Chapter Text
“Jim!” the Southern drawl boomed down the spacious, bustling corridor. “Jim!”
“In here.” A muffled voice laced with anger and resignation sounded from the other side of a door. McCoy began weaving his way through the throngs of Starfleet plebe uniforms as though he were reciting a bizarre yet elaborate dance. He smacked his hand on the door before him a few times as scattered people eyed his behaviour curiously.
“Is this the one?”
“Yes . . . ”
“It isn’t opening!”
“Um, yeah. He has something shoved in the jamb.”
McCoy looked down in a mixture of wonder and disbelief at the PADD worked into the door jamb.
“He ruined a PADD just to trap you in a closet? My God man, what did you do?” McCoy grunted as he worked furiously to yank the PADD out of the jamb.
“I exist.” Jim said so bluntly that McCoy had to let out a spurt of laughter amidst going red in the face from trying to get the tech out of the door. “Are you getting me out of here or what? My first Xenobiology class is in half an hour.”
“I’m so sorry Jim, I’m tryin’-- It isn’t budging!”
“Cadet!” A stern, calm voice broke the air and McCoy immediately stopped what he was doing and stood at attention.
“Yes sir!” He responded automatically, and nearly capsized when a green tinted face and pointed ears filled his vision.
Oh my Jesus. Oh my Jesus. Aliens really do work at Starfleet. Not a rumor. My first alien! Be cool. Act natural.
The slanted brows before him furrowed as coffee dark eyes took in the scene: a sweaty McCoy and a now defective PADD forcefully worked into the jamb of a janitorial closet. A slanted brow rose.
“You do realize this is Starfleet Academy and not a Terran high school?”
McCoy nearly fell down. Was that sarcasm? . . . did . . . did aliens do sarcasm?
“Yes sir. Allow me to explain myself. My friend is trapped in there, he has had trouble with a fellow petty officer -- ” McCoy silenced himself in awe as this sharp dressed elf used only one hand and in the most minimal of gestures, took the PADD out of the jamb as easily as if he were picking berries. McCoy didn’t realize his mouth was open until the alien gave him another brow of intrigue.
“Then my advice would be for your friend to get out of trouble with his fellow petty officer considering said officer is his superior.” The green tinged gentleman placed the tortured PADD against McCoy’s chest, prompting Leonard to take it.
“Yes, but -- ”
“And attain yourself a new work PADD, as your previous use of this one has proven to be most illogical and wasteful. Good day, cadet.” A curt inclination of head to indicate his leave, and the alien was gone. Jim stumbled out of the closet, sweaty and huffing.
“Was that seriously his advice? Get out of trouble with Finnegan? Well if it were that easy I wouldn’t be spending my lunch trapped in a janitor’s closet . . .”
“Jim you missed it!” McCoy hissed excitedly. “I think I just saw my first alien.”
“Seriously?” Jim’s eyes sparkled with interest, and McCoy’s expression changed suddenly upon taking in Kirk’s appearance.
“Jesus Jim, what did he do to you? Your glasses--”
“I know, I know--”
“We’ll have to run back to our dorm, they’re wrecked--”
“There’s no time, I have class now! I’ll go after it--”
“You won’t see a God damn thing on that board!”
“Can you not mother hen me right now? This morning has sucked so far. The least you could do is tell me what the alien looked like.”
“Are you sure? Jim, you look really rough. . .”
“Bones!”
“Alright!” McCoy tossed his hands up in frustration.
“So? Tell me what you saw! Did you know what species it was?”
“I’ve no clue in hot hell what he was besides a tight ass.” Leonard grumbled.
“Well perhaps I know what he was, give me a description. Be as accurate as possible, some of them have pretty minute differences--”
“He looked like an Asian Beatle.” McCoy quipped immediately, and Jim doubled over with laughter, briefly holding the wall for support.
“Jesus Bones, watch what you say! The guy was your superior -- ”
“Seemed like a superior asshole to me . . .”
“Bones!”
“What? He had a stick up his ass! He acted like I was the one who got you in there in the first place. I don’t need his douchebag judgement--”
“What did he look like I said?! My God . . .”
“Greenish. Pointed ears. His eyebrows tapered off like they were scared of his face – like he’d stood in the wind too long--”
“Jesus Christ Bones, never mind. Just keep your mouth closed. If anyone hears you we’ll be ejected from the academy.”
Bones put his two index fingers pointing up by his ears and adapted a stern look.
“This is Starfleet Academy, not a Terran high school!”
“Stop it, man!” Jim cackled, batting McCoy’s hands away from his ears. “Someone will see you. Just shut up and walk me to class, will you?”
“Well God knows you need an escort. Where the hell am I going to find you next? Worked into an air duct? Someone’s lunch box?”
“Do they even make those anymore?”
Leonard’s response was cut off from the corridor as the doors to the turbolift came to a close, carrying the boys to the third floor of Starfleet Academy.