Work Text:
Connor…was okay.
He wasn’t great, he wasn’t drowning in these emotions….he was okay.
Deviancy hadn’t come easy to the android; his programming literally made to fight back against it, and his mission to find and apprehend what he had become.
Connor struggled sometimes, but he was okay. He had Hank. He had Sumo. He was okay.
Being reinstated at the precinct as an officer helped a little. It was familiar. It gave him a purpose.
Chris was nice to him, but then again, he was nice to everyone. Nothing new there. Tina seemed to have a soft spot for the brunette, and Reed was…well. Reed.
The feelings that came from the cases he worked on wasn’t familiar. It had no purpose.
The crushing weight he felt on his chest whenever he spoke with a witness or victim wasn’t familiar. The sudden emptiness he’d feel when stepping into another crime scene he wasn’t accustomed to. The shiver of dread he’d feel when he was out numbered and that slight hesitation gifted to him in the form of deviancy wasn’t normal. It was all new, it was all weird. He didn’t like.
So he crushed it down, hid it away and pretended it didn’t happen. If he couldn’t feel, he couldn’t be hurt.
Connor avoided other androids as a civilian; guilt eating away at him every time he saw an android’s eyes widen at him, or flinch away. He’d been made to hunt them. To hurt them. He couldn’t take those actions back, so he did the only thing he could think of. He stayed away.
And stay away he wished he could right now, but unfortunately a case had brought him and Hank to Jericho, a place Connor refused to visit, no matter how many times Hank insisted he needed to talk to the others.
He felt like he had no right being there. It was supposed to be a safe haven. How could it be while he was there?
Standing at the front entrance, Connor quickly squashed it all down, his LED spinning a constant yellow. Hank was looking at him with an unreadable expression, maybe with a hint of concern? Connor wasn’t sure. He wasn’t the best at expressing emotions.
Shaking it off, Connor stepped forward, Hank following, and the two made their way to the reception where Markus was waiting for them to arrive.
“Connor!” Markus gave the brunette a kind smile, holding out his hand. “It is nice to see you. I don’t think we’ve seen you since the revolution. How have you been faring?”
For a second Connor was stumped. Markus, the Deviant Leader, the one who lead the revolution and had no reason to trust or believe in him, was asking about his wellbeing.
A nudge to his shoulder from Hank made Connor remember that he was supposed to respond.
“Yes. I apologise. Work has taken up the majority of my time and I have had my reasons to stay away.”
Markus frowned. He noticed the little glance towards his outstretched arm and the nod in greeting, so he let his drop.
“Ah…Do know that you have a place here, okay? You’re as much as one of us as anyone here.”
Both Hank and Markus didn’t miss the subtle uncomfortable look and stance adjustment from the android in question, but no one said anything.
“May you take us to the room in question? It would be best to start sooner than later.” Connor switched the subject quickly, making fast progress and wanting to leave as soon as possible. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable and didn’t know what to make of Markus’ concern, so he shoved it all to the side and schooled his expression once again. He didn’t need it getting in the way of his work.
“…Sure.”
Being led to another room a couple floors up, the three ended up in a room that looked like an office, all professional and precise – minus the drawings all over the walls.
“…The kids like to get creative and decided to…redecorate.” Was the explanation.
Hank had a small uplift of the corner of his mouth as he glanced at all the drawings and Markus’ reasoning, whereas Connor stiffly walked over to the desk at the far end of the room and stood with his hands behind his back.
There had been an increase in android hate crimes recently, now that things had died down and the city had calmed after the revolution. People were beginning to want to make their voices heard, but this was different. Androids were being found all over with specific biocomponents missing; the android’s themselves deactivated and their Thirium gone.
It was beginning to look like the beginnings of a serial killer or black-market specialist, and either way, it wasn’t good.
The DPD were to work with Markus, as of right now, and from there on they spoke about what measures were being taken to provide safety in New Jericho and any other precautions they could do that would benefit them all till the perpetrator was caught.
Connor was in his element. He let the work suck him in, leaving all traces of doubt and emotion behind.
Hank would cast the odd look at him every so often; an underlying hint of concern or worry. Markus kept frowning at him, but when he caught his eye the man just smiled. It was odd.
“Despite all these measures taking place, the children still have plenty of room to run around and play, which was one of our concerns. We didn’t want to restrict anyone’s movement here too much, since that would just be too controlling and cause more fear. It seems to be working so far.”
It was a good thing, in amongst the badness, but Connor kept his expression neutral. He wasn’t quite used to showing his emotions outwardly, even when they were good, but he was trying. For now though, he was working. It could wait.
Markus frowned deeper at his lack of reaction, but nothing was thought of it.
“That…is good.” Connor offered. “We also need to talk to one of the witnesses here, as you know. Perhaps you could talk them into coming here so we can speak? I don’t believe my presence would be welcome around New Jericho if I were to go myself.”
“What do you mean?” The look Markus gave him was confusing.
“You know what I mean. Androids do not feel comfortable around me. Seeing me wandering around would likely scare them and I wish to avoid that.”
The thought upset him, but he refused to show it.
“I…will, but maybe we could wait a while longer. Jacob was Natalie’s friend, I’m sure the circumstances she found him in have affected her greatly.”
“I agree, but time is of the essence. It would be better to receive her statement sooner rather than later so we can close this case.”
Connor didn’t see the off-putting expression on Markus’ face, his attention wandering around the room. He wanted to close this case quickly, before anyone else got hurt. The more people who were targeted, the more Connor felt useless. It should have been closed ages ago.
He knew he didn’t deserve it, but maybe, just maybe, after this was over, he could have someone to talk to. Hank was amazing, and he appreciated everything he had done for him, but…he was lonely. He meant what he had said. Androids were scared of him, and the ones who weren’t showed hatred. That, he knew, he deserved.
But Markus was different. He had shown him kindness, even a little worry about his wellbeing. He might…he might even make a friend.
The corner of Connor’s lips twitched up slightly; the beginning of a smile.
“Not everything is about work, Connor. These are people’s lives, not just a case.”
“I know, but the sooner we close the case, the less-”
“You know,” Markus cut him off, frustrated, “the androids here might not be so wary of you if you stopped acting like a machine.”
All traces of his smile vanished.
It wasn’t said angrily; no venom was heard in the leader’s tone. But…it hurt.
Connor was trying, he really was. It just…wasn’t easy. He should have known better than to hope.
Connor’s face crumbled for a second, hurt written across his features as his LED flashed red. Quickly, he forced the LED back to a pulsing yellow and his face to go to blank.
Markus had a look of regret on his face, immediately knowing he’d said the wrong thing. And Hank?
Hank looked pissed.
“Connor, I-”
“What the fuck did you just say to him?!” Hank took a step forward, prepared to get in the leader’s face.
“I didn’t mean- I only meant that…”
“Some fucking leader you are. You claim to stand for all androids, and you just literally called him what you fight against not being. What a fucking joke.”
Connor remained silent. His gaze was fixed to the side on the wall as he tried to sort through his thoughts. He felt cold, like ice was flowing through his Thirium lines, and it felt like a weight had settled across his chest.
Whatever argument was going on was completely lost to him, as his mind shut down and all feeling was lost. He felt like he was underwater.
A warm hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality, and he looked up to see Hank’s worried eyes looking back at him.
“Come on, son. We’re leaving now. We can get Tina or someone to come down, you don’t have to put up with this shit.”
Connor’s face might have been blank, his posture tense, but the look in his eyes said it all.
“…I-I’m trying.”
Hank’s heart fucking broke.
Markus looked pained at that, but stayed quiet in case he made things worse.
“I know you are, kid. And you’re doing great. Come on.”
With that, Hank steered the emotionally distraught deviant towards the door. Turning back for a second, he lowly spat out, “You have no idea what he’s gone through, and what he’s still having to deal with. How fucking dare you.”
With that, they left.
---
There was only half an hour left of the duo’s shift so Hank took the kid home. Depositing the brunette on the couch, the Lieutenant coaxed Sumo up beside him and watched as the detective sunk his hands into the dog’s fur, before giving in and giving the big furball a hug. He knew he wasn’t going to let go any time soon.
Sumo seemed to preen under the attention, letting out a big happy sigh as he contently wagged his tail and flopped over the android.
Sitting beside said android, Hank watched his expression carefully.
“You okay, kid?”
Connor paused.
“…I’m fine.”
Hank scrunched his face up.
“Bullshit. It’s okay to not be fine, alright? What that so-called leader said was completely uncalled for.”
Connor hummed distantly, so letting the android think that over, he stood up and went into the kitchen. The kid couldn’t eat or drink, not yet anyway, so they’d experimented with warming and freezing Thirium, making it into different shapes and temperatures. When Hank first warmed a mug of it up, he couldn’t contain his laughter as the kid’s eyes lit up and claimed it sent warm shivers throughout his body. Connor had been smitten ever since.
Every time it was cold, or a case had been particularly gruesome or hard, Hank always warmed some Thirium up and made himself some hot chocolate. It was a thing. This time was no different.
He set the mug in the microwave, and turned it on. Coming back into the living room, he settled down on the couch again, and began to run his fingers through Connor's hair.
The android immediately melted into the familiar touch. It was calming.
Connor swallowed. He’d made up his mind.
“It’s…hard.”
Hank stayed quiet, letting the boy gather his thoughts and say what he needed to.
“I-I wasn’t made to be able to deviate. But I did. I was made to hunt deviants, and I became one myself. I’ve done things I regret, things I wish I could take back, but, but I can’t.” He squeezed Sumo a little tighter.
“Kid. Before you deviated, that wasn’t you. You didn’t make those decisions, instead you had to do what you were told. Difference is, you fought back. You resisted your programming and kicked that bitch outta your head. You made that decision. You chose to do what was right. And you’re still here.”
Connor looked at Hank, eyes begging for the truth, hoping for sincerity. He found it.
“You’re a good person, Connor.”
The first few tears slipped down his face that night.
---
The two had the day off the next day, which was why Hank was not happy when a knock was heard at the door.
It was nine am, and yes, he was awake, but he enjoyed laying in bed doing absolutely nothing, thank you very much.
Connor used to get up early all the time, even when he didn’t have to go to work. Even when he didn’t have work at all, before he joined the DPD. Hank had explained that he didn’t have to, and that lie-ins may be unproductive, but they were great for restoring your energy.
(He may have also wanted to just lie-in himself, but with Connor clattering around in the kitchen at ass-o’clock, it was impossible.)
But he was slightly worried. Connor only really stayed in his room when he was upset or too injured to. He needed to check on him.
The knock came again and he groaned, throwing on a clean top as he made his way to the front door.
Opening it, he took one look at who was there before closing it again.
“Lieutenant Anderson! Please let me talk.” Came the leader’s voice through the door, and Hank opened it again to stop him from raising his voice.
“What are you doing here? I think you’ve done enough damage.” He scowled.
Markus looked remorseful.
“I…I came to apologise. I truly didn’t mean what I said, it just came out wrong.”
Hank searched his face for a few seconds, before internally sighing.
“If he doesn’t want to see you, you’re out. If you hurt him again…” He left that hanging.
Markus quickly nodded, stepping inside the house.
Hank wandered off in a certain direction, leaving Markus standing awkwardly by the door.
Knocking on the bedroom he’d given to Connor when he’d first found out the kid had no place to go, he called out softly.
“Connor, can I come in?” A soft ‘yes’ was heard and Hank opened the door to a dark room, stepping inside and closing it again behind him.
Connor was sat on his bed, legs pulled up to his chest as he looked at the wall in front of him. Hearing Hank enter, he turned his head in his direction and felt himself relax slightly at his presence.
“Hey, kid. You alright?” Hank sat down on the edge of his bed, putting a hand on one of Connor’s knees.
“…Yes.” His expression hadn’t changed.
Sighing, the Lieutenant decided to get it over with.
“You have a visitor. Markus is here.” Connor visibly tensed. “But if you don’t want to see him, I’ll kick his ass outta here faster than you can say ‘Sumo’.
A slight pull at the side of Connor’s mouth caught Hank’s eyes, so he took it as a win.
“No…it’s okay. It must be important for him to be here.” With that, he pushed himself off the bed, and headed out into the area that lead to the door.
When Markus saw Connor heading towards him, resigned expression and in sweatpants and a t-shirt, he immediately felt his non-existent stomach plummet.
He was far from a machine, you only had to look at him. The emotion that shone in his eyes was stronger than any he’d seen before.
That and the look Hank was sending him was terrifying.
“Hey, Connor.”
“Markus.” The man winced at how curt it sounded.
“Listen. I came to apologise. I-” Connor was about to wave him off, say it was fine and he understood, but Markus pushed on.
“No, it’s important. You’re not a machine, and I don’t think you even come close to it. I truly didn’t mean what I said to you. It was unfair and uncalled for. You didn’t deserve it.”
He didn’t deserve it.
“I…”
“You can be…clinical, sometimes, which isn’t a bad thing. That is all I meant. I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me one day, but I don’t expect you to immediately.”
“I-I forgive you, Markus.” Connor finally looked him in the eye. “I didn’t mean it yesterday the way you thought I did. I only wanted to close the case as quick as I did because I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt.”
Well. That made him feel ten times worse. But he’d already guessed that.
“I know. And I’m sorry. Truly.”
“It’s okay.”
Markus held out a hand, a move he knew he probably shouldn’t have tried, but did it anyway.
Connor stared at it for a few seconds, and Markus was about to drop his hand when Connor took it.
With the hand shake, a silent truce was made.
Connor felt a bit of the weight lift from his chest. It was still there, but…it was getting better.
Hank sent him a questioning look. He nodded.
He was okay.