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Tony had been attracted to Loki from the start, but being on opposite sides, dating Pepper and very little time to get to know one another had meant nothing ever came about from it.
When they were working in close quarters years later, they became friends. When Tony and Pepper broke up, he and Loki started spending more time together. They also flirted, a lot, and shared a few heated glances but never anything more. There was always something in the air the moment they got too close; something hesitant and nervous.
Tony was uncertain about starting something when it was obvious that a purely sexual relationship wasn’t what either of them wanted. What Loki was hesitant about, Tony wasn’t sure, but he assumed it was something similar.
They’d both been hurt too many times and were wary about giving away their hearts.
Tony hadn’t known which of them would break first, or if they’d remain in a holding pattern indefinitely, but he’d been in his lab, tinkering on a suit when Loki visited.
It wasn’t uncommon to see the mage, and Tony had smiled and turned towards him, ready to see if he wanted to work on one of their many projects, but Loki was walking with purpose. He stepped up to Tony and hesitated for a moment before slowly folding his legs beneath him and kneeling. Tony gaped while Loki brought his hands to rest over Tony’s thighs.
“I have not misinterpreted your interest in me,” Loki murmured, holding Tony’s gaze. “Nor have you been oblivious to my interest in you. I would like to pursue that, Anthony Stark.” He rubbed his thumbs against Tony’s jean-clad thighs, but never broke eye-contact. “Do you accept my proposition?”
It was the most formal proposal he’d ever received. It was also one of the hottest. Loki was on his knees; it was smack dab between filthy and romantic and Tony didn’t know which option he liked more.
“Yeah,” he answered, his voice a little rough. “Hell yes, I accept.”
Loki smiled, and while it was genuine there was something odd about it before the expression disappeared and Loki leant up and kissed him. Tony kissed back and brought his hands to Loki’s hair, groaning slightly at finally tasting the mage’s mouth.
That was how their relationship started. It wasn’t for almost a week before they slept together. It was a combination of not having enough time, and enjoying taking it slow. They still spent time together, but it now included kisses and lingering touches. Tony did notice that it never happened when they were in public, but it was a new relationship, he wanted to hoard it to himself as well.
Tony was surprised when they finally reached his bedroom and instead of a discussion or even Loki taking control, the mage was quick to put himself in Tony’s hands. He wanted to bottom. Tony wasn’t unhappy about that, he just hadn’t expected it.
He’d still made sure to give Loki a thorough and pleasurable fucking. They had collapsed on the bed together in the aftermath, panting as they recovered. Tony’s body was tingling with lingering pleasure as he slowly relaxed. It was only because they were still touching that he felt Loki’s tension even before the mage shifted to look at him.
Tony opened his eyes to find Loki watching him closely. The movement of his arm was slow and telegraphed to give Tony plenty of time to move away or outright say no, but he didn’t do either. He let Loki’s arm wrap around his chest and tug him close.
He was rewarded by a small, warm smile as Loki made himself more comfortable, cuddling Tony close. Tony bit down on his own smile as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth and feel of Loki beside him.
Tony fell asleep feeling happy and hopeful about what the future and his relationship with Loki might bring.
In the months that followed very little changed.
Loki remained affectionate, pulling him close immediately after sex in a hug both possessive and clingy. He also spent a lot of time around Tony’s penthouse, kissing and touching him. He was very demonstrative and Tony lapped up the attention.
The thing was, it was only when they were in the penthouse - or sometimes the lab, but only late at night or when Loki knew nobody would be around. Their relationship was still a secret with no signs of Loki wanting it revealed.
Loki also didn’t fuck him, not once. Tony would honestly admit to being stunned by that. He’d really thought topping would be something Loki enjoyed. He’d even pegged Loki for liking a little domination in the bedroom, but there was nothing. He showed no signs of ever wanting to do that with Tony.
Tony wasn’t going to force him. He was a bit disappointed sure, but Tony had always been a switch, and sticking to one side because his lover didn’t like the other was fine with him.
The real thing Tony didn’t like was hiding that they were together. He wanted to take Loki places and have the world know the mage was taken, that they were on a date, but Loki had made it obvious that wasn’t on the cards. Tony really would have thought Loki would want to publically stake his claim, but no such luck.
Tony was hoping that it would change, that Loki just needed time before he was ready to admit it. In the meantime, Tony was enjoying the time he did have with Loki. He liked him, was well on the way to loving him, and it was why Tony wasn’t ready to rock the boat.
If Loki needed time, Tony would give it to him.
At least Loki was starting to stay multiple nights in a row now. He even had a few things in Tony’s rooms. Tony loved days when Loki lingered late into the morning, showing no signs of going anywhere. Sometimes Tony would clear his schedule, just to make sure Loki remained and he could spend all day touching, cuddling, kissing and sleeping with his boyfriend.
Today was one such day.
They’d woken curled up together and although morning sex had sounded like a good idea, Tony was feeling rather disgusting after a long day in the lab followed by sex. He’d compromised by dragging Loki into the shower with him.
It wasn’t their first shower together, and Loki knew his trigger-points and was careful to avoid them. His hands always remained away from Tony’s neck and he also kept an easy escape route open for Tony. They’d reached a point where Loki could rinse Tony’s hair from shampoo and conditioner but only if it was a good day and Tony’s eyes remained open.
Tony was happy for a sensual scrub today, and they were quick to start cleaning each other and running hands and soap over bodies. They also kissed each other, careful to keep Tony’s face away from the spray. It didn’t take long for both of them to get hard, but Loki was the first to do something about it.
They were kissing when Loki’s hand snuck down to wrap around his cock and give it slow, delicious strokes. Tony moaned, turning to putty in Loki’s hands. He also leant his back against the wall, arching forward and spreading his legs. Loki chuckled against the seam of his mouth. His hand didn’t increase its speed but he tightened the pressure.
Tony groaned and tilted back his head. Loki took the opportunity to lick and bite at his neck. Tony was making small hums of pleasure, twitching his hips in time with Loki’s strokes, when suddenly and completely unexpectedly, Tony felt fingers slipping behind his balls to rub at his entrance.
It was so unanticipated that Tony tensed from pure shock. Loki was actually make a move to fuck him?
In response, Loki froze, his entire body going as stiff as a bowstring. He jerked completely away from Tony and when Tony looked at him, Loki was as white as sheet. He looked utterly horrified.
“I’m sorry,” Loki rushed out. He sounded like he’d give anything to take it back.
Tony was really confused, but Loki didn’t give him time to ask before he was dropping to his knees so hard that it must have hurt. Loki gripped the base of Tony’s cock and swallowed him down in one smooth motion that made Tony gasp and cling to his lover.
Loki wasted no time. He sucked him off using all the tricks he knew Tony loved. It was a blinding rush towards his climax. Tony tried to pull him away, to slow him down, but Loki wasn’t listening. Loki swallowed and sucked and let Tony thrust into his mouth as much as he wanted.
Tony had no chance, and he came within minutes.
His lover swallowed everything down and mouthed at him until Tony was soft and over-sensitive. When he pulled back, he didn’t stand up or pull away. Loki shuffled even closer and rested his cheek against Tony’s hip and thigh.
Tony was using the wall for support and still trying to get his brain back online when Loki whispered, “It won’t happen again.”
Blissed out and unsure what Loki was even talking about, Tony mumbled, “Huh?”
He felt Loki hunch, pressing closer to Tony yet also curling in on himself defensively.
“You are the possessor in this relationship,” he spoke so quietly it could barely be heard over the falling water. “I have not forgotten.” His voice became stronger, and more insistent. “I won’t forget, not again.” It dropped to a whisper. “Not again.” Tony felt Loki grit his teeth even as he turned his face even more against Tony. “Allow me another chance, Anthony.”
Tony felt a lot of alarm bells go off in his head as he looked down at Loki. It was the most submissive he had ever seen the mage. Loki was all but curled around him. It was a position of repentance. The water shut off as FRIDAY sensed the change in mood, but neither of them moved.
Tony’s hands had fallen to the side after his orgasm, but he carefully raised one and touched Loki’s hair. Loki slumped even while arching into Tony’s touch. His eyes had closed and he pressed his head towards Tony’s palm in a bid for more affection. He still looked worried, but he also looked hopeful.
Feeling completely out of his depth and entirely unnerved, Tony questioned, “Loki, what are you apologising for?”
Loki’s words came out instantly, as if Tony had given him an order. “Attempting to unman you.” There was small clench to Loki’s jaw, hidden expertly a moment later, but Tony still caught it. “Forgetting my place and position. Forgetting what I am allowed.”
Tony felt dread coil in his stomach and tried not to let it show. He tried to sound calm and gentle as he asked, “Loki, what are relationships between two men like on Asgard?”
Opening his eyes, Loki looked up at him warily. He was still tense against Tony, but he slowly began to answer, painting a very bleak and horrifying picture about not just Asgard, but all of the realms.
When men slept together, the submissive partner was seen as unmanly. There were always of lower rank then the ‘possessor’ and they lost honour by submitting to the practice, especially if they were a warrior. Such relationships were never admitted in public as it was seen as shameful to participate in such behaviour. If it ever did come out by accident or maliciousness, the ‘possessor’ was able to save face by being dominant, but the submissive partner had no such chance.
Loki had automatically assumed Earth was the same, and since every other realm believed that, what would make Earth any different?
It became painfully obvious as Loki explained everything with a flat tone and his eyes averted, that Loki assumed their initial hesitance to start a relationship centred on their both being warriors and ‘princes’. But Loki had wanted to be with Tony, so much so, that he’d willingly taken on the submissive role to be with him.
He’d given up his ‘honour’ and his ‘manhood’ if it meant he had a chance with Tony.
Tony felt sick, he felt horrified and his heart had sunk down to his knees. Guilt was landing thick and heavy on his shoulders as he stared down at his still kneeling lover. There were so many things to say, but one of them was screaming the most. “You... you don’t like being taken?”
Loki’s face spasmed painfully: honesty warring with centuries of discretion and the uncertainty of how Tony would react. Loki was still staring straight ahead, avoiding Tony’s face as he admitted, “I enjoy both.” Tony felt so much relief to hear that, but it didn’t last long, not when Loki clenched his hand into a fist on his thigh before continuing, “When I sought a man to have beneath me, I found one who was not a warrior. When I wished for something else I used a guise so no one would know it was me.”
He reached out then, and tentatively brushed his fingers against Tony’s hand that was pressed against the shower’s stall.
“I made a choice so that I would be able to pursue you.” Loki took Tony’s hand in a hesitant hold. “I do not regret it. What is my honour? You make me happy. You are worth it.” He turned his head and kissed Tony’s skin. He let out a trembling breath in an honest show of his worry. “I swear to you, Anthony.” He tightened his hold on Tony’s hand. “It will not occur again. I will not let it. Trust me. Give me one more chance-”
“It’s not like that on Earth,” Tony interrupted, unable to hear any more of Loki’s apologises. His voice was rough, it felt scrapped raw from emotion. “Fuck, Loki. I didn’t know that was what it was like.”
Loki raised his head, looking confused, and if they were going to keep talking about this, they needed a change of scenery. He encouraged the demi-god up. “Come on,” he murmured. “Let’s sit down on the bed.”
Loki still looked unsure; he also followed along far too passively for Tony’s liking. Loki dried them with a flick of magic and they took a seat on the rumpled bed. They sat opposite each other and to sooth some of Loki’s tension; Tony reached out for and took the mage’s hands.
“Homosexual relationships aren’t like that on Earth, Loki, not for a good few centuries. If you’re a top or a bottom, an, uh, ‘possessor’ or a ‘submissive’, it doesn’t reflect on you as a person. People don’t care. I don’t care.” He squeezed Loki’s hands. He still felt wretched, especially when Loki looked incredulous. “Fuck, I wished we’d talked about this months ago.” He sighed with frustration. “I was hesitant about being in a relationship with you because I was hesitant about being with anyone after Pepper. I liked you, but I didn’t want to fuck things up.”
Loki was looking between Tony’s face and their hands with a heavy frown. “I don’t... understand. What are you implying?”
“I’m saying, you can have me whenever you like. We can switch, or it can be a permanent thing. You can tell people you’ve always been the possessor if our relationship comes out.” Tony pulled Loki’s hands towards him and bent forward; kissing them in both affection and the best show of submission he could think of; anything to prove he was serious. “Either way, you don’t have to apologise about what happened, Loki.”
Loki looked completely disbelieving, but longing was cracking though his gaze. It was a desperate wish to believe it was true. Loki had spent months forcing himself to fit a preconceived mould; to hold himself rigid and not ask for what he wanted, assuming it was out of his grasp.Loki had restricted himself for Tony and what the mage assumed was his only chance of being with him. Tony was telling him differently, and he could see how much Loki wanted it, could see how much he’d been repressing it.
“You mean this?” Loki asked, still looking hesitant.
“Yeah,” Tony told him.He also knew that actions spoke louder than words, especially to people like them. So Tony decided to show him.
Tony shifted onto his knees and tugged Loki to move further up the bed with him. He laid himself down and drew up his legs, encouraging Loki’s hands down to where they’d touched him in the shower. Loki seemed unsure at first, but it made way for awe and reverence as Tony encouraged the mage to conjure some lubricant and work him open.
It had been a while since he’d had a man take him, but Loki was patient and slow. He was enjoying every moment of watching Tony grind back against him and moan loudly with pleasure. Tony chanted Loki’s name, begged for more, and did everything possible to assure Loki this was something he wanted.
When Loki pressed into him it made them both moan. Loki clung to him and Tony stroked his lover’s back, holding him close as the mage rolled his hips and they slowly savoured each deep thrust. They dragged it out as long as they could, but soon enough Loki’s rhythm was becoming faster and more broken. He reached down to stroke Tony’s cock and with a firm strike to his prostate, Tony was coming and Loki was following along behind him.
Loki curled around him in the aftermath, cuddling him like an octopus, all limbs and a refusal to let him go; Tony would have laughed or grumbled about the death-grip if it wasn’t for the mystified awe and happiness shining from Loki’s eyes. It softened Tony and had him stroking his lover’s skin in comfort and reassurance.
They hadn’t spoken for almost ten minutes, but Loki broke the quiet to ask, “You would truly tell others that I am your lover?” He pressed even closer, if that was possible and his voice lowered, “You would tell them you are mine to take?”
There was a lot about that sentence that Tony didn’t like, especially that it existed at all to make Loki vulnerable and give him such hang ups about being public about who he was with and how they were fucking.
Tony didn’t mention any of it though, not right now. Later, definitely, but right now he said the only thing that mattered.
“I would,” he promised his lover. “I don’t care what anybody thinks of me, but I do care about what makes you happy.”
Loki raised his head, his green eyes wide and turbulent. Tony brought up his hand to cup Loki’s cheek and smiled at him. “I like being your lover, regardless of who takes who. But I’d tell the whole universe you were mine if you wanted us to. I don’t care about how they rate my honour. I care about you and us and our happiness.”
When Loki smiled, it lit up his face and made Tony’s heart erupt with warmth. He shifted enough to press his lips against Tony’s in the sweetest kiss Tony had ever experienced. Loki didn’t thank him, but it was written in every touch.
He placed his head on Tony’s chest, and even brushed a kiss over Tony’s breast, right over his heart. Loki sighed with contentment and relaxed against him, looking as if the weight of the world had fallen off his shoulders.
Loki looked relaxed, he looked peaceful, and while Tony still hated that the problem existed, he felt relieved that he finally knew about it and could set about making it right. It was going to be a tough road and a hell of an uphill battle, but Tony was ready to take it on.
There were a lot of things worth fighting for, and Loki was definitely one of them.