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Summary:

People need time to change. And that's fine! He's fine.
(so why is he talking to himself so much?)
Nothing's wrong.
(except for the bruises that aren't going away)
He's helping!
(so why does he still hurt?)

Notes:

hi im jaybird and i have no gotdang idea what im doing

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: I'm sure it's fine!

Summary:

He's finally back home after a long drive back from the skating rink.
(why does this feel wrong?)
(...because things are never good for long)
(he knows this won't last)

Notes:

(The chapters do eventually get longer, this was originally going to be a series of one-shots up until it Very Much Wasn't)

Chapter Text

Being Stevonnie was fun.

In fairness, being part of a fusion was almost always fun, Steven decided. Different kinds of fun, but still fun. Smokey Quartz was confident in the sort of way only people with terribly low self-esteem can be, that fake sort of ego, but still able to simply go with the flow. Rainbow 2.0 was details and little things and the magic of the mundane, jokes and laughter to cover old scars. Sunstone could see, could see the patterns of things, the sheet music of reality.

And Obsidian… Obsidian was power, agreement, unity. Obsidian was a volcano contained in a conversation.

But Stevonnie was simply fun. And damn did he need that.

It was pretty late now, or, depending on how you looked at it, pretty early. Steven and Connie had driven around for a while, not really doing anything, until they very suddenly realized it was very very late and they were very very lost. So, they got some fast food, listened to music, talked, sang, all of that. It was… comfortable.

But now it was almost four in the morning and Steven was about ready to pass out.

He shambled into the Temple house, giving Garnet a wave. She waved back but didn’t say anything, probably having already seen this timeline. He wondered if it was one of the good ones.

It felt a bit like his body was moving of its own accord, going through the motions as he got ready for bed. His brain was already asleep, he just needed to get into bed first. He took off his headband and ran a hand through his hair and-

Wait.

What was that.

Steven scrambled over to a mirror, feeling significantly more awake. Just barely in front of his hairline were two identical nubs, one above each eyebrow. He rubbed at them and felt bone underneath.

“What the hell,” he murmured to himself, not entirely trusting his exhausted senses to be telling the truth. They felt real, but…

Maybe this was some kind of Gem thing? He’d ask Pearl about it in the morning, and… no, if this wasn’t normal, she’d panic. She wouldn’t know what to do.

So he wouldn’t tell Pearl then. Someone else? Peridot would find it fascinating, and she might actually have some answers. Yeah. That sounded good.

After the nubs, finding the spots of dark pink on his sides didn’t even phase him.

It’s probably nothing, he reasoned, before putting on his pyjamas and hitting his bed like a log.

I’m fine.

(He never did remember to speak to Peridot.)