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“Good Lord, Lena, why are you filthy?” Lillian’s scorn was something the little girl was quickly learning to avoid, but she had yet to master the skill with only a few months practice.
“I was building, ma’am,” Lena spoke clearly, feeling a phantom sting across her cheek as she thought of the last time she had mumbled in Lillian’s presence.
“Building?” The word was spat as if it was a disgrace to even consider. “What, pray tell, were you building ?”
“A fort, ma’am,” Lena’s head was down, her hands folded in front of her. Not out of shame, simply because she knew if she looked up Lillian would strike her, and if she fidgeted Lillian would strike her double.
“A fort ?” Lillian’s words were dripping with a dangerous venom Lena was too young to understand, but knew to fear. “That’s not lady-like, Lena. You need to behave as a little girl should.”
Lena’s head shot up, but she forced it back down before she could meet Lillian’s cold eyes. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t understand.”
She could practically feel the eyeroll. “Of course not. Just try to stay in reality, Lena.”
Lena didn’t yet know to hide the disappointment that filled her, but Lillian ordered her off to change before the woman could notice it.
XXX
“Lena, where have you been?” Lionel asked as Lena entered his study, “I sent for you almost twenty minutes ago.”
“I’m sorry, Father, I was in the library and I suppose it took the maid a while to find me.” The young Luthor bowed her head slightly in apology - she may not have lived with the Luthors horribly long, only two years at this point, but she knew better than to hold Lionel’s gaze when he was disappointed in her.
Much to the little girl’s surprise, her father chuckled. “And where in the library was such an unexpected location? The classics?”
Lena shook her head, “No, I was reading some of Ian Stewart’s works.”
“Ian Sewart?” He didn’t try to hide his disbelief. “What would you be reading from him?”
“ Concepts of Modern Mathematics , mostly, though Does God Play Dice also caught my eye.” Lena’s head was still down, ever so slightly. It was no longer out of reverence, but rather because she knew whatever expression her father wore, she didn’t want to see it.
“Those are rather big books for a five year old,” Lionel observed. Lena wanted to correct him, remind him she’d been six for almost five months now, but knew he didn’t want a response from her.
With her eyes fixed on his desk rather than the man standing behind it, Lena did a rather impressive job hiding the hurt that flashed across her features.
XXX
“And what are you up to, Miss?” a vaguely familiar voice asked from her doorway.
Lena’s head shot up, surprised she hadn’t heard the intruder open the door. She relaxed ever so slightly upon recognizing one of the staff - a relatively kind lady of roughly 40 who had been assigned to her care when she was very young and still needed babysitting. At ten, it had been a while since she had seen the woman.
“Building,” Lena offered, though she shifted to hide most of her contraption - a small model of an irrigation system she thought she might be able to improve on if she could simply see it.
“Building what?” The woman, Sarah if Lena recalled correctly, entered her room further in an attempt to see what was on her desk.
In a split second decision, knowing there would be disapproval for her actual project, Lena offered an easy lie. “Just a newton’s cradle - I wanted to see if I could get the proportions correct.”
That earned a hum of approval. “Good, a simple project. The kind of thing you should be doing.”
Lena managed to fake a smile, grateful Sarah never bothered to know her all that well or else she would have seen right through the act. The twinge she felt only showed itself in her eyes now.
XXX
“Lena!” Lex’s voice echoed through the mansion, prompting a teenaged Lena Luthor to scramble from her make-shift lab to greet her brother.
“I didn’t know you were coming home so soon,” Lena said as she folded herself into Lex’s open arms.
“Finals ended early,” he offered before taking a dramatic sniff of Lena’s hair. “Why do you smell like oil?”
The brunette pulled out of the embrace with a shy, but clearly proud, smile. “I’ve been working on a new robot.”
Lex raised his eyebrows, smirking as he asked, “oh? And what’s this one do? Fold clothes?”
“Of course not,” Lena rolled her eyes. “It’s a search and rescue bot, I’m designing it to be able to move and adapt to dangerous terrain like a human would, only better.”
That earned a deep chuckle from her brother, who reached out to ruffle her hair. “Sure thing, Lena.”
At this point, she had mastered hiding the sting of dismissal.
XXX
“Whatcha up to, Hot Stuff?” Veronica asked, strolling into Lena’s dorm as if it were her own.
“Working,” Lena offered, not looking up from her laptop.
“Mm,” Veronica dropped herself onto Lena’s bed, pulling herself off the edge just far enough to prop her elbows on the desk positioned at its end. She poked her head over Lena’s laptop. “Wanna take a break?”
“Not particularly.” The response was flat and unengaged - Lena really wanted to get this project done before finals kicked up and she lost all her free time. She’d been wanting to look at designing a cheap, naturally insulated material that could be used to 3D print a full house - if a big enough printer was designed - for ages, and finally had the time to.
Veronica pushed her head further over the screen, letting her hair fall to cover part of the display. “C’mon, you can spare a few minutes for your favorite girl.”
Lena raised an eyebrow at that, finally looking at Veronica’s face - if only because it had essentially been forced into her eye line. “And who would that be?”
“Me, of course!” Veronica pecked Lena’s lips before rolling off the bed and moving to stand next to her with an exaggerated pout.“Please? I haven’t had a good round in ages.”
“I really want to focus on this-” Lena started with a sigh, but she was cut off with a deep kiss that somehow ended with Veronica straddling her and very little of her lipstick still on her lips.
“Please? Just one orgasm,” Veronica tried again. “You need to get your head out of the clouds a bit anyway.”
By the time Veronica had come into her life, Lena had been an expert at her mask of indifference. By the time of this exchange, she was so good she almost fooled herself into not feeling the brief twisting of her gut.
XXX
“Hey, Lena!” Kara’s cheerful voice dragged Lena’s attention from the laptop in front of her. The blonde quickly seemed to realize she had interrupted something, and quickly moved to back peddle. “Sorry, are you busy? I thought I’d ask you to lunch but don’t worry about it if you’re doing something.”
Lena waved off the concern. “Just a side project, personal indulgence really.” She had long since learned that the best way to avoid the hurt was to dismiss herself before someone else could.
Kara didn’t seem to get the memo, however. She tilted her head like a puppy asking, “are you sure? I mean, I did drop in unannounced. You’ve got every right to kick me out.”
“Of course not, Kara. You can stay if you’d like.” Lena glanced at her screen, telling herself it was to check the time rather than look at her design one last time - freetime was a rarity for the CEO, it might be several weeks or possibly even months before she could pick it up again.
The reporter took it for what it was though, quickly offering a compromise. “How about you tell me your chinese order, I go get us some takeout while you get to a stopping point with your project, and when I come back you can tell me all about it.”
Lena paused for a moment, thrown off by Kara’s… understanding? Still, decades as a Luthor held her mask in place and she quickly agreed, texting Kara her order as the blonde swept out of her office as suddenly as she came.
Later, she would find herself talking animatedly about the mechanics of a 3D printer scaled large enough to print a house using Lena’s insulated plastic she had designed and patented (under her name, not LCorp’s - it was from college) for this purpose exactly, chowmein in one hand while the other jotted down the new ideas the conversation provided. She wasn’t quite as good at hiding the lightness that filled her, but it was foreign enough to go unregistered regardless.
XXX
“I hear LCorp has a new product launch soon,” Kara prompted over one of their now almost weekly lunches. “Any chance it’s the same product you ditched our last movie night for?”
Lena blushed at the jab, bowing her head slightly in apology. “Sorry again, I was in the labs and lost track of time. Not that it’s an excuse, I should have better time keeping-”
“Lena,” a warm hand covered her’s where it layed on the table, causing Lena to look up into soft blue eyes. “I was teasing, I’m not mad. Stop apologizing, I get it.”
The CEO blinked in an almost owlish way at the sentiment, but quickly nodded her acknowledgment. “If you say so, I suppose. To answer your question though, yes, it is the same product.”
There was that adorable head tilt again. “Does your favorite reporter get an inside scoop?”
Lena chuckled, finding herself surprisingly sure it was a joke rather than anything actually work related. Kara wanted to know about her work as a friend, not a journalist. “I’m afraid not, but my best friend might get one if she asks nicely.”
Lena wasn’t even surprised when the words “best friend” fell out of her mouth, even if they were foreign to her. If she had to give what Kara was to her a simple term, best friend seemed close.
“Alright then.” Kara leaned forward, putting on her best puppy dog eyes and fluttering her lashes dramatically. “Lena, would you please tell your absolutely dearest friend about whatever super cool project you’ve been working on in complete secrecy these past few months?”
The Luthor found herself laughing once more at Kara’s theatrics before indulging her, launching into a somewhat basic explanation of the search and rescue bots she had finally perfected. They had adaptive problem solving abilities similar to that of anyone in a trained rescue unit, but they were far more physically capable than any human could dream of - more flexible, adaptable, durable, everything.
When she finished, Kara’s face was full of awe. “Lena! That’s so cool! That’s gonna like, revolutionize rescue teams! I know I asked as a friend, and I still wanna know everything as a friend too, but after the release can I try to get Snapper to let me write on this?”
Lena’s eyes went wide briefly, though she was getting somewhat better at hiding her surprise when Kara supported her. “You- you want to put out an article about my bots?”
Kara nodded enthusiastically, “It’s amazing, the exact kind of world changing stuff I wanna work with! I totally get if you’d rather I leave the coverage to someone else though, I still wanna know all about it.”
“I- no, of course you can cover it if you’d like to. I can- would you like an exclusive?” Lena offered.
Kara’s face lit up even further. “Working with my best friend? Uh, yes please!”
For a moment, Lena swore she felt someone ruffling her hair, but quickly passed it off as wind when she registered the almost painful warmth spreading through her chest.
XXX
“Kara!” Lena looked up when her office door opened, briefly surprised to see the blonde in her doorway before registering the take out bags in her hands. Lunch. “Sorry, I completely forgot our plans! Give me just one moment to save this project, go ahead and get settled.”
“No worries!” Kara did as instructed, moving to lay their food out on the coffee table. “Whatcha workin on?”
Lena felt the briefest impulse to lie - it was a small improvement to an irrigation design that she planned to manufacture and ship out quietly, not even patenting the work. She had gone to the leading agricultural company, striking a simple deal with the CEO - Lena gives them the design, and they keep it cheap, sustainable, and otherwise appealing to farmers and gardeners alike. The poor business choice wasn’t lost on her, but she mentally shook away the lie on the tip of her tongue.
“Some simple improvements on an irrigation system,” she said.
Kara looked up from sorting their food, curiosity clear on her face. “I didn’t realize LCorp had much of an agricultural branch.”
“We don’t,” Lena agreed, picking up on the clear question in the statement. “I plan to give this to another company in exchange for their guarantee of sustainability and accessibility.”
She found herself bracing for the disapproval of her choice - from a financial, marketing, or general growth standpoint it was a horrible plan - but what she got instead was an almost awed look.
“You’re really just going to give your work away?” Kara asked. If it was anyone else posing the question Lena would feel defensive, but the softness of the blonde’s tone clearly displayed it as a compliment if anything.
“Yes, I haven’t used any company resources for it so I have every right to. The other company was far more agreeable to my terms than my board would be anyway.”
The fuzzy feeling Lena was starting to expect filled her as she observed how proud, nearly reverent Kara seemed. She didn’t hide her blush.
XXX
“Lena?” Kara’s voice echoed through her apartment, but Lena didn’t bother answering. The blonde had let herself in, and could easily use her super hearing to find her. All Lena had to do was wait and continue enjoying her book.
Ian Stewart.
Lena had been revising his latest manuscript - at some point she had become peers, maybe even friends, with the man who first piqued her interest in mathematics and engineering - but she quickly found herself scrambling to cap her pen and shove away her papers.
“What were you doing?” Kara asked with amusement from her doorway, “You look like you’re trying to hide evidence of a murder.”
Lena froze. Those are rather big books.
“Nothing, just a favor for an acquaintance,” she offered.
Kara laughed, flopping onto Lena’s bed, half on top of the woman (though she was careful to float slightly at first to avoid hurting her). “Now you sound like a teen boy whose parents almost caught him watching a porno.”
When Lena simply blushed at the comparison rather than offering any further explanation, Kara rolled so her back was firmly on top of the majority of Lena’s front, looking up at her with a dramatic pout.
“Leeeee,” she whined. “I know you were doing something smart, you’ve got your smart face on.”
Lena looked away, still unsure what to do with her girlfriend’s pout after nearly five years of being on the receiving end of it. “Just revising a manuscript for someone, it touches on one of my projects and he wanted me to check it for accuracy.”
Kara smiled, shifting to wrap herself more comfortably around Lena. “Sounds super smart. Who’s the guy smart enough to ask you for help and cool enough to get it?”
Lena laughed lightly at that, though there was an underlying discomfort as she mumbled, “Ian Stewart.”
Kara’s brow furrowed. “Isn’t that the guy who wrote like a third of your childhood bookshelf?”
All Lena offered was an affirmative hum, waiting for Kara to fall into line with the script.
“Gosh, it must be so cool to be editing for a guy who was like an idol to you, yeah?” Kara looked up, pride shining through every feature. “I mean, you’ve said he’s the one who got you interested in math in the first place right? You quote him sometimes, you have to have really admired him.”
“I still do,” Lena whispered.
She had forgotten, for a moment, that this was Kara . The bundle of light in her arms broke every script Lena knew, and she was nearly as adapted to the pain of affection in her chest as she was to the pain of disappointment.
XXX
“I need help,” Kara said, tone scarily serious, as soon as Lena answered her call.
“What? What’s going on?” Lena instantly shot out of her chair, looking around her office for her keys.
“I need to build a better fort than Alex and Kelly, but they’re being smart and I don’t know how to be smart on this planet,” Kara explained, tone equally serious but still relaxing the CEO. Kara was being Kara, and nearly gave Lena a heart attack in the process. Kara continued, “I convinced them to make it a couple’s challenge, so I need your help.”
Lena chuckled lightly, the laugh dispelling the last of the tension from the urgent tone that started the call. “I’ll be over in an hour, Darling.”
“But I need help sooner,” Kara whined over the line. “Alex and Kelly promised to stop planning until you got here, but they already have such a head start!”
The young Luthor’s laugh was fuller this time, pushed out by fondness for her wife. “I’ll be home as soon as I can, I promise.”
The other end of the line was silent for a moment, and Lena could practically see the determined pout on Kara’s face. “Promise to strategize between CEO stuff?”
“Of course,” Lena’s tone was full of faux offence, “We can’t lose. I am a Luthor, after all.”
“You’re a Danvers, actually,” Kara reminded her cheerfully. “I gotta go, Alex thinks we’re cheating. See you soon, Sunshine! Love you!”
The line went dead before Lena could say it back, but she still offered a “love you, Darling” to her empty office just in case Kara was still listening. She knew she didn’t need to hide how warm she felt when her phone quickly buzzed with a message - castle emoji, flexing emoji, heart emoji. Even if Kara was there, Lena’s dopey smile would have been returned rather than judged.