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“We realized the fair was closing in ten minutes, so we ran back to his booth!” Sarai exclaimed enthusiastically.
“And when we returned to the guy, he only had one left!” Harrow added.
“Talk about commitment!” said Lissa.
“Oh, it was totally worth it!” Sarai replied with a hint of pride.
Viren held an ornamented leather-bound journal with metal-cuffed corners.
“It is a lovely gift. Thank you,” he said, with a warm smile.
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon. The guests had already had dinner and they were all sitting in the living room around a glass-top coffee table. Harrow and Sarai were sitting next to Amaya and Janai, while Runaan and Ethari sat closer to Viren and Lissa.
“Alright, our turn!” Amaya signed, beaming. Janai interpreted on her behalf to the friends who didn’t know sign language, smiling sheepishly at Viren, while her wife sported a wide grin. The sharp contrast in their expressions made him a tad suspicious.
“Happy birthday, Viren,” Janai said and Amaya signed. They gave him a medium sized box wrapped in purple gift paper with a large golden ribbon bow attached at the top. Viren proceeded to carefully unwrap the paper.
“Come on, babe! Just rip it!” said Lissa.
“I want to do it carefully,” Viren replied, not taking his eyes off the box.
“But it’s more fun that way!” Harrow argued.
Runaan rolled his eyes, “Yes, and then you need to pick up tiny pieces of wrapping off of the carpet. So much fun.”
“Exactly!” Viren agreed. “Plus, for me, the process of careful unwrapping is a crucial part of receiving a gift.”
“Boooooriiiiiing!” said Sarai.
“Well, I’ll make sure to wrap your next gift in cling film. Good luck ripping that.”
The friends shared a laugh as Viren gently removed the paper from the box. Amaya was staring at him with intense enthusiasm, while Janai was looking increasingly more guilty by the minute. Something was up.
Viren hesitated before opening the box. He took a deep breath, tilted his head slightly backwards (in case something would pop out of the box) and carefully lifted the lid. Once he realised nothing had jumped or spurted out, he glanced inside and froze.
“No,” he said in disbelief.
“What is it?” Ethari asked.
“Come on, show us!” Harrow urged.
Viren lifted his glance from the box to Harrow and Sarai.
“It’s the wine glasses,” he said in deadpan.
“The wine glasses..?” Sarai repeated, in disbelief.
Viren nodded, while Janai covered her face with her hands.
“No. Way!” said Sarai, looking at her husband.
“Wait…” said Runaan. “You don’t mean..?”
“Yes!” Sarai replied, while Ethari chuckled.
“Oh, I remember those!” he said.
“The ugly dog wine glasses have made a return!” Amaya signed and Janai interpreted, eliciting a roar of laughter from everyone but Lissa. She had been shifting her eyes from person to person the entire conversation, clearly confused.
“Uh… Am I missing an inside joke here?”
Viren took out one of the glasses and handed it to her. It looked like a fairly regular wine glass, but it had an extremely unappealing illustration of a smiling cartoon dog on it, with bright yellow fur and a red tongue sticking out.
“Oh, wow. I did not expect to see that on a wine glass!” she said, laughing.
“It is so hideous…” said Runaan, his arms crossed in disapproval. “I can’t believe someone would ruin a set of perfectly good wine glasses like this.”
“I don’t know, I think it’s pretty funny,” Lissa replied, turning the glass slowly in her hand. “I like that it’s dorky. Gives it character.”
Viren raised his eyebrows, still smiling.
“You are a woman of taste, I see,” he said. “I, however, see them as a testament to the moral decline of humanity. Proof that we have failed as a society and are beyond redemption.”
“Oh, come on! What you’re describing is Neil Breen movies. The glasses aren’t that bad.”
“Maybe they come from the same plane of reality?” Amaya signed, eliciting a chuckle from her friends.
“I stand by this theory,” Viren replied, while his wife rolled her eyes.
She turned to the other friends.
“So what’s the story here? How do you all know about the glasses?”
“It was a wedding gift from Ahling,” said Sarai. “He loves this kind of cheesy stuff.”
“I think he’d called them cute?” Harrow added. “If I remember correctly. He was really excited about them.”
“I’m not surprised,” said Viren. “Have you been to his house?”
“I am not setting foot into that building if it has more of this stuff,” Runaan replied. “It was bad enough seeing that box every time I’d open the top cupboard in the kitchen.”
“I got used to it eventually,” Ethari added, giving Runaan’s hand a gentle squeeze.
“Wait, did Ahling also give you these?” Lissa asked, confused.
“No,” said Runaan with a sigh “Harrow and Sarai did.”
He threw them a look in mock offense.
“It was Harrow’s idea!” Sarai said defensively.
“Runaan’s birthday was coming and we completely forgot to buy him a gift,” Harrow said.
“A simple handshake would’ve made my day,” Runaan replied.
“Yeah, but it’s boring. I wanted it to be something fun!”
“I don’t think the people in this room share your idea of fun,” said Viren.
“I do!” signed Amaya.
“See? I’m not alone here. After the wedding we had put the glasses in the basement and I found the box while looking for my fishing gear. When I saw them, I immediately thought of Runaan--”
“I like how drawings of a disfigured dog made by a person who clearly wants to see the world burn remind you of Runaan, Harrow.” said Viren.
“--and decided to turn this into a gag gift!” Harrow continued.
“I’m surprised he is still talking to you after this," Viren said to Runaan.
“Oh, I contemplated removing him from all of my contact lists,” Runaan replied.
“Oh man, your face was priceless when you saw them!” Harrow laughed.
“I tried talking him out of it, but he was too excited about the prospect of this prank,” said Sarai, apologetically.
“So the most logical thing Runaan decided to do as a response was to give them to someone else,” Ethari laughed.
“We still kept them in our kitchen for months, though,” Runaan replied.
“And then they gave them to us as a housewarming gift,” said Janai.
“I don’t get it. I was there for all three of these events. How did I miss this?” Lissa asked in disbelief.
“I didn’t see them during Harrow and Sarai’s wedding either,” said Viren. “There were too many people, all with their own gifts.”
He paused to think.
“I can’t remember where you were when Runaan got them.”
“You came later, because you had to pick Soren up from Football practice,” Ethari said.
“And nobody showed them to me when I arrived?”
“Runaan shoved the box in the cupboard almost immediately after he’d received it and we decided not to bring it up.”
“Frankly, I completely forgot about them by the time you were there,” Viren added. “Amaya and Janai were telling us about their trip to France, so my mind just focused on that.”
“And the housewarming party at their place?” Lissa asked.
Janai thought for a moment.
“I don’t think you were there, actually.”
“Whaaaat? No way! I brought you a gift and all. The painting with the stormy sea?”
“You came a few days later with Soren and Claudia,” Amaya signed. “Sarai, Harrow and Khessa were there, too. We had a dinner party.”
“Right,” she paused for a second. “But Viren was there the first time?”
“He was,” Janai replied.
“Without me?”
“Wait, weren’t you visiting your parents that weekend?” Viren asked.
“Oh, it was that weekend? Yes, I remember that trip. Soren and Claudia were with me. I had a flat tire and it started raining while Soren and I were changing it. Good times.”
“So Runaan and Ethari give us this box, which we actually accept without opening,” said Janai. “I think I wanted to give you guys the tour of the house, first.”
“I noticed them behave weirdly,” Amaya added. “Runaan was pretending to act nonchalantly, and Ethari looked a bit embarrassed.”
“For all it’s worth, I had tried to talk him out of it,” said Ethari.
“I wanted to throw the wine glasses out, but you said it’d be a waste, so I found another way to get rid of them,” Runaan shrugged.
“I don’t think we would’ve opened that box in front of you guys if it weren’t for Amaya’s suspicion,” Janai said.
“The moment I saw those ugly dog faces I screamed,” laughed Sarai.
“I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes,” said Viren. “But it’s been two years since then. I completely forgot you had them.”
“We had forgotten as well, but one of our New Year’s resolutions was to finally clear out the attic,” said Janai.
“I honestly just wanted to see the look on your face when you saw them,” signed Amaya, smiling. “And you did not disappoint.”
Viren rolled his eyes.
“Let’s make this a tradition, then!” Harrow exclaimed. “Now it’s your turn to give it to someone else.”
“But probably someone who is not in our group?” Janai added. “We’ve all had them at this point.”
“I would love to see Annika and Neha’s reactions to them!” laughed Sarai.
“Yeah, give them to Annika and Neha,” Ethari seconded. “Or Lain and Tiadrin.”
“Tiadrin is not gonna like them,” said Runaan.
The friends laughed.
“Oh no, we’re keeping them,” Lissa said, suddenly. Everyone’s eyes turned to her.
“Honey, you can’t be serious,” Viren said, his face - a mixture of confusion and fear.
“Why? These are awesome!”
“They’re hideous!”
“Exactly!” her face was beaming. “Just think of the faces our guests are gonna make when we pull them out at dinner parties!”
“As long as your first guests are Lain and Tiadrin - it’s fine by me,” Runaan said.
Everyone laughs but Viren.