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1.
Levi has always dreamed of living above ground: of getting to wake up and see sunlight streaming through his windows, of being able to walk out the door and feel the heat of the sun on his face and breath in fresh, clean air whenever he wants.
He’s a month with the Survey Corps before he realises that escaping the Underground is much more difficult than he had imagined. Sure, he gets those things now - even though ever since that nightmare of a first expedition and the horror of losing his only two friends in the world, appreciating them hasn’t always been on his mind – but Levi finds that he’s rarely allowed to forget the hell he came from. The Underground has left indelible marks on him; on his body, his face, the way he thinks and acts and even speaks. It shaped everything he is, and continues to mark him out as different to the rest of the soldiers in the Corps.
Soon after he got above ground with Farlan and Isabel, the tension in his head started. At first he felt it only in his temples, and put it down to stress – he felt acutely responsible for his friends’ safety in this new environment, full of possible threats, and also had the problem of Lobov’s mission to worry about. But after losing Farlan and Isabel, and the mission being rendered moot, the pain didn’t go away. In fact, it spread, pulsing dully behind his eyes and worsening progressively throughout each day so that, by the time he turned himself in for bed, it was practically blinding. Levi had always had enough trouble sleeping as it was without migraines being thrown into the mix, so he decided to make use of his free access to the Survey Corps medics and see what could be done about them.
Which is how he finds himself sitting in the san getting poked and prodded by a doctor. The man works silently, something Levi appreciates, and it’s a full ten minutes before he finishes his examination and takes his seat facing him again.
‘Well, Private, there doesn’t seem to be any other symptoms which could point to a serious condition. You’ve mentioned that you’ve never had headaches like these before and that they started soon after you joined us, correct?’
Levi nods.
‘Tell me, have you found yourself squinting a lot lately? Perhaps in the sun?’
Levi, pauses, considers. ‘I guess. Haven’t noticed myself consciously doing it, but sure. Think I need glasses or something?’
The doctor smiles but shakes his head kindly.
‘I don’t think we need to start looking into that yet, unless you begin to find your vision blurring or finding reading more difficult’
Levi stays quiet, deciding not to mention that he doesn’t actually know how to read or write.
‘For the time being, I think we should consider these headaches a result of your eyes trying to adapt to constant exposure to light. Sunlight does not reach the Underground, I understand?’
Shit. That makes sense.
‘Oh. No’
‘In that case, I think we should leave it another few weeks. Give your vision time to adjust. They will get used to the brightness eventually. In the meantime, try not to squint too much’
Levi huffs, but nods, rising to his feet. He thanks the doctor and leaves the office, stepping out from the san back into the blazing sunlight filling the barracks courtyard.
He squints.
Damn.
2.
‘For fuck’s sake, I’m telling you. I didn’t take his fucking cigarette case!’
Levi practically spits the words out onto Shadis’ office carpet, and the commander levels an unimpressed look at him.
‘Language, Private’
The young solider next to him, one of his supposed colleagues, shakes his head sadly in a way that makes Levi want to punch his lights out.
‘It was him, Sir. I’m sure of it. Someone stole it. Who’s likelier to have done it than him?’
Shadis sighs, but doesn’t seem to want to reprimand his soldier for making unwarranted assumptions about another. Fucker.
‘Levi, on the basis of these accusations, I have no other option but to order your bed and belongings searched. Albert says that cigarette case was valuable’
Levi scoffs.
‘What basis? Why me? Because I’m from the Underground?’
Shadis maintains his level gaze, but Albert carefully doesn’t look Levi’s way.
‘Well, yes. You have to admit, given your background and…record, that you would make a likely suspect’
Feeling himself tense up, Levi nearly bites his tongue to keep it from spilling the first insult he can think of. Probably about Shadis’ hair, which is starting to fall out.
‘Fine. Whatever,’ he managed to get out around gritted teeth. ‘Search as much as you want. I didn’t steal anything’
Shadis nods, pacifyingly, while Albert’s mouth twists up into a condescending smirk when he thinks Levi’s not looking. Upper-class prick. How he’d wound up in the Survey Corps and not with a cosy MP post in the Capital is beyond him.
‘Am I dismissed?’
Shadis nods again. ‘You may go’
Levi spins on his heel and is out the door before he can hear another word out of those bastards’ mouths. He nearly crashes into Erwin Smith, who’s on his way in to the Commander’s office. Erwin opens his mouth in surprise, probably about to inquire about the no doubt furious look on his new (as of last week) subordinate’s face, but Levi doesn’t want to give him the chance.
He keeps storming off down the corridor, making his way out to the training grounds. He needs to blow off some steam.
He’s notified of the results of the search of his things the next morning. They found nothing. Two weeks later, Albert finds his cigarette case in a pawn shop and discovers from the shop keeper that a young boy, most likely a pickpocket, had brought it in.
When he and Levi next cross paths, at least he has the grace to look guilty.
3.
The winter of his second year with the Corps, a nasty virus makes its way around the barracks. About a third of the soldiers end up coming down with it – thank the walls they traditionally don’t schedule expeditions during the winter – but most of them are up and about again after about two days, maybe three, of some good rest in their bunks.
Levi ends up in the san.
For some reason, the virus hits him especially hard. To his embarrassment, he nearly collapses in the mess hall at breakfast one morning. It’s only the quick reactions of his fellow team members at his table which save him from a graceless collision with the floor in front of the entire corps.
Erwin quickly abandons his own breakfast and takes Levi off his team’s hands, manhandling him towards the san. Levi tries to struggle, feels heat rising in his face which could be either embarrassment or fever, but Erwin’s strong grip brooks no argument.
Levi gives up eventually, and lets Erwin half-pull, half-carry him to the medics. They get him laid stripped of his clothes and into a bed before he knows it, and the fever worsens until the ceiling above him starts to blur and the world gets dark around the edges. Before he loses consciousness, the last thing he sees is Erwin Smith’s concerned eyes.
He’s kept in the san for an entire week. He improves every day after that first one, but spends at least the next few drifting in and out of awareness most of the time, either from fever or simple exhaustion as the illness wrecks its way out of his system. At one point, he overhears a conversation between Erwin – why’s he still here? – and the nurse. Her soft voice is explaining something, and he can hear Erwin’s occasional questions and noises of agreement.
‘-severe malnutrition and starvation as a child. Doesn’t help these things. Takes patients longer to bounce back. Need to make sure he’s eating properly-’
He drifts away again.
When he’s finally allowed to leave, he gets called nearly immediately to Erwin’s office.
He’s not sure what he’s expecting. Maybe an order to attend extra training sessions to make up for all the ones he’s missed. Instead, he gets an invitation to dinner at a nice place in town. Erwin’s treat.
Levi’s suspicious, but agrees. One thing being from the Underground has taught him – apart from how to get absolutely flattened by an illness which didn’t seem to bother too many others - is never to turn down food when you’re offered it.
It’s the nicest food he’s ever eaten. The company isn’t bad either. Levi eats and drinks wine and laughs and tries not to think too much about how handsome Erwin’s smiling face looks in the candlelight.
4.
A year and a half after joining the Survey Corps on a false pretence and unintentionally ending up staying, Levi is promoted to Team Leader. He’s taking Erwin’s place – Erwin, who is now, finally, Commander, and who Levi now considers the closest thing to a friend he has in this place. Four-Eyes probably comes in second after that, loath as he is to admit it.
Levi hesitates and debates the promotion for three days before accepting it. It means more responsibility on his shoulders which he’s not sure he can handle – his failure which led to Isabel and Farlan’s deaths is still fresh in his mind. That’s on top of the pressure he faces from both his fellow soldiers and citizens alike, whose opinion of him has slowly changed from distrust and disdain to awe and hero-worship. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier is what they’re calling him, Erwin informs him one evening over dinner. There’s a look in his eyes which Levi can’t decipher, and he scoffs, brushing off the nickname like it means nothing. It’s only later on, lying in bed, that he realises the look in Erwin’s eyes was pride.
Levi will never admit it to himself, but it’s that pride in him which eventually pushes Levi into accepting the promotion. He doesn’t really give a shit about the chain of command or climbing any kind of professional ladders. But he’ll be damned if he disappoints Erwin.
However, Levi finds himself seriously questioning the decision at his first officers meeting. It’s a week before their next expedition, Levi’s first as Team Leader and Erwin’s first as Commander, and they’re trying to get this to go as smoothly as they can. That means making sure absolutely everyone knows what their role is, and the meeting stretches out over three long, boring hours. Towards the end, as Erwin is explaining Mike’s team’s unusual position in the formation, Levi lets his mind wander a little, jolting back to awareness only when he hears words which send his stomach plummeting.
‘-and obviously I will expect a report from all Team Leaders the morning after we return. Try to start writing them immediately; the longer you leave it, the more details you may end up forgetting and leaving out. Levi, I will give you some old ones from last year’s expeditions so you can see what the layout is like’
Levi gapes, mouth open, on the verge of blurting out that the old reports will be nothing but squiggles on a page to him and won’t do him any damn good at all, when he feels his face flush a little. He can’t admit that. Not in front of all the other officers. He’s sure loads of them think him unsuited to the job enough as it is.
He closes his mouth, and Erwin seems to catch something in his expression – panic, maybe – that anyone else wouldn’t have noticed. But they’ve gotten to know each other pretty well the past few months, and Erwin can read people like a book anyway. He doesn’t give Levi time to splutter out an answer and instead carries on, ending the meeting calmly and smoothly as if nothing has happened. No one else seems to notice Levi’s awkwardness, and Levi finds himself once more feeling eternally grateful to Erwin Smith when he dismisses everyone else but asks Levi to stay behind, pretending to need to go over the formation with him.
He tilts his head at Levi once they’re alone.
‘Is there a problem, Levi?’
Levi nearly closes his eyes. He’s never been bothered by not being able to read or write before, but for some reason he’s embarrassed to admit it to Erwin.
‘I can’t write. Can’t read either. Never learned. I can’t do those reports, Erwin’
Erwin doesn’t look surprised. He nods, as if he’d been expecting that.
‘Yes, I had wondered. We’ve had a few recruits from the Underground before, and none of them were able to either’
Absurdly, Levi feels his face flush, and some look of shame must show itself on his face because Erwin steps closer and puts a warm hand on his shoulder. Levi tries to stop himself leaning too much into the touch. Fails.
‘No matter, Levi. You never had the opportunities I and everyone else were privileged to enjoy. Come to my personal quarters every day at 8 o’clock, starting tonight. I’ll teach you. Don’t worry about the report for after next week’s expedition. We’ll get you writing them in no time’
Levi stares up at him in disbelief.
‘Are you sure?’
Erwin nods.
‘Positive. I’ll try to make it was enjoyable as I can. Besides, I always kind of wanted to be a teacher’
Erwin’s face breaks into a boyish grin, totally at odds with the image of the stoic young commander he’s begun to cultivate with the public and the nobility.
Levi can’t help but smile back.
5.
Less than a year after that, not only is Levi’s handwriting the best among all the officers, he’s been promoted to Captain, head of the Survey Corps’ very first Special Operations Squad.
If only Farlan and Isablel could see him now.
He wishes the position didn’t come with all the painful hobnobbing with the nobles though. How Erwin manages to talk to these fuckers so easily, he’ll never know.
The opulent surroundings of the ball they’re currently attending, ostensibly to celebrate Levi’s promotion, but really to show him off and drum up a bit of support and hopefully some funds for their next expeditions, are like an alien world to Levi. He feels completely out of his depth in his dress uniform, shaking hands with dukes and drinking from flutes of champagne. He just wasn’t made for this.
Erwin, though….
Levi spends a good deal of the evening surreptitiously admiring the way his commander looks in the low lighting, smiling and laughing and flirting shamelessly with the noble ladies. Although he’s long ago given up pretending that what he feels for Erwin is purely platonic, he’s managed to keep that fact mostly to himself, despite a little slip up to Hanji one night last week when they were all drunk in a bar. It’s better if Erwin never knows. He’s Levi’s best friend, his superior officer, and he’ll be damned if his feelings get in the way of that.
He’s making his way over to the food table, about to help himself to some entrées, when Erwin catches his eye from across the room and beckons him over. Levi’s body moves even before he realises it, and he’d be frustrated with himself for that if he hadn’t accepted his devotion to Erwin Smith a long time ago.
Erwin places a warm hand on his back when he reaches him, turning Levi towards whatever nobles he happens to be talking to now. Levi sticks out his hand automatically, shaking the men’s hands one by one.
‘Pleased to finally meet you, Captain. Congratulations on the promotion. How are you finding the job so far?’
Levi manages to stop himself from shrugging just in time, remembering Erwin’s etiquette rules. Instead, he smiles lightly.
‘Fine so far, thank you. Best part of the job is having my own shower. Glad I never have to share with forty other people again’
The nobles throw their heads back, clapping their hands in a false display of delight that turns Levi’s stomach. These people are all so fake all the time. Everything they do is for show.
‘Oh Commander, isn’t he wonderful? ‘Glad I never have to share with forty other people again’’
The noble who had asked the question imitates Levi’s voice, trying and failing to copy the distinctive, harsh cadence of the Underground accent which he has somehow managed to retain, even after three years above ground.
‘I just love that accent. So different from ours, isn’t it? Hard to believe the Underground city is just below us right now. Imagine if all of us here spoke like that!’
Strangely enough, it is Erwin who reacts with irritation. Levi can feel him tense beside him. He responds before Erwin can say something uncharacteristically tactless.
He allows himself to shrug this time – fuck politeness – and lets the smile slip from his face.
‘It’s the accent I’ve got. We don’t choose where we come from’
The nobles nod sagely, and Levi fights the urge to roll his eyes. Thankfully, before the conversation can continue, the host stands up at one end of the room to make a speech, and Levi and Erwin manage to slip away into the crowd.
Erwin claps Levi on the shoulder as they stand pretending to listen to the boring old man’s drone. He leans in, breath making the hair on Levi’s neck stand up, whispering so that only Levi can hear him.
‘Nice job back there. You composed yourself better than me, I think’
Levi smirked. ‘I noticed, yeah’
Erwin huffs out a breath of laughter and takes his hand from Levi’s shoulder. Before he leans back to devote his attention to the speech though, he murmurs one last comment.
‘For the record, I’ve always found your accent charming’
Levi’s suddenly glad that Erwin’s standing behind him. Otherwise, he’d definitely catch the blush rising in his face.
+1.
Levi gasps, burying his fingers into Erwin’s silky blond hair, feeling where his undercut is starting to grow in. The hair is soft, and he scratches gently at it, feeling rather than hearing Erwin’s moan from where his mouth is pressed against Levi’s neck.
Erwin has him pushed against the wall in the dark corner outside his – their, now, Levi thinks smugly – quarters, and they’re trying to keep quiet. Not that it matters much to be honest. Everyone and their mother know the Commander and Captain of the Survey Corps belong to each other now, in so many ways. But there’s something nice about keeping that aspect of their relationship to themselves as much as they can. Hence, the hurried, hushed makeout outside their room.
Erwin rolls his hips into Levi’s, and Levi can’t help but groan at the sharp tug between his legs the movement leaves behind.
‘Ah, Erwin,’ he bites out, teeth worrying his lip to keep his voice low. ‘Encore!’
He eyes shoot open, a little embarrassed. Erwin is the only person from above ground he’s ever slept with, and evidently his brain is still wired to slip into the Underground’s language when he gets heated. He makes a mental note to keep to the common tongue.
But Erwin makes a low noise against his throat, jerking his hips forward again, and in the midst of the deep pleasure running down Levi’s spine he comes to suspect something. Smiling, aching to test his hypothesis, he wraps a hand around Erwin’s nape and leans in close to his ear.
‘Tu aimes ça? Tu aimes quand j’te parle comme ça, Erwin?’
He mouths a kiss to Erwin’s ear and the man moans again, a desperate noise. Levi smirks. Oh, he’s definitely going to exploit this weakness as much as he can.
He hops up as gracefully as he can, wrapping his legs quickly around Erwin’s waist. The wall is a steady enough support against his back, but Erwin’s sole remaining hand catches him anyway, as he knew they would. Levi pulls him in close, mouth catching his easily. They kiss for several long, delicious moments, before Levi pulls back resting his forehead on his lover’s.
‘Tu me rends complètement fou, tu sais?’
Erwin breathes out a shuddering breath against Levi’s mouth, then he feels him grin.
‘I have no idea what you’re saying, but damn you for saying it’
Levi laughs fondly.
‘Can’t blame me. Who’d have thought something like this would get you going?’
Erwin huffs, shakes his head.
‘Please don’t start speaking that language in meetings. I’m not sure I’ll be able to stand it’
His eyes are sparkling, and Levi leans in to kiss him again, softly.
‘Only with you, Erwin’
He uses both hands to rough Erwin’s perfect blond hair up even more that it already was. Erwin stares up at him with something like awe in his eyes, and Levi’s heart nearly bursts for love of him.
‘Now,’ he trails off, pressing his mouth to Erwin’s jaw, ‘fais-moi l’amour’
Erwin groans, half in mock-exasperation, half in desire, and kisses Levi while Levi’s hand searches blindly for the door handle behind him.
Guess there are perks to being from the Underground after all.