Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandoms:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2021-05-02
Words:
562
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
12
Kudos:
50
Bookmarks:
7
Hits:
315

sin(Jesus) = Love

Summary:

Jesus had never felt a love like this before. He'd always been committed to opening his heart to humanity, but never had he opened it like this.

Was it possible to love anyone so much as he loved the sine wave?

No. No love would ever compare.

Notes:

This monstrosity was born out of the incredible hate popie312 has for my pronunciation of sine (the function) as sin. Thank you <3, this opportunity will never be missed.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Jesus had been born a humble man. He was this in character. Yet he was a beacon of light sent straight from heaven, and felt great responsibility in being God's representative, in being an exemplar for humanity at large. He had such a heavy role to carry out. And he did carry it out. He helped the sick, the poor, worked miracles, taught lessons. And just as any humble man would want to, Jesus too pursued education. Why would he not want to understand the world God had created and allowed humanity to flourish on?

 

 

And then he encountered it. The sine wave. It was a perfect beauty. Its curves were sloped perfectly, the peaks were never pointed, always round. Smooth. It was truly curvaceous. There were so many of them, being an infinitely extending function. The regular periods were pleasant to look at. It was strangely... attractive? Not even in a regular appreciation for its mathematical value.

 

Jesus had never thought himself a man of carnal pleasure, and yet. And yet. Jesus had never felt a love like this before. He'd always been committed to opening his heart to humanity, but never had he opened it like this.

 

Was it possible to love anyone so much as he loved the sine wave?

 

No. No love would ever compare.

 

Jesus could almost call it lust. It wasn't like the sine wave had any physical form with which to grasp him, to hold him gently. The sine wave certainly couldn't respond to him, call his name, give the affection he started to crave. But looking at its shortened form on the page, to read sin... that almost felt enough. Just that made Jesus feel hot, and with it a great sense of shame.

 

There didn't have to be shame. He was a man, similar to most others. It shouldn't be a surprise to feel so passionately for something. Jesus knew, though, that his feelings weren't normal. To gain such pleasure from a function, of all things... a function, but a beautiful one nonetheless. One that drove him wild. Jesus would lick his lips at the thought.

 

To spend time alone, to manipulate the basic sin(x) into other forms... to spread it wider, make it sharper, and even bend it to his will in polar form... it was tantalizing.

 

There were, of course, other trigonometric functions that Jesus had a choice from. But Jesus would never stray. The sine function was the first one he'd met, the first he'd loved, and nothing would change that. It would feel wrong to abandon sine in pursuit of other, less fascinating functions. It seemed to Jesus the equivalent of wondering whether to stay with a girlfriend or go for her sister. Such an unethical act disgusted him.

 

They didn't understand.

 

"It's a function... what are you on about?"

 

Everyone who saw his newfound love let poisonous words and stony gazes slip.

 

"That's so weird. Are you sure this isn't a euphemism for something else?"

 

"Disgusting. You freak."

 

They called him crazy.

 

How could they ever understand? No human on earth would know the true beauty of sin. Even as he was carried away, allowed a last supper, Jesus could never forget it. He could never forget the love they shared. The feelings he harbored. The beauty of the sine function.

 

He died for our sin(x).

Notes:

I hope you either love it or hate it. If you feel in between, clearly I have not done my job. Feel free to comment below if you think there's something I could've done better.

Also, no comments about the pun at the end. I tried my best on that one.