Chapter Text
//Kathryn Janeway, age 12. Counseling record, stardate 29352.48
KATHRYN: They insisted on putting me in counseling for this, despite all my protests. So I’ll tell you the short version: I lost a tennis match, missed the ride, so walked 7 kilometers home.
COUNSELOR: What were you feeling at the time?
KATHRYN: Frustrated I suppose. Disappointed in myself.
COUNSELOR: Why were you analyzing the match so much you missed the transport back?
KATHRYN: Erm, I was.. I don’t want to talk about it.
COUNSELOR: That’s fine. What were you thinking when you decided to walk home instead of send a message to your parents, despite the storm?
KATHRYN: It was my fault. I missed the ride, and I was old enough to get home myself.
COUNSELOR: So it was a matter of personal pride?
KATHRYN: Yes I suppose so.
COUNSELOR: Besides the tennis match, what else were you doing that day?
KATHRYN: I was studying physics and nebulae.
COUNSELOR: Was that for school?
KATHRYN: No, ‘course not. Dad told me the Academy entrance exam spends a while on quantum mechanics, and I happen to like astronomy for myself.
COUNSELOR: You’re planning to go to Starfleet Academy?
KATHRYN: Yes. I’ve wanted to forever.
COUNSELOR: How come you were at the tennis match that day?
KATHRYN: It was a school game. I had to be there.
COUNSELOR: Given the choice, would you have gone of your own volition?
KATHRYN: I mean… I probably would have stayed in bed reading and studying, if there were no consequences to my inaction. I mean, the exercise is good for me, so, probably, yeah. I do have a bit of a competitive side.
COUNSELOR: Did you want to be there?
KATHRYN: …yes.
COUNSELOR: That’s all for today.
KATHRYN: Excellent.
***
“Kathryn, you know it doesn’t do you any good to lie to the counselors,” said her father.
“It’s better than the alternative.” Kathryn stared out her window at the stars and the farms.
“You can’t keep hiding things forever.”
“What else am I supposed to do?”
“Tell the truth. If you do decide to join Starfleet, some pretty rough things are going to happen to you. You can’t lie like this.”
“It’s a normal stage in the process, to deny what happened. They won’t expect anything else.”
“You’ve been reading about the subject, haven’t you?”
“What else was I supposed to do going into an unfamiliar situation?” “I never would have expected anything less.” Edward walked up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. It was an action he had taken many times back when he was in command of his own ship. Something for when one of your command crew - your family - was upset. He always thought he would be more intimate with his family, but he suspected that wasn’t what Kathryn needed at the moment. Perhaps later.
She looked over at him. “What if I told you I was testing her responses to lies as a proxy to see how well she was doing her job?”
He met her gaze. “I would remind you about ethical protocols for experiments involving humans.”
She snorted. “Aaand that would be dad, always looking at the regulations. Did you ever even go to one board of inquiry?”
“You know I managed to avoid being summoned. I do regret playing it safe at times… I wonder if I could have done more good in the world if I had trusted my gut. Kathryn, remember the rules exist to stop the bad, not the good; if you have to bend a rule for good, do it. If you have to break a rule to do good, make sure you have justification, but do it. Even if the courts don’t agree with you, you still saved lives. Besides, would you be able to live with yourself if you didn’t?”
“I know. Ethics before law. If I ever do get in trouble following that advice, would you show up at my court martial?”
“Of course. I would show up to watch you get acquitted.”
“Daadddd.”