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THE THIRD TIME —
The thought occurs to Jaehyun all at once and seemingly out of nowhere. But once it has taken root, there is no excavating it. Jaehyun could try and dig it out for hours and only end up with handfuls of soil. It settles, and it sticks, and then it consumes.
Johnny looks really good like this.
‘Like this’ is with his face buried between a girl's legs, hands splayed against her thighs to hold them open. Jaehyun thinks he remembers that her name is Sojung, but his brain is so soaked in alcohol it keeps slipping away from him. Oh — and watching Johnny lick into her cunt, that’s distracting too.
Especially with the way Johnny’s hair falls across his forehead, damp with sweat. Jaehyun’s got the same angle for this that Sojung (he repeats it in his head: Sojung, Sojung, Sojung, that’s her name) does. He’s been kissing her, sucking bruises into her neck, getting his hands all over her tits and ribs and waist, while Johnny goes down on her. So, they look at him from the same spot — above — and every so often Johnny’s eyes will flick up and he’ll look at Sojung, and then he’ll look at Jaehyun.
Jaehyun can see Johnny’s tongue lapping at her. Pink and wet and precise in its ministrations. He can see the veins in Johnny’s hands, pressing against the confines of his skin, a roadmap. And if he looks at just the right angle, he can see Johnny’s dick tenting his boxers, the only piece of clothing he’s still wearing. Jaehyun’s still wearing the jeans he wore to the club, the outline of his hard-on obvious in them.
Sojung makes these breathy little noises as Johnny licks into her. High ones that leave her chest heaving, low ones where she throws her head back against the pillows. Johnny gets better at this the more and more he does it. Sojung is clutching the sheets below them, top sheets thrown off in the mess of bodies that collapsed onto the bed. Jaehyun gently uncurls her fingers from where they are gripped — he sucks on her earlobe while he does, whispering the kind of dirty shit he knows from experience girls like.
Do you like that? Does it feel good? I bet he’s gonna make you come soon. I bet you taste good. I can’t wait to make him watch me fuck you.
Sojung’s hand now freed, pliant and boneless, Jaehyun takes it and slides it into Johnny’s hair. It pushes the bangs out of his eyes and Sojung’s grip immediately tightens into the wet strands of it. Johnny moans against her clit, then she moans in return.
Jaehyun considers pulling his hand away, now that Sojung has hers where Jaehyun knows Johnny likes it. Then he considers something else: he slides his own hand lower, to the hair at the base of Johnny’s neck. There’s less of it to grip thoroughly here, but Jaehyun manages. And then he pulls.
Johnny groans. It’s low and guttural, animalistic even. It comes from somewhere deep in Johnny’s chest, Jaehyun can tell.
When Sojung comes against Johnny’s mouth, she screws her eyes shut. Johnny looks up at them, anyway, and his eyes fix Jaehyun with a heated, unblinking gaze, tongue still moving against Sojung.
Jaehyun returns the look, with maybe the smallest lilt to his mouth, a hint of a smirk. Then he pulls on Johnny’s hair again. He asked nicely, after all, even if it wasn’t exactly with words.
A week later, Jaehyun finds Sojung’s underwear hiding underneath his bed.
“A token of affection, perhaps?” Johnny teases, eyebrows waggling.
“Shut up.” Jaehyun tosses them into his laundry basket. “Why don’t we ever fuck in your bed again? I’m definitely spending extra on laundry because I have to wash my sheets so often.”
“Dude,” Johnny looks incredulous. “Last time I checked, my twin bed’s not ideal for even two people, let alone three. Speaking of, I should send your mom a thank you note for buying you a queen.” Johnny does his best impression of someone reading out a letter in a period movie, “dear Mrs. Jung, thank you for buying your son a bed that we can fuck the same girl in. Why, just the other week —”
Jaehyun tackles him to his bedroom floor. Johnny laughs and wrestles him back, trying to finish reciting his letter the entire time.
(A few days later, Jaehyun emerges from his bedroom after Johnny’s left for class, and catches a glimpse of a note on the kitchen counter as he’s rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
For next time, it reads in Johnny’s hybrid of a somewhat neat, somewhat messy scrawl. Included with the note is the exact amount of change Jaehyun would need for a load of laundry.)
*
THE FOURTH TIME —
For next time ends up being with a girl Jaehyun knows from his International Law class. Her name is Sooyoung and she’s wearing this little pink peasant top and denim skirt, one that Jaehyun can easily slide his hand up the hem of and rest on the soft skin of Sooyoung’s upper thigh.
She acts faux-demure; bats her eyelashes and pretends to not notice how Jaehyun watches her mouth, pretends not to know that Jaehyun wants to kiss her. She’s playing a game just as much as Johnny and Jaehyun are.
Jaehyun takes her back to their apartment. It’s early, still, so they drink some more. Take a bottle of cheap whiskey out from under the sink and mix it with Diet Coke, get sloppy with the ratio of alcohol to chaser.
For all the ways Sooyoung projects coyness, she still makes it clear in certain ways what exactly she wants. She spreads herself out in both Johnny and Jaehyun’s laps, flirts with both of them, gives them both lingering touches that last a moment too long to be innocent, but aren’t quite explicit. Jaehyun had not mentioned Johnny at first — how maybe Johnny would be down to fuck her too — they would have talked it out eventually, but with her acting like this, Jaehyun suspects they might now have to. He suspects that if she didn’t know what he and Johnny wanted when she and Jaehyun — came here, she’d be determined to convince them of it anyway.
Jaehyun wonders how many times she might have done this before.
At some point, it is past midnight. Sooyoung is slumped against Jaehyun’s shoulder, his hand on her inner thigh where her skirt has ridden up. Her feet are in Johnny’s lap, toenails painted pale purple, and Johnny kneads his thumb into the jut of her ankle bone.
Sooyoung looks up at Jaehyun. “Is your roommate gonna stick around?”
Jaehyun looks at Sooyoung, watches her ask the question, and then looks up at Johnny. He’s already looking at the two of them.
“Yeah,” Jaehyun replies. “Yeah, he’ll probably stay.”
Sooyoung smiles. She says, “good,” and then she’s re-orienting herself until she’s straddling Jaehyun’s lap, his hands coming to settle on her hips. She kisses him, sticky with lip gloss and tasting like it too, waxy and artificially sweet. Jaehyun wastes no time getting his hands under Sooyoung’s shirt and scaling the long, postured line of her back. He expects to feel the clasp of her bra, only to find she isn’t wearing one. He digs his fingernails into her shoulder blades instead and she hisses against his mouth.
Johnny seemingly appears out of nowhere, having slinked along the couch to meet Sooyoung and Jaehyun where they are. His thigh presses flush against Jaehyun’s, noticeably warm even through the fabric of their pants.
Sooyoung pulls her mouth away from Jaehyun’s, nipping at his bottom lip as she goes. Her arms are circled around Jaehyun’s shoulders, criss-crossed where they meet at the base of his neck, and she leaves them like that when she leans over to kiss Johnny.
Jaehyun watches, drunk off all the whiskey and drunk off the heady air, the sensuality, the warmth and the debauchery.
Sooyoung slides her tongue into Johnny’s mouth — Jaehyun knows because he can see it, in the minute space between their mouths. Johnny lets out this little sigh, the way you do after you put something delicious into your mouth, and Sooyoung laughs against his mouth. Jaehyun rocks his hips upward against Sooyoung in his lap. He’s so fucking hard.
Eventually, Sooyoung detaches herself from Johnny. She turns back to Jaehyun, looking smug despite the flush that paints her from cheekbones to somewhere below the cut of her shirt. Jaehyun wants to find out how low it might go. He pulls Sooyoung’s shirt off of her head in one fluid motion. She’s bare underneath, but Jaehyun knew that, and she has her belly button pierced, which he didn’t.
Jaehyun gathers Sooyoung up in his arms and kisses her again. Her own hands come up to cup Jaehyun’s jaw and his roam as they please. He touches her tits, the dip of her back, the cradle of her hips. Her skirt is pushed so far up onto her hips now she may as well not be wearing it at all. But it’s hot that she is, hot the way Jaehyun can feel the heat of her against the thigh that’s come to be slotted between her legs. It’s hot when Johnny reaches between them — still kissing, wet noises mixed with the ruffle of clothes — and slides his hand right down the front of Sooyoung’s panties.
Sooyoung stutters a breath out against Johnny’s mouth. Jaehyun doesn’t know what he’s doing, can’t see it or feel it for himself, but there is the implication of it. He and Sooyoung are pressed so close together that Johnny’s hand keeps brushing against Jaehyun’s leg when he moves it. Every so often, Johnny drifts dangerously close to touching Jaehyun’s cock where it’s trapped behind the denim of his jeans, straining the fabric.
He wonders what Johnny is doing right now, his hand in Sooyoung’s panties. Does he have his fingers inside of her? Is he pressing against her clit?
He decides he’ll ask. Or, he says, “tell me what he’s doing to you,” which is not really a question.
Sooyoung doesn’t answer. She’s got her eyes closed and her bottom lip between her teeth, gasping every so often as she rocks against Johnny’s hand and, by consequence, Jaehyun’s thigh.
“I put my fingers in her,” Johnny is the one who says it. “I’m fucking her with my fingers but my thumb is on her clit.”
Sooyoung chokes off a yell, high-pitched and whiny. Jaehyun leans forward to suck bruises onto the swell of her chest, where her skin is soft and smells like spiced flowers. “How many fingers do you have in her?” Jaehyun asks, mouth still against the supple skin there.
“Two,” Johnny grunts. Jaehyun can feel, just so, or not really feel but understand the movement when it’s happening in such proximity to him, Johnny changing the angle, his wrist bent a new way. “I think maybe I can do three but she’s — she’s so tight.”
God, that’s so nasty. The way Johnny’s voice sounds, the words he’s saying, the heat of his hand trapped between the heat of both their bodies. It’s so hot. This is why they do this so often; because it’s nasty and it’s sexy and it’s good.
Jaehyun licks across one of Sooyoung’s nipples and she pitches forward, knocking herself off her balanced axis in Jaehyun’s lap. Maybe it was more calculated than that, though, because when she centres herself again she’s got her hand on Johnny’s dick through his pants. Jaehyun watches, out of the corner of his eye, as she kneads her fingers into the thickness of it. Jaehyun has seen Johnny’s dick enough at this point, enough to know how big it is, to know how much girls like it.
For a few moments, there is nothing but static electricity charging up between them, three sets of lungs breathing in tandem, three sets of vocal cords making noises that are all variations on the same theme.
Then, Jaehyun feels a hand high up on his thigh. Like, right the fuck near his dick. He pulls away from Sooyoung, who he had been kissing, and she wastes no time abandoning him to kiss Johnny instead. The hand on Jaehyun’s thigh — it’s too big, too strong. Jaehyun chances a look down, even though the only possible answer if it’s not Sooyoung is —
It’s Johnny. It’s Johnny’s hand on his thigh and Jaehyun would reiterate the right near his dick part, only that’s false now. Now Johnny’s hand is right there. Johnny’s hand is on Jaehyun’s dick, feeling Jaehyun up in a way similar to the way Sooyoung has her hands on Johnny, only not as practiced, much more crude.
This is — this is not something they ever do. The two of them are always there, together, but it’s never about that. It is always the girl, the sun at the centre of everything, and Johnny and Jaehyun in her orbit, on the axis but never meeting. Johnny does not touch Jaehyun and Jaehyun does not touch Johnny in return.
(Maybe Jaehyun has had a thought about it before. Maybe more than one. He’s seen Johnny’s body, knows it in ways he doesn’t, would never, know the bodies of his other friends. He’s seen every expanse of skin that Johnny normally keeps hidden under clothes. He’s seen the roll of his hips up into girls, heard the noises that come from him when he can’t help it, seen his face when he —
So, Jaehyun thinks he can’t be blamed. He can’t be blamed because he’s got all the puzzle pieces and he’s expected to not at least try and put this picture together?)
Jaehyun’s body operates of its own volition; his hips rock up against Johnny’s hand. Johnny presses against him harder, more insistent, and Jaehyun does it again. Jaehyun, usually verbal enough for both him and Johnny during these moments, is rendered silent. Something is tightening his throat. Only, no — he’s not quite silent. There are still the noises he makes because his veins are filled with battery acid, constantly firing off shocks inside of him. But he doesn’t know what to say. His hands fumble against Sooyoung’s skin, he doesn’t know what to do. He is lost, submerged into the feeling of Johnny’s hand stumbling against his dick.
In the end, it’s Johnny who takes Jaehyun’s dick out of his pants so he can fuck Sooyoung. He lays her back against Johnny on the couch, her smaller body framed by his, her back against his chest. They don’t even take off her skirt, just let it sit bunched at her hips while Jaehyun rolls his hips into her, slow and meticulous at first, and then faster and more careless.
When Jaehyun feels his orgasm cresting inside of him, the tell-tale tightening in his gut, he looks up and finds Johnny already watching him.
They’re still holding eye contact when Jaehyun comes.
Over brunch (eggs, bacon, toast with strawberry jam, huge cups of coffee, table covered in rumbled napkins and half-empty sugar packets) Taeyong says to Jaehyun, “so you guys, like, what, cuck each other?”
Yuta shakes his head and replies for Jaehyun, “Nah. Cuckolding is more one-sided. They’re both participating.”
“Regardless,” Taeyong waves his hand, affronted that Yuta has corrected him. “Sounds pretty fucking gay to me, dude, and I’m a homosexual.”
Yuta nods in agreement. “Especially the part where — you said he touched your dick? Has he ever done that before?”
Jaehyun shakes his head. His coffee tastes like hot tar and settles like sludge in his gut.
“Yeah, man. I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Straight people are so weird,” Taeyong says, mostly to himself, and half of his egg falls off his fork on the way to his mouth. It makes an ugly splat! noise when it crashes back onto his plate.
*
THE FIRST TIME —
During Johnny and Jaehyun’s second and third year of college, respectively, Johnny starts dating one of his TA’s. Her name is Joohyun.
She’s older than both of them and not so much bossy as much as not willing to put up with anyone’s bullshit. She shows up to Johnny and Jaehyun’s apartment for her and Johnny’s first date wearing her blouse buttoned all the way to the top and her nails painted poisoned-apple red. She looks exceptionally bored with everything Jaehyun says to her.
He gets why Johnny is into her. He does not, quite frankly, understand why she’s into him. Jaehyun tells him as much.
“Bro,” he says after Johnny’s back from his date, once immaculately coiffed hair now a bit of a mess. He’s sitting next to Jaehyun on the couch, watching him mop the floor with some loser in PUBG. “She’s so out of your league.”
“I know,” Johnny replies and his eyes look far away. Then he says, “she felt me up under the table at dinner,” kind of dreamily.
“Damn,” Jaehyun quirks an eyebrow, even though he’s not looking at Johnny. “That’s hot.”
“Yeah,” Johnny sighs.
In the end, Joohyun will break up with Johnny after six months. Two months before that, Johnny says to Jaehyun, “I can’t make my girlfriend come.”
Jaehyun chokes on a mouthful of cereal. “It’s eight in the morning,” he replies, gasping.
“Jaehyun, this situation is about to go postal. Like, disaster level. She is definitely going to break up with me. Code fucking red.”
“Dude, just, like,” Jaehyun chuckles under his breath. He can’t believe he’s talking about this before he’s finished his breakfast. “Just go down on her a bit after you finish?”
Johnny shakes his head. “Joohyun isn’t really into that.”
“Oh so you’re awful at it?”
“That’s not what I said!”
“You are so dense,” Jaehyun’s mouth is full of cereal. He swallows before continuing. “No girl is gonna tell you they’re not into their man eating pussy unless the dude is, like, awful at it.”
This gives Johnny pause. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
And when Jaehyun looks back on this he will never, ever quite understand how this conversation led to — well.
In the end, Joohyun doesn’t stick around. What does stick around (and Johnny and Jaehyun don’t know this is the part that will stick yet and they won’t figure it out until it happens another couple times) is this:
Jaehyun goes down on Joohyun, in Johnny’s room, on Johnny’s bed, with Johnny holding Jaehyun’s hair out of his face and watching. Studying technique, that is the pretense they have decided to do this under.
Joohyun had very few objections, according to Johnny, when he brought this up with her.
(What Jaehyun doesn’t know because he was not there, what he will probably never know, is that the conversation went something like this:
Joohyun had knit her eyebrows and crossed her arms. “Am I some kind of proxy for something here?” She had asked, tone accusing.
And Johnny will never tell Jaehyun this, so Jaehyun will never know it, but Johnny wasn’t really sure what she meant by that, so all he did was shrug.
It didn’t end up mattering. Joohyun agreed anyway.)
They end up sort of at Joohyun’s mercy; she knows what she wants and she is determined to get it. Johnny eats her out after Jaehyun and Jaehyun is — he’s meant to critique, you see, and he tries his best despite not really knowing what to say.
“Just like,” Jaehyun shrugs. He feels sort of awkward, just standing off to the side with his dick out. He gives it an experimental stroke, lazy and half-hearted. “Listen to her, man. I don’t know.”
From her spot on the bed, up on her elbow, Joohyun gives Jaehyun a look. A look that says that’s what I’ve been trying, and it hasn’t been working. Jaehyun shrugs again. Then. Then she gives Jaehyun another look, a different one, and this one, Jaehyun thinks, from the way she looks at Jaehyun’s dick in his hand, then back up at his face, then raises her eyebrows, this one means she wants him to keep jerking himself off.
Joohyun more or less directs them after that; she offers Johnny commands and responds with soft noises when he does good, whether on purpose or because it can’t be helped. She directs Jaehyun over, to the edge of the bed, and it’s too small for Jaehyun to get on with them but it doesn’t matter. Joohyun reaches to replace Jaehyun’s own hand with hers and his knees basically buckle. His mouth still tastes like her. Down between her legs, Johnny’s mouth must taste like her too.
Eventually, Johnny makes his girlfriend come. And then Johnny’s girlfriend makes Jaehyun come in return.
Joohyun is unceremonious when she makes her exit.
“This was fun,” she says, in a way that suggests that that is kind of a half-truth. Her hair is up in a ponytail now and Jaehyun swears her mascara was smudged, at one point, but she must have fixed it. She looks put together, despite the, well, whole thing. Yeah.
Jaehyun shifts awkwardly from foot to foot. “Yeah,” he replies, mumbled and mostly an afterthought. Joohyun always looks so thoroughly unimpressed by Jaehyun. It kind of gave him whiplash to have his dick in her hand.
Johnny kisses her before she leaves. He says, “I’ll walk you out,” and then she refuses, so he sort of deflates and says, “oh. Okay. I’ll call you.”
Joohyun hums in response, gone without a second thought.
They collapse onto the couch. Jaehyun’s wearing his boxers and a t-shirt and Johnny’s just in his underwear. Jaehyun is tired in a bone-deep way and he thinks he could fall asleep right here, on their shitty couch. They bought it because they wanted something big when they should have bought something, like, actually nice to sit on.
“Dude. That was crazy.”
Jaehyun, head resting on the back of the couch and staring at the ceiling, shifts to look at Johnny. He lets out a little laugh. “Yeah,” he replies, “fucking insane. It was good, though. Hot. Your girlfriend is really hot.”
Johnny swats Jaehyun’s chest. “Shut the fuck up,” he says, half-serious. “Don’t get a big head just because my girlfriend jerked you off.”
“Bro. She hates me. How can I not?”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Johnny shakes his head. “She’s just — particular. And she likes to get to know people first.”
“Whatever.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. A few moments pass, then he adds, “you think she’d be down for that again?”
Johnny shrugs, “maybe.”
After Johnny and Joohyun break-up, before they ever do that again, Johnny tells Jaehyun, “yeah, dude, she totally hated you.”
“I fucking knew it,” Jaehyun pumps his fist in the air in validation.
*
THE SECOND TIME —
The agreement was tentative (until it wasn’t) and they didn’t really iron out many details.
“We could do that again, with someone else,” Johnny says to Jaehyun, the week after Joohyun breaks up with him. “If you’re down for it.”
Jaehyun shrugs. “Could be fun.”
“We just have to, y’know, make sure it’s about the girl. Since it’s not with someone one of us is dating, y’know? If it’s gonna be us and them — it’s gotta be about them.”
Jaehyun had agreed. Now he wonders why.
But before he started to wonder that, there was this:
Johnny buys this girl a drink when they’re at the bar. She introduces herself to Jaehyun as Jisoo, then invites them to the table she has with her friends.
It’s pretty obvious one of her friends is kind of into Jaehyun. She keeps laughing at everything he says, over-exaggeratedly, and falling against him as an excuse to get into his space. Jaehyun would go for it, he really would, if he and Johnny hadn’t agreed that tonight they would try and — do that, again.
Jisoo is pretty, like a fairy, with her pointed features that are still somehow soft. She looks pretty when she’s smiling at Johnny and she looks pretty, still, when Johnny tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and lets his fingers linger on the shell of it, coaxing her gently to press her mouth against his.
Later, she looks good sitting in Johnny’s lap, arms wrapped around his shoulders as he rolls his hips up into her, holding her at the waist. Jaehyun sits behind her on the bed, mouth all wet and hot against her neck, and when she’s about to come he reaches around and fumbles his fingers against her clit — it’s hard to be precise when she’s so wet — and takes her over the edge. It’s so hot, and it’s even hotter when Jaehyun’s fingers slip, and he can feel exactly where Jisoo is stretched around Johnny’s cock.
Johnny orders Jisoo the Uber, so Jaehyun is the one who walks her out.
(They had invited her to stay. A courtesy, most likely, because Jaehyun is unsure how good his bed would function should three people actually intend to sleep in it. Jisoo had declined anyway, with a demure smile and a shake of her head. She had work in the morning, she said.
Jaehyun does not dwell on the odd feeling he got in his gut, or the sweat on his palms, when he thought — for a moment — he and Johnny might spend the night in the same bed.)
“So, are you guys,” she asks Jaehyun when they’re alone, tugging on her bottom lip with her teeth. “Are you and him, like — together?”
“What?” Jaehyun is taken aback. “No,” he insists, “no we’re not . . . together.”
The word feels weird in his mouth, used to describe him and Johnny. Even when it comes tacked onto the precursor of not.
“Oh,” Jisoo responds lamely. Then, she shrugs, says, “okay. I guess.”
*
THE FIFTH TIME —
Her name is Jennie. She reminds Jaehyun of Joohyun, only where Joohyun was simply disinterested, Jennie seems to practice active disdain. She has sharp eyes, despite her softer features, and sharp acrylic nails. She looks like she would laugh in Jaehyun’s face if he said the wrong thing and honestly? He’s kind of into it. He’s kind of really into it.
Jaehyun had danced with her at the club, playful, at first, and then a little more heated when she pressed her back to his front and focused her movements into her hips. He had breathed against her ear, “that’s my roommate over there,” and pointed out Johnny. She hadn’t replied but her eyes followed Jaehyun’s finger. “You wanna come home with us?”
Jennie had been silent for a few beats. Jaehyun waited, his hands on her hips, his mouth at her ear. Then she hummed in agreement and turned in Jaehyun’s arms so she could kiss him.
Jennie is vocal about what she wants — that’s another way she’s like Joohyun. Only the tone is all different; Jennie offers commands. She asks nothing of Johnny or Jaehyun, she simply tells them. There’s no way she doesn’t know how hot she is. Jaehyun can’t blame her.
“Take off your clothes,” she says, while she’s still fully-clothed. “Kiss me,” she says, sliding into Johnny’s lap. “Come here,” she says, grabbing Jaehyun by his wrist and pulling him forward. “You guys have done this before, right?”
Jaehyun nods.
“I think the two of you should kiss. Have you done that before?” Johnny’s the one who shakes his head. His eyes are kind of wide. Jennie smirks, the quirk to the corner of her mouth matching the quirk of her eyebrow. “Well, first time for everything, right?”
Johnny looks at Jaehyun. His eyes are still kind of wide, kind of nervous, but there’s a question in them as well, a what if. Jaehyun, intoxicated on being told what to do, on what’s already happened tonight, on what’s going on, decides not to hesitate. Decides not to think about it too much. He surges forward, hand circled around the back of Johnny’s neck, and kisses him.
It’s different from kissing a girl. Of course it is. Johnny has stubble that scratches against Jaehyun’s skin. He has a heavier and sharper jaw and his face — just, bigger, honestly, in Jaehyun’s hands than a girl’s ever would. He smells like sweat and musk and he tastes, god, he tastes like something Jaehyun can’t quite grasp. Smoky, maybe, heady and spiced. Maybe it’s the alcohol from the club. Maybe Jaehyun’s imagining it. He slides his tongue into Johnny’s mouth to get a better taste and, still, he’s not sure what it could be.
When they pull away from each other, Jennie is smiling. “That was really hot,” she says. “Now, which one of you is gonna eat me out?”
The most embarrassing thing about this whole thing is not, in fact, that Johnny’s fingers end up in Jaehyun’s ass. No, it’s how good it feels and the noises it pulls out of Jaehyun, that’s what’s embarrassing.
It’s not quite right. They don’t have lube (Jaehyun thinks maybe they should, even for girls, girls need that shit sometimes, too, right?) so they’re just using spit. Jaehyun has his face between Jennie’s leg, her hands in his hair and, fuck, it’s also kind of embarrasing the way he’s got his ass up in the air, Johnny behind with with two fingers inside of him.
He’s trying his best to focus on Jennie but it’s hard. Johnny keeps digging these groans from deep inside of Jaehyun, crooking his fingers. Jennie doesn’t seem to mind regardless. Jaehyun doesn’t understand how Johnny is good at this. It’s gotta be different from fingering a girl, right? Or maybe Jaehyun is just so, like, inexperienced with things in his ass he doesn’t know the difference from good or bad.
It’s fucking unreal when Jaehyun comes, caught between Jennie and Johnny’s bodies. His vision goes starry and he feels white-hot all throughout his muscles. Jennie pets his hair and chuckles under her breath.
“Hey, Jaehyun?” She coos. Jaehyun looks up at her, mouth still wet and glistening, vision still kind of fuzzy. “I think you should suck Johnny off,” Jennie coaxes, “I think it would be really hot if you did.”
And, god damn, how could Jaehyun ever say no to that? How could Johnny?
Jaehyun has never sucked dick before. He likes to think he’s pretty good at eating pussy (maybe that time with Joohyun, Johnny asking him for help, watching him go down on his girlfriend and then going down on his girlfriend in return, making her come for the first time, maybe that kind of gave Jaehyun an ego) but he doesn’t think that necessarily translates. So, Johnny stands at the foot of the bed, and Jaehyun kneels before him, and Jaehyun takes Johnny’s cock into his mouth and tries to remember all the things he likes being done to him.
It’s hard to focus. Jaehyun knows Johnny has a big dick but it’s a very different experience to just see it versus actually putting it in your mouth. Jaehyun has a newfound respect for any girl who’s ever given Johnny head.
Out of the corner of his eye, spit dribbling out of his mouth and throat spasming as soon as Johnny’s gets too close to the back of it, Jaehyun can see Jennie watching. Her hand is between her legs, rubbing at herself lazily. Jaehyun wonders if she’ll make him suck Johnny’s dick until she comes, or Johnny does. Or both.
(It’s both. Jennie shuffles over on her knees and brings Johnny’s fingers inside of her, hand circled around his wrist, to finish her off. Jaehyun manages to get Johnny all the way to the back of his throat, and then gags, and he knows Johnny is about to come by the noise he makes. He can’t swallow that shit, he knows he can’t, so he pulls off and gets Johnny’s come all over his face. Across the bridge of his nose, his cheeks, dangerously close to his eye, and across his cupid’s bow and the poutiest part of his bottom lip.
Jennie leans down and kisses him, licks him clean of Johnny’s mess. He can’t believe this is happening. That he’s trading spit and come back and forth with Jennie while he kisses her.
Above them, Jaehyun knows Johnny is watching.
“Fuck,” he hears him say, low and breathless.)
Jennie still looks smug when she leaves. Jaehyun and Johnny both walk her downstairs this time.
“Y’know,” she says, tilting her head. Her leather jacket is slung over her arm rather than her shoulders. She was wearing red lipstick when they left the club and now it’s all gone. Jaehyun wonders if it’s all over his mouth, or Johnny’s, or both. “A lot of guys won’t do that kind of stuff with each other.”
Johnny and Jaehyun very pointedly do not look at each other.
“So if you ever need another third,” Jennie continues. “You can call me.”
*
THE FIRST TIME (AGAIN) —
This all comes to a head on the most unassuming day of the week: a Wednesday, mid-afternoon, when it’s raining. Jaehyun is still in his pajamas and he just finished a fucking grilled cheese. That’s how mundane this all is.
Johnny’s the one who brings it up.
“Hey, you wanna,” he bites his lip. They’re in the living room, sharing the couch. Sometimes, when Jaehyun sits on it by himself, he thinks about Johnny’s hand on his dick. “You wanna go out and find someone tonight? Cheap night at the club.”
Jaehyun grimaces, scratching at his belly in a way that rucks up his shirt. “I don’t know, bro,” he rationalizes, “I’m kind of beat. Also, I’m broke. We go out too much.”
Johnny offers a small laugh at that. Moments pass and Jaehyun is on edge as they do. He can tell Johnny wants to say something else. Can feel it in the air, in the space between their bodies on the couch.
“We could,” Johnny bites his lip. “We could — just, like — just you and me? Y’know. Like, what we did with Jennie. But. Without Jennie there, obviously.”
“If you wanted me to suck your dick you could have just asked.”
“That’s not —” Johnny cuts himself off. “Y’know what? Whatever. Sure. Do you wanna suck my dick?”
Jaehyun does not reply and he does not need to be asked twice. Before Johnny can even finish what he’s saying, Jaehyun is sliding across the couch, undoing the button on Johnny’s jeans, and getting to work.
They’re in Jaehyun’s bed, naked, breathing hard. Sticky and sweaty, flushed red, spent.
“Hey, remember when we said it had to be about the girls?” Jaehyun says, eyes fixed on his bedroom's tacky popcorn ceiling. He can feel Johnny shift on the bed beside him.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, well,” Jaehyun licks his lips, swallows. “I don’t want it to be about the girls anymore. I think it could be about us. Or, all of us. But also sometimes it could be like this, like, without any girls. Maybe? There can still be girls sometimes. I like girls. And also dudes, probably, or maybe you’re the outlier here.”
“You’re rambling.”
“Sorry.”
Jaehyun chances a look at Johnny. He’s laying on his side, head pillowed on folded hands. He looks soft, thoroughly kissed and debauched. Jaehyun can’t believe he looks like that because of him — that he was kissing Jaehyun, that Jaehyun was the one who put the freshly blooming hickey on Johnny’s pectoral, a ring of bruises around the little red lines of skin broken under teeth.
“If you wanted to go steady, Jaehyun, you could have just asked me.”
Jaehyun levels Johnny with a hard punch in the shoulder. Then he rolls on top of him, and they wrestle, and then they kiss and that’s — that’s really nice.
(They’ve been dating for seven months when they see Joohyun while they’re out on a date. There’s a girl sat across from her and Joohyun’s nails are painted the same colour Jaehyun remembers them being.
The only time Jaehyun has seen Joohyun actively interested in anything to do with him is when she takes in Johnny’s hand on him, curled around Jaehyun’s hip, obvious and possessive.
She raises her eyebrows at him. He turns bright red.)