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He’s beautiful
Changbin says when he sees him for the first time. Hyunjin gives him a knowing smile.
“Wait for when he dances.”
He does, and when the music starts, he cannot take his eyes off him.
His movements are one with the music, passionate yet controlled. It’s enchanting to see; how he glows, surrenders himself to the rhythm and beams so brightly that he catches everyone’s attention. He smiles along with him, powerless to resist his charm.
Your dancing is captivating
He says when they randomly meet on another day. The blonde smiles warmly and extends his hand, “I’m Felix.” Changbin accepts it, squeezing the warm fingers, letting their touch linger.
“Changbin.”
For a delicate moment, they beam at each other like fools.
“Want to dance?” He nods to the dancefloor and Felix hums in confirmation. They lift their glasses.
“Cheers.”
Felix giggles and once their drinks are gone, the blonde grabs his hand, interlocks their fingers and pulls him to the dancefloor in an eager rush. Their hands swing joyfully the whole way.
Don’t move so much
He chides kindly, evening the blonde’s ever-shifting body with his hands. Felix pouts, which causes Changbin to laugh.
“This won’t work if you wiggle around all the time.” Changbin raises the black pen, but before he can do anything, the blonde steals it from him with a grin and draws a huge, black dot on Changbin’s nose.
“Cute.” Felix giggles and pats his cheek, fingers lingering. Changbin scoffs and reclaims the pen.
“You’re such a silly.” He fondly eyes him and finally sets the pen on his freckled cheeks once more. “Keep still now.” He leans in close, drawing lines on pastel skin. The blonde observes him, mouth tugged into a smile. Something pokes him between the rips; Changbin jerks back with a squeak and draws an unsteady line all over the blonde’s now rosy cheeks.
Felix laughs, and Changbin rolls his eyes, grinning.
You’re such an idiot
He sighs while petting the blonde’s thigh, who leans his head on Changbin’s shoulder. His teary eyes tucked away in the soft fabric there. “Be careful, please.” He mumbles, voice small.
“Will be.” Changbin soothes and gently cleans the blonde’s scraped knee with a wet cloth until soil and dried blood is but a memory. “There all better.” He holds the other’s hand and squeezes it.
“Thanks, Changbinnie.” Felix manages a strained smile. His heart swells at the sight.
“Don’t cry, it’s okay.” He pecks the blonde’s fingers one-by-one. Felix’s breath hitches and when Changbin peers up, his pale cheeks are rosy.
You’re too cute for your own good
He chuckles and pokes his forehead. Felix huffs and folds his arms to look insulted, but cracks up with a giggle shortly after. “I just couldn’t leave them.” Changbin has to smile and glances over the blonde’s shoulder at the two kittens playing with a ball of yarn.
“Well, at least you guys fit together.” He bumps their shoulders.
“How so?”
“They’ll surely make a mess just like you do.”
The blonde laughs, slapping his shoulder in mock anger. “I’m not that bad!”
You know that’s a lie
He states, chuckling when Felix lets out an offended gasp and nearly smashes his yoghurt into the table. “I knew it!” He exclaims, stands up and knocks over his water.
“Lix, careful!” Changbin laughs and draws him away from the table. He shakes his head with a laugh and tidies up the mess with a cloth. Felix sits sulking on a chair behind him. “You really believed that Minho had an elephant as a pet once? That’s absurd.” He teases and chucks the cloth at him.
“He sounded very convincing, okay?” Felix defends, chucking the cloth right back. It misses Changbin and hits the opened bottle on the table; water rushes out and drenches Changbin’s pants. “Oh shit, sorry!” Felix surges up, grasps the cloth and tries to dry Changbin’s leg. Latter laughs, nudging him aside.
“What are you doing? My pants aren’t wet there, it’s their colour, you dumbass.”
Why are you blushing?
He asks when Felix pauses in front of him, hands tucked away behind his back. “I’m not blushing.” He maintains, rejecting the undeniable. “Can we watch this movie? It brings back memories from my childhood.” He peers at Changbin with pleading eyes, holding an old, worn DVD in his palms.
“Sure. Are you embarrassed because it’s a movie for kids? I don’t mind.” He pats Felix’s hair with a fond smile.
They sit on the couch and Changbin regards the colours flash over the blonde’s face and the lights reflect in his eyes.
“Can we cuddle?” Felix asks, glancing at him with a timid smile.
“Sure.” The words are but a breath, a smile blooming on his lips in response. Entangled in each other, they watch the movie, with hands carding through unruly hair and fingers drawing figures on wherever they settle. Felix lets out a content sigh, snuggled into Changbin’s side as if he’s his teddy bear.
I enjoy having you in my arms
He whispers against his cold forehead. Outside, the campfire bristles and the wind sweeps over their tent in a harsh caress. “And I enjoy being in your arms. You’re nice and warm.” The blonde responds in a hush against his chest, yawn chasing his words.
“So, I’m just a heater to you, huh?” He jokes, softly tickling the blonde’s sides. Felix squeals and giggles, fidgeting in their embrace.
“Stop please, that’s not how I meant it!” he gasps through giggles and Changbin takes mercy on him.
“How did you mean it?” he asks into blonde hair and Felix huddles closer to him.
“In your arms it’s as if I can be who I am, because you’ll be there no matter what.” The blonde’s words are dampened through the fabric, but Changbin understands. He holds him securely, kissing the crown of his head, and listens to the snores that follow soon after.
I’m in love
He reveals to Jisung as they sit in the church, waiting for the groom long before the ceremony starts. “Really now? How unexpected.” Jisung responds dryly, sarcasm lacing his voice. Changbin hits his shoulder.
“I’m being honest here.” He insists and snickers when the other rubs his shoulder with a pout.
“Me too,” Jisung huffs, “anybody can see you love each other, it’s only you two being blind to it.”
He settles next to the groom when the vows are exchanged and his eyes catch Felix’s in the crowd. The blonde looks gorgeous in his suit; there’s a dreamy smile on his face and his eyes glisten with unshed tears. They peer at each other and the world melts into the background; he sees only Felix, and his affectionate smile that’s mirrored on his own lips.
The music is slow and unhurried, the newlyweds and guests dance together, gently swaying to the cosy sounds.
“May I?” Changbin asks, jokingly, and holds out his hand for Felix, who giggles and accepts it without missing a beat.
“You may always.”
They leisurely rock to the melody, Felix leans on him and nestles his head into the crook of his neck. Their arms slide around the other in a tight embrace. With every languid sway, hair tickles his cheek and a pleasant scent fills his nose. He smiles, content.
I want to hold you a little longer
He murmurs against his temple and tightens their hug. Felix hums softly and weaves an arm around his midst, tugging him closer, words laced with slumber. “Hold me for as long as you want.”
“What if I hold you forever?” Changbin asks, bringing up a hand and carding it through blonde hair.
“I don’t mind.” Felix breathes in reply, words slurred, and not long after, he falls asleep.
“Forever it is, then.” He moves and glances at the blonde’s sleeping face. His lips are parted, his nose twitches cutely, and his freckles splatter over his cheeks like abstract art. He brushes his knuckles over them, adoring the smooth texture of his skin.
Can I kiss you?
He asks quietly and pushes his forehead to the blonde’s. The light breaks in the reflective decorations that dangle from the ceiling and lamps bathe the room in faint hues of sunny colours. Familiar music embraces them, tugging them into a tranquil lull.
The blonde hums, leaning in and bumping their noses together. Warm breath fawns over his lips and Changbin smiles, warmth engulfing his body like a tsunami. Their eyes meet and he swallows at their proximity and the blonde’s loving smile.
“Please do.”
Their lips touch as he talks; eyes slip shut and they lean in. Changbin cups his cheeks, stroking them while their lips move together languidly. Love grows in him like a blossom under the sun; a warm surge crawls over his skin and his heart to pounds with happiness.
I love you with everything I am
He says and sees Felix's eyes sparkle. The blonde shuffles closer, bumping their foreheads together. “I love you with everything I am too.” Their lips touch in a warming peck that tastes salty. Changbin observes the tears passing over the blonde’s cheeks; he leans in and kisses them away one-by-one.
“Why are you crying, baby?” His tone is hushed and Felix sniffles before wiping his eyes with a charming gesture.
“I’m just so glad to have you by my side. I can’t imagine my world without you.” He whispers between hiccups. Changbin looks at him affectionately.
“I can’t imagine my life without you either… I love you more than you love me, though.”
Felix gasps, looking more alive at once. “That’s not true, I love you more!”
“No, you don’t, I love you more! I love you to the moon and back!”
“I love you from earth to moon to Jupiter and Pluto and back!”
“I love you one time through the entire universe, and since its endless, so is my love for you.” Changbin finishes, proudly smiling, and when Felix scoffs, he sticks out his tongue. Felix giggles at his childish behaviour.
“You’re such a sappy idiot.”
Changbin doesn’t respond and giggles along with him, enjoying the sound of their happiness.
Your laugh gives me life
He claims, snickering at Felix’s red face. “That’s no reason for you to tickle me nearly to death!” The blonde wheezes. “And no answer to why you were tickling me either, you meanie.” Felix rolls over, coming face to face with him. Changbin chuckles at his scrunched-up face and prods the crinkle between his eyebrows.
“It’s revenge for when you poured ice water over me in the shower.” Laughing, he evades a pillow aimed for his face.
“That happened more than a month ago! You used that incident four times as excuse already! It doesn’t count anymore!” Felix struggles to stay serious - there’s a grin growing on his lips.
“Mmmmh? What did you say? I can’t hear you!” Felix lunges at him and Changbin squeals and runs away.
“I know you can hear me, you doofus, come here you!” Felix shrieks and takes off after him, nearly slipping on the hardwood floor thanks to his fluffy socks.
“Woah there-” Changbin tries to catch him by the arm, but slips himself and they land in a heap on the floor. Felix groans and struggles to shove him off.
“What a hero you are,” he quips, “landing on me instead of saving me.” Changbin scoffs and shuts him up with a kiss.
“You love me for it.”
Felix rolls his eyes, but they glow with laughter and affection.
Without you I’d be nothing
“… and I mean it.” He says after a minute’s silence and Felix’s previously amused eyes turn serious. The ocean’s waves crash into the shore and seagulls screech high above them. The blonde snuggles into his side, leaning his head against Changbin’s temple.
“I’m great, aren’t I?” The blonde jokes into the breeze, voice serious but lips tugged into a sweet smile. Changbin pokes his side and gains a yelp in response.
“Hilarious, Lix. I’m being sincere here.”
Felix grabs his hand, entwining their fingers. “I know, I know,” he smiles, “I feel the same. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. It would be so empty.” Felix shifts to him, reaching for his other hand. “Let’s stay together always. Let’s not let anything ever get between us, okay?” And this time, Changbin tears up. He averts his face, but Felix catches on, shifts it back with a smile and leans in to kiss them away.
Let’s make many memories together
He concludes and Felix beams at him with a toothy smile and half-moon eyes.
“Man, that are the lamest vows I’ve ever heard.” Someone, Jeongin, he realises, says from the slight crowd of six assembled before them.
“Hush, don’t interrupt!” He hears Jisung whisper, voice shaking dangerously.
“It’s not even a real wedding,” Jeongin retorts, and Changbin shoots a glare into the younger’s direction.
“No, no, no, shut up Innie, don’t bring this up again- “Minho says, but it’s too late, because Jisung’s already crying. Chan sighs and Hyunjin slaps the back of the youngest’s neck. “I told you it was a sensitive topic!” Minho whisper-yells, and Seungmin rubs his eyes tiredly, Chan is on the ground comforting Jisung who is noisily blowing his nose. Hyunjin, Minho and Jeongin break out into a quiet argument and when he captures Seungmin’s gaze, he just smiles at Changbin, signalling them to go on. Changbin nods and turns back to Felix.
The blonde has, despite everything, the sunniest and most gorgeous smile on his lips and he can’t help but return it in full.
“Let’s create many memories together.” He whispers, and Felix nods, leaning forward to lock their lips in a promising kiss.
We still have the rest of our lives together
Felix reassures him, voice soothing. Changbin can’t help the sob escaping him. “I know… I will just miss you so much.” He’s powerless to suppress the quiver in his voice. Felix pulls him close, manoeuvring Changbin’s head into the crook of his neck. The blonde’s scent fills his lungs and eases his heavy heart.
“It’s just for two months. You’ll be back before you know it.” The blonde soothes him, rubbing his back while settling their heads together. Changbin snuggles closer to him, clutching tightly and peppering his neck with kisses.
“I love you so fucking much.” He sighs and Felix hums, kissing the top of Changbin’s head.
“I love you just as much, never forget that.” The blonde’s tone has become shaky too. He draws a last deep breath, inhaling the smell that he loves so much and burns it into his memory. He brings a slight distance between them - their eyes find each other as tears stain both their cheeks. A wobbly smile plays on his lips as he realises how dramatic they’re acting. It’s just two months. He kisses both of Felix’s cheeks, his forehead, nose, eyelids and lastly his lips. Felix giggles, smacking his forehead a little too firmly against Changbin’s.
“Ouch, careful you.” Changbin laughs and hears the speakers announce his flight. They both glance at each other, smiles vanishing as fast as they had come.
“I’ve got to run.” He pecks the blonde’s lips for a last time. “I miss you already, my cute sunshine. Please don’t forget about me in these two long, long months.” He jokes and, in parting, Felix smiles and replies:
I’ll never forget you, you dummy. You’re the love of my life.
Changbin states and lifts his glass to clink it gingerly against the broad, dull headstone. There’s a smile on his lips, a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes anymore. He kisses the stone before kneeling and deftly arranging the glass in front of it.
“Cheers to the wish for you to be here.” With a last, loving caress over the cool surface, he stands up. His eyes stay on the elegantly sculpted stone until his throat constricts with emotion. Swallowing the pain down, he turns and goes towards the exit.
Until we meet again, Lix
I’ll forever carry your sunshine in my heart
.
“Memories bring back memories bring back you.”