Work Text:
The TARDIS was wheezing painfully trying to fend off the turbulences they currently had to go through. Trying not lose his footing, the Doctor ran around the console flicking various switches, pressed buttons and pulled levers, trying to halt her to a stop.
With a terribly high force the TARDIS stopped still, throwing her driver to the floor on accident.
“What was that about?!”, he complained loudly in a huff, standing back up.
Softening his voice he asked in a calmer tone: “Is there something you want me to know?” which received a positive and warm hum. Looking around briefly to check that everything was alright he noticed a book on the floor. It was simplistic really, with a red leather cover. Confused he picked it up to examine the object further, on the front it read in golden, fancy letters 'Photographs'.
Oh.
~*~*~*~
“Donna what are you doing there? I told you! NO pictures!”, the Doctor said, trying to escape from the flashing lights coming off a simple 21st century camera, which his red-headed companion Donna currently wielded as her 'weapon'.
“Oh C'mon! A few pictures won't do any harm, you know?”, she replied slightly annoyed, chasing him around the console.
Her behaviour puzzled the Doctor. Normally she wouldn't do that. Why would she want pictures of HIM, after all he was just a 'thin alien streak of nothing'. Frowning the timelord stopped to a halt and turned around, facing his companion, who wasn't able to stop quickly enough and bumped right into him, exclaiming a loud “OI.” to express her disliking to his sudden change of action.
With a swift movement he took the digital camera from her and skimmed through the pictures, taking a quick look at all of them. Most were blurred and taken whilst chasing him, others seemed to have been taken when he hadn't paid attention to her, instead blabbering on and on about some technology. Several photographs actually looked good and had a high artistic value, he thought.
Donna, noticing his curiosity in studying all the pictures felt her face flush in embarrassment. What would he think of her now that he knew she secretly took images of him?
Growling angrily she tried to snatch the device out of his hands. To be fair it started as fairly innocent hobby, taking pictures of all the planets and places she's seen to show them to her Gramps later, though soon enough she found herself photographing the Doctor during his careless moments, thinking he looked rather charming then.
Shrugging off the sudden feeling of warmth in her belly, she grabbed for the camera again.
“Would you PLEASE give it back to me now?”, she asked, clearly annoyed.
Grinning like an idiot he turned to look directly at her face with currently was crunched in a scorn, ginger locks framing her face beautifully. Who knew his Donna had such a great hobby? He most certainly hadn't expected this from her, making him even happier to find out about it.
With a smirk the Doctor replied: "Only if you tell me the reason! And don't start with stuff like 'I simply like it' or 'It's fun' because we both very well know that this is not the TRUE reason, is it?" After all this time travelling together he knew his companion well enough to spot when something had a deeper meaning. He could see it in her eyes.
Huffing Donna crossed her arms in front of her chest. Well, there went her excuses to get out of this one. She tried her best to look annoyed with him, acting as though she hasn't heard his reply, staring at him. She suddenly felt awkward simply standing there in the control room with that silence in between them.
Sensing her uneasiness the Doctor relaxed and looked at her with a soft expression. "If you want to we can go to the library and talk there, whilst we print out the pictures, alright?", he proposed, hoping it would put her in a better mood.
He knew he had succeeded when his companion's lips curved into a small smile.
"Only if you make me a nice cup of tea!", she said, already wandering off into the direction of the Library. Maybe it would be better to tell him about it, she thought.
~*~*~*~
The Doctor wished he had known back then. Sighing sadly he took the photo album and made his way to his bedroom. What did the TARDIS want to tell him by showing this to him?
Surely it had to be important. After all it's been years for him already, trying to find a cure for her, searching galaxies far and wide in order to find something, ANYTHING, that would get her back to travelling together with him.
He sat down on his bed. He hadn't been in this room for ages. Admittedly he slept in Donna's room. If he slept that is. Though, for this, the Doctor didn't want to be surrounded by everything... her. It would've been too much for him. This was worse for him than his goodbye to Rose. At least Rose was all fine and dandy, now had her own Doctor who would live a human life with her and she still had all these memories, maybe even could resume travelling the stars with his duplicate. Martha, fantastic Martha left on her own accord, for the safety of her family. He could understand why she did it and he didn't blame her. Martha had done him good, she was the second step of recovery for him and if she needed him she'd call him. And then, then there was Donna, the woman who suddenly appeared in the middle of the TARDIS. In her wedding dress! The woman who told him to find someone and who lead him to take Martha with him. Donna was his first step to recovery, telling him what to do when no one else could. And then they even found each other again, in the whole wide universe and time, they found eachother again. This ginger woman was all he had ever needed. A friend, a mate, someone who'd keep him on the ground, someone who'd stop him and someone who'd love him and whom he could love back.
His eyes where filled with sadness and he could feel his hearts clench in pain.
Taking a deep breath he opened the first page.
~*~*~*~
Already waiting in the library Donna looked around, thinking of a way to tell him her true reasons. She knew she couldn't tell him about the bit that she chose him as 'model' because he actually was quite good looking. No, if she were to admit that to him he would never let her hear the end of it. She also had to make sure she didn't mention anything about how much she adored the look on his face when he rambled on and on about worlds and technologies and all these things that made him look like a happy puppy. No, there was no way in hell she'd tell him that.
Groaning she murmured: “Get a grip Donna. You are not a lovestruck teenager! You are a grown up woman with a slight crush on an alien. Nothing bad about that.” She let her head fall into her hands as she basically 'gave up'. “Yeah, everything's bad about this. Not like he will ever find out but...”
“Find out about what?”, the Doctor asked, his voice startling her. As a result the ginger lady almost jumped, looking at him with a shocked expression.
“Didn't you know that you don't just sneak up on people!?”, she yelled. “Don't you know ANYTHING. I could have had a heart attack!”
“Oh come on, don't be so dramatic. People don't have heart attacks because of THAT.” Carefully he placed down a tray with two cups of tea in front of them, on a small, round table.
She let out a low groan before sighing and murmuring a short 'sorry'. She hadn't meant to leash out like that but she just couldn't help it.
After sitting down on the sofa right next to his ginger he looked at her, taking in her expression for a moment. She looked distressed and tired. Has she had troubles sleeping?, he wondered, making a mental note to ask his ship about it later.
“Are you okay?” The Doctor's voice was gentle and filled with worry. As Donna looked up to meet his gaze to reply, she saw how his eyes were filled with concern and something else. She couldn't quite place what it was.
“Yeah. I'm alright, let's get this over with, shall we?” Carefully, she took one of the mugs and brought it to her lips, taking a small sip. “So, what do you want to know?”
The Doctor thought for a moment.
“Okay, let me start with one question!”, he exclaimed. Donna waited patiently.
“Right, so, Why do you take these photos? When did you even start with it? Why are you never in them, because, they are all me. Well, most of them are anyway. And most importantly, why are there so many?”
“You know that was more than one question, right?”, she let out a small giggle. It was cute to see him so excited about something. At least she knew it was genuine interest and he really was dying to know the answers, so she took a deep breath and started:
“Well, so...”
~*~*~*~
The first picture the Doctor was greeted with was one of their travels. Back when they first met the Ood, quite at the beginning of their adventures. It was a lovely image of the wide and snowy landscape of the Ood-sphere.
Underneath he could read a comment, written by Donna.
This place definitely was cold! But so pretty! I'm just happy the Ood can live in peace, now that we stopped that evil bloke and his brain-torturing-machine. I will never forget the song I heard them sing. It was full of emotion, fitting with the landscape. They even said the Doctor and I got our song!
Several pages where filled with pictures of their travels, often with a small comment by Donna written underneath it. The Doctor knew this album was first meant to be given to her grandfather as gift.
A bit further he found a few blank pages until one had a new title written on it.
'The Doctor'.
He was pretty sure what photos this one would include and he was not disappointed when he found several photos he had seen on Donna's camera back then.
One of them showed him, lying underneath the console, trying to fix a leak. He had to admit it was one of the most natural pictures of him. He then noticed another comment written by his former companion.
This is the Doctor! He can be such a typical bloke sometimes. Human men would work and tinker on his cars, he had his TARDIS, his amazing ship who would fly us to all these wonderful places. He looks so content and happy when he tries to fix her and I'm sure the TARDIS also enjoys the attention, judging by her pleased hum. Seeing him do the things he loves makes me happy and it's something I love about him. (Thank god he will never read this.)
He chuckled, it was obvious she wrote that before she knew of his feeleings so, there it was, this word. Love. He felt the pang in his hearts. She had loved him just as much as he loved, no still loves, her. God, he was such a fool for not protecting her enough!
Swallowing hard he continued at reading and viewing the photographs, searching for the next section.
~*~*~*~
Patiently the Doctor waited for Donna to resume her explanation, giving her a reassuring smile when she looked slightly lost at him, the timelord hoped it would help her.
With a thankful nod the human took another breath and began anew.
“Well, so, I started taking pictures a while back, after we escaped Pompeii. I felt bad for leaving my Gramps behind and knowing how happy he'd be with souvenirs I decided to take photos for him. To put them all into an album to show to him every time we go back and visit them.”, she admitted a bit shy.
Of course. It made sense to him, so he just nodded and waited for the next bit of her explanation, curiosity clearly apparent in his brown eyes.
Nervously she licked her lips before continuing a bit more hesitatingly: “It's only you in these pictures because, let's be honest, I'm not very photogenic.” She made a face of distaste at the thought of her in photos. “And well, you.... are. And don't think anything! That doesn't mean anything, understood!?”
A grin spread over his face. So, she thought he was good looking? Taking a look at her, the Doctor was certain that Donna wasn't lying about this, with her eyes cast downwards and her cheeks reddened.
“I know.” was his calm reply and the redhead was fairly certain he was over-thinking the simple compliment.
His expression then changed into something more stern when he pressed on: “Still, this isn't the reason is it?”. He leant forward, almost invading her personal space to read her expression. Something had changed about it, her eyes looked sadder than before. “You can tell me, you know?”
“I know.” came her quick, but still somewhat hesitant reply.
“Do you not trust me?” His voice was now filled with hurt at the thought of his best mate not trusting him enough to tell him what was wrong. He might have been an alien but he still knew how to deal human emotions and afterall, he was more human than most might expect.
Donna's head shot up and the Doctor could swear he saw a glimmer of 'insult' in her eyes. “Of course I trust you! You can be so daft at times! Just because I don't know how to word something, or take my time doesn't mean I don't trust you!” she cried out in desperation before more softly continuing: “I trust you with my life, you know?” To emphasise her point she looked directly into those brown eyes. For a split second she had the urge to kiss him, but was able to resist it.
His eyes lit up in child-like happiness. Obviously he was pleased with what she had just admitted to him.
Before Donna knew it she found herself in a tight and warm hug, one of those special hugs only the Doctor could give. She felt herself melt in the embrace, happiness flooding her with warmth when suddenly all these fears emerged and she felt the cold sweeping through her, so she quickly wrapped her arms around the skinny man in front of her, clinging to him for dear life, trying to keep the tears in. No. She had to be strong for the Doctor. She could let him see her this vulnerable and weak. Biting her tongue the ginger untangled herself from the embrace and looked straight at the unlit fireplace in front of them, before standing up and flicking a switch to light it.
As comfortable warmth filled the room she sat back down, closing her eyes for a moment.
The Doctor watched her curiously. One second he found her clinging to him, the next she pushed him away. It confused him, so he just tried to figure her out, though he could sense something was on her mind and knowing her it'd be better not to push it, so he just let her collect her thoughts.
In the warm, orange glow of the fire, Donna looked younger with her face almost relaxed and her ginger locks shimmering like fire. She was truly beautiful he thought.
Her eyes cracked open and she spoke in a calm, but sad whisper: “You know Doctor. We've been travelling for a bit already and... it's wonderful, beautiful but also so very scary.” She didn't dare to face his expression because she knew how heartbroken it would look this very second. She knew it sounded like she wanted to leave. “And don't get me wrong. I won't leave anytime soon. No, you won't get rid of me so easily, but …” She swallowed nervously, trying to suppress her fear.
“... but one day something will happen to you or me or the both of us and you'll be forced to dump me back at home. I just... don't want to forget any of our adventures.” Donna almost choked on her words as her fears and worries threatened to escape in tears.
The Doctor noticed immediately, it was uncharacteristic for her to behave like this, but he knew that a human could only handle this much, could only be strong enough for that much before succumbing to their fears.
He simply nodded and waited for her to continue.
“You see, even if I'm forced to go back home for whatever reason, I will always want to remember how we saved the Ood or how we ran together from all sorts of monsters. I wouldn't want to forget you or your face, the way you look when you excitedly talk about some weird creature or when you tinker on the TARDIS. I just never want to forget all this, the time I felt complete and like I belonged.”
Her voice broke in a choking sound and tears spilled over, running down her freckled cheeks. The timelord reacted quickly, turning to face her, laying his hands on her cheeks, wiping away the tears whilst forcing her to look at him.
For a moment they both simply stared at eachother.
“Donna Noble, oh brilliant Donna. You promised me forever, didn't you?” The redhead nodded. “I promised you forever and I won't break this promise anytime soon, and with that I mean I won't break it ever. Do you understand that?”
~*~*~*~
The Doctor remembered the promise he had made her. If he had known back then how wrong he had been. He promised her forever and her only wish was to never forget.
Yet, he had taken both from her.
He had returned her to her dull life with no memory of him whatsoever.
The thought broke his hearts once more whilst he had to try his hardest not to let the tears escape.
Trying to distract himself he viewed the next few pages until he came across what he was looking for. It would break his hearts all over, but the memory was worth it.
~*~*~*~
“Promise?”, she whispered.
“Promise.” His reply was followed by a tight hug he gave his friend, embracing her tightly, so tightly he was sure she could hear his racing hearts. Donna snuggled up towards him, burying her head in the crook of his neck, taking in his scent which reminded her of dust and galaxies and fire. The Doctor's head rested ontop of hers, one hand buried in her hair, gently running his long, slender fingers through it, whilst his other hand held her close to him. They both simply enjoyed the moment of closeness together.
Quietly he whispered into her hair: “I hope you know how important you are to me. You are my best mate, my very best friend and most of all you are my brilliant ginger Donna whom I love for everything she has made me realise.”
There he had said it, the words that he always wanted to tell her. He hoped she wasn't mad at him for expressing his love for her. Maybe she hadn't even caught on. Just to make sure he repeated. “Donna Noble, I love you for everything you have done for me and for all the times you have saved me.”
Had she misheard? No, it couldn't be! Oh god, the Doctor just told her he loved her! It amazed Donna and at first she thought it was just a figment of her imagination but then he had repeated it and it almost made her heart leap out of her chest. Her cheeks turned a dark red and she pressed herself a tad more at him before murmuring “You too.” against his neck, hoping he hadn't heard.
Her hopes were shattered however when he suddenly pulled away, holding her at arm-length away from him. Of course he had heard her.
“What?” he asked, searching her face for any indication that she was lying to him, but instead was greeted with red, warm cheeks and a shy smile.
“I said, you too. You daft spaceman. I love you, too.”, she repeated in a louder voice, grinning up at the man in front of her. Donna was taken by surprise when suddenly she found herself pulled into another embrace, just that this time soft lips landed ontop of hers. She gasped quietly before returning the kiss. It was slow and gentle. His lips were soft against hers and she enjoyed every second of it. Who would have thought that he was such a good kisser? And who would have thought that she'd end up kissing her best mate, though, who was she kidding. Both of them knew very early on that there was this chemistry between them, so it was just a matter of time until they'd give in to it.
The kiss ended softly and the Doctor gazed into Donna's blue eyes, which now were full of adoration. Any form of doubt, sadness and fear wiped from them and replaced by love and trust.
He broke out into a wide grin before jumping up an clapping his hands together.
“How about we take some pictures together? I know this planet, not far from here actually and I think it'd be lovely to go there. What do you think?”
Donna's expression quickly matched the Doctor's and she took the hand which he had reached out for her.
“That'd be lovely.” she replied, grinning happily before being dragged back into the console room.
“Time to take some pictures!” the Doctor exclaimed.
And that's exactly what they did.
~*~*~*~
There they were, the photos that would rip his hearts apart. He flipped the page, examining the first pictures which were of him and Donna, grinning like idiots into the camera in front of some odd looking structures.
The writing underneath read:
So, this is the first picture with myself in it. The Doctor said I should put it here because I look lovely. I have to disagree with him but I know it will make him happy so here we go. I told him about my reasons for the photos and it took a nice turn. We then decided together we would appear in them together from now on. So here we go. This was on some weird planet, I don't remember its name but we wanted to go sight-seeing but somehow ended up insulting the whole population. Woops.
He couldn't help but smile at the simple description. It was just so... Donna.
Looking at all these pictures of them together lifted his mood momentarily, especially reading all her comments made him happier again.
A few pages after he reached the last photograph of them together on Shan Shen. They looked so happy. If only they had known that this would be their last adventure together.
He sighed, closing the book before sadness could overwhelm him again. He still regrets what he did to Donna, day in day out.
“What was all this about, old girl?”, he asked, looking up at the ceiling.
The TARDIS gave a short hum, telling him to use his brain.
Seconds passed before he sprung up and hit himself over the head with the photo album.
“OF COURSE! I'm so daft sometimes! Thank you!”, he yelled before running to the control room setting the coordinates.
“Next stop, Earth, 21st Century, London, Chiswick!”
He pushed down a lever and the TARDIS dematerialised with a familiar wheezing sound.
He could still safe her.