Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Wow, is it just me or your boyfriend looks hotter than before?” Wei Wuxian stared at the side profile of a man near the entrance of the cafeteria. Just looking from a distance, he could tell that the stranger was the spitting image of Lan Xichen, down to the raven hair that reached his lower back and porcelain skin that could rival a model’s from a moisturizing cream commercial.

“What the fuck?” Jiang Cheng whipped his head around to look at the direction Wei Wuxian was staring at, and cussed more when he caught sight of the man in question. “...Shit. It was today?” He muttered to himself.

“Why? Is it actually Lan Xichen?” Wei Wuxian insisted, shaking Jiang Cheng’s shoulder all the while his eyes never leaving the man.

Jiang Cheng slapped Wei Wuxian’s hand off him. “That’s Lan Zhan. Don’t you remember him?”

“Oh, thank god.” Wei Wuxian sighed in mocked relief. “I thought I was gonna be forced to hit on your boyfriend.”

“What?”

“What?” Wei Wuxian threw the question back innocently and sipped on his soda. As Jiang Cheng’s words finally reached his brain, he suddenly choked on his drink.

Jiang Cheng looked at him in disgust as Wei Wuxian beat his chest in an effort to remove the liquid that wasn't supposed to end up in his lungs. “Wait– That’s Lan Zhan? Didn’t he study in China after middle school?”

It’s been seven years since he last saw Lan Wangji. Was he really that gorgeous even before? He was still a little taller than Wei Wuxian, his gangly limbs already been filled out nicely, and now he's all broad shoulders and long legs. Lan Wangji probably never had to suffer during puberty. Now that Wei Wuxian knew who he was, he couldn't mistook the ever-present scowl in Lan Wangji’s face and the cold demeanor he always liked to wear.

“Yeah, he just transferred here. Third year, same as us. Bad move if you ask me.”

“Wow... you seem to know a lot.” Wei Wuxian looked at him suspiciously.

Jiang Cheng just rolled his eyes. “Lan Xichen told me.”

“Okay. That’s nice.” Wei Wuxian stood from his seat and started to walk over to where Lan Wangji was standing, when his breath was suddenly cut short by the forceful tug on the back of his shirt. He nearly slipped, if not for his arm automatically bracing itself on the table.

“Ouch! What are you doing?” He hissed at Jiang Cheng, who was still gripping his shirt, and not even an ounce sorry for almost killing him.

“Stopping you.”

“Why?” Wei Wuxian was half gasping as he tried to remove his brother’s grip on him.

“Are you an idiot?” Jiang Cheng snapped, his hold getting tighter. “You’re really asking me that? Just stop bothering him.”

“I’m not gonna bother him! I’m just gonna say hi!”

“No means no.” Jiang Cheng said with finality.

“What? Are you my mother?” Wei Wuxian asked indignantly, while still struggling.

Jiang Cheng sighed and took a deep breath, as if he had no choice but to say the next words. “If that’s what it takes, then yes I am.”

“Oh my god,” Wei Wuxian finally yanked himself free from Jiang Cheng, and gasped. “You’re serious.”

Wei Wuxian still didn’t understand what was happening, but Jiang Cheng admitting he was the mother hen of the group was monumental.

“I’m going to tell that to Jin Ling, so you and Lan Xichen can officially adopt him.” And Jin Ling had to suffer the doting of Jiang Cheng 24/7.

“Shut up, just don’t go there. I’m warning you.” Wei Wuxian didn’t really get what the big deal was, but he didn't want to push it. He would be able to find it sooner or later, anyway.

“Okay, okay. I’ll behave,” He said, raising his hands in surrender, his eyes involuntarily watching Lan Wangji as he strode out of the cafeteria.

Wei Wuxian was definitely not following Lan Wangji. He just slipped from the hawk-like eyes of Jiang Cheng after their business management class, and went straight towards the residential area of the campus for a leisurely walk that definitely didn’t involve searching for Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian just happened to be in the Cloud Recesses house, looking for Lan Sizhui. For what reason, exactly? He was sure he would be able to come up with one if someone asked, and it's definitely not because of Lan Wangji. He didn't even know if he was staying in the Cloud Recesses.

But for now, he needed to find Lan Wangji before Jiang Cheng kills him.

And just as his luck, he saw his target emerging from the communal bathroom.

“Lan Zhan!”

Hearing his voice, Lan Wangji froze for a moment, before his steely eyes stared at Wei Wuxian, the same eyes he always had whenever they saw each other in middle school.

“It’s been a while, isn’t it? I missed you!” Wei Wuxian ran up towards him and tried to put a hand on his shoulder, which Lan Wangji expertly dodged.

“What are you doing here?” He didn’t miss the slight wary look Lan Wangji gave him. Ah, just like the good old days.

“Visiting you,” Wei Wuxian grinned, clearly not deterred by the cold greeting. He continued to smile before realizing Lan Wangji was waiting for him to elaborate.

“I just want to check up on you. You just transferred, so you're basically a freshie. Do you want to know about something? The houses? The classes? Clubs you wanna join? Best makeout spots in the campus?”

At the last suggestion, Lan Wangji’s glare hardened. “No.” He sidestepped to get past Wei WuXian and started walking towards the exit, to which Wei Wuxian immediately followed.

“Aw, don't be like that. Hang out with an old friend for a while!”

“I have class.” Lan Wangji said curtly.

“What is it? I could come with.”

“Philosophy,” At the mention of the subject, Wei Wuxian made a gagging noise. Out of all the classes Lan Wangji could take, he chose Wei Wuxian’s least favorite.

“Too bad I can’t join you, but we'll see each other soon!” Sensing a crack in Lan Wangji's defenses, Wei Wuxian patted his back before running past him, not daring to look at his reaction.

°°°

Jiang Cheng was waiting for Wei Wuxian in their room in Lotus Pier.

“So you went to Cloud Recesses this afternoon.”

His arms are crossed, foot tapping impatiently, just like a mother clearly waiting for her meandering son to mess up while in interrogation.

“How did you know?” Wei Wuxian was sure no one saw him but Lan Wangji while he was in the Cloud Recesses. It was the middle of classes, so only a few students were wandering around.

“Lan Xichen told me.”

Wei Wuxian was visibly stunned. “Seriously? What doesn't he tell you? How does he even know that? Isn’t he away for like, a week?” Lan Xichen was currently attending a philosophy conference for his graduate studies. Wei Wuxian still didn’t understand what they do there. Do they sell Aristotle and Kant merchandise while discussing the trolley problem?

Jiang Cheng waved a hand in dismissal instead of gracing Wei Wuxian an answer. “I told you not to bother Lan Zhan anymore.”

“In my defense, he just happened to be there! I was looking for Lan Sizhui.” Wei Wuxian crossed his arms, clearly offended by the lack of faith his brother has with him.

Jiang Cheng raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “So, did you find Lan Sizhui?”

Wei Wuxian hesitated. “Uh. No…”

“See? You’re an idiot.” Jiang Cheng scoffed.

“What's it with you anyway?” Wei Wuxian raised a brow in suspicion. “Are you secretly in love with Lan Zhan?”

It was Jiang Cheng’s turn to balk. “Definitely not! That guy has a stick up his ass.”

Wei Wuxian smirked at Jiang Cheng’s choice of words. If there’s any guy that has a stick up his ass then that would be you, he badly wanted to say, but he didn't have his answers yet, so he kept his mouth shut. “Then what’s the matter?”

“You really don't know?” Jiang Cheng prodded him, and when Wei Wuxian didn't give him the expression he's expecting, one that showed any kind of recollection, he sighed. Giving up, he rolled his eyes and exclaimed.

“You bullied him in middle school!”

“...What?”

As if on cue, memories started crashing on him like a tidal wave, and Wei Wuxian couldn’t believe the sheer volume of those horrible things he had done to Lan Wangji, things that were meticulously locked away until Jiang Cheng forced him to remember. His own words started to falter from his lips, “I–I did not!”

“You did!” Jiang Cheng pointed an accusing finger at him. “You cut his hair when we're on 6th grade!”

“It turned out cute!”

“You gave him bangs!” Then as if on a roll, Jiang Cheng started to count off Wei Wuxian’s deeds during their childhood.

“You kept doodling on his chair, hid his gym shorts numerous times. You started to challenge him into fights at seventh grade, and put chocolates in his bag–”

“The last one wasn't so bad–”

“Unwrapped chocolates. It was summer.”

“...Oh.” Wei Wuxian vaguely remembered that day. His excuse was the chocolates were a late Valentine’s gift.

“There's not a day that went by without you torturing him,” Jiang Cheng continued, driving another nail to his coffin.

“Hey! I’m not that–”

“Had it not occurred to you that you might be the reason why he transferred away?”

Well, that was new.

With a sigh, Wei Wuxian finally let go of the matter. He might have done something (okay, a lot) wrong when they were children, but nothing a sorry couldn't fix, right? Lan Wangji’s hair looked smooth and perfect now anyway. “Okay, okay. Let’s say I really did bully him, then I’ll go and apologize.”

Jiang Cheng gave him the narrow eyes, clearly not impressed. “I doubt you will.”

Wei Wuxian frowned at his brother. “Did Lan Xichen sign you up to stop me?” Lan Xichen wouldn't hurt a fly, but his smile looked scheming sometimes. He still doubted Lan Xichen was the saint everyone thought he was. But then again he’s Jiang Cheng’s boyfriend, so he must have been a monk with a masochistic streak.

“I’m not saying anything,” Jiang Cheng said, which ironically, actually said a lot.

Wei Wuxian tutted accussingly. “Dating Lan Xichen made you soft.”

“I’m not soft you piece of shit–”

Wei Wuxian cut him off by calling him in a sing-song voice, “Jiang Cheng the maiden~ Who only listens to his prince charming Lan Xichen~” By the time he finished his song, he was running towards the exit of the house.

Jiang Cheng ended up chasing him up to the field, Wei Wuxian cackling yet clearly out of breath, where they were tackled by the football team just to intervene the two brothers from sending each other to the hospital yet again.

The second time Wei Wuxian saw Lan Wangji was the latter conversing with Wen Ning.

“Lan Zhan! Wen Ning!” He merrily made his way to the two, squeezing himself between them. Wei Wuxian befriended Wen Ning two years ago, who was watching an archery practice from a distance. Joining the tryouts with him, Wei Wuxian was pleasantly surprised when his new friend with a soft smile and quiet voice had sharp eyes good for shooting targets at a distance. And it wasn't long before Wen Ning was the leading archer of the team.

“Didn't think I’d see you two together. Where are you going?” Wei Wuxian asked.

Wen Ning smiled at the sight of his always enthusiastic friend. “Ah, Lan Zhan wanted to join the club. We’re on our way there.”

“Archery? Then I wanna join, too!” Wei Wuxian slung an arm around Wen Ning’s shoulders, mostly excited about his own decision. After the tryouts, Wei Wuxian never attended any practice, and he was ultimately kicked out of the team. He just joined because Wen Ning needed his help at that time, so it didn’t matter. But since Lan Wangji was planning to join, maybe he could give archery a second chance.

Wen Ning couldn't hide his surprise at the sudden announcement. “Eh? R-really?”

“Why not? I need some exercise, anyway. And Lan Zhan seems eager to join.”

Just then, Wei Wuxian caught Lan Wangji watching his arm around Wen Ning with murderous intent. Wen Ning must have sensed this, since he was discreetly moving Wei Wuxian’s arm away from him.

Wei Wuxian refused to budge his arm, making Wen Ning huff in struggle. When Lan Wangji looked at him in the eye, Wei Wuxian provoked him. “What? You don't even like seeing physical affection? Don't worry. I will never touch you, Lan Zhan.” He grinned, and stuck his tongue out.

“Pathetic,” Lan Wangji said, and did nothing but glare, his hands forming into fists. And just as Wen Ning successfully extracted himself from Wei Wuxian’s grip, Lan Wangji sharply turned and walked away, leaving the two behind.

“What’s wrong with him?” Wei Wuxian didn’t mean to make Lan Wangji leave. Make him uncomfortable, sure, but there was no fun in teasing if his target just runs immediately.

Wen Ning laughed sheepishly, a hand covering his mouth, clearly amused at Wei Wuxian’s question. “But I didn't think you’d ever join a club, Wei Ying. You said they wore you down.”

“Really? I said that?” Wei Wuxian continued to watch Lan Wangji’s retreating back, noting how his form was graceful as usual. “I don't know, I’m pretty interested right now.”

Despite their little disagreement before they went to the club, Lan Wangji still signed up for the archery team the next day, much to Wei Wuxian’s enjoyment.

By mere coincidence and sheer luck, Wei Wuxian was paired up with Lan Wangji in their chemistry class. It was a pretty good combination, Wei Wuxian insisted, as Lan Wangji could do all the paperwork while he could do all the practical lab. The workload was unfair, but he had yet to hear Lan Wangji complain, so he just let it be.

During off-class hours, their exchange mainly consisted of Wei Wuxian chatting away and Lan Wangji ignoring him most of the time.

“Why can't everything just be hands-on instead?” Wei Wuxian complained as he stretched his arms while walking out of the classroom. He was never good with staying still, which supposed was bad, considering that he was a student who has to do a lot of sitting down for classes.

“You have to learn the theory to understand it.” Lan Wangji said.

Wei Wuxian knocked on his head. “I’ve got the theory covered.”

Lan Wangji looked at him briefly, before staring straight ahead. “Good for you.”

Wei Wuxian whipped his head to look at him. That was a snarky remark if he heard one. “Ohhh I didn’t expect to hear than tone from you, Lan Zhan. You changed, huh?”

“Unlike you.”

Wei Wuxian laughed, Lan Wangji was on fire today! “Hahaha that’s a funny one. But I’ve changed! See? I’m just a few centimeters shorter than you now,” Wei Wuxian moved closer to compare their heights better, which predictably made Lan Wangji move away.

Wei Wuxian pouted, a bit offended at Lan Wangji’s reaction. “I’m not gonna bite you or anything!”

Lan Wangji raised an eyebrow, and Wei Wuxian’s mind was brought to a time where they actually bit each other during one of their brawls.

“I’m not a kid anymore, really! I just want us to be friends. Scout’s honor,” Wei Wuxian said, holding up three fingers in promise. What surprised him, however, was he genuinely meant it. Lan Wangji was undoubtedly intriguing, as displayed in their previous banter. And despite some serious arguments, Wei Wuxian could honestly say he was enjoying Lan Wangji's company.

At Wei Wuxian’s words, Lan Wangji stopped in his tracks, and faced him.

“You mean it?” Lan Wangji asked.

Wei Wuxian nodded earnestly.

“Mark your words,” Lan Wangji announced before walking again, a laughing Wei Wuxian trailing behind him.

Ten years ago

Wei Wuxian was playing with marbles at the school yard, waiting for Jiang Cheng to finish up his cleaning duties, when Jin Zixuan and his friends approached him.

“Move. You’re in the way.” Wei Wuxian looked up to where he was squatting and saw Jin Zixuan hovering above him. He must be proud at that moment. Even if Jin Zixuan was two grades higher than Wei Wuxian, they were still almost the same height.

Wei Wuxian went back to playing. “It’s a big field, you move.”

“You’re not allowed here since you’re adopted.” Jin Zixuan said haughtily, turning his nose up. Wei Wuxian never understood why Jin Zixuan always singled him out, but he really didn’t care. And he wanted to avoid inconveniences for Jiang Fengmian, so he always do what he was told.

But this was the third time Jin Zixuan brought up the adopted card, and it’s getting boring fast. “So what if I’m adopted? At least I’m not just a little boy who only looks cute to look at and is only good at dress up.”

Jin Zixuan must have expected his reply, since he was all ready for a comeback. “At least I’m good to look at. Unlike your sister who is just plain-looking.”

Immediately seeing red, Wei Wuxian sprang up on his feet and pulled Jin Zixuan by his collar. No one should dare talk to his sister like that. “Take that back.”

Jin Zixuan only smirked at him, defiant. “Never.”

With a scream, Wei Wuxian punched Jin Zixuan on the face. The two boys started yanking each other’s hair, scratching, kicking, until the two boys became three, then four.

The additional people were all in Jin Zixuan’s team, and they were all bigger and older, and Wei Wuxian was definitely losing.

“Wei Ying!” Someone shouted from behind. He didn't know whose voice it was, but it was definitely of a child’s. At least he wouldn't be going to the principal’s office yet. Wei Wuxian still wasn't done beating Jin Zixuan up.

There was another scream, and he saw one of Jin Zixuan’s lackey falling on the ground near them, unable to stand up. Towering above the lackey was Lan Wangji, who was dealing with the others one by one.

Everything went by so fast, and before he knew it, Lan Wangji was peeling Jin Zixuan off Wei Wuxian.

Jin Zixuan and his friends got up and retreated quickly. Lan Wangji was the principal’s nephew, and it would be only a matter of time before the adults get wind of this.

With a concerned voice, Lan Wangji asked, “Are you okay?” The boy offered a hand for Wei Wuxian who was lying flat on the ground.

Instead of taking his hand, Wei Wuxian slapped it aside. He was mad at Lan Wangji for interfering, and because Lan Wangji would definitely tell this incident to the teachers. He didn't want to trouble Uncle Jiang and Aunt Yu again.

With difficulty, Wei Wuxian managed to get up on his own. “Go away! This is none of your business!” He shoved Lan Wangji out of his way and ran as fast as he could.

That was a weird dream.

Wei Wuxian was never plagued with dreams of the past, and was clearly disoriented when he woke up. He wasn't sure if he winced at the sudden headache, or with how his dream had ended.

He felt bad for treating Lan Wangji that way, but he was an angry kid, and pride was everything he had.

After that incident, instead of just thanking him, Wei Wuxian started to torment Lan Wangji. He bullied him until Lan Wangji avoided him, and continued to do so even until then. He could only remember bits and pieces, but he knew he was harsh.

In the end, he just didn't want Lan Wangji to pity him because of his situation.

Wei Wuxian was adopted by Jiang Fengmian at six years old.

Living with the Jiang family was more than he could hope for. Jiang Yanli was the best sister hands down, and Jiang Cheng became both his brother and his best friend. But there was always a strain between them that he couldn’t mend no matter what.

Yu Ziyuan never liked him. He never took it against her, he understood that it must be painful to be reminded that her husband loved someone else, and that someone has her child living under their roof. Yu Ziyuan never physically hurt him, but her words sometimes stung. Wei Wuxian learned not to take it to heart, but his heart could only handle few lies at a time.

It got better when he left for college. Maybe Aunt Yu was beginning to see him as a proper adult, not just a shadow of his mother. But it was probably because she didn't have to see him everyday.

Wei Wuxian slapped his cheeks, stopping himself from drowning into the whirlpool of his own thoughts, and got up to start his day.

°°°

Lan Wangji was in the study hall with Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, and Jin Ling.

When Lan Wangji saw him, he quietly scooted over to allow Wei Wuxian to sit beside him. He was deeply touched. The peace treaty (as Wei Wuxian liked to call it) between them had been working quite well. Lan Wangji was easily accepted in their circle, regardless of his rigid personality and icy cold stare. Everything probably went more smoothly because Lan Xichen was there to be his younger brother’s personal interpreter.

“What are you doing?” Wei Wuxian asked, peering through Jin Ling’s notes in front of him.

Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Jin Ling harshly pointed at the sign near the door that clearly said ‘Study Hall’.

Wei Wuxian flicked Jin Ling’s nose. “Hey, respect your elders. I’ll tell Jiang Cheng you're not studying.”

“That’s not fair!” Jin Ling exclaimed, before shutting his lips tight as someone hushed him. He was still glaring at Wei Wuxian when Lan Sizhui intervened.

“We’re studying for our biology exam tomorrow,” Lan Sizhui politely supplied.

“And Senior Lan is helping us.” Lan Jingyi added. “You’ve taken this class, didn't you?”

Wei Wuxian nodded. “Yup. On my freshman year, too.” Then, he smirked. “I got the highest grade that year.”

Jin Ling gave him a disbelieving look, but Lan Sizhui spoke up. “Really?”

“Uhuh. Want me to teach you about the birds and the bees?”

“...!!!” Jin Ling started to combust, prompting Lan Sizhui to calm him down, while Lan Jingyi was oddly excited over the prospect of learning about the birds and the bees.

When they finally settled down, and not a lesson on birds and bees on sight, Wei Wuxian started to teach a bewildered Jin Ling seriously. Lan Wangji was assigned to guide Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi since Jin Ling seemed to be afraid of him.

Their three faux students were answering a mock exam when Wei Wuxian caught Lan Wangji staring at him.

Wei Wuxian tilted his head in question. “What is it, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji flipped through the near end of the book and showed the page to Wei Wuxian; it was a few lessons ahead of what would be covered in the exam.

It took Wei Wuxian a few seconds before realizing what Lan Wangji wanted him to do. “Want me to teach you that?”

“Mhm.” Lan Wangji nodded.

Instead of teasing Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian decided to humor him. He had probably reached his ‘Annoying Lan Wangji’ quota for the week.

“Okay. Let’s see…” Wei Wuxian moved closer, sharing the book between them. He recalled only a snippet of the lesson, but maybe he’d remember as they go along.

It must have been some time, since he was starting to feel his eyes getting droopy and his lower back getting numb from sitting too much. Someone cleared their throat, and when Wei Wuxian looked up, he saw Jin Ling eyeing them with disgust.

“Oh my god stop flirting,” Jin Ling said, seemingly offended by such a sweet display that was happening in front of him, which Wei Wuxian still had no idea about.

“What are you talking about?” When Wei Wuxian finally got back his senses, he finally realized what Jin Ling must have meant. His side was flushed against Lan Wangji's, and Wei Wuxian was definitely lying his head against his shoulder; he was apparently on the verge of sleeping.

“We’re not flirting,” Wei Wuxian said in a matter-of-fact tone, before taking a glimpse at the person beside him. Lan Wangji was weirdly silent about it, not that he was weird for being silent since he always was, but he still hadn't pushed Wei Wuxian away. Maybe he was sleepy, too?

“You’re practically sitting on his lap.” Lan Jingyi noted, totally agreeing with his friend.

“This is just how I act to everyone.” Wei Wuxian shrugged, and stretched, finally putting a space between him and Lan Wangji. A sudden chill was in the air, and Lan Sizhui put it upon himself to try to remediate the situation.

“Senior Wei doesn't act like that to anyone. He’s actually more bark than bite,” He smiled earnestly at Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian shot Lan Sizhui an annoyed look, “Why do you have to say that?!”

“Senior Lan might take it the wrong way.” Lan Sizhui laughed sheepishly.

“So what if he misunderstands? Just from my looks, people know that I’m a gentleman,” Wei Wuxian boasted, leaving Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi speechless.

“Well,” Lan Sizhui scratched his cheek, unsure if he could say the next words to his senior, but he did anyway. “You don't necessarily look like a man of virtue, Senior Wei.”

Seven years ago

It was one of the rare days where Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian got along. The two hid under the shade of a tree behind the school’s storage house, resting after putting back the sports equipments for their physical education class.

Wei Wuxian was chattering away as usual, Lan Wangji quiet beside him, when he suddenly produced a small bottle from his bag.

Lan Wangji eyed the object. “What’s that?”

“I don’t know,” Wei Wuxian shrugged, “Alcohol?” He said, before unscrewing the cap and tipping back his head to drink.

Lan Wangji gripped his wrist, stopping him from taking a sip.

Wei Wuxian scowled, “What’s the matter? I’ve tried it before, it’s good.” It wasn’t. It was bitter and it hurt his throat. Why do adults like drinking this cursed liquid?

“You’re underaged. It's prohibited,” Lan Wangji simply said, and snatched the bottle away from his grip.

Wei Wuxian's mood instantly turned sour.

“What good does following rules, anyway?” Wei Wuxian stood up, his eyes never leaving the bottle in Lan Wangji's hand.

“You’re such a hypocrite, Lan Zhan,” He bit out, his hands craving for another fistfight. But punching Lan Wangji was impossible, even more so displeasing, as Lan Wangji only defended. And when he did charge, Wei Wuxian knew he was always holding back.

But with words, with words Wei Wuxian had the upper hand. Lan Wangji never talked, never used his voice to humiliate someone. So words were Wei Wuxian's forte, he used his words to tease, to provoke, to discombobulate, knowing that it would hurt Lan Wangji more.

“Your parents didn't exactly follow the rules, did they? Are you saying your existence is a mistake?”

Before Wei Wuxian had the chance to step back, Lan Wangji was already in his space, grabbing him by the collar, the bottle falling in the ground with a crash. “Shut up,” Lan Wangji growled through clenched jaw.

“And if I don’t? What are you gonna do?” Wei Wuxian sneered, baring his teeth. He knew he was good at this, good at making Lan Wangji lose his composure.

Lan Wangji’s grip tightened, his eyes stone cold, before pushing Wei Wuxian away, letting him go.

Wei Wuxian frowned when Lan Wangji started walking away. “That’s it?” He grabbed Lan Wangji’s elbow, forcing the other boy to look at him. “Don’t be such a coward, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji jerked his arm away, his temper finally showing. “Stop this, Wei Ying!”

“Stop?” Wei Wuxian repeated, his voice incredulous. “You want me to stop?” He harshly jabbed his finger at Lan Wangji’s chest. “Why don't you try stopping yourself?”

Wei Wuxian was enraged, ashamed, and so viciously disappointed that the world blurred at the edges and narrowed down to Lan Wangji.

“Stop acting perfect all the damn time!” Wei Wuxian demanded, pushing the other boy. How could Lan Wangji be so honest? How could he follow the rules without rebelling? Without feeling frustrated?

Wei Wuxian hated him. Lan Wangji was just supposed to be someone like him, an orphan with a dead mother who had a complicated reputation. But why weren't they the same?

He hated Lan Wangji, that's what Wei Wuxian kept on saying to himself. But the truth was Wei Wuxian just envied him. He couldn't control his emotions, unlike Lan Wangji. He couldn't keep his frustrations at bay, his self-pity clawing his insides every damn moment.

“Stop looking down on me!” Wei Wuxian shouted, desperate and almost pleading, and he didn't like hearing it from himself.

“Wei Ying–” Lan Wangji attempted to move closer, but Wei Wuxian flinched back.

“No!” Wei Wuxian yelled, just spouting nonsense, anything that could halt the silence that was bound to happen between them. “You can't make me do anything! Who are you to me anyway? Go away!”

And just like before, Wei Wuxian ran, leaving Lan Wangji alone.

The next morning, their homeroom teacher announced that Lan Wangji left for China to take his secondary education. The news fell on deaf ears as Wei Wuxian diverted his attention away from the class.

Lan Wangji was long gone, out of the school, on his way to the other side of the world, and Wei Wuxian was left to lick his own wounds, and to heal his sore throat from screaming too much.

Wei Wuxian really should stop having those dreams.

He had always directed his anger at Lan Wangji, but Lan Wangji never fought back, not truly in a way that satisfied Wei Wuxian, which angered him even more.

They could have been friends, but Wei Wuxian needed to vent his frustrations on someone, and it manifested as bullying Lan Wangji.

And now his dreams were reminding him how awful he was to Lan Wangji in the past, implying that Wei Wuxian should just stop bothering him.

Maybe he should have done that. Maybe Wei Wuxian could just say a sincere apology and promise not to talk to him again, and it would be for the best. But he didn't want that. Instead, Wei Wuxian asked in a roundabout way if he could have a second chance at being friends, and Lan Wangji readily accepted.

Wei Wuxian could tell that he was doing pretty good, bordering great, actually. His interaction with Lan Wangji was civil most of the time, save for his usual teasing where Lan Wangji would end up shooting daggers at him.

But there's always that feeling inside him that wanted to mess with Lan Wangji and play with him until his brows furrowed and his scowl deepened, and he would manhandle Wei Wuxian out of anger, pinning him down, his fingers bruising Wei Wuxian’s hips…

What the fuck.

Shaking his head, he got rid of his thoughts. There was only one way to stop this madness

°°°

“I heard you've been getting along with Lan Zhan swimmingly for the past few months.” Jiang Cheng casually mentioned over breakfast, the two of them alone in the dining room.

Since when did Jiang Cheng initiate small talks? “Lan Xichen told you this?” Wei Wuxian asked, already suspicious.

“Jin Ling.”

“Really? How many people do you have on me?” Wei Wuxian demanded, to which Jiang Cheng just jeered at.

“Don't flatter yourself, I’m not spying on you.”

Sighing, Wei Wuxian took a seat opposite his brother. He might as well talk, since they're in the topic of Lan Wangji anyway. “So, I have a problem.”

Jiang Cheng looked at him, and snorted. “And you seriously came to me?”

“Wen Ning has an exam coming up, I can't bother him.”

Jiang Cheng squinted at him. “...So I was just your second choice?”

Wei Wuxian threw him an exasperated look. “God, there’s no pleasing you!” He dramatically lay his head on the table, before continuing.

“Anyway, I can't stop having those dreams when I was being mean to Lan Zhan.”

“And?”

“I’m such an asshole!”

Jiang Cheng went silent for a while. Wei Wuxian thought his brother was considering his words, but Jiang Cheng was just busy setting the plates. “Now that we’ve established that you’re an asshole ever since you were born, what do you want me to do?”

“Help me un-asshole myself for my sanity!” Wei Wuxian said, voice already sounding defeated.

Jiang Cheng shrugged, “I don't know. You're a lost cause,” He said, before serving himself a lotus pork rib soup. Jiang Yanli just visited the two, and made sure they have plenty of food to eat for the week. Currently, the dining table in Lotus Pier was covered with Chinese dishes and a breakfast pile. God bless their sister.

Wei Wuxian looked at him, disbelieving that Jiang Cheng was choosing his stomach over helping his miserable older brother. “Jin Zixuan managed to stop being an asshole, now he’s just a pompous jerk. It means I can do it, too!”

Jiang Cheng pointed his spoon at Wei Wuxian. “He just stopped being an asshole when he started dating our sister. You need to find someone like jiejie.”

“But there’s no one like our jiejie!” Wei Wuxian wailed.

“Damn right, she's unique and perfect,” Jiang Cheng drank some soup, before continuing. “Why does it even matter? You survived nineteen years of your life acting that way, why the sudden change?”

“I want to stop being a jerk to Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, poking the pastries in front of him. More than the dreams annoying him, he was terribly remorseful for the past. “He looks angrier than he was when we were kids. He still definitely hates me.”

“That’s rough, buddy.” Jiang Cheng said between bites of meat. When Wei Wuxian was about to throw a cookie at him, Jiang Cheng raised his hand.

“Don't bother. And I don't think it’s about you, anyway.”

Wei Wuxian gave him a blank look. “What? What does that mean?”

Jiang Cheng showed a little hesitation, holding his breath for a moment, before telling him. “He was dumped by someone during middle school.”

Wei Wuxian immediately bolted up from his seat. “Holy shit. Who dumped him?” He couldn't recall most of what happened in middle school, but he doubted he would ever forget if he saw Lan Wangji giving the heart eyes to someone.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “Dunno. But Lan Xichen said his brother still isn't over that person.”

“But isn't he just thirteen at that time? I could get over from being rejected in just a day.” In truth, Wei Wuxian never genuinely experienced being in love before. Sure, flirting was second nature to him, but nothing always came out of it. Falling in love sounded too troublesome and constricting for someone like Wei Wuxian.

He couldn't believe Lan Wangji fell in love with someone before he did.

“Woah. I didn’t think he was such a romantic,” Wei Wuxian slumped back to his chair, still reeling from the news he just found out.

“I don't think it's romantic. What's so romantic about not being able to let someone go?” Jiang Cheng asked, and Wei Wuxian wondered if Lan Xichen dumped Jiang Cheng, what would his brother do?

Wei Wuxian whined a bit more. “That still doesn't change the fact that I want to be a better human being! Please help your favorite brother.”

“You’re my only brother.” But Jiang Cheng didn't deny the favorite part, so Wei Wuxian counted it as a win.

Wei Wuxian was waiting for Jiang Cheng by the campus’ gates when he was greeted by a smiling Lan Xichen instead.

“Jiang Cheng said to go ahead and help you,” Lan Xichen explained, “You’re buying party supplies, right?”

“Uhuh. Thanks. Where’s Jiang Cheng, anyway?” Wei Wuxian asked between puffs of breath against his hands. It was already midway of October, and even if the cold was mostly tolerable, the occasional gusts of wind brought chills to his body.

Lan Xichen started walking to the parking lot, Wei Wuxian following suit. “He’s helping Jin Ling with his exams tomorrow.”

Wei Wuxian nearly forgot about midterms coming up. Only first years truly care about those anymore, he laughed to himself. “Jin Ling’s probably crying already hahaha.”

“I hope not,” Lan Xichen chuckled.

The trip to the supermarket was more than bearable. Their families have known each other for a long time, and before Lan Xichen became Jiang Cheng’s boyfriend, he was their friend.

They also saw each other a lot when Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji ended up in the principal’s office after a fight. So.

Still, Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure if this was part of Jiang Cheng’s plan to help him. But getting to Lan Xichen’s good graces wasn’t such a bad idea.

“Is this brand okay?” Lan Xichen showed him a Bacardi 151 bottle. The two bravely traversed the alcohol shelves first, since a good party mostly revolved around those drinks.

“Yes. Definitely,” Wei Wuxian grabbed the bottle from him and set it on the trolley. They were shopping for their annual Halloween party. It became a yearly tradition to celebrate Halloween at the Lotus Pier house, one of the reasons was because it coincided with Wei Wuxian’s birthday, but mostly it’s because the Cloud Recesses couldn’t handle college parties and the residents were a bunch of boring hosts.

Lan Xichen was currently looking through a shopping list that was probably given by Jiang Cheng when Wei Wuxian interrupted him.

“Does Lan Zhan hate me?”

Lan Xichen tilted his head, considering Wei Wuxian for a moment before answering, “No. I don't think so.”

“Did he hate me, then? Before,” Wei Wuxian hoped to not elaborate further. Lan Xichen must have understood this, because he just shook his head.

“No, Lan Zhan never hated you.”

Wei Wuxian pushed the cart forward, mindlessly looking through the rows of alcohol as he pondered over what to say. “I won't hold it against him if he did. I’ve done a lot of terrible things to him in the past.” And he still couldn't shake off those thoughts away.

Lan Xichen hummed before responding. “Yes, you did.”

“Yikes.” Wei Wuxian hid his hurt and embarrassment by chuckling. Hearing it from someone else, someone who loves Lan Wangji, made it more painful and real, and he felt guilt gnawing his insides as he tried to come up with an eligible reply.

“But he doesn't hold it against you,” Lan Xichen continued instead, giving him a comforting smile. “He understands you, Wei Ying. More than you understand him, for sure.”

And who could even understand Wei Wuxian when he didn't even understand himself?

Wei Wuxian tried to desperately change the subject without being too obvious. So he asked something that's been weighing in his mind.

“I heard from Jiang Cheng that Lan Zhan is in love with someone.”

That earned him a look from Lan Xichen, something he couldn't quite place. It just occurred to him that Jiang Cheng must have said that in strict confidence, not expecting Wei Wuxian to ask his boyfriend about it. Wei Wuxian mentally cursed himself, he might have put his brother in trouble.

But Lan Xichen just smiled again, before confirming. “Mhm. He’s still pursuing that person.”

“What?” Wei Wuxian blinked in surprise. “After all these years?”

“My brother's absolutely stubborn,” Lan Xichen answered, shaking his head with fondness. “The last time they saw each other was five years ago, I think. Lan Wangji never gave up until they met again this year.”

Wei Wuxian must have seen this person then. “So does he regularly meet with her?”

“A him, actually. And yes, they do meet often. ”

“Lan Zhan’s in love with a guy?” He couldn't wrap his mind around it, nor did he actually want to. Lan Wangji was carrying a torch for a guy for almost a decade. It didn't sit very well with him.

He’s definitely not a homophobic. He has a gay brother, whose boyfriend he's currently hanging out with, and Wei Wuxian considered himself to appreciate anyone's appeal, regardless of gender. Not that he needed any reason not to be homophobic.

Maybe just the thought of Lan Wangji not being straight or asexual didn’t really occur to him.

“That’s it,” Wei Wuxian thought aloud, and Lan Xichen gave him a questioning look.

“I can't even imagine what kind of person Lan Wangji fell in love with,” Wei Wuxian admitted. But he didn't dare to ask for more, afraid what answer Lan Xichen would give him. What was he afraid of, he wasn't entirely sure, but he felt his stomach being tied in knots, and it almost felt painful and definitely unpleasant, just trying to imagine the person that probably had Lan Wangji on his knees.

Lan Xichen eyed him for a moment, then said, “That person always made Lan Wangji sad, but he was also the only person that made Lan Wangji truly happy.”

Wei Wuxian considered his words, then wrinkled his nose. “That person sounds like a douchebag.” And sounded someone hard to compete with, he thought. Wei Wuxian had only made Lan Wangji miserable, nothing more and nothing less.

Lan Xichen just laughed.

Wei Wuxian started to see Lan Wangji in a different light.

Instead of just taking Lan Wangji’s icy cold demeanor as it is, Wei Wuxian tried to study what it actually meant. He was not an expert like Lan Xichen, but the keyword was ‘try’. It wasn't hard, Wei Wuxian supposed, when he was already aware that Lan Wangji's withdrawn and rigid temperament wasn't coming from being prideful or egoistic, but because of the rules Lan Wangji had set on himself. The creases between his brows were often of worry and not of anger, and the scowl… well, the scowl could be a mix of anger and disappointment (oftentimes directed at Wei Wuxian).

Lan Wangji was adept at teaching. Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi always sought for his opinions, no matter what class they were taking. And it only took a bit of time until Jin Ling was also looking up to him.

Lan Wangji was always attentive to the people around him. He was not a busybody, but he listened to everyone, only speaking when it mattered.

After every archery session, Wei Wuxian would find a cloud-patterned towel inside his wooden cubby. He had kept on complaining before that he didn't have a towel, so Wen Ning had to give him his spare. In the end, Wei Wuxian had to confront Lan Wangji that he didn't need to give Wei Wuxian a fresh towel every time, since he could just wash the towel Lan Wangji gave him before (which Wei Wuxian predictably forgets to bring more often than not).

Lan Wangji always accompanied Wei Wuxian during his spontaneous quests around the city, searching for the spiciest dish restaurants could offer. Jiang Cheng never indulged him, while Wen Ning and the three first years were too terrified to touch anything spicy.

He must be getting presumptuous, Wei Wuxian thought, whenever he caught himself thinking that Lan Wangji was being specially considerate to him.

Without meaning to, Wei Wuxian found himself staring at Lan Wangji a lot. It still surprised him that the man had loved someone for almost a decade. Lan Wangji had belonged to someone else for a long time.

But something was bugging Wei Wuxian. A particular something wrapped around Lan Wangji's left wrist. A bead bracelet, to be exact. It was a mix of hematite and lava stones, with a few faded red wooden beads in between. Wei Wuxian had yet to see Lan Wangji remove it from his person.

The bracelet should have been nothing special, honestly. Lan Wangji was allowed to wear accessories. Even if he always looked emotionally constipated, Lan Wangji was considered to be a very fashionable university student, one whom the campus’ photojournalists have bravely asked if they could take his photo. But that was the problem. Since Lan Wangji was fashionable, he should know that the thing on his wrist didn't usually go together with his clothes.

And Wei Wuxian had an inkling that he gave it to Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji’s someone, or whoever that person was.

(That was his main reason why that bracelet had been bugging him.)

Still, Wei Wuxian couldn't help but look and observe. For someone as silent as Lan Wangji, his actions should have spoken volumes, yet they were often misunderstood. And it took ten years for Wei Wuxian to figure that out, and presumably a few more to really master the art of Lan Wangji.

So the one time Lan Wangji caught him staring, Wei Wuxian tried to play it cool.

“You’re really kind, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, which he sincerely meant. But Lan Wangji’s honey-colored eyes were piercing right through Wei Wuxian and he felt his face heating up with this unintentional staredown.

Lan Wangji had started to stir up a feeling deep within his stomach that made him nauseous in the best kind of way.

Ignoring the flush of heat that had just made its way up to his cheeks, Wei Wuxian asked, nudging Lan Wangji on the elbow. “Are you going to the Halloween party?”

“I don't know,” Lan Wangji answered truthfully, looking away from where Wei Wuxian was pressed up against him.

Wei Wuxian tugged on his sleeves, all the while grinning. He was no expert like Lan Xichen, but he knew that Lan Wangji was starting to give in.

“Please go, it'll make me really happy.”

Wei Wuxian accidentally hurt his arm during their archery practice. Wen Ning went on a panic mode immediately, and called his sister while crying. Wei Wuxian had assured him that it was nothing, but Wen Ning refused to believe him, until Lan Wangji told him the same thing.

They still didn't know the full extent of his injury, but there was a small gash on his forearm that he got when he mishandled the arrow. They were in the middle of training when Wei Wuxian’s shoulder suddenly cramped, causing him to release the arrow prematurely.

His arm was being cradled by Lan Wangji, who was gently dressing his wound.

“For someone who disliked being touched by others, you don't seem to have a problem touching me,” Wei Wuxian grinned, ignoring the tingling sensation he was feeling whenever Lan Wangji brushed his fingers against his skin.

Lan Wangji squeezed his arm, making Wei Wuxian yelp.

Lan Wangji must not have expected him to react like that, because the concern in his eyes deepened. “Where does it hurt?” It was a silent question, one that Wei Wuxian needed to lean closer to understand, and so he did. He immediately regretted doing it, as he felt Lan Wangji’s warm breath ghosting his face, his scent filling him. He didn't realize they were so close, an inch more and Wei Wuxian could kiss him.

Lan Zhan belonged to someone else.

Fists clenching, Wei Wuxian forced himself to look down, and concentrate on anything that was not Lan Wangji’s lips.

“What's that?” He pointed at the left wrist of Lan Wangji, finally having a chance to ask him about it.

Lan Wangji didn't respond, so Wei Wuxian continued. “Did he give this to you?”

Lan Wangji finally looked at him, his eyes clouded over, “You don’t remember?” He asked.

“Remember what?” Wei Wuxian didn't know what Lan Wangji was going at, and the question thrown at him was confusing. He tried racking his brain for something, but there was no use. Was he supposed to know about the bracelet?

“Let me see it I might remember,” Lan Wangji was already pulling his wrist away when Wei Wuxian yanked his arm, accidentally tearing the bracelet into pieces.

“Shit–” Wei Wuxian cursed, jumping from his seat.

Lan Wangji scrambled to gather the beads, and Wei Wuxian tried to help but he was stopped by Lan Wangji’s voice. “Don’t touch it!” Wei Wuxian flinched, surprised to hear Lan Wangji raise his voice.

He feebly watched as Lan Wangji picked up the beads, his face contorted in a mix of disbelief and shame, which Wei Wuxian didn’t understand.

“Lan Zhan, please tell me,” Wei Wuxian pleaded, hoping that his apologies would also come across.

“You haven't changed at all.” Lan Wangji looked at him with a hurt expression and left, the bandage on his arm already secured and had been taken care of.

“Had it not occurred to you that you might be the reason why he transferred away?”

Jiang Cheng’s words kept ringing in his ears.

Wei Wuxian breathed out. More than the pain in his limbs, he felt something intensely awful and aching in his chest.

“I really fucked up, didn't I?”

It’s his birthday party and Wei Wuxian felt shit.

Feeling shit wasn’t enough to dampen the party mood everyone was in fortunately, so Wei Wuxian was given all the drinks his hands could hold and all the shots his mouth could drink. An hour later, he was already getting woozy– not really drunk, but not entirely sober either. As years went by, Wei Wuxian realized why adults loved drinking alcohol. It’s definitely not because of its taste, but because of how it usually burns your throat, the pain zeroing in on that area, numbing you from other feelings you want to get rid off.

Before the party, Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng helped him get ready in his costume.

“Please stop frowning and moving, Wei Ying. I can’t put on the lipstick properly,” Wen Ning said half-pleadingly as he fussed around Wei Wuxian’s face, trying to find the optimal angle on where to apply the make-up.

“This whole outfit is stupid. Lan Zhan won't even come to the party,” Wei Wuxian gave his skirt a tug, which just sticked to his skin like a cling wrap.

“What's he got to do with your dumb costume?” Jiang Cheng asked, in the middle of putting his own outfit. “And why did you even choose that? It’s a pain to put on.”

Wei Wuxian gave him a withering look. “You’re not even wearing the costume yourself.”

“I did all the work of tying that shit on your front!” Jiang Cheng blurted out, eyeing the corset Wei Wuxian was wearing with disdain.

“Well, thank you for your service, doctor,” Wei Wuxian gave him a mock salute, which predictably earned him the finger.

Wei Wuxian gestured at his brother's costume. “But seriously, you’re all unoriginal,” Jiang Cheng was wearing a white lab coat over a button-down, and a matching stethoscopes he borrowed from Wen Qing. Lan Xichen told them earlier he’d be going as a police officer. A doctor and a policeman. Typical. “You should have at least made it sexier. Like a slutty doctor or a foxy policeman.”

“There's nothing sexy about being a doctor or a policeman!”

“Yeah, sure, there's nothing sexy about people who constantly save lives and rescue kittens,” Wei Wuxian said in a condescending tone, rolling his eyes.

“And what’s the point of being a couple if you're not even gonna wear a couple costume??” Wei Wuxian tattled on animatedly, his continuous movement causing Wen Ning to let out a small cry of frustration. “If it were me, I’d definitely wear a couple’s costume.”

Jiang Cheng snickered, “You’re single, though.”

Wei Wuxian glared at him. That was a low blow, bro. “Fuck you.”

Speaking of couple costumes, Wei Wuxian had no idea what Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, and Lan Jingyi were going to wear. Probably something that matched.

“At least Wen Ning is more creative than you!” Wei Wuxian proclaimed, and Wen Ning squirmed at the sudden attention. Their shy friend had his hair down in contrast with his usual neat ponytail. Wen Ning was wearing a long linen tattered shirt, and his body was heavily painted with grayish green make-up, some parts peeling off his skin. His face was expertly covered in black veins and dried wounds, completing his corpse look. He could pass as a timid zombie who probably never ate meat.

“Are you really saying your costume is as good as Wen Ning’s?”

“Of course not,” Wei Wuxian shook his head. “All I’m saying is I’m hotter and more interesting than you,” And he looked pretty hot indeed. Wei Wuxian was wearing a black vinyl skirt that stopped mid-thighs and topped with a laced leather corset. His legs were covered in fishnet stockings, completed with high heel boots. Most of his hair was pulled back in a messy high ponytail, with the rest of the strands in front were down, perfectly framing his face.

Wei Wuxian mostly wore his costume just to get a reaction from Lan Wangji, but that was before he made him angry again, so what's the point now?

He’s still killing it as a dominatrix though, if he could only just get over his sad mood. He couldn't be dominating if he continued to be depressed.

“Does Lan Xichen have handcuffs together with his costume? Can I have it instead?” Wei Wuxian asked eagerly, hoping for a good answer, maybe that could brighten his spirit.

“No,” Jiang Cheng snapped, daring Wei Wuxian to say more.

And of course, Wei Wuxian dared. “Aw. As if you're gonna use it. Are you gonna use it?” He tilted his head in curiosity.

“Fuck no!”

Wei Wuxian successfully obtained the handcuffs in the end.

That was two hours ago. By the time the party started, the Lotus Pier was packed to the brim. Everyone was in high spirits as Wei Wuxian aimlessly wander around, saying mumbled thanks to people who greeted him.

More than drinking, Wei Wuxian wanted someone to talk to. He saw Jiang Cheng sitting on the armrest of the sofa, leaning down, listening intently to the person nursing a bottle of cold tea.

Who brings cold tea in a party?

Wei Wuxian was about to call his brother over when the cold tea finally registered in his mind. The person that was partially blocked by Jiang Cheng was Lan Xichen. And Jiang Cheng was definitely sitting on his lap now, and oh my god they’re making out abort abort abort mission.

On the corner near the kitchen, he found Jin Ling talking to his two friends animatedly, with Lan Sizhui nodding along while Lan Jingyi talking back as enthusiastically.

From where Wei Wuxian was standing, they were likely wearing a mash-up of three blind mice and three musketeers, if the taped whiskers and plastic swords weren't evidence enough. They were probably in an ecstatic mood as they just got out of their midterms exams. Wei Wuxian turned around before they could notice him; he was not that cruel to throw them a moping upperclassman to comfort.

But still, why was everyone pairing up? Wen Ning just disappeared, too. Wei Wuxian needed to get out of this place, quick. The loud thumping of music was doing nothing good to the dull ache throbbing in his head. He was just a drunk and depressed dominatrix who probably needed company.

Despite being the man of the hour, Wei Wuxian knew that his presence wouldn’t be missed. It was Halloween anyway, people were celebrating two things. And college students didn’t actually need things to celebrate to be able to party hard.

Wei Wuxian finally managed to find the front door and bursted out of it, and instead of tumbling down, he found himself on the chest of someone solid, someone who faintly smelled of sandalwood.

“Lan Zhan! What are you doing here?”

Out of all the possible scenarios that could happen, Wei Wuxian didn’t think of Lan Wangji coming to his party. Of course he invited him, but that was before he messed up. He didn’t know if he was happy that Lan Wangji was here, or frustrated because Lan Wangji was here, and Wei Wuxian was drunk and unstable in every sense of the word.

When he didn’t get a response, he continued. “I mean, it’s okay that you’re here! You’re always invited. This is an open invitation, yes. Everyone’s invited. Especially you. Including you.” Wei Wuxian was mentally kicking himself for being illiterate.

When Wei Wuxian was starting to get his bearing back, he finally noticed that Lan Wangji wasn't wearing his signature coat and long sleeves tonight. His usual long coat was switched with a black leather jacket. And under his jacket was a white shirt tucked in black denim jeans, which fit his legs perfectly. His hair was more flowy than usual, and was he wearing eyeliner?

“Is that…?” It took Wei Wuxian a few moments to piece the details together before gasping, his mouth agape. Lan Wangji was wearing a costume!

“Holy shit you're Danny Zuko,” Wei Wuxian finally said, totally engrossed at Lan Wangji’s clothes as he circled around him. He didn’t think Lan Wangji would know about the Grease movie, expecting him to only care about classic literature or appliance manuals. But Grease was already considered a classic film, so maybe it wasn’t that surprising.

“Where did you get your leather jacket? Do you even own one?” Wei Wuxian asked, his hands itching to touch Lan Wangji. To know if the leather was genuine or not, of course.

“Brother said I need to wear a costume to go...” Lan Wangji explained and oh boy, Lan Xichen could be such a bully if he wanted to. But Lan Wangji looked especially hot tonight, so Wei Wuxian silently thanked Lan Xichen in his mind.

Lan Wangji wasn't saying anything else. But his eyes were focused on Wei Wuxian, finally taking his outfit in. Wei Wuxian’s plan to fluster him totally backfired as he became the helpless subject of Lan Wangji's heated gaze. The way he was being ogled at made Wei Wuxian want to tug his skirt down to a more appropriate length. Now that Wei Wuxian had gotten what he had wished for, Lan Wangji seeing him in his costume, he was embarrassed.

Wei Wuxian felt heat pooling in his stomach, and quickly associated it with the amount of alcohol he had drunk tonight, and definitely not because of the man currently standing in front of him.

Thinking back to their last meeting, he tried to make amends. “About last time, I’m so–”

“It’s not your fault.” Lan Wangji cut him, looking apologetic when he shouldn't even be. It was Wei Wuxian's fault for persisting, and destroying something precious to Lan Wangji.

Before he could protest, Lan Wangji shoved something on his chest, pressing it until Wei Wuxian wrapped his hands around it, then he turned to leave.

“Wait! Is this for me?” He looked at the gift, then at Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji stared at him as if he’s an idiot.

“Of course. Duh. You gave it to me,” Wei Wuxian answered himself as he carefully unwrapped the small rectangular package. Inside was a gift set containing eight small bottles of different chili sauces.

“Happy birthday,” He heard Lan Wangji say, then a scuffle of shoes. Wei Wuxian tore his eyes away from the gift and immediately gripped Lan Wangji’s arm. He definitely would get minus points for that, but who’s counting? And he definitely didn’t want to let him leave just yet.

“You remembered,” No, he was not going to cry. Definitely not. Why did Lan Wangji have to be so kind to him? Then he realized something heartachingly better, as his fingers wrapped around Lan Wangji’s jacket, the smooth feel of the leather reminding Wei Wuxian.

Thus he asked, “Did you just wear a costume so that you can give this to me?” Lan Wangji turned away, refusing to meet Wei Wuxian’s insistent stare, and it was enough to answer his question.

So just like any sensible human being who had drank a not so sensible amount of alcohol, there was only one thing to do. He dragged Lan Wangji on the side of the house, until they were partially hidden from snooping eyes. He placed the gift set down the window sill, knowing that no one would be interested in it other than him.

“I want to give you a thank you gift,” He pushed Lan Wangji on the wall, his hands firmly on Lan Wangji’s chest, feeling the man’s heart steadily beating against his palm.

Lan Wangji gave him an alarmed look, but he let himself be dragged along until his back was pressed on the wall. “What are–” Wei Wuxian brought a finger against his lips and hushed him.

“I want to kiss you. Can I?” He dragged his finger along the shape of Lan Wangji’s mouth, noting how warm and soft it was. Wei Wuxian doubted Lan Wangji had already his first kiss, and that tiny detail made him both excited and rueful.

He felt Lan Wangji’s hand grip his wrist tightly, accompanied by the same pained look he always wore whenever his eyes found Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian pushed closer, giving Lan Wangji's lips a tentative lick. It wasn't hard to shove him away, so he compelled himself to think that Lan Wangji must have wanted this, even for just a little bit.

“What are you so afraid of, Lan Zhan? I won’t hurt you. Just think of me as the person you like,”

Then Wei Wuxian was kissing Lan Wangji, and Lan Wangji was kissing him back. Lan Wangji tasted faintly sweet and something uniquely Lan Zhan that Wei Wuxian couldn't pinpoint what. He didn't think Lan Wangji could be enthusiastic like this, passionately kissing him back, his tongue exploring, his mouth sucking and nibbling, until Wei Wuxian couldn't fight back a moan. He wondered how he tasted to Lan Wangji, probably bitter due to the alcohol mixed with the woeful feelings he was trying to contain. Lan Wangji was more intoxicating than all the drinks he had taken before.

But his heart was starting to ache. Wei Wuxian pulled away to breathe, to ignore the burning desire in his chest, to not let emotions get ahead of him. He pulled just enough until their foreheads were barely touching, the air still shared between them.

Licking his lips, he smirked. “You're a great kisser. That person is lucky, why won't you confess? I heard you were already rejected? Don't worry, I’ll comfort you,” He was babbling again, but he made sure to keep Lan Wangji in place. His fingers brushed against his jaw, then traced down along his neck, enjoying the way Lan Wangji’s body shuddered under his touch and his hands pulled Wei Wuxian closer seemingly without direction.

He kissed him again, and he felt Lan Wangji’s touch searing him. This round was more tamed, almost gentle. Lan Wangji was nibbling on his lower lip, before slipping his tongue into Wei Wuxian’s mouth, not needing any coaxing. His fingertips lightly treading across the exposed skin under Wei Wuxian’s corset, and made Wei Wuxian shiver, sucking on Lan Wangji’s mouth for relief.

Ache, want, and a hint of desperation was starting to bubble inside him.

Wei Wuxian tore the kiss, harsher this time, his fingers clenching against Lan Wangji’s shirt.

“Why can't it just be me, Lan Zhan? Why can't you like me? Is it because I’m a bully? I’m annoying? Do I disgust you for liking you?” Words started tumbling out of his mouth. He was getting sober fast, but his heart wouldn't settle down.

“Wei Ying–”

Everything was starting to get coherent. Wei Wuxian liked Lan Wangji, plain and simple, and he couldn't hide it behind his bullshit excuses anymore. And his mouth had said it before his brain could even comprehend. He was such a dumb idiot.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Wei Wuxian interrupted, then put a hand against Lan Wangji’s mouth.

“I’m sorry for making it harder for you. But people can change around 15% for themselves, or for the people they love if they really want to. I really want to change but I’m stupid most of the time. I want you to teach me.”

Lan Wangji removed Wei Wuxian’s hand that was covering his lips. “Did you mean what you said?”

“Yes! Of course I want to change,” Wei Wuxian said with enthusiasm, and an almost pleading look in his face.

“Not that.”

“...?”

Lan Wangji must have realized how lost Wei Wuxian was, so he tried again, “Why do you want me to like you?”

Oh.

Wei Wuxian shook him by the shoulders. “Because I’m in love with you! That’s why I’m trying to seduce you! Don't you get it?” Wei Wuxian finally confessed. He didn't even dare think of it until now that he had said it to the person himself.

Lan Wangji’s face was indescribable, but Wei Wuxian didn't get a chance to decipher what it meant, as his face was suddenly pressed against the crook of Lan Wangji’s neck, strong arms enveloping him in a warm embrace.

“I love you, too,” Wei Wuxian heard him say against his skin, and the world stuttered to a stop.

He could hear a thunderous thud near the distance, and realized it was coming from his chest, as all that existed was Lan Wangji’s quiet breathing, and the wild thump of Wei Wuxian’s heart. As the words registered, the universe shifted back in motion.

“Don’t you like someone else?” Wei Wuxian managed to choke out.

“It was always you,” Lan Wangji answered simply, his nose nuzzling on Wei Wuxian’s neck, just breathing in and out, probably reeling from the confession just like him.

Wei Wuxian threaded his fingers through Lan Wangji’s hair, “I’m the person you're in love with since middle school?” In which Lan Wangji responded by nodding. And that was the plot twist, wasn't it? Wei Wuxian never expected to be the person Lan Wangji was in love with. He was just cruel to Lan Wangji in the past, and undeserving and…

“That person always made Lan Wangji sad, but he was also the only person that made Lan Wangji truly happy.”

Wei Wuxian froze, then gasped, completely dumbfounded. “I’m the douchebag.”

Lan Wangji’s laugh was muffled on his shoulders, the sound vibrating against Wei Wuxian’s skin, but it was definitely the most beautiful thing Wei Wuxian had ever heard in his life.

Now everything made sense, and yet not at all.

Wei Wuxian pulled away, just slightly, until they could see each other’s face– he couldn’t bring himself to pull away entirely, now that he was allowed to touch Lan Wangji as much as he could, “Wait, they said you were rejected. Did I dump you? How?”

“I was not dumped. Just got a delayed answer.”

With those words, Wei Wuxian’s mind transported back to five years ago, on a grassy field under the night sky, of promises and dreams, in a time where something was still wrapped around his own wrist. The bracelet.

“It wasn't a dream,” He realized, and Wei Wuxian remembered.

Wei Wuxian had given Lan Wangji the bead bracelet, that was why he felt strongly about the object. All this time he thought he had just lost it, as he dismissed the event as a dream.

Lan Wangji waited for him for five years, and even longer that.

“Why didn't you just tell me?” He demanded, fully knowing that he didn't have the right to demand anything since he was the one who completely forgot and treated it as something from his imagination.

“I wanted you to mean it, ” Lan Wangji answered, and Wei Wuxian immediately understood. If Lan Wangji told him earlier, he might risk breaking their promise. Lan Wangji didn't want Wei Wuxian to force himself to change out of obligation. He wanted Wei Wuxian to come up with the answer himself.

“You stupid man, you really waited for me,” Wei Wuxian laughed, his heart full and almost bursting, and he was determined not to lose this feeling to anything in the world.

And Lan Wangji started kissing him again, hushing their quiet laughter. The kiss turned into something more, more passionate than the first two, more possessive, and more wildfire that Wei Wuxian had a hard time keeping up. It was deep, hard, and full of tangible and unambiguous intent.

Wei Wuxian gasped as soon as they paused, “You didn’t like me touching you,” He breathed into Lan Wangji's mouth, lips barely touching, never losing contact. “Or were you just shy? I can’t see that now, though.”

Lan Wangji tugged his body closer, so close that Wei Wuxian could feel the bulge in Lan Wangji's jeans pressing against his own erection through his skirt. Wei Wuxian moved, biting back a loud moan, enjoying the experimental friction between them.

Lan Wangji wrapped his hands around Wei Wuxian’s hips, grinding against him. Wei Wuxian's hands continuously pulling him closer and closer, leaning most of his weight to him. Lan Wangji shifted obediently, until his thigh was pressing between Wei Wuxian’s legs, rubbing against him in a careful and purposeful up and down.

The sudden pleasure his groin was subjected to turned Wei Wuxian into jelly, his knees started buckling under him, his hands holding on to Lan Wangji tightly. He felt heat rising to his neck, flustered that he was already this useless just because of a dry hump.

Lan Wangji must have sensed this, as he grabbed his thighs and lifted him from the ground, Wei Wuxian automatically wrapping his legs around his hips. Lan Wangji changed their positions and pinned Wei Wuxian against the wall.

It was a more comfortable position, and definitely more pleasurable as Wei Wuxian started to rub against Lan Wangji, using Lan Wangji’s shoulders to brace his bouncing movements, “So good, so good, Lan Zhan. The real Lan Zhan is definitely better.”

Lan Wangji’s hands settled on his bottom, helping him with the pace, his darkened gaze never leaving Wei Wuxian, as he watched him moan and pant above him.

“I dreamt a lot about you. Fucking me. We can't do it properly now so be patient, okay?” Wei Wuxian murmured against his lips, almost purring.

“No," Lan Wangji said in defiance, bucking his hips sharply, causing Wei Wuxian's breath to hitch. "You promised I can do anything I want.“

And Wei Wuxian remembered that he really did, that night five years ago, and he really should think before opening his mouth.

His mind was immediately pulled away from his thoughts when Lan Wangji rolled his hips. “Ah-! I don't think this was what on my mind at that time,” Wei Wuxian moaned.

Lan Wangji carried him off the wall, their covered hard-ons brushing, and it's taking all of Wei Wuxian’s will not to rut against Lan Wangji. They were walking further from the house, when he heard a loud bang behind him, followed by a creak.

When Wei Wuxian craned his neck to see where they were, Lan Wangji was pushing the door of the old shed. The room was supposed to be locked, and was only opened once a month, then he caught glimpse of how the door was unnaturally hanging from its frame.

“You broke the door,” Wei Wuxian said, jaw dropping.

Lan Wang just hummed in response, and settled Wei Wuxian on top of the table, before taking residence between his spread thighs.

He brought his hand up and threaded his fingers through Lan Wangji's hair, revelling on how soft and smooth it was, and how he could just cradle his hands against it all day.

Lan Wangji caught his lips for another kiss, Wei Wuxian leaning to him, skimming his fingers through Lan Wangji’s hair, mouth wanting and needy on his, hot and wet. And Wei Wuxian wasn't in a hurry, as he enjoyed how Lan Wangji was kissing him, like he was pouring his whole body into it, his whole soul.

When they pulled away, he finally got a better look at Lan Wangji– lips smeared with Wei Wuxian’s lipstick, and an almost unhinged look glistening in his pools of honey.

“Oh my god we're really gonna do it,” Wei Wuxian announced, voice still disbelieving.

Lan Wangji eyed the handcuffs that was half dangling on Wei Wuxian’s skirt and held it in his hand. Wei Wuxian saw him looking at it with mild interest.

“Want to use it, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asked him as a joke, until his hands were suddenly being forced together, and the click of the handcuffs being locked echoed in the room. Even now, he still didn't know when to shut his mouth.

He squirmed and tugged his wrists experimentally, but the cuffs wouldn't budge. Where did Lan Xichen even get this prop?

Lan Wangji’s attention was still at his bound wrists, so Wei Wuxian brought a finger under his chin, guiding Lan Wangji to look at him in the eye.

“After you’ve restrained me, you're just gonna stand there and look?” He asked, intertwining his hands around Lan Wangji's neck, trapping him in. “I don’t think that's how this works,” He gave Lan Wangji a devious smile.

“Come on, you know what to do,” Wei Wuxian urged him. Lan Wangji slowly untied the lace, until the corset fell on the table, leaving Wei Wuxian mostly naked.

“Remove this, too. I don't want it ruined,” He tugged on Lan Wangji’s leather jacket. Maybe Wei Wuxian could ask him to wear it again next time. Lan Wangji easily complied, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it on a nearby chair.

“Can you fault me for bullying you, Lan Zhan? I’ve only wanted your attention.”

“Yours.” Lan Wangji said, placing open-mouthed kisses up against the corner of Wei Wuxian’s mouth, his jawline, the pulse of his neck, and settling just slightly lower, tracing Wei Wuxian collarbone with the swipe of his tongue. That earned him a wanton moan from Wei Wuxian, pulling him closer, demanding for more.

“Are you sure?” Wei Wuxian breathed against Lan Wangji's ear, before running his tongue along the shell. “No matter how clingy I get, you’ll only look at me?” His hands could only do so much because of the restraints, so Wei Wuxian tried to compensate with his mouth, while languidly rolling his hips against Lan Wangji's.

“You always say my name whenever I teased you. That's why I do it,” He confessed, before biting down on Lan Wangji’s ear.

Those words must have snapped something inside Lan Wangji, as he surged back to Wei Wuxian’s lips roughly. They continued to grind against each other in a frenzy, hands exploring, mouths clashing, until Lan Wangji pulled away to trail bites and kisses down Wei Wuxian’s torso, his teeth and tongue leaving a burning trail.

“Lan Zhan–” Wei Wuxian began, but Lan Wangji stayed quiet, until his lips hovered dangerously close to Wei Wuxian’s clothed length. He planted a soft kiss against it, making Wei Wuxian whimper at the contact.

Lan Wangji lifted Wei Wuxian's hips to roll the skirt up, exposing his underwear, before slowly removing the remaining clothing down, until it littered the floor.

“Lan Zhan, stop staring!” Wei Wuxian said in a flustered state, suddenly feeling self-conscious under Lan Wangji's intense gaze. “Do something! Just– ah–!” Wei Wuxian’s mind went black as Lan Wangji took his entire length into his mouth.

He moaned loudly as his cock slides past Lan Wangji’s lips, into the hot wetness of his mouth and over his tongue, sucking and licking.

In a daze, Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, his head bobbing between Wei Wuxian’s legs, Lan Wangji's filthy mouth below doing terrible, wonderful things to him. Lan Wangji had a vice grip on his thighs, which undoubtedly would bruise later on, and he’d love it. Wei Wuxian made a soft needy sound that must have urged Lan Wangji faster, and Wei Wuxian arched his back, barely forcing himself to sit upright.

He yanked Lan Wangji by the hair when he felt himself getting close, a warning that he could stop.

But Lan Wangji refused to, moving faster until Wei Wuxian came undone inside his mouth, until he became a whimpering mess lying on the table. Lan Wangji finally let go of him with an obscene popping noise, looking past into Wei Wuxian’s eyes and licking the remaining come off his lips, as he had seemingly swallowed it all.

Wei Wuxian barely had time to recover when he heard something ripping, and saw Lan Wangji already standing up holding a packet lube.

“Where did you get that?” He watched as Lan Wangji rubbed the lube on his fingers, warming it. Lan Wangji's free hand propped Wei Wuxian’s legs, spreading them apart as he settled between his thighs. The particular position made him flush, his everything was exposed to Lan Wangji, and he was helpless to do anything about it. Not that he would actually do anything about it, if he had the chance.

“Students were handing them outside,” And before Wei Wuxian processed what was happening, fingers larger than his own slid into him, stretching him slowly and wonderfully.

Wei Wuxian gasped and moaned, thrusting back against Lan Wangji’s fingers almost instantly as his finger hit something foreign and surprisingly good.

“Oh my god that's dirty and hot,” Wei Wuxian gasped out, his wrists straining against the cuffs as he writhed, saying everything in his mind, afraid that if he’d stop talking then he’d just end up a mewling mess.

Lan Wangji looked up and smiled at him, slow and seductive, which immediately sent a shot of arousal straight to Wei Wuxian’s groin, making him hard again in seconds.

Lan Wangji’s ministration continued until he managed to get three fingers inside, and a begging Wei Wuxian under him.

“Hurry, hurry. Lan Zhan, please. I need you,” Wei Wuxian pleaded, his hands finding purchase on his own length, as he slowly pumped himself for relief.

Lan Wangji unzipped his pants just far enough to free his straining length, and coated himself with more lube. He positioned himself between Wei Wuxian’s thighs, his fingers digging on Wei Wuxian’s legs as he raised them on his shoulders, keeping him in place. Lan Wangi took his time, rubbing against him before gradually pushing in. It’s excruciatingly slow, and definitely bigger than Wei Wuxian was initially prepared with, as he was filled with every last hot inch of groan inducing hardness. He didn’t know how much time had passed until Lan Wangji was fully sheathed inside him.

Lan Wangji pulled back, his length sliding out of Wei Wuxian’s tightness, and they both hissed.

But he started to push in deep, so deep in Wei Wuxian’s willing heat that he had never felt the white hot flashes going off behind his eyes. A cry erupted from Wei Wuxian, making his body arched up, his legs falling on Lan Wangji’s hips, his muscles clenching around him.

“Holy fuck. Happy birthday to me,” He breathed as Lan Wangji continued to pound in him, the sound of labored breaths and skins slapping echoing in the whole shed.

It occurred to Wei Wuxian that this might not be the safest sex in history, nor the most ideal way to lose his virginity. But then again he was being fucked raw in a dominatrix costume by a Chinese Danny Zuko, so he was having the greatest time of his life.

Wei Wuxian wondered how strong the table was, the quiet rhythmic creak under him not made for this weight, but he realized he didn't need to worry as Lan Wangji was strong enough to fuck him in the air.

“Kiss…” Wei Wuxian reached his restrained hands out, and Lan Wangji lifted him from the table, until he was barely on the table. The new position made Lan Wangji go deeper inside, which earned a cry from Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian kissed him harshly, nails scratching Lan Wangji’s shoulder for purchase. Lan Wangji responded in kind, nibbling on his lips, before pulling away, biting and sucking the sensitive skin on Wei Wuxian’s neck, fully aware how they would stand out for the foreseeable future.

"Faster," The order was hissed out against Lan Wangji's ear, and he had no choice but to oblige. Lan Wangji roughly slammed his strong hips into Wei Wuxian’s pliant body, each new wave of pleasure better than the last one. His nails scraping on Lan Wangji’s back as he try to meet Lan Wangji’s thrusts, his body sweaty and feverish from the movements.

Something good and mind-numbing inside Wei Wuxian was repeatedly plundered almost mercilessly, and the sensation was multiplied tenfold when Lan Wangji moved a hand to his neglected length, rubbing him in time with his thrusts. Wei Wuxian whimpered, feeling another orgasm approaching.

“Wei Ying,” Then Lan Wangji came, filling his insides, murmuring Wei Wuxian's name, over and over into their kisses, breathing it into his mouth, and whispering it in his labored breaths. He continued to move, riding out his orgasm, helping Wei Wuxian to reach completion.

The sudden foreign sensation painting his insides and Lan Wangji’s lust-induced voice were enough for Wei Wuxian to finally tip over.

“Lan Zhan, I– Ah–!” With a cry, Wei Wuxian reached his climax, spilling into Lan Wangji’s hand and on their stomachs, clenching his muscles uncontrollably around Lan Wangji. His screams were drowned out by the music from the outside.

They were finally both spent as Lan Wangji slowly pulled out, and gently settled Wei Wuxian back on the table.

“Wow,” Wei Wuxian said, still breathless. “That was just… wow.”

Lan Wangji hummed in agreement, as they continue to lean on each other, Wei Wuxian’s arms still wrapped around his neck.

They kissed, slow and without any intent, and Wei Wuxian felt himself getting giddy over a simple kiss. A simple kiss that was loaded with so much love and hopeful promises between them, and when Lan Wangji smiled at him, Wei Wuxian knew he was thinking of the same thing.

Five years ago

Wei Wuxian ran away again. He had asked Jiang Fengmian if he could sleepover in a friend's house, as it was always his excuse whenever he didn't want to go home. Jiang Cheng knew about it, as well as Jiang Yanli, but he assured the two that he'd come back the next day. He had always kept his promise, that was why they weren’t hassling him whenever he went out.

There was a grassfield tucked in the center of the forest where he often found himself lying down. It was ever only him there, as the area was secluded, and no one bothered to explore the forest anymore. The quiet was nice and inviting, helping him clear his mind, until the silence lulled him to sleep.

He woke up to find Lan Wangji sitting beside him.

His first reaction was curiosity. Lan Wangji had grown taller the two years he had seen him, but he still looked the same. Their eyes met, and he couldn't look away.

“I must be seeing things.” Wei Wuxian said, mostly to himself. But why Lan Wangji? Was he projecting? Did Wei Wuxian unconsciously want to see him?

This must be a dream.

“I missed you,” He started telling Lan Wangji. This was a dream, after all, he couldn't tell the real Lan Wangji that.

“I missed you, too,” Lan Wangji replied back, and yes, this really might be a self-indulgent dream Wei Wuxian produced himself.

“Really? I mostly missed you because I have no one to annoy anymore. They don't have interesting reactions, unlike you,” Wei Wuxian grinned, and Lan Wangji scowled.

They stayed in comfortable silence for a while, before Wei Wuxian was talking again. He started talking about the school, what happened the two years he was gone, his studies, then the situation in his home.

He ranted and complained, probably talking Lan Wangji’s ear off, but he never complained, like always.

Lan Wangji of his imagination was a good listener, and Wei Wuxian thought the real Lan Wangji was just the same.

Wei Wuxian didn't know how it started, nor how he got to the topic, but his tone became more self-deprecating. He hated it more than anything, but he couldn't stop, not when Lan Wangji was looking at him in concern. So he wondered aloud if someone could like him, someone like him who was mostly fire and burnt edges, but mostly just a confused child.

“I like you,” Lan Wangji confessed, and Wei Wuxian laughed. It was just as exactly what he wanted to hear at that moment. But this was just a dream.

To be fair, his dream self was very creative. He couldn't even imagine Lan Wangji liking him when he was awake. This almost felt real.

“You can't say that,” Wei Wuxian finally said when Lan Wangji continued to stare at him, pain swimming in his eyes. Wei Wuxian must have hurt him when he laughed at his confession. “I’m glad you can say that, Lan Zhan. I can't even like myself,” He explained.

To appease the dream Lan Wangji, and mostly himself, he made a promise. “Give me five years. Until I pull my shit together. Then I’ll be nicer to you. I’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything?” Lan Wangji asked, tilting his head slightly.

“Yes! Everything, everyday, for the rest of our lives. It’s a promise.” Wei Wuxian removed the bracelet that had always sat thin and warm against his skin, and hold Lan Wangji’s hand, wrapping the beads on the boy's wrist. He wanted to give him a memento, a symbol of their promise, even if it's just a dream.

This night was more of a promise to himself. He hoped it would be able to reach the real Lan Wangji too.

“But until then, we can't see each other.”

“Why?” Lan Wangji’s eyebrows furrowed, confused yet demanding.

“Just because,” Wei Wuxian wanted to say with finality, but dream Lan Wangji was just as stubborn as the real Lan Wangji, so he had no choice but to reason out.

“I’m just a kid, Lan Zhan. I’ll hurt you, more than I’ve hurt you in the past. We’ll just get in each other's nerves more,” Wei Wuxian lied down on his back again, his eyes filled up with stars. “I’ll be an adult in five years, and by then maybe we could start again.”

He closed his eyes, sleep pulling him in. And just before he drifted completely, he felt something warm and faint and real brushed against his forehead, then on his lips.

Wei Wuxian opened his eyes a fraction, only to see the night sky towering above him, and nothing else.

“Lan Zhan and I are now dating,” Wei Wuxian was currently sitting on Lan Wangji’s lap, to almost everyone’s annoyance. But Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling were only the really annoyed ones, while the others had varying degrees of acceptance, from ‘finally they're together’ to ‘at least they're not undressing each other in front of us’.

“You don't have to fucking say it every time we’re hanging out,” Jiang Cheng sneered, stabbing his food begrudgingly.

“Just in case someone in the group didn't hear the news,” Wei Wuxian shrugged. Lan Sizhui nearly choked on his salad, and Lan Jingyi had the audacity to laugh. Wen Ning, amidst the chaos in their lunch table, was enjoying his food peacefully.

“Oh everyone has heard the news, all right.” Jin Ling said in disgust.

During the Halloween party, Lan Wangji, still stoic but slightly disheveled, went inside Lotus Pier to find his brother, and asked for the handcuffs’ key. Jiang Cheng paled, and repeatedly said, “No,no,no. Oh my god. I can’t stop the images in my mind,” while Lan Xichen happily gave the key to Lan Wangji, pleased. The old shed had been off limits ever since.

Jiang Cheng involuntarily shuddered at the reminder, and Jin Ling acted like he was about throw up beside him.

“Ugh! Just stop sitting on his lap. You're a grown man!” If it weren't for the distance, Jiang Cheng would have stabbed Wei Wuxian already.

Wei Wuxian stuck his tongue out and pressed himself closer to Lan Wangji, who responded by wrapping a possessive arm around his waist. “You’re just envious. Why don't you ask Lan Xichen?” He smirked.

“You’re always free to sit here, Jiang Cheng.” Lan Xichen patted his lap cheerily and with gusto, clearly enjoying the way Jiang Cheng was combusting at the offer.