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His son was dead.
It was his fault.
He put him in there. His fault. Gohan looked up at him with scared, but trusting eyes and jumped straight into a fight with a creature that had no soul. All because his dad told him too.
“You’re very brave and loyal too. Not many sons are willing to die fighting their father’s battles”
And Gohan had fought so bravely. And he kept fighting, even as it became more and more clear that he wouldn’t win. Each punch and hit, bruising his skin, blood spurting from his mouth from a kick to the gut, eye swelling shut from a punch to the eye, knee out of a place from being thrown through a boulder.
But he kept trying.
And Goku just stood there, waiting for the moment that it would be enough and Gohan would unleash that hidden power within.
He was so sure that Gohan would be able to tap into it. When Gohan came bursting out of the side of the mountain he was so confident. Gohan had the anger in his eyes and that Saiyan energy in his blood. Gohan knew he had that hidden power. He knew it was there. He told Cell he didn’t want to fight, because he was afraid of his hidden power. And Goku grinned in pride as Cell beat and tormented his son to drive it out.
In pride.
He stood there and told everyone that once Gohan was backed into a corner, that he would unleash that furious hidden power.
“You’re wrong about your son. Gohan may have that power, but it doesn’t matter he doesn’t thirst for battle and mayhem. He’s not a fighter like you.
What was he thinking? And he had given Cell a sensu bean. Restored him to full power. Then sent his 11-year-old son who sang to birds, who befriend dragons and danced to music, who read advanced books for fun, to fight. Watched as Cell crushed the bones in his child’s body.
“Do you want to know what he’s thinking? He’s not thinking about strength or about competition he’s wondering why he’s father is standing there letting him die.”
And then Cell had created his Cell Jr.’s. And Gohan was forced to watch as his friends and family were tormented; unable to do anything. Watched as an android who liked to sing to birds too was killed right in front of him.
But Gohan did tap into that power and Goku felt justified. Felt vindicated. He knelt there with a smirk on his face, thinking to himself, see? See? See what he can do? as the sheer force of his uninhibited power filled the air. Power unlike anything they had ever witnessed. Power so strong you felt it like electricity in the air.
But Gohan couldn’t keep hold of his power. Just like when they trained in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, that power came and went like a supernova. And Gohan was left standing in front of Cell.
“He’s also a scared 11-year-old boy.”
Cell had laughed at him. Laughed at his brave child who did exactly what his dad asked of him.
And he killed him. In the blink of an eye Cell snapped Gohan’s neck. Goku stood helpless as his body collapsed like a rag doll.
“Don’t you even care? Goku if you don’t do something right now Gohan is going to die!”
His son was dead.
It was his fault.
Like salt rubbed into a wound, it wasn’t even Goku himself he took out Cell. Trunks, with memories of the past in his mind, at the sight of that little, broken body, transformed into something they had never seen before; had reached a level far above what they had thought possible. Had hit that same threshold Gohan could only briefly grasp; while Goku stood in pure shock, unable to do anything except look at his son’s body.
Trunks took out the Cell Jr.’s in a matter of seconds. Had handed the bag of Sensu Beans to Piccolo to pass out. In his focused fury, Trunks had killed Cell in a matter of minutes, seeking only swift and final revenge. There was nothing left of Cell’s body. Afterwards, Trunks collapsed next to Gohan’s body, and rested his hand on his torso. Goku couldn’t see, but he knew Trunks was crying.
Goku heard Piccolo stand up and walk beside him.
“Goku. Never cross my path again. This is your fault.”
And he flew down to the ground. He’d taken the time to go over to Gohan’s body and re-position him. Moved his broken, crooked little limbs until he looked peaceful. Had closed Gohan’s unseeing eyes carefully. He looked like he was sleeping. Not…
Not dead.
And left without a glance or word to anyone.
“I need to…I need to go and…” Goku stammered out. “I need to go and collect…”
Krillin looked at him. Goku couldn't read the expression on his face.
“I need to go and collect the Dragon Balls.” Goku finished. “We can wish him back.”
“Don’t you want to go down and see him first? Go warn Chi-Chi?” Krilled asked, carefully.
“I need to fix this. I need to fix this now. I’ve got…I’ve got to go now.” Goku answered desperately. “I can bring him back and it will be all right.”
Krillin stared at him for a moment before turning away, nodding. “Okay Goku, I’ll take care of his body.” Krillin flew down and walked over to Gohan. Goku watched him place a comforting hand on Trunks’ shoulder.
Goku nodded once, determined, and flew off.
His son was dead.
It’s his fault.
But he could fix it. He could bring him back. And Gohan would forgive him. His son was kind and good.
and loyal too.