heart of the entertainment district, close enough to Vee tower to give them cover but not close enough that the Vee’s will assume this is about them.
With that she follows Vaggi’s instructions as the woman tells the three groups to split up. Baxter and Niffty were going to break into Vox’s lab to look for more information and provide cover. Angel Dust and Cherri Bomb were going to destroy as many of Valentino’s sets as they could, as well as distract the moth. However Charlie and Vaggi have the most important job, they have to rescue Alastor.
When the first golden light shoots off in the distance they go. Sprinting towards Vee tower and hoping nobody gets killed.
-~*~-
Alastor had a headache, which wasn’t uncommon these days but it was worse than usual, the loud explosions in the distance did not make it easier. He was laying in yet another puddle of red. Eyes squeezed shut and limbs twitching.
-~*~-
Alastor was fourteen, he’s been having a wonderful week. Neither he nor his mother have set off his father, he scored excellently on his recent English essay, he’d finally mastered Bye Bye Blackbird on the piano in the local library, and, best of all, he finally got the job as an assistant at the local radio station. He’s smiling wide as he walks towards the front door. He opens it and sees red. So. Much. Red.
His father is panting, hunched over what remains of his mother, the man holds an axe in his hands, organs are spilled out across the floor blood stains the walls and ceiling, and Alastor, Alastor is frozen, the smile his mother once adored stuck to his face like glue. He stands in that doorway for what could’ve been an eternity, expression locked in a horrified smile, just staring at the blood, at the axe, at the man, and at the corpse. Then the man turns around.
“About time you got home, mon petite bebe.” Alastor stumbles back. “Non non none of that. Come inside.” The man says brandishing the axe and suddenly all the rage in Alastor’s mind seems so attainable, his smile widens and he obeys.
When his father rushes at him he wraps his hands around the handle as well. The two end up spinning around and slipping in the red.His father is stronger but he is also propelled by blind rage, Alastor has been wanting to act on this for years. He manages to tear the axe from the man's hands and returns the favor. Slamming the axe into flesh over and over again. The sickening squelch of metal sinking into flesh, when the man's corpse hits the floor Alastor laughs and hits it again and again and again, tearing it into pieces, chunks of bone and organ litter the family room and Alastor pants as he stands above the two of them.
He drops the axe and rushes to his mothers side, closing her eyes and prettying her up with his red red hands. He carefully rearranges her organs back into her body cavity. When he gets it as close to perfect as possible he grabs a towel and starts sopping up the blood. He wanted to dress her in her favorite dress, she deserved it. All the while he doesn’t spare even a glance towards his fathers corpse. The man didn’t deserve his respect.
-~*~-
Lucifer was getting bored. He didn’t care much for destruction. Like sure he got the appeal but it wasn’t his go to. He preferred cooking and baking, oh and rubber ducks, but who didn’t love rubber ducks, Lilith didn’t. There he goes again being sad for no reason. He keeps making finger guns and shooting out blasts of angelic energy.
“Pew pew pew! Hey where’s the guy, the blue guy with the uhhhh with the TV for a head? He made my daughter cry, I wanna talk to him! Come out, come out wherever you are!”
More screams, man Lucifer felt a little bad but his daughter wanted to rescue the bellhop so he’d do his part, besides it’s not like anyone was hurt, just terrified. Eventually though he gets his wish and a bolt of electricity shoots out from a broken TV and Vox ends up standing there crossing his arms.
“Oh my liege, the king of hell, you realize you could’ve just asked for an audience.” The TV demon sneers.
“Yeah but this is way more fun, don’t you agree?” Lucifer says and sends one bolt of magic into the air, a symbol to the teams to act.
“I’m certain it is, now what would you like to discuss.”
“Welllll a little birdy told me that you made my baby girl cry and what kinda dad would I be if I let that happen?”
“Oh my well it’s not my fault the truth about her hotel hurt her, give her my apologies.”
“TRUTH?!” Lucifer shouts, a burst of fire in escaping his lips, his eyes inverting and his horns growing from his head. “None of that was true!”
“Is the king of hell, the first sin, Gods former favorite who is now despised by everyone lecturing me?! I’m simply a measly sinner, not the man who killed everyone.”
Lucifer’s eyes widen and a pit of guilt grows in his stomach, the same pit that has been there for millennia, he swallows tears and glowers at Vox, all he has to do is distract him long enough for the girls to rescue the bellhop. He had to focus.
-~*~-
Lucifer is stumbling back from God, he is no longer a fledgling instead fully grown.
“Father I just wanted to help Lilith- I didn’t- I didn’t know that would happen! I didn’t know it could happen!”
“You have disappointed Me son.”
“Father plea-” He breaks into a scream as Michael slices off one of his wings.
“On your knees before the Father Pride, do not forget your place as a sin.”
“Michael please I’m your brother I’m Lu-”
“Do not say that name”
Hot tears pool in Lucifers and run down his cheeks as he sinks to his knees and stares up at his family, at his twin brother and his Father.
“Please Fa-”
Michael growls and grabs the collar of Lucifer's robes. Flying them into the air and slamming Lucifer into one of the marble pillars in heaven's courtroom.
“Do not! Lucifer has been killed and you wear his face! Do not refer to Father like that!”
“Michael please I-I am Lucif-”
“I don’t know how long Lucifer let you fester inside him but it was traitorous! Luckily for him he’s forgivable.”
Michael shoves him harder against the pillar and Lucifer screams looking to his Father for help but God simply shakes his head and looks the other way, shame and terror curl in Lucifer’s chest and he lets out a sob. He hears a disgusted scoff and Michael drops him, Lucifer doesn’t even attempt to catch himself, simply letting his body crash onto the floor. Michael raises his sword again to chop off another wing.
“Michael,” God finally speaks, looking at His children, “stop.”
Lucifer looks up, a smile threatening to spread across his face.
“He has a punishment ahead of him far worse, and if there’s a chance that your brother is still in there despite Pride then you must be gentler to him.”
Lucifer’s stomach drops, couldn’t Father tell it was still him? Or perhaps this was what he deserved, maybe this was even kindness from Father, one final blessing.
-~*~-
Alastor groans and flattens his ears against his head, it was getting far too loud for his tastes, the sounds of scuffles getting closer to him and his cell. His less injured hand twitches towards his staff and he manages to grab it and pull it to his chest. The weight gives a strange comfort. He hopes everything quiets down soon.
He hears a strange scraping sound and he turns his head to look at the door which has the tip of an angelic spear peeking through the seam, strange, it almost looked like Vaggi’s spear. He closes his eyes again. The scraping continues, annoying, didn’t they know he was trying to regenerate.
Then he hears a different, more grating scraping and alarmed cursing, he opens his eyes to see the door was moving, differently than usual, it was tipping towards him, strange. Wait, not strange, bad, very bad! He was going to be crushed and heaven knows how long regeneration from that would take. He tries to squirm out of the way, unfortunately when one's bones have been beaten into a powder it is not very easy to move.
Luckily someone darts in, a short gray woman with a spear, she reminds him of Vaggi. Before he has time to fully put two and two together the door is shoved in the opposite direction where it falls to the floor. As Alastor begins to comprehend he’s being rescued he spots Charlie running away towards a window and shooting blasts of her powers out, signalling for someone.
Alastor looks at the two young women, more than a little confused about what's happening, normally he’s quick on the uptake he must be extremely injured. He wonders what will happen next.
-~*~-
Lucifer notices the rainbow fireworks coming from Vee tower, healing time, got it, wow he was a great dad!
“Well you have been a nightmare to talk to Box, but I have got to skedaddle, toodles.”
“It’s Vo- Wait what?!”
With one final wave Lucifer teleports to his daughter in a blaze of gilded fire, she leads him into a tiny, and ugly, cell that was stained with blood, it was sickening. Lucifer takes off his hat quickly and vomits into it.
“Holy- holy shit that's- yeah that’s a lot of blood, s’that all from the bellhop.”
“Yes si- yes Lu. The blueprints say this hellhole is brand new.”
“Okay- okay yeah rescuing him was a good idea.” Lucifer reaches into his hat, which was a pocket dimension so his hand didn’t get covered in vomit, thank you very much.
He pulls out his medkit, which was just a small pencil pouch with a portal to a pocket dimension inside it. He opens it and takes out a pair of latex gloves, coral colored, of course, a curved needle and some suture, some rolls of bandages and of course a vial or two of angelic blood. Technically any kind of Angel flesh would heal just about anyone but blood was the easier to gather from himself and Lucifer wasn’t a monster so he wouldn’t harvest it from the fallen exorcists, though he would admit he felt the urge to.
Lucifer walks over to the bellhop's broken body, holy shit this was bad. He was broken and bruised with the telltale yellow sweat of a sinner regenerating from something particularly bad. His face was flushed red from fever, a quick sniff of the air reveals the scent of rotting blood and a deep infection. His antlers were broken, still covered in the velvet that they get during early growth and his limbs that had any semblance of bone structure were bent at odd angles, the rest looked to be devoid of any bones other than shards, this wasn’t gonna be easy.
The whole not easy thing only got worse when three figures burst in. A moth demon, a TV demon, and a doll demon. The Vees. Whatever their names were. Charlie jumps into a fighting pose. However Vaggi thinks quicker, grabbing the woman around the waist and tugging her back over to Alastor and Lucifer, grabbing Lucifer’s arm as Charlie catches on and grabs Alastors hand, Lucifer snaps and in a blast of gilded fire the four of them teleport to the…Palace of Pride. Whoopsies! He’d been aiming for the hotel and panicked.
“Oh jeez, sorry I meant the hotel but-“
“It’s fine Lu, let’s get Alastor taken care of though.”
“Too close! To fucking close!” Charlie exclaims but picks up the bellhops, thankfully unconscious now, body and carries him into the nearest bedroom.