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The years pass. Iroh is away at Ba Sing Se. They grow colder towards everyone. Mother grows further away. It hurts his heart when she looks at him like she doesn't know him, like she never knew him.
He couldn't keep being the same person, though. Azula was right.
She always was.
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He still was never able to bend lighting like Azula. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't. He could bend magma sure, but not lightening. He had gotten less disappointed stares, although this one lingered. His shame, never able to be fully masked.
At least he was leaps and bounds from where he was before.
It was dinnertime and he looked at Azula across the table from him. Ever since the talk years ago (why she even went to him in the first place he could have never understood. But he was glad she did. She had been straying away, becoming colder, and it was nice to have her be his sister again instead of his competition.)
“So, Azula, how are your studies going?” Father said, looking towards her.
Zuko said nothing but scraped his fork across the plate.
She beamed. “It was great! We learned new forms today! Zuko can breathe fire now.”
Ozai lifted an eyebrow. “Is that so.”
Zuko shrugged. “I found a few scrolls in the library and tried them out. Talked about how “fire comes from the breath” or something. Figured it was worth a try.”
Azula rolled her eyes. “It is unbecoming of a prince to downplay his achievements.” She took a bite of her dinner, the picture of royalty. “Besides,” she laughed, covering her mouth, “You should have seen the tutors. They were absolutely terrified.”
Zuko felt himself smirk at the reminder. “Oh they were quaking in their poorly made boots.”
They laughed together, ignoring the disapproving eyes of their mother.
It was business as usual then.
The Firelord was dead.
And apparently, named his younger son the new Firelord. There were whispers of treachery hidden from prying ears and Zuko...wouldn’t discount the theories entirely. His father would go as far as he had to in order to further what he thought was right.
Zuko had no idea where his Uncle was, but he was not concerned. He was the Dragon of the West anyway. No one could get the jump on him.
He looked to Azula with a raised eyebrow as if to say, Do you know what happened?
She shrugged as if to say, No clue.
He sighed, Let’s find out then.
She nodded affirmatively and he walked out.
Mother was also gone. Not that it mattered much to her. She was not much of a mother after all, anyway.
She has only the harsh words and disgusted looks to remember her by. She doesn’t have the nice memories Zuko did before he smartened up and closed his emotions up so well she’s surprised he even has them.
Except anger, but her father actually encouraged that emotion, so it didn’t matter.
She felt, deep deep down, a shred of remorse. Of the unfairness. They shouldn’t have had to do what they did. They shouldn’t have had the pressure to be perfect or mold themselves into an impeccable image of royalty.
A pedestal forever tarnished on the inside but gleaming beautifully on the outside.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown, Azula thinks before she confronts Zuko.
She may not like her brother but she does love him.
Maybe.
At least enough to tell him the reality of the situation he was in, not coddling him like her treacherous mother or wayward uncle.
She needed to find Zuko. It would sadden him to know she left, especially without word to anyone.
To him.
A part of Azula, one she pushes down and suffocates, never to see the light of day, almost hates her father for twisting them both into the amalgamation they are.
But to even acknowledge those thoughts are treasonous, and she refused to go down the same path.
“She’s gone.” Is what Azula says to Zuko when she enters the room.
The poor unfortunate servant that had been in the room was horrified when two cold eyes landed on her and a full tone commanded “Leave us, now.”
The servant blinks once, twice and then, “Are you deaf as well as stupid? The crown prince asked you to leave immediately.” Azula looked at the servant spitefully.
The servant looked terrified and Zuko couldn’t bring himself to care much. His mood was more focused on what Azula had said.
The servant scrambled away after an apology and a bow.
He turned to her, eyes frosty. “She’s gone? You’re sure.”
It wasn’t a question.
She nodded and Zuko’s eyes closed off even more. She knew this was no act and her brother was truly furious.
(A cold anger burned through her for him but she could not and would not acknowledge it. Not here. Not now. When it was so unsafe.)
Zuko laughed coldly. “I guess I can’t say I’m surprised. I guess she decided to cut her losses when both of her kids turned into to people she couldn’t stand.”
Azula frowned. “Don’t blame yourself for this. Mother made her choice and we made ours. We have nothing to apologize for.”
Zuko sighed seemingly bored, a front only she would be able to see through.
This had deeply hurt him, in ways he might not recover from.
Azula could only wonder what would happen from here.
Thankfully it didn’t get much worse. Life went on and their traitorous uncle returned. He spent most of his time with Zuko, and Zuko spent almost all of his time with Azula, so she was forced to spend time with him by proxy.
She sighed, absolutely bored by this lesson. She had already read this far and had no intention to listen to the teacher drone on. She almost wished Zuko caught up to her in his studies so she could at least bother him during lessons.
She wondered if Zuko was going out tonight. He had started sneaking out of the palace and she had no idea what he was doing.
She wasn't worried he could do anything he wanted. She didn't care.
But she still wanted to know just in case.
Zuko looked towards his uncle. “Why would I learn swordsmanship? Bending is obviously superior anyway.”
His uncle sighed, “It is good to know many different disciplines, Prince Zuko. You never know when it might save your life.”
He scoffed. “If i’m relying on a sword to save my life I’ve already lost, and might as well surrender.”
He ignored his uncle’s pained expression and continued his forms. “Please nephew, just think about it.”
He rolled his eyes. “I would, but Father would not be happy to find me learning something obviously below me. I am not going to incur his wrath just to make you happy.”
Iroh paused, considering. “If I can get him to agree, will you agree to go?”
Zuko held in a laugh. “Sure, if you can get him to say yes, I will not only go, but I won’t complain.” He paused and then added, “Much.”
Iroh held his hand out. “It’s a deal then.”
They shook hands and Zuko felt confident he wouldn’t have to honor his promise.
“I can’t believe he agreed.” Zuko said, flopping onto Azula’s bed. “I really thought he would say no. That’s why I agreed.”
Azula shook her head. “That was your first mistake. Never agree to something you don’t want to do.”
Zuko rolled his eyes. “Not all of us can be master manipulators, miss crown princess.”
Azula hid her smirk. “Since I’m ahead of you, I doubt they will mind if I take a few days off. Even if they say no, I’ll make them say yes.”
Zuko raised an eyebrow. “You’d do that for me? What happened to the ‘I’m going to beat you’ mindset? Changed your mind already?”
She looked at him annoyed. “I don’t change my mind. As it stands, I’m still ahead of you. By a few lessons. Maybe this will allow you to actually catch up for once.”
Zuko laughed. “I knew it, you missed me in your lessons. You have no one to bother.”
“That is not even remotely close to the truth. You couldn’t be more wrong.” she turned away from him.
“Of course not.”
He didn’t point out how she was obviously lying,
Learning swords, Zuko found, was not completely useless. It was actually pretty fun. He picked up the dual dao blades pretty well.
Azula was there for the first few lessons, but after the third one, she didn’t join.
“It’s nice to be better than Azula at something for once.” he said, cleaning his blades after practice one day.
He felt his uncle tense and say, “It doesn’t matter that she is better than you. I think you do a fine job.”
Zuko gave him a ‘what are you talking about’ look. “I’m not mad Azula is better than me. It’s natural talent, I can’t compete with that.”
Iroh looked even more troubled and Zuko decided he didn’t want to know what was going on in his head.
“Besides we get to practice when we get back. I haven’t seen her in a few days and it will be nice to spar again.” He picked up his stuff and got ready to leave.
“You two spar together?”
“Of course we do. Why wouldn't we? I mean, she usually wins, but I have gotten her a few times.”
“She let’s you win?” The disbelief coats his words.
Zuko glares at him. “She doesn't let me win. I win by myself. She wouldn’t disrespect me by giving herself a handicap.”
The way back is silent from then on.
“He asked if you let me win.” Zuko said, walking angrily into the open area they practice in. The scorch marks have increased in the years they’ve been here and no amount of cleaning can save this area. Not for lack of trying though.
She raised an eyebrow. “Who asked that?”
Zuko threw his hands up in the air. “Who do you think?”
“Our uncle?” she says, looking disinterested as she sets up their “arena”.
“Yes!” She could tell he was ab out to go on a long dramatic rant.
One thing sure hasn’t changed throughout these years, Azula thinks, he still is very dramatic.
“Zuko.” she cut him off mid rant. “If you win, it is not because I let you. You really think I would let you win?”
Zuko scowled. “That's what i told him.”
She rolled her eyes and took her starting stance. “Then prove it.” She smirked, eyes shining with the competitive streak she was known for.
“Oh I will.” He said, as he lit up his palms and threw his first strike.
Her father walked into her lesson. Thankfully she had mastered the art of pretending to pay attention when she wasn’t (perfected by the boring dinners they had to attend with all the delegates).
“Fire Lord Ozai!” the tutors bowed in customary greeting.
He didn’t acknowledge them except for a “Leave us, immediately.”
They nodded and left as quickly as possible.
She turned to him, giving him her full attention. “Yes father, is there something you require?”
“I have heard rumors of the avatar being back.” he said, looking unhappy as he said it. “Obviously, I need to know if this is true, and if it is, he must be brought back to the fire nation. He is a threat not only to us, but the world.”
She nodded. “So, you want me to go look?”
“No.” he said.
Then why are you telling me this? She thought, but let no emotion or thoughts cross her face.
“I want your brother to go and look for him, and I want you to go to make sure this mission is a success. While your brother has shown improvement over the years, especially after your mother left, I still don’t fully believe he can execute my commands as well as you, Azula.”
She beamed with pride, only letting a small smile slip from her mask of cool indifference. “I appreciate the trust, father.”
“You will leave tomorrow at dawn Don’t tell anyone. Your uncle gets back tomorrow afternoon, and I think it’s best you’re gone before then.”
“Of course, father.” she bowed. “I will get Zuko then.”
He nodded. “I am going to a meeting now, and would like you to join. You can get him after.”
She nodded and followed him.
The Avatar is back then? I hope for both our sakes he is still nothing but a myth. Because he will wish he had stayed gone when I get my hands on him.