Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Pious Park

“Golly, Christina, you've got the biggest Bible Guys collection ever!”

"Thanks, Doughy!”

Orel, Doughy and Christina were playing in the park on a warm, sunny day and having the time of their lives. Orel giggled. “Yeah! Daniel with shoe shine polish?! Wow! I didn't even know about that one!”

They all laid in the grass later, looking at the sky. Christina exhaled. "Boy, I'm glad we're meeting up after church! These days are the best!”

“They sure are! Say, do you wanna bring some of your friends next week, Christina?" Doughy turned to her. “Sure!" She smiled. Orel sat up. “Oh boy! We can bring Tommy and his friends too! The more the holier!" They all marveled at the idea when a gruff voice interrupted. "Hey, kids! Off the grass, please! Time to start painting it green!” 

"Aw…" They all hung their heads. “Wull, maybe we can-" Orel was cut off by Christina's watch beeping. “Ooh, I better go anyway. God will know where I am, but my mom'll be worried! Well, sorta." She looked sad, knowing she was lying to herself. “Yeah, we should head out too." Orel looked just as disappointed. “But, we'll see each other next week, won't we? And with more friends?" 

“You bet!" Christina grinned. “I gotta go. Bye, guys, see you next week!" With a final wave, she departed. Orel and Doughy headed the other way too while painters began to coat the grass with Gary's Grass Painter (Make your grass look like The Emerald Isles without the beer cans.)

“Boy, Orel, I wish she could live near us! Christina sure is fun!" Orel laughed. “Yeah! Besides saying the Lord's prayer differently, we all have everything in common!" 

“Yeah. I know she has to go home, but do you still wanna play?" 

“Can't, Doughy. Mom and Dad get real sore if I'm not around for Sunday dinner. I don't want it to affect Block and Shapey." He kicked a rock with frustration as they entered the sidewalk. “Oh. Boy, what am I gonna do? My parents don't want me home yet!” Doughy fidgeted with his fingers. Orel was confused about why he was so upset. Doughy's never liked being alone, but why does he seem so scared? “Doughy, why not just explore the town again? Sure, the library is closed and Stephanie's off work, but maybe-”

"I don't wanna be alone!” He finally spat, stopping in his tracks. "I know you and Christina have been through so much this past year, so I didn't wanna mention it, but I'm struggling too!” Orel bit his lip. "Well, you can have dinner with us! If we hurry we can play in my room and talk privately for a while, okay?” Orel's smile always calmed Doughy, even at his most anxious. "Thanks, Orel.” He knew they were low on time, but he couldn't help hugging his best friend for his kindness. Orel hugged back and his warm embrace made Doughy's cheeks pink.

Christina's face showed that her mood soured as she approached her house. After a few moments of stalling on the porch, she opened the door. “Christina?" She flinched at Poppit's loud voice from the kitchen. “Yes, Mom!" She tried to sound sweet but rolled her eyes. “Good, dinner is in twenty minutes! Wash up." Nice to see you too, Mom. Froening, she undid her mary janes and went upstairs. 

Florence hummed as she prepared dinner in her apartment. “Ten minutes, Anne dear!" She called.

"Okay, Momma!” Anne was coloring in the living room. There was a knock at the door, confusing Florence. If it's Dottie, I swear… she knows weekends are reserved for me and Anne! She paused in her steps and blushed. And Rod sometimes… She giggled aloud at the thought. The door interrupted her fantasy with another knock knock knock. “Coming!" Her patience was whittling away.

“Roger?! What on earth?!" 

“Uh, I'm here to pick up my daughter, Florence. I'm a little early, I got off duty, so…”

"You know I'm having dinner with her!”

Anne heard the commotion and paused. Her little hands began to shake. "Ever since I began dating, you've purposefully been trying to sabotage our relationship with our daughter! Not that she's property, but I'd call her my daughter at this point!” Her lip quivered. “...Dinner I cooked…” Am I a burden on Mommy?

“Sorry, Florence. You gonna cry?" She felt like it, her eyes were all ready to tear. Lord, did she want to scream. But Roger was getting cocky and would have relished her angry tears. So she did something she felt she needed to; reverted her sadness to fury. Roger's smug smile regressed to regret and horror as her tear-filmed eyes were betrayed by a livid expression he'd obviously never seen on her. “Look, Officer, you can stay for dinner to make Anne happy, but my time with my daughter is sacred. If you try to undermine it or cheat your way into ruining it, I can and will see you in court.” She poked his chest aggressively to prove her anger, sending him temporarily losing balance and whining. She smiled. “You stinking coward." She dragged him by the arm into the kitchen and pulled out a chair at the table, patting it condescendingly. “Get ready for dinner, dear." Before she left the room, her expression turned serious. “And I meant what I said by my daughter. I know everything about her, I adore her and I don't hide her from women on dates. And I don't recall you promising to always love her after birthing her. In fact, you were nowhere near the delivery room like a real partner would be because one look at my exposed lower body made you cry.” 

"Gosh, Florence, yer' all mean now! What the heck happened to the girl who used to do everything I told her to and was a quiet church mouse?”

"She became a woman who found herself while doing everything for the daughter she wishes she could see every day.”

She poked her head into the living room. “Dinner's almost ready, sweet-" Her victory was shattered seeing Anne curled up on the couch with her eyes shut tightly and her fingers in her ears.

Doughy and Orel entered the Puppington house to Block tying Shapey up with Bloberta's yarn. “Orel! Doughy! Play?" Shapey looked at them with intention but toppled over from his feet being bound by yarn. “We can't, guys. We hafta talk in private. But instead of almost maiming yourselves, here.” He reached into his backpack and pulled out some Bible Guys. "Play with these, I know you'll love ‘em!” He gave them a side hug. "See you at dinner!” Doughy smiled as they walked up the stairs. "Gee, Orel, you're sure helping your brothers a lot more!”

“Someone has to." Unbeknownst to Orel, his beloved figurines were now being jammed in an electric outlet. “Thanks, Orel!" Block clapped as Shapey’s actions started melting the plastic and forming a fire hazard.

Orel closed the door to ensure privacy, as he sensed how much Doughy truly needed to get off his chest. “So let's talk, Doughy. Why are you so scared of being alone?" They both sat on the bed and Doughy noticed slight hurt in Orel's face. “And why couldn't you tell me, your best friend?”

"I-it’s nothing to do with trust, Orel! Please believe me! It's just…” He sighed. "After everything with Mr. Creepler, I never really got to talk to anyone. I got stuck outside my own house that night again, then everything with me discovering I'm gay, it was resolved, but…” He started tearing up again. "My parents still don't love me, I know they don't, and I was stuck in the woods after people thought I was a sinner for liking you as more than a friend, and you got shot and Christina had big problems and…” He resorted to sobs. “All these weird side effects in my life, and no one asks about me! The only people I feel like I can turn to are you, Christina and Stephanie, but I can't bother you when you've all had even worse issues than mine! Now I'm going through what might be puberty and having nightmares and I can't be alone, and Jesus and God aren't answering me, Orel!" His sobs were violent and loud. Orel watched in absolute horror. What do you do for someone so upset when they're so amazing? This isn't like Dad's meltdown… Doughy needs me! But I can't hug him when he's this- Doughy started smacking the side of his head and breathing with labor. What do I do for my best friend?! He resented his own springing tears. Then he remembered what he'd said minutes ago: “...We have everything in common!" Hmm… how would I want someone comforting me? Flashbacks washed over him from similar meltdowns he'd had:

The last Pious Scout Trip:

"Orel! Stop screaming!” Mr. Carvedson shook Orel's shoulders, worsening his shock. "B-but my camping bible is missing!” He managed between sobs. "So you've said, ya sound like a broken record! We'll look, but you need to stop behaving like a brat!”

"Mr. Carvedson? I don't think he can help it. Orel, do you need help-” Tommy walked over reluctantly. "Tommy, go do your pray training! And Orel? Crying boys attract the devil!”

Age 7

He clapped his hands over his ears and sobbed in the living room, rocking. Shapey bawled on the couch, unattended. “Orel!" Clay barked, coming into the room. "Don't you know I'm drinking, uh, I mean, scrubbing kindling? Yeah, that'll work. Scrubbing kindling in the study?!”

"I'm sorry, but Shapey's just crying so loud!” He looked at Clay and sniffled. "Can't you hold him, please? Make him stop, Dad!”

“Well, your mother's in the shower, as women are wont to do, and consoling a weeping baby is women's work. As I mentioned, the woman is in the shower. Quite a conundrum that makes ya wish God didn't hate lesbians, amirite? Then we could have more than one!” Clay laughed, and Orel forced himself to smile though he didn't understand what Clay was talking about. "But what about Shapey? He's so upset, Dad!”

"That's because his little, stupid mind can't comprehend God yet, so he doesn't see how great the world is.”

"But what about the noise?! It's loud everywhere, I can't stand it! And it's raining out!”

"I dunno, son.” There was a dismissive impatience in his voice as he turned to go back to the study. “Wait for your mother to come back from bleaching her legs or whatever. You can wait, it's not that loud! You're making more noise than he is!" Hearing Clay leave upset Shapey even more. His cries got higher. Looking around urgently, Orel only had one choice.

He resorted to staying barely dry under the porch, shivering violently.

Besides meditation, what would I want right now? I wouldn't wanna be hugged or touched too much, or told how I oughta feel, but I'd want someone maybe touching my back so I'd know they were there for me! He put his hand on Doughy's back. It slowly evolved into a soft, zero pressure hug. “Thanks, Orel.” Doughy's meek voice wavered but expressed gratitude.

Christina sat at the dinner table, dreading the judgements she'd be pummeled with. “How was your day, Mom?" Poppit had her back turned as she brought dinner from the counter. "Not so good, Chrissy.” She turned around. Christina had keen observation skills and immediately noted makeup to cover her mother's eyes that were puffy from crying. “Oh, Mom. I'm sorry." 

“Well, one of us has to work, even Sundays if we're gonna keep living here." 

“I know. You keep telling me. When I come of age, I'll get a job so I can help. I know you don't like library work." She looked at Poppit with sympathy. Just because she's cruel doesn't mean I hafta be like her! “Are you nuts, Christina?" She placed dinner on the table. "A man will work for you. If you join the workforce, a man may find you attractive, maybe even a little sexy if you're a waitress. Or a receptionist at a dentist's office.”

"Isn't that how you met-" 

“And look what happened." Poppit's expression soured from know-it-all to sickened. “Sure, my cleavage caught his attention, he liked my smile and makeup, and boy, you shoulda seen his face when I got out from behind the desk in my heels and bent over!” She bit her lip. Christina understood enough of this speech to be uncomfortable. "We married for fun, Christina. Then I got pregnant way too early, ruined my figure and both of our moods, and then I got pregnant again four years later, and you can bet it was all over then!” Christina's face fell. “Point is, dear, I married for fun. One should get married because the man is impressed by the woman's looks and homemaking skills, and the woman finds the man attractive and rich. Make sense?" Christina couldn't even humor this after shamelessly being told she and her brother were mistakes. “Uh, Mom? Did you mean to make more food?" 

"Nope. I want my figure back, and you're getting fat…ter. Eat your dinner, after we say grace anyway.” Christina rolled her eyes and assumed prayer position. Good thing Orel predicted this and gave me half of his sandwich for later! She patted her pocket to ensure its safety. 

“Well, that was a great dinner, Florence! But time for me to take the little lady home.” Roger was practically out the door with Anne in his grasp. “Anne, is there something you wanted to talk about?" Florence ignored him and pushed hair out of Anne's face. “We can talk it out now!" Anne went to speak and Roger cut her off with a sarcastic laugh. “Really, Ms. Paperteeth? Now who's cutting into time with her?” Florence forced herself into his face. "Our fighting is ruining her confidence, Roger!” She hissed. "Did you see her talk through dinner once?! Me neither! We might need to talk this out-”

"Florence, Anne is my daughter and you're trying to upstage me! Playing God is for God! C’mon, Anne. We'll take the police cruiser home and flash the lights so no spooky criminals try and hurt us!” Anne waved to her mother with her little green suitcase in hand while her other hand was still occupied by Roger. With the close of a door, Florence was alone again. 

“Better now that you cried it out, Doughy?" Orel sat adjacent on the bed to his friend. “Yeah… and talked it out too. Thanks, Orel.”

"And I'm serious, we hafta help each other out. Just ‘cuz I've got troubles doesn't mean I don't wanna help you through yours! Always talk to me. We need each other.” With a nod and a smile, they agreed through a long hug. "Ya know what helps me right in the moment?” Orel said, still embracing the hug. "Yeah, Orel?” Doughy finally broke apart. Orel scrambled to one of his shelves and pulled out a Tibetan meditation record. “Meditation! I learned it from Stephanie!" 

“‘Meditation?’" 

“Thanks for dinner, Mom." Christina went into the backyard and privately took out the sandwich Orel had given her. She noted the colorful sunset that was forming and felt herself relax as she took in the evening breeze.

Florence was finishing the dishes when there was a knock at the door. Her face twitched. I swear to God, Roger…

She answered the door to a joyous surprise. “Rod and Stephanie! Hi!" 

“Hiya, Pink." Rod kissed her cheek. “Sorry it's last minute, but I know how tough Sunday nights are for you, so we wanted to know if you'd like to come back to my house for dessert!" 

“It's usually a me and Dad thing, but you look like you need a break from a sad routine.” Stephanie smiled. "So, Rev’s house for dessert and a game?” Florence stood, stunned. "You okay, honey?” Rod took her hand. She broke into a grin and started crying happy tears as she engulfed Stephanie and Rod into a hug.

Four people were changing their evenings for the better.

Chapter Text

“Okay, it's a little weird wearin' your bedsheets, Orel.” Doughy assumed a meditation position dubiously. “Just trust me, Doughy.” Orel started the record and sat next to Doughy as both of their expressions softened. "Boy, that's nice." Doughy's voice was near a whisper. “Told you.” Orel smiled. “Now, breathe with me." They shared an inhale. “Now close your eyes and empty your mind. You might have a few negative thoughts at first, but I promise you it's worth it." Orel inhaled. Relax, think about the music, your comfortable sheets, your best friend and the day you had with other friends, God's love… he waited for intrusive thoughts, but they didn't come. Meditation was another staple of spirituality he'd perfected. 

Doughy, however, had a bit of trouble at first. “Ew! Karl, he's in the house again!" Came the voice of Kim. “Will you get lost?!" Barked Karl. "Jesus hates whiners,” Chimed Reverend Putty. “Oh look, it's Orel's shadow with the annoying voice!" Joe's laugh made Doughy flinch and whimper. "Just don't be dyslexic!” Agnes barked. "Doughy!” Principal Fakey's furious delivery brought back bad memories of his first time being in Buried Pleasures. "You have an ear infection? Maybe try losing weight and that'll help.” Nurse Bendy's tone showed a lack of caring. “It's Orel Puppingdumb and Dopey!” Finally, "Don't question your elders, Doughy!” From Orel. Then came… his own voice? Reading a script for Orel's movie: “I'm a scaredy cat." That's what Orel thinks of me?! It played like a broken record: I'm a scaredy cat. I'm a scaredy cat. Doughy whimpered again, but tried to tune into the moment. “Ohhhhhm," Soothed the record. The room was warm, his ‘clothes’ comfortable and his best friend was across from him. With another inhale and all of this beauty in mind, he smiled and found his peace.

Christina now sat in her backyard with an easel, painting the dusk before her. I think I found my new hobby! She felt the mild breeze on her face and embraced it with a smile. What stop motion is to Orel and baseball is to Doughy, painting is to me. Secluded from her mother for now and getting some coveted silence, Christina concluded, Maybe being alone isn't always a bad thing. Especially not with God and Jesus painting with me! Aw, heck, I'll add them in the picture! She did. 

Florence sat in the back of Stephanie's truck. “So, you wanna talk about how you cried for five minutes?" Rod finally baited. "Dad.” Stephanie shot him a look. "But yeah, I'm curious too. You okay, Florence?”

“Yes, just… it's so difficult.”

"I know saying goodbye to your daughter must be awful.” Stephanie's voice held sympathy. "I can't imagine.”

"Especially to a wuss like Roger.” Rod rolled his eyes. "It's not just that.” Florence hung her head. "I can't control my anger around him, and it's clearly affecting Anne for the worse. He completely ignores that she's miserable, and I can't do a thing about it for another weekend.” She sniffled. Rod took a deep breath. “Well, we're at my house. You still wanna come in? I mean, we drove ya here." 

“Might make you feel better." Stephanie pulled into the driveway. Florence nodded and giggled.

Rod stood in front of the door and dug through his pockets. “Where’s the darn key? One second, guys.” Stephanie saw Florence's solemn expression out of the corner of their eye and put a comforting arm around her. "Thanks, Stephanie,” She said warmly. Rod had left a light on, and still in Stephanie's hold she imagined the three of them, Dolly and Anne all together in the living room as a family. Someday… she thought wistfully as she heard the house key turn. 

“Dinner, everyone!" Bloberta's voice brought Orel and Doughy out of their meditative state. “Well?" Orel took Doughy's hand to help him up. “Wow… that was amazing, Orel.” His stomach growled. "I am hungry though.”

"Yeah. Let's get changed back.”

Their zen state and smiles were interrupted by Block and Shapey literally running into them. “Ow! That's my bad leg!" Wailed Orel. “Orel! Are you okay?!" Doughy took his hand.

“Orel!" Clay snapped from downstairs. “Why are your brothers running in the house, and more importantly why aren't you doing anything about it?!" Orel gulped.

"Mm, you boys look relaxed. Doughy! Shall I get a bed for you to live here?” He failed to understand Bloberta's sarcasm. "Gee, that'd be swell, Mrs. Puppington!” He sat down. "Golly! Split pea meat casserole? Boy, Mrs. Puppington, you sure are a clever chef!” His massaging of her ego made her smile and got her back on his side. "Thanks, dear.” Shapey and Block arrived at the table and immediately started dueling with their butter knives. "No, that's dangerous!" Doughy took their knives. “And your mom worked real hard, let's not ruin dinner!" Orel looked at him, impressed. “Wow, Doughy, that's some initiative!" 

“Thanks, Orel." I gotta prove to him I'm no scaredy cat! Bloberta reentered the room with a big plate of steamed vegetables. “Yes, very good, Doughy." She raised her voice and added, “If only all men in this house showed such initiative and came to dinner on time!" Clay could be heard stumbling over something in the other room. “Orel left ‘is SuperGod action figures out again?!” 

"Hi, family and Doughy!” He walked into the kitchen, clearly drunk and plastering on a fake smile. The only one to answer him as well as not look at him with judgement was Doughy. "Hi, Mr. Puppington!" Clay chuckled warmly, though it was cooled by its own insincerity. “Sorry, dinner was just so late tonight, I'm a little delayed." He stared daggers at Bloberta, smiling furiously. “So, I'm ready for whatever you made now, if you don't wanna push dinner back another ten minutes." Bloberta rolled her eyes and sat at the table. “My mistake, one just gets sick of her husband coming home late from the bar and complaining dinner is cold! A bit tricky, even for the woman who cooks your precious meal each night." She cleared her throat. “Doughy, you're our guest… again. Do you wanna say grace?” She looked at him with encouragement. Doughy noticed Orel's disappointment. "Uh, how about Orel says it with me?”

"Suits me.” She shrugged. Shapey screamed.

Christina shivered a bit from the now cool breeze but watched the sun go down. Beautiful, she thought as she grabbed her painting. I'm only gonna show this to Andrew, Rolly, Orel and Doughy. They're the only ones who deserve to see it.

9 PM

Florence, Stephanie and Rod sipped their wine and laughed around the coffee table. “So, satisfactory night, Florence?" Stephanie nodded to her. "Yes. Thanks, Stephanie.” She was grinning, overwhelmed by the kindness she'd received tonight. Rod, sitting in the middle of the couch, gave them both a side hug, pulling them all together. “Love you guys." 

“Okay, on that note, I gotta go home." Stephanie smiled. “Need a ride, Florence?" 

“Yes, I suppose. I just wish I didn't hafta go home to Dottie." Florence seemingly deflated. Rod bit his lip and took her hand. “Maybe you don't have to.” Florence turned her head. "Rod, darling, are you suggesting-”

"Stay. Stay with me tonight. Heck, life's short. Wanna move in?" Stephanie was stunned and stared with an open mouth. Florence squealed and hugged him. “Yes! Yes, Rod!" She kissed him on the cheek. "Wow, just… wow." Stephanie stood up and squeezed her shoulder. “You tied old Revs down. You're a literal goddess, and I'm proud to have you in the family.” Florence jumped up and hugged her. “Take care of her, Dad." She winked at him over Florence's shoulder. “Oh, what the heck?" He jumped up and started a family group hug.

“Okay, Doughy, time for a ride home, yeah?" Clay walked into Orel's room. “Okay. See ya tomorrow at school, Orel." Doughy smiled sadly and grabbed his backpack. “Bye, Doughy." Orel waved sadly.

Stephanie drove off with Rod and Florence waving to them from the porch one last time. "Do you wanna take an evening stroll?” Rod put his head on her shoulder. She giggled. "Whatever you want, Mr. Romantic!” Taking her hand in his, they started a walk.

“Okay, bye, Doughy." 

“Bye, Mr. Puppington. Thanks for the ride-" 

"Gotta go!” He peeled off, leaving Doughy alone in the dark again. He let out a few gasps indicating sobs, but fought the urge. No! Gotta make this sadness into anger! “Boy, does that make me mad!" He spoke aloud though he was aware he was alone. I'll prove it! I can be tough! With a grunt, he punched the Latchkey mailbox. That was a mistake. “Ouch!" His fist throbbed with pain and the shock sent him falling, landing on his knee. “Ow! Ow, ow, ow!" He sat down and cried. He peered at his house and considered going in. He could just make out the silhouette of his parents in the living room, they were definitely home. Unfortunately, he heard their voices in his head, mocking him. "Oh, that fat boy fell down! Man up, you overgrown baby!” His mother's voice echoed. “If you don't get outta here, I'll break your stupid leg too!" Karl laughed at his cruel joke. Doughy swallowed hard. “I gotta meditate." But he couldn't assume position. In fact, in hurt too much to stand up and he noted a reasonable puddle of blood forming on his pant leg. Ooh, it hurts to even move this knee. He sobbed with frustration. Darn it, why can't anything just go right?! He couldn't fight it anymore; he began to cry. 

Florence and Rod continued their evening stroll, laughing and embracing each other. “Sure are a lot of stars shimmering on such a warm night." She grabbed his shoulders and looked into his eyes while batting her own. Rod chuckled, blushing. “Guess God wanted us to have some romance." She laughed. “You know I'm an atheist. Now zip it." With a mutual giggle, they kissed. A long, beautiful kiss they both (well, Florence anyway,) deserved.” They broke apart and turned a corner when they heard a noise. "Oh dear! What is that?” Florence paused. Doughy's cries were weak but close to them, so audible. "Is someone crying?” She whispered. "Either that or someone's torturing a cat.” Rod flinched. "Is something there?” Doughy called. "Please help!”

"Doughy?!” They looked at each other.

Doughy regretted talking to possible strangers immediately and began to sweat. Whaddif it's a bad person? Like… Mr. Creepler?! The thought petrified him, and the footsteps of running strangers worsened his anxiety until he heard Florence. “Doughy?! Doughy, honey, is that you?" 

“Ms. Paperteeth?!" 

“And Reverend Putty!" Rod felt necessary to add. 

Doughy wiped his eyes and smiled. He could just make out his heroes. “Reverend Putty! Ms. Paperteeth!" He was relaxed despite his pain. “Dear lord, what happened, kid?!" Rod knelt down next to him, propping him up and supporting his back. “I tried to-to toughen myself up and hurt my fist and fell," He stammered between sniffles. “Aw. Oh gracious, you're bleeding!" Florence kissed his head. “Do you want us to get your parents so they can clean you up?”

"No, please! They'll laugh at me!” He winced. "What?!” Her eyes widened. Rod touched her arm. "His parents are Karl and Kim Latchey, Florence.”

"Oh my.” She thought for a minute. "Oh! I'll clean you up at our house." 

“What?!" Rod disagreed with his girlfriend's kind instincts. “It's not far. Come along, dear. Can you walk?” 

"It hurts, but…" He stood up shakily. “Yeah. Thank you both." His look of gratitude melted Florence's heart and changed Rod's tune. “You're welcome, Doughy." He patted the child's head.

He sat on Rod's couch. “Don't we need to go to the bathroom for this?" He winced again at the pain. Florence laughed warmly. “I'm the mother of a seven year old, sweetie. I've always got stuff for just such emergencies in my bag." 

“Boy, you sure are well prepared, Ms. Paperteeth!" He smiled through his tears. “Please, dear. Call me Florence." She took his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. He felt a blanket of warmth over his heart. "Now this is peroxide, dear. It might sting a bit.”

"I can handle- ow!” He flinched. "I know, Doughy, I know! You're so brave!” He stopped and looked at her with a sniffle. The words I've wanted to hear all night! “You mean that, Florence?" 

“Yup. Now time for some cream, and then the bandage! It's a big scrape, honey, so work with me.”

Rod watched from the hallway, also with a warmed heart. Oh my god… He stared at Doughy, giggling as Florence wrapped his knee. “Done!" She gave it a kiss, and Rod swooned. My girlfriend is a literal angel! 

“Wait! Isn't that dangerous?!" Doughy recoiled. “What's the matter?" Florence looked at him with concern. "My mom and dad never kiss my wounds ‘cuz they say it spreads wuss germs! Come to think of it, they never dress the wounds like you!” Her lip quivered. "I'll risk it for you, sweetheart." She kissed his dressed wound. "Look, Doughy. No germs here.” She stood up and gave him a hug additionally. “And the best part is now, you get a treat for being brave!" 

“Golly, besides a hug, a kiss and not being made fun of for crying?" Florence blinked. “Well, I always keep these for my daughter for these occasions." She reached into her purse and pulled out a candy bar. “Do you like Crispy Church-late Bars?" 

“Boy, do I!" He bounced giddily and took the bar from her. “Okay. I'm going to walk you home now, and you get a good night's sleep before school tomorrow." 

"Sure.” He hung his head but smiled upon eating the chocolate bar. "I'll be right back, Rod,” She called, putting an arm around Doughy’s back. "Okay.” Rod was genuinely blown away by how sweet she was. How did I get so friggin’ lucky?

Approaching the Latchkey house, Doughy felt a wave of dread. "I sure hope I can get in,” He said as he stepped on the porch. "What are you talking about? I can hear your parents from the living room!”

"Well, they've gotten into the habit of not letting me in when they're making whatever that noise is!” Florence blinked again. "I have various questions, but instead of asking, I'm going to do this.” She opened the door. "Florence, no!” He began to shake, but with a hand shielding Doughy's eyes, she led him inside. Kim and Karl screamed. "Just going to bed,” Doughy admitted sheepishly. "I won't bother you when I'm done brushing my teeth, goodnight.” He looked down at Florence, who gave him a confident smile that made him feel safe.

He was asleep in minutes, feeling relaxed and loved.

Christina, meanwhile, found Poppit asleep on the couch. No surprise, a vodka bottle was not far from where she was sitting. Rolling her eyes, she took the couch's blanket and covered Poppit up. “Who's there?" Poppit began to wake up. Oh no. Christina walked swiftly up the stairs. 

Lighting some candles, she assumed prayer position and let out a soft exhale. I feel safe. “Thanks for that, Jesus!" She said enthusiastically.

Stephanie paced her apartment. Just do it, Foamwire-Putty! Your thirsty-ass dad did! She took a deep breath. And it's Dolly!

They picked up their phone in the other room. “Stephanie?" Came the voice of her girlfriend on the other line. “How'd you know?" She giggled.

Dolly was reading on her couch. “‘Cuz you're the only one who knows I'm a night owl. What's up?" 

“Well… uh… I, uh…" 

“Stephanie, it's me." 

“You can tell me anything." 

“Well, Dolly, my dad just invited Florence to move in with him, despite the ‘sinning’ of it." They swallowed. “And since I love you and we aren't blinded by religion like my dad…” 

They wiped sweat from their forehead. "Dolly, will you move in with me?”

Florence and Rod lay in bed, looking at each other with love. "Huh. Strange.” Rod scratched his head. "What's the matter, Rod?”

"It's just… I'm in bed with a woman, but I just wanna talk and hold you. Like, not just have rowdy, wild sex with you.”

“I know how you mean." Florence wrapped an arm around him. “Back when I was with Roger, I used to give in to shut him up. I mean, it did lead to Anne, so it happened for a reason, but still!" 

“That shut Roger up?" 

“Mm-hmm. Even when he just wanted to vent and claimed his was too achy or exhausted for making love, I’d pull him straight under the covers and give him a run for his money, or a rub for his money, be it. Shut that nuisance right up.” Rod gulped. "Oh wow.” He cleared his throat. "Well, maybe how we feel about each other is how people who love each other are supposed to feel?” Florence let out a giggle that made Rod's heart flutter. "Maybe so. And when I do… want you, it won't be one-way hate sex." He was speechless and it made her laugh again. With a hug she said, “We have the rest of the night, you know." He grunted and crossed his legs. "Oh, boy! I'm done. Goodnight, honey." He was out. Florence smiled and patted his head. “Goodnight, late bloomer." 

Orel finished brushing his teeth and grinned into the mirror. "Another great job preventing Satan's cavities! Thanks, God!” He went to leave the bathroom when he was stopped by Block and Shapey. "Are you okay, guys?”

"Orel, we're scared.” Shapey walked closer to him with downcast eyes. "Why? What's the matter?”

"Mom got into another fight with Dad, and she won't come out of their bedroom.”

"We need someone to tuck us in,” Reiterated Block a bit more confidently. Orel's heart sank. “Oh. Uh, okay! Right this way! Ready to finally learn nighttime prayers?”

Orel shook nervously, expecting the worst. His brothers’ room was a terrible, vacant mess. But they were cooperating and got right into their respective beds. He smiled at them with admiration. Don't worry, God, I'm gonna be the best big brother I can!

“Okay, goodnight, Anne." Roger turned off her bedroom light. “Wait! Dad!" 

“What?" He didn't try to mask his annoyance. “Can't you turn on my nightlight, Dad?" 

“Ya can't do it yourself?" She frowned. "Well, yeah, but Momma always does it for me and kisses my head!”

"Well, as a man, I hafta act tougher! Goodnight, Anne.” He closed the door wordlessly, leaving a saddened and confused child in the dark.

He paced in his own room. Gosh, she wants me to be soft like stupid old Florence! He frowned. I'm gonna read for a bit. Picking up the Moralton Christian Rag as he sat on his bed, an ad caught his eye; Want your kids to be closer to God? Send them into the Pious Scouts! His interest piqued. Yes! Sleep away camp! Thanks, Jesus! And this isn't cowardly, my sacrifices as a father will persevere with my boldness! A branch tapped the window he was next to and he yelped while crawling under the bed. 

Chapter Text

Dolly held the phone, shaking. “Dolly?" Stephanie's voice came from the other line. 

"You there?" Her face matched the feeling in her stomach; full of regret. “Uhhhh… Stephanie.” Here came the sniffles and eyes full of tears. She tried hard to hide them. “Yeah?" 

Dolly twirled her hair. Do I acknowledge that she's crying? We're all about communication, but this is a harsh blow to her, I can tell. “Look, honey, I love you. You know that. But I'm not ready for that." Stephanie's silence was deafening, and Dolly was choked with guilt. “It's not you! I couldn't be happier to have found a romantic partner and fallen in love, let alone have it be someone as undeniably perfect for me as you. But I still have a lot to figure out about myself. But one day, soon, I want us to be together. There's no one I'd rather chronically wake up next to then you. Again, it will be soon, Stephanie. I love you.”

Stephanie was wiping tears from their eyes and letting out silent sobs. They made out certain words Dolly was saying and acknowledged they were kind ones, but 90% sounded like static. “Steph?" They finally made out. “Uh, yeah?" They finally managed through the tears.

"Hon, do you want me to come over and hold you? I hope you're not mad.”

“Not at all! I understand, but I need you to understand how much I'm gonna need privacy to absorb this tonight. But, we're still on for dinner tomorrow, yeah?”

"Heck yeah! Feel better, and… I love you. Are you sure you'd rather be alone? You don't hafta be embarrassed by your emotions around me." 

“Love you too. Yeah, I'm sure, and I love you too. Goodnight, Dolly darling." 

“Goodnight, Steph sweetie." Dolly hung up her phone with a shaking hand. Though it was her who refused the invite and knew Stephanie wasn't mad, she fell to her knees in tears. 

She looked in her bedroom mirror. She didn't resent her reflection anymore, but insecurities still popped up every now and then as they tend to do. “You're gaining weight,” Laughed her father's voice. “You can't even be a trans bitch right, son. That ugly girlfriend of yours will see how heinous you are soon enough. If you think you'll get your sinful meds straightened, you're stupid." 

“Fuck you!" She screamed. Fresh tears pooled her eyes. “Just shut up, Dad," She whispered. The pharmacist's voice now rang in her ears. "Sorry, Ms. Forghetty, but there was an issue with your regular hormones, a shortage. This particular dose is lower, but hopefully come next month, your correct dosage will be back in stock." God, I hate this body. Thank God I don't work in the bar anymore, this stupid town would know I'm trans for sure. 

Later, she looked in her bathroom mirror. The results of her medication, or lack thereof, were clear to her. Steph cannot see me like this! I hope they'll understand… she stepped out of the bathroom.

Many people can and do live alone happily, but Dolly abhorred it. She looked at her dingy, ugly apartment full of horrific memories from her bathroom.

Stephanie sat on the couch, expression blank but a heart full of self hatred. Logically she knew Dolly was just a private soul who wasn't ready to live with someone, but her anxiety got the better of her. Much like her dear friend Doughy, Karl and Kim's voices began to echo in her head with cruel intentions. “Little orphan Stephanie can't keep a girlfriend!" Kim howled at her crass comment. Stephanie's eyes flooded with tears, her expression still numb and void. "That's what you get for being a dyke!” Added Karl. "Ugly cow!” She looked at the phone. These feelings are really awful, I might need to call Dad or my therapist… but it was late. She came to the false conclusion that no one wanted to be burdened by her stories and pushed herself off of the couch.

They reached into the fridge and pulled out a mostly empty bottle of wine and guzzled it. She will never love you. She smiled fake for years, you're no exception. They paused. Am I really so weak I'm gonna do this over a woman? Their eyes watered again. She's not just a woman. She's Dolly. They took the empty bottle and smashed it, shattering clear glass across the bare kitchen floor. They didn't care. I hope I fucking step on it. They looked at the broken bottle neck and scarcely made out their reflection. It was muddled by more than garish light; depression, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts courtesy of themself, Fakey, their mother, Karl, Kim and Rod before he knew about them as they smirked in the glass's reflection. It'd hurt then and even after their father's change of heart, it still hurt. All of those insults and microaggressions flooded their ears at once, their voices all indistinct. They rolled up their sleeve, but stopped. I'm stronger than this. They shakily put the glass down.

Now exhausted, she got into bed. Alone, she turned off the light in agonizing silence.

So did Dolly.

Diorama Elementary 

“...And that's why veganism is responsible for most wars in history, not religion and bigotry." Agnes didn't believe a word she uttered anymore, but a paycheck was a paycheck. She couldn't help but speak with hesitance however. Luckily, the bell rang. Yes! I get to go see Mary! She smiled at the thought. “Class dismissed, I'll see you all tomorrow!" As kids exited the class, she pulled Doughy aside. Gotta fight the fear, gotta fight it! Help me, Lord! He willed as he swallowed. “Yes, Ms. Sculptham?" 

“Look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." 

“What?!" His jaw dropped. “But you're an adult authority figure in Moralton! You don't have to apologize for a thing!" She took a breath. This stupid town. "Yes I do, Doughy. I should've been kinder about your dyslexia, and all learning differences, really.” Doughy was beyond shocked and Agnes recognized his inability to speak. "Look, I know you're having a hard time with reading and writing. But you're really good at math. Like, better than anyone in the class.” This was the kindest she'd ever been to him. "I got you a pamphlet on reading assistance for dyslexics.” She reached into her desk drawer. "Here ya go. Now go home and be proud of the strides you're making.” She smiled warmly, one she'd gained since falling in love with Mary. “Golly, thanks, Ms. Sculptham!" She saw she'd made his day. “Of course, kiddo. You're a great student. And Doughy?" He turned around again. She took a breath again, knowing she was out stepping out of bounds but also realizing there was no other choice for him. “Maybe get tested for autism too." 

He shrugged, unaware. "Okay. Thanks again, Ms. Sculptham! See you tomorrow!”

Orel had waited for him outside the classroom. “You alright, Doughy?" 

“Yeah! You'll never guess what Ms. Sculptham gave me!" 

“Another D?" 

“No! I'll explain on the walk home.”

While exiting the school, Doughy's story was cut short by someone waiting across the street: Christina. “Hi, guys!" She waved before they could process. They immediately ran up to her. “Hi, Christina!" Doughy’s day lightened more seeing his friend, and Orel's cheeks flushed. “Hiya, Christina! Doughy and I are gonna go to Buried Pleasures ‘cuz I have work! Wanna come along?" Orel prayed she'd say yes. She smiled softly. “That does sound amazing and we should definitely save that for Sunday, but I don't have the time. I was wondering…” She paused and looked at the ground. "You can tell us anything.” Doughy touched her shoulder gently. "Can I see my little brother?”

"You wanna see Block?” Orel tilted his head. She nodded. "My mom won't be home for another hour, and I like alone time, but I just wanna see him.” She looked Orel in the eyes. "So, can I come with you?”

"Gee… well, my dad doesn't get home until six today, and this is usually the time my mom vacuums the backyard, so if we make it quick, sure!” She smiled gratefully. "Thanks, guys.”

They finally got to the Puppington house, where indeed a vacuum was droning in the backyard and Block and Shapey were rolling in briar out front. “Block!" Christina jumped for joy. Doughy and Orel grinned at each other, touched.

Block shot up from the bush, a thorn in his face. “Chrissy!" He held out his hand. “C’mon, Shapey!" 

“Okay!" The brothers bolted across the street, and a reckless driver came just as fast. “NO!" Orel, Christina and Doughy let out a scream that made the driver get out. “Great Scott! What are these unfamiliar children doing playing in the street, laughing after I hit them?" Fakey was quivering as he reeked of booze. Block and Shapey were indeed laughing. “Ride again!" Giggled Shapey. “Get out of here," Growled Orel, running over and picking them up. Fakey swallowed. "I didn't mean-”

"Get out!” No one had expected that outburst from Doughy, who was livid. Christina was numb. There was a ringing in her ears that stopped her from hearing a word of what was going on, even as she saw that her brothers were still delighting. In fact, they hugged her. All the voices around her were widely muffled, but then came a piercing thought: It's all your fault, you almost got them hurt. The world spun and she felt sick and overheated. “Christina!" Doughy's voice finally got through to her. She was grounded again. Fakey was driving off, her brothers were looking at her with love. Doughy and Orel were practically begging for her lucidity. “I almost hurt them…” Her hands were shaking. "No you didn't!” Shapey protested. Orel giggled and hugged him from behind. "It's true, Christina! Nothing hurts Shapey and Block!” 

"I guess you're right.” But a series of what-ifs plagued and grated at her and hiding it was near impossible. The vacuum turned off. “Orel? Are you home? I'll be out in a few minutes." Bloberta's voice reached them well. The kids all froze. "I'm gonna walk Christina home,” Doughy offered frantically. "Okay!” She wanted company desperately. She looked at her brothers with regret. "I love you both,” She choked. "Orel, will you bring them Sunday?”

"You bet. I'll see you then.” He smiled reassuringly. "And Doughy? If ya stay for dinner, the Posabules say the Lord's prayer differently! You hafta blend!” Doughy gulped. "Say the Lord's prayer… differently?! Oh gosh…” He stood tall. "I'm no coward. I will.”

"Doughy, this is like the fifth time you've brought up being brave today. What's the matter?”

"Wouldn't want you to think I'm a scaredy cat.” He frowned. Before Orel could question him, he walked off hastily with Christina. "Slow down!” She whined. "Doughy?!” Orel was dying for an explanation. He was left with his brothers who were playing with sticks… in the middle of the road. “Golly…”

“So, do you wanna talk?” Doughy wanted to make Christina as comfortable as possible. She sighed and stimmed with her dress. "Can we just have a few more minutes of quiet so I can collect my thoughts?” 

"Anything you need. We can even pray when we get to your house!” Christina loved that idea. "You bet we can!” They high fived. But her face flickered with horror with images of Shapey, Block and a car driven by a drunken ex principal playing on a loop. I don't wanna bother Doughy with my problems…

Rod drove up to the house, exhausted from work. As he stopped the car he had a realization: I have a girlfriend to share my day with! 

He strode into the house. “Hi, honey! Your's truly delivered an awesome, emotional funeral service today! Not a dry eye in the house! Oh wait. You are off today, right?" He heard her voice. It was definitely a distraught cry. “Florence?!" He bolted. 

He ran to the bedroom where she was weeping on the phone. "You can't! Roger, you can't!” 

"I just did.” Rod clenched his fists hearing Roger's smug voice over the phone.

"Ya can't sue me for putting my daughter in an enrichment program! Weekend sleep away camp will be great for her!” He picked at his nails and smirked hearing Florence's wails. "Ya done blubbering? Good. Besides, chin up! It's not forever, just six weeks!” He laughed cruelly and hung up.

Florence buried her head in her hands, introducing them to pools of tears. "Florence!” Rod rushed to her side, prepared with a box of tissues. "What happened?!”

"Oh, Rod…” She took a tissue as he kissed her head and held her. "Roger's sending Anne to a six-week sleep away camp! Weekends only! I won't see my own child for six whole weeks!" She felt him tense up. “That bastard!" He growled. He was beginning to cry too. “Who knows what he'll do after this?!” She added weakly. “He's going to do everything to keep me and Anne apart. I wanted so badly for us to be a family; Me, Anne, you, Stephanie and Dolly. But he keeps prying us apart!” She sobbed again. Rod looked up. "Florence… Anne ain't goin’ to that camp." She backed away and looked at him with soaked eyes. “I don't have a say in the matter, darling. Roger is her primary caregiver." 

“But I am a reverend. What I say goes!" He pointed smugly at his collar for emphasis. She laughed. “Aw, Pink, I made ya smile." He kissed her cheek and stood up. “I'll make that call now. Go hang out in the living room, relax. You've earned it.”

"Thank you, Rod.” She hugged him and walked out with a grateful smile. He dialed. After a few rings, he got an answer.

Florence was watching from the doorway, which Rod didn't know because his back was turned. “Hi, Pious Scouts? Yes, this is Reverend Putty, finally, some dang recognition!" Florence smirked and rolled her eyes as she stifled a laugh. “So hey, I hear little Anne Papermouth was supposed to join in on the fun this weekend, but, uh, as her reverend, I don't think she's ready, so can you take her off the list? Really? Just like that? Boy, thanks! And the work I do for the Lord? No biggie. See ya Sunday! Buh-bye!" He turned around and jumped seeing Florence. “Seeing you provide for Anne is so sexy…” She rubbed the doorway with her index finger in a circular motion and smiled seductively. He blushed. "Damn, Pink, were you really that sexually repressed- whoa!” She tackled him to the bed as they both laughed maniacally, a bra and a pair of black trousers being thrown in the air.

Anne got off her bus and hummed to herself as she went in the house.

Roger was on the phone as Anne walked in. “Reverend Putty isn't her father! You can't do this! Ooh, this isn't over!" He slammed the phone down and flinched at the loud click. “Dad? What's the matter?!”

"Just something that's more or less the fault of you being only seven, honey,” He answered casually without bothering to look at her. She froze. I'm ruining my parents’ lives…

Chapter Text

The Posabule House 

“Gee. Thanks for talking to me, Doughy. That really is all I needed." Christina sat on her bed, Doughy on a chair listening intently. “Of course, Christina! You can always talk to me no matter what! Say! Do you still wanna pray later?" 

“Gosh, do I! Want to now?" 

“Actually, Orel taught me something really cool… have you heard of meditation?”

"Uh, let's see… oh! My teacher in third grade said it's a rotten trick created by Hindus and practiced by other evil faiths to distract people from focusing on God's planet!" Doughy wanted to panic, but between his desire to be “tough" and genuinely wanting to make Christina happy by showing her something he adored, he just took a breath. “We don't have music for it, but I meditated-ded before bed last night and slept the whole night fer once in forever!" 

“Wow! The whole night?! Show me! Can I make an observation, Doughy?"

"Sure!"

"You have the greatest sense of empathy I know!" She could have made him cry.

Buried Pleasures 

Orel swept the floor, humming. He couldn't help but notice Stephanie standing behind the counter sullenly, lacking her usual energy. “Are you alright, Stephanie?" 

“Huh?" She looked up. Looking at his sweet face and hearing nothing but pleasantries and Jesus stuff dissolved her troubles. “Yeah, just a tough night, Orel." She looked at him, knowing he'd press her. She drummed her fingers. “I wanna go farther in the relationship with Dolly but she's not ready. I had a tough night, Shorty." 

“Oh no. Boy, if you ever feel that way, call me!" 

“It was kinda late, Orel," She chuckled. “Doesn't matter!" He protested as he set him broom down. “I couldn't help or pray for you last night, so I'm gonna hug you now!" He wrapped himself around her, refusing no for an answer. “Always know you're loved, Stephanie." He was nowhere near letting go. “Darn right, she is!" Rod was smiling in the doorway. “Dad!" 

“Reverend Putty?! Hi!" Orel spared a hand to wave. Rod grinned and walked over. “What's up, Dad?" Stephanie smiled. "Hold on now! You had a bad night? And didn't call me?” He walked to the counter and looked at her. “Always call your family, Stephanie." 

"How long were you-” She shook her head and looked at the twelve year old glued to her side and the man looking at her with love from the counter. "Okay, I get it. I'm loved.” She giggled. "What brings you here anyway, Dad?”

"Well…" He rubbed the back of his head. She smirked as she recognized his slight inability to be warm. “Florence, well, she was having trouble making Anne feel safe, and it's low-key a bummer how they can't see each other but we can, and, uh…”

“I love spending time with you too, Dad." He took her one hand as she wrapped the other around Orel, who looked like he felt pretty loved himself. "So,” Rod stated after a moment, "Wanna talk to your dad about your relationship troubles?”

"Oh boy.” She threw her head back.

"Christina, dinner!" Barked Poppit from downstairs.

She'd knocked Doughy and Christina right out of their “friendship prayer." They opened their eyes, somewhat discouraged. “Rats." Christina snapped her fingers in frustration.

As they walked down the stairs Doughy inquired, “Boy, you see your mom at dinner?" 

“Yeah, she works kinda late and demands at least an hour of private time when she gets home. She's probably been home for like an hour or so.”

"Huh. I was gonna say I can't believe you normally have dinner with your mom!” His eyes welled. They reached the bottom of the stairs. "Doughy, are you crying?!”

"Yeah… no idea why! I always cry before eating dinner with the Puppintons too.” He knew all too well this household was as loveless as his, but the thought of dinner together always got to him emotionally. Christina noted the box of tissues on the table they were approaching and grabbed it before offering him a tissue. “Thanks," He managed before blowing his nose. “You're a great friend, Christina." 

"Who is that?” Poppit's voice put a wrench in their joy once again. 

“Is that a boy, Christina?!" Mrs. Posabule was vacuuming a sack of potatoes. “Yes, Mom!" 

Her and Doughy shared a look and nodded. "It's time,” They whispered together.

"Mom, this is Doughy.” Christina wasted no time as they entered the kitchen. "He's a new friend of mine who loves the bible like us!” Poppit's expression softened. “Oh, okay. Hi, Dockey. Will you be joining us for dinner?”

“If you'll have me, Mrs. Posabule! Is that roast beef lamb casserole loaf surprise?”

"Why, yes!" Beaming, she ran to the table and pulled out a chair. “As is polite Christian tradition, you will say grace tonight!” He gulped and chuckled nervously as he sat down with shaking legs.

Dolly walked into Buried Pleasures. "Hey, Stephanie! Ready to go?” 

"Sure did. I just dropped Orel at home.” They grabbed their satchel. "Let's go to dinner!" Dolly watched them intently. I turned them down yesterday, and they're not even being passive aggressive about it! She swallowed. I need them. “Stephanie?" They looked up. "I wanna move in with you. Before you argue, it's not pity.” She sighed. "There's a shortage of my hormones, and I wake up in the morning with facial hair.” 

"Oh, Dolly. That sucks.” They walked over to her and put an arm around her shoulder. "I just feel so crappy about myself, Steph. But if you're who I think you are, you don't care, right? I don't know when my correct dosage of estrogen will be back on the shelf. But if that's what's keeping me from taking the plunge, screw it.”

"I couldn't agree more.” They pecked her lips. “I don't care what you look like, honey. And no matter what struggles you have with your transition, just no it can never match the horrors of my morning breath.” They burst into peals of laughter. Stephanie slapped Dolly's butt. “Now let's fuel up with dinner and move your crap to my apartment then celebrate with the vibrator I get a fifty percent discount on because I work here." 

“Usually I wouldn't appreciate your harsh tone, but I can't say no to someone who's gonna make me cum til I see stars later!" Another shared laugh before a kiss. They walked out, hand in hand.

“...And forgive us, uh, our, uh…” Doughy was sweating buckets as he forced the prayer from his mouth. Pressure's on, Latchey! It's for Christina! "...Debts.” He swallowed. "Amen.” 

"Wonderful, Dockey!” Poppit was fooled. "Let's eat!” Doughy felt a twinge of relief, but it wasn't enough. "Actually, Mrs. Posabule, if you'll excuse me, I forgot to wash up!”

He started a prayer for forgiveness in the bathroom: "Dear God, I'm sorry I..."

Orel stimmed by wagging his fork at dinner. “No Doughy tonight, son?" Bloberta sprayed Shapey away from her breasts. “No," He answered solemnly, still stimming. “In fact, he was acting real weird today! He was all obsessed with being ‘brave’ and ‘tough,’ which he kept rubbing in my face.” He sighed. "He wouldn't even tell me why.” Clay sipped his mystery alcohol. "Well, Doughy's a weird kid, Orel. Either he likes you…” Orel began to sweat and quit stimming and began praying that for the sake of his friend's safety, Clay or any other untrustworthy adult knew about Doughy's sexuality. “...Or he thinks you're not tough." Orel raised an eyebrow. "Gee… do ya really think so?”

"Sure I do! You kids are growing up fast, aggravatingly so in fact. You're bound to get in some friendly competition to prove your manliness!”

“But I don't want us to fight! He's my third best friend, I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything." 

“Well, I personally rule out the fairy theory. Sorry, Orel." Bloberta put some vegetables on her plate. "But don't worry! You're no manly man like…” She inhaled. "Ooh, too many to name. Fakey for instance. Mmmmm. Pretty much anyone we know other than your father...” Clay choked on his drink before shooting her a frown she promptly ignored. “...But believe me, Doughy is way behind you. Point is, you and Doughy have plenty of time to not end up like your father. Tell him that and you can still be friends. Heck, I miss him complimenting my food!" 

“Yeah, Mommy's mystery meat. Eat up, family. The Lord really blessed us this time." Clay stared blankly at his food. Now glaring at him, Bloberta sprayed him with the same container she'd sprayed Shapey with. Shapey and Block both loved this, but Orel's heart was sinking. But I love being Doughy's friend…

After the Posabule “Dinner”

"Boy, your gelatin with bits of chocolate in it was as great as dessert!” Doughy patted his stomach. "Gosh, am I satisfied! Can I help you with the dishes?”

“Aw, Dockey! So kind! Unlike my own daughter." Poppit grinned as she collected everyone's dishes. “But it's a school night. I think it's time I give you a ride home. Plus, boys don't do dishes." 

“O-okay. Thanks, Mrs. Posabule." Him and Christina shared a sad look.

Christina walked Doughy to his door. "You saved my sanity, Doughy. Thank you.” 

"So… you don't think I'm a scaredy cat?" 

“No! Orel was right; why are you so into that today?" He sighed. “Can you keep a secret, Christina?" 

“Boy, can I!" 

“He made a movie about his adventures in Moralton, and he made me call myself a scaredy cat in the film.” 

"Oh, no!” She hugged him. "I love Orel as a friend and boyfriend, but you and I will both tell him how amazing you are! There are all kinds ‘a bravery! You said the Lord's prayer different than you're used to, and you taught me meditation, you make me happy every Sunday after church… you're the best-” Poppit leaned on the horn. "Gotta go. See you Sunday, Doughy!” 

"See ya!” He waved and felt sadness but with a flower of relief.

He even ignored Kim shrieking, “The fat kid is back!" And throwing a stray soda can at him.

Florence sat on the couch reading. “Hey, honey, sorry dinner's behind." Rod poked his head out from the kitchen grinning sheepishly. “It's fine, darling." She put her book down. “Are you sure you don't just want to order takeout? It's on me! Or I could cook!" 

“No, no, no. It's your first full day living with me, time for me to be an adult and cook for you! Besides, after that dope of a husband harassing you, you deserve a year off from cooking!" She giggled. “Okay, dear. Not that I don't appreciate your tenderness, but something is burning!" 

“Oh yeah. Uh, be back!" She laughed as he scrambled into the kitchen. But seriously, Rod, hurry it up! I'm starving! But she couldn't find herself displeased. I've got my wildest dreams come true and then some! She looked at a picture of Anne she'd put on a shelf. Well, almost…

Lo Stereotipo Italiano 

“Y’know, last time I came here I stormed out." Stephanie laughed. “I came out to my dad that night. I should've waited until he bought me this risotto first though! Damn, this is good!" Dolly laughed too. “Yeah, queerphobes gotta pay for dinner!” She finished her pasta. “I'm glad I get to spend this with you." She took Stephanie's hand and looked at her. Glowing orange in the candlelight, highlighting her shiny black hair and big, kind eyes. “So, uh, thoughts on dessert?" Dolly's cheeks were now as red as her dress as she forced herself out of her own trance. Stephanie exhaled. “Well, I don't know about you, but I for one don't feel like spending forty five more dollars on something crappy and overrated like tiramisu or chocolate lava cake, so what say you the check and then some ice cream?”

"I say your brains are enough to make me question my atheism.” They both giggled and leaned into the table, sharing a kiss. "You taste like romano, Steph.” Dolly giggled.

"Okay, you're gonna make cracks at me? You're kissing a vegetarian reeking of anchovy! Your breath is making my eyes water." They both laughed hysterically. “Okay, so just handholding until we've both brushed our teeth thoroughly tonight, Dolly?”

"Sold!” They high-fived. "I can't believe I'm spending my nights with you, Steph.” Now it was Stephanie's turn to admire Dolly in the candlelight. It brought out her shiny lipgloss and made her golden hair glow like the sun. “Do we have to go back to our place? You look kinda perfect in candlelight." She took her hands. “Now I get to wake up next to Closeface and never have her leave me.”

8:30

“...And thanks for having Christina feel better about myself, God. Amen." Doughy got into bed and turned on his two night lights while cuddling his SuperGod plush.

“Finally finished!" Rod invited Florence into the kitchen. She sniffed and made a face she was grateful he wouldn't see.

“Mac and cheese for my lady!" She laughed at how cute he was. It took him three and a half hours to make mac and cheese? And extremely burnt mac and cheese at that? “Looks lovely, dear. Your first real cooking attempt, my goodness!" She sat down and watched him beam as he put the dish on the table. “Let's eat, Florence." He held up his glass of… was that chocolate milk? Yes. My boyfriend made chocolate milk to drink for our first night living together. "To my first cooked meal for the most amazing lady I somehow landed!” She realized he'd also put chocolate milk on her side of the table and picked it up. "Cheers, darling.” Her stomach dropped as he spooned his burnt concoction onto her plate. How am I going to stomach this?... Nevertheless she bit in and swallowed. Rod did the same, but his face turned green. "Oh boy. I botched this one, huh?”

"Learning to cook is a process, dear.” She stood up and massaged his shoulders to soothe him. "I'll be more than happy to teach you tomorrow. You wanna please the lady you love?” He turned around. "More than anything!” She got in his face. "Let's get some fast food and then walk on the beach.”

"Florence, Steph was right; you are a goddess!”

Christina put her toothbrush away and turned off the bathroom light. “Okay, Mom, goodnight-" Poppit wasn't reading in her bed. "In the guest room, Christina!”

Poppit was reading a book entitled Tampons are Tiny Masturbation Devices: Period. on the guest room bed. “Mom? Why are you in here?" 

“My old bedroom had, erm… bad memories in it." She didn't look up from her book. “Oh." Christina hung her head as Poppit twisted an answer to a simple question to make her well-meaning daughter feel guilty. She knew she wouldn't get anymore dialogue, let alone a glance from her mother. “Well, goodnight, Mom." 

"Goodnight, Christina.”

She turned off her light and resumed prayer position. “Hi, Lord, I wanna thank you for the great time I had with my friend Doughy today. I pray you grant him happiness, and, oh…” She sighed. “Jesus, I'm awful sorry to be selfish, but for once I didn't feel lonely! Doughy and I learned real useful stuff from each other, and I felt like I was loved and needed in my house for the first time since I lost Shapey!" She shifted. "Please make me less lonely, I'm so tired of feeling like a Judas in my own home. Please help me, Jesus. I don't know how you will, but you're my best friend and I trust you. Amen." Still visibly uneasy, she undid her hair tie and crawled into bed.

Orel finished brushing his own teeth and decided to check on his brothers in the attic. 

He knocked at the door. “Block? Shapey? You guys okay?" 

“Come in!" They chimed. He did and immediately winced. “Woo! Boy, it's cold in here!" He saw them both shivering despite being under blankets. “Golly, are you okay?!" He ran over to the bed. “Too cold!" Shapey was buried under a blanket and still shaking. Orel was horrified. “Boy, this sure won't do!” He thought for a second with downcast eyes, as the thought of making eye contact with his shivering little brothers was painful. "I have a spare mattress I use when Doughy sleeps over. How about you two stay with me?”

"You s-s-sure, Orel?” Block shivered violently as a gust of wind spat through the old attic's window. Gee, no one oughta live like this! They're only seven! “You bet I am! C'mon!" He led the way, helping them carry their blankets and pillows. “Thanks, Orel," Shapey uttered for the first time in his life.

Roger brought a prostitute into his home, giggling madly as he unlocked the door. The woman was unimpressed as she looked at her vibrant pink nails. “Chez Papermouth!" He grinned as he led them inside. “Okay, Officer, shall we take this to the bedroom?" Is it obvious I want this over with? “Sure, baby! Right up the stairs! Peachy Clean, was it?"

"Penelope, but okay.” He paused hearing footsteps. Penelope cocked an eyebrow. “You got a roommate or something? I don't wanna bug them-" 

“No!" Roger boomed. “I'll take care of it." 

Lividly he walked into the bathroom. “Anne!" He hissed. “What the heck are you doing out of bed?!" 

“Refilling my water glass," She yawned. “Well, hurry up! Daddy's on a date!" 

“Okay!" She was getting defensive even through her exhaustion. “I won't get up again. I was just thirsty. But I'll stay in bed, honest!" He beamed and patted her head as if he hadn't just insulted her in her own home. "That's my girl! Night, Anne!”

She wrote at her desk in her room and grabbed a small suitcase. I'm just a bad kid! I embarrass my dad who gets my mom angry because of me! She successfully jumped from her window, landing on a bush outside.

Chapter Text

Diorama Elementary 

The two minute bell rang, sending Ms. Sculptham’s class into a slight frenzy to organize themselves (other than Joe.) Orel walked in, which made Doughy smile. Unfortunately Orel's face was serious and his movements sluggish and apathetic. He sat down. “You okay, Orel?" 

“Interesting question. Do I not look tough enough for you?" 

“What?! Orel, are you mad at me?! 'Cuz I'm sorry about yesterday!" Orel peeked at Doughy, who looked like his usual and sensitive self. "No… I just thought you were yesterday. I'm glad we're still friends." 

“Sorry about the way I was, after lunch prayer, I wanna talk to you." Further questions were interrupted by Agnes. “Morning, kids. Hope everyone is feeling- yes, Doughy?" 

“Ms. Sculptham? You have a funny mark on your neck." She blushed. Dammit, Mary! She left a hickey! “My mom gets those a lot; is that what ‘time of the month’ means?” Doughy was clueless, but Agnes was still mortified.

Roger ran into the police station and shuffled anxiously like a child. The sergeant looked him up and down. “Someone put fire ants in your boxers as a prank again, Roger?" 

“No! Sergeant Constable!" He whispered in a panicked voice, “I gotta do a missing persons report!" 

“Who? Your teddy bear?" 

“Very funny, William! I found Lil’ Officer Roger last weekend, not that you asked! But no, I'm serious!" William nodded and grabbed a pad and paper. “Tell me more, Papermouth." 

“My daughter Anne! She left this note last night!" With a shaking hand he gave the note to the deputy. "I don't know where she may have gone!”

"Good lord! Poor little girl. Of course, Roger. Give me a picture of her and we'll get on posters ASAP." 

“Uh… I'll pop home. I haven't got a picture of her." 

“You don't have a picture of your child in your wallet?" 

“Hey, it ain't like she's a boy! Plus I’d hafta take out my Jesus appreciation cards!" 

“Fair enough. Post haste, Roger. Go get a photo of the tyke." 

“She ain't gay- oh, tyke." He chuckled nervously. "Back in a jiff! Also, don't tell my ex wife!” William was beyond confused… but also uncaring.

Anne was currently deep in Blacklist Forest. She'd slept on the ground overnight,in her little sleeping bag, which was still parked.

She was now eating a Crispy Church-late Bar and staring blankly at a pond. Unfortunately, the cloudy morning was taking its toll and it began to rain. Oh no, I didn't think this through! She grabbed her stuff and scattered. 

“Okay, found one, finally!” Roger waved a small picture of Anne up. William glared. "Papermouth, that was darn near an hour!”

"Sarge, I'm a divorced, thin, able-bodied Christian white male cop! Sorry if a seven year old isn't on my top list of priorities!” He slammed the photo on the desk. "Make the posters, I've gotta stop some Godless criminals!” He walked off with fake pride. 

Anne was sprinting through a downpour at this point. She just made out some sort of building in the distance. Thank goodness!

An ugly, decaying shed with mold coating the outside alone. She winced. I don't wanna enter! It stinks! The bugs crawling about were cementing the age of this clearly long-forgotten shed. What intimidated her more was an enormous, creepy stone Jesus statue with an eerie grin which loomed over her. There was a bright flash of lightning and a boom of thunder that made her scream and run into the shed. It was immediately colder inside which made her shiver, and pitch dark due to lack of windows. Despite the darkness, its filth was apparent to Anne as she gagged, then bawled into her knees, the candy bar still in her hand, though it's wrapper had been robbed by the wind. What have I done?! Another clap of thunder made her cry harder.

The Jesus statue outside was not responding to the rough elements well and was beginning to crack.

Otherton Library 

“You really didn't hafta do this. It's a ride out here.” Florence sat in her break room with Rod. “After last night's fiasco, I should've brought you baked Alaska.” He smiled and handed her a container of food. She was grinning. “Remember last year when you said all fat people oughta be starved out?" He swallowed. “Yup." 

“Look at you, cooking, being an ally to women, and serving lunch to a plus-size lady!" Her laugh smashed his guilt. "You're an angel, Rod Putty.” 

"Just being a good boyfriend.” His smile was bashful. She opened the container. "Leftover… Thai food?" Seeing his goofy smile made it impossible for her to be dissatisfied again. “Thanks, honey." 

"You got it, Pink.” He kissed her cheek and stood up. “I'll see you at home, I gotta get back to work myself." She giggled. “If no one is gonna prep for Sunday to teach those Moralton residents about the Lord, who will?”

"Exactly!” She blinked at his inability to understand her sarcasm. "Love you, honey.”

He left the building, still swooning.

He stopped at a red light right near Sal's Corner Store. Ooh! Maybe I'd better shop for dinner tonight. If I buy miscellaneous crud, I'm sure she'll come up with something!

He walked up to the store and froze. Missing posters for Anne Papermouth. Completely frozen, his eyes filled with tears before he began to sob while falling to his knees. Fran happened to walk by. “Ah, I guess God didn't have dignity in the cards for you today, Reverend." He felt her sneer. “Back off, Fran!" He got up and leapt into the car. Amazingly, Dolly recognized his car and flagged him down. He pulled over and got out. “Oh, Rod. I'm so sorry." His lip quivered before he collapsed with tears into her arms. “Let's go find Stephanie," She said softly after a few minutes. “Then we'll all tell Florence." He nodded, still sobbing. She kept her arm around him.

Orel and Doughy were just finishing their lunchtime prayer. “...And bless my mom for this meal of cheesy pretzels, cranberry juice and cake flavored applesauce she packed for me. Amen." 

“Amazing, Dougy!" 

“Thanks. So… you still wanna talk?”

"Yeah, but this is private. Let's go to the bathroom after we eat.”

They did. “So, you wanna tell me why you were acting like a man who drinks at Forghetty's too much yesterday?” Orel crossed his arms. Doughy sighed. "Look, Orel, yer' my best friend. I can be honest with you, right?”

"Of course!" Doughy looked at the tile floor. “When we were meditating the other day… I had a flashback.” He looked up sternly at Orel. “Of something you said. Or rather, you made me say about myself.” Orel stared with an open mouth and swallowed. "D-Doughy, I-”

"I'm sorry I wasn't always loyal to you, but it kinda burned when my best friend who's one of a handful ‘a people who knows I'm gay and asexual made me say in front of our friends, Reverend Putty, God and Jesus that I'm a scaredy cat!” He fought tears and shut down, unknowing of what he'd say next. It both felt satisfying to let it out and terrifying to be so vulnerable. He couldn't look at Orel but felt his mood soften. "Oh, Doughy. I'm so sorry.” Doughy felt safe meeting his eye again. "Thanks, Orel. That helps.” He even managed a small smile. "I was a worse person then, Doughy. I was mad at lots of people and took it out on people who really didn't deserve it. You're the best friend ever, next to God and Jesus of course.” Orel smiled too. Doughy giggled. "Boy, do I feel better! Can I hug you, Orel?” Orel relaxed. "You bet. C’mere.” They embraced each other, Doughy's cheeks turning pink again. "And if we're really being honest, Doughy, I was still a little mad about you being responsible for the death of Bartholomew.” Doughy glared and pushed back. "What?!” The sound of the pouring rain didn't make the situation any calmer.

Christina was playing inside for recess, painting a picture of SuperGod as Andrew and Rolly sat along with her doing their own crafts. An announcement came on. “Students of Dollhouse Elementary, this is Principal Principles. We are announcing an amber alert for a missing member of Moralton school district, even though she goes to Diorama Elementary and we don't know her and I'm kinda wasting my breath.” The principal began to hack, making the students flinch. “Some kid named Anne, gee, that's original, Anne Papermouth, age seven with blond hair, wow, that's specific, went missing last night. Missing posters have been put up. If anyone has any information on Miss Papermouth’s whereabouts, which again, she goes to another school so don't hurt yourselves looking, tell a responsible adult, like me or a police officer or a religious figure.” He droned on, but Christina was horrified. "Poor little girl…" 

She imagined Shapey and Block, alone in the streets, shivering.

She dropped her paintbrush. “Gee, what's the matter, Christina?” Andrew peeked at her. “Boy, that poor little girl…”

“Sure is scary!" Rolly didn't look up from her crocheting. Christina was nearly shaking. I don't know this missing kid, but that poor girl doesn't deserve this! I'll find her myself after school and get her home!

“You think I killed Bartholomew?!" Doughy backed up. “Well, you did rat me out not only to Reverend Putty, but most of the men at church! Men with power." Orel stood by his accusation. "Bartholomew was a living creature, Doughy. My first pet. He not only made me happy, but just about everyone!” Without warning, tears streamed down his cheeks. "I don't care what anyone said! Animals do have souls, and darn it, God was in that dog! And you, my best friend, told on me before even talking to me about it?!” Doughy froze as Orel wiped his eyes, knowing he had a point. "I regretted it right after, Orel! I swear! I miss Bartholomew too! I was a worse person then too!”

"Then why didn't you ever tell me that?! Or even apologize to me?!” Orel was waiting at this point. "Then a few weeks later, you were there when I found out my parents were bigamists, you saw it! And you ran instead of staying with me like a friend oughta! Not to mention I saved you Walt Gluegun even after you let me get hurt by him for days!"

"You're right. I'm… sorry, Orel. I am a scaredy cat. I'll do better. I'm sorry I failed you." He allowed Orel to sob into his shoulder. 

Florence and Rod's house

Stephanie, Rod and Dolly all sat in the living room with Florence as she wept violently. Not a stray word was spoken, just a rub of Florence's back. “Thank you, Dolly," She sobbed. “When I've stopped crying, we have to look for her!" 

“Cry all you need to, we've got you." Stephanie shot her a sad smile. There was a knock at the door. “I goddit." Rod stood up sheepishly and kissed Florence's head before answering the door. “Roger?!" 

“Hiya, Reverend." Roger was drenched. “I'm, uh, here to ask a favor." He failed to see Florence on the couch. “Reverend, will you light a candle for my missing little girl?” Rod's eyebrows shot up. Oh, brother. He looked at the pitiful cop with the quivering lip on his porch. Bet this poor doofus doesn't even know about Florence movin’ in yet. Hate the guy, but it's his daughter. “Sure, Rog." Florence looked up, cognizant of her ex’s presence. Rod rubbed the back of his head. “I bet you've lit a bunch ‘a candles yourself, huh?" 

"Well, I lit one, but you're a reverend! It's more Jesus-y when you do it!”

“Well, uh, not to brag, but-" 

"Roger!” Florence joined Rod at the door. “Look. We've had our… differences…”

"Easy, Florence.” Dolly was getting nervous. Florence exhaled sharply. "...But in order to find-”

"My daughter? Uh, thanks, Florence, but I'm a cop, a man, and her guardian. I've got-” Florence grabbed his neck and squeezed. He gagged.

"Fuck. You.” She was growling. "Oh no, she's serious.” Rod began to sweat.

Chapter Text

Florence had Roger pinned to the floor. He was turning blue as his bootlicking uniform. “Florence, stop it!" Rod tugged at her sleeve, but she was gone. Sweet, meek, cute bubbly Florence had been evicted by evil no one, even herself, had known was boiling inside of her. “Florence!" Stephanie ran over and pried her away. Reluctant fingers freed Roger. He gasped as color returned to his draining face. He stood up and his stare of shock and horror twisted into a vengeful sneer. “Florence Paperteeth, you are under arrest for assaulting an officer." She stood shaking. What have I done?! What came over me?! Who am I?! Rod grabbed her arm. “No, you can't arrest her! Roger, there must be some way out of this, please! Tensions are high, you came here to ask for a Christian favor, for soup’s sake! Be a Christian yourself!" Roger pursed his lips. He was listening, but yet to be convinced. Stephanie stood at Florence's other side, and Dolly stood up, smiling as she concocted a plan. Rod was struggling to keep everything together. “Roger, please! No one's in their right mind! Anne is Florence's daughter too, we can work together!" 

“...Or we use her as blackmail." Dolly pulled Roger into the house. “Muddy shoes on the carpet I paid for…” Rod spoke in a squeaky voice through his teeth as he tensed up. “‘Blackmail?’" Roger tilted his head. “Like mail from Soulfood Town?”

“No, you stupid racist!" She slapped her forehead. “A cop, and you don't know what blackmail is- y’know, I'm not surprised." Stephanie took this time to lead Florence to the couch and sit with her. Dolly was still smirking at Roger. “You, a man cop who's not a ‘fairy’ being assaulted by a lady?” She pursed her own lips. "You wanna tell that to the boys at the station?” Rod smiled, seeing what she was getting at. Stephanie shared the smile, proud of their girlfriend. Roger stammered. “You gonna help us or not, Officer?” 

"Okay, I'm starting a search with other officers, we start tonight! See ya round!” He darted. Florence finally spoke: "Did I just avoid serious charges because of Moralton's legendary sexism?" Her allies agreed all at once; “You goddit." Stephanie rubbed her back one last time. “Sure did." Dolly rolled her eyes. “You bet." Rod was still visibly concerned. Then he straightened up. “Maybe you three are a little strict about feminism-" 

“Watch it," They all said through their teeth. He looked at them and chuckled nervously while pulling at his collar. “I'll, uh, cook dinner for us now." He quickly walked out of the room. 

Christina was preparing for her private, solo search in her room. Okay, maybe I better use my Pious Scout Survival Guide! She dug through her closet and pulled out a bag labeled Pious Girl's Carrying Case, which was a small, pink purse coated in rhinestones with red writing on it. She wrinkled her nose. Gee, was I brainwashed! She looked inside. There was the guide. Yeah, who am I kidding? That's gonna be useless. She grabbed a bigger bag from the shelf in her closet and packed a coat. I'll bring some food to be safe too!

“I'm going out, Mom!" She called upstairs.

Poppit was passed out drunk anyway. 

Doughy exited the school, walking briskly toward his home. “Hey, you're not taking the bus?" Joe walked up to him. “And where's Orel?" Doughy was impressed. Boy, Nurse Bendy sure has Joe in better spirits these days! “Orel… needs a break from me. And I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting with anyone other than him.” 

He walked past Sal's and saw the poster. Oh my goodness! His hand began to shake. I gotta help find her! It dawned on him. If I find her myself, I'll be brave for sure! No more scaredy cat! He resumed walking, now smiling.

He left his house with a duffle bag. “Bye, Mom and Dad! I don't know when I'll be home, but bye anyway!" 

They were making out on the kitchen counter. “Ew, it was home?" Kim crinkled her nose. Karl shrugged. “Who cares? It's gone now!" 

The rain had stopped when he got outside. Regret nagged him as he looked back, but he chose to ignore it. Shut up, scaredy cat-ness. I'm in control for once.

7 PM 

“Florence, you sure you're up to this search?" She put her coat on as Rod anxiously watched her from their bedroom. “She's my daughter, Rod. I've got to." She started for the door. “Honey, ya haven't eaten anything since lunch! Don't you think you oughta have something for the sake of your blood sugar?" 

"I can't, honey. I couldn't think of anything, let alone eating, right now if I tried.”

Dolly and Stephanie were waiting in the living room, all ready to go. "Ready?” Dolly nodded seeing Florence and Rod come out. "Ready,” Florence insisted. "So, I think we'd get more done if we split up. We're all adults.” She tried desperately to keep her composure, audibly exhausted from crying. Rod was no fan of her proposal and opened his mouth, clearly unsure of how to disagree politely. "Well… maybe still kinda team up? I mean, uh-"

He couldn't stop the image of Stephanie's face on the missing poster out of his head.

“I'll search downtown with Steph! Florence and Dolly, you go wherever Roger and his idiots are going and show ‘em how those of us who love Anne do it.”

"Hey, I know that sounded cool on your head, but ya kinda sound like a jackass.” Dolly looked at him sympathetically.

Christina was in an alleyway, searching. “Anne? Anne Papermouth?" She heard adult voices beginning to shout the same, not far from where she was. If she's like me, loud noises bother her! Christina was highly unaware of her own autism and thought her hypersensitivity to noise was something everyone endured. I know! I'll look in the woods nearby! I bet no one has thought of that! She turned off her flashlight to remain discreet and ran off.

Doughy had the same idea, in fact. He was searching Fading Smiles Cemetery for clues. Darn it, nothing! He was shaking from anxiety but seemed to ignore it. She's not here. Well, when I ran away, I went to that park on the other side of town! I think it led to Blacklist Forest? I better go check! He tugged at his coat collar. Sure is spooky here anyhow! He walked past his grandfather's grave. Oh, Grampy… I'm so sorry. I know yer’ no sinner, even when you did eat people's brains and show your private, naughty dingle to the town! You were an amazing grandpa! He smiled.

Orel was pacing in the living room. Gee, I was way too hard on Doughy! Darn it, he's not perfect, but neither am I! I miss him already… “Orel!" He turned around and saw Bloberta glaring at him from the kitchen doorway. “I am doing dinner dishes, son! You know this is Mommy's favorite time of day." 

“Sorry, Mom." She couldn't see his rolling eyes that indicated that he wasn't sorry. He turned to face her and caught Shapey and Block trying to drink dish soap behind her and gasped. “Mom! Block and Shapey are-" 

“Not the subject! Quit trying to change it or you're grounded!" He swallowed. She sighed. “Look, I see you're distressed. While I'm here, may as well tell me what the matter is." She wiped her hands on her apron. He sat down glumly. "I talked to Doughy, and we sorta had a fight. I wanna tell him I'm sorry. Can I, Mom? Right now?”

"Wait till tomorrow, Orel. A vibrant twelve year old with your demeanor and voice? If anyone inevitably hears you were put on your own this late, they'll blame me! Do you want that on your conscience?”

“I… guess not. But Mom, how do I resolve it?”

"Well, what was the root of your trouble with him?”

"Well…" He thought for a second and looked up, noticing a cross above the kitchen door. The revelation. Every disagreement, every rift in their friendship including this one, went back to: Christianity broke up my friendship with Doughy! He continued to stare, dumbfounded. Bloberta scoffed. “You think on that all you need to, dear." She turned around and finally caught the gaze of Block and Shapey. “Boys, no! That's my best soap! Give it now or no nighttime feeding!"  

Doughy stood at the beginning of Blacklist Forest’s only trail. He looked behind him and spotted the playground where he'd run to when he discovered he had feelings for Orel. Memories of running. 

Falling into briar after having a seizure. Waking up after a day of being unconscious. Waking up in agony with hardly any energy. 

His legs shook. But he recalled, This is also where I met Christina!

They played on Mosquito Pond. Christina was okay with Doughy's sexuality as he made one of his best friends.

He also met Stephanie, who rescued him and carried him to safety.

They also bought him food and took him to the shop they worked at, bandaging and comforting him.

He relaxed a bit. I can do this. He went to enter the forest and noted how wet and heavy everything was from the cool rain earlier. Boy, it'll be all cold, wet and drippy! Oh… He stood tall. It's for my bravery, uh, Anne! He marched forward. Kinda wish I'd brought a flashlight…

Christina had already started into the woods. She flinched as she stepped on a twig. Golly, I don't wanna attract any mean old wild animals! She gulped at the thought. Wait! Sometimes noises that bother me don't bother anyone else! I could use that to my advantage! “Thanks for the superpower, Lord!" She gave "God" a thumbs up before resuming her mission. 

Dolly and Florence met up where Roger, his cop friends, and… Dottie Trophywife were meeting. Dottie was apathetically smoking and Roger was looking more scared for himself than Anne. There were still choke marks from her fingers on his scrawny neck. Florence bit her lip. Dolly patted her shoulder. “Please, Florence. It's for Anne." Florence deflated. “You're right. Thank you, Dolly. I think I'll be okay with you here." They stared at each other with gratitude. Florence was genuinely horrified. What if I lose my cool again? I felt like I wasn't in control of myself! It might be even harder to find Anne! Keep it together, Florence!

“Sure you'll be warm enough?" Rod and Stephanie got into the truck. “Yeah, Dad. It's really not that cold." She chuckled but saw his serious expression as he buckled in. “We'll find her." She squeezed his hand. He smiled shakily. She started the car and began to drive. "Uh, kid, it's dark and kinda slippery out. Want me to-”

"You've never driven a truck.” She smiled. "Relax. I goddit.” He couldn't help but fret. This limboing fear and dread was worse than any loneliness or self hatred he'd ever felt. He looked up. Pal, you better take care of my kid and help me find Florence's, or I'm only talking about Jesus in my sermons for the next friggin’ month! 

Doughy had no idea where he was, a notion he repeatedly forced to the back of his mind. When it became harder to push the thought back, he sighed. Maybe I need a minute, I've been ignoring my whereabouts forever. He made the mistake of sitting on a fallen tree and yelped. “Yuck! Wet wood!" He looked up. “Gee, doncha have anywhere dry to sit, God? I am doing something good!" He frowned but then gasped looking at the muddled sky. "Oh no, rain again?! I sure hope your tests for me are almost over!” He wagged a finger and hid under the tree, barely seeking refuge from the falling rain. Still, he was exhausted. Physically and emotionally. I'll just rest my eyes until this stupid storm is gone… he was asleep mmediately, but shivering in the rain.

A few moments earlier

“Yuck!" had echoed to Christina’s neck of the woods. She stopped short. Either that's Doughy or a raccoon got its tail stepped on! She shrugged. Probably the latter. She held her hand out. Darn, rain again?! It was picking up, and a gust of wind made her shiver. No, I have to persevere like our Lord! She kept walking despite exhaustion and growingly abysmal weather conditions. Anne needs help…

Chapter Text

Earlier

“Well, looks like everyone who's part of this search party is present." Sergeant Constable adjusted his glasses. "Papermouth, you're the dad. Start us off.” Sensing Florence's boiling blood without looking at her, Dolly took her hand. "Actually, Sarge, Ms. Paperteeth, her mother is here too!” Roger and Florence were given the floor. She both seemed to have loved and resented Dolly's bold move.

Rod struggled to keep up with Stephanie. They were far ahead, which didn't help his anxiety. How come my flesh and blood is the world's craziest speed walker?! They didn't get that from me! “Steph! Wait up, I beg you." They turned around and spotted him completely winded. “Dad, are you okay?!" They rushed to his side. “Yeah, honey, I'm fine." He was panting. "Just… careful. It looks like rain soon, it's dark, and this ain't the nice side of town.” They put their hand on their hip. "I happen to work on this side of town. Your part of town is no prize at night either." They looked at him intensely. "I can't imagine what you're feeling right now, and I know I can't help. But if you keep track of everything I do, we're not gonna find that poor little kid. So I'll ask you once. What's going on with you?”

"Uh…" 

Christina could hardly see anything through the rain, even with her flashlight as she squinted. She was sliding due to wet fallen leaves, mud and pine needles all beneath her. She clearly had no intention of stopping however; flashbacks to Block and Shapey intruded her mind. I'm gonna help Anne Papermouth or die trying.

Florence stammered. “Um, mmm…” She hated public speaking, even though the group only had a bit over a dozen people. Fran’s stare always made her uncomfortable. Clay Puppington was clearly there for good publicity and was visibly drunk. Dottie smirked a bit, seemingly waiting for her to make a mistake. But Nurse Bendy, Agnes, Danielle, Mary and Helen were all there, looking sympathetically. Florence exhaled. “Thank you all dearly for coming out to help us find Anne.” She took Roger's hand. "Roger and I have had our differences, but I think we can put them aside for the fact that we love our amazing daughter. And all you kind people…” To no shock, Roger wasn't paying attention. He was however beginning to finally feel guilt over his missing child. He looked at Florence. Boy, can she yammer! How did I stay married to that for years? He noticed how bored the crowd looked. “-God bless you fer comin'!" He butted in. “Roger!" Florence was furious. The crowd was now cheering. Well, besides Dolly and all the people who came because they generally cared; they looked as annoyed as Florence. “It got better when the man took over!" Sal concluded enthusiastically. "And included God.” Fran agreed. They shared a smile. Florence sighed. "C’mon, everyone.” Dolly immediately comforted her with a hug. 

Rod 

“Dad?" His eyes went wide. Stephanie noticed she'd lost him and let go. “You having an out of body experience, Dad?" She pulled him to a bench. “Wait here. I'll look for Anne.” She walked off, but not before shooting him one last glance.

He was trapped in his thoughts and glued to the bench. What if it were Stephanie missing?...

What if I'd been kinder to her as a kid, even not knowing she was mine? “Hey! Kim, Karl, I don't care whatever stupid, unholy hijinks you get into, but there was no need to drag Stephanie into it! Apologize to her now!" He could just make out the sad but grateful smile across her face. “Thanks, Reverend," She would have said with confidence.

And I had been nicer when she was thrown into the private praying booth? And not hid from her mother? “Mom, please!" He could make out the voice. Ain't that Gladys’s kid? Stella or Strawberry or Styrofoam? Gladys slapped her child. “You don't get to utter a word ‘til you apologize to the Lord about your stinking body, Stephanie!" Rod had been peeking out from the confessional. “But I don't even know what's happening! Mom, please!” Boy, I wish I'd done the right thing. "Ms. Foamwire, get Stephanie out of there!” Gladys would have obeyed. She never disobeyed a man, let alone a religious leader. He could have pulled Stephanie out of the booth. “Gladys, she has nothing to apologize for! Now go educate your kid about p-p-periods instead of punishing her!" 

If when I'd found out they were my kid, I'd accepted her right away! And skipped the misogyny at the beginning. “I'd love to go out to lunch with you tomorrow!" 

“I'm your daughter." 

“Oh my gosh… how do we start this? I wanna be there for you!" 

He sat on the bench, still deep in thought. She makes me a better person. She makes me want to be a better person. But instead of regrets, maybe I should be present and help her… and by gosh, my girlfriend and her little girl! “Stephanie!" He snapped out of it in a nanosecond and jumped off the bench. Stephanie turned around, annoyed. "Dad! I'm like twenty feet away, ya don't hafta scream!” He ran over and hugged her. “Was not expecting this." She raised an eyebrow.

“Stephanie, I'll be open with ya. I'm sorry I've been a clingy mess, I just… losing poor little Anne has hurt like heck, and seeing Florence grieve her own beautiful flesh and blood- I can't stand the idea of something happening to you!” He buried his face in their shoulder. “I love ya, kid." 

"Oh, Dad…” Rod could've stayed in this father and child moment forever. But he backed up, grateful to be looking at Stephanie. “Let's go find yer sister, kiddo." 

“Okay." Her voice was scarcely above a whisper. “And Dad? Dolly and I will stay with you guys until this is over." Half expecting a complaint or protest, she looked surprised as he smiled. “You’re both so thoughtful.” They continued their search.

Florence 

Her daughter’s name now sounded flat and drained at this point. I named her after my favorite grandmother, now it just sounds void. Not unlike how she felt. Near a bench, she sat. “Need a break?" Dolly came up behind her. "I just need to think,” She quietly confirmed. Dolly sat next to her. “Y’know, Florence, if it's of any help, you're doing beautifully for someone in your position." She squeezed Florence's shoulder. Her eyes met Dolly's, sparkling with gratitude. “Thanks, Dolly. You're too kind." 

“Oh, Florence. This is the least I could do at a time like this. Any private thoughts you wanna get out while it's just us?" 

"Sure… regrets. A sea of what-ifs are scratching at my legs.” She shifted. “I was so selfish when I was married to Roger. Sure, I loved Anne dearly, but I was so engrossed in food and my own depression I could have done so, so much better." 

"Well, you didn't come to my bar, let alone spend your life in it like most of Moralton, so congrats on not being a drunk gas lighter." Florence chuckled but immediately got more serious. “I knew I didn't stand a chance winning custody of her, but what if I'd… not fought Roger in front of her? That's why she left, anyway. She left a note. It's partly my fault…” She was too drained to cry more. Dolly rubbed her back. “Look, you're not perfect. But you're eons beyond most people in this town in terms of love and kindness. If and when we find Anne, you and Rod are gonna spoil that girl rotten. You're an amazing woman, let alone mom. You're a diamond in the rough ‘a this crap town. Put that to use, and don't pin yourself down with what-ifs. Trust me, it's useless.” The rain started and Dolly reached into her purse and pulled out an umbrella, immediately shielding them both. "I may be kind, Dolly, but you're brilliant… and prepared.” They both laughed and felt momentary peace.

Roger 

With hands shaking he looked in dumpsters. “Ew! Dumpster slime!" He whined aloud, shaking it off his hand. Images of Anne's note with her voice reading over it flashed through his mind. Could I be doing better for my daughter? He shrugged. “Nah, I'm a great dad!" He closed the dumpster and hummed to himself.

Orel

He lay in bed and looked at the ceiling, sleep refusing to acquaint with him tonight. The clock on the wall ticked too loudly. Clay's drunken mumbling was even more annoying than usual. Boy… Christianity ruined my best friendship… I should've listened to Doughy when he told me not to steal that stupid book when Ms. Censordoll wasn't looking!

He could just remember the anxiety on his friend's face. 

We should've played baseball like he wanted to! Instead I convinced him that his sweet old grandpa was sinning! Golly… 

He then recalled holding his pastry bag, barely listening to Doughy but still scoffing, “Doughy, don't you ever listen?" 

“...But I don't understand! Isn't he married to Mrs. Fakey?!" 

“Don't question your elders, Doughy!" 

He begged me to leave the bar, and I hardly paid attention to him! He rolled over, his body trying to convince his brain that would help. I saw how awful his parents are to him and I didn't help, or ask him how he was after Mr. Creepler nearly r-raped him! I just moved on and had the nerve to vent about me not getting to play Jesus in the pageant and other stupid stuff! His lip quivered and he shut his eyes as he prepared for a cry. No. He opened his eyes again. Starting tomorrow, he can sleep here whenever he needs to. He'll never be bullied by any adult or kid while I'm around, no matter what! I can and will do better! Sorry, Jesus, but Doughy comes first. He actually helped me after everything with my father. You didn't even make me soup like Stephanie. He closed his eyes again with a soft sigh. Unfortunately, sleep would have to wait; Clay was yelling from the stairs. “Say, Bloberta, have you seen my coat? I feel chilly and it's time to look for Papermouth's son.”

"In a second, I'm nursing! And it's his missing daughter. I think.”

"Oh, shocker, you nursing? I'll geddit myself. Laundry room?”

"Yes. I selfishly figured you didn't want leftover drool and vomit on it while you went in public. Stupid me.”

"Sounds like someone wants to lose their privileges to do the laundry!”

"You wouldn't dare." 

“Oh-ho-ho, you bet I would, Miss Uppity Puppington! Heck, I'll hire a maid, we've got money!”

"Mm, he wouldn't happen to be blond with a moustache and deep voice having dumped you on Christmas, would he, Clay?!”

"You-! Son of a-” Exaggerated footsteps departed. Orel pulled his blanket up. Glad that's over.

Dolly was right; bathing in what-ifs was a useless, unproductive pastime. While Florence, Rod and Orel were acknowledging that, unfortunately their next obstacle would be anger again.

For reference, as you probably guessed, Anne would be rescued. It would take bravery on everyone's part including her own to set the group free.

Chapter Text

Back in the present

The rain was hard at this point. 

Clay looked at his watch. Yeah, I give up. Papa needs a trip to the bar. He saw a few people from the search around though. “Uh, don't worry, ladies and gentlemen! I'll check the bar for little Allie or something! Never fret! And I'll pray, too! The Lord follows us everywhere, even bars when necessary!”

Florence caught Roger’s eye and ran up. “Your police car? If you're going to a far distance, I want to come!" 

"’Distance?’ Golly, no! Florence, I'm goin' home.”

"But- no!” 

"You just say ‘no’ to a cop, ma'am?" He threatened loudly, his smug smile emerging seeing it was catching everyone's attention. She was exhausted, but she'd reached her limit. Or rather, he'd lit a match that resurged her emotions. “Maybe I am," She growled, getting in his face. Once again, his smug smile faded seeing her lack of backing down. “You question my parenting. You make creating our daughter the only good thing about our miserable, useless marriage. You demand custody just because you wanted to spite me and chase me into a rat hole apartment with an abusive, rotten roommate.”

Dottie was walking by at that point. She was too engrossed in the drama to be insulted. 

“...You neglect our child and let her learn to use a gun, and shooting a gift I gave her with the damned thing! You try to cut my weekends with her short and belittle me in front of her, and again, you weren't even in the room when she was born!”

"’Course I wasn't! Lady parts give me the willies when I look at ‘em! I heard if a husband is with his wife while she's… doing that makes God uncomfy! And if I watched while you were… feeding her with yer other lady bits, the devil would make a black cat cross me and break my back after falling into a mirror!”

"Huh? Never mind. Wow, are you stupid. And now after being as at fault as me for her disappearance, you're leaving over rain. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” She turned around with fury hearing Dottie laugh aloud as her heels clicked to the rhythm of her condescending walk. “What do you want, ex roommate?" Florence spoke furiously through her teeth. “Boy, Florence. Talking that way to an officer? You truly are a witch." 

“Yikes!" Roger took this opportunity to bolt. Florence's was boiling. "I am in no mood for you anymore, Dottie. Back off. Don't you have another person to make sexist and fatphobic comments about to briefly please yourself?”

"Heavens, no!” Florence's cheeks turned red at Dottie's sarcastic kindness. "After all, you got a man in the end, and Reverend Putty of all men! All it cost you was your child!” Florence was about to punch her when something unexpected occurred; Rod did after coming from behind. "Don't talk about my girlfriend like that, Trophywife.” He took Florence’s hand. "You're almost as useless to this mission as Roger. Almost. And don't bother telling anyone what happened. No one will believe you. Plus, God's definitely on my side.” With a little dance and a sing-songy voice he added, “I speak for him, and you do no-ot, ‘cuz you're a pompous dirt bag!" Dottie was stunned watching them walk away. Dammit, they're right. I'm alone.

Florence was grateful to Rod and everyone who helped her, but she still couldn't sleep that night. At an hour she couldn't even identify it was so dark, she looked at him with love while he snored. Why can't I be more grateful?... 

Roger was also tossing and turning. Why can't I sleep? I'm a great dad, I know she'll come back to me with no trouble soon! So why the insomnia? He sat up and opened his red eyes. Florence's tantrum must've made my adrenaline go nuts! Yup, must be it.

Dottie smoked out on the balcony. Three Ambien and still no sleep! I took painkillers for Reverend's fit too, nothing hurts! A tear fell down her face. What the- I'm not wearing makeup I'm allergic to, I'm not pretending to grieve for public attention, so… goodness, I'm actually sad?! And alone! All these feelings of self realization, I hate it! She began to sob. Alone, with no one to blame but herself.

Clay was asleep on the couch, drooling.

8 AM

Orel woke up exhausted. 

He ate breakfast quietly. Desperate to draw attention away from his own obvious hangover, Clay laughed wryly. “Boy, son, if you were our Lord I'd say you woke up on the wrong side ‘a the manger!” Livid, Orel went to protest when Bloberta interrupted; “I hate to agree with your overcompensating and hungover father, Orel, but he has a point; don't you recall the lost 36th Commandment, son?" She placed some Orange Flavored Apple Juice on the table and sat down. Orel felt strange. Why isn't the mention of the bible sending usual tingles down my spine? “Uh, no, Mom. Remind me." Clay chuckled as he drank the juice from the bottle, visibly disgusting Bloberta. “Gee, you slip easily, son! It's simple.” Above one of the cupboards, Clay and Bloberta read the commandment together while pointing at it: “‘Thou must always be alert during meals, even when sickly or exhausted.’" 

"Sorry, Mom and Dad.” He chewed his eggs and tried to figure out why the topic of Christianity only wasn't overjoying him, but… making him annoyed? Thought of any kind was difficult of course with Block and Shapey giggling as they smeared hot eggs on their faces.  

Orel went to grab his backpack in his room. His SuperGod action figure was next to it for the packing, but he decided against it. What's wrong with me?...

Matters only got worse when the second bell rang for class and didn't bring Doughy with it. Looking at Doughy's vacant seat mocked him, brought more misery to him. Is he absent ‘cuz of me? Whatever's the matter, I bet it's my fault!

It was his turn to walk home from school, alone and looking as deserted as he felt. 

He walked past the Latchkey house and took a breath. Darn it, whatever is wrong, I'll fix it! Doughy's my best friend! He ran to the door.

“Yeah, what?" Kim answered. Orel was low on patience. “Hi, Mrs. Latchkey, I'm looking for Doughy." 

“‘Doughy?’ Huh! That shrill fat brat never came home yesterday! Sorry, friend not quite as annoying as him, Karl and I have no clue where he is, and we sure don't care!” She cackled. “What?! Doughy's missing again?! Oh, golly! This is my fault!" 

“Ew, kid feelings! Welp, if that's all as far as me and Karl are concerned…” She went to close the door which Orel boldly blocked. "No, it's not.” She was stunned by the anger on his face. She'd never seen this. Few had. "Doughy and I may be in a fight, but you're worse than me! You're monsters!”

"Uh, Karl?” Her delivery was nervous. Orel laughed. "Scared of a twelve year old? Well, you should be! Now turn your other cheek!” He kicked her shin. She yelped and fell to the ground, an opportunity which Orel used to kick, erm, turn her other cheek. Karl ran out. "What the-”

"You're next!” Orel charged him. 

Doughy was waking up. Oh, no! What time is it?! I only expected to sleep for a few hours! At least the rain stopped for now, but it's still real cloudy out. He sat up. Ow! My head! I must've had another seizure! He clutched his stomach. I sure am hungry! No! No more lazing. I gotta find Anne, prove myself to Orel- uh, God and Jesus. He stood up, which took labor. I'm not gonna waste any more time grieving when I could be proving I'm tough. Each step was pain, but he continued. 

Mr. and Mrs. Latchkey were now laying on the ground, moaning from ‘turning the other cheek.’ Orel walked away with zero regrets.

Christina wailed in her tent. She wiped her eyes. I hardly slept last night, it was so loud and soaked! I'm so stupid, I can't do this myself! I failed myself and Anne! She curled up. I don't deserve to live. I'm not strong, or smart, or helpful. Everyone will miss me for a while when I die but realize they're better off soon enough. She shut her drenched eyes, unsure of what else to do. The exhaustion was agonizing. 

Orel arrived at Buried Pleasures and felt his leftover anger dissipate. 

“Hiya, Stephanie!" 

“What's up, Orel? You seem better today!" She stacked some Wafer Edible Underwear on the shelf she was stocking. “Did you make up with Doughy?" 

“No." He felt his joy twisting. “He's missing again." 

“What?!" She dropped the box. “Oh, my god…" She ran over and hugged him. “So why were you so happy?!" 

“I went to his house to find out why he wasn't at school today and I ended up making his parents turn the other cheek." She suppressed a snicker. "You beat up Kim and Karl?! Beautiful.” She wanted to celebrate, but. It didn't help that Orel was now hysterically crying. "Boy, I chased him away! My best friend! And I wasted energy beating up his parents instead of doing something helpful. Oh, Stephanie, can I still be with you today? I could really use the distraction!”

"Anything you need, Shorty. It'll be a double search tonight.” She held him close.

Dolly entered Rod's house with caution and crept to his and Florence's bedroom. She cleared her throat softly to garner attention, unsure of what she'd find. Seated on the bed next to a sleeping Florence, he turned around and lit up a bit seeing Dolly. He left quietly and led her out.

“How was school?" He scratched the back of his head, unsure of how to start the conversation. She smiled. “Fine, although I kept going to the apartment forgetting Steph and I are staying here. But Florence; is this her first time sleeping?" 

“Yeah." He used the opportunity to slump and show how exhausted he was. “She's so tired she's either wailing or insisting to go find Anne herself, which she's in no condition to do. She's hardly eaten." 

“Oh boy. Y’know, she's asleep, so… maybe we look for Anne together?" 

"Uh… yeah! Let's go! Now.” His delivery was forced and unsure. Dolly bit her lip.

As he drove the car, she touched his shoulder. “Y'know, here's something I bet no one's asked you; how are you holding up?" 

"M-me?” He was caught completely off guard. "Look, Dolly, that's nice of you to ask, but I ain't the one with a missing kid. Florence and Anne are the real victims here.”

"She's kind of like your kid! And watching your girlfriend deteriorate like this must be so taxing!” She paused as he pulled over. "Rod?...” He hugged her. "Dolly Forghetty, thanks for caring! I need to unwind!” Once again, it was time for Dolly to play therapist.

Doughy looked at the sky. It's getting dark already?! I must've been out all day! I'm so useless! "No! Stop it!” He shrieked out loud to himself. No more self-hate! Gee, what was it Christina had said when I helped her the other day? Oh! Empathy is my greatest strength! If I were in these woods, which Anne might be, where would I hide? He lit up. "There's a shack off of a trail! I'm coming, Anne! Take that, Orel! Uh, Satan!” He ran and shortly slipped on wet leaves and got back up.

Christina was completely lost and panicking over the creeping darkness occupying the sky. I know I can find the tent, but how do I get out of here?! Golly, maybe I'm not that savvy with wildlife. All this time I thought I was tough, I'm just kidding myself. She kicked a rock. But weak as I may be, I came to save a kid. And that's what I'll do. Today. She marched on.

Florence woke up an hour later. She felt dizzy as the room spun, and she was still lacking rest. My poor Anne... She remembered her situation and her heart dropped, a feeling which worsened when she realized it was dark out. Dammit! She sat up. I'm not going to cry and feel sorry for myself anymore. I can and will find my daughter tonight, and she'll never leave my side again. And no sleep or food until I do find her. She got out of bed. 

Grabbing her coat, a flashlight and a blanket for Anne, she left the house. 

Starting the car, she got a flashback to Anne at age five:

“You're quite the little outdoorswoman, aren't you?” Florence laughed warmly seeing Anne climb a tree effortlessly. "Yeah, Mommy! I'm gonna learn to be the greatest explorer this town has ever seen!” Oh, Anne, that's a low bar. "Great for you, Annie darling!”

"I'm gonna look like our Lord in that picture when all the animals come to him!” She laughed as she mastered another branch. “Not quite, Anne! That picture has Jesus with auburn hair! He really has blond hair, just like you!" 

“Neato!" A branch snapped and sent her falling. Florence yelled but thought fast and caught her. Despite everything, they looked at each other and laughed. Florence melted even more as she put her grinning daughter on the ground and they resumed walking. “Can we come here on all your days off, Mommy?" 

“You bet we can!" The sun was bright and beat down on them.

She loves nature! She's at Blacklist! Florence drove recklessly, not caring who or what tried to get in her way.

The sun was gone, with only a sliver of light trying to make its presence known. 

But Doughy was close. He could see the shack. He bolted for it. 

When he arrived, he gasped. “Golly! The statue of our Lord! Oh, poor Jesus!" 

“Hello?..." Beckoned a weak, muffled and familiar voice. He gasped again. “Anne?!" 

"Yes?"

Chapter Text

Doughy was dumbfounded. “Anne! My gosh, it's really you! I-it's Is there another way in?! The hole I'm talking to you through is too small!" 

“I dunno… I'm trapped under the rocks." Her voice wasn't only weak but sounded labored. Doughy was heartbroken. I've been doing this for the wrong reasons… this poor kid! He stood with his mouth opened and guloed as he blinked.  “Don't worry, I will get you out, Anne! You're going home!" He heard a wheeze, which he could only imagine was meant to be a sigh of relief, followed by, "Thanks, Doughy. Quick, grab one of the rocks, use it to break more space for the hole!" 

"Whillikers, no! Vandalism is wrong, Anne! Jesus wouldn't like me to!”

"It's an abandoned shack that's already destroyed.”

"But God would-”

"Doughy!” 

"Yer' right, I know.” He looked at the fallen statue; of all things, the cross Jesus was holding was big enough to use as a sledgehammer. "Sorry, Lord,” He whispered to the sky. With a grunt and a swing, he made a huge impact on the shack’s decrepit walls. "Anne!” He saw a sick little girl, weak and crushed under rubble. She could hardly turn her head as she revealed a weak but sincere smile. “Ew, bugs!" Doughy flinched at the falling termites and ants. Then he took a deep breath and bested them as he ran to Anne, pulling her out of the rubble. She immediately hugged him. “How'd you find me, Doughy?!" 

“Well, besides God and Jesus being the default compass, I realized you're a smart kid and if you were in these woods, you'd take shelter. Let's get you home, Anne." He carried her out, basking in relief.

Christina spotted a fallen wrapper. Someone might be here! She heard the crunching of twigs. “Hello? Anyone here?" She called. They didn't hear her, whoever they were. But she definitely heard something. Guess my great hearing is useful! Grinning and feeling a surge of self confidence and optimism she'd found Anne, she jogged towards the footsteps, the moon as her witness.

“Christina?!" 

“Doughy?!" She looked down. “You found Anne Papermouth!" 

"He sure did.” Anne could hardly keep her eyes open. Doughy looked at Christina with desperate eyes. "Do you know how to get us outta the woods? God and Jesus are a little shy bein' my compass.” She thought for a second. "The stars! I learned how to follow them! Yes, come with me!” He sighed. “Gosh, I knew you could help!" She chuckled. “Thanks, but why?" She began to lead the way. “‘Cuz you're Christina, you can fix almost anything!" She blushed. “Now, that's a friend!" 

“When I was at my lowest, I thought of you telling me how my empathy is my best strength! Your's is being a problem solver! Just like Jesus!” She was overwhelmingly flattered. "Thanks, Doughy. And apparently my hearing. Say, I think we've both got stories to tell while we walk!”

"Sure do! You first!" 

“Bye, Mom, I'm joining the search party!" Orel grabbed his coat as he headed out the door. “Mm, good luck, dear!” Bloberta didn't look up from sewing God Loves Girls who Sew onto a doily. “Make the family look good, Orel, and try not to get lost yourself, for goodness sake!" 

“I will, and I won't! God is with me!" But is He? He rushed outside. Stephanie, Dolly and Rod were waiting for him in the truck.

Florence was nearing the forest, driving cautiously.

She pulled into the parking lot and rushed out.

What she didn't know was that she had passed a cop car a while back; Roger's.

He was drinking North Starbucks coffee. “Hey! That car’s speeding!” He started the car up, sirens and all. He sighed before driving and assumed a prayer position with his hands. “Lord, please don't let him be a criminal! It's awful dark and I gotta look for my Anne soon!" With that, he took off. 

"Bloberta, where's Orel? Kid left his Bible Barn toys in the hall again, it's ticking me off.” Clay came from downstairs. "Searching for the Papermouth child.” She was still sewing, ignoring Shapey and Block playing with a vacuum that was plugged in. "Yay, horsey!” Block clapped with joy. Clay snapped his fingers in frustration. "That darned kid!”

"What on earth do you care?” Bloberta scoffed. "Since when do you care an ounce about Orel's community work?”

"He agreed to go with me, it'll be good publicity! Ooh, if we get the reverend in a picture, hoo boy! My mayoral legacy will be cemented, baby! Screw it, I'll find him myself." He grabbed his own jacket and rushed out the door. Bloberta snorted. Too bad he can't cement his legacy in the bedroom.

Florence heard rustling in the woods. She gasped and her eyes immediately flooded. “Anne?" She whispered with a quivering voice. "Anne?!” It came out like un uneven yelp this time. Her eyes were enormous with anticipation.

Anne was asleep in Christina's arms. Doughy was carrying his and Christina's belongings. They shared a glance and ran.

Florence saw more than one figure approaching. “What-" 

"Ms. Paperteeth!”

"Doughy?!” She could just make him put in the dark and before she could ask anything, there came Christina. “Hello, Orel looking child! I-" Christina held up Anne and Florence screamed. “My daughter! My beautiful, beautiful child! My perfect Anne!" Anne woke up to Christina handing her off to her mother. “Mommy?!" 

“Yes, my darling, that's right! Oh, my baby!" Florence hugged her and sobbed harder than ever. "Mommy and the two incredible, heroic kids who saved you! Come in here, kids!” Doughy and Christina laughed and joined the hug. For the first time in a while, Doughy, Christina, Florence and Anne felt peace. Unfortunately, that was halted immediately by Roger clearing his throat. They all turned around. “Roger, look." Florence turned around and showed her daughter to her ex husband, her eyes glittering like the stars above them. Roger melted and took his hat off before embracing Anne. 

Burger Our King Jesus Christ 

After a day of starving, the group devoured food. Roger came to the table. "Okay, I got in touch with the station. I had them relay to Reverend Putty to meet us here.” Florence put her burger down. "Wow. Thank you, Roger.” She smiled. "May I speak with you privately?”

"Oh boy, please don't yell at me!”

"Roger.” 

"Fine.” Florence smiled at the kids. "Pardon us. And may I say how much fun you are, Christina.” Christina giggled. "You too, Ms. Paperteeth." 

Roger was quaking outside the restaurant. Florence was already losing her patience. “Will you calm down?! I'm not going to strangle you.” There are cameras and witnesses. "Y-yer’ not?”

"No.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, it's both our faults Anne went missing. And I think it's time we put aside our pettiness for her sake. It's time to be civil. So…” She held out a hand. "Friendly coparents?” He high fived instead of shaking. "You bet!”

"All I ask is on weekends, when you pick her up-”

"’Pick her up?!’ Please! After all she put me through? Florence, you take her, I'll visit her at church!”

"I get her full time?! You mean that?!”

"Heck yeah! I love her, but boy, kids are high maintenance!” She hugged him and laughed. "Bless your selfishness." 

They went back inside where Rod, Stephanie, Dolly and Orel were all at the table, gushing over Anne and her saviors. "Florence!” Rod looked at her. It was a split second but she could see the love, gratitude and relief in his eyes alone. She went to embrace him when she caught Roger out of the corner of her eye. Solemn, broken Roger. She rolled her eyes but took him with her.

He sat with them at the table; Florence, Anne, Reverend Putty, Zombie-raising blue kid, Boy with weird voice and hat, Girl who looks like the Zombie boy, Pierced person and Doily Forghetty from the bar. Yeah, that's right! He sat down. Everyone stared at him with resentment and dubiousness, not that he noticed as he took a sip of soda. “Guess I'm part ‘a this wacky made family, huh?" 

“No!" They all rang, piercing his ego with frowns. “I said civil and civil only," Reiterated Florence, Anne on her lap. 

Clay drove up to the restaurant. Boy, half-heartedly looking for a kid made me hungry. He craned his neck out the window and scoffed. That drive thru line is way too long. Screw it, I'm goin' in.

He walked in and saw Orel (luckily by the soda machine so Clay wouldn't know he was with Stephanie and Christina.) “Dad?!" 

“Well well well." Clay put his hands on his hips. “If it isn't Mr. Sneaks off to do community service without his father! Lemme tell you, Orel, even Jesus obeyed his father, who's God, may I remind you-" 

“Stop it, Dad. We both know you only did it to make yourself look like person who cares for their family." Clay stammered. He still wasn't used to Orel not obeying him blindly anymore. “And Anne was found, not that you care." Clay gasped. “Has it been phoned in yet?" 

“Yes! Thanks for helping, Clay, but-" Roger was heading out. Clay grabbed his walkie talkie. “Hey! Puppington!" 

“Pipe down, Roger," He snarled. “Attention dispatch, I, Clay Puppington, found Little… Papermouth! Ol’ Mayor Puppington found him, anyone who says otherwise is a liar and a sinner!”

"Her,” Growled Roger. "Whatever, Rog, congrats on finding your son. I expect a plaque by next week. I'm gonna order food now. Come on, Orel.”

"No. Officer Papermouth will drive me home. I'm celebrating with him, not that you asked.” Clay laughed furiously. "I'll be seeing you in the study if you don't come right now, Orel!”

"I'll take it. Bye, Dad.” Clay muttered some manic gibberish and ended up walking out of the restaurant altogether. Roger sighed. "Papermouth to dispatch, Clay Puppington was not, I repeat, not, responsible for her return. Doughy Latchkey and, uh…”

"Christina Posabule,” Urged Orel. "-And Christina Posabule went above and beyond to find Anne. She's safe now. Over and out." Roger looked at Orel and smiled. “G’night, Orel, and thanks." 

“Night, Officer Papermouth." They smiled civilly.

7:45

“Well, all fed," Announced Doughy. “I'm gonna go home." 

“...And then you'll go home with me," Added Orel. “I'll drive you kids home. See you at the house, Dolly, Dad, Florence and baby sister." Stephanie smiled. “You too, Christina?" 

“Sure. Thanks, Stephanie." As they left, Florence turned around. “And Orel?" 

“Yes, Ms. Florence?" 

“You have some incredible friends here. They're selfless, kind and brave as all get out. Doughy's empathy, Christina’s hearing and know-how, both of their amazing characteristics made them genuine heroes. Take good care of them." 

“You bet I will." He pulled them in for a side hug. “And I'll never, ever doubt their bravery and kindness." Doughy could have cried.

"Okay, Doughy, your house.” Stephanie pulled up in front of the Latchkey house and pictured Orel beating the crap out of them, an image they could now openly enjoy and laugh at due to the tragedy being over. "Okay, I'll be right back with an overnight bag!” Doughy leapt out.

He walked into the house. “Hi, Mom and Dad! I'm back! I'm gonna pack a bag and stay at the Puppington’s again." Karl and Kim were sitting on the couch holding ice packs on their cheeks. “Who gives a shit?" Piped Karl.  

Orel took Christina’s hand. “You sure you don't wanna sleep over too? Doughy's spending the night in secret too, no one’ll ever know!" She giggled. “Thanks, Orel. Next time my mom thwacks me on the back of my head with a cross for ‘being bad,’ I might have to take you up on that. But I gotta get home and shower, I owe my mom and friends an explanation of where I've been. Jesus won't tell them all himself!” They laughed heartily at that one. Stephanie rolled her eyes but smiled up front. “That's really cool of you, Christina." She turned around. “I hope you know how genuinely amazing you are."

“Thanks, Stephanie!" She blushed. Orel giggled. “Boy, I've got the toughest girlfriend ever! I never hafta worry with you around!” 

She entered her house with dread. Poppit was asleep on the couch. Hot dog! Maybe I won't hafta deal with her til morning! Thanks, God! She rushed upstairs.

She closed the bathroom. Forget the shower, I earned a bath! “Correct me if I'm wrong, Lord!" Evidently she was deserving of a bath and started the water.

Orel and Doughy waved goodbye to Stephanie as they drove off. “Okay, Doughy, think you can climb through my bedroom window unseen?" 

“You bet!" 

“Okay, I'll be up in a minute." He rolled his eyes. “Clay is expecting me in the study I'm otherwise not allowed in. Serves me right for doing what God would want." 

“Hey, you got this, Orel! And before I go up, I wanna thank you. I feel welcome… sort of.” Orel smiled and scurried to the front door. 

Stephanie was driving off, a smile on her face. Before she knew it, she was happy crying. Holy crap, this never happens. She was sobbing through a grin. Relief crying?! Is that a thing?! Everything feels so… good right now! I can't wait to get to Dad's and see Florence, Dad, Anne and Dolly! My family. 

Christina sunk into her well-deserved bath (filled with a teaspoon of Cruci-feel Clean Bubble Soap, a bottle which was sitting on the counter.) Thanks for the relaxation, God… she disappeared into a mountain of bubbles. Unfortunately Poppit's voice pulled her from her escaped reality. “Christina?! Did you come home after last night?" Christina arose. “I'm in the bath, Mol!" 

“Fine. See when you're done, you owe me and God a heck of an explanation!” Christina sighed, looking more annoyed than scared as she sank back into the tub. Immediately she felt calmer.

Doughy rocked in Orel's room. Boy, sneaking in here sure was weird! I know we won't hafta keep it private on weekends, and he wants to see that I'm safe tonight. But c'mon! Now I hafta sneak out early to get breakfast and stay in bed all day, that'll make Mom mad! Golly, I- “Ow!" He jumped and gasped. The faint sound of Clay's belt on skin was followed by Orel yelping. “I warned you, son! I warned you! And you can bet God's with me on that one! He's in the leather belt, Orel! For you and all the other rotten kids who don't obey their dads!" Doughy broke into a sweat. Do I help?! Both the thought of helping or staying made his stomach churn. To his surprise, he immediately heard a door shut. Orel's footsteps retreated up the stairs. "Hi, Doughy! My pop wore himself out and is asleep in his study chair, and my mom is feeding my brothers. Wanna get ready for bed?”

"Are you okay?”

"Oh, that? Huh. Used to it.” If Clay's beating and abuse hadn't been enough to reverse Doughy's sour mood towards Orel, the way he looked now was. He stood in his own doorway, the moon shining on his face. Doughy blushed and could have looked at Orel all night. But he cleared his throat. “Uh, sure. Ready when you are, Orel." 

Christina got out of her bath, putting on a robe and getting ready to embrace her mother's wrath. But when she opened the door, she heard Poppit crying. Mom?! She traced the voice to her mother's bedroom.

She poked her head in the door to see Poppit praying and happy crying. “Lord, thanks for returning my daughter! She's the only family I have left! Thank you!” Christina stared in astonishment. I've only seen her happy cry when it turned out her favorite vacuum was salvageable! Part of her wanted to run in, embrace the fact that her mother deep down did care for her. But she decided not to. If I go in, she'll punish me for eavesdropping. She stepped away from the door. Anne is okay and so’s her family, Orel and Doughy are safe, and I at least have a bed to sleep in. Whatever Mom punishes me with, I can take it.

Doughy and Orel settled into bed, Dougy on the air mattress. “Gee, Orel, that was our best night prayer yet!" 

"Ha! We always say that! Guess praising God gets better with age!” They giggled as if that were actually funny. “Again though, Doughy, I'm real sorry about what I said. You're not a scaredy cat, and you didn't ruin my life." 

“I'm sorry too, Orel. I shouldn't have been so scared ‘a what the adults in town would think. Let's agree to make our own decisions from now on!" 

“Yeah! So long as it'd be okay with God and Jesus!" 

“Well, that oughta go without saying!" They laughed quietly, a sliver of the moon shining on them and their laughter being muted by Block and Shapey screaming.

Christina walked into her room rubbing her head. Mom and that stupid cross… that's gonna leave an awful bruise. She assumed a prayer position but contemplated for a minute. Huh. I bested the woods, helped save a child's life, reunited a family and I'm still in one piece. Maybe I'm not as useless as I thought. Maybe- “Christina Posabule! I don't hear any praying!" 

“Dear God," She emphasized. “Thanks for…" 

Stephanie pulled into Rod's driveway. The light from the living room beckoned them, which they were happy to get out of the car for and follow.

Chapter Text

"Okay, Anne, Rod's drawing you a bath. Dolly, please stay with her while I check up on it.” Florence placed Anne on the couch and headed for the bathroom. "Ms. Dolly, can I ask you something?" Anne's eyes were wide and tired. “Sure, kiddo." She wrapped the shivering child in a couch blanket. Stephanie walked in at that moment. “Hey, Anne!" She sat down next to her and wrapped her arm around the child before kissing Dolly on the lips. "What's up?" 

“Oh good, now I can ask you both!" Anne let the warmth of Dolly's coat spread and sighed. "Cozy. But, um. Are Rod and Mommy mad?”

"Of course not!” Dolly kissed her head. "They feel awful!”

"You think they would've packed your suitcase so you could move in if they didn't love you?” Stephanie tousled her hair. Anne smiled. “I guess not." 

“And remember, you didn't cause any of their fights.” Dolly squeezed her hand. "Your jerk father did,” Blurted Stephanie. "That's why you're living here now.” Dolly frowned at Stephanie who felt guilt over her bluntness. Anne burst into laughter. “He is a jerk!" The trio laughed, attracting Rod and Florence back into the room. The family was all laughing and happy in the living room, just like Florence had dreamed. Joy overtook her as her eyes watered with another bout of joyful tears. Rod sat down. “Wow… this time last year, I was a clueless, stupid misogynist and transphobe. Now, the most important people in my life are some women, including a trans one, and my genderqueer child. And I couldn't be happier.” He looked at his family who looked back at him with love. The Putty-Paperteeth house was full and at peace.

Florence washed Anne's hair in the tub. “Mommy, are Ms. Dolly and Stephanie gonna live with us forever?" She sighed happily feeling warmth on her scalp. Florence chuckled. “No, dear. Just until the end of the week so they can see we're on our feet. Then, the room they're using will be all yours! We'll pick up your stuff from Daddy's tomorrow and you'll be with Rod and I.” She brushed some stray hairs out of her daughter's face. "We'll do whatever it takes to make you happy, darling. We all love you so much.”

"I love you too, Mommy.” Florence started crying again. I'm never going to let my child suffer again. The silence spoke beautiful volumes, creating its own serenade of parent-child love as they looked at each other.

Dolly and Stephanie sat on the guest bed where they'd been staying. Dolly was changing into pajamas. “Stephanie, may I just say what a badass you are. You have been not only a rock, but a supportive angel, uh, pardon the pun, for your dad and Florence. Are you okay?" 

“I am now. I was stressed out of my mind and honestly cried in private, but now, I've never felt more relaxed." They flopped on the bed with a sigh. Dolly flopped next to them and they laughed. “Seriously, thanks, Dolly. I love you. You were quite a support system yourself." 

“Well, then, how about I support your junk with my mouth?" 

“Gee, subtle, intellectual, creative and hot. Who wrote that phrase, Shakespeare?”

"Oh, shuddup.” They laughed and kissed. And didn't stop. In fact, Stephanie put a hand under Dolly's bra. They were cut off by a knock at the door. “Come in!" They sang anxiously, Stephanie flying off their girlfriend. Rod came in. “Hey, you two got a minute?" 

“Of course, Dad." He smiled and sat on the bed. “Just… Thank you. Thanks for your bravery, your words of support, your presence…” He teared up. "Thanks for being my kids. Now all three of them are safe.” He winked at Dolly and hugged them both.

Rod waited on the bed for Florence naked. He heard her approaching and bit his lip. “Are you sure it's okay I sleep with you and Rod, Mommy?" He heard Anne say. "Oh boy.” He panicked and ran to the closet. “Yes, of course.” Florence answered sweetly. As he got dressed in a panic he still smiled at her voice. She has her usual, happy delivery back. He stumbled into bed and pretended to pray, fully dressed in pajamas when Florence came into the room, Anne on her shoulders. “Hey, my two special ladies! C’mere. I think we earned a great night's sleep." Florence and Anne beamed.

In an hour

"Finally, privacy!” Stephanie was on top of Dolly again. "I can hear my dad snoring, we're in the clear!” Dolly giggled. "You really wanna have sex in your dad's house?" 

“Honey, I need you. I've never felt this way about anybody, and I can't go until Sunday without being with you. Besides… you look hot in your little pink PJs.” Dolly's flattered giggle turned to a squeal as Stephanie kissed her neck. Another knock at the door. "Dammit, the crotch blocking…" Stephanie made it to the door, putting her pajamas back on in the process. On the other side of the door was Anne. Dolly smiled sheepishly, embarrassed. “What's up, kid?" Stephanie smiled at her. “Rod keeps kicking me, I can't sleep! Can I sleep with you and Dolly? I bet you're way calmer." Stephanie smiled and picked her up. “Of course, Anne. Right this way." 

Anne was out cold the minute Stephanie and Dolly turned off their lights. They kissed and looked lovingly at the little girl, their sister, between them. Stephanie shut their eyes. A full family that loves me… I feel complete. 

Dolly pulled the blanket up. An amazing partner and parents who didn't disown me. Plus not spending time in fear and listening to men's derogatory comments. I can get used to this.

The moon shone bright over Moralton. Not everyone was happy, but for the first time in what seemed like ages, Orel, Doughy, Christina, Rod, Anne, Florence, Dolly and Stephanie were happy. And for the first time altogether, they felt complete.

The next day, Florence got out of the shower and entered the bedroom. Rod had left her a box of chocolates and a note. Dear Pink, I had to go to work, but know I'll be there for you and the family tonight. Love you all to pieces, but the Lord ain't gonna write sermons for himself! Love ya, give Anne a kiss for me! Florence giggled and blushed.

At the church

Rod sat in his office, humming to himself. There was a knock at the door. If it's Fakey or someone else stupid again… “Fran?!" He answered with unbridled shock. “Hello, Reverend. Have a moment for a chat?" Rod recognized her maliced ‘I’ve got you now’ grin and gulped as sweat prickled his scalp.

They sat in the pews. “Okay, Ms. S." 

“C, you ninny. Miss C, not Ms. Do I look like a hairy, pudgy, sports coat wearing lesbian?”

"That's what you think feminism is? Oh boy. Look, Fran, I can see you're achin' to blackmail me. I've got work to do. Spill it already.” She was alarmed by his nerve. Why on earth isn't he bowing to my will?! "Look, Putty, I know about you and Florence.” He blinked. "That's it? You know I'm in love with my girlfriend, the one you threw rotten vegetables at for years in front of her kid for her weight? Ooh, scary.” He mockingly waved his hands in her face, which she smacked away without her scowl flinching. "Ow! Mother of cupcakes, Fran!”

"Look, Putty, I know you're living with that Florence girl. Unmarried.” She got in his face, knowing she now had his attention. "In sin.” She stood up and gestured to the crucifix on his pulpit. "What do you think our Lord and savior would think of that? Might be time for Moralton to assume new power, eh?” He swallowed. What am I gonna do?!

The thought still clung to him on the drive home, where he was wide eyed and sweating. Uncertainty took digs at his mind.

He felt a twinge of relief when he pulled up to the house and exhaled.

When he walked in, Florence was reading on the couch, relaxed. Now he felt a bit of genuine joy. “Hey, honey." He kissed her cheek. “How are you and the kid? You certainly look relaxed." 

“Fine, Rod. She's been sleeping all day and amazingly has no fractures!” He smiled smugly. You can thank your amazing boyfriend for praying for her, Florence. He sat down next to her. The light from the late afternoon was shining on her face and brightening her eyes. His uncertainty began to crumple. No matter what the town knows, I choose Florence. I choose her and Anne. I'll risk anything. “Something the matter, darling?" Florence put her book down and touched his hand. With her own hand showcasing her long, delicate fingers. "Look, Florence, can I talk to you privately out back? I promise it affects us in no way, but I don't want Anne to be upset. This is for the grown-ups.”

"Okay, sure.” As they walked to the backyard, her ears rang. He'd said nothing was wrong, but old paranoia clung to her and a surge of dread made her want to scream or do anything to get out of the situation. She took mini breaths.

They sat on the swing out back, the sunset more beautiful than ever. “What's wrong, Rod dear?" Rod smiled softly at her. “I oughta be askin' you that. You're shaking. Relax, we're okay." He took her hands and flipped her mood with a reassuring smile. “Just… perhaps not financially.”

"Honey! Oh, were you fired?”

"Not quite… but I may be. Like I said, we need to talk.”

Stephanie came home at that point. Huh. Nobody home. 

She crept quietly into the guest room to put her purse down and made sure to be extra quiet for the sake of Anne, fast asleep. A sight that made her smile. She then heard the front door open, this time acquainted by the sound of a familiar pair of sneakers. Dolly! She quietly rushed out. 

“Stephanie, Rod, Anne and or Florence! I'm home!" She froze seeing Stephanie scowling at her. "What?!”

"Anne is sleeping! Quiet!”

“Ha." She smiled with embarrassment. “Whoopsie."

“It's okay, I'm sick of sleeping." Anne came out from the hall in her little green robe. “What's going on?" 

"Well, I'm making a snack.” Dolly smiled at her and made her way to the kitchen. "You two want anything?”

"Yeah, I'll come with you.” Stephanie looked at Anne. "Wanna learn to make food with us?”

"You bet I do!”

“...But I couldn't care less about the job! I want you and Anne, Florence! I wanna be with my family." Florence could tell he was serious, but he would miss his job and she knew that. So she smiled. "Is that all, sweetheart? Well, only one thing left to do.” She stood up and got on her knee. "Rod Putty, will you marry me?" 

Dolly happened to peek out the window. “Whoa. Rod and Florence?! Guys, something's up with your parents!" From the view of the kitchen window were two adults crying joyfully and kissing. Dolly picked up Anne so she could see. “Boy, they sure look happy!" The seven year old declared with a smile. Stephanie stood closer to both of them. “Yeah, they do." 

“Hey, why are they getting undressed? I'd say they were getting into bathing suits, but Rod doesn't have a pool! See? My mommy's in her underwear!" Dolly and Stephanie looked at each other with panic and with Anne still in Dolly's arms, fled the room. "We can never sit on that swing again,” Stephanie hissed, slightly traumatized.

The next day at Buried Pleasures

Rod came walking in, still feeling the high of getting proposed to. “Dad!" 

“Steph!" He ran over and greeted them with a kiss on the cheek. “Is Orel here yet?" 

"You beat him by like five minutes. What's up?” 

"Well, he's always been supportive of…" 

“Literally everyone?" They perked up. “You want him to be at Town Hall tomorrow, don't you?”

"Him, Doughy and Christina!”

"Huh. Plus Anne, Dolly and I?”

"Just us!”

"Wow. I know you'll be hamming it up Sunday to a level that's likely problematic, but still. Good for you for keeping it mellow for now.” Their smile warmed him and put an expression of ease on his face. They always did. "Well, we're on a tight schedule. We can't let Fran release my ‘dirty laundry’ by Sunday, or we're gonna be the new Judases! Plus… Florence doesn't like that much attention. I'll strut like an Anglo-Saxon peacock Sunday when no one's around to bother her.”

"Uh…" Luckily Orel's arrival put a pin in Stephanie's confusion. “Hey, Shorty! Early today!" 

“Yeah." He panted. “I had to drop off homework at Doughy's, he's great by the way and says hi, I just ran ‘cuz I didn't wanna be late!" 

"Love that moxy, Orel, but please hydrate!” Rod turned around to face him with a smile. “Reverend Putty! Hi! Boy, I almost didn't recognize you!” He pulled a water bottle out of his backpack and chugged. Rod chuckled. "With your keen senses, I have a very hard time believing you didn't recognize me, Orel.”

"Yeah, it's just that I didn't know how bald you were!” Rod simmered as Stephanie stifled some loud laughter. "Dad, is there something you wanna ask Orel?”

"I don't know anymore, Stephanie.” His teeth were bared. “Dad! Be nice.”

Chapter Text

Moralton Town Hall, 4:02 the next day 

Florence Paperteeth and Rod Putty-Paperteeth embraced one another as their marriage license was approved and they stared at their new certificate. Anne was now legally Anne Charlotte Paperteeth and beamed at her own certificate.

I'm married to Rod Putty! This is beyond my wildest dreams! Oh my goodness, I'm elated! And I couldn't ask for better witnesses! Florence looked like she was melting into her spouse. 

Rod was feeling new levels of joy himself; Holy crud, thanks, God! I knew being loyal to you would come in handy someday! Goodbye, Lonely Man Lotion, hello, perfect wife! Also I'm only going by Putty because these jokers in Moralton don't respect feminist ideals, but you know I'm Putty-Paperteeth!

Their witnesses were also in awe. 

Stephanie stared at her father with amazement. Wait to go, Dad. You've come so far. Florence is such a sweet person and you got her. Congratulations. She held Anne on her arms, who was so happy to not be alone anymore, let alone have an older sibling who adored and respected her. Mommy is happy, Reverend Putty- Dad, is nice now, I have two older siblings and the people I love most are all in this room. She took Dolly's hand in a free one, who beamed. Damn. Running a bar for years in Moralton genuinely convinced me that hiding behind God and Jesus blocked anyone from getting a happy ending. I was wrong. She made eye contact with Anne. Even I got a happy ending. The kids felt the joy too; Doughy grinned from ear to ear. Boy, I've never seen Florence or Reverend Putty, uh, Putty-Paperteeth this happy! Maybe Moralton isn't as bad as I thought! Maybe God is still watching! Oh, boy! Christina gave him and Orel a side hug. I can't believe I used to care that the boy I like says the Lord's prayer differently. At this point I don't care if this room was full of aliens, I know real love when I see it! She looked around at her friends in the room. I feel all the joy and love in this room too…Orel looked happier than he had in a long time. This is amazing! It's like God's love is raining on us, but not the kind of rain that needs the Jesus umbrella Dad broke from drunkenly stepping on it!

They all ran out of Town Hall giddily. Rod picked up Anne and scooped her, looking at her with love as she laughed.

Doughy, Orel and Christina laughed in Stephanie's truck all the way home.

Christina didn't even feel the usual dread approaching her house; she waved goodbye to her friends. “See you and all your friends Sunday, guys!" The boys waved. 

They continued their trek home, still smiling and laughing. 

Sunday

“...And lemme tell ya, siblings in Christ, what a thrill!” He showed off his wedding ring, which sparkled in the morning sun. “Lemme tell ya something about married life, folks, uh, if romance is for you…” He winked at Doughy, who smiled sweetly. "I am loving…”

Unfortunately not everyone was enjoying this as much as Doughy and of course, Orel. 

Dottie glared at Rod with pursed lips, sour as ever. Is he doing this crud on purpose?! Good lord, what a jerk!

Millie Fakey twirled her hair. Wait! What am I upset about?! I'm rid of that lummox with an annoying voice! Plus he's an attempted rapist, so I'm free! She smiled. 

Fakey himself, however, was ready to boil. I oughta punch that God boy in the jaw! If he didn't know all my dirty laundry, I'd snap him like a wooden cross!

And of course, the Puppingtons.

It's like he's heckling me. Clay was too intoxicated to know if his frustration was noticeable as he tried to hide his fists. I dunno if that slob Florence is good I'm the sack or the mouth or a good cook, or Putty is just desperate! She's so ugly, and fat by nature? Ew! He caught his own scowling wife out of the corner of his eye. On second thought, she's better than that broad I married who sings bravada while doing nothing all day as she lets two kids that aren't related to you sip from her once nice chest! Boy, what a mess I've made for myself… at least Bloberta's kinda hot though. Not enough to make me want to look at her half the time, but she ain't Florence ugly!

Bloberta's own fists were shaking with anger. I wish that Florence were here; she sure doesn't have beauty going for her, so therefore I don't like her even though we've never spoken. But surely she knows how desperate this man is, I bet that's what this marriage is, is she so desperate herself she denied it? Oh well, both their losses. Plus I bet she didn't marry a gay alcoholic who poisoned her with a big-headed child who wrecked her birth canal and blasts music at five AM. She has a fighting chance, sort of. 

“...But for real, folks, romantic, familial, platonic… try love instead of all this resentment and hypocrisy! Like believing in the Lord for example!”

Orel was even more invested now.

As everyone was leaving, in a turn of events, Rod pulled Orel over. “Orel?" 

“Yes, Reverend Putty? Mom, Dad, you go ahead." They did, with scarcely a shrug. Rod felt a wave of sympathy. "We still on for dinner Thursday?”

"You bet! Say, Doughy, Tommy and his pals are meeting Christina and her friends at the park! Does Anne wanna come? The more the holier!”

"I don't see why not! I'm sure Dolly wants to be relieved of her babysitting duties anyway. Just… she's still recovering, Orel. Be gentle with her.”

"Huh! We will, as gentle as a lamb from the bible. We packed lunch too, she can share mine!” He held up a lunchbox. “Bye, Reverend Putty!" He ran off. Rod felt at peace and for the first time didn't need the appreciation of churchgoers who hardly knew him. I have all I need. 

Earlier

Back in Stephanie and Dolly's apartment, Dolly squealed in bed. Stephanie rose up. “Bet you were waiting for that this week."

“How's it my fault there's no privacy in your dad and Florence's house? But for real, I wouldn't swap out time with Anne for anything." Dolly's giggle was breathy. Stephanie laughed and sat next to Dolly. “She’s a great little sister. I'd kiss you, but my breath can't be good right now. I gotta get ready for work. And you have to get ready to watch Anne.” They tousled Dolly's blond hair and grabbed their pink scrunchie off of the bedside table. It had been in front of a new picture of them, Dolly, Florence Rod and Anne as a family. Stephanie smiled. Not only would they never be alone again, they had a whole family. Dolly caught them staring at the picture as she got dressed and kissed her partner’s cheek, and they looked at each other with love.

Anne was having the time of her life with Orel and company. 

The picnic was fun and Tommy's friend Marcel had brought an outdoor rocket that amazed all of them as he showed off the box.

By the time Orel and Doughy walked Anne home she was asleep in Orel's arms. “Boy, Orel, how'd ya get so strong?" Doughy whispered as they entered the Putty-Paperteeth residence. Orel giggled softly. “Years of prying Shapey and Block off everything, I guess. I'll bet Christina has the same strength too.” They were about to knock at the front door when Florence pulled up. "Hiya, Ms. P.!” The boys whispered together. "Anne played with us and our pals all day, I think we wore her out!” Doughy gestured to her, a bit nervous Florence would be displeased. She grinned. "Thanks, boys! You're so sweet! I'll take her.” Orel handed her off delicately. "It's been hard for Anne to make friends, you know. She's such a shy kid, and kids with divorced parents are not popular among Christians. So from the bottom of my heart, thanks dearly.” 

"You bet. She’s lots of fun, she can play with us anytime! Bye, Ms. Paperteeth! See you Thursday!” Orel winked and the boys ran off.

Florence cradled her daughter in her arms as the late day sun glowed on them both. She kissed Anne's head and took her inside.

Anne woke up later on the couch. “Look who's up." Florence sat next to her. “Momma, may I have a snack? I'm hungry." 

“Sure, baby, but Daddy's making dinner tonight, so don't spoil your appetite." 

"But Momma! I can't handle another one of those dinners!” Florence laughed. "Don't worry, sweetie, I'm helping him cook tonight.”

"So the food will taste like yours?”

"I'm hoping so!” But I have my damn work cut out for me.

In an hour

Rod stood eagerly in the kitchen. “Hiya, Pink! I'm waiting for my cooking lesson! Now I got you and the Lord cookin’ with me! So, I figured we'd make scallop salmon pie delight casserole! It was a hit at the church potluck." 

“Uh… what? I scarcely understand what you said, dear.” He sighed in defeat. “Me neither. I secretly borrowed the recipe from Bloberta Puppington. Boy, I'm not too good at this, am I?" She put a shoulder of support on his. “I'll explain. Don't you worry." His disappointed expression turned to gratitude as he looked his wife in the eyes and was overcome with a sense of relief.

That night, the family sat down to a (coherent) dinner of quiche. Rod stared for Anne's reaction, biting his lips with big eyes. Florence grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed. “Wow, Dad! This is great!" Rod exhaled with relief. “I mean, ya ate without saying grace, but-" Florence nudged him and he got quiet. 

Despite not thanking God for “helping," Rod Putty had the one of the best meals of his life. "Best dinner ever! Food is better with company!" Florence laughed. "It helps when it's not frozen too." She kissed his cheek. Anne stared joyously at her parents and seemed to be overtaken with pride seeing parents who adored each other.

That night, Rod read to Anne at bedtime. “...And Baby Bear saw some random loner kid in his bed and-" He heard a noise and looked at Anne. She was asleep and breathing heavily. “Oh, that's nice, kid, just sleep over me. If I wanted to waste my breath I'd preach one ‘a my gold sermons to a bunch 'a Catholics!" 

“Rod!" Florence glared at him from the door. He bit his lip and scurried over. “I'm sorry, just-" 

“Look, old habits die hard, I know. I'll forgive you if you just look at her." They turned around and looked at the seven year old, smiling in her sleep and curled up. Secure and safe after years of neglect, now in a house with loving parents, plus friends and an extended family which included siblings who formed on her. Rod practically melted. “They don't make seven year olds cuter and more pure than that. I'm so sorry, Anne." Florence acknowledged his guilt and rested her head on his shoulder. “Well, maybe finally having a father who loves her helps a bundle." 

“Nah. All you, Pink. Love ya both." They embraced love in the room momentarily, with each other and their daughter. “You horny?" Florence broke up the tenderness. “Read my mind. We've had no privacy with Dolly and Stephanie around. Love them both and I miss having them here, but good corn, I need my wife!" Rod giggled. They walked out, turning Anne's light off.

They lay in bed, looking at each other. “I missed 'dessert' tonight, Florence!" He winked flirtatiously. Florence giggled. “Maybe I can help-" 

“Mommy, Daddy? Can I have water?" Anne called. “Oh come on!" Rod threw his head back.