Chapter Text
Chapter 1
A twi’lek girl pushed Rey, hard.
Hard enough that the audible thud and simultaneous yelp drew the curious eyes of all the others in the courtyard. Rey didn’t holler out pain, really, she wouldn't give them the satisfaction of actually hearing her pain. It was more a pained sound out of the sudden falling feeling; her breath being knocked out of her small chest. A feeling that threw her back into the memories of dirt and sand, baked air, constant pain, hunger…… loneliness ….
No. She wouldn’t go there when there was enough pain and loneliness to keep her thoughts locked into the present.
Rey inhaled a lungful of synthetic greenery, and used her sore, red palms to push herself onto her swelling knees. A quick mental assessment, but nothing felt broken. Her palms and knees will mostly be sore for a few days but that’s it. One would think with all the advancements that have been made in the galaxy, synthetics could be a bit softer and more real smelling.
Her head whipped back to glare at her tormentor, only to find that the older girl had already sauntered away. “Sand worm .” was barely audible; the courtyard returned to its normal musings. Binary filled into the buzzing background as students and staff went about their routines. Not caring that a small humanoid was sprawled out on the ground.
She wasn't going to cry. That had stopped long ago, dried up just like everything else in the desert. Instead, she hauled herself to her fit and strode with purpose across the yard to get to her first lesson.
Deconstruction of a rudimentary holopad was scribbled at the front of the classroom when Rey entered. Like she hadn't learned that easy little lesson the first time Plutt denied ration packets.
Remembering the hunger made her stomach clench out of habit. It was nice and full now, the clench causing her flat belly to distend a bit. Rey took a seat in the back, then grabbing the few tools off the shelf along the wall, set to work on the holopad at her spot.
She didn't need to listen to a protocol droid prattle on about the semantics of getting the job done. It was just so easy. The tools were extensions of her fingers. Unscrewing and disconnecting, laid out piece by piece. It was a mindless task, but allowed Rey the peace of thinking of nothing at all. Nothing was good. Noting meant no feelings, no memories, no darkness or light. Just empty space, nothing.
Before the others finished drifting in, Rey was done. All the parts and pieces laid out so the protocol droid could see. They weren’t programmed to scold, only to guide. The creators of the program under the impression everyone would be grateful to be given a purpose in life. Ha.
So, she did what she’s always done: curled into a ball, holding tightly the small bag to her chest and her head resting on the workbench. She wouldn’t miss out on a perfect opportunity to get extra sleep knowing she wouldn’t be in trouble for it, or worse, wake up to find trouble.. Might as well conserve the energy and get some rest. She wasn’t used to having a set schedule. Expected to be up at a certain time, remain awake for said time, sleeping when they decided to turn off the power and lights.
She shut her eyes and slept. Dreamless. She stopped dreaming when she came to this hunk of space rock. It helped to lose track of the time, no dreaming. She doesn’t know how long she was out, but when a loud ping sounded, she shot straight up. Still clutching the bag to her chest, she scanned the rest of the room. No one else looked alarmed. In fact, the room was mostly silent. Everyone working on different stages of disassembling their holopads. Even the droid was quietly stalking behind the desks. Not offering commentary. It knew it’s lesson and skill sets were mediocre at best.
Rey wiped a small stream of drool from her face with the back of her hand, about to return back to her own little world of unconsciousness when she noticed it. Him , she corrected herself. She was confident the cyborg was a him, if he was even a cyborg at all. She flushed pink, should have noticed him earlier , she chastised herself. No one ever sits beside her, so she didn’t bother to look when she was awoken. He looked mildly humorous, his large size folded onto a stool much too small to hold his girth, head slightly ducked and emotionless front staring blankly at her. Did he make that pinging sound? To alert her to his presence and her own slacking? Did he know about the nonfight from earlier?
He sat so still, one would think he was all machine. No movement in his chest to suggest breath, but no whirling mechanic sounds either. Head to toe in all black didn’t help either. How could one tell if he was man or machine if he looked so soft yet was so still. Was the sound just in her head?
“You know what I’ve come for.” came a quiet, modulated voice.
Did she?
Instead of giving a reply, she simply nodded and followed his lead as he rose from the entirely too small seat. She slung the bag across her back and skittered behind the loping thuds of the school's imperator.
Imperator Kylo Ren.
He strode through the small door, ducking his head ever so slightly to fit. His helmet, or was it a mask, just barely missed grazing the top of the door frame. If the cowl he always seemed to have was pulled over his head like normal, it would have been knocked back or snagged on the frame. But he didn’t pause, or seemed concerned in the least that he barely made it through. He just kept moving forward, down the open air corridor with his cloak sashaying a little with each large step, not bothering to check if she was following. Because he knew she was. He always knew what everyone and everything was doing; yet to her it seemed he was just a little more attuned to her. At least she hoped, daydream is more like it.
The hall continued to twist this way and that, and Rey would surely be lost if he wasn’t leading. He halted quite suddenly in front of a large durasteel door. She would have ran smack into him if he hadn’t put a large gloved hand out to signal the stop. It was but a moment until it slid open with an audible whoosh of recycled air.
A moment of panic raced down Rey’s spine as Imperator Ren reached his outstretched arm back to put the faintest pressure on lower back, enticing her to walk forward into the unknown room. If only she’d known at the time that the imperator never touched anyone ever, that might have immediately eased the ridiculous feeling wracking her body. But as she stepped into the brightly lit, odorless place.
A small, yet robust med droid stood in the middle of the clean room and offered a greeting in Basic. Rey greeted it back as Imperator Ren followed in behind her.
“A full scan.” He barked and nudged Rey forward again.
The droid said nothing as it stepped into the girl’s range. It’s robotic arm shot and gripped her palm for but a moment before it suddenly released. Rey held her injured hands to her chest as she watched Ren grip the droid’s arm firmly.
“Don’t touch her. No unnecessary contact.” came his sharp modulated voice. Rey almost swore she heard a small huff at the end of his demand. Just like when he came and took her away from the burning desert.
Imperator Ren released the droid, drawing back to his full imposing height. A small dent left in the mechanical arm, disfigured from the force of his grip. The droid beeped in Binary, processing the demand and recalculating it’s approach.
The droid centered itself in front of her person and a blue light shot of from the single lense on its head. Rey lowered her gaze, avoiding the laser from damaging her retina.
“Female humanoid between 14 to 16 cycles. Blood type 0+. Presenting with torn ligament in left wrist, scapholunate ligament. Swelling it both palms of the hand and knees. Significant bruising above right patella. Rapid breathing and increase in heart rate suggest decrease in oxygen levels. Increase in overall basal temperature and mild swelling of vulva indicates ovulation. On deeper scan, oxygen levels are within normal range. Explanation for heart rate and blood pressure symptoms: ovulation.”
Rey’s whole face burned pink. Her ears felt like they might melt off the sides of her head. Deep, calm breaths , she tried to remind herself. She didn’t need the droid pointing out anything else embarrassing.
Why can’t the floor just open up and swallow me? Why does he need me to do this? Using one ugly shoe to play with the other, she focused on proper breathing and making herself as small as possible by hunching her shoulders. She was sure she looked as pathetic as she felt.
“Suggested treatment for ailments:.For left wrist -durasteel and biomesh casing. For left wrist, right knee, and left knee - bacta patches and cooling patches. For ovulation- stimulative interc-”
Rey jerked her head up to see the medical droid had been cut off by Imperator Ren ripping it’s voice modular component out of its chest. She hadn’t even heard him move, and didn’t know if it was the droid being cut off or the sound of soft mental being ripped apart.
Imperator Ren’s shoulders were shaking slightly, with small up and down movements. Was he embarrassed too? Did cyborgs get embarrassed?
“Get the casing, bacta, and cooling packets.” He snapped at the mangled droid while dropping the destroyed modulator to the floor with a loud metal clang. He spun on his heels to look over Rey. He took a step forward, and another. Approaching slowly, like one would approach a Loth kitten about to turn and run, he hunches his shoulders in an attempt to match her small stance.
He stared, for a moment, before
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asked, much calmer than he was moments before.
It was nerve-wracking, kriff, it should have been scary and concerning how quickly his moods changed. She’d heard the rumours about him, that talk. The whispered musings of all across different walks of life. Imperator Kylo Ren. Scourge of the galaxy. The hellhound of the Empire/ Bloodties to highly ranked official within the system. Uncontrollable, bloodthirsty, insane . That he was Imperator only to harvest the best and brightest in the galaxy and service them up on a chromium plate to the Empire.
But now he sounded so tender, speaking to Rey, yet not enough to make her feel like she should spill her secrets. She didn’t know him. She didn’t trust him. And she didn’t want to. She didn’t need anyone, no one at all. Except for maybe…
“No.” she said, and shook her head. She wanted it to come out strong but it was hardly the sound a skittermouse would make.
“Okay.” he said immediately. Like he always did, accepting what she says as absolute truth. Not questioning, or suspicious like the others.
The med droid returned, rolling a med cart in front of itself, full of bacta, various casings and gauze, and plenty of other supplies Rey was sure she didn’t need. Imperator Ren snatched a casing that appeared too large to fit her yet looked miniscule in his hands. He fiddled with for a few seconds before he seemed to give up and, unaccepting of failure, simply crushed it to pieces in his large gloved hands. Flinging the crumpled, wonky casing to the ground, he stalked out the door with a swish of black fabric.
A quiet, “Return to your lessons.” could be heard as the durasteel door closed once more with a hiss of air.
*
A sound barrier breaking scream woke Rey from dreamless sleep. She kicked the thin sheets from her bunk and stood, not daring to walk where she couldn’t see. Gazing through the blue-black darkness of the night, once again no one appeared to be bothered by the sound Rey thought she heard. Shrugging, he returned to the worn bed and overstuff pillow in the shared room.
The next morning, the same twi-lek girl strutted past Rey. She expected the brightly colored girl to fling another insult or maybe something more horrible. But as Rey watched her go, without so much as a single glance at herself, she couldn’t help but notice a shiny new prosthetic, installed just at the girl’s wrist. A thin crust seemed to have formed around where metal met flesh, but Rey couldn't get a good enough look to tell. And Rey put it from her mind as she continued on her way.