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"This is... This is simply too much, Colonel. I'm a genius astrophysicist, not a...a...a sacrificial virgin."
Ronon smirked as Sheppard reached for the vine-like rope that was wrapped around McKay's wrists, keeping him tied upright to the bar above his head. His TAC vest was missing and so was the rest of his clothing leaving him swinging naked in the breeze in every sense of the phrase.
Just from looking at him, Ronon could see why the natives had picked on Rodney for their sacrifice; the color of his skin was in complete contrast to everyone else on the planet, including Sheppard who had a deep, coppery tone about his flesh from days spent sunbathing out on the east pier.
Where the sun had not touched parts of his body in years, Rodney had the softest, palest skin that was almost the color of fresh-fallen snow. His surprisingly firm and muscular ass was on display for all to see and if Ronon had not preferred women then he might have been tempted by the pristine curves and alabaster flesh. However, the natives had not seen that pure white ass until after they had grabbed the scientist and pulled off all his clothing. Instead, the light brown hair and eyes the color of the living Ringwater had sealed his fate in a world where everyone else was dark-haired, dark-skinned and dark-eyed.
"This is so embarrassing," Rodney whined as John reached for the other wrist and cut him free. "I bet this never happened to O'Neill and Jackson." He shot a venomous look at Sheppard as if it was all the Colonel's fault that these people had taken a fancy to him.
"I'm sure they had their own share of...misadventures."
Ronon snorted softly as McKay made references to some King Kong wanting his virgin ass. McKay froze mid-sentence when a massive, naked warrior stepped out in front of them, wielding a short stabbing spear in one hand while the other was fondling his genitals roughly, jabbering at McKay at the same time. The leer on his face was unmistakable.
"Well. He's big...and he's hairy, I'll give you that, Rodney," Sheppard stated, and Ronon could see that both their eyes were glued to the huge purple and black cock standing fully-erect from a veritable bush of black pubic hair. Ronon flicked his glance across and caught the open-mouthed, wide-eyed horror on McKay's face but his attention was then drawn back to Sheppard as the Colonel spoke softly.
"O...kay, time to execute the coitus interruptus maneuver."
"The...what?" Ronon had to ask because Sheppard had never mentioned that tactic before.
"A quick and safe withdrawal before things reach a climax."
"Oh, very funny, Colonel. Obviously, you missed your true calling as a stand-up comedian."
"I could leave you here, Rodney."
"What? You wouldn't..." Sheppard's soft voice had held a teasing edge that McKay had failed to recognize at first. Horror gave way to a contemptuous look as McKay grabbed for the jacket Sheppard had shrugged out of, tying it around his midriff to cover his shredded dignity. "I am so telling Elizabeth about this."
"Good for you, Rodney. She needs a good laugh as much as the rest of us," Sheppard quipped back as he slowly drew them back towards the Stargate where Teyla had already dialed up Atlantis and was sending through her IDC.
This was the dangerous time, when a wrong move could set the native warriors in motion, so Ronon was glad the sacrificial altar had been set up fairly close to the Stargate as it meant they didn't have a lot of ground left to cover. Even McKay could make it in seconds. Privately, he hoped they would get away without using brute force because, despite their intention of sacrificing McKay's supposed virginity, these people had been really friendly and generous to the rest of them.
Ronon and Sheppard formed a human wall between McKay and the natives as they made their way up the final few steps to the shimmering surface of the Stargate. McKay's cut-off tirade coincided with the slurping noise of a body entering the open Stargate, leaving Ronon and Sheppard standing in silence just in front of the wormhole. A single step backwards and Ronon lost all sense of being until he stepped back into the gate room in Atlantis, watching with interest as the shield snapped into place. Behind him, he could hear McKay snapping at anyone close by.
"Well, we can scratch that planet off the list of possible allies and trade partners," Sheppard remarked dryly.
Ronon laughed softly as McKay made off at a brisk pace, heading back to his quarters to reclaim some decent clothing and his dignity, with Sheppard striding out beside him. He heard a squawk of indignation as Sheppard carried on teasing him until they were out of earshot. No doubt that teasing would turn to something far less antagonistic once they reached the privacy of McKay's quarters.
From the possessive, lustful look on Sheppard's face, Ronon doubted McKay would be getting dressed any time soon.
END