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The mission had been a resounding success. The whole team was back together and working like a well-oiled machine. Bruce had gotten to stay back on the Quinjet instead of dragging the Hulk out. No civilians had been too badly injured or killed, and there wasn't any structure damage done that Tony couldn't throw money at to fix. Peter had even saved the day with another one of his clever plans and movie references. All in all, Tony was having a great time. Maybe that's why when Spider-Man flipped in to stand next to him, he turned to him with a blinding smile, clapped him on the shoulder and said, “Way to go, kid.”
Silence fell over the rest of the gathered Avengers. A silence that was thick and slippery and wrapped itself around Tony's lungs until he turned back to them and cleared his throat. “What are you gaping like that for?”
Steve was the first one to scrape his jaw off the pavement and pop his eyes back in their sockets. “Peter? Peter Parker is Spider-Man?”
“I- I'm sorry, run that by me one more time?”
“Peter is Spider-Man,” Natasha said thoughtfully. “You know, it kind of makes sense, actually.”
“No, it doesn't, actually,” Tony said stubbornly. “Look, I'm pretty sure I'd be the first to know if Peter was Spider-Man.”
“Nah, that's totally Peter,” Clint said with a wide grin. “One parent to another, that was the most dad thing I've seen in a long time.”
“Peter is the only one you treat like that,” Wanda added.
Tony was actually rather proud of himself for keeping his cool, but it was nothing compared to the kid. Peter had his Spider-Man phone out and was texting away, looking totally unbothered. “Bold of you to assume Tony only has one kid.” He tilted his head and gave a thumbs up for what Tony assumed was his usual post-battle selfie. “He collects us like trading cards, I swear. He's also got Harley Keener and Riri Williams, and I'm pretty sure he's got like a very long distance father figure thing going on with Nebula after all that mess with Thanos.”
“Ixnay on the idskay,” Tony hissed under his breath. “They don't know about Harley and Riri.”
“No, we didn't,” Natasha grinned, looking positively gleeful.
“Well, they're both geniuses -- I'm pretty sure Tony's got a thing -- and they mostly do their own thing. Harley still lives with his mom in Tennessee and Riri is at MIT, so they don't visit often. We still have a group chat going, though.”
“You have a what?” Tony demanded. “Why didn't I know about this?”
“Because we mostly use it for memes, but also to make fun of your helicopter parenting.”
“I'm not a helicopter parent!”
“Sorry, Tony, but you kind of are. I know for a fact that you keep track of Peter's vitals at all times,” Steve said sounding mildly sorry. He turned to Peter and all traces of remorse were gone. “So, group chat? What's that about?”
“Well, the chat is called Iron Kids and we all have usernames. I'm Spider-Son, Harley is Son Prime, and Riri is Dad’s Favorite. Peter changes his a lot, but he bounces back to The Live-In a lot.”
“That's it, we're leaving,” Tony cut in grabbing Peter’s arm and dragging him off. “We’ll meet you at the jet. I need to have a little talk with the Spiderling.”
“Make sure you un-ground him before the next mission!” Clint called after them. Tony stuck his hand in the air with the middle finger extended, but Peter gave him a cheerful thumbs up. “So. What was that about.”
“I panicked,” Peter said sheepishly, yanking off his mask. “They just guessed it out of nowhere from one perfectly normal action and I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't flat out lie, so an implication seemed like my best option.”
“So all of what you said was true, then?” Tony asked cocking a brow. “You guys really have a group chat?”
“Yeah. Harley and Riri keep their names most of the time, but I change mine on like a daily basis. Fortunately, I pretty much always change it to Spider-Son when i go on missions. It's kind of a low key way for them to keep updated. If I go too long without changing it back, they get worried. Speaking of which, what should my new name be? I stuck with Starkson for a bit after Thor showed up, but I want something new.”
“Pun Son,” Tony said without hesitation, thinking of the frankly alarming amount of hideous t-shirts hidden in Peter's closest.
“That's not awful, I guess. I'll keep it in mind.”
“So, Riri has dubbed herself my favorite?” At Peter's distracted grunt of confirmation, Tony sniffed and grinned. “Not inaccurate, I suppose.”
Peter's head whipped around, a betrayed look plastered on his face. “What?”
Tony shrugged, doing his best not to grin. “What can I say? She's living up to my legacy at MIT and she's already promised to take up the Iron Man mantle when I retire.”
Peter just scowled at him, cheeks slightly puffed out around pursed lips. “You're the worst.”
“At least Harley is taking over Stark Industries one day. You're a little traitor who's planning on putting me out of business. You're lucky I even keep you around.” Peter's face scrunched up like he’d been force fed a lemon. Tony chuckled and reached out a hand to ruffle his hair. “Come on. The others have probably beat us to the jet by now.”
Peter grinned at him, eyes bright and wide with no trace of their earlier annoyance. “Can we fly?”
“Well, I can fly, yes.”
“Come on, Mr. Stark. Pleeeeease?”
“Alright, fine. Just quit looking at me like that.” Tony put his helmet back on and fired up the repulsor jets while Peter let out a whoop and pulled his mask back on. Just as Tony took off, he felt a string of webbing catch his foot and the familiar drag of a delighted spider-themed teenager dragging along behind him.