Archive of Our Own ^beta

Lancelot was in love with Gwen until he wasn’t; he didn’t know when it happened. He didn’t know when he fell in love with Merlin, or how he got so addicted to Merlin lighting up when their eyes met, but he did know he would treasure the moment he realized it until the day he died. 

They were sitting around a campfire on the last night of a patrol when Gwaine said something rude to Arthur and Merlin snorted so hard he inhaled his soup. He was sent to hacking it up, eyes watering, still breathless from laughter. Lancelot clapped him on the back, chuckling, when Merlin cast him a glowing look, face flushed and eyes bright, and suddenly Lancelot couldn’t breathe. 

Arthur shouted at Merlin for laughing at him and in the process snapped Lancelot out of his revelation. He coughed awkwardly and glanced around, hoping no one had noticed his epiphany. Much to his embarrassment, however, it seemed every knight who wasn’t Arthur had knowing eyes locked on him. 

Whoops. 

Well, the knighthood was a sacred bond of trust meaning: they wouldn’t sell him out, right?

After that, it seemed like Merlin was everywhere and Lancelot couldn’t keep his eyes off him. Arthur stood before the knights on the training grounds in the middle of a lecture and Lancelot zeroed in on Merlin as he passed behind Arthur, hauling a load twice his size. Lancelot watched him plop down on a bench and pull out armor to polish, oblivious to the eyes landing on him. 

“Helloooo! Earth to Lancelot!” Lancelot’s attention snapped back to Arthur and he felt a flush creeping up his neck. The rest of the knight snickered and elbowed each other in the background. “What on earth are you staring at?” Arthur followed Lancelot’s gaze, eyes passing over Merlin like he was just part of the scenery. Lancelot supposed he should be grateful. 

“It’s a real mystery,” Gwaine teased.

“It’s not like you to stare at nothing ,” Elyan added. 

Lancelot shot the two of them a glare before turning back to Arthur. 

“Apologies my lord, it seems I didn’t sleep well last night,” he invented. He glanced over at Merlin and blanched when he saw blue eyes fixed on him, looking concerned. Lancelot looked hurriedly back to the blue eyes looking at him with far more annoyance than concern. 

“Well, you can’t always expect a good night's sleep before a battle, so I expect you to keep yourself together.”

“Of course, my lord. Apologies again.” 

The rest of the knights were smirking and wagging their eyebrows at one another, but Lancelot ignored them and raised his sword again, forcing himself not to look at Merlin again for the rest of the training session. 

Lancelot nearly jumped out of his skin while he was putting away his equipment when Merlin suddenly spoke at his shoulder. 

“I could have Gaius make a sleeping draught for you.” 

“What?”

“If you’ve been having trouble sleeping, I could bring a sleeping draught by your chambers tonight.”

Merlin at his chambers. Tonight. He glanced around and caught a few of the knights giving them smug side glances. 

“That won’t be necessary.”  

“Are you sure? It’s no trouble. Gaius used to make them every day for Morgana, I’m sure he has all the necessary ingredients for it laying around.” 

“Really, Merlin, I’m fine,” he turned back to his task and felt Merlin disagreeing before he even spoke.

“See, the thing is you need a good night’s sleep or you won’t be at your best in case of emergency.” Out of the corner of his eye, Lancelot saw Leon grin and shake his head. 

“You’re going to do it no matter what I say, aren’t you?” Lancelot asked. Merlin nodded. 

“Yup.” Lancelot laughed. 

“Thank you, Merlin.” 

“Of course.”

I looked like Merlin was about to say something else, but his name echoed against the castle walls and he turned and ran after Arthur, who was glaring at him. Lancelot could hear Arthur fussing after Merlin for dawdling as they walked away. 

Once they were gone the knights converged on Lancelot like scavengers to a corpse, all wearing mocking grins. 

“Merlin seems awfully concerned with your health, Lancelot,” Elyan said. 

“It is the same with everyone, he is very kind.” 

“Indeed he is,” Gwaine agreed, laying an arm around Lancelot’s shoulder. 

“I can tell why you like him so much,” Leon added. 

“Indeed, he is a very dear friend.” Maybe there was still a world where he could convince the knights he had no romantic feelings for Merlin. 

“But you’d like him to be more than that, wouldn’t you?” Percival asked. Lancelot sighed, guess not . 

“Do you think Merlin knows?”

“Course not,” Gwaine said, “he’s clueless.”

“And Arthur?” Leon actually snorted. 

“No way, he’s even worse than Merlin.” Lancelot nodded. That was something at least. 

“Have you considered telling Merlin how you feel?” Elyan asked. 

“It’s… not so simple as that,” Lancelot said, remembering the shadowy evening when Merlin tearfully confided the tragic story of the druid girl he had loved. 

“And what makes it so? You like him, and he lights up every time he sees you,” Gwaine said. 

“Merlin’s been through a lot,” Lancelot told them, taking care not to betray Merlin’s trust. “I fear any advances from me may only serve to make him uncomfortable.” The knights all nodded in understanding, apparently not needing any more details. 

“Ah yes, we’ve all had our hearts broken a time or two,” Gwaine commented. 

“Gwaine more than the rest of us,” Elyan jabbed. Gwaine scoffed while the rest of the knights laughed. 

“You just need to convince him you’re different than the person who broke his heart.” 

Oh yes, and how would that conversation go? Oh hello Merlin, I have no plans to die in the near future, want to get a drink with me?

“I appreciate the advice,” Lancelot said, sliding Gwaine’s arm off his shoulders and turning to face the knights, hands raised. “But really, I think it best for now to give Merlin his space.” 

“Or are you just stalling because you’re afraid he’ll say no?” Percival asked. 

“What you need to do is spend some time alone with him, you know, let him know you’re interested.”

“Fat chance of that, Arthur never gives him any time off.” 

“Really, I appreciate your concern, but I won’t cause Merlin any further distress by confessing my feelings to him.” He turned and strode away before they could say anything else. 

A knock at his door startled him and before he had time to pull a shirt on Merlin let himself in. 

“Merlin!” Lancelot exclaimed, catching sight of the vial in Merlin’s hand and remembering his lie from earlier. He cursed himself for forgetting and undressing, but Merlin hadn’t even seemed to notice. 

“I brought your sleeping draught, you need to take it at once, and it tastes really bad, so it’s best to do it quickly.”

“Thank you, Merlin,” Lancelot said, taking the vial. Merlin clasped his hands behind his back and looked at Lancelot expectantly. “You’re going to stay here until I take it, aren’t you?” Merlin nodded. Lancelot sighed and tossed the potion back. 

“That’s foul .”

“To be fair I did warn you,” Merlin chided. Lancelot nodded and sat down on the edge of his bed, pulling off his shoes. 

“Alright, I’ve taken the potion and I’m ready for bed. Are you happy?” Merlin grinned and nodded, sweeping out of the room and tossing a quick goodnight over his shoulder. Lancelot shook his head and smiled before leaning back on his pillows and drifting off to sleep.

“Lancelot.” 

He groaned and turned his face away from the source of the noise. 

“Lancelot.” Someone was shaking him awake. He tried to swat them away and heard a quiet and familiar chuckle. “Lancelot you overslept. Wake up.” He cracked his eyes open and felt suddenly wide awake. He jerked upwards, forcing Merlin to jump back to avoid being headbutted. His brain was foggy and all he could see was Merlin standing over his bed and he couldn’t figure out why he was there.

“Whoa there, relax. Arthur isn’t angry with you. I told him it was your first time taking a sleeping draught and Gaius is used to mixing them strong because Morgana’s visions were hard to suppress.” 

“Right,” Lancelot said slowly, trying hard to force his addled brain away from the way the morning light was outlining Merlin like an angel. 

“Up you go,” Merlin declared, grabbing Lancelot by the wrists and dragging him to his feet.

“What are you doing?”

“Arthur sent me to help you get ready, you’re already late and he doesn’t want any more delays.” The idea of Merlin helping him dress was far too much for his potion fogged brain to handle right now. 

“I’m able to dress myself, Merlin.” 

“Of course you are, you’re not Arthur, but having me hear will make things go faster.” His eyes flashed gold and the dresser door flew open, a clean shirt flying into Merlin’s open hand. “See?” 

“Merlin, you don’t have to act like a servant around me.”

“I don’t mind!” Merlin said brightly, glancing over his shoulder at Lancelot’s nightstand. 

The water pitcher lifted into the air and poured water into the bowl beside it. Another flash of Merlin’s eyes and the water was steaming lightly, a light fragrance emanating from the steam. He wagged his eyebrows at Lancelot, who couldn’t help but grin back, despite his trouble forming a coherent thought. It wasn’t often Merlin decided to show off. Lancelot washed his face as Merlin busied himself gathering Lancelot’s things. Every so often his eyes would flash and Lancelot’s bed would make itself or something would fly across the room. 

Lancelot was grateful that Merlin’s tidying kept him busy enough for Lancelot to pull his own shirt on. 

“Oh here, let me,” Merlin offered, grabbing Lancelot’s next layer and holding it out for him to shrug into. Lancelot sighed and obliged. Merlin’s warmth at his back was almost too much for him. Though washing his face had done a lot to clear his mind he still felt remarkably like he’d had a flagon or two of ale. He had to avoid looking at Merlin at times because he feared what he might do. 

“Really, Merlin, you haven’t got to wait on me.” 

“It’s no problem, I like helping you,” he replied, picking up Lancelot’s chainmail and helping him slide it over his head. 

When Lancelot’s head emerged from the neck hole he and Merlin were practically nose to nose. His breath caught in his throat, and before he could stop himself he was leaning forward for a kiss when the ever oblivious Merlin leaned around him to grab his shoulder plating. Lancelot looked away, forcing his breath steady as Merlin did up the many buckles and clasps on his armor. Be more careful, Lancelot! He forced himself not to sigh in relief when Merlin stepped away. 

“I trust you slept well at least,” Merlin said, “sorry again the draught was so strong, Gaius hasn’t made any since Morgana betrayed us.”

“It’s no problem.”

“Not that you’re missing much, Arthur woke up in a bad mood today. It may or may not have something to do with the goblet of water I poured on his head to get him up.” 

“So he didn’t so much wake up in a good mood as you put him in one with your actions,” Lancelot retorted.

“Pretty much.” There was a brief pause before the two of them burst out laughing. “He looked like a wet rat!”

“So I guess I’ll have that image to comfort me whilst he’s running us ragged.” 

“Glad I could be of service.” Lancelot laughed again. 

“Merlin will you ever stop being so… so…”

“What? Charming? Brilliant? Funny? Handsome?” Lancelot rolled his eyes, barely containing a snort of laughter. 

“Infuriating.”

“Oh, that. Never. I can’t stop or I’ll die.” 

“And we wouldn’t want that.” 

“Course not, who would protect Arthur then?”

“The knights perhaps?”

“Right,” Merlin said, “and who would protect the lot of you? Face it, Lancelot. You’re all hopeless without me and the others don’t even realize it.” On impulse, Lancelot grabbed Merlin’s arm as he reached for Lancelot’s belt. 

“They don’t, but I do, Merlin. I know what you do for us and I’m eternally grateful to you, even if the others aren’t.” 

Merlin’s lips parted slightly in surprise, and Lancelot couldn’t help but glance at them. 

“Right…” Merlin said quietly, looking down. “Thank you, Lancelot.” 

“No, Merlin, thank you.” Merlin nodded shyly before taking a step back. 

“Right, well, you’re dressed, and Arthur is waiting.”

“My sw-” before he could finish Merlin’s eyes flashed and the sword flew into his hand. He grinned conspiritally to Lancelot while passing him the blade. 

Predictably every single one of the knights gave Lancelot suggestive looks when he arrived at the training grounds late, with Merlin. He decidedly ignored them, and Merlin was oblivious, as always, mind busy with the next task. 

After training while Lancelot was putting away his equipment and Merlin was on the other side of the yard doing his chores the knights all approached Lancelot, though Percival was the first to speak. 

“So what happened this morning?” 

“I overslept, apparently Gaius makes the sleeping draughts really strong out of habit.” 

“Yeah, we heard Merlin telling Arthur that,” Elyan said, “we want to know what happened when Merlin went to get you!” 

“He… helped me dress,” Lancelot admitted, cheeks flushing. 

“What?” The knights cried out collectively, catching the attention of Merlin and Arthur from across the lawn. Lancelot raised a pacifying hand to them and turned annoyed eyes back to the knights. 

“Well now you have to tell us everything,” Leon said. 

“Nothing happened!”

“Nothing? He helped you dress! Did you at least give him a good show of what he was missing?” Gwaine asked suggestively. 

“Gods, Gwaine, it wasn’t like that,” Lancelot protested. “I’m still wearing the pants I slept in, he just helped me with my armor. I couldn’t stop him he’s so… stubborn . He also somehow managed to clean my room and collect my washing, all in the time it took me to put on my own shirt.” The knights all looked disappointed. Obviously they’d been hoping for a juicy story. 

“Look. I told you all yesterday, I’ve no intention of ruining our friendship by confessing my feelings to Merlin. I’m perfectly happy the way we are now.” 

“The longing looks you’re constantly giving him tell a different story,” Percival jabbed. Lancelot shot him a warning look and brushed past the knights, done with their teasing for the day.

“Actually, Arthur, Gaius needs me to gather some vital herbs in the eastern woods for him tomorrow,” Merlin said apologetically.

“Lancelot will go with him!” Gwaine snapped, so quickly Arthur startled and looked at him like he was crazy. 

“What? Why? It’s not like he’ll be going far,” Arthur replied. 

“Gwaine is right, for once,” Elyan said, catching on. Lancelot sat helplessly by, determinedly avoiding Merlin’s gaze as the knights all voiced their ascent. “There’s been rumors of bandits in those woods.” 

“Well if you’re all so worried about him then fine, Lancelot will go with Merlin for protection… in the eastern woods.” He shook his head like the decision still made no sense to him, and while he was distracted Gwaine sent Lancelot a thumbs up. 

I’m going to kill him . 

“Here, Lancelot,” Gwen said, presenting him with a saddlebag. “It’s a picnic lunch for you and Merlin.” 

“Thank you, My Lady. May I ask what made you think of us?” Lancelot asked suspiciously. 

“Elyan asked me to, and for some reason he asked that I keep it from Arthur,” her expression said she knew exactly what the reason was. 

“Thank you, again, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I wanted too. Merlin’s my best friend and I just want him to be happy, a desire I’m sure you share.” She smiled knowingly before approaching Merlin and telling him to take care on his journey.

Lancelot was loathe to do it since this was obviously the knight’s wretched plan. It was clearly a date, it couldn’t be anything other than a date, and yet Merlin had no idea of the conflict in Lancelot’s mind as he searched the underbrush for whatever herbs Gaius had sent him out for. He looked so beautiful there in the dappled light, concentration on his face and a quiet tune on his breath. 

As beautiful as he was he was also terribly skinny. Lancelot knew he skipped meals more often than he would admit to, and most definitely more often than was healthy. He did need to eat, and wasn’t it his duty as Merlin’s friend to ensure he took better care of himself? Not to mention the Queen herself had gone to the trouble of packing them lunch, so they should really eat it, no matter the intention of the rotten knights who had bamboozled him into going on this not-a-date-date. 

“Merlin, perhaps we should break for lunch.”

“Go ahead, I didn’t pack anything.” Of course he didn’t. 

“That’s alright, Gwen packed something for both of us.” 

“That was kind of her,” Merlin said, surprised. He considered a moment before nodding. 

“Over here, then,” Lancelot said, indicating a flat area near where the horses were tethered. 

Lancelot opened the saddlebag and found a blanket folded neatly on top. 

“It seems the Queen thought of everything,” he said, holding it up.

“She’s like that,” Merlin laughed. “Always worrying.”

“Sounds familiar,” Lancelot said pointedly. Merlin rolled his eyes, which flashed gold an instant later. The blanket was ripped from Lancelot’s hand as it unfolded itself and settled gently on the ground between them. Lancelot tried to set out their meal but that too was taken magically from his hands and set out for him. 

“Are you going to let me help at all?” 

“Sorry,” Merlin said, “It’s just I don’t usually get to show off. Gaius doesn’t like me using magic unless it’s absolutely necessary.” 

“Of course, forgive my thoughtlessness.” Merlin gave him a funny look as they settled onto the blanket.

“It’s alright, Lancelot. I’m grateful to have you. I felt so alone before, sometimes it feels like you’re the only one I can talk too.” All the more reason not to take that from you by asking for more than you may be able to give. Lancelot sighed, then flashed Merlin a cheeky grin. Merlin returned it curiously. 

“Go on then.”

“What?” 

“Show off.” Merlin’s grin took on a sly edge, then fell slightly. “What?” 

“Gaius doesn’t like me too.” 

“Well I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Merlin, Gaius isn’t here.” 

Merlin’s precious smile returned and he glanced around, looking for inspiration. Lancelot thought he’d found it when Merlin pressed his upward turned lips between his teeth. With Merlin’s attention diverted from him, Lancelot allowed his eyes to linger on them for a beat before Merlin’s voice rumbled out of his chest in the otherworldly growl that so mismatched the lanky awkward boy that Lancelot found himself pining for. 

With a golden flash of his eyes the air around them was filled with the scent of flowers. Right before Lancelot’s eyes wildflowers sprang up and bloomed all around them. He laughed in amazement. Of course, of course Merlin’s way of showing off would be to make the world around them more beautiful. 

“Incredible.” 

“Not really,” Merlin dismissed, reclining while his waterskin poured them drinks, “it’s not a difficult spell.”

“You just created flowers out of nothing!” Merlin shook his head. 

“The flowers were already here, just dormant. All I did was coax them out.” Lancelot shook his head in disbelief. 

“Still, that’s amazing. You’re so modest.” Merlin chuckled. 

“Or maybe you’re just easily impressed. Perhaps one day you’ll get to see me do some real magic.” 

“You mean like killing a griffin.” 

“Fair enough. See it again, then.” 

“I look forward to it.” Merlin gave him an amused and incredulous look, but said nothing else. 

Lancelot lost count of all the times Merlin’s eyes flashed during their lunch. There wasn’t always something that Lancelot could perceive, and he couldn’t help but wonder what Merlin had done those times. He did see, however, that every time Merlin used his magic and Lancelot didn’t flinch seemed to soothe some deep part of Merlin’s soul. He looked more relaxed than Lancelot had seen him look since they’d met. 

“Since we’ve gotten most of what we need, we should probably be heading back soon,” Merlin said, sitting up. Lancelot remained on his back. 

“There’s no need, Arthur isn’t expecting us back until days end, and he gives you precious little time off.”

“Sir Lancelot, are you proposing we neglect our duties?” 

“Not at all,” Lancelot began, “I’m merely suggesting that you take a break so you can continue to perform your duties to the best of your abilities. You can’t keep going at this pace forever with no breaks. Since we’ve got the day to ourselves you should rest, maybe take a nap. I’ll stand guard.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Perhaps I’ll even collect the valerian for you, since I know what it looks like.” Merlin grinned. 

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Get some rest, Merlin, lord knows you need it.” Merlin nodded, like he still didn’t quite believe this was happening and laid back down, closing his eyes.

Lancelot sat up and cleaned up the remnants of their picnic before packing it away in their saddlebags. After seeing that the horses were tended to he allowed himself to return to Merlin’s side. Lancelot watched his peaceful expression, for the first time in a while allowing himself to imagine what it would be like to wake up to this sight everyday. Usually he tried to keep those thoughts out of his head to avoid unnecessary heartache, but after their peaceful day out together and the quiet lunch coupled with the scent of magic-summoned flowers it was hard not to wonder if, one day, Merlin might be open to love again. 

No doubt the knights were patting themselves on the back for how well their little hustle had went, Lancelot was even grateful it had provided Merlin with some much needed rest, but it certainly hadn’t gone however the knights were hoping it would. In fact, it may have even had the reverse effect, further impressing upon Lancelot the importance Merlin placed in their relationship and convincing him even more of the cost Merlin would pay for losing that relationship should Lancelot’s confession strain things between them. He pushed away his musings on how it would feel to awaken beside him again, scolding himself. 

Lancelot turned away from the sleeping sorcerer and began searching for the valerian he had promised to collect. 

About two hours passed peacefully before Merlin stirred and opened his eyes, stretching like a cat. Lancelot turned to him and smiled softly at the sleep rumpled Merlin, still in the process of waking up. 

“Morning, sunshine.” Merlin chuckled sleepily and ran his hands through his hair. It stuck up in every direction as Merlin looked around to get his bearings. 

“How long did I sleep?”

“Only about two hours. You could sleep a little longer if you want, it’s not quite time to come back yet.” Merlin shook his head. 

“No, we still need to pick some valerian.” 

“I got it, there was some about fifty yards west of here.” Lancelot held it out to Merlin, who took it, looking impressed. 

“Sir Lancelot, master of the sword and connesuire of medicinal herbs, is there anything you can’t do?” Lancelot chuffed, get you out of my head. 

“Yes, a great number of things.”

“Name one.”

“Magic.” Merlin laughed. 

“Alright, fine. I made it too easy.” 

“Here, there’s a creek not far that way, why don’t you pack up the blanket and prepare the horses while I refill the water skins?” Lancelot asked. Merlin tossed his waterskin to Lancelot in answer and leaned over to pick up the blanket. 

The snap of a twig followed by the pounding of feet alerted Lancelot to danger. He spun and drew his sword, clashing swords with a bandit. Lancelot pulled back then struck again, taking out the bandit then stepping straight into a defensive position against the next bandit. He dispatched that bandit with the same ease as the first before sprinting in the direction of the campsite. 

“Merlin!” He cried, “Merlin!”

Lancelot came barreling into the clearing, only to see Merlin calmly packing up the horses like nothing was wrong. 

“What?” Merlin asked, looking up curiously from the saddle he was securing. Lancelot looked around the clearing, then gestured incredulously at the haphazard pile of four unconcious bandits. 

“Oh, them. Yeah I handled them. Guess you missed me doing real magic again,” he joked. Lancelot shook his head. “What, you didn’t think that a few bandits were enough to take me on, did you?” 

“Of course not,” Lancelot lied, exasperated. Merlin smirked knowingly. “You really are incredible, you know that?” Merlin shied away from the complement, hiding what Lancelot suspected might be a blush.

The two of them were in surprisingly good spirits when they rode back through the gates of Camelot. Arthur happened to be passing through the courtyard when they rode in and he stopped to greet them. 

“Well you two are certainly cheerful, I trust you had a successful trip.” 

“Indeed, we got everything Gaius needed, and we even happened upon some rare herbs on the way home,” Merlin said, dismounting. 

“I’m assuming your trip was uneventful and this was a terrible waste of Lancelot’s time.”

“Not at all, my lord,” Lancelot told him. “In fact, we were attacked by bandits while we were out.” Arthur recoiled in shock.

“Really? Were either of you hurt?”

“No, they weren’t very good bandits,” Merlin joked. 

“Indeed, they attacked while I was fetching us water and Merlin took out all but the two who ambushed me on his own,” Lancelot explained, before Merlin could invent some wild tale of Lancelot’s heroism. The annoyed look Merlin shot him said he’d been about to do exactly that. Lancelot shrugged in fake apology. He deserved a little recognition every now and then. 

Arthur’s laugh faltered when Lancelot leveled a serious look at him. 

“Something funny, my lord?” 

“Well it’s just- you don’t mean- Merlin really took out a group of bandits on his own? How many were there?”

“About four I think.” Lancelot could practically feel the annoyance radiating from Merlin, who was remaining stubbornly turned away, fiddling with his saddle. 

“ Four bandits? On his own?” 

“Yes well they weren’t very good bandits, as I said,” Merlin snapped, tossing his saddle bag over his shoulder.

“They mustn't have been if they could have been taken out by one unarmed servant,” Arthur said, looking pleasantly surprised at Merlin. 

“Exactly,” Merlin replied, firing a look of warning at Lancelot that even he dared not challenge. 

“Still, Merlin, I’m impressed. Perhaps you aren’t entirely useless after all.”

“No I’m pretty sure I am.” 

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

“It’s alright, I forgive you.” Arthur laughed again and Lancelot shook his head, astonished by how masterfully Merlin diverted Arthur’s attention from his accomplishment. “I should be getting back to Gaius, he’ll be needing these herbs. Lancelot would you mind stabling the horses?” 

“Not at all,” Lancelot said, wincing at the look Merlin was giving him. He was in trouble. 

“So, I hear your date yesterday was crashed by bandits, such a shame, and after all the trouble I went to to set it up for you,” Gwaine said, approaching Lancelot before training the next morning. 

“It wasn’t a date, Gwaine, we were gathering important herbs.”

“I’ve gathered herbs in that area with Merlin before, it didn’t take all day.” 

“I suppose you weren’t attacked by bandits either.”

“True, but Arthur made it sound like they were small fry, Merlin defeated them, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” Lancelot said simply, afraid any extra bragging would only land him in deeper hot water with Merlin.

“I still can’t believe Merlin took out four bandits on his own,” Leon said, “very impressive.” 

“Indeed, he’s a lot more capable than that you all give him credit for.”

“It would seem so.” 

“So go on then, tell us what happened for the rest of the day. Merlin and the princess aren’t here yet so you can speak freely.” 

“Nothing happened! We ate the food that Gwen packed for us and Merlin took a nap.” 

“A nap?” Elyan asked. 

“Yes, Arthur never gives Merlin time off. I thought he could use the rest.”

“I should have known the great Sir Lancelot would be too noble to use a day off to his advantage,” Gwaine mocked. 

“I told you all before, I have no intention of distressing Merlin with unwanted advances. It was good for him to get some rest, anyway.”

“I give up,” Elyan said. “We can’t help him, he’s too selfless for his own good.”

“Who says your advances would be unwanted, though? You’re a knight, there’s a crowd of people vying for your affections,” Percival said. 

“Merlin spends all his time around knights, I hardly think he would be impressed by my title. Now will you all please leave me in peace?”

“Never. That’s what friends are for,” Gwaine said. 

Arthur exited the castle just then, Merlin in tow. Even from this distance Lancelot could see that his face was a good deal more relaxed. 

“See,” Lancelot pointed out, determined that the knights should at least understand his decision to let Merlin rest, if not his decision to keep his feelings private. “Look how much better he looks after a decent meal and a nap.” 

“You may have a point,” Leon said, observing Merlin critically. “He does look much better.” 

“I don’t think I realized how tired he looked before,” Gwaine said thoughtfully. “Alright I take it back, you did the right thing. Besides, now he’ll have the energy to be properly romanced!” Lancelot made a disgusted sound and strode away from the knights and their teasing laughter. 

The not-a-date-date had one side effect that Lancelot hadn’t been counting on. In the following days it was much more difficult for Lancelot to keep his eyes where they were supposed to be and off of Merlin. He seemed to be everywhere in the castle. Not that Lancelot was complaining about seeing Merlin, only that fate seemed to be playing a cruel joke where every time he crossed paths with the servant one of them was too busy, or it would have been inappropriate to speak to him. The knights were now teasing Lancelot about the way he perked up around Merlin, and how he would be left grinning like a fool after encountering him for mere moments. 

Still, he found himself eagerly awaiting their brief encounters, especially the way Merlin’s entire aspect changed when he caught sight of Lancelot and the optimistic lilt of Merlin’s voice when he said Lancelot’s name. 

“Lancelot!”

It was like the first breath of air after emerging from underwater everytime. 

“Lancelot?” His eyes snapped back to Arthur. 

“What?” The knights around him stirred with something just shy of annoyance, but said nothing. He needed to pull it together.

“I asked you to ride out with a few knights to meet Lord Godwyn and his daughter, Elena. They come on a goodwill visit to congratulate my marriage.” 

“Of course, my lord.” 

Naturally, Lancelot’s eyes found Merlin as soon as he entered the courtyard with Lord Godwyn and Princess Elena. He stood at Arthur’s side, as he always did, but he’d changed his shirt from this morning, and as they got closer Lancelot found himself having a hard time focusing. It had to be new, Lancelot had never seen it before, and the deep purple looked really really good on him. He tore his eyes away from Merlin as their horses stopped in front of the assembled welcoming committee. 

“Here, princess, allow me to assist you,” Lancelot offered. 

“No thanks,” she said simply, dropping to the ground on her own and rounding the horse to take her father’s arm. 

“Don’t take it personally, son, my daughter is an expert rider. She hasn’t needed any help mounting or dismounting a horse since she was eight years old.”

“I even beat your king in a horse race the last time I was here,” she said, shooting Arthur a teasing look. He laughed. 

“I maintain your false start was cheating.” 

“I maintain I could beat you fair and square.” Arthur grinned, shaking his head. 

“Lord Godwyn, Princess Elena, it’s wonderful to see you again.” Arthur embraced Lord Godwyn and kissed Princess Elena’s knuckles. “Elena I’m sure you remember Merlin.” Merlin stepped forward and bowed. Lancelot turned his whole head away, determined not to stare. 

“It’s a pleasure to see you again,” Merlin said, rising from his bow. “I trust our Lancelot has treated you well.” Merlin grinned at him. He returned the grin, struggling not to look like he’d just been punched in the gut.

“He seems to be a very fine knight.”  

“You honor me with your compliment.”  

“Merlin, why don’t you show her to her room?” Arthur asked. 

“Of course, my lord.” He shot one more blazing grin at Lancelot before escorting the Princess Elena away. “We’ve put you up in the best guest chambers, and I’ve personally prepared everything for you-” The door snapped shut behind him and Lancelot returned to reality, thankfully before he was missed. 

The last time Princess Elena visited it was Lady Morgana who kept her company at the feast, but since she was no longer an option that duty had somehow fallen to Lancelot and Gwaine. Gwaine was entertaining her with exaggerated and less than flattering stories of Arthur and the other knights while Lancelot chimed without enthusiasm. He wasn’t being very good company, preoccupied as he was by looking at Merlin more than was entirely necessary. Merlin was occupied attending the king, wearing his finest clothes and looking handsome, and Lancelot was certain no one in the busy hall was paying him any mind. He felt much safer to let his eyes linger than he normally did. 

“Have you told Merlin how you feel about him, Sir Lancelot?” Lancelot inhaled his drink while Gwaine guffawed at his expense. 

“Pardon me, my lady?”

“Merlin, does he know you love him?” Gwaine laughed and said something that might have been “this outta be good.” 

“I’m not sure what you mean.” 

“Forgive me if I’m being too intrusive, but you’ve been staring at him all night, and this morning when you saw him it looked like you’d forgotten how to breathe. Admittedly that color suited him very well.” 

“Indeed,” Lancelot said without thinking, then felt his face flame as he realized what he’d said. 

“Lancelot here is hopeless, no matter what we do we can’t get him to confess to Merlin,” Gwaine informed her, apparently more than willing to sell him out. “But perhaps you will succeed where the knights have failed.” He pointedly ignored Lancelot’s glare. 

“Are you afraid he won’t return your feelings? He speaks quite highly of you.”

“Not exactly- wait, what?” Lancelot asked, her words finally processing. 

Princess Elena smiled knowingly and took the opportunity to tease him by taking a slow, deliberate sip from her goblet. 

“You were all he could talk about this morning. He asked if I liked you then told me you were the noblest and bravest of all the knights. He said Arthur and Camelot were lucky to have you.” 

“Well that was rude of him, I’m his best friend too!” Gwaine complained. Lancelot and Elena both ignored him. 

“He is… very kind,” Lancelot said quietly, trying to will the blood out of his face. “But it is he who Arthur is lucky to have. He is the most loyal and generous soul I know.” Elena smiled. 

“Indeed, but what is keeping you from telling him that?” 

“Cowardice,” Gwaine gruffed, taking an unceremonious swig from his mug. 

“Let him answer!” Elena scolded gently. 

“I-it’s complicated.” 

“And here I am with naught but time.” Gwaine laughed again. 

“I don’t think you have a choice, mate. She’s going to make you spill your guts.” 

“Indeed I will. I can be very persuasive, so it’s best to just give in now.” Lancelot sighed and took a moment to compose his thoughts. 

“Merlin has lost much, I am fearful any advances on my part may only cause him further distress. I wish only to bring him happiness.” 

“And you do not believe you could do so as his lover?” Lancelot choked on the word lover but tried to move past it. 

“Being a knight is a dangerous job, my lady, if anything were to happen to me I fear he would blame himself. It’s in his nature to feel responsible for the people he cares for.”

“He clearly cares for you a great deal already, so by your own logic he would already blame himself.” 

“Probably,” Lancelot said, suddenly feeling very tired. 

“So then what’s stopping you from telling him how you feel?” Lancelot opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again as Gwaine burst out laughing. 

“Oh I like you, Princess,” he said, loudly enough that Merlin looked over and quirked an eyebrow at him. He strode silently around the table and approached them. 

“I hope Gwaine is treating you well, Princess. Not talking your ears off,” Merlin said, pouring Gwaine another drink. “He gets obnoxious when he’s drunk.”

“I’m not drunk, there’s a lady present!”

“I know, that’s why I’ve come to check that you’re behaving.” Lancelot chuckled. 

“Don’t worry, Merlin, Gwaine hasn’t done anything horribly inappropriate, just telling mean stories about Arthur.” Merlin laughed. 

“Did he tell you about the time he fell asleep in his bowl of stew and attended training the next day with it in his hair?” Elena snorted, then covered her mouth.

“No, did Arthur really do that?” Merlin nodded, lips pressed tight against a grin. 

“I’m afraid so, he’s a bit of a mess.” 

Merlin leaned past Lancelot to grab his cup, and when he did he pressed quite close to avoid entering the princess’s personal space. Lancelot forced his face to remain neutral as he accepted the glass, their fingers brushing on the outside, and thanked Merlin. 

“I think Arthur is looking for you, Merlin,” Gwaine said, indicating the King, who was craning his head around to look behind him. 

“Right, duty calls.”

Lancelot watched Merlin return to his master’s side, thinking about what the Lady Elena had said. As he watched he saw Merlin say ‘just checking that Gwaine wasn’t driving the princess mad,’ and Arthur nodded approvingly. ‘Good idea.’

“You see, princess, how unfair everyone is to me? They’re always giving me a hard time.”

“I can’t imagine why,” she chuckled. 

Everyone had expected Lancelot to be worried, to be going to pieces. Percival had even grabbed him like he meant to drag Lancelot away, but he wasn’t worried. He knew better than to think Merlin was going to be hurt. They were only bandits. Merlin was, though he was reluctant to admit it, the most powerful sorcerer to have ever lived. He would be fine. 

Arthur, on the other hand, was beside himself. He didn’t have the benefit of Lancelot’s insight into Merlin’s powers. 

“We have to go back for him! We can’t just abandon him to those savages!”

“There’s nothing we can do tonight, sire. We must wait until morning so we can scout a rescue mission,” Elyan reasoned. 

“He might be dead by morning!”

“If they were going to kill him then they will have done it already, if not he’ll still be there in the morning.” 

“Lancelot!” Arthur pleaded, “you’re his best friend, aren’t you worried?”

“No,” Lancelot replied honestly. Every head turned in his direction, shocked. 

“How can you say that?” Gwaine growled, looking ready to brawl. Lancelot raised a placating hand.

“I’m not worried because he’s Merlin . He’s far smarter and more resourceful than you think he is. I wouldn’t be surprised if he manages to free himself by morning and he comes strolling into the camp like nothing is wrong, carrying something he’s found along the way for our breakfast,” Lancelot said, remembering waking up to find a freshly healed Merlin already sporting an armful of fish he’d caught when he’d been attacked by the dorakka. 

“This is Merlin we’re talking about, Lancelot, the one who cowers behind trees during fights?” Lancelot sighed, knowing he couldn’t contradict Arthur’s understanding of those events. 

“Merlin was awake when we left him, I’m sure he’s found a way to keep himself alive.” 

“You’re that sure?” Elyan asked. Lancelot nodded. 

“Are you not, Gwaine? Merlin’s told me about all of your adventures together.” Gwaine paused, then nodded. 

“Lancelot is right. Merlin’s tough, sire. He’ll be alright.” The two men shared a nod of understanding while Arthur looked disbelievingly between the two. 

“Well if none of you will help I’ll just have to go after him on my own.” 

“That would be unwise, sire,” Lancelot said, stepping into his path. 

“And why is that?”

“Merlin values your safety above all else. He sacrificed himself so you could get away. If you storm in now and get yourself killed he’ll blame himself for the rest of his life.” Arthur looked like he wanted to argue further, but instead collapsed on a fallen log, looking sullen. 

“Fine, but we leave at first light.”

“Done.” 

The next morning Lancelot was woken by the smell of cooking meat. He smiled fondly before opening his eyes. When he did open his eyes and sit up he was met with exactly the sight he’d been expecting: Merlin crouching in front of the fire, carefully roasting two rabbits. He smiled impishly when he saw Lancelot was awake. Lancelot eagerly returned the smile. 

“Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning, Merlin.”

“Were you worried about me?”

“Not even a little. Those bandits didn’t know who they were dealing with.” 

Merlin chuckled and Lancelot scooted back to lean comfortably against a tree, observing Merlin in the half light. He didn’t have any visible bruising, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been roughed up, and Lancelot knew Merlin too well to expect any indication of injury in his movements. 

“Did they hurt you?”

“No, I think they were planning to sell me to slavers and didn’t want to damage the merchandise.” 

“Merlin?”

“Yeah?”

“The truth.” 

Merlin sighed. “They roughed me up a bit, but honestly Arthur’s given me worse in training.” Lancelot nodded. 

“All right.” He smiled and Merlin smiled back, breathing life into the air as he did so. 

“Arthur was worried sick. I thought we’d have to tie him up to keep him from storming in after you.” Merlin smiled to himself. 

“Yeah, but he doesn’t know me like you do.” The two shared a conspiratorial grin. “Not like he’d ever admit he was worried, though.” 

“He’ll probably scold you for delaying the trip.” Merlin snorted. 

“Probably.” 

A sleepy groan pulled their attention away from each other and toward Arthur, who was stirring. 

“Lancelot who are you talking too?” He sat up and turned to Lancelot, who chuckled and pointed. “ Merlin ?” Arthur exclaimed, head jutting forward in disbelief. 

“Good morning, Arthur, breakfast is almost ready,” Merlin said, smiling innocently. 

“ Merlin !”

“What? It’s your favorite, rabbit!”

“What the hell happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were captured by bandits !”

“Oh, yeah, I escaped.” 

“What’s all this shouting about- Merlin!” Gwaine said, chuckling. “I should have known.”

“Merlin!” Leon exclaimed, laughing in disbelief. 

“Lancelot was right, even about the breakfast,” Elyan said, looking past Merlin to the fire. “It smells great.”

“It’s nearly ready.” 

“Where’d you get them?”

“I stole them from the bandits when I snuck out of camp.” The knights, save for Arthur, chuckled with Merlin. 

“Merlin, don’t you think you’re forgetting something?” 

“Like what?” 

“Mind explaining how you escaped from the bandits?”

“Oh, well it was easy. I just waited until they all fell asleep, knocked out the one standing guard, stole the rabbits for breakfast, then left. Oh, also this,” Merlin reached into his pocket and pulled out a familiar leather pouch and tossed it to Arthur. Coins jangled inside when he caught it. Arthur looked incredulously between Merlin and the money bag.

“I recognized it, you must have dropped it in the chase.” Leon laughed again. 

“Well done Merlin!” He exclaimed, looking suitably impressed. Merlin smiled at him before turning back to the rabbits. 

“I don’t understand how you could have possibly snuck out of the bandit camp, you’re the clumsiest person I know!”

“Not when my life depends on it, it seems. Now stop shouting. They’re probably going to wake up soon and realize that I’m gone. We need to be finished eating and out of here before then.”

“Right you are Merlin,” Gwaine said, “how long till the rabbits are done?” 

“Should be ready now!” The knights all got to their feet and lined up eagerly to tear off a piece of rabbit meat, Arthur last of all because he was still trying to process what had happened. 

“You never cease to amaze me, Merlin,” he said when it was his turn. 

“Good, otherwise you’d get bored.”

Once all the knights were tearing into their breakfast Merlin tried to start breaking camp, but Lancelot stopped him. 

“No way, you’ve had quite the night, you need to eat too.”

“I’m fine, Lancelot. It’s better if we leave quickly-”

“ Eat ,” Lancelot insisted, placing both his hands on Merlin’s shoulders and forcing him down onto a fallen log next to Leon. Leon cast him an amused look but kept on eating his rabbit leg. “I’ll break camp if you’re so worried about it.” 

Lancelot tore a large chunk of rabbit meat off what was left of their breakfast and shoved it into Merlin’s hands. He noticed the other knights shooting him amused looks, but he was more concerned with the glimmer of understanding Arthur’s eyes had started to take on as he watched Lancelot worry over Merlin. 

“You can’t possibly expect me to eat all that,” Merlin complained. Lancelot shot him a stern look and he bit back whatever it was he was about to say. 

“I’ve never seen anyone but Gaius shut him up like that before,” Arthur commented. 

“Yes my lord, I suppose it’s one of my many gifts.”

“Could you teach it to me?”

Lancelot broke camp while Merlin ate and soon they were riding back to Camelot in good spirits despite the harrowing night before. On a couple of occasions Lancelot caught Arthur watching him watch Merlin, but the king said nothing. 

Once they were all back in Camelot and had dismounted their horses Merlin left with the stable hands to assist with stabling the horses. Lancelot watched him go, smiling softly. When he looked around he saw Arthur looking between Merlin and himself, connecting the dots everyone else already had months ago. 

“Lancelot are you-”

“ Yes ,” the knights chimed together. 

“You didn’t even let me finish my question,” Arthur said, turning to them even as Lancelot’s cheeks colored slightly. 

“You were going to ask if he’s in love with Merlin,” Elyan said.

“Congratulations, you’re officially the last to know,” Gwaine told him. 

“Other than Merlin,” Leon amended. 

“Really? All of you knew? How?” 

“We have eyes,” Percival answered, drawing a laugh from the rest. Arthur looked back to Lancelot, who just shrugged. 

“How come you haven’t told him?” The others groaned loudly, rolling their eyes. 

“What?” Arthur asked, confounded. 

“We’ve been trying to convince him to confess for months,” Percival said, sounding more annoyed than Lancelot really thought was merited. 

“But he won’t! He always uses the same excuse.”

“It’s not an excuse!”

“What’s not an excuse?” Merlin asked, startling all of them. He took a half step back, alarmed. “What?”

“Merlin, I thought you were helping with the horses,” Arthur snapped. 

“I was, but they sent me back with all our stuff,” Merlin replied, confused by Arthur’s sudden ire. Indeed he was comically laden down with all of their belongings. 

“Good, go and put them in our rooms for us.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously, Merlin. You’re a servant, that’s your job.” 

“But they’re so heavy, and you’re all standing here about to go to your rooms yourselves!”

“Now, Merlin!” 

Merlin shot Lancelot an incredulous look before lumbering away up the stairs, laden down with bags. Lancelot took the opportunity of Arthur’s distraction to flee rather than discuss his reluctance to tell Merlin he loved him any further, especially with the words of Princess Elena still rattling around in his head. 

His reasons for keeping his feelings private were sound, he knew that. So why was he still feeling the doubt that this was about protecting Merlin anymore?

A week passed in relative peace and Lancelot was beginning to feel that his fear of Arthur finding out about his feelings for Merlin had been irrational until Merlin tracked him down in the castle halls, his smile less bright than usual. 

“What’s the matter?” Lancelot asked. 

“It’s just, Arthur has been asking me a lot of questions about you, recently.” Lancelot stiffened. Not so irrational after all . “About your love life.” Very rational!

“And?” Lancelot asked, careful to keep his face neutral. 

“I think he thinks you’re still in love with Gwen.” 

Lancelot burst out laughing, unable to stop himself. Merlin could not have been any farther off the mark. Merlin looked slightly taken aback. 

“I don’t think so, Merlin. I’m not, anyway.” 

Merlin blinked in surprise, and for the tiniest flicker of a moment Lancelot saw something in his eyes that sparked hope in his chest, but it was gone so fast he thought he may have imagined it.

“Really? When did that happen?”

“I’m not sure,” he said honestly. “One day I just realized I wasn’t.”

“And you didn’t think to tell your best friend?” No, because I realized I was in love with you. He honestly sounded offended. 

“Sorry, Merlin, it just didn’t occur to me that not being in love was something that merited sharing.” 

“Well it does when you previously were in love!” Lancelot smiled fondly. 

“I promise to tell you the next time I fall out of love.” 

“Good,” Merlin said, with feigned haughtiness. 

“Is that all you came to say? That you were worried Arthur might think I was in love with his wife?”

“I was worried it might become a conflict between you, I didn’t want it to affect your relationship.” 

“You are kind to worry, Merlin, but I don’t think you need to.” Merlin nodded. Lancelot started walking again and Merlin fell into step beside him, obviously not done with the conversation. 

“What do you think he’s on about, then?”

“I don’t know, Merlin. Maybe he’s heard a rumor, you know how they spread around here. Maybe he has someone he wants to set me up with.”

“Who could he possibly want to set you up with? The only people he knows are knights, me, and Gwen.” Lancelot sealed his lips tightly and looked determinedly forward. “Well, he knows Gaius too. Maybe he thinks you like older men,” Merlin teased, snorting at his own joke while Lancelot barked a surprised laugh. 

“Merlin, if Arthur is trying to set me up with Gaius I will resign from the knighthood and live the rest of my life as a travelling fool.” 

“You should ask Gwaine for tips.” Lancelot burst into laughter, actually stopping to put his hand on Merlin’s shoulder for balance as the two of them laughed even harder. 

“Merlin you are on fire today.”

“Guess I’m just in a good mood,” he said, still grinning. 

“Well, thank you for the entertainment, but I’m due on patrol soon.” Lancelot squeezed Merlin’s shoulder affectionately before departing, a broad smile still on his face. 

“I knew this was a bad idea,” Lancelot laughed, smile stretching his lips as Merlin stumbled into yet another random object. 

“I’m not drunk!” Merlin protested. At least that’s what Lancelot thought he said.

“One ale has you singing like a sailor, and you’ve had two. I think you’re wasted.” Which wasn’t to say Lancelot was sober , just less drunk than Merlin. Still in the morning he would find himself cringing at how closely he’d held Merlin, and the way his hand had rested on his hip. 

“Not!”

“Oh yeah? Stand up straight!” Lancelot let go of Merlin and he dropped like a rock. Lancelot laughed harder than was entirely necessary, then bent down and scooped Merlin into his arms. The world spun because of the sudden movement, but he was able to stay upright. He sighed and cradled Merlin close to his chest, overwhelmed by the feeling of rightness. 

“I can walk!”

“And yet I will carry you anyway,” Lancelot said. 

He walked mostly without stumbling all the way from the castle close, humming in contentment. At some point during the trip, Merlin snaked his arms around Lancelot’s neck and rested his hand against his shoulder. Lancelot rested his cheek on Merlin’s hair for a moment, but didn’t let it linger there. He righted himself and carried Merlin all the way home. 

“Oh, Merlin,” Gaius sighed as Lancelot carried him inside, now barely awake. “How many did he have?”

“Two,” Lancelot answered, grinning. 

He carried Merlin all the way to his room and laid him gently on the bed before tucking the blankets around him and pressing a gentle kiss to his temple. 

“Night, Lancelot,” Merlin murmured. 

“Night, Merlin.” 

He hadn’t really done that, had he? He’d had a few drinks, but surely not enough for him to kiss Merlin goodnight. And then there was the way he’d been holding him before that, but maybe Merlin wouldn’t remember. He’d been lucid enough to say goodnight, though. Oh no. This was bad. 

“Eh, Lancelot, what happened after you and Merlin left together last night?” Gwaine teased. He recoiled a little at Lancelot’s distressed expression. “Whoa now, whatever you did it couldn’t have been that bad. What happened?” 

“I may have… tucked him in and kissed him on the forehead,” Lancelot groaned, smacking himself on the forehead. 

“You did what?” Leon asked. 

“I… tucked him in and kissed him on the forehead,” Lancelot repeated, resigned. 

“That’s certainly, um, tender?” Elyan said, trying hard not to sound like he was making fun. 

“Maybe Merlin will be in to that sort of thing,” Percival suggested. 

“Maybe he won’t remember,” Lancelot said, “he was really drunk. I had to carry him.” 

He received a few sympathetic pats on the back from the other knights. The castle doors opened and Arthur and Merlin made their usual procession across the lawn and Lancelot pretended not to notice, turned away and regretting his life decisions. 

“Good luck, mate,” Percival said as Arthur ordered the knights into their positions. 

Lancelot couldn’t help but glance over at Merlin and was surprised to find the servant already looking at him. Merlin smiled sweetly before returning to his work and Lancelot faced the front,  wondering if that smile meant that Merlin did or did not remember the kiss. 

Lancelot decided to swallow his pride and approach Merlin first once training ended, though not without a little apprehension. When Merlin looked up and saw Lancelot approaching he flashed one of those dazzling grins that took Lancelot’s breath away. 

“Good morning, Lancelot.”

“You’re looking well.”

“Gaius’s hangover cure.” Lancelot grimmaced, remembering the rancid liquid that nevertheless did its job well. 

“Some things are worth it, I suppose.” Merlin nodded. 

“I don’t think I could handle Arthur shouting at me with a headache like the one I had.” 

Merlin pushed Arthur’s armor to the side and patted the bench beside him. Lancelot sat gingerly, sparing a momentary glance to the rest of the knights, who were all watching unashamedly. Gwaine shot him a double thumbs up. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, then.” Merlin nodded. 

“I wanted to thank you for taking care of me last night, I don’t know why I let Gwaine talk me into having a second drink.” Lancelot laughed. 

“Actually, I wanted to apologize.” Merlin quirked his head in confusion. “I fear I may have acted inappropriately.” A glimmer of understanding flickered in Merlin’s eyes.

“No, you didn’t. I thought it was very sweet.” 

Lancelot smiled to himself, the hope that had bloomed in his chest starting to spread. He opened his mouth to ask Merlin to spend the day with him sometime when the ever oblivious Arthur screamed Merlin’s name and Merlin spun around, smile gone. 

“Duty calls,” was all Merlin said before he swept up his things and hurried after Arthur. 

Lancelot groaned in frustration, for the first time feeling something like animosity towards his king. He leaned back all the way and flopped off the bench onto the ground, sighing heavily. The crunching of several pairs of boots on grass told Lancelot that the knights were approaching. 

“Better luck next time,” Percival said. 

“But there’s good news and bad news,” Elyan said. “The good news is that it appears Merlin was in to being tucked in.” 

“And the bad?”

“The bad news is Arthur keeps him so busy you’ll never get any time alone together,” Gwaine finished. 

The entire world was shaking. Lancelot knew it was Merlin’s doing. For Arthur. Always for Arthur. 

“Go!” He shouted. 

Lancelot had no intention of going, but several pairs of hands grabbed him from behind and dragged him away. It took four men to get him away from the place where Merlin had collapsed the ceiling to protect them from Morgana. He kicked and screamed every inch of the way. 

“Release me!”

“There’s nothing you can do for him now, Lancelot,” Elyan said, voice strained. 

“I will not leave him!”

“Morgana has an entire army, Lancelot, there’s only six of us!” Percival said. 

They dragged him for miles. It was slow going with Lancelot wrestling to get back to Merlin, but eventually, they decided they were safe and stopped. The second he was released Lancelot made to go back to Merlin, but the knights formed a wall to stop him in his tracks. 

“Move out of my way,” he growled. 

“Lancelot you need to calm down,” Leon said. 

“I will be calm when we’ve rescued Merlin!”

“We can’t rescue Merlin, Lancelot,” Leon said carefully. “Morgana has him, we’re no match for her.”

“Then we sneak him out without a fuss!”

“You can’t seriously be suggesting we try to infiltrate her camp?” Arthur asked. 

“He would do it for you, and you know it!”

“Lancelot, I’m sorry, but I fear Merlin may no longer be alive,” Arthur said, looking like he was going to be sick. 

“I can’t just give up on him, Arthur. Would you, if it were Gwen?” Arthur stilled, then met Lancelot’s eyes appraisingly. Lancelot tilted his chin up defiantly. 

“Alright, so we organize a rescue mission.”

“Arthur, you can’t be serious,” Leon interjected. 

“You don’t have to come, Leon. None of you do,” he turned to the rest of the knights, “but Lancelot and I are going after him.

“What else would I be doing?” Gwaine asked, stepping forward. Lancelot smiled. 

“What’s taking them so long?” Gwaine hissed, eyeing the camp with annoyance.

“Have patience Gwiane, we don’t know where she’s keeping him. We have to have our eyes open if we’re going to spot her from this distance.”

“There are a lot of places this plan of yours can go wrong, Lancelot. What if she isn’t with him?” 

“Oh she’s with him,” Lancelot said, his stomach-turning, “she hates him as much as she hates Arthur, she’ll want to see that his death is slow and painful personally.” Gwaine blew out a troubled breath. 

Not even a minute later there was a large explosion to the north of the camp and everything started to buzz at once. Lancelot scanned the activity carefully, focusing on the tents. 

“There!” Gwaine whispered. 

Lancelot followed his pointing finger and his eyes landed on Morgana Pendragon, standing illuminated at the entrance of a tent just outside the center of the camp. She seemed to be in the middle of a heated exchange with a soldier. She shoved him out of her way and strode in the direction of the explosion, and Lancelot exhaled a sigh of relief, praying that his friends would be safe when he saw them again. 

“What are we going to do if Merlin isn’t in there?” Gwaine asked as they darted from shadow to shadow. 

“Search every tent until we find him.”

“Sounds hopeless and futile.”

“And let me guess, you like the look of those odds?” Gwaine chuckled. 

“Am I really so predictable?”

“Yes.” 

The two of them circled around to the back of the tent in question and carefully peered between the flaps. Gwaine swore when he laid eyes on Merlin; he was hanging limply from the tent supports, missing his shirt and covered in bruises and cuts, and what Lancelot thought might be burns, but it was hard to tell in the half light. All Lancelot could think was that it wasn’t as bad as he’d feared. 

“In and out, quiet. I get Merlin and you get his things.” Gwaine noded. 

They slipped into the back of the tent, Lancelot cutting Merlin down and easing him into his arms while Gwaine gathered his shirt, jacket, and scarf. The front tent flap opened and a guard walked in to check the status of the prisoner. 

“Hey, what do you think you’re do-” Gwaine buried his sword in the man’s chest, but it was too late, there were already alarmed shouts from outside, asking what was the matter. 

Gwaine slashed the canvas open and they ran through, swords drawn. They fled, Lancelot with Merlin slung over his shoulder to allow better use of his sword arm. 

They had anticipated the possibility they would have to fight their way out, which was why Arthur and the others were creating a diversion to distract the biggest threat, Morgana. Merlin stirred, and suddenly there was a scream behind them. Lancelot turned just in time to see a soldier go flying backward. Lancelot couldn’t help but smirk. 

“Do you ever give it a rest, Merlin?”

“What’s rest?” Lancelot snorted. “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.” 

Lancelot and Gwaine were able to fight their way out, with a little help from Merlin, and they rode all night to the rendezvous point. Merlin sagged, unconscious, against Lancelot’s chest once the danger had passed. They had to ride slower than they would have liked to avoid jarring Merlin’s wounds, but they still made it to the rendezvous point by first light. 

They had chosen this place because the Camelot patrol was due to be passing through this morning, providing backup that they might need if Morgana decided to pursue them. When they rode into the campsite Lancelot was relieved to see the others were relatively unhurt, with Elyan sporting the only obvious injury on his head. 

“You got him!” Arthur exclaimed, jumping to his feet and looking relieved. “We should get going.” 

“His wounds need treated at once,” Lancelot said. 

He placed Merlin into Arthur’s extended arms and dismounted. He took Merlin back straight away, unable to stand even that small amount of separation at this point. He strode to the fire and laid Merlin gingerly on the ground, pulling his shirt off. A current of horror passed around the camp, palpable in the silence. 

“You were right to insist we go back for him, Lancelot, but none of us know how to treat wounds, Merlin was our physician.” 

“Where’s his medicine bag? I think I remember enough from when I stayed with him to cleanse his wounds.” 

“You think?” Merlin groaned. “I won’t have you poisoning me by mis-” 

And then Lancelot was kissing him desperately, overcome with relief that Merlin was awake and of sound mind. He scooped Merlin into his arms and held him tightly against his chest, reassuring himself that Merlin was really here, really fine. Merlin kissed him back, winding his hands into Lancelot’s hair and tugging him closer. Someone wolf whistled. Eventually Merlin groaned and pulled away, his smile contorted with a wince. 

“Sorry, but you’ve got ahold of a burn.” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Lancelot said, setting Merlin down carefully. 

“It’s fine. More than fine, really,” Merlin replied, grinning. 

“Here, let me help you, we’re just a days ride from Camelot, so if you walk me through it I can cleanse your wounds to avoid infection until we get you to Gaius.” Merlin nodded. 

“Alright.” 

Merlin took Lancelot through every step of cleansing then wrapping the wounds, and he did so gently and with the utmost care while the others hovered nervously out of the way. Once that was done, Merlin even insisted on tending to Elyan himself, saying he was well enough for this, at least. 

On the way home Merlin rode with Lancelot, nuzzling comfortably against his neck. 

“I was worried about you,” Lancelot murmured. 

“Good call, Morgana really hates me.” 

“What did she do to you?” 

“Nothing someone less powerful couldn’t have done. Luckily she didn’t have any really nasty magic on hand.” Just to be sure Lancelot slid a hand to the back of Merlin’s neck and felt for a severed snake head. “Don’t worry, she isn’t controlling my mind,” he chuckled. 

“Just thought I’d check.” 

“I killed that beast the first time she used it on me. You saved me, fair and square.” 

“But did I? You saved me from that mercenary back there. You may as well have saved yourself.”

“I helped, but I wouldn’t have been able to get away if you hadn’t gotten her out of that tent.” Lancelot nodded and pressed a kiss to Merlin’s temple. 

“How’s our patient?” Arthur asked, riding up beside them. Merlin and Lancelot looked around, both wearing small smiles. 

“Better, your majesty. Thank you for saving me.” 

“Lancelot insisted. Besides, servants are hard to come by. If you’re feeling better I trust you’ll be at work tomorrow.” Merlin rolled his eyes. 

“Of course, sire.”

“My lord,” Lancelot protested, “he’s been tortured.” 

“Alright, fine, the day after tomorrow,” Arthur ceded, pulling a face like it was the terriblest of inconveniences. 

“Saved my life and got me a day off. My hero,” Merlin said, grinning at Lancelot.

“Yes, well I am the one who gave you the day off, and I drew fire from Morgana so Lancelot could sneak you out, so perhaps I should be your hero.”

“I thought you said you only did that because Lancelot insisted,” Merlin shot back, eyebrows raised. 

“...right.” Merlin laughed as Arthur fell back, prevented from saying he’d been worried by his own pride. 

“We’re only a few hours from Camelot, Merlin, why don’t you get some rest?”

“Alright.” 

Two days later before their morning training Merlin surprised all by striding right up to Lancelot and kissing him square on the lips in greeting. 

“Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Lancelot replied, slightly stunned. Arthur shook his head, then turned to the rest of the knights to begin training. 

Lancelot approached Merlin rather eagerly at the end of training, and was glad when Merlin planted a quick peck on his lips. Arthur called for Merlin and he shrugged apologetically. 

“I’ll see you later,” he said. Lancelot nodded, then pulled Merlin in for another quick kiss, reveling in his ability to do so and the private smile Merlin gave him before trotting after Arthur. 

It was the tragedy of their everyday lives that Merlin and Lancelot were so busy with their duties that their only shared moments were stolen in the shadows of alcoves and pillars while Arthur shouted for Merlin in annoyance. Still the smiles that had breathed so much life into Lancelot before were now followed by quick kisses on the cheek as they passed each other by. 

“I wish we had more time together,” Lancelot murmured into Merlin’s hair one day as they enjoyed a few quiet moments before Arthur realized Merlin was gone. 

“Well I could… come over tonight. After work, and bring food,” Merlin offered shyly. Lancelot kissed Merlin sweetly. 

“That sounds great.” 

The knock at Lancelot’s door brought a smile to his face, and before he opened it he did a quick glance around the room at the candles he’d set out. It wasn’t much, but he was certain Merlin would appreciate the effort.

Lancelot grinned when he opened the door and saw Merlin carrying a tray of food and wearing that purple shirt that suited him so well. 

“I may have noticed you like this color on me.” Lancelot chuckled and stepped to the side to allow Merlin entry. He stopped when he caught sight of the candles Lancelot had set out and the warm fire in the hearth. 

“I know it’s not much, but I thought I could do something nice for you since you brought me dinner.” 

“I love it. No one’s ever done something like this for me before.”

“Well then I shall endeavor to change that.” He took the tray from Merlin and set it to the side, then pulled out a chair for him. 

“A knight with manners, how rare.” 

“In all fairness, it’s easy to treat you well. You’re so good to the people around you, it makes me want to be good to you.” Merlin looked down, pressing his smile between his lips. 

“I’m glad we decided to do this, I don’t think I could have stood Arthur interrupting one more kiss.”

“Well we’ve got all the time in the world now,” Lancelot said, taking Merlin’s hand and pressing a kiss to his palm. 

“Yeah, we do,” Merlin agreed, gazing at Lancelot with eyes glowing with warmth. 

“Why do you look at me so?” Lancelot asked, half choked. “It’s enough to make a man go mad.” 

“Sorry,” Merlin said, looking down at his plate, smiling. “It’s just, you’re the only person who sees me. Really sees me. The others think I’m an idiot, or useless, but you know exactly who I am- what I am and-” he hesitated. 

“What?” Lancelot prompted. 

“You’re the only person who knows what I am and isn’t afraid of me. You don’t think I’m a monster,” his voice broke and his face crumpled. Merlin turned away to conceal his tears, but Lancelot got to his feet and rounded the table, drawing Merlin up into his arms. 

“Of course I don’t think you’re a monster, I never have. One day everyone else will see you just as I do.”

“How can you be sure? Because Lancelot, I’m starting to lose hope that that day is ever coming.”

“Then I shall just have to have hope enough for the both of us,” Lancelot said, heart aching. Merlin wrapped his arms around Lancelot’s neck, sniffing quietly. As quickly as he had started crying, however, he stopped and pulled away. 

“Sorry about that,” he said, wiping his eyes. “I don’t know what came over me. This was supposed to be a romantic night.”

“It still is, Merlin. You don’t have to hide from me.” Merlin smiled. 

“I know.” Lancelot pressed a kiss to Merlin’s temple and brushed his hair back, “but let’s get back to our date, shall we? I was having a good time.”

“As was I,” Lancelot said, smiling. 

Lancelot sighed and rolled over, eyes cracking open to take in the sight before him. Merlin slept peacefully beside him, illuminated by the early light of dawn. He smiled as he thought about how not long ago this seemed like such an unattainable dream, but now he lived with the promise of this sight for many mornings to come. 

Lancelot reached out and adjusted the covers around Merlin. He stirred, eyes opening, and he flashed Lancelot a sleepy smile.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“I was already starting to wake up, it’s almost time to see to Arthur’s breakfast, but I’ve got a bit.” 

“Lucky me, I miss you when you’re gone before I wake.” Merlin smiled and turned his face away, embarrassed. 

“Why do you care for me so?” He asked when he turned back around. Though his voice was light his eyes contained the weight of the question. Lancelot shifted and pulled Merlin closer. 

“There are lots of reasons. I admire your bravery and selflessness, but your kind and generous heart are what made me fall for you I think. Then there’s those enchanting eyes of yours,” Lancelot joked, grinning proudly at his own pun. Merlin tried hard to conceal his smile, and resorted to kissing Lancelot to cover it up when he failed. Not that Lancelot was complaining. It wouldn’t be so bad if Merlin were a little late to work. 

“Why do I feel like I’ve given the two of you the day off for a romantic outing rather than for herb gathering?” Arthur asked, watching the two of them pack their supplies, looking put out. 

“I’m going with Merlin for protection, same as always,” Lancelot said. 

“You’re not even wearing armor,” Arthur pointed out.

“That’s the point,” Merlin interjected. “It’s a deception.” 

“A deception?” 

“Yeah, the last time we did this the bandits waited for us to split up because they could tell Lancelot was a knight, so they thought we’d be easier to take one on one. If they think we’re just normal people they’ll attack when we’re together and we’ll have a better chance.” 

“I suppose that makes… some sort of sense.” 

“Here, Merlin, I packed a picnic for the two of you,” Gwen said, holding a bag out to him. 

“See!” Arthur exclaimed, “I knew it was a date! You’re skipping work!”

“And like you’ve never skipped out on your duties to spend time with me,” Gwen pointed out. 

“Yes, well, alright. Fine. You have my permission to go on your date, Merlin.”

“I appreciate that, sire, but it’s not a date.”

“The punishment for lying to your king is a week in the stocks, Merlin.”

“Indeed, it’s a good job I’m not lying then.” 

Arthur threw his hands up in surrender and watched as the knight and servant mounted their horses. 

“Stay safe and have fun!” Gwen called after them. 

Once they were out of the city Lancelot turned to Merlin, smiling. “So where are you taking me?”

“What do you mean?”

“For our date, where are you taking me?” 

“Oh, up in the mountains. Gaius needs some herbs that only grow at high altitudes.”

“A romantic place for a picnic as well.” Merlin smiled. 

“Yeah, I have a place in mind, actually.” 

The two of them managed to collect everything they needed before lunch, which left the rest of the day open for running and playing. 

Merlin tried to dart past Lancelot only to be seized around the waist and pulled close, both were breathless with laughter as Lancelot used their positions to gain easy access to the side of Merlin’s neck, pressing several kisses there before releasing Merlin and darting away. 

“Why don’t you show me some real magic?” Lancelot challenged, jogging ahead. Merlin chased after him, a broad grin stretching his face. 

“You can’t handle real magic!” Lancelot laughed at the pluck that so rarely made an appearance. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!” 

Lancelot ran into the treeline, turning frontward to avoid tripping on roots, casting looks over his shoulder to be sure Merlin was keeping up. 

“Prove it, then!” Merlin grinned and shook his hand before throwing out his hands and shouting out a spell. Suddenly Lancelot was caught around the stomach and lifted off his feet. He gaped at the vines wrapping around themselves him like a python, suspending him several feet in the air. 

Merlin strutted into his field of view, cocky and grinning. 

“To be fair you did ask me to,” he said with mock pity. 

“I did indeed,” Lancelot said, trying to find a more comfortable position inside his vine cocoon. 

“I’m afraid struggling is futile.” 

“It would seem so. The question now is, what are you planning to do with me now you’ve caught me?”

“Oh I’ve a few ideas,” Merlin said, grinning slyly. 

Merlin cocked his head to one side and the vines tipped Lancelot upside down and he watched everything that had been in his pockets fall to the ground. When the vines steadied again he was nose to nose with Merlin and his coy smile. Merlin pulled Lancelot’s face closer and kissed him deeply. Lancelot smiled into the kiss, leaning in to the kiss as best he could in his current situation. 

Unfortunately, Lancelot had to pull away, shaking his head. 

“Sorry, but I think I’m about to pass out.”

“Guess I’m just that good at kissing,” Merlin quipped, though his eyes flashed and the vines set Lancelot gently on his feet. He swayed slightly and Merlin reached out to steady him. Lancelot accepted his help gratefully. 

“Perhaps we should have our lunch now, I think I need to sit down for a while,” Lancelot laughed, one hand pressed against his head. 

“Sorry,” Merlin said sheepishly. 

“It’s no problem. You were right, you are a good kisser. It was worth it.”

“I can kiss you when you’re right side up, you know.”

“I look forward to it.” 

The two of them walked together back to the horses and set up their picnic on a bluff with a view of the valley, the high turrets of Camelot peeking through the trees in the distance. 

“It feels different, being away from Camelot,” Lancelot said after a while. 

“Freeing,” Merlin offered. 

“You’re right.” 

“Being there all the time can get oppressive, like a weight on my soul.”

“I can’t imagine.” 

“It’s okay, though, it won’t always be this way, Arthur will one day overturn the ban on magic and I can be free.”

“Looks like someone found his hope again,” Lancelot said, grinning. Merlin nodded. 

“It helps having someone to confide in,” he smiled sweetly at Lancelot. 

“Glad I could be of service,” Lancelot said, setting down his goblet so he could cup Merlin’s cheek. Merlin nuzzled into his palm, then ducked his head to press a kiss to the inside of Lancelot’s wrist. 

“What would I do without you?”

“Be just as strong and brave as you’ve always been, I’m sure.” Merlin smiled and looked down, biting his lip. Lancelot tucked a finger under Merlin’s chin and gently lifted his head and kissed him reassuringly. 

“You’re so good to me, Lance,” Merlin said. Lancelot raised an eyebrow, then leaned in for another kiss. 

“I think I like that nickname a lot. You’re definitely the only one allowed to use it, though.” 

“Oh, don’t I feel special?”

“You are incredibly special, Merlin.” 

They returned to their meal, enjoying each others quiet company; and when they were done Merlin moved their dishes out of the way to snuggle up to Lancelot, resting his head on his shoulder. Lancelot returned his embrace and laid back, dragging Merlin down with him. They wiggled until they found a comfortable position, then relaxed in the sunlight, looking out over the valley. 

“If you could go anywhere, do anything, what would you do?” Merlin asked. Lancelot gave him a funny look, but considered his answer nonetheless. 

“I can’t think of anywhere I would be happier than I am when I’m with you.” Merlin giggled. 

“You’re such a charmer. Don’t lie, you’ve been taking lessons from Gwaine, haven’t you?” Lancelot laughed. 

“What about you, then?” 

“Don’t tell Gaius, but I’ve always wanted to go to one of those lands where magic flourishes to study.” Lancelot smiled. 

“That sounds nice. Perhaps I could even come with you, there must still be a market for swordsmen in places like those.” 

“Surely,” Merlin agreed. “And if not you can be my assistant.” Lancelot snorted. 

“I would love too.” Merlin sighed sadly. “Can I ask you something? Why didn’t you go there when you left home? Why did you go to Camelot, where Uther was?”

“My mother and Gaius are old friends, she hoped he could teach me and keep me safe, and he has.”

“Well I’m glad you came to Camelot, because if you hadn’t we never would have met.”

“Me too,” Merlin said. 

Lancelot sat on the edge of the dancefloor, politely declining requests to dance. Lancelot was no more a fan of the royal balls than the king, who resisted having them whenever possible. There were, however, a few traditional dances that he couldn’t cancel. Not one to suffer alone, he mandated the attendance of all the knights so that they would be suffering with him at least. 

The other knights had a dance or two, while Arthur seemed socially obligated to dance with anyone who asked him too, including, amusingly, Gwaine, who spent their entire dance acting like an ass for no other reason than to annoy their monarch and entertain the rest of the knights. Lancelot, however had eyes for only one. 

His one was currently passing through the crowd on the other side of the dancefloor like a shadow, head bowed respectfully, carrying a tray of drinks. While Lancelot watched Merlin approached Arthur, who had just finished a dance with his wife, and his respectful mask melted away. He said something, then cracked up at his own joke as Arthur scowled and said something that only made Merlin laugh harder. Lancelot smiled. Arthur grabbed the back of Merlin’s jacket and said something angrily, but Merlin’s lighthearted smile remained, even as Arthur shoved him away into the crowd. Merlin’s respectful servant facade fell more solidly into place the further from Arthur he got. 

Lancelot noticed other cracks in Merlin’s carefully structured mask when the other knights approached him. He said something to Gwaine that had him guffawing, then a few minutes later he made Percival choke on his drink and almost spit it all over a poor unsuspecting noble, but his path never seemed to bring him to Lancelot. Finally Lancelot got to his feet and approached Merlin himself. 

“May I have this dance?” He asked, bowing, hand extended to Merlin, whose eyes widened in alarm. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

“Asking my boyfriend for a dance.” 

“I’m a servant, not a guest!” Color was spreading up Merlin’s neck towards his face.

“I don’t care, and I doubt Arthur will either.” 

“I’m working .” As if to illustrate his point an oblivious guest slammed down an empty drink on Merlin’s tray, then grabbed another. 

“So take a break, Merlin, come on,” Lancelot remained stubbornly in his bow, hand extended. 

“People are staring, Lance!” Merlin hissed. Merlin must be upset to use his nickname in public like this. “I’ll get into trouble!”

“You’re always in trouble,” Lancelot smirked. 

“I can’t!” Merlin backed away a few steps then turned and fled into the crowd. Lancelot sighed and straightened, thinking that going after him now would accomplish nothing. A hand patted his shoulder roughly and Lancelot looked around at Gwaine. 

“That’s rough, buddy.” 

“Thanks, Gwaine.” 

“You might have had better luck if he knew how to dance,” Gwaine suggested. 

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Merlin’s not a nobleman, he’s never had the chance to learn these stupid dances. Come to think of it, you’re not a nobleman either, do you even know how to dance?”

“...now that you mention it-” Gwaine burst out laughing. 

“Well now I’m sorry to have missed that train wreck, it would have been the most entertaining thing to happen all night.”

“Sorry to have disappointed.”

“Here,” Gwiane extended his hand, “I’ll teach you then you can teach Merlin in private -” Gwaine winked, “and it can all be very romantic and sappy.” Before Lancelot could protest Gwaine had dragged him out onto the very middle of the dancefloor, because apparently subtlety was against his code of honor, and arranged their limbs properly. 

“I’ll lead, and then once you get the hang of it you lead.” Lancelot could feel many people staring, including Merlin, who was failing to hide a rather large smirk. 

Gwaine started the dance, giving directions gruffly, though not rudely. 

“How are you so good at this?” Lancelot asked, Gwaine hesitated for a beat. 

“I may not be of noble birth, but I’ve shared my bed with my fair share of noble ladies.” Of course . 

Gwaine was actually a good teacher, and it was starting to freak Lancelot out, but then Arthur decided to retire, which mercifully released Lancelot and the other knights from the social obligation of staying. Lancelot started to flee, but had a better idea. He stole food from passing trays and stuffed it into his pockets, snatching two goblets of wine as he went. 

“Meet me in my chambers,” he whispered in Merlin’s ear, hiding the wine behind his back when Merlin looked after him curiously. These days Merlin spent as many nights in Lancelot’s chambers as he did in Gaius’s, but it was better to be sure he wasn’t planning to curl up in his own bed tonight and miss Lancelot’s romantic gesture. 

He had to make one last stop before going to his own chambers, and though he felt a little rude knocking on the kings door so late, well, he was going to do it anyway. 

“What is it, Lancelot?” Arthur asked, looking at the goblets of wine he held. 

“Is Gwen in here?” 

“Why are you asking for Gwen in the middle of the night while holding two goblets of wine?” 

“Oh, right, sorry, these are for me and Merlin, I stole them from the feast, is the Queen in?”

“I think that created a few more questions about why you need my wife.” 

“Arthur what is it- Lancelot?” Gwen appeared behind Arthur, wearing a nightdress. 

“Hi, My Lady, do you have a music box I could borrow?”

“A music box?” She asked, taking a few steps forward. Arthur stepped to the side, and Gwen caught sight of the goblets in his hands and her mouth spread into a smile. “I do, actually. Let me go and fetch it for you.”

“Thank you, my lady.” 

Lancelot returned to his chambers, carefully balancing two glasses and an expensive music box in his arms. He set everything up then waited for several hours while Merlin helped clean up the feast. He was starting to worry Merlin may have forgotten and gone to bed in his own chambers when the doors opened and Merlin stepped in, holding his side carefully. He stopped short when he saw the impressive-to-be-stolen spread Lancelot had set out. 

“Surprise!” 

Merlin laughed, shaking his head and approaching the table, reaching into his jacket and taking out a cloth bundle. 

“I have my own surprise, I stole this stuff while we were cleaning up.” He grinned sheepishly and set it out next to Lancelot’s food. He’d managed to get much more than Lancelot, but that wasn’t surprising because he’d had magic to aid him.

“Well now I feel less impressive. I wanted to surprise you since you spent all night working. Also, I never got that dance.” Lancelot carefully opened the music box Gwen had lent him and a light tune filled the air. 

“Lance-” Merlin began. 

“Gwaine told me you don’t know how to dance, but don’t worry, I can teach you.” 

“So that’s what that was about? Gwaine taught you to dance?” He smiled knowingly. 

“Yes, and now I can teach you.” 

Lancelot pulled Merlin into his arms and arranged their limbs in the way Gwaine had showed him. 

“I’ll lead.” Merlin nodded, looking carefully down at their feet. 

It didn’t take long for him to become confident enough in the steps that he was able to look back up at Lancelot. When he did so he positively melted at the way Lancelot was looking at him. Merlin leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. 

“I love you, Lancelot.” 

“I love you too, Merlin.” 

They spun peacefully under the soft moonlight, content in each other’s arms. 

“Why did we volunteer for this mission?” Elyan asked Leon, glaring first at Gwen and Arthur in front of them, then Lancelot and Merlin behind them. 

“Because we’re idiots,” Leon said. 

“I thought the two of you were trying to tell us something,” Lancelot teased. 

“Ha ha, you’re so funny,” Elyan retorted. 

“Really, it’s alright, if the two of you are in a secret relationship we won’t be hurt that you kept it from us, right Arthur?” Merlin piled on.

“Of course not, I know a thing or two about secret relationships.” 

“Merlin, it’s best not to piss off the people who are in charge of protecting you,” Leon jabbed. 

“I could say the same for you.”

“What, that you’re protecting me?” Merlin chuckled, turning mischievous eyes on Leon. 

“No, that you shouldn’t piss off the guy who cooks your food.” Lancelot and Gwen both roared with laughter as Leon paled. 

“Right, sorry Merlin. It’s always a joy to be the random two guys on a double date.” 

“It’s not a double date!”

“It certainly feels that way from back here,” Elyan said. 

“Oh Elyan, if you wanted me to pay you more attention you could have just asked,” Gwen teased. Elyan gritten his teeth and hissed at Leon out of the corner of his mouth. 

“It’s Percival and Gwaine’s turn next time.”

“Agreed.” 

“How was your day?” Lancelot asked, wrapping his arms around Merlin’s waist. 

They sat at the dining table in Lancelot’s chambers, Merlin seated in Lancelot’s lap. 

“ Long ,” Merlin said, sagging against Lancelot’s chest. “Arthur has been a nightmare recently. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. What about you?”

“The same, he’s driving the knights hard. I wonder if there’s something bothering him.”

“I’ve been going through his paperwork and I haven’t noticed anything big, but he could be hiding it from me because he knows I do that,” Merlin laughed. 

“None of the other knights know either, so we might as well put it out of our minds and enjoy our evening. After all, it’s a special night.” Merlin smiled. 

“Our anniversary- sort of.” 

“Arthur kept you out all night last night, it couldn’t be helped.”

“It feels like yesterday, but also a lifetime ago that you tucked me in and kissed me goodnight,” Merlin said. 

“Indeed, it feels like you’ve always been in my life.” 

“From now on I always will.” They exchanged a few brief kisses before Merlin’s stomach growled loudly and Lancelot laughed. He plucked a strawberry off the platter and fed it to Merlin, who grinned. 

Merlin picked up the two wine glasses and handed one to Lancelot, then clicked the rims together. 

“To many more years.”

“To many more years.”

Both men jumped when a loud rapping shook the door. 

“Merlin!” He rolled his eyes at Arthur’s tone, sighing and shaking his head at Lancelot. 

“Come in, my lord,” Lancelot said. 

Arthur walked in, but stopped short when he saw their seating arrangement. 

“By all means, Merlin, don’t get up on my account.”

“You came into our space, Arthur.” Arthur opened his mouth to snap something at him, but his eyes landed on the wine glasses they held and the rather elegant spread on the table before them. 

“Am I interrupting something?” 

“No,” Lancelot answered. 

“Yes,” Merlin said. “Our anniversary celebration.” To Merlin’s surprise Arthur actually looked a bit guilty. 

“Oh, apologies, I didn’t know.” Merlin sat his drink down. 

“What did you need, Arthur?”

“Um, nothing that can’t wait until morning. Apologies again for interrupting,” Arthur backed out and closed the door, leaving Merlin and Lancelot confused, but pleased. 

“I don’t think he’s ever apologized to me before,” Merlin said. “Maybe because you’re a knight?” Lancelot shrugged. 

“He respects you as much as he does me, even if he isn’t willing to admit it.” 

“Well, either way, it seems we actually get to spend the whole night together.” 

“It’s a miracle.”

“So, what do you want to do with our free night, then?” Merlin asked. 

“I have a few ideas.”

Lancelot hadn’t seen what had happened exactly, just heard that familiar growl of magic and heard Arthur turn around and shout “what the hell?” and now suddenly he was standing sword to sword with Arthur, one hand on Merlin’s arm to hold him in place. 

“Arthur calm down, let Merlin explain.” 

Behind him he heard Merlin’s breath hitch and knew he was either crying or close to it. 

“Explain? He’s a sorcerer ! A traitor!”

“Merlin’s a lot of things, but a traitor isn’t one of them,” Gwaine growled, stepping forward, a hand on his sword. He and Lancelot met eyes, then exchanged an understanding nod. 

“He’s a sorcerer, but he’s not your enemy,” Lancelot finished. 

“You knew? Both of you?”

“I did, Gwaine didn’t.” 

“How long have you known?”

“I’ve always known. Just as I’ve always known there is no one who you can trust more than Merlin.” 

“How can I trust a sorcerer?”

“Arthur I’m your friend!” Merlin exclaimed, dodging around Lancelot and Gwaine’s attempts to keep him sheltered behind them. 

“A friend wouldn’t lie to me!”

“I had no choice! I could have been executed!”

“If you were my friend you never would have started practicing magic !”

“I was born with magic Arthur! I could move objects with my mind since before I could talk!” Arthur hesitated slightly, taken aback. 

“You were… born with magic?” 

“Yes, Arthur. I’ve always been this way, I can’t help that.” 

“But magic is evil, it always corrupts…” Merlin choked on the same memories Arthur was: Morgana, sweet and kind and generous. 

“No, Arthur,” his voice broke, “the evil is in the hearts of men. I’m not evil, the druids aren’t evil. You know I would never hurt you, I’ve always served you, even when I knew you might kill me if you found out the truth.” 

“I don’t want to kill you, Merlin,” Arthur said quietly, looking around at the man Merlin had sent flying.

“You...don’t?”

“No, I don’t.” Lancelot smiled and lowered his sword, Gwaine’s stance relaxed. 

“I thought you’d be furious.”

“Oh I am, believe me. You have so much explaining to do-”

“Fantastic,” Merlin said dryly. 

“But that man you attacked just now, he was about to kill me, you saved my life even though it could have cost you yours.” Merlin shrugged. 

“I would never let anything happen to you.” Arthur sheathed his sword, then looked at Lancelot. 

“How did you know?” 

“Oh, Merlin killed the griffin,” Lancelot said gleefully, finally releasing a secret he’d been dying to tell since the day he’d gotten it. 

“ What ?”

“Lance!” Merlin snapped. 

“What? It’s not like it has to be a secret anymore!” Lancelot grinned unashamedly, meeting Merlin’s sour look with glee. “Maybe I should tell him everything you’ve done!”

“Lance lot !”

“Yes! Do that! Oh and Merlin, don’t think I didn’t notice you calling Lancelot Lance ,” he teased. Merlin winced. 

“Great. Just great.” 

“Are we allowed to call you that?” Gwaine asked, throwing an arm around Merlin. 

“Why aren’t you surprised?” Merlin asked pointedly. 

“Oh I figured it out years ago, thought I’d give you your space.”

“ What ?” Arthur and Merlin chimed together. 

“How did you know if Arthur didn’t? He spends more time with Merlin than anyone,” Percival asked, seeming to come out of his shocked stupor. 

“Yeah, but I’m the only one besides Lancelot that’s been on one of his secret save the world missions!”

“One of his what?” Arthur asked indignantly. 

“Why?” Merlin snapped, glaring at Gwaine. “Why?” 

“I’m with Lancelot, it’s time you got the credit you deserve!”

“And exactly how much credit is that?” Leon asked. 

“So much,” Lancelot said. “But he’s too modest to take it. I’ll be happy to tell you what I know, but ask Gaius, he will know more than me.” Arthur’s eyes took on another sadistic glint. 

“Oh I will.” 

“And here are the new official chambers of the court sorcerer!” Arthur declared. He flung the door open without ceremony and years worth of dust billowed up into all their faces. 

“God, did something die in here?” Merlin managed, throwing out a hand and hacking out a spell that blew a gust of wind through the chambers, blowing the windows open and casting all the dust into the air outside. 

“You alright?” Merlin asked Gaius, clapping him on the back. 

“Fine, fine.” Merlin glanced around and summoned a chair from the other side of the room, then lit a fire in the hearth with a flash of his eyes. 

“Thank you, Merlin.” 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing you do that.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to doing it,” Merlin admitted. 

“I’m already used to it,” Lancelot said helpfully. 

“Me as well,” Gwaine added. Merlin rolled his eyes. 

Lancelot and Gwaine walked through the outer chamber to look at the sleeping quarters while Merlin climbed the small set of stairs to look at the upstairs storage. 

“Room for two?” Merlin asked when Lancelot and Gwaine returned to the main room.

“Indeed,” Lancelot replied.

“You two will be very comfortable!” Gwaine said. 

“Ha! I thought of that when I picked this place!”

“You mean Gwen did,” Merlin retorted. Arthur frowned. 

“The hearth should fit a decent sized cauldron,” Gaius commented. 

“Too bad I don’t know any potions.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t know where to find any spell books that weren’t destroyed-” Arthur began. 

“I do!” Merlin piped up, coming down the stairs. “I found a whole room of them when I accidentally freed that goblin.” 

“That was you ?”

“Uh… sorry?”

“Unbelievable. I was going to offer to take you down to the vaults and see what you could make of some of those artifacts.” 

“Most of them probably belonged to the druids, and should be returned to them. Some of it may be useful, though.” 

“Might I suggest the crystal of Neahtid remains where it is?” Gaius interrupted. 

“Seconded,” Merlin said with a shudder.

“Noted,” Arthur said. “So what do you think?” Arthur gestured to the room around them.

“I love it!” Merlin pulled Arthur into a hug before he could protest. 

“Alright, alright, that’s good.” Merlin’s grin took on a glint of mischief as he continued to hang on to Arthur. “Release me!”

“You know what I don’t think I will.” 

“ Merlin!”

“Alright, fine,” Merlin said, pretending like it was a horrible inconvenience. 

“Come on, idiot, I need you to prepare me for the ceremony.” 

“Well I guess I’m still your servant until the ceremony.” 

“Whatever are you talking about? Of course you’ll remain my servant.” 

“Wait, are you telling me you expect me to keep up with my duties as servant to you as well as whatever duties will come along with this new position?”

“Naturally.”

“That’s so much work!”

“You’ll figure something out, Merlin. After all, you are a sorcerer.” Lancelot watched, laughing, as Arthur dragged Merlin, scowling, out of the room.

After the party Merlin led Lancelot by the hand back to his new official chambers, stopping by at Gaius’s to get a spellbook and staff from under his bed. Lancelot knew Merlin could still hardly believe his new life, and hoped that spending more time in his official chambers would make this all feel more real. 

Arthur had already started having basic furniture brought into the room during the ceremony so Merlin’s first day as servant/ Court Sorcerer would feel less like a moving in day. It seemed like he was trying hard to make up for all the years Merlin had lived in fear for his sake without actually admitting that’s what he was doing. 

Merlin walked to the center of the room and spun around slowly, no doubt imagining what this room would look like once it was overflowing with magic. When he’d turned all the way around and was once again facing Lancelot he saw him bowing low, hand extended. Merlin smiled, reaching out for Lancelot’s hand even as he asked “haven’t you had enough of dancing, Lance?” 

“Not quite. I’d like to have one more dance with you.” 

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold as Lancelot pulled him close, a fire springing to life in the hearth. The two of them spun peacefully under the soft moonlight, content and looking forward to their real life happily ever after.