Chapter Text
Teagan closed the door to Ingram’s room behind him.
She brought her gaze up from her book as she sat on her bed, a blanket over her lap. Her power armor sat at the head of the bed. “How can I help you?”
“So formal?” He leaned his back against the door. “Is it so strange that I’d come to check on my mate after she was shot?”
Ingram set down her book and adjusted the blanket over her lap. “You know the wound was superficial and it has already been treated. It makes me ask again, how can I help you?”
“Are you afraid of me?”
“We’ve been mates a long time, you already know the answer to that.”
He pulled a chair over and sat beside the bed. “I suppose I do. It’s the reason we don’t sleep in the same room. The only mates I know who do that. You don’t need to be afraid of me, you know.”
“Did you kill him? Because I heard the guard who shot me was found with his throat slit. So, Teagan, did you kill him?”
Teagan leaned forward. “Of course I did. He shot my mate. He deserved it.”
“And that’s why I’m afraid of you. Because you can slaughter someone and not feel it. You can’t feel anything.”
“I felt fear when you were shot. It was like the day I watched the cliff fall down and take you with it. I know I can feel because when I saw you knocked backward, I was terrified. I know you’ve never wanted me, that you can’t trust me, but never doubt what I feel for you. You’re the only person who can make me feel anything. I miss you, Ingram.”
“You can’t miss me; you never really had me.”
“I did in my head. When I lie down in my room and turn off the lights and close my eyes, I do. You sigh against my lips and whisper my name and you’re mine. And then I wake up in the morning, and you’re not there, and I miss you.” He moved off the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. “Don’t make me leave, Ingram, not tonight. Not after I thought I might have lost you again.”
Her face didn’t change, those hard lines he knew, he loved. He sighed and stood. He’d never push her, and she’d made her limits clear enough times. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and walked toward the door.
“Wait.”
He stopped at her voice. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have pushed my way in here.” He didn’t look back, couldn’t. The way she stared at him had always killed him. It hadn’t ever been with love or adoration. Always suspicion.
Her soft sigh filled the space. “Turn off the light and come to bed, Teagan.”
He turned off the light before crossing the small room. When was the last time he’d touched her? Not since before her accident.
The bed creaked as she moved. “You can get in the bed.”
Teagan pulled off his shirt before sliding into the bed. Ingram had moved over to the wall.
He didn’t assume anything, didn’t reach out and touch her, left space between them. “How long has it been?”
“Since you’ve been in my bed? Years.” Her hand rested on his chest, fingers stroking over his skin. She used the serum now, so she didn’t need him, but the soft shudder said touch still affected her. She leaned in and brushed her lips against his.
Teagan angled toward her, slipping his hand behind her neck to kiss her back. His other hand went to her hip, but she went rigid.
She wanted to pull away. He could read it in her body, in the fear and anxiety in her head.
He kept his hand on her hip and broke the kiss to whisper against her lips. “Don’t hide from me, Ingram. Please, don’t run from me.”
“It’s different now. I’m. . . I’m different.” Her words broke him, full of doubt and shame.
“I don’t care about your legs. I never did. You’re the same woman to me, the same woman you’ve always been. Let me show you, just for tonight. Please. Let me pretend we’re what mates should be, just for tonight.”
Her breath spilled over his lips when she sighed, but she pulled him back into a kiss.
Years. Years since he’d had her, since she’d let him touch her. He pretended they were right, that he hadn’t broken them so many years ago. He laid her back, bracing himself above her. He stripped her, offering kisses over her shoulders, her throat, her breasts. She pulled her own panties off, part of her attempt to keep him away from her legs.
It hurt him, that she’d keep anything from him, but he let her have it. He let her have the darkness and the fantasy and the hiding. She was giving him something and that was more than before.
She parted her thighs, and he slid into her. Her breath warmed his shoulder and she whispered his name into the darkness, her hands clutching him, giving herself to him.
He took her slow, gentle, trying to tell her all the things he didn’t know how to. He loved her. He wanted her. He missed her. He was sorry he couldn’t be more.
He wasn’t right, he knew that. He’d never been right, but he wanted to be for her. He wanted to be what she needed, for her to cling to him like this.
When they finished, he rolled over. She’d want him to leave, she always had in the past when they’d given into this. He moved to the side of the bed, but Ingram set her hand on his arm. “Stay, please.”
“Are you sure?”
“Just for tonight.”
He laid back down, sliding forward until her back pressed against his chest. He slid his arm around her, hand on her stomach. “Thank you. I needed this, even if it is just for tonight.”
She set her hand over his. “Perhaps tomorrow, as well.”