Chapter Text
Chapter 1-A Monster’s Birthday
This was wrong, all wrong. Izuku knew that his fifth birthday was going to be a great day, because he would finally get his quirk but it wasn’t. Kacchan was supposed to be strong and brave, but he was crying and curled into a ball on the ground. His quirk was supposed to be something great, but it was scaring him. He wasn’t supposed to be alone in t he woods but he was when he ran off until he was found by Kacchan mostly normal later and was dragged back. The rest of his party passed quickly after they came back to his house with Kacchan begging his mom to leave because it was boring. Kacchan never begged his mom. It was another wrongness to the day that stabbed more nausea into his gut.
His presents were fine he didn’t remember really. All he could remember was that horrible shifting back in the forest. That feeling of stretching and his body moving in ways that it shouldn’t and then Kacchan was screaming and crying. So scared. Scared of him.
His mother asked him what was wrong, but he just wanted to forget. She was persistent, but couldn’t get anything out of him other than he had made Kacchan upset. Inko chalked up his sadness as a result of Kacchan ignoring him. She knew how proud the other child could be and how he held a grudge when others shook his pride. She wasn’t worried. They would make up soon.
They didn’t. While Kacchan often ignored Izuku he didn’t ever turn him away from joining in his activities. Now Kacchan drove him away with his explosions. It wasn’t because he was scared. No, of course not. It was he needed to prove that he was still better than that useless Deku even if he had gotten a quirk. Izuku didn’t fight back at all. He just accepted this as a new part of his life.
He started simply accepting everything. School was just something he had to do. His teachers were concerned at his lack of any enthusiasm, but he always did his work and answered questions when asked so they didn’t worry too much. During meals he ate whatever was put onto his plate and didn’t care what it was. He just sat around in his room staring at the wall only leaving for meals, the bathroom, and half an hour each day to walk around the park near his house after his mom forced him to play outside.
Inko was very worried about her son as the months went by, even if he continued to tell her that everything was fine. She knew that he and Kacchan still hadn’t made up, but she had never seen him this upset about one of their fights. He wasn’t acting like himself at all. Izuku wasn’t the most athletic or outdoorsy child, but even he played without Kacchan’s urging. Now he stayed in his room all day. He was always interested in heroes, but now he barely showed even the faintest interest in any of the newspaper articles or TV programs about them. Whenever Mitsuki had visited before Izuku would join in their talks the way a child would blurting out whatever was on his mind. Now during her visits Izuku would leave his room, sit on the couch silent the entire time, and return once she left. It got so bad after his sixth birthday that she decided to take Izuku to a psychologist even though he was so young.
“Now Izuku, you’re here because your mother is worried about you. She told me that you are staying in your room all day and not showing any interest in the things you used to like. She’s worried about you and wants me to help you solve whatever your problem is. If I am to help you, then you need to be honest with me. I won’t judge you for anything you say because that would make it harder to solve the problem. Do you understand?” Izuku only responded affirmatively because it was expected.
“Now I believe that the main cause of this problem was a fight between you and a friend. Am I right?”
“No.”
The doctor while slightly taken aback at the abrupt reply and his incorrect conclusion, was still a professional. Getting it directly from the patient was best so he asked, “Well then, what do you believe caused the problem?”
“My quirk.”
“I see. And what is your quirk?”
“Nothing.” Quirks weren’t supposed to make you a monster. Quirks weren’t supposed to scare your best friend who was always so brave into crying. Therefore what he had wasn’t a quirk. He didn’t have a quirk. If only this was true. He wanted it to be true.
“So you have no quirk. And what is your friend’s opinion on your state of being quirkless?”
“He hates me. He doesn’t want me near him.” Izuku didn’t mention the fear in Kacchan’s eyes whenever he walked too close to him or the hate that was mixed in as well. He didn’t mention how it hurt him to see someone who was his best friend in the world drive him away whenever he came close. Even so he didn’t fight it. What he did to Kacchan was bad. When he was bad his mom punished him. So it made sense that Kacchan punished him. It was what he deserved. Heros always beat up the bad guys. Kacchan was going to be a hero. He was the bad guy.
“Did he tell you this directly? Often people do not talk to each other clearly and it leaves the other confused. Are you quite certain he doesn’t want you around or could it be a misunderstanding?”
“He used his quirk to scare me off.”
“Well, I do agree that this display of aggression is rather straightforward in its meaning. But that does mean that his feelings on the topic of quirks should apply to you. You can be a very good person in society even without a quirk. In fact I believe that there are better suited people to help you with your problem. I help people through their emotional problems, but there are psychologists for problems arising specifically from quirks. Or the lack of. Here go show this to your mother,” he said handing a piece of paper with the quirk counselor's information on it.
It took awhile to schedule a new patient, but in a few days Izuku was once again before a psychologist. He was once again sitting reclined being asked questions that he only answered because he wanted to be left alone. Most of the advice he ignored because it was basic don’t be discouraged, keep hope. He only needed one question answered. Interrupting the counselor he asked the question that was burning in his heart, “Can somebody be a hero without a quirk?”
The therapist paused giving some thought to the question before he answered. “Well there are plenty of support heroes who are quirkless and lots of them in hero administration. There have also been many vigilantes some of which have been rather well known possibly because they were successful despite having no quirks. Unfortunately there have currently been no quirkless pro heros. But that does not mean it can’t be done. You can always be the first.”
Something about what the therapist said bothered Izuku. “How can there be a lot of vigilantes with no quirk, but not a single pro hero?”
“Well you see it's because the standards for heros need to be met and without a quirk it’s basically impossible. A hero must be able to succeed in every sort of situation from rescues to hostage situations to large fights, while vigilantes mostly engage in ambushes against one or two people. Also heros need to get certification while anybody can be a vigilante.”
This was the first thing to catch his interest since he had gotten his quirk. He knew that vigilantes weren’t exactly good, but they were kinda like heroes because they helped others. A monster wasn’t exactly good, but he wanted to help others. They were just like him. He didn’t want to be a hero. Kacchan was going to be a hero. He was going to become a vigilante. “How does one become a vigilante?”
The therapist frowned when he heard this. “You don’t. What vigilantes do is against the law. I know you’re just asking because you’re curious, but I can’t encourage this sort of interest. There are so many other opportunities to pursue in your life, don’t waste it breaking the law. And I know you wanted to be a hero so don’t ever feel like being a vigilante is the only option to achieve your dream. Your mother told me how inspired you are by them. I’m sure with enough effort you could easily become the first quirkless pro hero.” The therapist continued to give what he thought was a very inspiring speech to an uncomplaining audience. ‘So polite and respectful,’ he thought to himself.
Izuku had stopped paying attention when the therapist had started his spiel and had gone back to his previous near catatonic state. However, this was different than all the other times. While his expression was blank on the inside his mind was buzzing about how he would start his new dream. He needed to know more first, he had focused so much on heroes and had almost nothing on vigilantes. He also needed to practice his quirk. It wasn’t a hero’s quirk, but it was fine for a vigilante hunting from the shadows. Of course he couldn’t let his mom know about it. He didn’t want to scare her either. He didn’t want to ruin her life like he did with Kacchan. So he would have to practice his quirk in secret. Slowly the rambling thoughts of a young Izuku came together into a perfect plan in his head.
It was easy to for Izuku to ignore Kacchan when he was lost in planning his vigilante future. Unfortunately ignoring Kacchan was not the best of ideas even when he was in a good mood. Kacchan was filling with anger because that horrible Deku kept ignoring him. That monster had no right to ignore him. It was just another way that Deku was saying he was weak. He wasn’t weak at all. He wouldn’t even meet him to give him the satisfaction of beating him in a fight to prove he was still strong. It just made him so mad.
Somehow that horrible Deku had avoided him the entire day. Kacchan just couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t know what this extra did exactly, but he was pissed off. He shoved him to the ground and let his explosions pop out of his hands. He was finally feeling slightly back in control when that horrible Deku came between him and that random extra.
“I’m not g-g-going to let you hurt him K-k-kacchan.” It was pitiful to Kacchan how Deku was shaking and crying. “A h-hero wouldn’t l-let t-them get hurt.”
Those words filled him with rage. Deku wasn’t ever supposed to be a hero. He was worthless even before he got that quirk of his. And with it he would be even more worthless than before at being a hero. He was supposed to be the hero. Not Deku. Never that horrible Deku. “You won’t ever be a hero Deku. Get it inside that shitty head of yours that people would never want someone like you to save them.” Kacchan normally had a fire inside of him, but he was so angry that this… this… this monster thought it could be a hero. It exploded out of him in the form of his quirk as he hammered his fists into Izuku, emphasizing his point. “You. Are. Not. A. Hero!” For once that Deku was useful for something, Kacchan thought as he walked away. He felt so much better after beating up that shitty Deku. It didn’t last though as thoughts of Deku coming back for revenge as that monster from Deku’s birthday haunted him.
Izuku was left on the ground a crying mess, with smoke wafting from his arms from where Kacchan had attacked him. He lay there stunned. He knew that Kacchan was always proud after he got his quirk and rightly so, boasting how he would be the number one hero. But he had always let Izuku talk of being a hero. It would normally be a low ranked one which was fine because he just wanted to help people and didn’t care if he was ranked highest. Sometimes if Kacchan was in a good mood he would let Izuku dream of being his sidekick or even the number two hero. But those words kept echoing inside of his head. You are not a hero. It seemed like fate had wanted to bring another pillar of his life crumbling down by destroying Kacchan’s twisted support of his goals.
Not a hero.
Not a hero.
Not a hero.
Not a hero.
Not a hero.
Not a hero.
No! He will be better than just a hero. He’s going to be better than Kach, no, Bakugou. Better than any hero who’s ever been. Even All Might. He would prove them all wrong. He would help so many people that it wouldn’t matter if he looked like a monster or even acted like one. He’s going to train harder than anyone, make his quirk the best one ever, and prove himself as a vigilante.
And to do that he will have to practice with his quirk.