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Stretching out I roll over and reach towards Peter. My hand finds the warm covers and I wiggle across the bed chasing his body heat. Today is Monday and I have the day off school due to some teachers’ thing going on. Which is awesome because this is the first Valentines Day I’ve ever had a honey to share it with.
Reluctantly opening an eye I can see the bed beside me is empty and I grunt in annoyance, there goes my plan to wake up to Peter cuddles.
I’ve spent the time since we got back from New York thinking, and frankly I’m still confused, but I do know I like Peter cuddles and Peter kisses and making out with the guy. He promised me that we could start exploring me topping him so part of my present to us both for Valentines is a very lazy kissing session in bed, but a lack of Peter has just derailed that plan.
“He’s in the kitchen,” My dream Scott is sitting at the bottom of the bed, “He’s humming and taking forever on the breakfast,” Peter’s so totally up to something.
Slipping out of the bed I go to pee and then slide back into the nice warm spot I was just in. Sleeping naked has its good points but its freaking cold in winter when you nip to the bathroom. Snagging my phone I start reading and leave Peter to work on the breakfast, he’d have woken me up if we were going to sit at the table and eat, so I’m guessing I’m about to have breakfast in bed.
“He’s loading up a tray,” Scott says and he gives me a thumbs up, my dream Pack are trying to let Peter in, they still aren’t happy with him or how he started this relationship with me but they care about me and are willing to give him a chance for as long as I’m willing to give him a chance.
Soundlessly the bedroom door opens and Peter steps in carrying the tray. I can see a single solitary red rose from this angle and I put my phone down and sit up in bed. “Hey Honey,” I greet him, “Wow breakfast in bed.”
“Darling,” he glides over to me and puts the tray in my lap, I get to see the stack of heart shaped pancakes he’s made me, “I hope you enjoy it.”
“Pancakes, awesome,” I beam up at him and he walks around the bed to get in his side. He moves up close to me and takes his plate of honey covered toast to eat. I stab my fork into my breakfast and take a big bite, “Oh god these are heavenly,” I tell him with my mouth full.
“I’m glad you like them,” he smiles at me and we eat breakfast with him delicately eating his and me stuffing my face, damn he is a good cook.
Mopping up the last smears of syrup with the last piece of pancake I groan and take my medication with a swig of juice, “Oh that was great, thank you Peter,” He’s nursing his coffee and blows me a kiss, “Now are you ready for your present?”
He’s spent the last week trying to find out what I was getting him, it’s been hell trying to get him something and hide it from him. I decided on giving the whole thing to Aaron and leaving it in his capable hands, then I picked it up yesterday and smuggled it out of my friend’s house along with my Xbox. I really hope Peter didn’t catch on with my deception.
“Hmm, present?” He lazily lifts an eyebrow, “You were very adamant we were to stick to something small and simple,” and I have been because I really didn’t think I could pull this off without Peter finding out.
“Yeah,” I can’t help grinning at him because I think I’ve totally gotten away with this.
He narrows his eyes at me, he knows I’m up to something, “Well in that case,” he slides back out of the nice warm bed and gathers up the breakfast things, “Stay here and I’ll get part of your present.”
Laying back I keep the nice warm covers up as my over full stomach protests even the slightest movements. Peter must use his Alpha speed because he’s soon handing me a very simple folder and climbing back into bed with me.
Confused I open up the folder and find some very nice information about a giant mansion right on the edge of Beacon Hills and I just stare at it. “I don’t understand,” I tell him and part of me is hoping this his way of saying I can go back, but part of me is hoping like hell that’s wrong, I might want to see my dad but I can’t face the others, Scott, Lydia, Derek. I’m afraid to see them again. “I thought we were building our lives here, in Wolf Creek,” Miles and miles away from Beacon Hills.
“It’s not for us,” he leans in and kisses my shoulder, “It’s for your family. Since Mr Williams told us all about the troubles they’ve been having I thought I’d check and see if there was anything else we could do.” His face is starting to lose all emotion. “I know you worry over your dad, so I bought this, and it’s big enough that any of the broken Pack of Beacon Hills can move in if they want to. They will always have a roof over their heads, they will never be homeless.”
Pulling the sheets of paper out of the folder I look more carefully at the giant sprawling monstrosity Peter bought and there are more than enough bedrooms for everyone. There’s also a library, a swimming pool, a gym, a huge kitchen, and I can see that this would be an ideal house for a Pack of werewolves, they really could find shelter there.
“Stiles,” Peter’s voice is soft, “I won’t ever let you go back there. You’re mine. I won’t lose you to them. But I know they mean a lot to you. Everything you’ve done for them, all the time and effort you put in, I want to show you that I will do a lot to protect them too, that pleasing you really is my main goal.”
I can see that, I’ve witnessed that time and again. I’ve also seen that Peter will do anything to keep what he wants, which is me. I can see the gift he’s offering me, in the way he’s trying hard to present it to me, that because he cares about me he’s trying to provide for those I care about, but that little bit inside of me wiggles and points out that this could be another way for Peter to control me, to make me do what he wants, to make me stay. With a few words to a lawyer he could, very easily, make them all homeless.
Shrugging off the negative I lean over and kiss his nose, “Thank you, knowing they will always have somewhere to call home is a big thing Peter.”
“You’re welcome,” he tilts his head and offers up his mouth, I take the hint and press a quick peck there.
“Your turn,” I put the sheets of paper back in the folder and then make a dash for the office. Yep naked is great until you get out of bed and move around, then it’s not so great. Kneeling down I pull out the two presents I got for him, and Aaron’s mom, Sharon, wrapped them up for me.
Hurrying back I get under the covers and shove them at him, “Here, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to top this next year, you might just be getting flowers.”
Each of the two presents are as big as a sheet of copy paper and as thick as my thumb. One of them is wrapped in creamy coloured paper, the other is wrapped in paper covered with red hearts. Peter sniffs at them and frowns, “They smell like the Masons.”
“Yep, totally had to drag them into it, there was no way I could sneak any of this past you otherwise dude,” I watch as he uses a claw to pick the tape off of the cream one and slides out a box.
I saw it when we were shopping and then had to slip the money to Aaron to buy them and the thumb drives. “It’s fully charged,” I tell him and he pulls the picture frame from inside the box. It’s one of those electronic ones, you load your pictures onto a small storage device and then the frame will cycle through the pictures for you. The added benefit to this one is that you can have it engraved, I’ve had our wedding date and our names put around it, and I’ve had the best wedding photos loaded onto it.
Seeing Peter flick the frame on I get to watch his face as it loads up the first picture of us, it’s set on random and it starts to move to the next one as Peter just looks stunned. He sits there and stares at it without speaking, when he does lift his head he’s back to being my Peter, the nice one, the loving one, “Stiles,” even his voice is nice and loving.
Cheekily I point to the other one, “You still have one present to open Peter.” I have to hold the current photo frame for him because he doesn’t seem to want to put it down.
I’m not that imaginative with presents because this is kind of the same, except this is loaded with all the photos we’ve taken since we got together. From the first one I took in our bed in Salt Lake City to the one he took the other week in our kitchen. I’ve only included ones he knows we were together for, ones my friends have taken of me at school have been left out.
This time he touches the screen itself and runs his fingers down, “Darling, I,” and I get to see a very speechless Peter.
“You like them,” I state it and do a fist pump, “Yay, go me, first Valentine’s present is a success, yeah I am so the man, dude you have an awesome husband,” I gently nudge his shoulder with mine and give him my best smug expression.
“I believe my husband is beyond awesome,” he even says it quietly and I think I may have broken Peter.
When he’s still sitting there ten minutes later and just touching the screens I realise I may have made a mistake. He’s obsessive over me, he even has a crazy cupboard full of me, may be adding to the crazy was a bad idea. “Peter?” I touch his shoulder, “Wanna get up and go take a shower with me?”
“I,” He blinks a few times and nods. “Yes, I would very much like to take a shower with my husband, my Mate.”
“Cool, because you are totally washing my back for me,” Just like he usually does.
He puts both of the frames on the side and then we go take a shower. We have a few plans of stuff we want to do today and I chatter about them as he soaps my back. “So do you want to take sandwiches and food when we go into the forest? Man I am pumped we got the entire Harry Potter series on our Kindle.” Hands slide around waist and Peter presses into my back, I pat his hands and lay mine over his as I lean back into him. “Hey Honey, you okay? I didn’t break you or something did I?”
“No,” He’s gruff, “I just didn’t think you would do something so romantic for me, I thought I would always be the aggressor in that area, that you would never reciprocate,” he rests his chin on my shoulder. “Thank you Stiles, thank you for giving me hope.”
I’m not always sure how to handle him when he’s like this, considering the dark things I’ve seen him do he’s shockingly mushy if you give him an opening. “Peter, we never really started off on the right foot. Now you’re less insane, things are better between us, right?”
“Right,” is whispered straight into my ear and I’m suddenly really, really, aware how naked and wet and slippery we both are in the shower. The same shower we mated in, the same one I pushed him up against the wall and had my first orgasm for months.
Clearing my throat awkwardly I turn my head to look at him but the angle is wrong, “Well, you’ve only seen me one way Honey, you never got to see over the top attempting to be romantic Stiles, trust me I’m not very good at it, but I put way more effort in than other dudes do.”
His hands and arms tighten just a little, “From what I’ve seen today, I like that side of you Stiles, I’m aware you’re very practical, so I will take any and all gestures from you and cherish them.”
Yeah he is seriously mushy. Though there’s now something hard pressing into my buttocks. The usual panic starts to build and I breathe sharply in and then out, as the air leaves me, so does the panic, because this is Peter, and Peter won’t hurt me that way ever again. I’m safe with Peter.
“Stiles,” he murmurs into my ear, “Do you need me to move away?”
The last of the panic fades and I know deep down that if I really needed him to move and give me space he would. “No, I’m okay, I just had a moment.”
“If you’re sure,” his arms loosen on me anyway, it gives me the illusion of a possible escape.
“I’m sure,” I lean back into him, “It’s just so freaking annoying, I just wish I could get over it.” Using the space he’s given me I turn around and face him, then I move closer and ignore the hardness digging into my stomach. Throwing my arms around him I press my face into his neck, “I don’t want to keep panicking, I don’t want to freeze up at weird moments or freak the fuck out because I’m not expecting you to touch me. I hate it, I really hate it.”
Damn Brad and Oren to the lowest circles of hell for what they did to me.
“Stiles,” Peter’s hands begin to rub my back soothingly, “I know you get frustrated but I think you’ve already come so far. You hated me touching you to start with, now you welcome me. The first time we showered together you panicked, now look at you.”
I feel almost petulant when I shrug my shoulders at him, “Yeah, I guess, but I wanted to have some Peter cuddles and kisses today,” I whine it into his shoulder, “That way I could get my hands on your hot bod oh husband of mine.”
It makes him chuckle, “I think we can manage that today. We’ll finish washing, get dressed, go for our walk and picnic, and when we get home, if,” He emphasises the ‘If’, “You are still interested in getting your hands on my hot bod, then we will do that, if not we’re watching something on TV or you can show me more of that MMO game.”
“’Kay,” I agree, scratching at my skin I ask him, “Can I have a couple of washes this morning?” When I start thinking about Oren, or especially Brad, I usually need a shower, those memories make me feel grimy.
“Of course we can, as many as you need,” And he doesn’t even push me away, he just holds me and waits for me to be ready, he doesn’t care how long we have to stand here, just as long as I’m with him he’s happy.
I’ve been seeing Ms Greene, the school councillor, for some basic therapy, she has some people she can recommend to me to try out to become my therapist, she’s been careful to point out that it might not work out with the first few therapists, and that is perfectly normal, the person I’m going to see has to fit with me, if they don’t, I can’t work on my issues properly.
She’s also reinforced that as the victim, I was never at fault with Brad and Oren, it was never me, it was always them. Yes Peter’s raped me too, but he was much more careful of me, he thought that not physically hurting me was fine, and then when he realised the other damage he was doing to me, he stopped. He’s never done that to me since.
The cynical side of me has also pointed out that around that time we also Mated so that could have something to do with it, but in a way that reassures me more. If he changed so radically and stopped hurting me, then he’ll never hurt me again, I’m safe.
It also offers me the illusion of power and control in this relationship, I know I don’t actually have any, the only things I have are empty trapping of them, but Peter lets me have some power and control. Brad and Oren took all of my control and power, they held them above me and punished me whenever they felt like it, I was a prisoner at their mercy and they’d never even heard of the word. I might be Peter’s prisoner, but he tries so damn hard to make it a nice prison, to give me some control over myself and what happens to me.
I don’t feel as powerless around him. He wants me to be strong, he encourages me to better myself, however I want to, I’m not so ignorant to blind myself to some of what he’s doing, but I’m so tired and I don’t really want to fight anymore. Besides it’s nice to have someone take care of me, to focus only on me, to love me as much as Peter is capable of it.
Gently untangling myself from him I stand there and let him wash me, he gets all the bits I’d miss, my back is the cleanest it’s ever been. He even does the bits between my toes and fingers, the backs of my knees. He never lingers on my private areas, he never makes me uncomfortable. And frankly his fingers rubbing my scalp is heavenly.
We rinse and repeat a few times, until I feel clean again. Then he goes to hurry through his shower and I do something I’ve not really done since the first time we showered. I wash his back. He goes statue still under my hands as I take my time and lather up that very nicely toned area. I steer clear of his ass, so not ready for that yet, and he’s already wet his hair so I nab the shampoo and start on his flowing locks, well he’s cut it but the general idea stands.
I’ve only ever washed my own hair, I’ve never washed anyone else’s before, it’s not that hard either. I may linger longer than I should, but damn the way he moves under my hands and the little hum he gives makes me smile. I’m guessing he likes it.
Rinsing my hands I let him wash the rest of him, his hands move as efficiently on his body as they do on mine. Normally I don’t watch but the bubbles trail over him and I don’t look away. He rinses under the water and then flips it off.
I get towel dried by him and go to brush my teeth as he dries off. Fussing with my hair I smirk as he blow dries his, and uses moose on it, he’s so vain. Though I don’t fight as he puts gel on his finger tips and then teases my hair the way I like it. Glancing in the mirror I check out the result, he’s so damn good at this.
In the bedroom I just make the bed and then lounge on top of it. I would pick out clothes for me but it is Valentines and Peter loves dressing me up. He’s sensible and goes for thermals and some layers, we’ll be out for hours today and the snow is still really thick on the ground.
When we’re ready we put on our boots and our stuff is already by the side door leading to the back. We keep the sled outside there. We easily load the sled and each take one of the straps so we can pull it towards the tree line.
Crossing over the road we try and steer clear of the many tracks we’ve left before. It does serve as an excellent map up further into the forest. With no more leaves on the tree we have to walk for longer before Peter can shed his clothes, and pack them tidily on the sled. A few horrible bone cracks later and he’s transformed into his Alpha shape.
He’s still a monstrous mix of human and wolfman, he’s still the stuff of nightmares, and he’s still my husband who pretends he’s not a puppy but tends to bound off to sniff things. “You’re still adorable Peter,” I tell him and start to drag the sled over the snow. Huffing noises come from him and then he’s leaping ahead of me to jump into the trees and generally be a total kid. It’s one of the few times he does that so I let him be.
As I’m the one with easy to use opposable thumbs I set up the lean to tent, and I look around to realise I’ve lost him completely. Rolling my eyes I wait for my dream Derek to pop into view, he points, “He’s over there chasing a rabbit. He’s not trying to kill it, he keeps tapping its side to make it move.”
Yeah Peter does like to play with his prey. Concentrating I tip my head back and give a small howl, that sense of red power rushes through me and I know I’ve added a touch of Alpha to the howl.
“He heard you,” Derek says and then moves to the tree line of the clearing, “He’s stopped playing and left the rabbit be, he’s racing back to you.” And that means he’s coming in fast.
Sure enough one second he’s not there and then he is. Well technically he’s executed a flying leap and he comes in to land near me in a flurry of kicked up snow. I laugh at him and clap, he’s such a show off. Then we curl up together and I read to him.
On the edge of the clearing my dream Pack make themselves comfortable and I read to them too. Peter’s Alpha form radiates heat, the small lean to helps retain some of that heat and I stay reasonably warm for a few hours. We lose ourselves in the wizarding world and his big claws gently stroke my cheek now and again.
Before I can get too cold we go home. Peter goes off and plays in the snow as I drag the sled home. We only stop so he can put clothes on and then he helps me pull the sled along.
At home we change and he gathers up our laptops to relocate them to the main room. And there I find he’s only gone and bought me some things for one of the games I play. “Peter, you didn’t have to do that.”
“You like playing this one, it makes you happy when you beat the quests, besides I like the way this particular thing looked, it suits you,” he shrugs it off and onscreen his character runs around and points out a quest giver. “Now, I’m sure you said there was a special quest for Valentines,” as hints go it’s pretty blatant.
We scrape through the quest and we get the item drops. Peter smugly grins at me, “See, didn’t I tell you that tactic would work?”
“Yes dear,” I agree with him in a henpecked way and then bask in the glory of getting this achievement.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to play alone for a while darling, I have dinner to make, I’m going to do your favourite,” he logs out and his character vanishes.
“Okay,” He means he’s making me Italian tonight, I love his Italian, seriously it’s like the food of the gods. But it’s nice to game with someone next to me, he’s not into the shooter games, he likes the questing ones and where you have to think to complete things.
His fingers caress my face as he goes to the kitchen, it also gives me a very nice view of his ass, and the bastard sways it knowing I’m watching him. Suddenly I remember he said that we could do the kissing thing later if I was still interested. I’m fairly sure I’m going to interested later. Immersing myself back into the game world I let time pass me by and make sure to stop and make a verbal fuss of Peter now and again, it makes him happy when I do that, he’s so easy to keep happy and I hum along to the background music.
As usual his Italian surpasses all other mortal food and it’s hard not to just stuff the food down but to take my time and savour it. “God, Peter, this is amazing, seriously dude, best food ever, I’m sure it gets better each time you make it.”
“Thank you darling I’m glad you like it,” He’s smiling and happy and this is the best day ever, I can’t believe I’ve gotten this lucky and I tell him. “Stiles,” he puts his fork down and holds a hand out to me, I immediately put my fork down too and take his hand. It’s an automatic response for me now. “Stiles,” he clears his throat, “You have no idea how happy and lucky you make me feel, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m glad you agreed to come with me in Sacramento, to give me this chance to prove to you how good we are together.”
Only it wasn’t exactly like that, I didn’t just agree to go with him, he did his normal villainous threats to make me go with him, though I guess it’s turned out alright in the end. Squeezing his hand I tell him, “I’m glad too.” And then I get to finish my dinner.
We clean up together, after this length of time living together we sort of slot in nicely around each other. It’s so easy and routine and as Peter’s told me lots of times, routine is good for me, as is indulging whatever I’m obsessing about this week because that’s how my ADHD rolls.
“Couch?” Peter holds his hand out to me when we’ve finished and I take his hand. He leads me to the couch and sits down, my hand has started to sweat in his and I’m starting to get nervous. It’s one thing to say we’re going to do the kissing thing, it’s another to actually do the kissing thing. I’m determined to do the kissing thing, I refuse to let Brad or Oren hold me back from enjoying Peter kisses so I sit down next to him and then flounder because I have no idea how to proceed. “Stiles?”
“Yeah?” I croak it out and I can sense I’m starting to freak the fuck out.
“Why don’t you go and get us a couple of sodas, and then we can lay down and watch a new program I found for you?” He suggests and I jump at the chance to get out of kissing him while mentally kicking myself for being a coward.
Almost racing to the kitchen I then drag my feet on the way back to him, he doesn’t say anything just takes his soda from me and pats the seat next to him. “Here we are Stiles, it’s one of those programs that shows you how things are made, I believe they’re doing toothpaste today,” and he switches the TV on.
Oh my god, it’s awesome, I’m soon sucked into the program and learn lots about toothpaste like how they get it into the tubes, and it’s stupidly easy in the end. Peter tugs on my arm at one point during the program and we sort of end up lying on the couch, Peter’s on his back and I’m to one side of him and kind of flopped over him too, a bit like how we wake up at the weekends. When the adverts come on he mentions a few things we just saw and before I know it we’re discussing toothpaste and he’s so smart he’s making me work to keep up with him.
When the adverts end I’m soon sucked back into the program. “Stiles?” He murmurs my name.
“Hmm?” I watch a coat hanger being made on screen.
“I’d like a kiss now please,” Peter says and it takes me a few seconds to realise what he’s asked. “Just the one, and wherever you want to plant it on my face or lips is fine,” he’s watching the TV not me.
Tentatively I press a kiss to his cheek and then ask anxiously, “Was that okay?”
“That was perfect, thank you Stiles,” His mouth flashes me a smile and we go back to watching TV. That really wasn’t so hard and I mentally congratulate myself on kissing him. It’s not the only time he asks me to kiss him that evening, and each time it’s a bit easier and there’s no pressure from Peter at all, he’s ridiculously happy to get kisses from me and keeps praising me the whole time, to the point that when we go to bed I can’t believe I let myself get wound up and I chickened out of kissing him properly.
Curling up in bed with him I wait for his arm to steal around me and hold me in place against him. “Peter?”
“Hmm,” He rumbles against the back of my neck.
“Today was awesome, thank you,” I stare at the wall and watch the new addition of colours and lights flicker there, he set up one of his new photo frames to play constantly and bath our bedroom in light.
“You’re welcome Stiles, thank you for an awesome day too,” He sounds sleepy and content.
“Um…” I’m not sure how to phrase this, “You’re not mad we didn’t do more kissing are you? ‘Coz I was totally up for the kissing, that was totally part of my game plan for the day, lots and lots of Peter kisses, but I just…” I don’t know how to describe it, I wasn’t scared, I wanted to kiss him, but at the same time, I didn’t want to kiss him.
“Do you remember Ms Greene talking about cycles?” Peter moves so he’s whispering straight into my ear, “You’ll have good days, you’ll have bad days, it’s just a cycle, the more you heal the longer the good days get and the less you’ll have bad days. There’s nothing wrong with bad days, or not wanting to do something, it shows you you’re not in the right frame of mood for something…”
I butt in, “Yeah, but I really wanted Peter kisses today and I’m tired of not being ready for stuff, I’m tired of Brad or Oren ruining things for me, for us. Damn it Peter we should be further along than this. We’ve already had sex, and when we were on our road trip I was more into the kissing than this,” god I’m so frustrated with myself.
His arm tightens around me, “Stiles, you’ve been through a lot,” Not this speech again. “You need time to heal, and we both know we didn’t have sex, I raped you, there’s a huge difference. And anyway you’ve had lots of kisses today and you enjoyed them too. One step at a time Stiles, before you know it we’ll be having non penetrative sex, there will be oodles of kisses and you won’t have to worry about this anymore.”
“If you say so,” I grumble and lay there a bit more. “Still it was the best Valentines ever, right?”
“Right,” he agrees and settles back down behind me, “Best ever.”
Pulling the covers up a bit more I copy him and close my eyes so I can sleep, tomorrow is another day and I have school. I’m looking forward to seeing my friends again, to learning, and having epic snowball fights at lunch time. Life with Peter here in Wolf Creek is so much nicer than I ever thought it could be.
As I slip into dreams I have the oddest short dream, Derek is leaning against our bathroom door watching me sleep and he looks sad, then dad is next to him and Derek says, “He’s losing, slipping further under every day.”
“I know,” Dad pats him on the shoulder, “I know, he never really stood much of a chance. He’s doing everything he can to survive, I’m just glad he’s mostly happy here. And when he needs us, we’ll always be here for him.”
Weird, but good. Best Valentines ever and it’s nice to hear Dad say he’s here, I know he’s not really here, but it’s still good, and then I sleep.