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The ringing doorbell sliced through Adam's head like an electrical charge. Hands over his ears, he stumbled toward his front door, cursing.
Yanking it open, Adam squinted out into the vicious California sunlight. "God. What…"
Tommy waved a brown paper bag under Adam's nose. "Hangover hamburgers."
Adam batted at the bag and stepped back. The smell, which he was pretty sure would've normally made his stomach growl, only made him feel sicker. Too much alcohol and too little time to sleep it off—the last part courtesy of his ass of a best friend—tended to do that to him.
*
Squeezing past Adam and into his house, Tommy grabbed him by the wrist and tugged him toward the kitchen. "Come on. You'll thank me."
Not completely coherent yet, Adam stumbled after, bemused. "What?"
"Burgers. Best thing there is for a hangover."
"My stomach's gonna heave from the smell," Adam countered grumpily, not sure why he was letting Tommy maneuver him onto a barstool at the island in his kitchen.
It might've had to do with how cute Tommy looked with his makeup all done up and his fringe teased and pushed back by the sunglasses on top of his head.
"You're trying to lure me in," Adam said suspiciously.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Tommy asked, too innocently, as he grabbed sodas out of the refrigerator.
"The makeup, the hair, the sunglasses on your head that I told you make you somehow look even hotter… You are. You're trying to distract me so I won't think about the calories and fat in this stuff."
"You're sadistic. You know I can't eat this," Adam grumbled, poking at the hamburger box Tommy had put in front of him.
Tommy rolled his eyes and popped the lid open, then picked the box up and waved it under Adam's nose. "Sure about that? It's the best cure for a hangover."
"Says you," Adam countered.
"Come on," Tommy cajoled. "You know you wanna."
Adam cracked up in spite of the headache trying to split his head open. "You're such a bitch."
Tommy made kissy lips at him. "Only for you, babyboy."
Adam groaned, but couldn't wipe the grin from his face. "Not the nicknames."
"Whatever it takes for you to eat the burger," Tommy said solemnly.
Adam arched an eyebrow at him.
Tommy grinned, expression exasperated and affectionate at the same time. "Whatever it takes that doesn't involve your dick in my ass or mouth."
Adam pouted. "You straight boys are no fun."
"That's attractive," Adam said, but he was already side-eyeing his burger, the smell not so much making his stomach turn anymore as it was making it growl.
He'd heard fat settled your stomach after a night of drinking, he'd just never tried it, too worried about his waistline. Deciding to give it a shot, he picked it up and bit into it. It tasted like what he imagined heaven would.
He moaned.
"Told you," Tommy said smugly.
"Where is this place? These are amazing," Adam asked, taking another bite.
Tommy grinned. "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you."
Adam rolled his eyes and his head started to spin. "Fuck," he said, putting his hand to his forehead and closing his eyes. "Shouldn't've done that."
Tommy chuckled. "You probably shouldn't've done a lot of things, starting with your fourth or fifth drink last night."
"A little sympathy would be nice," Adam complained.
Tommy snorted. "Dude, you did it to yourself."
Tommy took his time with his last bite.
Adam braced himself for the worst.
Tommy swallowed, took a drink of his soda, and said, "We made out in a club. There were camera phones."
Adam's eyes widened in horror. "What?"
Tommy shrugged. "You know I get handsy when I'm drunk."
"Oh shit," Adam groaned. He didn't even remember Tommy being there. Somehow that made it worse.
"And then you asked me to marry you," Tommy added.
"You heard right," Tommy said. "You proposed to me in a club full of camera phone happy fans."
"Oh God," Adam said, head dropping forward into his hands. Anxiety rolled through him. Glad for the burger settling his stomach, Adam regrouped and lifted his head. "Okay. That's … bad, but we can laugh it off as drunken stupidity, right?"
"Right," Tommy agreed with a nod. "Except for how we ran off to Vegas and tied the knot. You let fans tag along and film the whole thing. It went viral about three seconds after it hit YouTube."
Tommy managed a straight face for all of ten seconds before he cracked a grin. "Yeah, but now maybe you won't get as freaked out over what really happened."
Adam groaned. "Give it to me."
Tommy studied him. "You seriously don't remember?"
Adam shook his head.
"Let's just say there was a menorah, the song You Light Up My Life and a drag queen involved." Tommy paused a beat. "The whole thing did go viral three seconds after it hit YouTube. That part was true."
"Oh my God," Adam said.
"Thank fuck for that at least," Adam mumbled.
He vaguely remembered singing while waving around a menorah. So embarrassing.
"Yeah," Tommy said. "Too much skin. There were debates on whether it could be considered pornography."
A memory of a drag queen he didn't even recall meeting riding him in the back room of some club—while he sang and waved the menorah around—flashed through Adam's pounding head.
"Kill me now," Adam said, horrified and pretty sure his hangover burger was about to make a reappearance.
Adam clutched his stomach. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Oh no you don't," Tommy said. "That's why I brought the food. Just breathe through it. You'll be fine."
"Easy for you to say," Adam argued. "You're not the one with a sex tape out there for the world to see. It doesn't matter that it's been yanked from YouTube, it's still out there. People downloaded it. You know they did."
"Yeah," Tommy mused. "I guess that is worse than us getting married."
"Before the video got yanked, there were some good comments," Tommy offered. "People were impressed with the size of your dick and raved about how you stayed in key even though you were drunk and in the middle of sex."
"Yeah?" Adam asked, trying to see the bright side.
"Yeah," Tommy agreed. "Apparently a surprising number of people have tried and it's hard to do."
Adam shook his head, bemused. "I don't know how you did it, but you totally made the sex tape seem less bad."
Adam chuckled. "Yeah?"
Tommy nodded. "Nothing seems as bad after you eat something from there."
"So," Adam asked, leaning back against the counter. "You drew the short straw, didn't you?"
Tommy snorted. "I'm pretty sure Isaac rigged it."
Adam laughed and pulled Tommy in for a hug.
Kissing the top of his head, Adam murmured, "Thanks for the hangover cure, Tommy Joe."
Tommy hugged him back. "Anytime. The Sandbar makes awesome burgers, don't they?"
"Totally awesome," Adam said, not talking about the burgers at all.