Chapter Text
She found him in an underground bar.
One… that was so hidden in the city, deep in the dark recesses of Busan, where the shadows hidden within its patrons’ souls would come out to carouse in each other’s’ company.
There were no celebrities mulling about in this establishment; non— that is, sane enough to want to enter. It was a place where the kingdom’s journalists couldn’t touch, where rumours could never dream of wandering in, only the most influential, powerful individuals within society traded: information, authority, favours, whatever… that words on paper had no power to hold.
Night and day, light and darkness— they are the two halves of each whole. If Lee Gon and the royal family were the light, then this place would come closest to be known as the country’s dark, it’s existence crucial for balance, hence tolerated.
And it was also the place where Corea’s celebrated Captain of its Royal Guards, Jo Yeong, had chosen to come and lick his wounds like a wounded puma would after a fight.
Only a few hours before, Seung Ah was busy covering Pyeha and Tae Eul’s engagement ceremony. The country was in bright spirits, the royal couple wished for it to be an intimate affair, before the full-blown wedding celebration as expected of their status on the appointed date. Jo Yeong spared no expense in its’ security arrangements, as usual, him being his usual surly self— and nobody thought to think otherwise of his curt and cutting replies as they acquainted it with stress or unbeatable dedication.
Seung Ah couldn’t put a finger to it, so she wondered and observed and wondered again, until the captain disappeared altogether when everything was said and done. She recalls that Jo Daejangnim had already been increasingly tense on the days prior to the engagement, almost upset even. Pyeha and his fiancée had entrusted her with the task of tracking down his whereabouts, confused and worried about his immediate absence after the ring-exchange.
Hence, she did not think much of it when a certain elderly court lady alluded to the probable location of the young captain, a wistful smile as encouragement to send her on her way towards Jo Yeong. Seung Ah received instructions saying she would be guaranteed entry as long as she mentioned the older lady’s name.
Considering all the uncanny and unexplainable things leading up to this moment, the public affairs’ officer wasn’t weirded out to find the captain— first three buttons of his band collar shirt unbuttoned, a glass of spirits in front of him, his suit jacket slung over the back of his chair, tousled fringe, darkly handsome, aloof— the only customer seated at the furthest end of the bar top in this establishment.
He seemed to be unaware of her approach, but she knew better than to assume that, would he even be able to recognise her in his state?
“Jo… Daejangnim?” she reached out a finger devoid of nail-polish to cautiously prod his right arm.
He turns, taking his time, and her breath crumples at the look of anguish in his eyes. She wondered if he carried the ability to summon storm clouds; the probability of her getting sucked in high. Her only allowance from him is a small nod, before his attention returned to the glass in front of him.
Who? Who else besides the king could be in possession the ability to break Jo Yeong’s heart like so?
Seung Ah has always been harbouring a major crush on this man, so witnessing his look of defeat makes her decide against leaving him to drink alone. Signalling to the bartender for another glass but something lighter like Champagne, she takes the seat next to him. She will stay for a while in case he does something stupid while deep in his cups.
“Everyone’s looking for you, Pyeha and Eonni, especially.” Was it the light, or did his hands clench tighter around the glass when she mentioned the king; she shelved that observation for further consideration.
He hummed a noise, indicating he heard her, so she braved on: “Have you had your dinner?”
Now that definitely surprised him— and Seung Ah inwardly cheers at her victory after seeing a ghost of a smile appear— although he still did not face her and continued drinking; she’s not going to stop there.
“You’re upset. Did something bad happen earlier?”
No response. As if psychic, the bartender standing faraway from where they sat sent her an encouraging smile. She decided that she really liked this bar, even though its location sucked balls. She continued to study the depressed captain. He assumes she might go away if he keeps ignoring her.
“Are you upset because you just lost the love of your life?”
And really, it’s luck— just pure, unadulterated luck that her gut instinct signals something she might have been missing out on, or more inclined to ignore, perhaps.
Or was it also the fact that Jo Yeong completely tensed up upon hearing her last observation? Too late— she had already caught the delayed hitch of his Adam’s apple, as if forcing himself to swallow an impending hard truth.
“You’re in love with Pyeha.” Seung Ah tested the waters and kept a neutral tone. She wasn’t scandalised— no way— and it was neither a question nor a statement.
Just… an observation from a girl who has had a long-standing crush on a guy. A position like the esteemed Captain of Corea’s Royal Guards puts you in a position where you had to scrutinise as many threats or people at any one time, but it was nothing compared to being the focus object of many pairs of eyes in a single time frame, and observe him she did.
He finally looked at her and his eyes, usually so fierce— were devoid of an expression, she doubted they were even focusing on her.
“Bingo. You want a prize?” His voice scratched raw, so forlorn— it was the most vulnerable she had ever seen him.
Seung Ah wanted to give him a hug but she couldn’t; she wasn’t sure he’d accept it anyway. She wondered if he had cried; she wondered if he even knew— but she wasn’t that cruel nor insensitive— so she kept quiet.
The Jo Daejangnim everyone saw all the time was always so confident, slick and unflinching. Seeing him like this— shoulders slumped and defenceless, trying to find temporary relief from his misery by getting foxed. Forgive me dear ancestors in heaven but please let this descendant of yours be selfish and let her abscond common sense for tonight, let her have this for one night even if it breaks her own heart.
It was all the wrong reasons, she shouldn’t stay beside him and, he didn’t ask her to. But against better judgement; she didn’t… couldn’t leave him alone.
Jo Yeong didn’t get up to leave either.
They made a pretty picture: her fiddling with her champagne flute, him and his increasingly sluggish movements. She wondered if he had actually dozed off a few times. Seung Ah turned wide eyes on the other patrons of the bar— finding interest in their murmurs; she could identify politicians, ambassadors, businessmen and women— all immersed in their own discussions, it was a fascinating world she rarely got a glimpse at.
She also wondered if anyone of them would tattle about the presence of a soused captain of the royal guards, but she believes in Jo Yeong, he should know what he was getting himself into when he decided on this place to get stinking drunk.
“What are you doing here, little fairy?”
Her head swivelled back to look at him, he was staring at her. Little fairy, it was the first time he had called her with a pet name; was that how he saw her? A person’s eyes were the window to their soul— and the Captain wasn’t in the least bothered about hiding the pain he felt from his heartbreak, and to Seung Ah, it felt like a literal punch to the gut.
“I’m here for the champagne, not you. You’re not afraid that someone might catch you unawares like this? Drunk and unhinged”
“No. Nobody would be able to. I know my limits—” a smirk— a flash of something else instead of sorrow— which quickly turned dangerously bitter as soon as it appeared, “— although most times… most times I wish I didn’t.”
He picked up his glass to drain everything left in it and as soon as he put it down, it was immediately replaced with a new one. “Are you not going to ask me anything?”
How long has this been going on? When did you fall in love with Pyeha? Does anyone else know? Are you alright? What can I do to… help, to make you hurt less?
“No. Love is free, and you’re free to love whoever you want, right?” She took a sip of her own drink. “Besides, you seemed to have forgotten that I do pen fanfiction involving you and Pyeha in a relationship, yea?”
The reluctant small on his lips made her feel ten feet tall. “I haven’t read anything you’ve written thus far. I suppose I should be grateful that I’ve got a happy ending somewhere— even though in fiction only.”
“Yeap, and it’s freely accessible on the internet, what’s more. If it cheers you up, I can compose a new one for you— a minute attempt at healing your heartbreak. It’ll be rated suitable for all ages— so you won’t be scandalised.”
She wasn’t expecting the chuckle. It was progress, and wow, but happiness favoured Jo Yeong. He leaned his elbow on the bar top to prop his head up on one hand and looked straight into her eyes, unblinking. It was the sloppiest position she’s ever seen him made.
“How about in reality? What would you wish for me?”
An unexpected bombshell, and Seung Ah didn’t know if she should feel insulted or embarrassed that he would ask. Then again, she had never hidden her crush on him from anyone— least of all from him. Sneaky little bastard, shooting a question that’d throw her off like this.
“You might be surprised, but I’d only want for you to be happy. Personal feelings aside, I’d wish for the person I’m in love with, or for the people that I love to be happy, no matter their decision. It’d be difficult, but it’s what you’d want for them too, right?”
The Captain must’ve been really deep in his cups to snort a broken laugh, which was ironically enough, the happiest expression he’s revealed today at all save for the earlier chuckle. She hasn’t seen him smile more than once at any one time while in the palace; perhaps he had decided to truly not care a whit and imbibe.
“Everyday… every day I allow myself one glass of heartbreak.” Jo Yeong shook his head slightly, as if to clear the demons clouding his eyes, “But today… today, I—”
“— will drown yourself in a whole barrel of it. I get it.” Seung Ah continued for him. “Knock yourself out, Jo Daejangnim, even gods can get sad too. Hopefully I might be able to get a video of you vomiting or making some drunk-ass speech later for blackmail.” She added on a lighter note.
The drowsy smile that lifted the corners of his mouth as he looked at her (did she win the lottery today(?))— it was so unfair how attractive he was without even having to try.
“You keep drinking the same thing since I’ve gotten here, is it that good? Maybe I should get a glass to try.”
She raised her hand to signal the bartender, but the Captain surprised her by gently pushing his glass into her curled palm. He tapped her fingers with the back of his to indicate for her to sample a sip.
What a born seducer; why was she the only one feeling self-conscious about sharing—
For the love of all that is holy, a trail of fire raced down her throat; and Seung Ah had to barely restrain herself from spluttering the contents out of her mouth.
“What is this, gasoline?!”
“It’s the strongest one they have here.”
“And how many glasses have you downed since you got here?” so said the woman, but the Captain found it endearing how her eyes scrunched up when she tried for another sip.
“Honestly, I’ve lost count.” He finished the rest of its contents when she passed the glass back to him, and again, the bartender was approaching them with a new glass bottle. Jo Yeong must be damn bloody desperate to shirk his sense of reasoning here tonight, seeing that the drinks kept coming. She knew better than to stop him, so she’ll opt for a serving of Sake this time round.
“I thought you said you knew your limits, what happens if you cross it?”
Jo Yeong raised his glass towards her, as if toasting to the beginning of the night; a secret that only belonged to the both of them: “Well, you’re here, right?”
~
Afterwards, when the bar had reached closing hours and the enigmatic bartender, Mika, had escorted out his last two patrons, Seung Ah’s eyes again, strayed to the man sitting beside her in the back of the private-hire. They kept a distance of a seat in between them for her sake or his, she didn’t know.
Probably his— god knows she’ll end up doing something stupid like reaching her hand over to cover his, in the name of comfort.
Which she knows he will definitely not appreciate. Sensitive porcupine that he is.
She fiddled with an orange piece of post-it in her hand. The neat inscription on it spelled Jo Yeong’s address. Why Mika would hand her this (and a wink), coaxing her to accompany the Captain back to his home, she didn’t know. Seeing that the private-hire was already waiting for them outside the bar when they got out; the driver should probably know its intended destination. It appeared that the King wasn’t the only one who knew the other sides of Jo Yeong’s— she wondered what the relationship between the bartender and the Captain was.
Deciding to keep the peace and savour the last few moments of the night with the man sitting next to her (because she knows that she’ll never have this chance ever again), Seung Ah decides to keep content with staring out the window for the whole ride back to his place… but Jo Yeong had other ideas.
“You’re a sweet girl, Myeong Seung Ah.” He spoke up from beside her, it was a miracle he didn’t lose her name within all those glasses of bourbon and whatnots that he had imbibed earlier. “So kind and… loyal; anyone would be lucky to have you as their girl. I never had a chance to thank you but… Thanks.” His head looked up towards the hood of the vehicle, and his lips exhaled a breath to clear the haze that was clouding his mind.
He then gifted her with another smile for the night, and although it was a small one, she wishes he’d do it more often.
Only… Sweet girl— hearing that irked her for a reason. He saw her as… sweet? What kind of compliment was that? Did being ‘sweet’ get her anywhere? Was being ‘sweet’ the way to his heart? I’m about to make you wish you didn’t say that, Captain Jerk.
Good girls go to heaven— Seung Ah’s lecturer in college had mentioned it to the class before— but bad girls go everywhere.
Thus, it was because of this girl’s reckless daring, a girl who was also royally pissed off to the point she couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut— that she decides to blurt out a proposition she would never once in a million years thought that she would: “Then do you want to let this sweet girl comfort you tonight, Jo Daejangnim? Take a little bit of this sweet girl’s honey to forget the pain?”
She meant it as a tease, but at the same time she did not; half-pissed about his compliment, the other half because she has decided to throw caution to the wind. She wanted the man, and here he was laying his heartbreak out as clear as day for her to see, might as well propose a solution that could work for the both of them.
Since he was already behaving like a not-Jo Daejangnim tonight, she might as well be a not-Myeong Seung Ah too.
Also, she couldn’t give two flying f*cks about the driver listening on their conversation, she was sure he’d seen it all already if he was appointed to ferry the Daejang home in the latter’s state.
Her attention still remained on the city’s lights, half relieved that he’d remained silent, half still in shock that she’d initiate something bold. Oh... but if Jo Yeong didn’t dig chicks, then there really wasn’t anything she could do about it, Seung Ah though belatedly.
It was her turn to send him a smirk at his lack of response, but—
“Will you?” Her head swivelled back to catch the dangerous and savage glint in his eyes, was he funning her?
“Yea. Sure, why not?” Oh lord no, Seung Ah, you better stop for you are playing with the devil himself. “I’ve heard that a man can lose himself for a while in between a woman’s thighs. We can get to know each other in the most biblical sense of the word. Comfort… with no strings attached. I’ll even throw in breakfast in the morning too if you want.” The proposal was so crude, the taste of it so foreign even to her own tongue. The blush on her cheeks could rival the burn reserved for a sinner.
But after verbalising it, she realised she meant it, Seung Ah meant it with all her heart. No-one in the world was a veritable saint; she knew greed, lust, anger, reckless stupidity. But this logical man from the Palace— he won’t take her seriously, right? Alcohol made people daring, but Seung Ah was acutely conscious of the fact that whatever she had consumed tonight was nowhere near her threshold.
Will she? Just how far will she go for this man?
She didn’t want to know if he was looking at her as if she was crazy, even she was doubting her own sense of rationality. Thank heavens for small miracles because the chauffeur had stopped the vehicle and pronounced their arrival, interrupting whatever Jo Yeong was going to say.
If any, at all.
They rode the elevator up his condominium in silence, standing on opposite sides while facing each other. Seung Ah felt as if Jo Yeong was able to see through her soul/intentions despite him closing his eyes throughout the ride up. Perhaps he would magically forget her stupid offer, she knew she was desperately wishing for herself to.
The Captain seemed a little bit better now, just a few more minutes and she’d be able to pretend that none of this ever happened, that she’d never offered him that stupid proposal; that this day was one weird ass of a dream.
When the elevator doors opened at their designated level, she automatically reached for his arm (to support) and shockingly enough, he did her, but she wisely concealed her joy when they exited. There was only unit on that floor as far as the eyes could see, so she promptly deposited Jo Yeong at his doorstep as soon as she heard him key in the code to the front door; there was no place for her anymore thereafter.
But before she could take a step back in to the elevator, away from temptation; back to her own home where she could start licking her own wounds, Seung Ah felt herself suddenly being yanked backwards by the arm and into the wolf’s lair.
She thought she heard him mutter: “Running away, little fairy?”— but she wouldn’t bet on it, in light of all the things that had happened in just one night.
As soon as they left the prying eyes of surveillance, Jo Yeong immediately crowds her against the back of his closed door, one hand languidly raised to rest against it beside her head; the other still lingering on her arm.
It would have looked romantic, were it not for the fact that his eyes swam with the ghosts of his feelings for someone else. They were haunting, beckoning, so pure that her knees almost buckled under the force of them. Why were kings allowed to have everything?
“You’re alright? Do you need help settling in first?” she asked him, a little confused. Tonight was a curse or a blessing; she really can’t say. Defenceless in heartbreak, gentle and light-hearted even while semi-drunk, and now aggressive— she hated how he didn’t even need to try to lure her into his honey trap— even though he probably had zero intention to.
His grip didn’t hurt, but the fingers that circled her wrist definitely felt as if he was holding on to his last resort; the point of no return, the pill he shouldn’t even dream of touching.
“Did you mean it, what you said in the car earlier? That you’d comfort me today. You said you would help me forget.” Night hid all its secrets, and Jo Yeong wielded the night well, his throaty rasp revealed nothing; he was successful in camouflaging his feelings in contrast to her— she was damn bloody sure he read her like an open book, even though moonlight was their sole illumination. “Does the offer still stand, or were you joking?”
“I meant it, Jo Daejangnim. Still do.”
“Yeong— call me by my name if we’re going to do this. Just for today— I don’t want to hear that title. For a few hours, I want to forget.”
For one night, she could have him all to herself. For one night, he could be hers.
“You’re going to take up my offer? You’re sure? Don’t chicken out halfway if you get scared.”
His hand that was lightly resting at the back of her waist yanked her abruptly against him, until the scent of him was the only thing that dominated her senses. The height he held her forced her heels to lift off her pumps just slightly; just three more inches and their lips could meet each other. Jo Yeong put his face very near hers, but she still couldn’t fully discern the emotions laying within, she thought she saw something like resignation, like surrender— but he quickly masked it with something else.
Hoarsely, he asked her: “What if you’re the one who chickens out later, Seung Ah? Can I call you Seung Ah? How should you be punished then, hmmm?”
Asks the man whose lips had made their unhurried way along her shoulders, who made her name tumble from them sound like a desperate prayer, who had already begun undressing her blazer off her, who made the thought of leaving him now like a glimpse into her personal hell.
Whose fingers had dipped beyond the waistband of her pants, pulling free her shirt to graze the bare skin covering the base of her back. Seung Ah shuddered, they haven’t even started, but he had already found one of her sweet spots.
“Try me… Yeong. We only get one night; are you afraid you won’t be able to give it as good as you’ve got?” They both had passed the point of no return now. She continued to goad him: “Shall we play a game in which we will see who can last the longest in the bedroom tonight?”
The skin on her neck encountered the tentative warm lick of his tongue and she emitted a soft gasp, aroused beyond words. Seung Ah assumed that she would be in control of the situation but was slowly coming to realise that it might just be her wishful thinking. In his house, in the dark and even in his heartbreak; Jo Yeong still held the advantage.
He murmured brokenly beside her ear: “I’m supposed to ask you to run away, but I can’t.” The arms around her tightened, loud in its silent plea. “Comfort me, Seung Ah, comfort me. Help me forget… please.”
His voice cracked on the last word, indicating that the walls around his broken heart had fully crumbled and Seung Ah, helpless to ignore the Daejang’s anguish, stepped within them and began what she had proposed to do— to help him forget… at the cost of hers.