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“Like you and Julie.”
“Uh, wha- what’s that supposed to mean?”
Reggie chuckled. “Come on. Everyone can see the way you looks at her when you sing. You guys ooze chemistry.” That one hurt Reggie a little bit. But he was fine. He had done this a lot before; making fun of Luke for being a ladies man. Even when his crush had been at its peak before they died.
“You should never say ‘ooze’ again”, Alex shot back to him, “but yeah. I agree.” He said to Luke.
Reggie hadn’t told Luke and Alex he liked boys and girls. He told himself it was because of Alex. But it wasn’t. It was other friends (“No one knows what that means.”) or his parents (“That doesn’t make sense. Choose one.”) or himself at 3 in the morning (“Two gay band mates. Are you guys like... dating?”).
“Okay, no. I have chemistry with everyone I sing with.” Luke protested. Reggie knew Luke was going to show them by singing with one of them. Like close singing. And he also knew Luke would never do anything with Alex, especially not now with him and Willie. So Reggie prepared himself for staring into Luke’s eyes and being close to him. Even after 25 years to get over Luke, he hadn’t. And now coming into a world where he can be himself and not deal with stuff from people who don’t like him liking both boys and girls. But he can’t with the band. Not with Luke.
“Seriously, watch. Uhh- I believe, I believe that we’re just one dream” Luke was slowly getting closer to Reggie who was trying to keep his breathing steady and not blink too much. “away from who we’re meant to be” Luke was directly in front of him now. He couldn’t move. “that we’re standing on the edge of” Luke’s hand made its way up to Reggies neck. “great.” He sung the last word in a soft breath. Reggie had only a second to imagine what could happen. If he and Luke were together as more than friends and band mates. Double dates with Willie and Alex, comforting each other with kisses instead of just hugs. But it could never happen. Reggie knew that. But he gave himself 1 second to imagine it. And when that second was up, he remembered Julie. And how Luke and Julie were made for each other. So instead of kissing Luke right there, he let him step back.
“Wow, I see chemistry.” Alex quipped.
“That was pretty hot.” Reggie was speechless and needed to say something. So he said that. And it worked. Luke didn’t suspect anything. Why would he? And so Luke went on tapping Reggies lips with his fingers. Reggie, confused and flustered, held his mouth open and changed the subject as quickly as he could. “Girls. Am I right?”
“No.” Alex said with a knowing voice.
“Yes.” said Luke at the same moment with an exasperated voice.
Reggie knew Alex knew something was up with him. But he also knew Alex would never confront him. He would wait until Reggie was ready to tell him. But Reggie would never be ready. So when he had a moment alone he wrote his feelings down on a piece of paper so he could give it to Luke before they died again. But he never did. Because they didn’t die. They came back. And it never left his jacket.