Work Text:
To my entire class
From your favorite sensei, Jiraiya
You are to read this paper I have written on the different aspects of the word pain. Pain. I know that everyone in this class has had their own shares and encounters with it. This is one of the reasons I want you each to let those feelings out and tell me how you feel. This paper will give you a good idea about what pain means.
For your assignment I’m having you write about your problems to express how you feel and so that eventually one day you’ll become free from them.
“It hurts!” “It’s okay, honey. The pain will go away soon.” What does hearing that conversation make you think of? Did you think of a little kid scraping his knee, and a mother trying to comfort him? Maybe you thought of someone who just had their heart broken from a failed relationship, and their friend was attempting to comfort them. Of course, these scenarios are quite different from one another as one is a physical situation while the other is an emotional situation. Yet, despite this major difference, these two scenarios have the same key component…pain. Both of them are viable, and either makes sense.
Why is that? They are so different, but yet, they are the same. I think by defining the word “pain” we can figure this out. By looking up the word in the dictionary, you find multiple definitions. For example, the medical field defines pain as an “unpleasant sensation that can range from mild, localized discomfort to agony. Pain has either emotional or physical components.” Psychology defines pain as the “body’s natural reaction to signal damage or potential damage to the body, relayed to the brain through the nervous system.” If you asked someone who survived a tragic event such as losing a loved one, they might define pain as a feeling of “hollow emptiness.” So, the question is, are the various connotations of the word “pain” actually so different?
To understand this, we need to start at the beginning. The word “pain” when traced back to its first use is derived from the Latin word “poena,” meaning a fine or penalty. It was initially used to describe a punishment (hurt for doing something wrong), but over time has changed to mean being hurt in any way. To borrow from the movie The Breakfast Club, I see the word pain “in its simplest terms and in the most convenient definition.” Pain is when something hurts!
Now, we must take this simple definition and break it down even further. What does this “hurt” or infliction of emotional, mental, or physical damage really mean? Metaphorically, pain breeds storm clouds of sadness and suffering, but in the words of a brilliant author, Masashi Kishimoto, “When people get hurt, they learn to hate…when people hurt others, they become hated and racked with guilt, but knowing that pain allows people to be kind, pain allows people to grow…and how you grow is up to you.” In other words, it is not so much that pain is different, but rather what you do with the pain that makes a difference.
What I take from this quote is that pain gives you one of two options. One, you can take your pain and try to hurt others the same way you have been hurt; revenge on the world. Or two, you can use your pain not as a weapon but as a reminder of how you felt and avoid causing anyone to feel the way you felt. What you do with your pain (how you grow) is your choice alone.
Choosing to learn from the pain you have suffered is not as easy as it sounds. Mental pain gets etched into your mind just as physical pain can leave scars on or within your body. Hence, scars are the result of pain. They are the gaping wounds left behind. No matter what we do, these scars linger and sometimes never go away. The presence of scars doesn’t mean that you are weak; it means that you have survived. The treatment of physical and mental scars plays a role in the length and severity of the pain.
For example, if you had a big gash on your arm, it would take longer to heal without medical care. When you try to heal it by yourself, you try to wrap it in bandages to force it back together, while hiding the evidence of getting hurt from the ones around you in an effort to not show weakness and appear strong. However, healing is a big burden to carry alone without support. So in most cases, trying to fix it by yourself can cause further damage and even cause the wound to get infected. It may eventually heal, but it could get even bigger than the wound started out to be. If you do get help, not only from the doctor to stitch it up, but also from those around you who remind you to change your bandages to keep it clean from infection or tell you that it’s okay to take a break and rest your arm, you will heal a lot faster. The scar that was healed with the help of others becomes smaller, and with that, mixed in with the memories of pain, is the memories of those who helped you through it.
The same applies to mental pain and injury. People tend to hide their sadness from others by saying that they will be “fine.” For example, in the movie Big Hero 6, after Tadashi dies, Hiro continuously says that he is “fine.” Obviously, he is not. Losing his brother causes him tremendous pain. He pushes his friends away resulting in more sadness and a feeling of isolation. Only when Baymax forces his way into helping Hiro, does Hiro start to open up again and begin to heal. It is not until almost the end of the movie that Hiro confronts his true emotions and cries. When Hiro shows how he really feels and talks about the loss of his brother, his pain begins to relieve and the healing process finally begins. Hiro takes his pain from the loss of Tadashi and forges it into something to help people. He wants to help people so they don’t have to go what he went through. The pain of a lost loved one is one of the deepest pains of all. Relying on friends and family to provide support, companionship, and stability after a traumatic emotional event will help with the recovery.
It seems that the obvious choice between these is to use your pain as a tool to help others, but it’s not that easy. Choosing to move on past your anger, hatred, and sadness is a thousand times harder than succumbing to the hatred and choosing revenge.
When people choose revenge, they try to defend their acts by calling them closure and justice, but they are not. The focus of revenge creates an illusion of relief from the pain and makes you feel that you are not doing “nothing.” The opposite of revenge is not “nothing,” though. “Nothing” is in between the two choices. The opposite of revenge is forgiveness. There is a teaching from the monks about this, “Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing.” If healing is on the same side as forgiveness, then where does that leave revenge? It means that revenge will make your wound bigger and deeper, hurting you further. Now, not everyone in every situation can forgive, but what you can do is let your anger out, and then let it go.
As I said earlier, the basic definition of pain is to be inflicted with damage emotionally, mentally, or physically. Pain causes struggles and hardships, but life wouldn’t be the same without it. When you experience pain and need help, you get to see who really cares about you and is willing to aid in the burden of your problems and fight right by your side through the hard times. To simplify in a better light, you can imagine life like a piano. The black keys represent pain and sadness, while the white keys show pleasure and happiness. As you go through the “song” of your life, you have to remember that the black keys also help make the music.