Archive of Our Own ^beta

Her laughter stops short when she hears a thump and her husband yell out “OH, FUCK!”

You’d think that for a reckless man, her husband would swear more often, but he really rarely does. So when she turns around and finds him cupping his nose with his hands she drops the dish she’d been in the process of rinsing.

“Oh my gosh, Jake! Are you okay?” Amy says as she rushes to her husband’s side.

“Yup! Totes cool!” he says, trying not to wince but not taking his hands away from his nose.

Amy tries crouches down in front of him, clutching the dining table so as not to fall over thanks to her newly changed center of gravity. “Here, let me see,” she urges.

Jake groans and flashes it quickly at her. Alarms start going off in her head as she sees blood trickling down his face.

“You’re bleeding!” Amy says, to which he whines and covers his nose again. “Why are you bleeding?!”

“I dropped a fork and hit myself coming up. It hurts a lot,” Jake hisses.

Amy’s heart is racing but she takes a deep breath remembering her first aid training from the Emergency Management Conference she goes to every year (she needs to keep the information fresh, much to the annoyance of the speakers). “Okay, I’m gonna need you to show me again to assess whether or not it’s fractured.”

Jake opens his eyes for a quick second to stare incredulously at Amy’s change of tone. “What are you a doctor now?”

“Would you like to go to the hospital right now?”

“No, hospitals are expensive and the health industry is really greedy; this country has issues!”

“Then stop squirming and let me take a look.” Amy fixes him a look and he nods.

He takes a deep breath and furrows his eyebrows, as if that in itself hurt, and uncovers his wound.

Amy internalizes a squeak as Jake asks: “Is it bad? Oh God, it’s bad isn’t it?”

The bridge of his nose is reddening by the second as well as showing a slight dent on it. There’s blood trickling down to his lips. “Can you move your nose at all?” she questions.

He scrunches up his nose. “Yup, but it hurts. I can taste blood. Ames!”

“Stop talking,” Amy says as she gets up to get her first aid kit from under the sink. When she gets back, he’d taken the closest thing he could find to put a stopper to the bleeding. However, it turned out to be one of the cloth placemats she’d gotten from Bed Bath & Beyond a week earlier.

“I’m sorry for ruining your placemat,” he moans.

“It’s fine, they were going to get ruined eventually. Now, put it down so I can set it.”

“Are you sure we don’t have to go to the hospital? I’ve been drinking some of that Nutriboom stuff; maybe I’ll grow a new bionic nose!”

“It’s because of that Nutriboom stuff that we can’t go to the hospital right now.”

“You’re right. You’re the smartest woman I know and I love you.”

He pulls away the placemat; at least the blood’s stopped. “Well, the good news is that you’ve stopped the bleeding, so it might be minor. I’m going to touch your nose know to see if I really have to set it. Don’t talk.”

Jake whimpers in assent and Amy take sher hands to his face. “Does this hurt?” she asks as she exerts slight pressure around his nose. He only jolts once, and she decides that’s where the break is. “Okay, I’m gonna need you to blow into your placemat once to get any of the blood that might be clotted there.”

After Jake does as she asks, he clutches the piece of cloth in his hands. “Now,” Amy says slowly, “I’m going to ask you to think happy thoughts. Don’t say them out loud.” She keeps her hands on him.

As soon as Jake closes his eyes, he takes a deep breath, and Amy pushes down in a straight line. He hisses in surprise and opens his eyes. She might even see a glint of tears in his eyes.

“There. Can you breathe well?”

He inhales and exhales slowly through his nose, nodding in response.

“Okay. You’re going to put an ice bag on your nose and then take these two Advils,” she says and hands over said things. “You may wash up and then lie down if you so wish.”

“Do you think the Harry Potter movies are playing on TV?”

“Probably, there’s always some reason to be playing Harry Potter movies on Freeform.”

“Noice,” he exclaims before wincing again. “Still hurts! But I love you and you’re the greatest!”

He gets up and lends a hand to Amy so she doesn’t have to exert herself so much. Jake gives her a peck on the lips before kissing her growing belly.

“We’re going to be such great parents,” Jake says, tenderly placing a strand of Amy’s hair behind her ear.

“Honey, I know,” she says lightly, “Just go lie down in bed and I’ll be right with you. I’m just going to finish up the dishes.”

Amy’s turning towards the dishes but he pulls on her hands, walking backwards to their room, his free hand pressing the ice pack to his face. “Babe, we can do that later. Right now, I think we can lie down together.”

“If we get fruit flies it’s going to be your fault,” she tries admonishing but she’s grinning softly.

They reach their room and he lays down carefully, patting the space next to him. “I can live with that. C’mon, you’re supposed to be resting your feet.”

She concedes him that point and takes off her chanclas to slide into the bed. Jake finds the remote and turns on the TV, surfing through the guide to see if they’re playing Harry Potter.

“Yes!” Jake exclaims with a fist pump. “Prisoner of Azkaban!” he says grinning.

He scoots closer to her so her head’s resting against his chest. “You should sing that frog song.”

Amy laughs and kisses the nearest shred of skin she has of his, which ends up being his collarbone. “ Sana, sana, colita de rana. Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana. ” She hums it into his chest, lets it burrow itself deep in the hopes it reaches his heart and stays in there forever.