Archive of Our Own ^beta

“If you married her, you’d kind of be like Lucifer’s dad.”

“Oh my god!” He did not need that mental image.

“Right? It’s so… so messed up.”

Suddenly, a spark of a conversation with Lucifer filtered back into his mind. “I think he’s thought of that, actually,” Dan admitted.

“What? When?”

“When you pulled Charlotte in on the flight attendant case, when you were interviewing his lovers.”

“Oh my God! No wonder he was so upset!” Chloe giggled. “Why wouldn’t he just admit it then?”

“Well,” Dan sighed. “He’d warned me off her. Said he didn’t need a Step-Dan. It didn’t make sense at the time so I just ignored it, but…”

“That would be such a Lucifer way of admitting it.”

“Oh God,” Chloe clearly realized something. “Her interview makes so much more sense now. And her actions on my dad’s case. She was trying to look out for him, in her own twisted way.”

Thinking back over that interview, now that he wasn’t panicking about Charlotte telling Chloe they had slept together, Dan had to agree. In fact, Lucifer’s own reactions also fit perfectly into this new context. “Yeah, twisted’s the right word for it,” he agreed, “but I think you’re right.”

“Man, Lucifer’s dad must have done a number on her. I mean, she was so young when she got together with him; he clearly had some kind of power over her.”

“I mean, he wasn’t exactly the best role model for his kids either, if Lucifer’s any example,” Dan huffed.

Chloe scoffed. “I’m starting to believe that Lucifer is actually his given name,” she admitted. “His dad might actually be the type to name his kid after the Devil. Add that to Lucifer’s insistence that he doesn’t lie, his promiscuity, his complaints about being blamed for other people’s actions, his lack of social graces…”

“Amenadiel was the firstborn, clearly the good one, doing everything he could not to rock the boat,” Dan agreed. “And Lucifer was the rebel, taking most of the wrath. He clearly set the boys against each other… Amenadiel even said something today about Lucifer always being the favorite… textbook dysfunction.”

“Lucifer said something a few weeks back about a younger brother too, one who was always tagging after him and Amenadiel, one who was dangerous and might hurt me on their father’s orders,” Chloe said thoughtfully.

“Well if he takes after their father, that might make sense,” Dan agreed. “Especially if he was considerably younger, left alone with the dad after the others grew up and moved out.”

“Am I crazy, or does Lucifer’s dad sound like a cult leader?” Chloe asked suddenly.

Dan thought back to the seminar on cults that Human Trafficking had given them a few years ago. “You’re… not crazy. That would even explain the biblical names and references. He might be using fewer metaphors than we think.”

“And kids born to cults aren’t always given the proper federal documentation, which would explain his lack of paper trail,” Chloe said, the pieces falling into place. “It would explain a lot about Maze too, if she was raised in the same place. She’s got a lot of the same dysfunction, and they’re tied together by their past…”

They both mulled that over for a few minutes.

“So, say it's true,” Dan finally said. “What changes?”

Chloe thought about that. “We stop teasing Lucifer about sleeping with Charlotte?” she offered.

“Yeah, we probably should do that,” Dan agreed. They might not technically be blood-related, but if Charlotte had actually raised the boys, it didn’t make much difference from an “eww” standpoint. Dan couldn’t imagine people constantly accusing him of sleeping with his own mom, and it said a lot about Lucifer’s mentality that he would rather suffer that than admit their actual relationship.

“Other than that…” Chloe shrugged. “Nothing changes? I mean, Lucifer’s in therapy, so he’s already getting help. And Amenadiel probably is too, given how much their relationship has improved. They’ve reconnected with Charlotte, so clearly they’re all out of the cult now… I think it's important that we don’t treat him differently just because we suspect his dad was an abusive, psychopathic cult leader.”

Dan nodded. “No, that’s fair. He’s still the same smarmy jerk. We just now have a good guess as to why. So, nothing changes?”

“Nothing changes.” Chloe agreed. “Though you probably shouldn't sleep with Charlotte anymore either.”

“Yeah, there’s that.” Dan sighed heavily. “I really don’t want to become Lucifer’s Step-Dan.”