Chapter Text
==> Be the boy
Your name ESCAPES YOU AT THE MOMENT. You aren't certain how OLD YOU ARE, your interests AREN'T CLEAR, and you have NO IDEA WHERE YOU ARE.
==> Look around.
You appear to be in a WIDE OPEN SPACE, filled with a number of PEOPLE. Even though it is DAYTIME, you see a few TROLLS wandering among the crowds. You are not certain how you know what TROLLS are, or, for that matter, what PEOPLE are, when you DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN NAME.
The space is a large, grassy rectangle stretched over SEVERAL CITY BLOCKS. At one end, you see a VERY TALL TOWER, and at the other, you see a DOMED BUILDING. There is a CAROUSEL nearby.
The people around you appear to be giving you a wide berth, placing you in the CENTER OF AN OPEN CIRCLE.
==> Quickly retrieve arms from safe.
Luckily, your arms appear to be ATTACHED TO YOUR TORSO. In one of your hands is a small device that is making an insistent ringing sound.
==> Answer phone.
--SHOW SELEÇÃOLOG--
No. XV began communicating with No. XX
XV: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU EGBERT YOU BETTER NOT BE DEAD.
XX: ...
XV: OH GOG, YOU'RE DEAD AND FUCKING LALONDE IS GOING TO TRY TO EXPLAIN HOW MY RAGE IS DUE TO UNEXPLORED SEXUAL TENSION AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CRUSH HER WINDTUBE JUST TO SHUT HER UP.
XX: um, do i know you?
XV: THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR WRIGGLER HEAD GAMES, EGBERT. WE HAVE AN ACTUAL CLUSTERFUCK HERE. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
XX: i guess i don't know. there's a big white tower, and a white building with a dome on it. and a carousel! seems to be a pretty popular place.
XV: I SWEAR TO GOG, EGBERT, IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS HORSESHIT IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND SHOVE YOUR BULGE SO FAR UP YOUR NOOK YOU CAN'T BREATHE RIGHT.
XX: ...
XV: AND JUST TO BE CLEAR, THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU, IN YOUR CONTINUING DEMONSTRATION OF CULTURAL INSENSITIVITY, CALL 'HATELUST'. THIS IS INTENSE FRUSTRATION IN THE FACE OF YOUR MONUMENTAL STUPIDITY.
XX: good?
XV: FUCK, I CANNOT HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW.
No. XV has ceased communicating with No. XX
==> Put phone in pocket.
You cannot put your phone in your pocket, as you are not wearing any pants!
==> Put phone in purse.
You are certain you are not carrying a purse, and never have.
==> Ask passerby for purse.
This seems to be a monumentally bad idea. Nevertheless, you try gesturing at a passerby with your free hand. She refuses to meet your eyes and hurries away.
This is beginning to get quite frustrating. You think you might need to ask someone for help.
Examining your phone, you find that in addition to a normal keypad, it has twenty other buttons, labeled 0, I, II, III, IV, V, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, and XX.
You doubt you will receive much help from XV.
==> Put on some fucking clothes.You would, but you don't have any clothes with you!
==> Steal a pair of pants.
You don't think you're supposed to steal from people, but you do muster up all the PULCHRITUDE you can manage and call out to a harried, middle-aged woman carrying a large plastic bag.
"Um, excuse me? Ma'am? Can you help me?"
She pauses, looking around before her eyes settle on your chest; she seems both unwilling to meet your eyes and unable to look LOWER THAN YOUR CHEST. The crowd, still giving you a wide berth, moves on around you.
"Thanks. I was wondering if I could borrow a pair of pants or something?" you ask uncertainly. "I hit my head or something, and I'm not quite sure what happened. And I just want to see my Dad again-"
You pause as your CHEST is struck by a SHARP ACHE. A TEAR unaccountably leaks down your face.
The woman, who looks ready to move past you with a bad excuse, pauses, and then digs into her shopping bag.
"Oh, don't worry, dear," she says. "My boy's about your size, and I know how these things go. Hazing, and whatnot."
You nod along, hoping that this will stop her from asking any question you don't know the answer to. You gratefully take the JEANS and GHOSTBUSTERS T-SHIRT the woman lends you. As you do so, a rising siren starts in the distance. The woman gives you a sly look.
"It was only a matter of time before someone called the cops," she said. "You might want to scarper. Run away," she clarifies. "I'm sure your Dad won't want to be bothered by something like a little college prank."
You nod, even though the thought of your FATHER makes you want to START CRYING AGAIN.
==> Abscond!
You duck away from the crowd; luckily, most of the people seem content to ignore you once you have pants on. Just to be safe, you hurry a few blocks away from the wide lawn, ducking into an alley. You check your phone again, in the hopes that someone has sent you a HELPFUL MESSAGE.
The phone has NO MESSAGES, but an odd thought occurs to you. When XV pestered you, your messages had "XX" in front of them. So what would happen if you pushed the "XX" button?
==> Dial 'XX' in the hope it will cause a rip in spacetime.
No. XX made a request of Nannasprite
Nannasprite: I've been looking forward to hearing from you again, No. XX!
XX: um, do you have any idea who i am?
Nannasprite: Hoo hoo! What a scamp! Of course I do! I even know why you ended up in the middle of the Mall without any pants on.
XX: really? why?
Nannasprite: Hoo hoo!
Nannasprite: That would ruin the fun!
XX: while i'm all for totally awesome pranks and all, i'm a little confused by all of this. some girl named XV was talking to me earlier, and i think she has a crush on me!
Nannasprite: Hoo hoo!
XX: um, i'd really appreciate it if you'd stop the cackling and help me out. i'm already a little freaked out, to tell the truth.
Nannasprite: Oh, of course. Noblesse oblige. I hope you continue to entertain me as one of the world's saviors.
XX: what?
Nannasprite has completed XX's request!
hideout.jpg
Nannasprite appears to have left you a map, with a building about 10 blocks away starred and noted ‘Home’.
There seem to be a number of more sirens, close by now.
And if that isn’t enough, your phone is beeping at you.
==>