Archive of Our Own ^beta

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“Did you have a good nap?” Yoongi asks, his voice gentle as he leans on the doorframe leading into Jimin’s bedroom. “…I made spicy beef soup,” he adds, “you should have some. I already ate, I can bring you a bowl—”

“Thanks hyung,” Jimin croaks, still mostly buried under his comforter. His phone is making generic cartoon noises — he’s probably watching some type of anime. The noises were what had alerted Yoongi that Jimin had probably woken up from his nap. “I’m starting to feel a lot better, actually. I’ll get up and eat in the kitchen in a minute.”

“Okay.” Yoongi nods. “Make sure you keep drinking plenty of fluids though, even if you’re feeling better. Is Hoseok still sick?”

Jimin clears his throat, coughing a little into the back of his hand. “Yeah, he was texting me right before I passed out. Said he was feeling pretty awful. Poor baby.”

Yoongi nods. “Serves him right for insisting on exchanging spit with you when you were already all snotty and gross.”

“Hey!” Jimin tries to act mad, but he can’t stop himself from smiling while he balls up a used tissue and tosses it in Yoongi’s general direction. 

“This is chemical warfare!” Yoongi squawks, acting appalled. Jimin just snickers at him. 

Yoongi scrunches up his nose in a smile “I’m about to run to the store for some cigarettes, can I get you anything?”

“No, I don’t think so hyung, thanks though.”

“Okay, well. I seriously made, like, way too much soup. And since I’m headed that way anyway, I could take some over for Hoseok, it’s barely out of the way. You think he’d want some?”

Jimin grins at him. “Sure. I’m sure Hoseok would love some soup, hyung.”

“What — what, why are you looking at me like that?”  Yoongi asks, already getting defensive.

Jimin just grins wider.

“Jimin—” Yoongi says in a warning tone.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jimin says, arching a brow at him. “You sure you want to go over there for soup-delivery reasons only , and not for, oh, I don’t know, seeing-if-Seokjin-is-home reasons?”

“Pfft.” Yoongi scoffs. “Yeah, I’m sure . I’m over that, you know this. I’ve been over it for ages. I don’t know how I ever thought there was a chance in hell that that guy could be into me in the first place, anyway. He’s way too hot and mean. Always making fun of me. I can’t with him.”

“Alright,” Jimin says, still smiling and not sounding very convinced at all. “Strictly soup-delivery it is then!”

Yoongi nods and turns around to leave.

“Hyung,” Jimin calls after him, “thank you! You’re the best! I’ll text Hoseok and let him know you’re on the way.”

“Yeah,” is all Yoongi says in response. Then he dumps some soup into one of the takeout containers they’ve cleaned to re-use, shrugs on his big red hoodie, pulls his jacket on over it and heads out the door.

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The cold breeze outside bites at the skin exposed by the holes on the front of Yoongi’s jeans, and he mentally curses himself for not having remembered to check the weather app before leaving the house. The temperature’s been rapidly dropping recently and Yoongi shivers a little and wraps his arms around himself while he walks as fast as he can towards his destination. He makes a mental note to put leggings on under his well-worn jeans the next time he leaves the house. 

He wasn’t lying to Jimin when he told him that dropping by Hoseok’s place with soup wouldn’t be out of the way for him, wouldn’t be any problem. But, okay, maybe he was lying just a little bit when he claimed that his motivation was strictly soup-delivery.

It’s not that he thinks anything will ever happen with Seokjin, exactly, he just — wouldn’t mind seeing his face, if he happens to be home, is all.

Sure, he’d had a crush on Seokjin when he’d first appeared in their lives, when he moved in with Hoseok and Namjoon. Jimin and Hoseok had already started dating back then, and Seokjin had started tagging along sometimes to the game nights that Hoseok, Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon got together for on most weekends. And as much as Yoongi would’ve loved to be cool and hide his crush from his always-thirsty-for-knowledge roommate Park Jimin, that simply wasn’t one of his talents.

Yoongi is pretty sure everyone else has a crush on Seokjin too though, in some capacity at least. How could they not, when Seokjin has a face like that? And body like that? And a laugh like — anyway!   It just so happens that Yoongi is the only one of his friends still suffering the sorry fate of being single. Which doesn’t really make a big difference; Seokjin’s way out of his league and he’s made that perfectly clear by not ever taking Yoongi seriously and constantly making fun of him during their hangouts.

It’s not like his crush has completely evaporated just yet though, but Yoongi has no expectations for anything to come of it, so he just tries to ignore it and pretend it’s not there. But right now, well. Between Namjoon being busy moving out to a different neighborhood to live with his impossibly hot boyfriend Jungkook, and Jimin and Hoseok been flu-sick, their little crew hasn’t met up for like a month. So does he miss seeing Seokjin’s impossibly handsome face just a little? Sure. Might be energizing just to catch a glimpse of it, he tells himself. Even if it’s energy born from the frustration I’ll inevitably feel when he opens his annoying sexy mouth to make jokes at my expense. I’ll take what I can get.

He finally makes it to the corner store and gets his usual, a pack of Marlboro lights. He carefully unwraps it and tosses the plastic and paper wrapping into the trash can inside the corner store before heading outside to light himself a cigarette. He takes a long slow drag, savoring the bit of calmness that immediately flows through him. Then he thinks he better start walking again, eager to get out of the cold, and heads in the direction of Hoseok and Seokjin and — well, not Namjoons’s place anymore, weirdly.

A new roommate has moved in by now. He’s someone who Jungkook had referred to them, all part of his plot to cruelly steal Namjoon from them, no doubt. Yoongi doesn’t actually know much about the new roommate, but the few bits of information that Jimin has relayed to him are rather concerning. Jimin has informed him that the new roommate sells drugs, owns a tattoo gun, and has a whole bench in his bedroom that he makes people lay down on while he gives them tattoos with said tattoo gun. The tattoo thing isn’t really that surprising, since Jungkook is covered with them, but Yoongi really hadn’t liked hearing the part about the guy being a drug dealer. Jimin had tried to argue that he was actually “such a nice, sweet guy though!” and that it would’ve been difficult to find anyone better for the empty room anyway, since Namjoon’s old room is significantly bigger than the other two, and not many people are willing to pay that much in rent but still share a place with two other people. The sketchy new roommate, however, had offered to pay even more than Namjoon had been paying, since he was planning to use the room not only to sleep in but also to give tattoos out of. And Hoseok and Seokjin, always looking to save some coin, had jumped at the opportunity.

Yoongi had asked Jimin to swear that he’d never get into hard drugs, which Jimin had done — although he laughed at Yoongi while doing it — and Yoongi had left it at that. He wasn’t really worried about Hoseok. Hoseok wasn’t much into losing control in any type of situation, so him getting into that sort of thing was highly unlikely. 

Jimin had tried to interest Yoongi in some of the new roommate’s tattoo work, showing him a locked insta account that the guy apparently uses to advertise himself and book appointments through. “I really wanna get one, hyung, what do you think, isn’t this one pretty — isn’t his lettering sooo cool? I think I want to get a big one, I don’t wanna half-ass it, what do you think hyung?” Jimin had gone on like that, while all Yoongi could focus on was the absolute lamest thing about the guy: he had the gall to dub himself ‘Big Bad Wolf’.  

“I’d rather eat worms than let a guy who calls himself ‘Big Bad Wolf’ tattoo me,” Yoongi had replied, while Jimin just giggled and told him, “ah, hyung, you’re too judgmental! Give him a chance! Jungkook said people just started calling him that as a joke, and then it just accidentally stuck and he just ran with it! He’s, like, totally fearless and confident enough that the cheesy nickname kinda goes full circle and becomes cool again, you know?”

Yoongi shakes his head, smiling a little at the memory, because no, he doesn’t really know. “Kids these days,” he mutters to himself and then realizes he’s almost at his destination, thankfully, since the cold is really starting to get to him.

His thoughts drift back to Seokjin and the tiniest little butterflies materialize in his belly, flapping around hopefully at the thought of getting to see his face and maybe even being invited in to shoot the shit for a minute before having to head back home. I kind of miss him making fun of me to be honest , Yoongi thinks, a most secret thought since he always makes a big show of being annoyed with Seokjin in front of Jimin and the others.

He’s finally in front of the apartment and, shivering, he throws the butt of his cigarette on the ground and stomps out the ember. He rings the doorbell, and while he waits he looks inside the plastic bag that’s holding the soup container, making sure it didn’t spill.

After a short wait the door opens — just wide enough for a face to look out at him. Except, it’s not either of the faces that Yoongi was expecting.

The face glaring at him through the crack in the door is perhaps the most well-proportioned face Yoongi has ever laid eyes on, and Yoongi thinks; fuck, this must be the new roommate. Probably summoned him with my negative thoughts about him on my way here. Wait, why is he so good looking? Why didn’t Jimin tell me he was so good looking?

The face, handsome as if chiseled from the finest marble with extra special care by the god of lust, stares out at him from under thick, sharp brows. It’s framed perfectly by a large black bandana that holds an impressive mane of thick, shaggy hair out of his eyes. The face is attached to a body, a broad one, as far as Yoongi can tell though the door, at least it’s definitely larger than Yoongi’s. He’s only wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt, the neck of it frayed and stretched wide, revealing most of a collar bone on one side and the top of at least one chest tattoo peeking out on the other. His legs look sturdy, covered with a lush forest of hair. His feet are bare.

“Hello,” is all the face says at him, with its sinfully beautiful mouth.

“Hi, uh,” Yoongi says, having a hard time remembering how to speak when faced with such a vision, or why he’s even here at all. “…is… Hoseok home?”

“No,” the guy simply says, still staring at him with sharp eyes, although they do show a hint of something that looks a bit like intrigue.

Wait, am I at the right apartment, Yoongi thinks, suddenly stressed that he went to the wrong door somehow. But no, this is definitely the right place, he’s sure of it. He’s been here a thousand times before.

The guy must notice the stress on his face because his gaze softens a bit and he says; “He wasn’t feeling well so he went to his parents’ house for the night. Probably to have his mama baby him.”

“O-oh,” Yoongi says, relieved at least that he’s not losing his mind and is in fact at the right door. “Oh, well I guess, then, he doesn’t need — uh, I’m his boyfriend’s — Jimin’s roommate and I was just gonna — bring him some — leftover soup,” he holds up the plastic bag with the soup awkwardly, “but, uh—”

“Oh!” the guy exclaims, and suddenly his whole face breaks into a squinty eyed sunshiny grin. “That’s so sweet of you! Yoongi, right? I’ve heard so much about you! I’m the new roommate, I’m Taehyung! It’s nice to meet you! I’m sure Hoseok hyung would appreciate it if you left the soup for him to enjoy later, please, come in, it’s so chilly outside, you can put it in the fridge!”

He opens the door a bit wider and ushers Yoongi inside. On instinct Yoongi follows him and starts removing his shoes, but as soon as his shoes are off he realizes that it’s kinda weird that the guy — Taehyung — told him to come in and didn’t just take the soup from him and place it in the fridge himself like a normal person.

But, well. His shoes are off now and Taehyung is gesturing for him to follow him into the kitchen, so it’s too late to do anything other than just that.

As he shuffles in after Taehyung he notes that, 1: he’s definitely broad, and 2: the smattering of tattoos not-quite-covering-but-sort-of-still-all-over his arms and what he can see of his legs are — something. His arms look less like planned-out sleeves and more like a sketchbook that’s been half-filled, lovingly but not exactly carefully, although the outcome is definitely aesthetically pleasing, and most importantly; hot as fuck. They’re all plain black outline-y tattoos, but Yoongi can make out a van-Gogh-esque sunflower on a forearm, a pikachu holding a bottle of wine with the word ‘work’ written above it in scribbly handwriting on the back of a bicep, and — is that fucking Pingu on the other bicep? There also seems to be a strawberry plant growing up his left calf, and on the back of his right thigh Yoongi spots a sneaky looking black fox — or maybe wolf — carrying a bag of chips in his mouth.

Once they’re in the kitchen and Yoongi finally manages to tear his eyes off Taehyung’s generous stretches of tan, tattooed skin, the sight that greets him is — definitely not anything he expected. 

There are two dudes sitting at the kitchen table — they look like teenagers, really. One of them looks up at Yoongi, wide-eyed and impossibly pretty, while the other one — Yoongi can only see the top of his head, a messy mop of dark-blue dyed hair — because the guy is hunched over what for sure looks like a line of suspicious white powder and making like he’s getting ready to inhale it.

So. Seokjin definitely isn’t home either, Yoongi concludes.

As if on cue, Yoongi’s phone buzzes in his jacket pocket and he hurries to get it out just to have anywhere else to look other than at the teenagers doing drugs at his absent friends’ kitchen table. It’s a text from Jimin; 

Ah hyung I’m so sorry, Hoseok went to stay the night at his parents’ house cause he really wasn’t feeling well, I should’ve called him before you left so you wouldn’t have had to inconvenience yourself with the soup, sorry 😞

Yoongi sighs and slips his phone back in his pocket because, well. He’s 100% the one at fault for inconveniencing himself here, and Jimin shouldn’t feel bad, but— 

He doesn’t get any further with that though because a loud *snooorrrrrt* sounding from the blue-haired kid breaks his focus, and immediately afterwards Taehyung clears his throat noisily. 

“Boys, this is my friend Yoongi, say hello!”

Friend? Yoongi thinks. We’re already friends?

The blue-haired kid looks up at Yoongi confused, sniffles a bit and wipes his nose with the back of his hand, but then they both greet him politely.

“Yoongi,” Taehyung continues, “these are my friends Beomgyu and Yeontan—” 

“It’s Yeonjun actually — but yeah, nice to meet you,” the blue-haired kid says, apologetic.

“Right, sorry,” Taehyung says, dismissive, “Yeonjun. Anyway, they were just about to leave, weren’t you boys?”

He says the last part a little louder than Yoongi would strictly consider normal for the setting.

The wide-eyed one — Beomgyu — looks at the other one — not Yeontan, Yeonjun —  confused, and mutters “but weren’t we gonna—” but is then swiftly cut off by Yeonjun kicking him under the table.

“Yes hyung, thank you hyung, we have to get going,” Yeonjun announces, and then they’re both scrambling to get up and pull their jackets on.  

As the kids shuffle towards the front door, Taehyung tells them “don’t forget to finish all your homework! And make sure to always take care of each other and be nice to your moms! And if I find out you’re buying from anyone other than me — and I will find out if you do—” he stops talking and drags his right pointer finger across his throat dramatically while sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes.

Yoongi can definitely detect a hint of fear in their voices as they respond, “Yes hyung, of course hyung, thanks, we’ll talk to you soon!” Then they hurry to let themselves out.

As the door closes Yoongi says “wow”. He didn’t mean to say it out loud but, but it just kinda comes out anyway, the whole situation having been a lot to process since the minute Taehyung opened the door.

“Cute right?” Taehyung says with fond a smile. “They’re good kids,” he adds, as if that is anywhere close to anything Yoongi might be wondering about in this situation.

 “Do you want some?” Taehyung then says, still smiling, casually gesturing towards the kitchen table that still has what Yoongi thinks is probably cocaine on it.

Yoongi wants to say ‘what the fuck’, but instead he says “no thanks, I’m not into that,” which is more polite and also the truth.

“Do you want anything though? Just name what you’re into, I probably have it — on the house, of course. ” 

Taehyung smirks at him.

“No, really,” Yoongi replies, a bit flustered. ”I’m good. Thanks though.”

Taehyung regards him with something that Yoongi can’t quite place, something that makes Yoongi feel a little bit shivery and afraid. This is probably karma getting back at me for the time I mocked him for calling himself Big Bad Wolf, he thinks. What if he actually just kills me and eats me right now.

“Uhm, I’m just gonna…” Yoongi lifts up his wrist which still has the plastic bag with the soup hanging off it, and then he pads towards the fridge. He opens it and places the container inside, but before he can close it again Taehyung has started laughing low in his chest behind him. The creepy unprompted laughter definitely doesn’t make Yoongi feel any less nervous.

Yoongi spins around fast, like he’s expecting Taehyung to be standing there with a knife ready to butcher him. “What,” he asks, impatient.

“Oh, I was just thinking…” Taehyung trails off and giggles, then continues; “I was just thinking about how, the other day, I was telling Hoseok how jealous I am of him for having such an adorable little boyfriend, but… you might just be even littler and cuter than Jimin! Who would’ve thought…!” He giggles gleefully.

Yoongi can feel his face heat up all the way up to the roots of his hair. 

“I’m average height,” he mumbles, which just makes Taehyung laugh louder.

“I guess you are,” Taehyung then says, and regards him again with a heavy gaze. “There’s just something about you I suppose… something about your face, or your legs maybe, I’m not sure...” he trails off again and there is definitely something seductive in his eyes now.

Yoongi swallows and hopes Taehyung can’t hear it. He feels overheated and way too aware of his own physical body suddenly, standing there in the middle of the kitchen with his jacket still on while this ridiculously hot, lightly-clothed drug dealer, who for some reason knew Yoongi’s name already, looks at him like he’s starving .

“I should—” Yoongi starts, but Taehyung interrupts him;

“I got a new TV today!” he says abruptly, grinning at Yoongi. “Do you want to see it? It’s really big.”

“...Sure,” Yoongi hears himself say, as if possessed by the confused horny energy now radiating from his own cursed loins.

While Taehyung quickly clears the kitchen table, Yoongi slips his jacket off, hanging it off the back of a chair, hoping that undressing a bit might alleviate some of the heat he can feel in his face. Taehyung stuffs his — his illegal substances — in the pockets of his basketball shorts, and then he says; “come, it’s in my room,” and gestures for Yoongi to follow him. And Yoongi knows exactly where to go because, after all, it’s just Namjoon’s old room. Which feels super weird, because Namjoon doesn’t live there anymore.

It becomes especially apparent that Namjoon doesn’t live there anymore when Yoongi steps inside Namjoon’s — now Taehyung’s — room. Gone are all of Namjoon’s overgrown plants and his warm earth tones, replaced by Taehyung’s sparse but definitely not boring decor. On the far end of the room, sure enough, there’s a simple padded bench with a stool next to it, which Yoongi guesses is the one Taehyung uses for doing tattoos. Even the lighting in the room is odd compared to what it was before — it’s all blue and purple-red now, some kind of wild LED situation probably. There’s a dresser and a rail of clothing against one wall, but the main event is a big, soft-looking bed with a large art print hanging above it. It’s a poster of a colorful painting, possibly graffiti, of a man with a skeleton face and a crown of thorns holding a fishing rod with a fish hanging off of it. And across from the bed, sure enough, there is an enormous flat screen TV just sitting on the floor. 

Tae goes over and sits down on his bed, relaxed as if they do this all the time, his knees spread wide and his basketball shorts riding up his hefty thighs a little. He pats a spot on the bed right next to him, and Yoongi goes to sit in that spot like a man possessed.

“I’ve been messing with the lighting, trying to make it vibe , what do you think?” Taehyung asks.

“Uh… yeah, looks cool,” Yoongi says uncertain, glancing around the room. “Do you like… fishing?” he then asks, as his eyes run back over the art print above the bed, just to fill the silence that’s making him feel like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin.

Taehyung chuckles. “Not really. But I like Basquiat. And art. And drawing.”

Yoongi nods. The drawing thing is kind of apparent, with the tattoos and all. He dares look back at Taehyung’s arms, his gaze landing on a cartoonish outline of a tombstone on the front of the arm nearest to him. 

“ There better be dogs... ” he reads out-loud off the tombstone.

“Yeah, you know, in heaven,” Taehyung helpfully clarifies. Does he think I’m stupid, Yoongi thinks, although he can detect no condescension in Taehyung’s voice.

Yoongi just nods, kind of unsure where to take things from there.

“To be honest,” Taehyung confesses, “I wanted it to say ‘DIED HORNY’ … but my parents would’ve been mad at me if I’d gotten that tattooed on my arm. I mean, they’re already kinda mad at me, for dropping out of art-school, mostly, but also for various other reasons. But they would’ve been even more mad at me if I had, like, a reminder of how horny I am all the time permanently inscribed on my arm. They can just barely live with Pingu,” he says, gently scratching Pingu on his other arm.

Yoongi tries to swallow, worried that it’s the loudest noise a human throat has ever made. He tries to remind himself that none of this should be that surprising, not from the guy who gave Jungkook a tattoo of the bottoming emoji on his middle finger.

Taehyung picks a remote control off of the floor next to the bed. “Anway,” he says, cheerful, “the main event!” He clicks the TV on. It really is so big, taking up most of the wall across from the bed. It’s some type of smart TV, no doubt expensive. “I uh… actually haven’t set up Netflix or Youtube or connected this to any actual channels or anything,” he says, apologetic. “But, look, you can choose between different screensavers, I think they’re live broadcasts of like, street scenes in different cities? In real time??” He selects one. “Look, it’s Tokyo! Wait, let’s go somewhere a bit more exotic. Ooh, let’s see what’s happening in Moscow.” he changes the channel. There’s not a lot of movement happening “Hm, I guess it’s quiet in that part of town right now.” He leaves it on anyway, leaving Yoongi to stare at the tiny people who look more like ants moving in the distance of the cold-looking cityscape on the screen. Taehyung puts the remote control down and reaches down for an ashtray, which is also sitting on the floor towards the head of his bed. He picks a half-smoked joint out of the ashtray, then fishes a lighter out of his pocket. Yoongi needs to exercise all his self restraint to not gawk at the supple tan thigh right next to him, as the shiny fabric of the basketball shorts stretches tightly across it.

“Do you mind?” Taehyung asks, hesitating with the joint and lighter in his hands. 

“Oh, no, go ahead,” Yoongi says. He actually really doesn’t mind it. Weed is something he looks at more favorably than hard drugs, and even partakes in sometimes with Namjoon and Hoseok — not all the time , but — every now and then. 

Taehyung lights up and takes a long drag while looking at the cityscape on his comically large TV screen. He holds the smoke in his lungs for a moment, then blows out a big puff, away from Yoongi. He glances sidelong at Yoongi. “Want some?” He holds the joint out in offering.

“Sure,” Yoongi says, reasoning internally with himself that he’s too sober to be in such close proximity to that much thigh anyway. He’ll just take the edge off a little, sit in on this avant-garde screensaver viewing for like ten more minutes, and if Seokjin still isn’t home he’ll make some excuse to leave. Or, at least, this is what what Yoongi tries to tell himself while he takes a long drag of the joint, eyes on the TV screen even though literally nothing is happening there.

“Okay — let’s see what else we have…” Taehyung says. They pass the joint back and forth while he clicks through the screensaver selection.

“It’s so — big.” Yoongi says. It just slips right out of his mouth and he realizes with some relief that he’s starting to feel slightly less edgy, less self-conscious and inhibited. “The TV,” he adds, for clarification.

Taehyung laughs. “Yeah, it really is, isn’t it? I don’t know, I just wanted a TV and when I got to the store I figured, might as well get a really big one since I can afford it, right? I got like, a real job recently — a real tattoo job, at a parlor — it’s only one day a week, for now, mostly basic flash stuff on tourists that walk in off the street, but it pays so well that I might just give up the side hustle!” He winks at Yoongi.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, huffing out a big billow of smoke. “You shouldn’t give drugs to kids.”

Taehyung giggles. “Oh, I’m not giving them any freebies, I make them pay for everything. They’re rich kids. Did you see how soft their hair looked? Those were no at-home dye jobs. Anyway, they won’t leave me alone, they think I’m just sooooo coool… ” he laughs like he loves the thought of it. “They’re studying at the art-school I dropped out of, I’m like a legend there now.” He smirks, then turns reassuring again; “…no, but you’re right. I should make them pay me to give them tattoos instead of drugs, even if it means they’ll be loitering at the parlor all the time. I’ll work on it.” 

“Good,” Yoongi says after a beat, passing the joint back to him. 

Taehyung finishes off the joint and crushes the butt of it in the ashtray, then focuses his attention back on the TV. “Ooh, look, this one’s called ‘Breathtaking Colors of Nature’! ” He selects the screensaver, and super HD close-ups of various beautiful flowers sway gently across the screen. “Look at the pretty flowers!” He says, gesturing excitedly towards the screen, and then turns towards Yoongi with a big boxy grin on his face.

Yoongi, in complete awe at the vibrancy of the colors and the crispness of the image,  realizes he may have gotten slightly more stoned than he meant to. Time has suddenly become all gooey, and one second the stupid flowers are the most amazing thing he’s ever laid eyes on, and the next syrupy slow second it’s the teeth lining Taehyung’s grin that have all his attention.

“Dude… your teeth are so… like… big,” he says, having completely lost his filter. “Or — maybe it’s just that I can see so much of them right now. I’m not sure.”

Taehyung giggles, grinning even bigger, which makes him look kinda scary, before he closes his lips. “Bigger than your little chiclets I guess,” he then says. Then his face gets all mischievous suddenly and he adds; “I guess mine are — all the better to eat you with, little boy!” He snickers. 

Yoongi’s heart momentarily drops down to his stomach and it must do something to his face because Taehyung bursts out laughing. “I’m kidding!” he says. “Come on, I’m nice, I promise!”

“No, yeah, I’m just—” Yoongi tries to gather his thoughts. “I believe you. Jimin said that — you were nice. I’m just — a little more stoned than I realized.”

“Sorry — it’s good stuff right?” Taehyung smiles, barely apologetic.

“Yeah, no, it’s fine, it’s good, I’m good. I’m twenty-six.” Yoongi’s thoughts tumble out of him slowly like sticky marshmallows getting in the way of each other.

“You’re good you’re twenty-six?” Taehyung giggles. “On a scale of what?”

Yoongi can’t help but laugh, quietly, his shoulders shaking with it. “On a scale of — birth to whenever my life will end. I’m twenty-six years old. And you called me a little boy, that’s ridiculous.”

“An adorable, pocket-sized twenty-six-year-old,” Taehyung says, pleased.

Yoongi blushes and shakes his head.

Taehyung gets smug suddenly. “He’s going to let me tattoo him y’know.”

Yoongi’s mind goes in about ten circles trying to figure out what he’s talking about. Then he gives up and asks; “who?”

“Oh, Jimin! Your roommate who thinks I’m nice. He wants me to tattoo him, he’s gonna let me do his first tattoo!” Taehyung’s gaze gets a little darker when he smirks and adds; “he’s gonna let me take his virginity~”

Yoongi takes a deep breath. “And how does Hoseok feel about that.”

Taehyung chuckles, then shrugs. “He’s just gonna have to be okay with it. Maybe I’ll let him watch while I deflower his sweetheart…”

Fuck. Yoongi feels his breathing pick up, hopes Taehyung doesn’t notice. There is an undeniable, potent, horny energy buzzing in the air around them — it’s been in the air since he entered this damn apartment, and Yoongi kind of wants to bask in it for a long time if he’s to be really real with himself.

“He says he wants some pretty large lettering across his ribs, right—” Taehyung lifts one giant hand and trails the tips of his giant fingers very gently across the right side of Yoongi’s torso, over his hoodie, where his ribs lie beneath.“—here.”

Yoongi’s breath hitches.

Taehyung pulls his hand back quickly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to touch you without. Like. Your consent. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Yoongi hurries to say. “You can touch me as much as you want.” 

It’s only after the words are done spilling out of his mouth that he realizes how fucking desperate he sounds, but, fuck. He kind of doesn’t care anymore. Perhaps he should’ve considered beforehand how ravenously horny he tends to get when he’s stoned, but, oh well. Shouldn’t feel too embarrassed about that in front of a guy whose preferred mode of entertainment is just screensavers.

Taehyung cocks a brow at him. “Oh, can   I?” He smiles, then reaches out and tugs on one of the strings on Yoongi’s hoodie. “Cute little red hoodie,” he says. Then he lets go and puts his hands back in his own lap, not making any moves to touch Yoongi more at all, which, to Yoongi in this moment, is extremely disappointing.

“It’s oversized,” Yoongi grumbles, but Taehyung just laughs at him some more, continuing to keep his hands to himself. 

Yoongi means to continue down his line of defense, but then he looks Taehyung in the face and completely forgets his train of thought because— 

“Dude, your nose is like. So big.”

Taehyung barks out a laugh. “Gee, thanks.”

“No I mean like, it looks really good. It’s a good nose. But. Big.”

Taehyung touches a finger to his nose and smiles. “Thank you, I think it’s a good nose too.”

“Whoa and your hands are HUGE.” 

Taehyung spreads his fingers out in front of his face, and then, finally, in slow motion, they travel back towards Yoongi, eventually landing on his thigh and making direct contact with skin through the largest hole in Yoongi’s jeans. It’s kind of incredible to see, really, how well Taehyung’s big hand covers Yoongi’s skinny thigh. 

“All the better to feel you up with,” his voice rumbles low and melodic in his chest, with a hint of amusement. He squeezes. “Tiny little leggies,” he says.

Yoongi soaks the sensation of the touch in through his skin and just tries to breathe normally.

“…What,” Taehyung asks, teasing; “aren’t you going to tell me they’re actually bigger than they seem, somehow?”

“Nah,” Yoongi says, “I agree. My legs are very dainty.”

Taehyung laughs, and Yoongi laughs with him for a while, not even sure why it’s funny but loving the vibe nonetheless. When they finally calm down they just look into each other’s faces for a moment.

“You’re eyes are kinda big too,” Yoongi says, literally unable to stop any of the thoughts that pop into his head now from exiting through his mouth. “And your eyelashes are like. Big also. I don’t know the right word. Visible.” Taehyung just flutters his eyelashes at him and smiles. Yoongi lets his gaze wander over Taehyung’s face. He really is ridiculously handsome, and totally Yoongi’s type — he’s pretty manly, with his tan skin, heavy brows and a strong jaw and chin. Yoongi zeroes in on the stubble on Taehyung’s upper lip and his mouth goes dry — not super surprising since he’s been known to go pretty bonkers for a good five-o-clock shadow.

Then he looks at his lips, and again, he can’t stop himself.

“Your mouth is also sorta big…” he starts, lingering a moment. When he dares look back up into Taehyung’s eyes he sees it again; the raw hunger that sends a shiver down his spine and makes him feel a little bit afraid, but mostly in a horny way.

Yoongi parts his lips and licks over the top one, then the bottom one, and then Taehyung’s face is suddenly inching closer to his face, and— 

Yoongi closes the distance and slots their lips together. It feels just as good as he imagined it would, even better since he’s all stoned and floaty, all his nerve-endings more sensitive somehow. They kiss slowly and firmly, tongues sliding together carefully, a little too dry maybe. It feels like it lasts forever and Yoongi’s brain feels like it’s leaking out of his ears between trying to register all the different sensations happening in and around his mouth, but also Taehyung’s big hand inching higher and higher on his thigh, squeezing around it.

When they finally pull apart to catch their breaths, Yoongi says; “feels good.” He hears himself say it and thinks he kinda sounds like a dork, but it’s okay. He doesn’t care right now.

“Yeah,” Taehyung agrees. Then he removes his hand from Yoongi’s thigh, which Yoongi kind of wants to shriek at him for. He flexes his fingers for a second and then, sighing contently, leans back on his elbows, legs still spread, and adjusts himself in a way that makes his shorts ride up his delectable thighs even further. 

As Yoongi lets his eyes wander over them, he spots a pair of tattoos that he hadn’t noticed before, probably because they’re higher up on the thighs and had been previously covered by the shorts. It’s text, the font sort of jagged, like what Jimin had told him he liked.

Yoongi can’t stop his hand from reaching out, letting his fingertips run up the warm skin of Taehyung’s thighs to push the shorts up a little more, to uncover the tattoos completely so he can make out what they say. Taehyung doesn’t protest, a content, lazy smile on his face.

There’s one word on each thigh and Yoongi has to stare for a while, feeling like each of his brain cells is off doing its own thing individually and he can’t possibly get two of them to cooperate. Finally, he realizes that they’re upside down — or — they’re upside down since Yoongi is sitting next to Taehyung, but they’d be right side up if Yoongi were, say, on his knees with Taehyung standing in front of him, facing him.

The right thigh says ‘BAD’ and the left thighs says ‘WOLF’ . The lettering looks slightly rough around the edges, but cool nonetheless.

Taehyung hums happily when Yoongi traces the letters with his fingers. “I did them myself,” he says, “they were mainly just to practice. I wanted to see how hard it would be to do the up-side-down text freehand, if I could make it look good. It’s a little messy but — whatever.”

“They’re nice,” Yoongi hurries to say. “But… isn’t there a word missing?” He’s half teasing, half genuinely curious, wondering if the first part is hiding somewhere else.

“Oh,” Taehyung snickers, “no. The… the ‘BIG’   part kinda goes without saying, don’t you think?”

He gives Yoongi a smoldering look and bites his lower lip.

Yoongi’s brain takes a minute to catch up with what’s being implied. Long enough for Taehyung to cock his head to the side and very slowly and sensually pick up his right hand, run it down his chest and stomach and down down to his crotch where his very large hand stops to pull the fabric of his shorts taut around the thing that’s sitting, also very large, and clearly hard, just inside the thin silky fabric.

“Ohhhhh fuuuuuck…” Yoongi breathes, his mind completely blown.

“Mhm,” Taehyung says, smug. “It’s not just my nose that’s big, baby.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

Somewhere in the back of Yoongi’s brain a tiny remnant of his sober, sensible self is yelling at him for going feral for a dude who more or less just told him; ‘why would I spell out the word ‘BIG’ when I can let my dick do the talking instead!’

The rest of him though… his overwhelmingly horny and gooey self just wants to fucking roll over in submission, spread his legs and whine ‘USE ME USE ME! I’M JUST A HOLE!!’

Taehyung is clearly picking up on some of those vibes, because his face is coming closer now, smiling a little. 

He rubs his nose on Yoongi’s nose and it’s oddly soothing. 

“You into that?” He murmurs. Yoongi nods. “You wanna feel it?”

Yeah, from the inside preferably, Yoongi thinks, and his breath shakes when he reaches out to wrap his fingers around Taehyung’s cock through his shorts. It’s so big. And so hot and so hard and — very big. Will it fit? He dares wonder. Yes. He knows it will fit because he has toys — toys so well-used that he’s got their size down to sense memory. Am I about to try to fuck this drug dealing tattoo artist who I just met like an hour ago in my best friends’ old bedroom? Yoongi wonders. Yeah I fuckin’ guess.

He starts moving his hand, just a little, keeping his grip on Taehyung’s cock tight. Taehyung sighs happily and slowly grinds up into Yoongi’s fist. “Can I touch you too, cutie?” he asks, and Yoongi nods eagerly. Taehyung smirks. “Mmm, you’re gonna let me play with you, hyung?” There’s no real respect behind the honorific, and Yoongi hadn’t even told him he could call him hyung in the first place, but he’s so fucking gone that he pays it no mind. All he can do is moan “yes,” and scoot in closer until he’s practically on Taehyung’s lap. Their mouths find each other again, more desperate this time, Yoongi still working his hand up and down Taehyung’s cock and Taehyung reaching between his thighs to cup his aching erection.

“Aww,” Taehyung breaks away from the kiss to speak. “You’ve got a cute little cock to go with you cute little thighs and your cute little butt?” He grins at Yoongi while he squeezes around his cock, pleased, and all Yoongi can do is pout at him. “...And your cute little pout?” Taehyung grins even wider and Yoongi can’t help but stop pouting to smile back at him. He feels too good to be embarrassed right now.

“That’s so cute hyung,” Taehyung murmurs, leaning in to plant wet kisses down his neck. “God, I just wanna eat you right up.”

Yoongi feels it again, the twinge of horny fear, but more of a thrill now. He’s dying to get eaten up, actually. 

“Can I get this out of the way?“ Taehyung asks, tugging on the collar of Yoongi’s hoodie to mouth at his collarbone.

“Yeah, fuck, yeah,” Yoongi says, and then he yanks the hoodie over his head and tosses it on the floor. He didn’t mean for his T-shirt to go with it but, fuck it, he’s trying to get eaten alive by a large naughty wolf, might as well get naked as fast as possible.

“Oh my god, look at your little nipples,” Taehyung coos, “You’re so cute.”

Yoongi can actually feel himself blush at that one. 

Taehyung wastes no time. He mouths hungry, sloppy wet kisses all over Yoongi’s upper torso, stopping to tongue over one of his nipples while Yoongi tries to just breathe and not rut up into his touch too desperately. He lets his teeth scrape across Yoongi’s collarbones and sternum and Yoongi can’t stop himself from whimpering. 

Taehyung’s big hands roam all over his body, firmly squeezing his thighs, his ass, his hips. When he thumbs over Yoongi’s belly he stops mouthing at him to say; “oh, and your cute little happy trail! It makes me so happy!” He manhandles Yoongi until he’s lying on the bed, so that he can kiss down to his stomach, and then  pauses to suck on the underside of Yoongi’s soft belly. Yoongi hopes it will leave a mark.

“Can I take these off?” Taehyung asks, finger trailing over the button of his jeans.

“Fuck yes,” Yoongi says, and as soon as he does Taehyung is clambering down to the floor for better leverage to pull Yoongi’s jeans of. Yoongi tries to help him, but the ripped skinny jeans are really only meant to be taken off in a calm, calculated manner, and Yoongi gets frustrated when they get stuck around his ankles, refusing to be yanked over his feet in a rush. “Stupid big feet,” he mutters.

“But they’re cute !” Taehyung protests, laughing. “I like a boy with contrast. They make your ankles look even tinier.”

Yoongi hums and they finally manage to yank his jeans off. His underwear come off easily enough after that— 

—And then he’s buck naked, not exactly how he’d pictured himself ending up when he’d headed over with some leftover soup, but god is he eager for it all the same.

“Cute,” he hears Taehyung say, sitting happily on the floor between his legs now, still in all the clothes he was wearing when he answered the door (which admittedly weren’t that many). Then there’s a hot, wet mouth wrapped around the head of his dick. Taehyung starts eagerly sucking at it right away, and with all the dizzying buildup that’s gone down, and the way every sensation feels amplified inside his body, Yoongi starts to feel dangerously close to the edge almost immediately. He grabs a handful of Taehyung’s hair and pulls on it to still him.

“Sorry, I — I want you to fuck me. Will you fuck me? If you will, I don’t wanna — don’t wanna come like this—”

Taehyung stops sucking and looks up at Yoongi, wicked grin spreading across his face.

“Think you can handle me, cutie?” He just looks up at him for a second, running his fingertips down the insides of his thighs, feather-light.

Yoongi nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, please. I’m so fucking horny. Everything feels so good. Please, I can take it—”

Taehyung giggles. “Aww, he begs even without being prompted! Lucky me…”

“Please, just — fuck me, use me, do whatever you want, please…” Yoongi whines, squirming in an attempt to get more of Taehyung’s touch, but it doesn’t work, Taehyung won’t give it to him, just keeps on teasing him and grinning. He feels that it’s completely pointless to even pretend he has any shred of dignity left at this point.

Taehyung suddenly pinches the meat on the underside of his thigh, and then big hands are pushing his thighs back and spreading his asscheeks. 

“Cute little hole, fuck,” Taehyung curses under his breath, and then he’s yanking Yoongi by the hips to the edge of the bed. Yoongi plants his heels on the edge, keeping his legs spread the best he can, far enough so that he can feel the stretch in his muscles. Taehyung use his hands to spread his cheeks apart again and spits a fat glob of saliva down onto his perineum. It runs down his ass-crack until Taehyung catches it with his finger and rubs it around his hole, prodding and teasing.

Yoongi swallows. “I— I’m definitely going to need lube though,” he says, an edge of worry in his voice, he can’t help it. He’s simultaneously scared of what he’s getting himself into, and desperate to be devoured and railed within an inch of his life right away. The fear just keeps on amplifying the horniness.

Taehyung chuckles low in his throat. “Don’t worry cutie, I’ve got plenty of lube. I just wanted to play a little first.”

He bites softly down on the back of Yoongi’s thigh and Yoongi hears a broken moan leave his throat. But then his touch is suddenly gone, and Taehyung is scooting over to slide a shoebox from underneath his bed. From the shoebox he then conjures a curiously large, but only half-full container of lube, which Yoongi guesses makes sense for the owner of a monster cock.

Taehyung lets some lube drip down on Yoongi and he’s sloppy about it; it drips down his balls and all up in his crack — then he coats his finger carefully with more lube while staring at Yoongi like he’s a delicious meal that just got sauced up and then finally, finally he starts pressing a finger against Yoongi’s hole. Yoongi focuses on making his body relax, which isn’t that hard since he’s already feeling extra boneless. His rim gives easily to Taehyung’s finger.

Taehyung looks up at him, smirking. “You got a boyfriend or something?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes although Taehyung probably can’t see that when Yoongi’s half on his back and rolling his eyes at the ceiling, mostly. “No, just toys.”

“Aww, just toys! That’s so cute ,” Taehyung coos, adding another finger right away. It’s a bit of a tighter fit and Taehyung goes slow, giving Yoongi time to adjust, fingering him open with the casual skill and expertise of — someone who maybe does this a lot.

Once Yoongi feels relaxed enough again and aching for more he says, “you can add another.”

The third finger is pushed in carefully after more lube has been applied, for good measure. It knocks the breath out of him, god it feels good, he feels full already but he’s also anticipating feeling so much more full in a minute and that’s such a fucking turn-on, god he just wants to be split open. Taehyung crooks and twists his fingers and after a couple of strokes he brushes his prostate, which knocks another shameless moan out of Yoongi. He starts to moan with every thrust and push back against Taehyun’s fingers the best he can.

“Ah hyung, that’s so pretty,” Taehyung moans back, and then he’s pushing his fingers apart, trying to stretch Yoongi open even further, and then he uses his other hand to guide Yoongi’s cock back into his mouth, he’s suckling softly on the head, mixing delicious pleasure with the burn of the stretch, and— 

—and then Yoongi hears the front door slam shut and Seokjin’s voice call out “Tae?” from the entryway.

Taehyung does not slow down — doesn’t show any signs of having registered the sound of Seokjin’s voice or the noises coming from the entryway at all. Then a series of events happen, simultaneously as if they’re happening in slow motion, and also somehow as if they’re happening at double speed.

Yoongi hears Seokjin call out “Tae? Are you here?”, his voice getting closer to Taehyung’s bedroom as his footsteps approach. Yoongi then realizes that they never even closed the bedroom door — it’s not wide open, but there’s definitely a sizable crack. Yoongi also realizes that he’s laying on his back, buck naked, his head towards the wall and his legs spread eagle; his ass pointed towards the open door and currently full of fingers courtesy of some guy he just met an hour ago. It’s as if Yoongi is merely a bystander witnessing the disaster that’s about to go down, a voice somewhere inside his head weakly suggesting that he say something like ‘wait’ or ‘fuck, close the door’ , but his brain’s too dumb to actually send the signal to his mouth. And then the door is being thrown open with Seokjin’s loud voice booming “Tae, did you see—”

All at once Tae stills, the dick falling out of his mouth as he cranes his head around to look up at the intruder. Yoongi has the wherewithal to prop himself up on his elbows, just in time to see Seokjin’s face completely drop, and then Seokjin is shielding his face and backing away from the door with an “oh, jesus fuck, sorry.” 

In the middle of his backing away though, something seems to click because he un-shields his face and, with a look of utter confusion, says “wait, Yoongi?”

But then he immediately looks away and starts distancing himself from them again with an extra exclamation of “oh jesus fucking christ Tae,” as well as a “what the fuck??”

Once Seokjin is out of sight, Taehyung looks back at Yoongi and, like the fucking demon he is, he smiles at him and says; “oopsie,” with his fingers still buried in his ass. Making no attempt to get the door closed, he starts inching his fingers in and out again, grinning up at Yoongi like a fucking wolf.

Yoongi is floating in this weird headspace where he realizes something mildly devastating just happened that he feels kind of sad about, something he should probably do something about. But he hasn’t even begun to process it because, more importantly, he’s randy as hell and wants to get off more than he has ever wanted anything in his life. His brain-to-mouth filter is still all out of whack though, and he hears himself say a quiet “Oh no, Seokjin don’t go,” just into the air as an afterthought. Since he says it too quietly for anyone outside the room to hear him, under normal circumstances this would’ve been fine. It would’ve been fine if it weren’t for the fact that Taehyung is there, all over him and inside him, and Taehyung is not normal circumstances. Once he registers what Yoongi just said he grins wickedly and immediately repeat after him, but much much louder; “yeah, Seokjin hyung! Come back! Don’t go!”

The shock of hearing Taehyung yelling it out like that finally kicks Yoongi’s brain into action mode. “Oh my god you lunatic, get—” he hisses, and knocks his ankle against Taehyung’s shoulder. This thankfully delivers the right message to Taehyung, who finally removes his hand from Yoongi’s ass, but of course he fucking giggles while he does it. Smiling, he wipes his hand on his shorts while Yoongi closes his legs and scrambles to try to cover himself with the blanket he’s lying on top of. He manages to utilize a corner of it to cover his midsection, just in time as Seokjin’s footsteps approach again.

“What the fuck ?” Seokjin loudly complains, as he appears in the doorway again. “You want me to come back Taehyung, and what, watch you guys fuck?? Is this your fucking kink or something? Do you think this is funny??”

He stands there, arms folded across his chest, looking at them through the half open door like he’s actually expecting an answer. But they just sit there, Yoongi mortified and unable to speak, and Taehyung just fucking smirking like he’s never had an ounce of shame in his life. 

“Oh,” Seokjin says after a loaded minute, eyes darting between their faces. “You guys are fucking high as kites, aren’t you.” 

Taehyung giggles in a tone that says; ‘you got me there!’

Seokjin sighs, very done with their shit by the sound of it. “Yeah you are. Of course you are. Goodbye!” 

He starts walking away again but stops abruptly after a couple of steps and says; 

“No, you know what? Not goodbye. Excuse the fuck out of me, but since you guys think it’s such good fun to shed all your common decency, make closed doors optional and force me to witness your nasty little mating ritual, I am also going to forego social norms to interrupt you and make you listen to what my unfortunately sober ass thinks about you jackasses behaving like this right now!” He clears his throat and places a hand on his hip.

“First of all; Yoongi! What the fuck! Are you doing here! Like—” he waves his hand frantically in Yoongi’s general direction, “—like that! Your roommate is worried enough about you that he called me, to ask me if I’d seen you because you left to get cigarettes over an hour ago and never came back or answered your phone! How about you get my roommate’s entire hand out of your ass for long enough to assure your roommate that you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere!”

Fuck. Yoongi hadn’t realized — well of course he had completely forgotten every responsible thought he’d ever had in his life when confronted by Taehyung’s impossibly sexy and possibly dangerous hungry gaze — but, yeah, he’d never texted Jimin back and he’d just left his phone, on silent, in the pocket of his jacket, currently hanging on the back of a chair in the kitchen.

Seokjin, it seems, isn’t quite done lecturing them though.

“And Taehyung, you asshole, learn to close your fucking door and maybe put a sock on it or something for good measure, especially when you decide you absolutely need to seduce the one guy who I’ve explicitly told you that I like! And don’t play dumb, I know that you’re well aware of this! And you’re still just fucking laughing , shame on you, you’re such a dog! I thought you were better than this!”

Just as Yoongi had started feeling like he’d be spending the rest of his life sitting naked and sticky with lube in a stranger’s weirdly lit bedroom with Seokjin standing over him and scolding him, his brain screeches to a halt. Taehyung’s giggling goes quiet as well.

“You — you like me…?” Yoongi hears himself say, his voice tiny.

Taehyung’s giggling starts up again immediately.

Seokjin rolls his eyes so hard that Yoongi is worried they’re gonna fall out of his skull.

“That’s the only piece of information you’re deciding to retain from this?? Are you really gonna pretend to be surprised by that? After I’ve flirted with you for months ?? While you acted like a mean prude and gave me nothing but clear signals that you weren’t having it? Which is fine, except then you come over to my house and meet my dumbass drug dealer fuckboy roommate for five seconds, and all your clothes just poof ?? Disappear? Never mind your sweetheart of a roommate who’s home alone and worried that you somehow landed in the way of a witch who cursed you and maybe turned you into little kitty who can’t pick up his calls cause you don’t have opposable thumbs anymore??”

Taehyung starts laughing again. “Oh, this is so interesting! ” he says.

Yoongi whacks him on the head, but Taehyung just giggles harder and crawls up on the bed to squeeze his big body behind him and wrap his arms around Yoongi’s shoulders possessively. Yoongi can’t see his face, but he’s pretty sure he can feel him grinning into his shoulder.

“But — I didn’t know you were flirting—” Yoongi says weakly in Seokjin’s direction, forcing himself to look him in the face. “I would’ve…”

He sees a spark of something in Seokjin’s eyes, daring him to go on, but he has no idea what’d be the right thing to say in this situation so he looks back down at his lap, pouts, and starts babbling; “I would’ve… ‘cause I totally have a crush on you, are you kidding… but you always just tease me and…”

“That’s how he flirts,” Taehyung cuts in, making a show of whispering loudly in Yoongi’s ear, definitely loud enough for Seokjin to hear. “He’s got a massive dick too, and he actually knows how to use it, plus he’s handsome. So he thinks he can just tell some lousy jokes and that that’ll be good enough to make everyone’s panties drop…”

“How do you—” Yoongi starts, confused, but he doesn’t even get to finish his question before Taehyung smugly explains;

“Oh, we’ve been messing around. Lucky for him; I’m easy like that.”

It’s weird, given the particular position he’s currently in, but Yoongi feels a twinge of disappointment in his chest, learning that Seokjin has actually been fucking this impossibly gorgeous weirdo. Even if Yoongi himself was kinda sorta also on the brink of fucking the same weirdo.

As if he reads minds, Seokjin hurries to look at Yoongi and say; “It didn’t mean anything, it was literally just that; messing around.”

“Oh wow,” Taehyung says loudly behind him “Ouch!”

“Oh please!” Seokjin says, raising his voice in annoyance. “You’ve got, like, a revolving door of impossibly hot boys coming in and out of your bedroom! You know Tae, maybe if you didn't give free drugs to every cute boy whose pants you wanna get into, then maybe you’d actually make enough money to get your own place, and then we wouldn’t be having this problem! Don’t act like you got your feelings hurt just cause I’m calling you out on being an asshole, I’m not falling for your bullshit!”

Taehyung shrugs, unbothered. “What can I say, I have a healthy appetite. Not like you had any complaints so far.”

They seem to be at a stale-mate, at least long enough for Yoongi to have another out-loud thought. “This is weird,” he says to no one in particular.

“Yeah hyung,” Taehyung says in agreement, directing it at Seokjin. He’s still wrapped around Yoongi’s naked back. “Stop being angry, you’re scaring the sexy little twink that I worked hard to get naked for everyone’s benefit…”

Seokjin scoffs. “I won’t believe for a second that you did any part of this for anything other than your own benefit.”

“Do you want to believe though?” Taehyung says, and slowly, slowly his hands travel up from where they were resting around Yoongi’s waist, and up to his chest. It’s still bare like the rest of him, save for his crotch that’s just barely covered by the sliver of blanket. “Doesn’t he look so cute like this?” Taehyung says suggestively to Seokjin, and Yoongi feels his cheeks instantly heat up from being spoken about like this. “And who would’ve thought, he has a crush on you too~” he singsongs softly while his fingers start playing with Yoongi’s nipples, both of them looking up at Seokjin.

Yoongi feels so weird — not necessarily bad-weird, just weird — these two very hot dudes arguing — not exactly fighting over him, but fighting because of him. Meanwhile, he’s sort of sitting in between them, naked, dick barely gone soft, still extremely horny, and this kind of attention — it’s kind of. Making it worse.

He watches as Seokjin’s eyes travel down from his face, down to where Taehyung is playing with his nipples and then back up to his face. Yup, that’s definitely some type of interest there. Seokjin swallows visibly and Yoongi’s breath hitches.

“Do you want me to stop?” Taehyung murmurs to Yoongi, slowing his hands. 

Yoongi hesitates for a moment, then just shrugs because, well — he doesn’t really want him to stop, actually, but— 

“Do you want us to stop?” Yoongi asks Seokjin, trying to sound as sincere as he feels.

Seokjin huffs. “To continue on with my honesty streak; yeah, kind of. Unless you’re for real gonna invite me to join.”

Yoongi looks back over his shoulder at Taehyung, who, of course, is smirking. “Do you want to invite him to join, cutie?” Taehyung purrs. “I don’t think you’d be disappointed~”

A full-body shiver goes through Yoongi. “Okay, Yeah,” he breathes, and then, “fuck,” as Taehyung starts lightly grinding up against the small of his back.

“Come and get him hyung,” Taehyung says to Seokjin, the glee in his voice apparent, as he grabs a hold of Yoongi’s hips and grinds up earnestly against his backside. Yoongi can feel that he’s rock-hard. 

Seokjin rolls his eyes one last time, but then he’s smiling and shaking his head and finally entering the room. He shrugs his jacket off, throws it on the floor and closes the door.

“Let me at him, you dirty dog,” Seokjin says as he crawls up on the bed and settles down in front of Yoongi, facing him. Taehyung has the nerve to honest-to-god growl and then bark at Seokjin a couple of times, but while he doesn’t let go of Yoongi, he doesn’t do anything to hinder Seokjin from approaching him from the front either.

Yoongi looks at Seokjin, biting his lip in anticipation, and then for some reason his brain thinks it’s funny and in accordance with he mood to say; “you wanna fucking go bro?”

It makes Seokjin laugh, which just makes him look even more beautiful, and then he responds, “yeah, let’s fucking go bro.” Then he leans in and crashes his lips against Yoongi’s.

The kiss is hot and sweet and desperate, as if Seokjin is trying to make up the foreplay he missed out on. He finally breaks away, leaving Yoongi panting, and says; “god, you guys are so annoying,” while he lets his palms slide down Yoongi’s body, exploring, touching him everywhere.

Yoongi, still pleasantly buzzed, thinks that if he were a cat he would be purring right about now. He glances over his shoulder and sees Taehyung, grin full of teeth like always, and then Taehyung says; “what about me? Kiss?”

Seokjin scoffs but leans in over Yoongi’s shoulder. “You’re such a bastard,” he says as his face gets close to Taehyung’s, no bite in his voice. 

Taehyung snickers. “You can thank me later hyung,” he says, smug, and then he plants a kiss on Seokjin’s mouth, sandwiching Yoongi even more firmly in between two big broad chests.

As Seokjin presses in to kiss Taehyung back he starts rutting against Yoongi and, wow, okay.  He’s definitely hiding something massive down there. His hands are still roaming over Yoongi’s body, while Taehyung has wrapped his arms wrapped around both of them. Yoongi moans, his hips kicking involuntarily as they press and grind into him from both sides.

“Fuck,” he croaks, “how come you both have like. Monster cocks.”

Seokjin breaks the kiss to smirk at him. Then he arches a brow and says; “it’s a Kim thing.”

Yoongi scoffs. “Of course it is.”

“Do you wanna see?” Taehyung croons right beside his ear, probably referring to Seokjin’s dick since that’s the only one in the room that he hasn’t seen yet.

“I wanna get off,” Yoongi grumbles. It’s not like he doesn’t want to see all the dicks, he’s just feeling bratty. And mostly he wants them to keep touching him everywhere, to keep all of their attention on him — to be filled to capacity until he sees stars.

“Oh poor baby,” Taehyung coos exaggeratedly. “You heard him Jinnie, hurry up, get your clothes off.”

“I just got here! And I’m your hyung, watch your tone,” Seokjin scolds him, but he’s already getting up to yank his shirt and pants off.

Taehyung pets Yoongi while they wait, one hand sneaking down until he can wrap it around Yoongi’s cock and give it a few light strokes. His other (giant) hand ends up in Yoongi’s hair. 

“Do you want his ass or his mouth hyung,” Taehyung says politely, conversationally, voice full of fake innocence. “Since you’re the hyung—” he continues, “—and you saw him first, and he has a crush on you and everything — I’ll let you pick first!”

Seokjin side-eyes him. “How generous of you,” he says as he pulls off his underwear and his cock finally springs into view. Yoongi’s mouth waters at the sight. Seokjin’s not even completely hard yet, but he’s already huge. 

“Finding out about this alleged crush while he literally had some other dude inside of him wasn’t exactly how I fantasized about things playing out,” Seokjins says with his big dick just out on display.

“I’m not just some guy!” Taehyung complains. “And I only had a couple of fingers in him! And you’re welcome!!”

Seokjin joins them on the bed again, and his voice softens when he reaches out to caress Yoongi’s cheek. “What do you want, Yoongi-chi?” he says.

“Anything — whichever way you want me — hyung,” Yoongi breathes, and he really means it, no matter how much of a slut it makes him sound like.

“Delicious,” Seokjin says, and gives him a chaste kiss on the lips. Then he pulls back and speaks to Taehyung. “Did you put anything in his mouth yet?”

“Just my tongue, hyung,” Taehyung replies, coy.

“Not your dirty dog dick?”

“No, hyung,” Taehyung snickers, but he’s answering truthfully. He brings his fingers to Yoongi’s mouth and toys with the corner of it. Yoongi opens up, letting two fingers slip in easily while he keeps his eyes trained on Seokjin. “Oops. You want it?” Taehyung asks.

“Yeah,” Seokjin breathes. He’s started fisting his own dick now, and he leans in and slots his mouth against Yoongi’s mouth, slipping his tongue in alongside Taehyung’s fingers. It feels absolutely filthy. Then Seokjin pulls back and looks at Taehyung again. “I’ll let you take his ass since you already got started, and I get his mouth first.”

“Deal!” Taehyung says gleefully. Seokjin looks at Yoongi and asks, “is that okay with you Yoongi-chi?”

Yoongi feels like his whole body is flushed from listening to them talk about him like that, while he’s right there in front of them. It’s dirty and filthy a he’s absolutely desperate for it.

“Please,” he begs.

“See?” Taehyung says and gives Yoongi’s ass a light smack. “I knew your boy was a slut from the moment I opened the door and laid eyes on him, pouty lil twink. He’s gagging for it.”

“Hey, watch your mouth. Don’t talk about my crush like that,” Seokjin shoots back at him.

It makes Yoongi laugh, and then Taehyung starts up again, and even Seokjin starts laughing with them, until — wait, when did the laughing turn into kissing? They get lost in sloppy kissing and writhing against each other for a minute until Taehyung stops and says to Yoongi; “Hey, I’ve got an idea. How about you get on the bench baby?”

It takes Yoongi’s fuzzy brain a second to figure out what Taehyung’s even talking about, but once he realizes — he looks over at the tattoo bench, and it does look like if he were to, say, get on his knees and elbows on top of it, he’d be in the perfect position for the two of them to — yeah.

With shaky breath and on shaky legs, Yoongi gets up and moves to the bench. He’s way too impatient to drag it out, so, buck naked and with all his pale skin all flushed pink, he gets on his hands and knees on the tattoo bench. Once he’s in position he looks up and flutters his lashes at Seokjin.

Both Seokjin and Taehyung are staring at him a bit awestruck, until Seokjin shakes his head, looks at Taehyung and says; “you evil fucking genius.”

They both approach, circling him like a couple of hungry wolves before they close in and put their hands on him, gentle, just touching and caressing at first. 

“Please—” Yoongi starts, but then Seokjin grips his jaw and shushes him, gently. 

“We’re almost there Yoongi-chi, be good.”

Yoongi feels Taehyung settle behind him, and he must’ve picked the lube back up somewhere along the way because next he feels something cold drip down his ass-crack and over his hole again.

He feels like his whole body is throbbing in anticipation, still buzzed, still feeling everything so much. He tries to calm himself by focusing on how his knees and elbows dig into the sticky pleather covering the bench.

Seokjin’s hand soothes over his cheek and then a thumb slips past his lips, bringing his focus back to his mouth as he starts sucking.

“Good boy,” Seokjin says, “just focus on me while Tae makes sure you’re ready for him, yeah?” Yoongi sucks while Seokjin pumps his thumb in and out of his mouth a couple of times, then presses down on his tongue. He registers that Seokjin’s other hand is fisting his dick, which doesn’t look like it can possibly get much harder. Yoongi’s so hard himself that it’s starting to ache.

Then he feels fingers enter his ass again, two of them for a brief moment, and then three again by the feel of the stretch and the sound of the lube squelching as they press insistently into his hole. Yoongi groans around the thumb in his mouth, and Seokjin murmurs “good boy” again as he brings his cock up to rub the shiny, pre-cum slicked head of it over Yoongi’s lips.

Yoongi opens his mouth as wide as he can — in his heightened state it feels a little bit like he’s trying to unhinge his jaw, but he’s just doing his best. Then he sticks his tongue out and looks up at Seokjin from under his lashes. 

Seokjin lets out a long shuddery breath as he slides his cock into Yoongi’s mouth. Yoongi feels his mouth stretch at the corners and tries to relax his throat, which actually isn’t that hard since he feels like his whole body is made out of jelly right now.

“Oh fuck,” Seokjin moans as he pushes against the back of Yoongi’s throat. Yoongi swallows around him. “Ah — he’s taking me so well Tae,”

“Yeah?” Taehyung replies, voice breathy, “Aren’t you glad hyung, that I got him all warmed up and ready for you?”

“Don’t test me,” Seokjin replies, and Yoongi feels his hand tighten in his hair as Seokjin slowly fucks down his throat. 

Yoongi knows that it probably shouldn’t turn him on — but there’s something he finds so incredibly hot about hearing the two of them talk about him like that, like he’s not even there — like he’s just a toy, an object for them to play with and fuck into.

Yoongi chokes a little, lost in his thoughts and the heat in the pit of his belly. Seokjin’s cock is filling his mouth up to capacity, even though it feels like barely half of it’s in. Seokjin lets up and soothes his thumb down his cheek. “It’s okay baby, breathe,” he says while Yoongi lets out a brief cough, but opens his mouth right back up again and looks up at Seokjin, hungry for more. Seokjin fucks his mouth shallowly for a bit with just the head of his cock. “Who would’ve known you’d be such an insatiable little harlot hm? Is Tae making you feel good?”

Yoongi tries to nod, which is a bit difficult with a dick in his mouth, and then we wiggles back on to the three fingers that are still just pumping lazily in and out of his ass — or is it four now? He can’t tell, feeling all loose and floaty.

“I think he’s ready for me hyung,” Yoongi hears Taehyung groan. “Can I put it in now?”

Seokjin hums. “Like you’d ever actually listen to what I told you to do anyway.”

Yoongi hears a snicker behind him, and then the snap of a condom. Oh right, he thinks. Uhm, good. The lube bottle is squeezed one more time, and soon enough the blunt head of a cock is pushing against his hole, pushing and pushing until his ass sucks it in and oh god, the stretch is no joke. 

He wants to look back over his shoulder and watch it, see Taehyung’s face while he pushes into him, impossibly hard and thick, but he can’t move his head because he’s got Seokjin’s cock in his mouth and Seokjin’s hand tightening in his hair. “Ohh, good boy,” Seokjin groans, starting to fuck deeper into his mouth again, little by little. “Relax and focus on me baby,” he says.

Yoongi whines as Taehyung bottoms out, then stops to breathe and let Yoongi adjust. Yoongi barely gets a chance to focus on the burn of the stretch though, because Seokjin keeps talking to him while pushing back down into his throat. “Barely got a gag reflex on him huh,” Seokjin murmurs while Yoongi feels the drool collect and leak out the corners of his mouth. “Is this what you wanted baby? Wanted to get fucked by the big bad wolf? Wanted it so bad that you rolled right over and spread your legs for him, hm?”

Yoongi can only whine, throat hoarse from getting fucked. 

“I’ve been trying to shoot my shot for months—” Seokjin continues, his voice calm and soothing, “—and all he had to do was look at you a certain way and show you his stupid tattoos, isn’t that right? Such an easy little slut and I had no idea, can’t believe I thought you were a shy little flower.”

Yoongi whimpers and then gags on the cock in his throat. The hand in his hair tugs at his scalp and the cock eases up again to let him breathe. He feels the spit run down his chin like a river, and suddenly he realizes his ass doesn’t hurt too bad anymore. Taehyung is whining behind him, starting to rock his hips against him minutely.

“Hyung,” Taehyung whimpers, most certainly directed at Seokjin. “Shit, he feels so good, can I move?”

Seokjin looks down into Yoongi’s eyes, which have most certainly become all red and teary, judging from the way they feel. “Are you okay baby? Can he move?”

Yoongi tries to nod as enthusiastically as he can in the state he’s in, and at the same time he pushes his ass back to meet Taehyung.

“Alright, move,” Seokjin orders, and Taehyung fully takes him up on it. He starts pounding into Yoongi with full force, which just launches Yoongi further onto Seokjin’s dick. Seokjin takes a small step back and holds on to Yoongi’s head, trying to protect him from suffocating, and all Yoongi can do is drool and moan and try not to choke.

“Ah, hyung, he feels so good,” Yoongi hears Taehyung whine all breathy behind him as he pistons into him. “He’s so fucking tight hyung, shit, so tight and perfect, feels so good on my cock.”

“Oh yeah?” Seokjin says, somehow the only one still keeping his cool. He caresses Yoongi’s cheek as Yoongi whines, overwhelmed. “Well, aren’t you the lucky one Tae,” Seokjin adds.

“Remember hyung,” Taehyung continues, breathless, and suddeny he’s coming closer —  he’s still fucking Yoongi, but he’s folding himself over his back and planting his hands on top of the tattoo bench, on either side of Yoongi’s torso. “Remember when you told me—” he says, much closer to Yoongi’s ear now, “— ahh — hah — remember — when we got high, and you told me about the cute little twink you play board games with sometimes, about how he had — ahh — a perky little ass, and how you bet — ahh — how you bet he’d be so tight, he’d feel so sweet and — ah — so tight —  and — ahha — then you fucked me hyung, and you kept telling me about him while you fucked me, and it felt so nice, it was so hot — ahhh—”

Yoongi hears Seokjin sigh above him and he’s not sure if it’s in pleasure or annoyance. He guesses it’s probably a combination of both. “You’re a bastard,” is all Seokjin says in response. He’s fucking lazily and shallowly into Yoongi’s mouth again, as much as he can manage while Yoongi feels like he’s about to be driven down into the bench by Taehyung looming across his back and relentless inside him.

“But he feels even better — ahh — than I imagined back then hyung, even sweeter and hotter than I imagined, you should try him, feels so fucking good—”

Yoongi is feeling pretty fucking good himself, like, about-to-hurtle-over-the-edge good. There’s so much pressure on everything courtesy of Taehyung’s monster cock, that he feels sort of like it’s pushing on his bladder from the inside, or at least he feels unsure whether he’s about to cum or piss himself. He’d prefer to just stick with the former, if he can help it. 

Suddenly Seokjin removes his dick from his mouth, but replaces it with a thumb, although his hold is loose enough that Yoongi can finally look over his shoulder. He looks back as Seokjin crouches down, until he’s eye-level with Taehyung, and then grabs Taehyung by his mop of hair and says, “insufferable bastard.” Then Seokjin licks into Taehyung’s open and moaning mouth, rough and sloppy. Suddenly, as Yoongi is craning his neck to watch them swap spit, Seokjin’s thumb still in his mouth, Yoongi’s orgasm completely takes him by surprise; he shouts as it crashes over him, uncontrollable, and he shoots his load all over the shiny fake leather of the bench. Everything tightens up as he cums, which makes Taehyung shout too, and then he’s frantically saying “oh god hyung I’m gonnacum, I can’t hold it I’mcumming!!” and all Yoongi can do is take it and whimper as Taehyung whines and rides out his orgasm, filling the condom in his ass as he slows down. 

Seokjin stays where he is, kneeling and petting them both through it. “Good boy,” he says to Yoongi one more time, and then he squeezes the tip of his over-sensitive cock, making the last drop of cum dribble from the slit of it. Yoongi whines and tries to wiggle away from the touch, ultimately crumpling in on himself and collapsing into the pool of his own cum on the bench. Taehyung, sweaty and panting, pulls his dick out, pulls the condom off, ties it shut and then stretches it and slingshots it to the far corner of the room. Somewhere in the far corner of Yoongi’s brain a voice says ‘gross’, but a part of him is still endeared somehow, even if he feels like he just got fucked into an alternate dimension. Seokjin ruffles Taehyun’s hair and says; “see Yoongi-chi, he’s all talk and no stamina. He’s pretty, but he fucks like a dog, with an emphasis on the lack of self-control.”

Taehyung just grins and shrugs, sliding down the wall behind him to pant on the floor some more. “You should fuck him now hyung, he can take it,” he says to Seokjin, who’s still just petting Yoongi and lazily pumping his own cock, which is still rock hard and angry red. “The condoms are over there,” Taehyung vaguely gestures to the box on the floor, smirking. “I already got him all stretched and ready for you, he’s all yours now.” 

I’m pretty beat but I can take it, Yoongi thinks to himself, fire crackling back to life in his belly as he thinks about Seokjin using him next — thinks about being over-stimulated until it hurts.

Seokjin gives him a long, loaded look and then he says; “Yoongi-chi, I’d be happy to fuck your tight little ass that I’ve heard so much about, but maybe some other time when we have a little more — Stamina? Sobriety? ...Privacy?” He side-eyes Taehyung. “Do you think you would like that Yoongi-yah?”

Yoongi can’t deny that he’s just a tiny bit disappointed that he’s not gonna get fucked unconscious in the next 20 minutes, but he’s also slightly relieved and tingly to hear that Seokjin wants to gave sex with him again — later. He nods as much as he can given his circumstances, but then he pouts and says; “want you to come though…”

Seokjin smiles and grips himself a little tighter, his lips parting in a soft breath out. Yoongi blinks at him, then opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out in invitation. 

“What a perfect boy,” Seokjin mutters as he moves closer and slides the head of his cock back over Yoongi’s tongue and into his mouth.

He’s gentle at first, and Yoongi’s eyes are just about to flutter shut with post-nut bliss, but then Seokjin tugs hard on the roots of his hair, making his eyes fly open. It hurts so good that it makes him groan, and then Seokjin is pushing into his throat again, hard, making Yoongi choke and cough. Seokjin pulls out again to let him suck in a breath. “Too much?” he asks.

Yoongi shakes his head. “No, please. You can be rough, you just caught me off-guard. I’m ready now, please, I’ll squeeze your thigh if it’s too much.” He does his best to make his eyes big and pleading and feels tears forming in the corners of them again, technically from the coughing and not from desperation to get his face fucked by Kim Seokjin’s monster cock, although that might just as well be the reason.

“Do it hyung, he deserves it, he’s been naughty~ ” Taehyung urges him on, sounding gleeful but tired somewhere in his post-nut corner.

“Okay cutie, if you promise to let me know if it’s too much.”

Yoongi gives a quick enthusiastic nod and then he’s letting his mouth fall open again and bracing himself. It’s just as well, because Seokjin grabs him by the hair again and starts fucking his mouth in earnest. Yoongi feels like his jaw is going to unhinge for real now, it’s aching so deliciously. His throat burns as the head of Seokjin’s cock hits the back of it, tears streaming down his cheeks and drool dripping from his chin. 

“Take it, slut,” Seokjin mutters in-between grunts, and then he hears Taehyung happily croak; “fuck yeah, give it to him!” from his spot on the floor.

Yoongi moans around the cock, which makes Seokjin groan even louder, and soon his thrusts are getting more erratic until he abruptly pulls out and strokes his cock a couple of times — then he’s coming all over Yoongi’s face while Yoongi coughs and sucks in deep breaths. 

As Yoongi’s breaths even out and the last weak little spurt of cum dribbles out of Seokjin and over his own fist, he mutters “fuck, that’s pretty,” as he gazes down at Yoongi.

Yoongi feels tired now, bone deep satisfaction flowing through his whole body. 

“The twink has been obliterated!” Taehyung suddenly announces happily, having scooted up closer to look at Yoongi’s face.

“How about you get me something to clean him up with,” Seokjin says.

Taehyung looks over his shoulder and then reaches for a T-shirt that’s lying crumpled on the floor close to him.

“That’s my T-shirt, go get a washcloth from the bathroom!”

“Can’t, my bones are jelly,” Taehyung says, making himself dramatically collapse into a pile on the floor. 

“Annoying bastard,” Seokjin curses on his way out.

Taehyung grins and gets up again as soon as Seokjin is out the door. “Come lay on the bed, it’s cuddle time now,” he tells Yoongi. “You look like a cute little glazed donut!”

Yoongi grins back at him as he forces himself to get up and move to the bed. He swipes a finger through the cum on his face, curious, and pops it in his mouth. Not too bad, he thinks. I could eat this cum again, several more times even.

Seokjin comes back with a washcloth and attentively wipes Yoongi down. Then he shoves them apart and squeezes in between them on the bed, wrapping strong arms around each boy and tucking them into his sides. 

“Dumbasses,” he says, “how do you guys feel?”

“Good,” they both say in unison, and then giggle.

Yoongi knows in the back of his mind that at some point he’s going to start to worry about the meaning of all this, about the consequences of this absolutely wild series of events — he’ll wonder what on earth will happen next, but not yet. Right now he’s just going to let himself bask in the post-coital bliss, in the feeling of Seokjin’s warm, solid body against his cheek, and the sight of Taehyung’s gorgeous eyes fluttering shut on the other side of it. He’s still a little stoned, maybe a bit hungry, a lot content.

Yoongi’s eyes travel from Taehyung’s face and up Seokjin’s chest, and land on a tiny silver charm hanging from a thin silver chain, something he hadn’t really noticed before, too busy getting plowed.

“What’s this… horse… man… hunter… thing. On your necklace,” he asks, brain not yet ready to put the right words together to describe what he’s looking at.

Seokjin peers down at his chest and Taehyung giggles. “Centaur!” Taehyung says, “the horse man thing is called a centaur, hyung! It's a sagittarius, it’s hyung’s western astrological sign.”

“Ah,” Yoongi says, the cogs in his brain slowly starting to turn. He should’ve realized that. “But if he’s half horse and half man… and he’s out there like—” he gestures at the charm “—galloping around like that , and hunting with his bow, is he hunting, like, other animals, or is he hunting like… humans?”

Taehyung starts giggling, which then turns into a full-blown laugh, and Yoongi, smiling, says “what?”   but then instantly starts laughing himself.

Seokjin sighs long and loud, but he’s smiling, and then he says “okay, I think it’s time I order you bozos some food. You’ll have to sober up at some point.” As he gets up and starts looking for his phone, Yoongi smiles and says; “while we wait for delivery — I know there’s a container of spicy beef soup in the fridge that’s ripe for sipping.”

🐾

Once they’ve dressed and moved into the kitchen, Yoongi does remember to fish his phone out of his jacket pocket to text Jimin. There’s a few missed calls, all from Jimin, as well as a string of text messages. 

From Jimin: 

Ah hyung I’m so sorry, Hoseok went to stay the night at his parents’ house cause he really wasn’t feeling well, I should’ve called him before you left so you wouldn’t have had to inconvenience yourself with the soup, sorry 😞

hyung where are you, are you finally making out with jin hyung, lol

can you just let me know that you’re okay, I’m kinda worried since you’re not picking up and I called seokjin hyung and he said he isn’t home either. Sorry, you know how I am, my brain just starts to cycle through all the bad things that could’ve happened 🥺

... okay seokjin just texted me that he’s home and you’re there and you’re fine?? Okay now I’ve gone from dying of worry to dying of curiosity PLEASE text me asap. 

did you just decide to chill with the new roommate whom you’ve never met before??? That’s so unlike you lmao.

From Yoongi: 

sorry I made you worried jiminie, got carried away in an umnexpected turn of event

I’ll gonna have a snack with SJ & TH anf then I’ll head home.

Lets just say u can look frward to my autobiagraphy, titled “spitroasted on the tattoo bench”

From Jimin: 

!!!!!!!!!!????!!!!???!??!!?!!!!!!!!!!!  

bitch you better snack fast and hurry home

🐾 Epilogue 🐾

Before Yoongi gets a chance to worry too much about what all of it meant, Seokjin asks him out on a proper date. He takes Yoongi to a nice restaurant where he buys him meat and drinks and the conversation flows smoothly. When Seokjin finally does fuck Yoongi, a couple of dates later, it’s sweet and hot, slow and sober. They become pretty inseparable from then onwards. Taehyung hangs out with them often, and they make it clear that he’s welcome to join them in the bedroom when he wants to, which he sometimes takes them up on. He keeps a certain distance at first, keeping his long line of pretty boys coming through his bedroom to get high with and fuck, but then the line of boys starts getting shorter and shorter, and Taehyung starts staying longer and longer in Seokjin and Yoongi’s company. Then one day there are no more pretty boys coming through his bedroom besides Seokjin and Yoongi, who finally manage to convince him that they want him to be with them for good. Taehyung eventually gets hired full-time at the tattoo parlor and stops selling (and giving away) drugs. Yeonjun and Beomgyu also stop messing with drugs, and start getting better grades and being nicer to their moms. Everyone lives happily ever after, the end :-)