Archive of Our Own ^beta

Todoroki Shouto surely knows he's not the emotional type of person. He doesn't walk around with rage, doesn't show the pain he feels, and he doesn't snarl at every person he faces, unlike a certain someone.

With Midoriya gone, the dorms was somehow gloomy and less vibrant, everything and every one of them was quiet whenever they'll meet at the lobby, save from the occasional attempts of Kaminari and Kirishima lifting everyone's mood up. But it was to no vain. Not when Bakugou "walking-time-bomb" Katsuki is within the area.

It's understandable, they just let him be. But he's too much sometimes. He unnecessarily barks at whoever spoke to him, growling to the daily call for dinner, and shuts down any attempt at starting worried conversations. There are also times when he's uncharacteristically silent, just brooding on the couch surrounded by his group of friends, trying to get him going for small talks, which he completely tunes out.

Shouto sees it all, but he doesn't leave a comment about it. He just darts a short glance at the blond, and would proceed to whatever he was doing. He would stand with him by the kitchen counter, but won't talk. Sip coffee with him on their shared couch, and just wait until they leave for class.

Bakugou doesn't speak a word, and neither does he. It was just a shared silence, a somehow feeble attempt at communication, but they both know. They both understand.

It was one unproductive night, a few of them lounging by the dorm's lobby, when the news broke out. Endeavor, along with a few other heroes, brought down a villain, again. It was classified, but the media reported the successful stake out, also stating that a few heroes were injured.

Shouto then heard the train of quiet whispers around his friends, speculating on what happened and who were involved. He just watched them piece their own theories together. One of them, probably Mineta, strongly insisted that Midoriya was with the hero team-up.

"Of course he is, that fucking dumbass." Every one of them became utterly silent, quite surprised by Bakugou's low, cold voice. He was standing behind the couch with hands in his pocket, head crouched down to his chin. His eyes were hidden behind his hair, making it impossible to read whatever expression he's currently sporting.

"Oh, Bakugou!" Kirishima sprung up, acknowledging his presence, and was quick to be by his side.

"You think so too, huh." Was all Uraraka could mutter, who seemed strangely unenthusiastic, surrounded by the girls, while Iida and Yaoyorozu stood at the sides, lost in their own thoughts. All of them have clouded expressions on their faces.

Shouto stood up, calling out a "Katsuki," to the blond's direction, only for the latter to tune him out, turning around and walking back to the elevator. Before he could follow, Bakugou was out of sight.

In any other days, Shouto would simply stand behind the blond and set his hands on the former's back, barely there but enough to show he is, indeed, just right there. Bakugou would give him a glare, but doesn't swat his arm away.

Sometimes, Ashido would come down to the kitchen for a snack, and she would see the two of them on the couch, shoulders touching while enveloped by a comfortable silence. Maybe even caught a glimpse of subtle touches. She doesn't dare interrupt them.

Some one night, Kirishima would hear muffled and strained voices coming from the other side of the wall, accompanied by a comforting shush and a series of quietly spoken words. He doesn't bring it up the day after.

It was like their own way of coping, of communicating when one doesn't have the strength to talk. The other would just be there, a sort of an anchor to keep them floating at bay. It's an understanding.

The whole class just let the two of them do their thing in peace. It was like meditative for the both of them, at times. Completely ignoring the world, just idly hanging around, with a calm wave of silence over their heads.

Now, Shouto stands in front of Bakugou's door. He doesn't come here that much, considering they always camped at Izuku's or his room when hanging out. This was off-limits. Well, not until the said green haired boy left, anyway. He was somewhat a regular here now.

He raised his right hand and knocked twice. He could hear a shuffling from inside, followed by a grumbled, "leave me the fuck alone, candy cane". That's his cue to come in.

He opened the door with his left, and was greeted by a dimly lit room, curtains drawn. Closing the door, he stumbled upon a few pair of shoes scattered about. He could make out the blond's silhouette seated on his bed.

"You're really stubborn, huh? Just like how stupid Deku did." Bakugou chuckled when Shouto took a seat beside him, albeit tentatively. He reached out a hand and grasp the blond's, smoothing out his palm and linking their fingers together.

"Katsuki—"

A beat. All it took was a second and Bakugou's lips were crashed on his, hands fisting on his collar, pulling him in. It was rough, broken, wounded.

Shouto was caught off guard, but doesn't back away. He answered the kiss with just the same ferocity, angling his face and giving out more. He cradled Bakugou's face with his free hand, gently rubbing the other's cheek.

Nothing was new. It was a thing they both did a few times already. Somehow, it was a form of comfort. A subtle reassurance that things will be fine and will go back to the way they were again. They don't talk about it, though. It just happens, and goes away. And they're both fine with it.

It made them forget about reality for a moment, which, after a while, would come crashing down again, pinning them to the ground hard enough to break their trance.

They broke off when they both ran out of air, puffing breaths and panting. He rested his forehead against the blond, closing his eyes as he heard him let out a pained sigh.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, hands entertwined while their foreheads touch, until Shouto heard the first hint of a frustrated sob from Bakugou. It was quiet, low and muffled, barely audible, but enough to make him shudder.

It was full of pain, anger, longing, and other mix of emotions Shouto couldn't bring himself to decipher. It was an unfamiliar sound, specially coming from the man in front of him. It just doesn't seem right.

"Katsuki, hey." He gently cupped the other's face and tapped his cheeks softly, the latter pointedly avoiding eye contact. "It's fine, yeah? I'm right here."

The first set of tears cascaded down the blond's cheeks, prompting a few series of broken sobs from him. Shouto pulled back to place a gentle kiss on his forehead, down to his eyes, his cheeks, kissing away the tears. He settled back again to connecting their forehead, letting out a few comforting words he knew.

Bakugou doesn't comment about it. He doesn't snarl at Shouto saying he's bad at this, doesn't push him away. He just breaks down, and Shouto's right there to be by his side.

It is unusual. Bakugou Katsuki is certainly the kind of guy who is strong and tough. He can be aggressive, loud, and explosive but deep down, he's just someone who's full of vulnerability and insecurities. He displays a stonewall front when it comes to his emotions, and he shields himself when it comes to his deepest feelings.

Izuku told him once. The three of them went out one weekend, just wandering around town on their off day after a tiring day of intern patrol. Bakugou went to order their coffees and cakes, as he lost the great battle of rock-paper-scissors, leaving the two of them alone.

"Kacchan's so great, isn't he?" Izuku started, sparkling green eyes following the blond's moves. "I've known him since we were kids, but he never breaks down. Or so I thought." He lets out a small smile, gaze settling at Shouto, who just hummed for him to continue.

"I was surprised when we had that confrontational battle before. He spoke himself up, displayed raw emotions, told me everything he had felt. And I thought, 'wow, he kept all of that to himself?'. I was proud of him, happy, too, that he's finally letting someone in on his life. He's a good guy, you know? He just doesn't know how to show it. Always keeping things for himself, bottling it all. We both know he's not alone anymore, right?"

The freckled boy beamed, admiration can be seen in his bright green eyes.

With that, Izuku dropped the topic as Bakugou approached, irritation on his face while holding their tray, complaining about the line being 'too fucking long', and plopped down beside Shouto. Izuku left a side comment of them looking cute together, and Bakugou literally smoked.

They ate merrily after that, with their occasional banter about nonsensical things and Shouto's request to eat soba later on.

After a while, he felt Bakugou leaning in, dropping his head on Shouto's shoulders. His shirt was damped with the other's tears, but he couldn't care. He simply encircled his arms around the blond and nuzzled his soft spiky locks. He hugs him back.

Shouto doesn't talk for a while, settling for the serenity of the moment. He started mapping circles on the surface of the other's back, hoping to ease him. The blond hummed, a low pleased sound as he settled in the warmth of the embrace.

"He's fucking stupid." Bakugou's strained voice filled the stillness of the room. It was a strange noise, one he rarely hears from the blond, croaked.

"He is, yeah."

"And an idiot."

Shouto quieted down for a second, then frowned when he said, "That's the same, Katsuki."

"Shut up, Candy Cane." Bakugou sniffed, hands grasping the fabric of Shouto's shirt, still snuggling by his neck. "And he's a shitty nerd."

"Hm."

A comfortable silence washed over them, Bakugou still pressed against Shouto, as the dimness of the room surrounds the both of them. It was like they were on a different world of their own, completely basking in the presence of one another.

Shouto likes this. Would love it even more if Izuku was here with them.

He was a whole sunshine, sometimes a little brighter than usual you would think of him as the actual sun, or so as Bakugou would describe him. Izuku does that everytime. Beaming and laughing and just lighting up everyone's lives every now and then. And now, he's not even here anymore.

"We're taking him back." Bakugou suddenly spoke up, voice full of conviction.

Shouto is not surprised. He knew something was going on with the other as days passed by, careful silence and subtle resolve just hidden within the surface. He was thinking, probably already plotting plans on his mind.

He lets out a small smile. He knew he could count on this explosive genius when it comes to coming up with certain things. And that includes the whole ordeal with Izuku.

"Glad to know we're on the same page then." Shouto lets him go, and they stared at each other's eyes, the blond's were still puffy from crying. He can see the determination in those flaring red eyes of his, rock solid and unwavering. They stood their ground.

"Hell yeah, IcyHot. We're dragging his ass back up here."

And maybe, just maybe, Shouto got threatened to be blasted outside the window when he brought up Bakugou's earlier crying fit. Maybe made it even worse when he offered to cuddle the blond to help him sleep.

He earned himself a few scratches when he got thrown out of Bakugou's room, a few heads popping from their doors asking him what happened for the blond to scream that loud.

He smiled apologetically at them, about to answer when Bakugou bellowed from his room.

"You little shit. Shut the fuck up or I will blast your ass off the building!"