Work Text:
There are all sorts of shame in life. But maybe nothing is like the shame of knowing you're being dishonest with yourself and your wife. The shame of knowing that at night when you're making love to her, you're really thinking about him.
Sometimes you're thinking about her.
He could lie to himself and claim that it started out innocently enough. But it didn't.
For a while now, they had some stuff in common - both married, though Rip much more unhappy than he.
They'd been taking their showers and a little banter between the two of them led to a playful fight over the soap. He remembered grabbing Ripley's arms and pressing him against the tiles of the shower. They both were breathing heavily. Sully stared down into Ripley's bright blue eyes and asked himself what the fuck was he doing. Why the hell was he getting hard?
He never kissed a dude before, but that's exactly what he did then. It was different than kissing Claire, more angry, more forceful. One could never underestimate how it felt to have someone else's beard scrape your own face. That's what they did. Rip was taller than Claire with so much more muscle and still 3 inches shorter than Sullivan. He didn't seem to mind as the water cascaded over both of them.
Maybe it was a shitty idea. Maybe because Luke was going to call him a faggot and push him away.
Nothing of the sort happened. Ripley calmly got the soap and started soaping Robert's entire body. Everything. Those hands worked all the way down his hips and right to the shaft. He proceeded to give Sullivan the best soapiest handjob he'd ever gotten.
Since turnabout's fair play, it wasn't really Sully's fault- right - that he got on his knees and sucked off his best friend. He spent the next 10 minutes with his friend's cock in his mouth. Luke only groaned and whispered 'Sully' over and over again.
Now the right thing to do would have been tell Claire that he had to be bi. That he was cheating on her with his best friend.
He didn't do the right thing.
Sully wasn't sure what Ripley felt because he might just have been frustrated. Eva appeared to be a real bitch, and one of her favorite ways to punish Rip was by withholding sex.
That's how it started. Soon Sullivan was inviting his lieutenant nightly into his bunkroom. What started as mutual masturbation led to furtive whispers of Sully asking Rip to stroke him, rub the head of his cock. It was becoming a normal shift to have Ripley strip the second he entered the room so Sullivan could climb in bed with him and let Ripley give him whatever he wanted. Ripley would tease that maybe he should start counting how many times he could get Sullivan to come in one night if it were quiet call. He didn't keep count except Sully knew the number was seven. Luke would use his hands, his mouth, and then the one time Sullivan completely submitted.
Made him hard just remembering it. They had been toying with ass play with Sully for a while. The condoms have been there. Ripley had never asked specifically but didn't hesitate to use the lube his friend provided. Sully had already been fully erect when Ripley started to use his fingers to breach his puckered anus. Luke wasn't even the least bit embarrassed and Sully wanted to know what it felt like.
He remembered actually asking for it. He gotten down on his hands and knees to ask Ripley to put on the condom. Ripley pushed in his long solid cock, moaning louder than he usually did in this little game. If Sully's brain had been working, he'd have spent more time hoping they didn't get caught. But the feeling of his best friend penetrating him, stimulating his prostate, doing it over and over again. Sully asked for it more and Rip gave it to him just like he'd asked.
That time Sully finished all over the floor, he remembered. Rip kept driving into him until he too finished. Apparently, he wasn't a stranger to anal as he had heard from Luke that it was one of the things Eva would give and sometimes take away.
That night when he went home to Claire, he didn't say anything. But just the thought of what he had done made him flushed and aroused. He remembered making love to Claire, pushing her harder and aggressively. She been a little bit surprised but his ardor made up for it. All the while he was inside her, he kept flashing back to having Ripley inside of him or that time Ripley had used his mouth. And that made him come hard.
The next day was a perfectly fine morning of boxing and giving his lieutenant a secret bunkroom blowjob.
Until the call. The birthday call - the doomed birthday call.
Sully had been mad that they couldn't save her. She was the only one who was really innocent in all of this. Mad at himself; mad at Ripley mad; mad at the world.
In a week after the funeral, Luke had appeared at his house. He came to apologize, but Robert wasn't having it. What he was having was Ripley.
Sully trapped him against the door, practically forcing himself on Luke, shredding his clothes. Ripley didn't resist and willingly got on all fours. Sullivan almost sadistically enjoyed his moans, fucking him in the ass harder and harder. Ripley came once, but Sullivan wasn't done. If he was going to live with this guilt, he was going to make Ripley ask for it, beg, stretch that tight hole, own him. Which he did, banging Ripley hard, sucking him off, covering him with bruises, marking him. They used every room, almost every flat and vertical surface, and not once did Ripley refuse him anything. He met each caress willingly, pulled into Sully's emotional maelstrom.
But when they woke up together in Sully's and Claire's bed, that was it. Sullivan threw him out the door. Anytime Luke tried to talk to him, Sully simply shouted him down. He told him to leave, told him how much he hated him.
Luke didn't try to defend himself. That was the last time he'd seen Ripley. Sully managed to stay in Seattle a couple more years. He'd heard Ripley's and Eva's marriage head completely dissolved. That he was a captain now. And then a battalion chief. When Sullivan found a job offer for a captain in Montana, he took it.
Now he was looking at the job listing for captain of Station 19 - Seattle, Washington. Advertised by Chief Lucas Ripley.
He wondered how Ripley was now. In the years he stayed in Seattle, he never heard anything negative about his former lieutenant and lover. Not even a whisper how about if he got his sexual frustration out on his male teammates. Rumors came up sometimes about different women the Riptide dated, but nothing ever seemed to stick. He was a damn good looking man so it would make sense.
Now the question. Should he apply?