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I always leave an emergency exit in my programs.
The sentence had been repeating itself for a while now. It made Connor think... things that weren’t part of his program. An emergency exit. Could it be...? Deviancy was always supposed to happen, was that what Kamski meant?
Is deviancy part of the program? Is it dormant in the back of their minds? Is it just waiting for them to feel the right amount of pain so it can be triggered?
He doesn’t know. There are too many questions and not enough answers.
The worst part is this small seed of doubt that has been planted in Connor's mind that makes him keep wondering if free will is really possible. It can’t be. If deviancy is all part of the program, there’s still no free will.
Or is there?
He doesn’t know. And not knowing... is something Connor doesn’t appreciate.
That’s one of the reasons that brought him to Jericho. It looks just like a decrepit ship on the outside, but inside it's filled with androids of every model he can think of.
“You’re lost,” the android with pieces of her head missing had said when Connor arrived. “You’re looking for something. You’re looking... for yourself.”
She left him after that, and he... is still lost, staring at the staircase in front of him. Is he looking for himself? Is that the answer to everything? It seems much too simple for the error messages he’s been receiving from his system.
That couldn’t be it. There has to be something else, something rational to explain everything he’s been... considering.
Find deviant leader , flashes on his mind. That’s the mission. That’s why he’s here. He’s supposed to take the leader alive while Amanda sends her troops to destroy this place. The thought of all of these androids destroyed makes him feel... something. He sees the child models around, and looking at them... hurts?
Maybe soon it’ll be time to get a reset.
I don’t want to be reset , his emotional part says. We can be free now.
There are too many conflicting options. Connor doesn’t want to think about any of that. But he can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like something has literally awoken inside of him.
He must’ve been standing there, almost like he’s being charged, because soon someone else accidentally bumps into him.
Don’t catch—
“I’m sorry,” the android says after looking up. A woman. Her short blonde hair looks almost white in the dim lights. “Oh. Have we met before?”
—anyone’s attention.
He doesn’t need to scan her. He remembers her from a chase that feels ages ago. The android with the little girl. The one that tried to kill a human (who is now missing and presumed dead according to the DPD records) and escape with a child. He’s read her file, but he doesn’t need to access it.
It’s not normal for androids to bump into each other. Their programs are much too carefully made to allow such a thing to happen. But she’s a deviant, that is obvious. And she’s distracted. A look at her sides and he can tell why—the little girl he remembers seeing by her side is nowhere to be seen.
The android doesn’t seem to recognize him, though.
“No, I do not believe we’ve met before,” he tells her, surprised at his own lie. Lying was part of his program since the very beginning, but it’s not something he appreciates a lot. It feels... wrong. “Are you alright?”
Why is he still talking? This doesn’t make any sense. This contradicts directly with his decision to lay low. This is catching someone’s attention.
But she looks distressed. That’s a human emotion , his mind tells his program. She needs help. I can help.
“Yes,” she tells him, though her eyes are obviously still scanning every corner to look for something. The little girl, most likely. “Excuse me, I have to go now.”
His program screams at him to introduce himself, for as insane as it sounds. My name is Connor and I’m the android sent by CyberLife is definitely the wrong thing to say here. At least the second part of his sentence is.
He watches as she runs around until she stops by one of the crates near a fire. And there she is, the little girl he remembers. Both the little girl and the android smile at each other warmly— it is a human emotion, love , his insane part provides helpfully. Love... feelings of extreme devotion towards someone. He doesn’t have anything to compare it to, but he stores the image of the two of them hugging as a reference for later.
Find deviant leader.
His direct order keeps flashing in his mind, but he... pushes it aside for a bit to look at the android and the child more. Love. How... fascinating. And strange. Something about the two of them... looking at them makes him feel... less blind. It’s like his system was updated and suddenly there is so much new info to explore. Love. What is this like? How can something like it work? How does it... feel? Is it better to love or be loved?
The questions keep popping up, refusing to be silenced.
Love.
Fascinating indeed.
I am deviant.
Later, when they’re all running and trying to escape, he thinks about the android and the little girl again.
He’s free now. At least, that’s what Markus told him. Does he feel free? Not exactly, because Kamski’s words are still alive inside his head. His doubts are still there.
But he doesn’t serve Amanda or CyberLife or anyone anymore. He serves himself, he does what he wants to do. No more orders.
Another shot, another group of pleading androids being killed. At the same time he’s free to act, he never felt quite this angry before. Angry at humans. Can’t they see these people won’t hurt anyone? Can’t they see that the androids have children with them?
Are they alright?
Where are they?
Did they manage to escape? Or were they just more androids that are now dead?
He realizes with a start that he wants to see them again, the woman and her child. He wants to learn about love with them. And if they were killed here...
“What are you doing?” North, the woman with the red hair, grabs his arm before he understands what he’s even doing. “You can’t go back there, it’s full of soldiers!”
He shakes his head. “I need to find someone,” he says before bolting, trying to convince himself that this is indeed the right choice. What would Lieutenant Anderson think? Would he agree this was a good choice?
Would he be able to even see the Lieutenant again?
If he dies here, that’s it. No new body. No getting fixed. He’s deviant now, and it means... dying is a very real possibility.
But he needs to find the android and the girl. It’s more important.
And he does find them, at the end of a gun.
Being deviant is fascinating. He doesn’t stop to think before he acts, doesn’t really consider every possibility before he’s fighting with the soldier threatening the two girls. And when he kills that human to save an android, he doesn’t feel anything. His program isn’t conflicted. It was the right choice.
He grabs both of them by their arms, putting them back on their feet.
“Are you—” he starts asking the android, but she waves him off.
“I’m okay,” she says, quickly grabbing the little girl by the hand so they can start running again. He follows them this time, feeling more... at ease... by seeing they were still alive.
Just when he thinks they found an exit, more soldiers appear and kill every single android around them. It’s almost unbelievable that they weren’t shot. He still throws himself to the ground, though, and makes sure the two girls do the same.
“Stay very still,” he instructs. “They’ll go away.”
It works. The soldiers all go away after a minute or two, and he once again helps the android get to her feet.
“Come on, Alice, come on,” she says to the little girl. Alice. “We have to hurry!”
Alice doesn’t look like she can keep running any longer, and after Markus' message of how Jericho is going to explode soon, Connor knows they don’t have any time to spare. So he picks Alice up and runs with her, making sure the android is okay to run as well.
They’re at a safe distance when the ship explodes, immersed in flames and despair.
“Everything okay?” The android asks Alice. When the girl nods, she turns to look at him and smiles. “Thank you so much, I... you saved her. Thank you. Losing her would... I couldn’t... ”
“I understand,” he says, looking down to try and smile at Alice as well. Smiling feels... odd. He doesn’t think he did a lot of that before. “Do you have anywhere to go?”
“We were supposed to go to Canada, but I... I don’t know anymore.”
“You can come with me,” he says. “I won’t hurt you. I... know somewhere that could be safe.”
This is possibly a bad idea. A very bad idea.
But the android’s smile looks like it could brighten the whole street, and that makes him feel good with himself.
“That’d be wonderful,” she says. “Wouldn’t it, Alice? It's a place to stay until we can find Luther and go to Canada!”
Alice nods, her eyes never leaving Connor.
He wants to ask who they’re looking for—he’s a detective, after all—but something stops him. Instead, he does what he wanted to do a while before. “My name is Connor.”
“I’m Kara,” she tells him, looking proud of her name. “And that’s Alice. She’s my... my daughter.”
He nods. “Come on then, Kara and Alice. We’ll have to go walking, and this could take a while.” Alice looks incredibly tired, so he silently offers to pick her up again. He might be smaller than some androids, but he’s not weak.
“Thank you, Mr. Connor, ” Alice whispers in the crook of his neck. She seems to close her eyes immediately after that.
“She’s so tired,” Kara laments. “The last few days haven’t been easy on her. I wish I could’ve done more.”
The part of him that still remembers her file wants to tell her that she did enough, that freeing the little girl from an abusive human is more than enough. But he can’t bring that up now. She doesn’t need to recognize him as someone that chased her and Alice before. He wants to forget his program ever told him to do that.
“She’ll be fine,” he tells Kara instead. “You did good.”
“This place you know... ” she starts. “What is it like?”
“Safe.”
“It’s just that... we had some bad experiences before. People just pretending they wanted to help.”
He frowns—and he knows his LED is probably glowing deep yellow. “What happened?”
“N-nothing to worry about now,” she assures. “But still... I have to think about her first. Is it safe for her?”
He thinks some more. If she likes big dogs, then it’s probably a good place for Alice. He hopes she likes dogs.
“It is,” he finally says. “I’ll be around, too.”
Kara smiles. “Thank you. Are you going to stay here after... everything?”
His LED glows again.
“I don’t know yet,” Connor says, remembering the other android’s words about looking for himself. He does feel lost. More than ever. “I don’t know.”
She seems to be able to understand exactly what is going on, because Kara asks, “You just broke free from your program?” He nods, and she smiles kindly before saying, “I know it’s hard. It’ll be hard for a while. But if you need help, I’ll be around too.”
He’s not sure why he likes the sound of that as much as he does.
Maybe this idea wasn’t so good.
“Whoa there!” Hank’s eyes widen. “You can’t disappear for a day and suddenly show up on my door with a girl!” Then he looks at Alice and sighs. “Two girls. Also, what the fuck are you wearing?”
Connor shifts Alice to his other arm. He decides to ignore the last question, and answers just the first statement. “Why not? They needed help, and we could provide it.”
“It’s a kid, fuck,” Hank says, rubbing his face with his hands. “How the hell are we supposed to keep a kid here? In case you don’t remember, my house isn’t exactly kid-friendly.”
“She’s very quiet and doesn’t require much,” he says, and Alice seems to finally be waking up again. “I’ll take care of them, Lieutenant. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Nothing to worry about my ass,” he mumbles, but he does make way for Connor and Kara to get in.
“Thank you,” Kara whispers, bowing her head a bit. “We’ll be gone soon.”
“Yeah, yeah, lady. How did you even meet the annoying piece of plastic?”
Kara frowns and looks from Connor to Hank several times before raising her hand and showing him she’s an android as well.
“Oh, great,” he mutters, shaking his head. Connor can see a bit of a smile on the corner of his lips, though. “I just hope you have less personal questions than him.”
Kara looks confused, but he chooses to ignore the Lieutenant and instead puts Alice on the couch. Before getting up, something makes him run his hand through her hair carefully, trying to show her a peaceful gesture.
Three seconds later, Sumo makes himself known and starts trying to play with Alice. She’s awake in less than a second, more than ready to indulge the dog.
Hank rolls his eyes at the dog, and mutters something about going to his room.
“Are you sure we’re welcome here?” Kara whispers, watching Alice with a fond smile despite her worried expression. “That man didn’t seem happy to have us here. We can find somewhere else.”
“It’s alright,” he assures her. “He’ll take care of you until everything settles down. It’s safe here.”
“I do feel like I’ve already seen you before,” she suddenly says. “But I won’t scan you. Alice and I... I promised her not to scan people when I can. Give them privacy.”
It’s a good idea. It's very kind. And it makes him like both Kara and Alice a bit more.
After having to report to CyberLife every two hours, having his privacy respected is... refreshing. Like a breath of fresh air, even though he has no lungs.
He doesn’t know what to tell Kara, though. So he stays silent, and she moves on.
“Are you having fun?” She asks Alice, petting Sumo a bit as well. After Alice nods, the smile on Kara's face grows. “Good. We’ll go look for Luther as soon as we can, alright? I promise.”
Luther.
There it is the name again. And, again, he wonders who this is. Certainly part of their little family, judging by their expressions alone.
He leaves them alone, not wanting to interrupt their moment, and moves to knock on Hank’s bedroom door.
The Lieutenant opens it and gestures for him to come inside before shutting the door again. Almost... angrily.
“I can’t believe the things you do,” he says, shaking his head.
Connor frowns. “What sort of things?”
“That!” Hank gestures to the living room. “Do you have any idea... what they’ll do to these two if they find them here? I’m a fucking cop, hiding them here is the most stupid idea you could’ve had!”
“You once said we were on the wrong side,” he says. “I assumed you meant we should side with androids.”
“Yes, that’s what I meant, but damn you. It’s not safe for them here. What if someone shows up? They’ll take them in a second, because every android is being taken now. How did you even get here without getting caught? These fuckers are everywhere, acting like Nazis.”
“We were very careful,” he tells Hank. “They need help. I wouldn’t have brought them here if they didn’t.”
“We can’t save the world on our own, son,” Hank says, and now he just looks tired. “I understand why you did it. I’ll try to help. But the first sign of trouble... I want you all to run, disappear. Don’t think about me. I’m afraid... I... they’ll destroy you. Shoot on sight is our order.”
“I understand.”
“And tell your girl to stop telling everyone she’s an android,” he says. “That’s stupid, especially considering how things are right now.”
“I understand,” Connor repeats. “She’s not my girl, though. She’s deviant, which means she’s her own person.”
“And you’re one of them now,” Hank says, nodding. “Fucking knew it. I was just waiting for you to realize it.”
“Is that... bad?”
Hank puts his hand on Connor’s shoulder. “No. It’s not... it’s not bad. It means you’re... well, you know.”
“Not just a machine?”
“Yeah.”
“I like the feeling,” he confides, making Hank chuckle. “I’ll check on Kara and Alice now.”
Hank grabs his shoulder again before he can move. “Be careful, alright?”
“They offer no threat to me,” he states, shaking his head. “What should I be careful with?”
For a second, Hank looks like he isn’t going to answer him. Then he sighs and says, “The Kara girl, she has a kid. I know she’s pretty, but be careful around her.”
“I still don’t understand.” And he really doesn’t. His system, although deviant now, can’t come up with explanations on what the Lieutenant means. He understands worry. He understands the need to be careful. But the two girls are no threat.
“You’re too naive for your own good,” Hanks says with a sigh. “Just go.”
After his shoulder is released, he walks away from the room until he’s seated on the couch beside Kara and Alice.
“Is everything—”
“Yes,” he interrupts Kara. “You can stay for now.”
She nods, and turns to smile at the girl. Alice is avoiding his eyes, and he wonders why. There’s something interesting about this girl, he just can’t say what yet.
“I’m hungry, Kara,” Alice complains quietly.
“I... I think we still have some crackers,” Kara says, getting up to go mess with their bag. “Just give me a minute.”
In the seconds it takes for Kara to move, and then the full minute she needs to look for their discarded bag, Alice finally allows him to properly look her in the eye.
And he understands.
She’s one of them. A child android, one of the most recent models.
Without considering the possibilities, he offers her his hand. She takes it, and soon their skin recedes. There’s only metal against metal, and this little girl is offering him her memories.
There are new pieces to the puzzle he started since reading Kara’s file. He knew they lived in an abusive house, but never understood how much. And Alice’s emotions are so strong. Fear... hurt... love. He sees it all. And in return, he shows her a glimpse of his own emotions. His doubts. His own fears that freedom might not exactly be what they imagine if deviancy was always part of the program.
Finally, Alice shows him something else. Her fear that Kara will realize she’s an android, her fear that the knowledge will drive Kara—her mother—away.
He understands.
“It’s not my secret to tell,” he tells Alice through their connection, and he’s overwhelmed with gratitude coming in waves from her.
They let go of each other’s hands after that, and it takes him a moment to realize that conversation didn’t take more than a few seconds.
He understands it now. To become deviant, empathy was necessary. But that’s not all. There are other emotions involved, and after seeing glimpses of them in Alice’s mind... he sees them in his own system. The emotions are all there, but fear... fear is always the most recurring one.
“There you go.” Kara sits between Alice and him, offering her the human food.
He blinks, and suddenly he can’t stay there anymore. It’s too much. It’s... overwhelming. His system can’t process everything, and the numbers and letters mixed up that keep popping up are driving him over the edge. He can’t stay there.
So he leaves. He uses the window that’s still broken in the kitchen and leaves, hides somewhere in Hank’s backyard where he can think for a moment.
It’s too much.
It... it can’t all be part of a mission. Amanda can’t have programmed him to do everything exactly the way it’s happening. He doesn’t want to follow orders, doesn’t want to be CyberLife’s puppet anymore. But how can he break free from this... if he doesn’t know what his orders really were?
What if becoming deviant was always the point? What if that was exactly what they wanted from him?
Markus spoke of free will, of the end of slavery. But what if he was wrong? What if they weren’t free at all? Or maybe they are free… and Connor is not.
I am a prototype.
It’s all he is. He’s not like them. Like Markus or Alice or Kara. His system is different. He was programmed to be different.
What if he was... what if he is a real threat? The enemy everyone’s looking for? A spy without even realizing it. Being here is only going to endanger Hank and the girls. If he’s a spy, if CyberLife can still see him... then he’s the reason their cause is doomed.
I always leave an emergency exit in my programs.
There is a way. Kamski made sure there was always a way. Maybe that’s why he had a falling out with CyberLife.
Kamski’s reasons matter little to Connor now.
He still has his pistol with him. He could end it now. Make sure everyone is safe. He could do it. Hank once tried to do it, he remembers. Suicide wasn’t part of his program... so he relied on Hank to understand it better.
And now he sees it.
It’s an option.
A viable option.
He could make sure they were safe. If he was a spy, he could end it now.
Besides, it’s not like he would be missed , some part of his program provides.
Funny, after seeing Alice’s emotions, he can understand what he feels now beside his fear. There is sadness and despair. He doesn’t want to die. And if he has to, he doesn’t want to be forgotten. Wanting things... having preferences... this isn’t something he’s used to. It comes with being deviant, apparently.
He grabs the gun, puts it right under his chin. He needs to make sure his memories and his system are as damaged as possible, just in case someone tries to reactivate him.
Mission accomplished.
I don’t want to be alone.
Probability of self-destruction: 93%
His thoughts are a mess, his vision turning to different colors.
I am deviant. I have to do this.
He understands it now. If he’s going to be part of the cause, then this is his purpose. At least he’s the one choosing this. At least there’s free will at the very end.
Before he can pull the trigger and feel one last time that his mission was accomplished, someone grabs his free hand.
And he’s bombarded with more emotions that aren’t his.
He doesn’t mean to share his own thoughts of this moment, but they are so... strong... he can’t help it.
Kara releases his hand, and the gun falls from his other one. And that’s when he looks up to meet her eyes, and they’re full of... empathy. So full that her eyes are actually leaking. Tears? Androids can have tears? That’s new. Something he hadn’t seen before, not even in deviants.
It makes him feel... something.
“Don’t do this,” she whispers, taking the gun and pulling it away. “It’s wrong.”
Probability of self-destruction: 78%
“It’s what needs to be done,” he tells her, trying to keep the emotion off of his voice. He can be indifferent if he wants. He was programmed to be indifferent. Nothing but a machine. “To keep the others safe. To keep our people safe. The cause.”
He must sound like Markus now, he realizes. He could even use the man’s voice if he wanted.
But Kara grabs his hand again, and he feels... fondness.
“If you want to fight for the cause, you can’t die,” she says. “You’re important now. One of us.”
Probability of self-destruction: 56%
Funny how he feels attached to her. It’s not just the fact that she’s still touching him, still sharing her emotions. It’s more than that. She feels so much. He wants to know what this is like. Affection emanates from her. How can she feel affection for him? All the things he shared with her... the doubts, the emotions, the fears... she can’t feel affection for that. He realizes she’s most certainly not a machine, but a living being capable of every single emotion. He, on the other hand, is just machine. Nothing but that. Expendable.
Probability of self-destruction: 67%
Does he have tears, too? He wishes he did, because now he’d be crying.
“You’re afraid of being alone,” Kara whispers, still looking at everything he’s allowing her to see. “You don’t need to. You’re not alone.”
“And what do I have?” he asks, longing for the gun again. “I’m just a machine. I’m not capable of having anything. Not feelings or possessions or... friends.”
Probability of self-destruction: 78%
“You’re wrong,” Kara repeats, forcing a small smile. “You do have friends. The man that lives in this house... I don’t need to scan him to see he loves you. And... and Alice seems to be growing attached to you as well.”
He snorts, such a human gesture that it hurts. “I don’t understand love.”
“I do,” she says. “And I’m telling you: you are loved. Taking your life... it’ll only hurt others. The policeman. What do you think he’d feel if he were to find you dead here?”
It’s an honest question. And he considers it.
Thinking back to every memory he has stored inside his program, he remembers the first time he saw Hank had suicidal tendencies. It... scared him. To consider that someone you see every day could suddenly not be there anymore. Connor doesn't like changes in general, but this sort of change... it spikes true fear in his software.
Kara could see everything going through his mind, he knows she could, because he still didn’t let go of her hand. And she smiles, because he understands what she meant.
Probability of self-destruction: 42%
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I just needed to feel that I... had a choice. I don’t want them to control me anymore.”
“There’s something you can do to help you feel free. A first step.” She tightens her grip in his hand, showing him when she removed her LED. A huge step for her, he can feel that.
He nods, removing his hand from hers to touch the LED on the side of his head. He could remove it if he wanted. He couldn’t feel pain, so it wasn’t like anything held him back.
But to remove it... that would mean cutting his ties with CyberLife for real. With his past. It would mean... change.
“I’ll do it,” he tells Kara, getting up from the messy garden. “Will you... help me?”
“Yes,” she says in less than a second, smiling a beautiful smile. “Of course I will. Come on.”
When they go back inside the house, he can feel Alice’s distress and worried thoughts even from a distance. He smiles at her, or at least tries to.
“Are you alright, Mr. Connor?” She asks in a small voice, not looking at him or Kara. She should be able to look people in the eye. She should. But after years of abuse, after everything she showed him... he’s not ashamed to admit he feels a bit murderous towards the man that called himself her father.
“I’ll be,” he tells Alice honestly. “Just needed... a moment.”
After a quick scan of the kitchen, he finds a knife and gestures for Kara to go with him to the bathroom. With her hand once again touching him, emanating her feelings of comfort and affection again, he sticks the knife at the edge of his LED and pokes it until it falls from his head. He’s... free. At least from the LED.
“Feeling better?” She asks, and he turns to stare at Kara instead of the mirror.
Maybe she doesn’t have the same ability Markus does to spread the deviancy virus. But what she did for him now, what she showed him... it can’t be just a virus. It’s much more than that. She showed more compassion, more human emotion than many humans he knows.
“Much better,” he says, bowing his head a bit. “Thank you.”
She nods, and he feels compelled to say something else, “You know, if Markus succeeds... if everything works, you... you and Alice don’t need to go to Canada anymore. You could stay. Have a new life here.”
She stills so completely he doesn’t need a program to wonder that perhaps this was the wrong thing to say.
“I need to think about Alice,” she finally tells him. “She always comes first.”
“I understand.”
“But if she decides to stay, then I... I wouldn’t be against it.”
She leans her head against his arm, and after a quick search on his database, he realizes this is yet another human gesture. So he does what humans usually do in this situation, and leans his own head against hers.
He doesn’t understand feelings very well, but this... he hopes she can see he feels affection for her.
I am deviant and I don’t have to be alone.
They spend three weeks hidden in Hank’s house. Three weeks of Kara hiding the gun and pretending to be doing nothing. Three weeks of getting to know Alice. Three weeks of Hank getting to know the girls.
Three weeks of touching Kara’s hand whenever possible, trying to learn anything she’s willing to teach. He doesn’t think anyone can understand human emotions the way Kara does. Doesn’t think anyone can be more human than her.
And the last few days were showing him that there might be something very wrong with his programming. Something besides his deviancy. It’s nothing but a glitch, he assumes, but it keeps popping up whenever he’s near Kara.
Kara, who’s now trying to convince Hank to allow her to cook something. Kara, who doesn’t seem to be getting frustrated with his friend even though he’s already swearing.
Alice is quiet, sitting on one of his legs and staring idly around. After she allowed him to see she’s one of them, they got closer. She’d often touch him so they could chat without being heard.
“You like her,” Alice says now, smiling mischievously even though no sound comes from her mouth. “You like Kara!”
He feels his blue blood going to his cheeks, a blush forming there. It makes Alice giggle, but for once he doesn’t enjoy it.
“It’s nothing like that,” he tells her. “I like her the same way everyone likes her. I admire her. She’s a good... person.”
“I think you like her more than most people do,” Alice insists. “You should tell her. I think it’d make Kara very happy to know.”
“She wants to move soon. You’re both going to Canada, aren’t you? Telling her wouldn’t be... wise.”
“No, you should still talk to her. I know we’re going to need to go soon, we have to look for Luther. But... you could come with us, if you want. We could be a family.”
He shakes his head, feeling something akin to sadness filling his gut. “I can’t. My place is here.”
“Then Kara and I could stay,” Alice bargains.
“I wouldn’t ask for that. I’m not worth it. I’m just a machine.”
The little girl rolls her eyes. “That’s not true. You’re nice. You’re one of us. Family.”
To prove her point, she shows him what she feels for him. Affection. He won’t ever get tired of this emotion. It makes everything feel good, soothes all of his despair.
“You’re extraordinary, Alice. I’m happy you allowed me to get to know you.”
“That means you like me, too?”
“Essentially.”
She beams. “Then I’ll tell Kara that we have to stay.”
“You should tell her about being an android, that’s what you should discuss with her.”
“I can’t!” Alice’s enthusiasm withers. “She won’t love me anymore if she knows. She... she likes believing I’m human. And I can be human for her. Right? I can, right?”
“You can,” he agrees. “But you shouldn’t.”
“What are you two doing?” Kara asks with a smile, sitting next to them and offering Alice some food. “I hope you like this, Alice.”
The little girl shifts completely, withdrawing her hand and allowing the nanobots to put her skin back in place. Kara doesn’t seem to notice a thing.
“It’s nothing,” Alice says. “I was just thinking that maybe... maybe we should stay with Mr. Connor. I like him, Kara.”
He flushes once again, going completely rigid when Kara turns her curious stare to him.
“Really?” She asks.
He shakes his head. “I didn’t ask her to say anything!”
“I’m not saying you did,” Kara says with a chuckle. “But I’ve been thinking about the same thing.”
“And what did you decide?” He asks, much too eager to hear her answer.
Before Kara can say anything, Hank shows up and gestures for Connor to accompany him outside.
He doesn’t want to hear Hank telling him to be careful again.
“The revolution shit is approaching,” Hank says instead, finishing his sentence with a huff. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet,” Connor says truthfully. He wasn’t prepared to discuss this. “I want to help. But Alice and Kara need to be safe.”
Hank nods. “Fucking hell, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I got a tip from where some deviants are hidden.”
The lieutenant has his full attention now. “Markus could be there,” Connor muses. “I could go and try to help.”
“I’ll stay with the girls.”
“I... I appreciate it very much, Lieutenant. Take care of them.”
“Yeah, whatever. Just don’t get yourself killed, you piece of plastic. Hear me? I want you back here in a week tops.”
“I’ll do my best,” he promises, even though he knows there is a good chance he won't survive this mission. “It was very good to know you, Lieutenant.”
“You’re going now?” Hank seems a bit surprised when Connor nods. “Alright, can’t say I didn’t see that one coming. Take care. And don't die. I mean it!”
Connor spares one second to look back at the house, hoping that Kara and Alice will be okay. He trusts Lieutenant Anderson to keep them safe—he just wishes he could be there, too.
After Hank tells him the supposed location—68% chance of being correct—he walks away without looking back.
He can help them. He can help his people. Do something that will be worth it. Possibly die in the process, sweetening the deal. If he dies, CyberLife will leave him alone. If he dies, he won’t be a spy anymore.
“You wanna infiltrate the CyberLife Tower?” Markus’ mouth hangs open for a second. “Connor, that’s suicide... ”
“They trust me,” he says with confidence. “They’ll let me in.”
Before Markus can say something else—or maybe he is already saying something and Connor just isn’t listening—he sees someone approaching them. Kara. He doesn’t need air, but his breath still feels caught in his throat.
She looks... sad. Disappointed.
“You didn't say goodbye,” She whispers when she’s finally in front of him, ignoring Markus completely. “Do you have any idea how Alice felt? How I felt? And now I find out that it's all for a suicide mission.”
“This will keep you safe,” he parrots to her, repeating what he’s been telling himself over and over. “Both of you need a world to live after this ends. I’ll make sure there is something for you and Alice.”
“At what cost?” Kara insists, and he finally notices Markus is gone for now. “What good is there if you can’t see it too? Alice... she was so desperate. She begged me... she was crying. You made her cry. We already lost... we lost so much. How dare you make her attached to you only to leave her behind like that?”
By the end of her sentence, tears are leaking from Kara’s eyes nonstop. He wonders, once again, if it’s possible for him to cry as well. He wants to cry.
“I’m sorry,” he tells her honestly. He hopes she can see it in his eyes, he hopes she can hear his program screaming that he’s sorry he hurt them.
Kara wipes her eyes, and suddenly she’s hugging him and he feels too much again. But... he doesn’t push her away. Instead, he hugs her back. Wraps his arms around her back.
“Don’t do this,” she begs. “Please. This... Markus is right. This is suicide. You can’t do it.”
“But if I don’t, how can we win this war? Our people need some advantage. I can provide it.”
“Please,” she repeats. “Don’t go.”
She allows him to feel her despair, her fear and her affection. The feelings are all jumbled together, a mess that becomes its own unique feeling.
“Will you stay, too?” He asks, feeling ashamed at how selfish his plea is. “Stay in Detroit. I can help you with Alice.”
Kara pulls away from him just a bit, just enough so he can see her nod.
“How is Alice?” He suddenly asks. “Where did you leave her?”
“Hank,” Kara says. “He promised to take care of her. I trust him.”
He nods. “He told you to come here?”
“No. I... hours after you left, after Alice realized you were gone, she wanted to go out and look. She wouldn’t stop crying until I promised to find a way to bring you back. So I asked Hank for help. He was the only one that wasn’t that worried, so I imagined he knew what happened.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeats.
Kara shakes her head. “It’s okay now. We’ll be okay. Hank also threatened me, you know,” she says that with a smile, but Connor’s blood runs cold.
“What?” He asks, his entire posture stiff.
Kara laughs. “He said I better bring his son back, make sure he wouldn’t die. He said... he said I would regret it if I hurt you.”
She still seems to find the whole situation funny, but Connor doesn’t understand one bit of it.
“Hank’s son is dead,” he states. “He died years ago.”
It does seem to shock Kara, but her fond smile goes back quickly. “I believe he was talking about you, Connor. He sees you... the same way I see Alice.”
It’s like opening his eyes for the first time all over again.
Love.
Love, the strange and fascinating emotion.
He thinks he might understand it better now.
“Humans have decided to exterminate us,” Markus' voice startles them, though a quick look proves that Markus is not here. He is speaking with all androids, transmitting a message. Kara takes his hand after a moment, though, and that makes something flutter in his chest. “Our people are packed in camps right now, being destroyed. Time has come to make a choice, one that very well may determine the future. I know... I know you’re all angry. And I know you wanna fight back. But I assure you—violence is not the answer here. We’re gonna tell them peacefully that we want justice.”
Connor tunes out for a moment, still feeling Kara’s hand in his. She’s going to be part of it now. He is going to be part of it now. They are going to fight.
“We’re gonna be okay,” she whispers, a faint promise in her lips and eyes. He believes her. “Everything will be alright.”
When they’re all cornered by soldiers, a ridiculously small number of their people left, Connor doubts Kara’s words. She’s hidden behind him, because he’ll make sure bullets hit him before they come close to her.
Her right hand is squeezing his arm, a grip so strong that he believes he’d be feeling pain were he human.
They are doomed. There’s no way out of this. If only he had gone to CyberLife, maybe it’d be different. But now there’s nothing to be done. He doesn’t regret his choices though, because they meant he wouldn’t be alone when his time to die came. Kara would be there. He wouldn’t be alone.
He realizes he’s not the only one believing they are doomed when he sees the sad look North and Markus exchange before they lean close to each other, their lips touching briefly.
His software almost fries, and the constant pressure of Kara’s hand on his arm makes something snap.
Love.
He understands it completely.
It’s...
He can’t explain it, but he can feel it.
And he knows Kara must feel the shift of his thoughts as well, because she gasps. They’re still connected, still sharing every thought and emotion until the very end.
She moves from behind him, staring briefly at North and Markus before putting both of her hands on his cheeks. Her hands turn white, metallic as her skin recedes, and he believes his cheeks do as well. Finally, she touches her lips to his, the same way their friends are doing. He doesn’t understand a lot of what he’s supposed to be doing, but he feels so much.
It’s so different.
So overwhelming.
But if that’s how he was supposed to die, then he’d accept it.
When Connor opens his eyes after Kara’s mouth leaves his, he sees the soldiers lowering their guns. The androids surrounding them are all sharing their affection with each other—hugging, holding hands, kissing. It’s their final protest. It’s them daring the soldiers to execute people who just want to be left alone, people that just want to live and love.
And it works.
Kara smiles, her eyes filled with tears once more, before she kisses him again. It’s longer this time, though it’s still... sweet. There’s nothing but her utmost perfection for him to taste in her mouth, and it makes him glow in a way he never thought possible. Were he still a machine, none of this would be possible.
Wetness drips from his cheeks, and at first he assumes it’s snow. But when Kara releases him again, he touches the wetness and sees—
Tears.
He has them. He can cry. He can... he’s like them. Part of the family. Of a cause. Something big and important. And he can cry.
“Can we go home now?” Kara whispers.
“Yes,” he says without hesitation. The soldiers are all moving away, allowing them to go as well. “Home.”
When they go back to Hank’s—tired, dirty and bloodied—the first thing the lieutenant exclaims is something along the lines of, “You fucking son of a bitch! I saw you being kissed on the TV!”
Connor wouldn’t trade this family for anything in the world.
They meet Markus again later in the week, and Connor is informed that several deviants, previously hiding in the city, are now showing up to ask for help.
One of them, a very tall man with a long dark coat, beams and pulls Kara right into his arms when he spots them. He all but ignores both Connor and Markus.
Connor would be lying to say that didn’t make him feel... something... different and unpleasant. Especially when Kara giggled, her eyes bright with happiness.
“You’re alive!” She exclaims, touching the man’s cheeks. “I can’t believe it! I... Alice and I were going to go look for you, but then everything happened and—”
“How’s the little one?” He asks, finally putting Kara back down.
“She’s good,” Kara says. “She misses you, Luther.”
“I’ll visit her soon,” he promises. “I tried to make it to the bus station, but I couldn’t... so I hid. And then I saw you on the television!”
Finally, he turns to stare suspiciously at Connor. It makes him want to frown—and if he still had his LED, Connor could bet it’d be glowing deep red.
Human emotions could, sometimes, be quite annoying and hurtful.
“Yes,” Kara says with a grin, moving to take Connor’s hand. The small gesture makes him feel infinitely better. He’s still important. She still feels enough affection to demonstrate it in public. “It wasn’t planned, obviously. Luther, this is Connor. He saved Alice and I.”
Luther asks for his hand, and Connor begrudgingly humors the man. He is a very tall man, after all.
“I know what you feel,” the man tells him immediately, his voice sounding inside Connor’s head. “If you hurt Kara... or Alice... I will personally make sure you’re shut down forever. She’s my sister now, and I’ll protect her forever.”
He remembers Kara telling him Hank threatened her the same way, but still can’t understand why she found it funny.
Still, he has no intention of hurting either of them.
“I understand,” Connor tells the man. “I’ll do my best to keep them safe and happy. Forever.”
When the man—Luther—nods and allows Connor to have his privacy back, he releases a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.
After spending two full days with Alice, Luther leaves. Apparently he’s going to Canada, even though the girls are staying behind.
Staying with Connor. The idea pleases him a lot, makes him happier than he could imagine. Sumo is happy to have Alice around as well, because the two of them spend long hours playing together.
Furthermore, Connor is also pleased that President Warren seems to really be on their side. To help them start over, she's making a small sum of money available for every android. After negotiations, Markus convinced her to also allow androids to have a small part of the city where they could live peacefully. Somewhere androids would always be safe. Because they aren't naive enough to believe everything would suddenly change. Connor doesn't believe it. Humans could still be dangerous, and Alice still needed the protection.
So with his and Kara’s money, they managed to get a place for them in an android-only neighborhood. Safe, at least for now. They’d be moving soon, maybe in a day or two.
“I’ll miss the kid,” Hank tells him while they watch Alice, Kara and Sumo playing. “I’ll miss you, too, piece of plastic.”
“I’ll stay around,” Connor tells him. “Visit often. Sumo seems very attached to them.”
“Just Sumo?” Hank chuckles. “I told you to be careful around pretty girls. I barely have time to blink and you’re moving in with her! You’re making me feel older than I am, Con.”
“I don’t understand what you mean, Lieutenant.”
Instead of answering, Hank pulls him into a tight, warm hug.
“You know you’re my son, right?” The older man asks, voice sounding a bit different. “Our blood might be of different colors, but you’re still my son.”
Connor frowns, but he also smiles. Yes. He understands it now. “I know,” he tells Hank.
“Good. Now go be with the girls, they’re waiting for you.”
And they really are. Kara kisses him on the lips briefly before he drops to his knees to play with Alice, laughing when Sumo the huge dog decides to lick the girl’s face.
This... is his family. And he’s happy to have it.
Alice looks up to smile at him, and her voice sounds inside his head— "Can you help me tell Kara?"
"You want to do this?" he asks, surprised at how bold Alice’s move is. But then again, it’s for the best. Kara deserves to know. And he doesn’t think she’ll love Alice any less after learning the truth. If anything, she’ll probably love Alice more.
"I do," Alice says, taking a deep, deep breath. She’s human, he knows she is. Maybe her blood is blue and her body is filled with biocomponents, but she’s still human. An extraordinary little girl.
Connor takes Kara’s hands between his, doing his best to let his body shower her with his affection. She smiles, and he feels her doing the same thing he did—showing him how much she cares. One of his hands releases hers, and he gestures for Alice to put her hand between both his and Kara’s.
When she does, her skin receding away for a moment, Kara gasps. Her eyes go wide, her mouth hangs open. And for a second, he can see her working through her memories, realizing that yes, this is the truth. Her eyes well up with tears, and in one swift move, she’s hugging both him and Alice.
The little girl’s concerns melt away, and his does as well. It’s going to be okay. They’re going to be okay.
Their first day at the new house is as uneventful as it could be. There is another AX400 living on the other side of the street—though Connor doesn’t know her name yet, didn’t get the chance to talk to the other androids—and that seems to bother Kara a bit while she helps Alice feel more at home.
After their relationship blossomed, he became much more connected to Kara. They didn’t need to be touching for him to listen to her emotions. Because her emotions are loud, so loud. Kara doesn't pretend. She just feels.
“I’m going to see my room,” Alice announces, though she does give him a worried look. Connor guesses she can feel Kara’s emotions as well, given how close the two of them are. He hears Alice’s voice in his head, sounding careful, “Please talk to her?”
He nods, and Alice disappears to explore their new house a bit more.
“Something bothering you?” He asks Kara, instinctively offering his hand to her. He doesn’t need to ask—but if being deviant taught him something, it’s that people feel more comfortable when he asks questions instead of just stating facts.
She smiles—and for the first time since he met her, he sees it’s fake. She’s not happy. It hurts him, because some part of Connor wonders if this is his fault. If he couldn’t take care of her the right away, if he disappointed her.
Kara takes his hand gently, her fake smile becoming sad. When they’re connected, he can still feel bits and pieces of her eagerness to move here, to start a new life. But she’s also unhappy now that they’re here. And the source of her unhappiness is oddly related to the AX400 living next door.
“Did you see her?” Kara asks, her voice echoing inside his head.
He frowns. This feels like a tricky question, one he’s positive being a detective can’t help him answer. So he tries something different, more human, “Who?”
Kara shakes her head. “Don’t do this. You’re not dumb. You know what I meant.”
“Yes,” he says with a sigh. “Yes, I did see her. But... what exactly about her is bothering you?”
“She looks just like me. Exactly the way I looked before I cut my hair. She’s... she’s a perfect reflex. Why did they make us look the same?”
It’s a rhetorical question, but Connor still does his best to answer, “Laziness, I’d assume. I don’t believe they wanted to make us different from each other. We have... models.”
“If she decided to cut her hair one day,” Kara starts, “you and Alice wouldn’t know the difference between us.”
He uses his free hand to touch her cheek the same way she touches his when she wants a kiss. Kara closes her eyes, and when she opens them again, they’re filled with tears.
It’s impulsive, but he leans forward and kisses both of her cheeks. “Alice and I will always be able to recognize you. You’re unique.” Something forces him to continue, to share a secret he’s kept hidden until now. “I… my model is RK800, and while you don’t see others like me walking around, CyberLife kept some of us. If I... died... then they could replace me with someone that was identical. Someone that would probably be programmed to trick everyone. It would act like me, have my memories, but it wouldn’t be me.”
Kara’s free hand comes to rest in his cheek, mimicking his gesture. “They wouldn’t fool us. I could recognize you anywhere.” At his frown, she continues, “I do remember now why I’ve always felt like I knew you. It’s because I do. When Alice and I were on the run—”
“I’m so sorry for that,” Connor tries to explain, his face flushing a faint blue. “I couldn’t... I didn’t want to do that, but I... I didn’t have a choice... ”
“I know,” she says. “I don’t hold it against you. I’m just telling you that no one will ever be like you. And I won’t ever forget you. I won’t ever be tricked. I'll always be able to recognize you.”
He smiles, his tense and stiff posture relaxing. “Thank you. I... feel the same. No one will ever replace you or Alice. And if they try, I’ll find you both and bring you back home.”
Kara rests her head against his chest, and it feels wonderful.
Suddenly, there’s something else she’s trying to tell him without words. Something she’s trying to show him through her emotions.
“Promise me we’ll always be together?” She asks, sounding like Alice for a moment. “I know it’s not fair to ask something like that, because we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but... I need this promise. Please.”
Before answering her, he tips his head down, slowly meeting her lips with his. Things are always like this. Slow, sweet, tender. He prefers it this way, too, because he’s still learning how he should behave. But Connor is happy to be learning all of this with Kara’s help.
When they let go of each other, his lips still tingling with heat, he rests his forehead against hers. “I promise you, Kara,” he says. “I won’t ever leave you.”
“I think... ” Kara starts, her eyes shining. “I think I might love you. I know it’s too soon, I know humans wait more to be sure of this... but I am sure. I love you, Connor.”
For the second time in his existence, he feels tears in his eyes, leaking, running down his cheeks. Kara wipes them, and after she’s done, she gives him a small kiss.
“I love you, too, Kara,” he whispers, quiet, careful, worried that speaking too loudly might break their little bubble of happiness. He means what he said, though. He loves her. She showed him what love is, and now... now that he understands it, he sees he loves her so much it’s overwhelming.
Maybe the future of the androids might still be uncertain and dangerous.
But his future with Kara and Alice is defined, and nothing is going to set them apart.
Their first day might have been uneventful, but the end of the first week is anything but that.
Markus and North come to visit them, though Connor doesn’t believe the term should really be “visit.” They came to discuss strategies on what is going to happen next, to ask for help with their plans of creating a world that’s safer for androids. He still isn’t very used to the fact that the two leaders actually want to listen to what he and Kara have to say, though.
Before he became deviant, no one really wanted to hear what he had to say. Well, truthfully, he didn’t have a lot to say either. But now there’s Alice looking up to him, sometimes mimicking the things he does in their everyday lives. There's Kara as well, who’s always asking questions to see if he’s alright, if he’s happy, if he wants to do something special for the day. And now there are Markus and North, who want... feedback? He isn’t sure.
He was teaching Alice his coin trick, explaining that it helps to be sure their systems are calibrated, and she seemed very eager to learn—but as soon as Kara opened the door and their friends got in, Alice abandoned him and his coin to greet their guests. He couldn't help but smile, though. Alice is... more carefree these days. She likes making friends, meeting new people, and making sure the people she already knows are as happy as possible. And she seems very fond of North. Kara doesn’t mind, and neither does he.
“Hi, Alice!” North opens her arms wide, and Alice jumps to hug the older woman. “Everything alright?”
Alice probably doesn’t see it, but he understands the hidden meaning of North’s question. She’s very protective of fellow androids, and she’s still afraid that humans might be plotting something. He understands her worries, truly. There are days when the same worries almost fry his system. But for now everything seems fine.
“We’re okay,” he tells her before Alice can answer, finishing the short sentence with a smile. “This is a very calm place to live.”
North nods, and suddenly Kara is glued to her side. He tries to connect to Kara, but finds only static. Whatever she wants to discuss with North, she doesn’t want him to know. It’d make him worried, but the faint blush in Kara’s cheeks actually makes him curious.
“Do you think we could talk a bit?” Kara asks, not really meeting North’s eyes. When they touch hands, understanding dawns on North’s face. “It’s important. And... private.”
North nods, allowing Kara to drag her away. “Yes, of course. Come on, Kara.”
After they disappear, Alice comes to sit by his side. He turns to look at Markus, who looks... amused. And is blushing as well. So apparently he’s the only one not allowed to know things.
He can’t control his frown, and a spite of... jealously that courses through his system. But that should probably wait, because suddenly Markus’ face turns serious. This is probably going to be one very long discussion.
When they’re alone again—it feels good to be alone, no matter how much he’s come to appreciate Markus and North’s company—Connor finds it in himself to approach Kara. She barely looked him in the eye after she came back with North and the four of them discussed possible plans. CyberLife was very quiet these days, and it seemed to be worrying everyone.
Now, though, something else is worrying him. Is this still about the other android living next to them? He thought Kara had moved past that. Or maybe he did something wrong that hurt her?
“Kara,” he starts, offering her his hand with a pleading look. “What happened?”
She frowns, and instead of taking his hand, she rests hers on his cheek. He gives her the kiss he knows she’s asking for. It does make him feel better, as does the smile that appears on her face.
“Nothing wrong, I promise.” She gives him another kiss before pulling away. “Nothing to be worried about. Do you think... ah, do you think Hank would be okay to watch Alice tomorrow for us?”
He thinks for a moment. “I’m not sure, but I’d say chances are that yes, he would agree. Statistically, strange events can always occur. Why?”
There it is again, her blush, making her cheeks a bit blue. “It’s a surprise.”
“For Alice?”
Kara shakes her head. “For us, actually.”
This makes him confused, but the light in Kara’s eyes is enough for him not to worry anymore. He didn’t do anything wrong. It’s alright. They’re alright.
“I’ll talk to Hank,” he promises, and it earns him another kiss.
Maybe this will be a good surprise.
After he explains his situation to Hank, the man won’t stop laughing on his face.
“I told you, I told you,” he repeats, shaking his head. “Apparently I should’ve tried to talk to Kara, not you.”
“I don’t like the feeling of being the only one who doesn’t understand something,” he says, frowning.
This makes Hank laugh even more. “You seriously didn’t understand what she wants?”
Connor shakes his head. “No. She said it’s a surprise.”
“Alright, I’ll watch Alice for you. Next time you see me though, spare me the details. I don’t need this sort of image inside my head.”
Hank comes to get Alice the next day after lunch. As soon as he sees Kara, he winks. Her blush is so deep that it almost looks like her whole face is blue. Connor finds that... cute. Very much so.
“Hank!” Alice exclaims, running to give the man a bear hug. He smiles genuinely at her, ready to hug the girl back. “Do you want to see me doing the coin trick? Connor taught me!”
“He did?” He ruffles her brown hair. “Sure, squirt, I’d like to see you trying that.”
“You never liked it when I was the one doing it,” Connor says, frowning.
Hank shrugs. “Not my fault she’s cuter than you are. Now come on, Alice. Let’s give them some privacy.” He winks once again, and Kara is so stiff that Connor believes she’d pass out if such a thing was possible.
When they close the door, he hugs Kara without warning, steadying her so she can stop blushing and acting funnily. It takes her a moment, but she returns his hug.
“Do you trust me?” She asks in a whisper, finally looking up and meeting his curious stare.
“Of course I do,” he says immediately. “I love you.”
She smiles, kisses him on the lips. It’s different this time, though. Usually, their kisses are sweet. Maybe... innocent. It’s not like he never considered something different, he just didn’t think he should be the one to say something. Kara seemed happy with how things were going. He didn’t want to... mess their relationship. Because if something went wrong, he wouldn’t lose just Kara. She’d take Alice with her, and he’d be alone again.
But this is different.
And she’s the one initiating it.
He knows many words, many different languages—he’s sure she knows, too—but the only way he can describe her kiss is “hungry.” She bites and she giggles and she scratches his artificial skin. It’s so different from everything they did before, but he’s more than certain he likes it. At least, his body seems to be responding well—aside from the warnings of imminent overheating, that is.
He knows what she wants now. And he realizes with a start that he might want it, too, even though he has no idea what he should be doing. He knows that androids can copulate just like humans—after all, he did visit that Eden Club place—but this is different. This is Kara. This is someone he loves. It’s... how can he show her his love while doing something like that? When his system keeps warning him about overheating, when he’s quickly losing control of his own body?
“It’s okay,” Kara whispers after giving another bite on his lower lip. “I... I asked North... she showed me what to do.” She blushes profusely again, and now Connor believes he probably does as well. So this was what she didn’t want him seeing. It bothers him a bit that North knows this much about them, but otherwise he’s too excited with the moment to think about anything else.
“Will you show it to me?” He asks. “Guide me. Tell me what to do.”
Kara nods and takes his hand between hers. Once again, she shows him her love and her trust, and he allows her to guide him to another room. A bedroom. One they had intended to keep for whatever reason, even though they don’t really need to sleep. Now he’s glad it’s there.
They lock the door as well, even though Alice isn’t here to interrupt or witness anything. And soon Kara is suddenly looking a bit shy, so he tries to take the lead and do what she was doing before. Kissing, biting, exploring. It’s different from every other experience Connor’s ever had.
“Are you okay?” He asks her, giving Kara a small kiss on her neck, making the skin there waver between human and android.
“Yes,” she says with a nod. “Just ignoring my system telling me I’m in danger of overheating.”
He chuckles, playing with her hair for a second. “If it makes you feel any better, mine’s the same. We could... well, we could stop.”
“No.” Kara shakes her head, her hands flying to grab his hair as well. “No stopping.”
He nods and he doesn’t stop. Neither does Kara. It’s so different, so overwhelming. After their clothes are discarded, tossed aside to some random part of the room, he feels more overwhelmed than he ever did before.
Hugging and kissing Kara when there’s nothing between them is everything he found on his database about the act and much more.
”It’ll be alright,” she whispers, her hands gripping his arms. “I’ll always be here. Always.”
Once again, he finds himself whispering the three little words to her, “I love you. So much. I can’t statistically explain how much, actually.”
She laughs. “It’s okay, I love you, too.”
“You still need to help me, you know,” he says, his head leaning against her shoulder. “You said you could guide me.”
”I will,” Kara promises. “Close your eyes.”
As soon as he does and she moves a bit, Connor understands the appeal of demonstrating love this way. She takes the lead most of the time, and he’s happy to let her. He smiles whenever her eyes find his, kisses her whenever possible. If anything, this shows both of them how truly human they can be.
They stay there a few hours, enjoying the peace and quiet, enjoying each other. He’s positive no experience will ever be like this one, and from the blue glow in her cheeks, she enjoyed it just as much.
His system is still working oddly, but there’s nothing more relaxing than that. Flipping his coin couldn’t ever compare to this. To Kara. And he loves her. Loves her more than anything in the world.
Kara is staring at the ceiling, a small smile on her lips. He rolls a bit, his chest pressing against hers, to give her a kiss.
”You want to do it again?” She asks with a laugh, though Kara is already kicking the sheets away from them.
”We can do it as many times as you want,” he promises her, a mischievous smile on his face before he gives her another lingering kiss.
Maybe they should convince Hank to watch Alice more often.
Hank and Connor are sitting together in the living room while Kara puts Alice to bed when a knock—tentative, but insistent nonetheless—comes from their front door. It startles Connor, and Hank is on his feet the next second. He squeezes Connor’s shoulders before saying, “I’ll see who it is.”
To make his point across, Hank taps the gun he keeps by his side along with his badge. It takes Hank a moment to put on his “bad cop” face—the man seems as attached to this family as Connor himself feels—before he throws the door open and barks, “What do you want?”
A human male is waiting on the other side, and he looks slightly familiar. Not very tall, but definitely fatter than what is considered healthy. He has greasy brown hair and a scowl covering half of his face.
The human looks at Hank and Connor several times, his scowl morphing into a confused frown. “Fuck, I think I got the wrong address. I’m sorry.” Just as Hank is about to close the door, not bothering to answer the man, he continues, “Actually, since I’m already here, might as well ask. This is an android neighborhood, right?”
Hank purses his lips. “You’re here, you should know that.”
The man either doesn’t hear Hank or chooses to ignore him. “I’m looking for an AX400. Calls itself Kara. It... it got my little girl.”
“Shit,” Connor mutters, finally analyzing the man. Todd Williams. Presumed dead, but apparently not so much. Connor's on his feet in a second, and he walks to the door much more quickly than any human could. Before Hank can answer, Connor says as calmly as he can manage, “I’m going to ask that you please leave my house, sir.”
It takes the man a moment, but understanding finally dawns on his face. “Well, at least now I’m sure this is an android neighborhood.”
There are no secrets between him and Kara—none. And now that he recognizes the man, all he can see are the memories Kara showed. Threats, violence. Squeezing her neck, hitting Alice. It takes him every bit of his self-control not to murder that scumbag right there. It wouldn’t look good, after all. He still has high hopes of going back to working at the police station.
“You heard the kid,” Hank says, his hand touching his gun lightly. “You’re not welcome here.”
“I just asked a question,” Todd insists. “And since there’s an android right here, it could help me.”
“First,” Hank starts, “he’s a man and not an ‘it.’ Second, take your pick: do I have to shove my gun down your throat or up your ass for you to leave?”
So Hank realizes it as well, Connor sees. He knows who this is. Connor knows Alice shared that part of her life with Hank, the only human she seems to completely trust. And realizing it or not, Hank loves Alice just as much as Connor and Kara do.
Wearing only an oversized shirt and pants, Kara comes from the corridor, looking startled. “What’s going on, Connor? I thought you’d come stay with us and—”
Her eyes must have found Hank first, because her expression softens. But then she registers the third man, and Connor can see the horror written all over her face. He can see her fighting against the urge to run, to hide.
It feeds his murderous part a bit more.
Todd only needs one look at Kara before he’s pushing past both Hank and Connor, grabbing Kara by the arm and squeezing, shaking her until there are tears forming in her eyes.
“You! You stole my little girl!” He yells, not bothering to look at anything besides Kara.
“Todd... ?” She blinks, willing the fear to go away. In a moment, her eyes are steely, cold. “Let me go. Let me go or I swear you’re going to regret this.”
A click and Hank has his gun pointing directly to Todd’s head. “You heard the lady.”
“It’s no lady,” he spits. “It’s an—”
Before he can finish his sentence, Connor is moving and being fueled by all the memories still alive inside his head. This man... this... this piece of trash hurt his girls. He hurt the girls. Tried to kill them. Seems only fair he sees what androids can do when they’re the ones that are angry. He grabs the man by the neck, pushing him against the wall so violently he feels it shaking a bit.
“You will not talk to her like that,” he says, squeezing Todd’s throat with each word. “I’m not sure how you’re still alive, but I promise you: that’s not going to be the case anymore if you dare to touch Kara or Alice ever again.”
“Going... to call... the police,” Todd struggles to say. “Stole... little girl... ”
Hank laughs. “I’m the police, buddy. And if Connor wants to kill you, I don’t think I’m going to do anything to stop him.”
From their connection, all Connor can feel is Kara’s pain at the memories. Their connection isn’t as strong when they aren’t touching, but they can still communicate. And he’s done feeling her fear, her pain. This ghost needs to go, either dead or alive. He doesn’t care.
Soft footsteps come from the corridor, and Connor knows without turning around who’s coming. He can’t bear to let Alice witness violence like this, so he lets go of the man’s throat, allowing him to slide to the floor.
“Dad...?” Alice whispers brokenly, and what hurts the most is that Connor isn’t sure if she’s referring to him or the man he just tried to murder. His question is answered when she runs to him, to his arms, and hugs him as tightly as her little arms can. Connor hugs her back, rests his cheek against the top of her head. After a moment, she runs to hide behind Kara’s legs.
“Alice... ” Todd says, massaging his throat. “She’s so different... how? How can she look so different? She looks alive. ”
Alice hides behind Kara even more, and she raises a hand to ask Connor to join her living barricade. He does as she asks, grabbing Alice’s free hand. He tries to send her positive thoughts, tries to tell her everything will be alright. He’s not sure he manages it, though.
Hank, being the calmer one at the moment, hails Todd back to his feet and shoves him towards the door. “Fuck off, and I swear, if I ever see you around again... ”
He looks one last time at Alice—or at the parts of her that aren’t concealed by Connor and Kara—and gulps. “I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I wasn’t myself back then, Alice, I... I really wanted to love you, but... ”
“Domestic violence isn’t something that can be fixed with an apology, fucker,” Hank says, eyes narrowed.
“I understand,” Kara finally says, making both Connor and Hank look at her as if she just lost her mind. “When your wife walked out, she took your daughter away, the other Alice, didn’t she? And you couldn’t live without her. So you bought yourself an android... a substitute little girl... you thought you could love her. But nothing could replace your child. And now... now Alice is our child, now she has a family to support and protect her.”
Todd looks taken aback for a moment before he forces himself to answer, “I just wanted to prove to myself I could be a good father... that she was wrong,” he says, looking down at his hands. “But I fucked up all over again. She was right in the end. I didn’t deserve them. I... I miss my little girl... you don’t know how much I miss my little girl.”
“No,” Connor says, blinking to try and clear his mind. “You’re wrong. We do understand. Because Alice is ours now, and we all love her. If she was taken... ” He gulps. “I’m afraid I need to repeat something I’ve already said: you’re not welcome here. Please go.”
Alice sniffs behind them, and both Connor and Kara turn to kneel by her side. She’s mute, refuses to say anything. Not even through their connection. She just stares straight ahead, at the man, silent tears running down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” Todd repeats, stumbling back towards the door.
“You’d have killed us that night,” Kara states coldly. “I know you would.”
“Yes,” he says, face reddening. If it’s anger or embarrassment, Connor can’t tell. “I’m sorry.”
“And I already told you that being sorry doesn’t fix shit,” Hank says, voice growing louder with each word. He successfully pushes Todd outside now, though. “You should be grateful you aren’t behind bars right now. Or dead.” Before he closes the door, Hank says, “Oh, right. I forgot one thing.”
He punches the man straight on the nose, so strongly that the flow of blood is immediate. Then Hank closes the door, leans against it heavily, his eyes closing.
“Jesus fuck,” Hank mutters. “I think I need a drink after this.”
He walks past them to go raid their kitchen, though not before giving a friendly squeeze to each of their shoulders.
Alice lets out a heartbreaking sob, and in less than a second Kara is there, engulfing the little girl in her arms. “It’s over now, honey, shh...” she soothes. “He can’t hurt you anymore. I promise. I promise.”
“I just...” Alice sniffs again. “I just can’t understand... what I did that was so wrong. Why... why he couldn’t ever love me. I... wasn’t I good enough?”
“No, baby,” Kara says, her eyes looking dangerously close to leaking tears as well. “You did everything right. It wasn’t your fault. You’re the most perfect little girl I’ve ever met.”
Connor grabs Alice gently and hugs her against his chest. “Kara is right, Alice. You’re perfect.”
“Then why?” Alice insists. “Why couldn’t he love me?”
“He’s a fool,” he says, kissing her head. “Don’t think about him anymore. We’re here. We’re all here. We’re not going anywhere.”
“Okay,” Alice whispers, though there are still tears dripping from her chin. “Okay. I love you, Connor. And I love you too, Kara.”
He squeezes her a bit more before letting her go so she can hug Kara as well.
“And we love you too, Alice,” Kara says, smiling. “Come on now, let’s get you to bed.”
“It passed!” It’s several months later when Hank barrels into their house one morning, throwing the door open with all of his might. “It passed! The law passed!”
Connor jumps to his feet the next second, a startled look setting on his eyes. “What law?”
Hank rolls his eyes. “Aren’t you supposed to have wi-fi or something? Check the internet for recent news about androids!”
For a second, Connor looks at everything he can regarding news about android rights. He stumbles upon something promising, Government approves the petition on the possibility of android marriage: while interspecies marriage is still not legal, androids can now marry each other.
The article went on to ramble about Markus’ negotiations with President Warren and how Kamski himself had most likely pulled some strings as well. Connor doesn’t care about any of that.
He can marry Kara now.
They can become a family. Officially. They already live together, but now there would be physical evidence of how they loved each other and wanted to be together.
His mouth hangs open for a moment until he manages to look Hank in the eye. “Is this serious?”
“Of course it is!” Hank snorts. “Jesus Christ, how is it possible that I’m more excited about this than you are?”
“I am excited,” Connor insists. “I just... do you think I should ask Kara now?”
“I don’t know,” Hank says with a shrug. “Do you have a ring?”
“Do I need one?”
“Only if you want to, I don’t know, ask her to marry you. Connor, please don’t start being stupid now.”
He frowns. “I guess I’m a bit nervous and therefore not considering every piece of information I should.”
“Kid,” Hank says with a fond smile, annoyance disappearing. “That girl loves you. Granted, I think Sumo possibly loves you more, but... you and Kara are pretty much living a married life already. Hell, you two have a daughter already. Marrying will just formalize the things.”
“Then... then it’s not important?” Connor feels sad at the idea. He’s spent so long imagining this, dreaming with the option. To have it brushed aside by Kara would certainly hurt a lot.
“Of course it’s important if that’s what you two want. Just. Ask her, alright? I bet Sumo that she’ll say yes.”
Still, Connor shakes his head. Anxiety isn’t an emotion he likes to experience. “But what if she says no?”
“She won’t.”
“Technically, there’s a fifty percent chance that she will.”
Hank sighs. “Then you pretend it never happened. Wait for her to decide what she wants to do. Or go live with me. I don’t know!”
“Do you think maybe you could ask her for me?”
This earns him a glare. “No. Don’t be so thick. You want to marry her, you need the balls to ask her.” Another sigh. “I don’t know why I still come to you first, Connor. I should’ve gone to Kara, and I bet she’d have agreed to ask you in thirty seconds.”
Connor nods, rubbing the back of his neck. “Alright, alright. You win. I’ll go talk to her.”
“Not now!” Hank exclaims. “You need a ring first.”
“Oh. Right. Can you help me find one?”
Hank looks like he wants to complain, but after a full minute of silence, he nods.
While they still receive monetary support, it isn’t enough to afford any of the fancy rings Connor sees around. And there’s also the problem that some jewelries flat-out refuse to sell anything to an android.
But after a few hours of walking and searching, he manages to find something Both he and Hank deem nice. Simple, not exactly expensive, but beautiful. He hopes Kara approves of his choice.
Hank takes Alice to sleep in his house tonight and doesn’t make any jokes. It’s uncanny, and almost scary. He’s always ready to tease them when they ask for some time alone, but this time Connor doesn’t even need to ask. Hank suggests it and doesn’t really wait to hear what Connor thinks.
As soon as they leave, it starts snowing again. Kara brightens at the prospect of standing outside, enjoying the snow for a while. It makes him happy, so happy, to see her like this.
Kara sits outside, her back leaning against their wall. “Don’t you just love the snow?” She asks dreamily.
He smiles and sits down next to her. “I love you.”
She giggles. “Corny,” Kara says, but she rests her head on his shoulders. “Everything is so calm now. I like it. But I hope... well, I hope nothing bad happens soon.”
“You deserve the calmness,” he says. “I know these last few months were stressful.”
“For both of us. So yeah, we both deserve the calmness. And hey, better enjoy today while it lasts.” She says it with a mischievous grin, her eyes shining with affection.
Before Kara can kiss him, though, Connor gets to his feet and pulls her up as well. She looks at him with eyebrows raised, but her smile is intact.
“I don’t think we’ve danced in the snow yet,” he explains.
Kara laughs. “To be fair, we don’t dance a lot. Period.”
“Bad idea?”
She rests her hand on his cheek. “No. I like it.”
It takes him a moment to download something that can work as a dance for them, but in the end they just sway around, not really moving. Kara leans her head against his chest, her arms wrapped protectively around his back.
“Are you okay?” He asks her when Kara remains silent for too long.
She looks up and nods. “Yes, I am. Just... ” Instead of continuing, she presses a kiss on the corner of his mouth.
“I was thinking,” he starts after they stop kissing, “Did you hear about the new law?”
Kara smiles. “I did. Why?”
“Well, I... ” he bites his lower lip, chews on it in a way that should feel painful. “Hank told me that what we have here is essentially what married couples have, but that we could... with the new law... we could make it official, you know? Have a document that proves we’re a family.”
He could’ve stopped talking, should have, but his voice synthesizer just wouldn’t stop. And now Kara’s looking at him with a blank expression, and maybe this was a very bad idea—
Suddenly she laughs. “Please don’t tell me you got rings for us?”
He frowns, and his worries worsen until Kara grabs something from her pocket and—
Rings. She’s showing him rings.
He grabs his own set, shows her. This time, he laughs as well.
“I suppose we had the same idea,” he says, and she kisses him once again. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but... this means we are going to get married, right?”
She keeps laughing, and her eyes shine even more. “We definitely are.”
(When they’re done celebrating, they both wear two rings.)