Work Text:
The third time Cait noticed bruises, she asked Tony about them. He clammed up and didn't speak to her for the rest of the day. Tony knew he was in trouble, but didn't dare speak about it. Abby had told him the first time, in the strictest terms, that he should tell Gibbs, but Tony feared he would be perceived as weak and didn't want to be seen as such by the older man he worshipped as a hero. He vowed never to go back, and that would be that. But the job and the longing made him itch, and it was only short months before he couldn't resist its pull any longer.
Tony had been seeking a release from his job and the unrequited love he had for his boss, and had fallen back into what he considered to be bad habits. It had not been difficult to discover the address of the club where he could find what he needed. But what he had always considered play, had turned more fierce, and he had been taken by a man who thought he could own Tony, who relished in trying to break him. Not that Tony ever would, not for him, would not submit to him, that was saved for one man and one man only. But Tony feared that man would never take up the invitation so clearly and often offered.
The first time Tony had gone to the club, he had left the place happy and sated, his needs met and almost eager for the next time things got to be too much and he needed this particular kind of release. But the second time, he had been spotted by one of the regulars who didn't always play nice. And Tony was not one to submit easily, he needed to be broken and made to submit, and the regular thought the way to owning Tony was the brute force the man reveled in. He didn't know that what Tony really needed was the dominance of personality, the sheer force of presence that Tony would submit to, and that the pain and punishment was actually not to Tony's liking. But Tony had only ever met one man who could dominate him like that; if only he could have more of that man, have all of him, in his life and in his bed, then he wouldn't need this at all anymore.
When Tony had seen himself in the mirror the next day, cataloguing the bruises and feeling the burn and pain in his ass from the brutal fucking he had been subjected to, he promised himself he would not go back. But months later, after a particularly difficult case, Gibbs riding them constantly and demanding more and better at every turn, he had not been able to resist. It was just his luck that the man who had taken him the previous time had been there as well, and had made it clear to the other patrons that the golden boy belonged to him. Tony felt trepidation upon seeing the man and his leering, possessive look, but had not been able to resist. He made it out of there relatively unharmed that second time with the man, bruises evident on his wrists and neck, but at least he hadn't been taken by force that time and he could still walk without pain. He had noticed Cait's looks, but had ignored them. Abby was less easily ignored, and her very vocal telling off of him stung his soul. Still he couldn't face the wrath of Gibbs and, when Abby had again implored him to speak to the man, he had defied her once more.
The third time, he was not so lucky, and he had to call in sick for three days to recover before he could force himself to walk without wincing, and hide his bruises with a carefully selected shirt. Abby had been over to check on him, but seeing the state he was in, had just shaken her head in sadness and worry, and had not even tried to wheedle a promise from him that he would talk to Gibbs.
The fourth time it happened, nearly three years into his stint on Gibbs' team and more then a year after Cait had joined, the bruises and the line on his neck where the regular had nearly succeeded in strangling him in a bid to gain his submission, were impossible to hide. Tony limped from the pain, voice raspy from the pressure exerted on his throat, wrists and ankles discolored with bruises, a black eye and split lip he had received for his defiance. Abby just looked at him with big, sad eyes, offering a gentle hug without her usual exuberance in supplication, but knowing it would do no good. Cait had gasped as she saw him gingerly sitting down at his desk, begging him with her eyes to talk to her, but not entreating him further than that knowing it would be no use. McGee in his stuttering, gentle way, had asked Tony what happened. "Mugged", Tony replied curtly and didn't elaborate. Gibbs stared at the man at that response, and sent him to Ducky to be checked out.
Ducky took his time examining the young agent, and made his report to Gibbs only a few minutes after Tony had dressed and left Autopsy. "I am very worried, Jethro. This was obviously no mugging. Young Anthony was beaten and tied, and the strangulation showed no sign of our young friend trying to stop it. That is not like our Anthony at all, he would fight with every breath to save his life. It is almost like he had no choice, which would be explained if he were restrained. His chest and back are covered in bruises and welts. Then the young man refused to let me examine him fully, insisting he keep on his shorts. Yes, I am very worried."
Gibbs took in the information with his usual calm, but inside he was seething. Someone had touched his golden boy, and that was simply unacceptable. Tony was his, and Gibbs didn't share. It was time that the world learned that.
~~~~~
Tony was almost grateful when they didn't catch a case that day, at least he could rest his body at his desk and try to ignore his injuries for a while. On the other hand, an active case would have given him an adrenaline rush that would have helped him in overcoming his pain. That evening, when they were finally done, Gibbs issued his orders: "Go home, people! See you back here Monday at oh-eight-hundred. DiNozzo, with me."
Tony sighed, but would never be able to defy Gibbs, so he joined the man in his car and let him take him home. Gibbs ordered pizza and gave him beer, not saying a word until the younger man had been fed and relaxed. At last, Gibbs looked at Tony and said: "Strip."
Looking at his boss horrified, Tony again knew he wouldn't be able to resist. Slowly he took off his shirts and socks, then, with a pleading look at his boss but seeing no mercy, dropped his pants.
"Shorts too," Gibbs ordered.
Gibbs seemed not to be paying any attention to him, and Tony obligingly removed the last stitch of clothing he had on, covering himself almost modestly with his hands.
"No need for that, DiNozzo," Gibbs snorted, not really paying attention to the naked body on display. "If you're willing to drop them for someone who treats you like that, you can drop them for me."
Tony obediently put his hands to his side and clenched them into fists, bouncing them against his thighs, making his half-hard cock twitch.
At last, Gibbs looked at the younger man and forced himself to keep his breathing even at the sight of the bruises that covered most of his body.
"Turn around," he ordered, "and bend over."
Embarrassed but hard, Tony did as ordered.
Gibbs almost keened in pain at the sight of the damage done to his boy, but managed to keep it inside. Bruising and a bloody mess were exposed when Tony bent over. He wondered how his boy had been able to sit and work the entire day.
"Tony," it took every ounce of self-restraint to keep his voice even: "go upstairs and shower. Gently. Then wait for me in my bed."
~~~~~
Tony was both amazed and exasperated. He didn't think his boss was repulsed by him, but on the other hand, Tony had not expected him to order him around like this. Was Gibbs into this? Tony had suspected, with the way Gibbs ordered him around at work, but then it was just him. While Gibbs was sometimes forceful with McGee and Cait, he saved his most biting remarks and orders for Tony. Tony secretly loved it, but had wondered at how this reflected on his personality. Was Gibbs just reacting to what he read off of Tony, or was this something more?
Tony made his way up the stairs he had climbed a few times before. But when before he had been heading for the guest bathroom and bedroom, this time Gibbs' order had been clear and the younger man was headed for the master bed and bath. He turned on the spray and waited for it to warm, searching for and finding a new toothbrush in the cabinet and using it to brush his teeth. When the water was nice and hot, Tony stepped under it and took the soap to lather himself up and wash off whatever had been left on his body. The most difficult part came when he reached his ass, and he carefully and gingerly cleaned himself as best he could, same as he had done the previous night and that morning. When he felt he couldn't stand the hot water and the rest anymore, he shut off the shower and toweled off carefully, heading for the bedroom. Gibbs had said to wait in his bed, but surely the man wouldn't be able to abide Tony to spend the night there. So just to be sure, Tony waited at the foot of the bed.
Gibbs listened for the sounds and, after he had heard the shower turn off, waited a few more minutes before making his way upstairs. He was a little dismayed when he found Tony at the foot of his bed. He had given the boy a clear order to wait in his bed, not at the foot of it. Naked as Tony was, the bruises and welts stood out on his pale skin even more than they had before, and Gibbs was angry and upset at the hurt his boy had been put through. He sighed.
"In the bed, Tony. Now." Holding up one corner of the comforter, Gibbs waited until his boy had scooted down under there and told him to stay put, that Gibbs would be back shortly. Gibbs made his way to the bathroom and found the antiseptic cream and the salve. Walking back to the bed, he was saddened when he saw his boy tense, until Tony reminded himself that this was Gibbs and made a conscious effort to relax.
Reaching over and pulling back the covers, Gibbs liberally applied cream and salve to the wounds and bruises, hoping it would help his boy as much as possible. The most tense part came when he had Tony spread his legs, so Gibbs could examine the damage there and apply the antiseptic. If it was really bad, he'd have to call in Ducky, who already had his suspicions, but Gibbs was pleased to find there was less damage than he had expected upon sight. However, Tony certainly tensed and it was clear he did not like or trust the fingers at his ass. Putting away the supplies, Gibbs gently sighed again on the way to the bathroom and then made his way back to the bed, undressing and slipping in beneath the sheets beside Tony. Gibbs sensed the younger man tensing, but decided to ignore it, slipping his arm around the delightful but damaged body beside his, and pulling it close. Dropping a gentle kiss on top of the younger man's head, Gibbs tightened his grip and said: "Sleep well, sweet Tony."
~~~~~
In spite of himself, Tony slept well and woke only when sunlight started peeking around the edges of the curtains. He was still wrapped up in strong arms, his head resting in the crook of a warm neck. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled the scent of the body next to him and smelled the familiar fragrance of Old Spice and sawdust. Gibbs. He tensed again, the events of the previous evening rushing back to his mind. Gibbs had taken him home and taken care of him, then taken him into his bed and his arms and ordered him to sleep. Gibbs knew. Knew about his dirty and shameful secret and still had held him close all night.
"You awake?", he heard the raspy voice of his boss above his head. His breath caught in his throat a second, but he knew it was no use to pretend. Not with this man.
"Yes, Boss," he said quietly.
"How are you feeling?"
Carefully stretching and cataloguing what he felt, he gave an honest answer: "Hurts."
"Will for a few days. Stay here, I'll run you a hot bath. That will help." And Gibbs carefully untangled himself from his boy and went to the bathroom where he started preparing the bath.
Tony's mind was reeling. His boss was still taking care of him, not kicking him out or ragging on him. He couldn't figure it out. He had always been worried that Gibbs would be angry and disgusted if he found out about this, would think Tony weak. He had never expected the man to be this… accepting and caring. He was sure that a severe lecture was in his near future, but decided to just accept the situation for now, too sore and hurt to fight it. Besides, it felt kind of nice to be taken care of by his boss.
Bath running, Gibbs returned to the bedroom with a glass of water and a couple of pain killers in hand, and gave them to Tony, who took them in thanks. Gibbs watched the younger man gingerly get up and led him to the bathroom, where he waited until his boy was safely ensconced in the hot water, then ordered him to relax. Then Gibbs went to the kitchen, put on coffee and started setting out things for breakfast. When the coffee was done, he poured two cups, fixing Tony's as he liked it, and took them upstairs. Tony was starting to relax in the hot water and gratefully took the coffee, pleased when he took his first sip and found it fixed to his taste, but tensed again when Gibbs sat down on the closed lid of the toilet and stayed there sipping his own coffee. He was sure that this would be when the lecture started.
To his surprise, Gibbs only asked him again how he was feeling and if he'd slept well. They sat companionably for several minutes, and when the coffee was done, Gibbs reached for Tony's cup and asked if he wanted some more. Answering affirmatively, Gibbs got more from the kitchen and brought it to Tony, this time leaving him alone in the bathroom after saying that he should get out of the tub when he was finished with his coffee.
Another ten minutes later Tony came out of the bathroom, still toweling off, and froze only for a moment when he found Gibbs sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him.
"Lay down, Tony," Gibbs ordered, and Tony complied. Gibbs again carefully applied salve and antiseptic cream to Tony's wounds, then handed him a couple of sweats and told him to get dressed and come downstairs for breakfast. Still amazed but grateful, Tony did as he was told.
~~~~
The entire day followed a similar pattern. After breakfast, Gibbs told him to do the dishes and gave him some other chores, took him grocery shopping, had him come down to the basement and sand the boat for a while. Gibbs never spoke other than to give him a task to do, and evening found Tony relaxed and sitting on the couch next to Gibbs, pizza and beer in hand. He was in a settled frame of mind, and felt much better. But now he was curious, so he decided to chance it.
"Boss?"
"You crossed the line, boy."
Surprised at the words, he recognized the tone and realized he would now be getting the talk that he had been expecting all day. He stayed silent and waited for it.
"You ever, EVER, do something like this again, I'll have your hide for it. Now explain."
Tony gulped. Then he started to talk.
"I used to… play sometimes. I was introduced to it by one of my frat buddies, and found it was something I needed from time to time to help me stay grounded. You know how I can get sometimes, Boss." His self-deprecating smile was answered with a knowing little smirk from Gibbs.
"When I got into the police force, I knew it was too dangerous, and I didn't do it anymore. And I didn't feel the need for it for a long time."
"What changed?" Gibbs asked.
"It was… a combination of things. I hadn't been feeling… right for a while, and then there was the Coulson case."
Gibbs remembered. That had been a harrowing case that had him retreating to his basement with several bottles of bourbon for the entire weekend, not surfacing until he had to go to work on Monday morning.
"I got the name of this club that came well recommended, that I was assured was safe. The first time was great, and it really helped me."
"And then?"
"It was a couple of months later. I started to unravel. Went to the club, and got into it with this guy who reminded me of… well, he reminded me of someone. But he turned out to be a little rougher than I was looking for."
Gibbs winced. He remembered that time too, seeing Tony's bruises and careful way of moving. Who had this guy reminded his boy of?
"I promised myself I wouldn't go back. But then a few months later… well, the same guy was there, and even though I didn't really want to, he just sort of… it wasn't so bad. But the time after that…"
"You called in sick for three days."
"And then last Thursday… He was there, it seemed I couldn't get away from him. He was frustrated I wouldn't… and he took it out on me. I thought he was going to kill me, Boss."
"He nearly did from what I heard from Ducky."
"Yeah… I was really scared, Boss, that I wouldn't… get back to… get back to you." Sucking in a breath when he realized what he'd just said, he quickly added: "To the job."
~~~~~
Gibbs considered what his boy had said, and was pretty sure that he understood correctly. He had seen the looks Tony gave him sometimes, seen his reactions to the head slaps and the orders Gibbs gave him, and now was sure that he had not read them wrong. Time to make his boy understand it too.
"Why didn't you come to me?"
Tony considered how much he should say for a while.
"It's… embarrassing, Boss. I'm supposed to be this badass federal agent, and I get into this? Yeah, I could really see that going over well. Abby was so pissed at me. She told me to go to you after the first time, but I just couldn't."
"Abby knew?"
"Yeah… she saw the bruises, and we had talked one time when we had a movie night and had too much to drink. I said some things, and she figured it out."
Gibbs smiled. "She's pretty smart."
"Don't be mad at her for not telling you. I begged her not to."
"It was not her story to tell, Tony. Still doesn't explain why you didn't come to me."
Tony sighed and then took a deep breath to steel himself.
"I didn't… I… I didn't want you to… think any less of me."
And there it was. The admission that Gibbs had been waiting for. Tony was looking down at his hands, clasping his beer bottle, clearly uncomfortable with what he had just said. Now to make things clear to his boy.
~~~~~
Gibbs turned to Tony and cupped his hand under his boy's cheek and chin, turning his face up so they could look in each other's eyes.
"I could never think less of you for needing something, Tony."
Taking his time reading Gibbs' eyes, Tony saw the truth of the statement there.
"Thank you, Boss," he said quietly.
"You should have come to me," Gibbs admonished him.
"I know, Boss. I should have told you the truth when it had happened, and not gone back."
"No, Tony. You should have come to me BEFORE it happened. You should never have gone there. Don't you know you can trust me to give you whatever you need? That I will look after you however you need?"
Tony was shocked, giving Gibbs the deer-caught-in-the-headlights-look. "Boss?"
"You've been mine since Baltimore, boy. Mine to order around, mine to use, mine to take care of."
"Yours, Boss?"
"Mine to kiss, mine to make love to, mine to love. Mine." And with that, Gibbs leaned in and gently kissed Tony. It was a soft slide of lips, mindful of the cut on Tony's, nothing forceful. Still Gibbs managed to assert his dominance and Tony gladly accepted it. After a few minutes of gentle kissing, Gibbs pulled back and repeated: "Mine."
"Yes, Boss. Thank you, Boss." It came out on a sigh and then, to Tony's horror and relief, a single tear fell from his eye.
Gibbs carefully brushed it away with the rough pad of his thumb, reassuring his boy once again: "Mine."
And Tony knew with all his heart that whatever life would throw at them in the years to come - and he could tell that it would be a bumpy ride - they would always find their way back to each other. Because seeing the same reflected in the older man's eyes, he knew that they both realized that this was where they belonged. Together.