Chapter Text
In the moments, after the diary was stabbed, lying here with the large hole of void cracking it's perfect surface, dying and and bleeding the blood of black while the glowing, haunting and so handsome face of his is twisted by the pain and hot, white rage, I felt it for the first time. That indescribable feeling as something lost a many years ago was returned to me. Something so foreign and yet so familiar. Something which was never meant to be with me again. I think it has to be the life of the little red haired girl as she is returning back from the dark, deep abyss of death and back into the world of living. I just saved her after all and she is sibling of my friend ...
The horrifying ancient creature is lying nearby, watching us with it's bleeding, missing eyes. I am growing weaker and weaker as the burning poison is spreading through my veins , consumming my small, fraigle body and taking my life away from me. I am afraid. I am so afraid. I hear weak echoes of the hissing voice in my head . I think it's His voice, so cold and so alluring, whispering that soon I will join him for the rest of eternity.
And then, it's all gone as the loud, desperate cry echoes through the chamber and warm presence appears next to me. It's hot tears of life save me. And as I am dragged up and up by the beautiful creature of fire, I feel free and alive and I forget all of that ...
That night, I am dreaming. It's so strange and vivid, more like a memory of ancient times, burried deep, deep inside my mind. Was it always there?
I am here again, standing in that hidden, dreadful place of shaddows. Exitement and pride is consumming my rapidly beating heart. I am admiring the cold statues of serpents surrounding me, gazing at me intently with the unliving eyes of stone. Finally. After years of searching, at last, I found my way here. To the secret place which belongs to me rightfully. I am staring at the monumental, noble statue of my great ascentor. Watching his beautilul, majestic creature emerge itself from the statue's great mouth. Answering my call. How magnificent. How gorgeous. How hauntingly beautilul. Sleeping for so long . Too long . Eager to satisfy it's hunger. Eager for me to release it from it's home and prison. Eager to let it out ...
The wailing of an unexpected visitor. Pathethic whimpering and screams of that annoying girl sobbing in the abandoned bathroom above. Her surprise at my presence. Her face full of disgusting tears for whatever reason made her hide herself here and cry herself out. An opportunity. The perfect chance. She opens the door . I smile charmingly. She freezes in the mid of the motion. She does not get the chance to fear. To scream. To cry and run away. To escape. My smile turn into the smirk of victory.
Look into my eyes ...
The great shadow emerges behind me. Beautiful and deadly. Ready to listen my every command. Ready to grant my every wish. Ready to strike in the split of second.
Look into these eyes
Her limp body falls to the cold floor. Lying here like the broken doll. I watch her surprised face and know that there is no turning back. I don't feel the hate or rage for her. I don't really know what I am feeling now. I watch as the last single tear of hers drops to the stones underneath her lifeless form and merges with the small puddle of water. There is no blood. There is no wound. Just one single gaze which ripped her life of her at my command. Her existence ends here while my own path to immortality just begins. This was the first step necessary. Now I have to act quickly. I dissappear in the darkness, leaving her now useless remains behind.
Watched by the unliving eyes of stony snakes, I am kneeling in the middle of the chamber. The black diary lies opened in front of me. So ordinary and yet soon to be so special. My lips are whispering and hissing the words long forgotten and forbidden. Words, stabbing me like sharp knives. I felt nothing back before, when my will was taking the life away from another. But now my whole being screams silently and soundlessly in the searing agony, asi it's cut in half inside by the poisonous blade. I have to endure it.
I watch my pale trembling reflection on the wet, slippery stones like in some dark , twisted mirror. I feel something wet and sticky on my face. It's pouring from my eyes and mouth as I am still chanting and my body basks in searing pain. My reflection shows no change. But I see and feel the crimson, bloody liquid pouring from my eyes and mouth, dropping on the ground as the splash after splash rings in my ears together with my chanting, and surrounding the diary in the pool of crimson. Leaving hollow emptiness in me, much like when the large blade is ripped off the deep bleeding wound. Turning itself black. Soaking into the blank pages and dissappearing inside.
My senses are overhelmed but my reflection still shows nothing. Only my kneeling body shaking from the pain and something else. The pain slowly going away too, leaving only void and numbness behind. My vision blurs from exhaustion as I my eyes are fixed on the diary, in front of me, clean and innocent outside but tainted and alive inside, and I know I did it ...It ... worked ... This is it ... The moment I craved for ... The first and hardest step ... to eternity ...
I wake up trembling and sweating and dissoriented. My mouth are wide open like I was screaming my lungs out only a moment before, but there is only silence welcomming me. I am panting heavily. What ... happened? I had a dream. I can't remember the details. I can remember the face. The wailing ghostly girl from the bathroom. Was she ghostly at all? The Chamber ... I was there again. Probably reliving the painful events from the previous day in the nightmare. No ... that was not it. I was kneeling alone in the dark. I can almost hear the haunting echoes of the chanting. Something happened there. Something great and terrible ...
I am trying to remember, but my head starts hurt so badly. I am shaking again. I press my trembling hands to my forhead and trying to calm myself. Imagining the comforting voice whispering me soothing words and repeating them again and again.
Whatever happened in there, it's already gone. Everything is alright. Your friends are safe and alive. You are safe. It's gone.
And with that soothing words, little by little, the calm voice in my head changes into familiar cold and alluring without me even notice. It still whispers to me.
It's alright. It's over now. Don't think about it. Don't try to remember.
I curl into the warm sheets, trying to sleep again. When the morning comes, I forget the strange dream completly. Only that lingering feeling is still here. Like something missing was returned to me ...